Confusion

A different kind of confusion
Not like I am used to
Similar, but not quite
Confusion born of new experiences
New experiences of the heart
Of the mind and body too
What do I do?
My heart had long ago resigned
To give and not receive like
My body, not quite one to inspire fantasies,
Accepted that certain sensations
Would never be felt and my mind . . .
My mind knew such as I
To be destined to the path of those
Standing in the shadows of others
This has changed
Now my heart receives just as much
Maybe more than it gives
My body experiences unfamiliar and
Frighteningly delightful things and my mind . . .
My mind begins to plan my future
A future in no one's shadow
Not even my own
Why is this?
Some would call it infatuation
Others could even call it love
This might be part of it
But there is more
Looking into eyes so deep I drown
My soul is laid bare
My soul is touched
This is what is so confusing
Infatuation involves only the mind and body
Love is merely infatuation plus the heart
What I feel is more
This is love plus the soul
An acknowledgement of soul-kin
What an emotionally mixed-up experience
Someone so similar is truly scary and yet
It comforts to know I am not so alone
Although I am still confused
Although I probably always will be
Although I do not quite understand
What it is about me you find so appealing
I give in to these feelings
I realize that they are uniquely
Fascinating and very pleasing
And in return for it all
The new experiences and sensations
Of my heart, my body, and my mind . . .
My mind created this poem to tell you
And I offer to you all that I am
My heart, my body, my mind . . .
And my soul I offer to you
Yours to do with what you will.

Valerie P Blancett


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