Fuck the lot of them. I'm just at a dead end now. Want to scream. Sadie - what?! Don't want to go round with those tickets now. Craig bugs me, scott bugs me, work bugs me and I'm not being paid. Parents aren't on my back but bug me in their own way. Feel totally fucked into the corner just wanna lash out at someone - if I never hear from Rachel again then that's just fine by me. SHIT BITCH FUCK!! They can all sit on their shelves, I'm leaving them all! I cut my head on the wall I've been this way for a long time now, i always thought we'd get along like a house on fire. Cry sooo hard for something almost beautiful.
Well went to see Sadie - she was nice with me we must have spent a good 20 minutes talking. I remember thinking as she came through the door "Oh my god" - her hair was sort of all messed up a bit and she looked just so horny. This girl is something special - say's she'll come down the balloon festival tomorrow evening. Went down myself half 9ish - crappy, nothing to eat. Craig was being an awkward bugger with me. Really felt that it wasn't worth the trouble coming down. left about 11pm.
I see Rachel didn't bother to return my call or nothing - stuff her, I just don't care anymore - I just find it so hard to believe though.
Sadie was wittering on about her work and her course - I wasn't even listening just staring in her eyes with longing. Who knows what why where or when, not sure how I feel now - I wouldn't say happy though.
© 1996 I can ignore you all I want on: its_sph@nene.ac.uk