WARNING: Acid can burn you, if you have acid pour it down the toilet, do it now, tomorrow it
may be too late.
Shock horror story today as Margareet Thartcher former prime minister of Gret Bitain
collapsed while on location at a golf course from a woodworm infestation, her husband
refused to comment on account of alcoholism but a medic at the scene at the time said that it
caused much concern for the doctors who had to operate on the 56 stone ex-politician six
months ago when she swallowed a spider to catch a fly. More news as it's made up.
Congratualations to the New President of the Unilateral Statements of Amourcor who's wife
has been graced with the beautiful and unexplained mystery of childbirth, the fourteenth
virgin birth this month.
If you really want a dog, you go and have yourself a dog similar with cats.
If you have Mars Rock, well you're lucky but if you haven't, well, who needs it?
I'm everso hungry right now and want to do something with my hair.
The Counting Crows album ain't too bad but I think you'd be better off with REM.
According to research I've been doing, seventy seven per cent
More news just in:
Yeah, okay sue me sue my lawyer
of people are able to will a mental change from the colour black to navy blue
this compares to just thirteen percent in tests carried out by a Doctor Hawthorne
in the thirties. It is possible to identify the change by a microscopic swelling
on the snatch membrane just above the cortex.
It's official, everyone in the world has forgotten who Lech Vlawenza is, see even I can't spell
his name. I wonder if Lech is short for something, Lector, Lectricia, Lectrina, Lecabelle,
Sharon, etcetera. According to surveys conducted by people who used to reside on
unemployment figures, no one can remember Lech or whether he was good, bad, ugly, or
indifferent, everyone seemed to know he was male (except that stupid tart who thought he
was that dolphin that was sexually assaulted - remember that, me neither) but I reckon that
was just lucky guessing. I seem to remember he was the leader of Solidarity, what is
solidarity and is that short for something as well, they used to say it on the news a lot and I
reckon it was something to do with Polish people or jews or something. Then again he might
have been the leader of shin feign (sein fein?) that was probably something to do with the
troubles, god I'm such a political guru I forget my own station. Guess work leads us to believe
that lech was tired and foreign looking with a grey beard and lines on his face, he wore a grey
suit or a blue jump-suit with a matching hat like some low ranking soldier. My own personal
guess work suggests that he had a wife and a young daughter (who would no doubt be an old
daughter today) and his father was once in prison. Also it always seemed to be snowing when
he was on telly and he'd look quite unhappy.
Houdini died to save us all.
Fruit is good for you!
© 1996 I can ignore you all I want on:
its_sph@nene.ac.uk