~SENSUOUS WRITINGS~


~HER~

As I sit here in front of the computer, staring (gazing)at a picture of Her, many thoughts race through my mind. I feel so alone and empty without her around. The last seven days of my life have been pure heaven. Although she just left yesterday, part of me inside feels she has gone forever and part of me feels that she is right here by my side. I do have very fond memories of this past week that will live with me forever. I told her in Feb. when we met that she touched my life in a very special way and brought out things buried deep inside of me that made me feel like I had a life and purpose. Well, she has done it again. I don't know what it is about her but just being in her presence is such a wonderful and uplifting experience. Does she have an inner force she projects when she is around me or others? Whatever it is, it works on me and I hope it will never stop.

As i sit here putting my thoughts on paper, I am reliving the last seven days, one day, even one minute at a time. I hear that lonely sax in the background playing that song. "Memories" God how I love that song!! Never really listened to that kinda music until she introduced me to it. Just another one of the many enjoyable things she has done for me. She is slowly opening up my eyes and showing me that there is a world out there. Please don't stop. I hope someday to see the world through her eyes and maybe someday the world will be ours to look at together.

It's late in the night! The waves are crashing against the shore as we walk hand in hand along the beach. Neither one of us seems to have a care in the world. I am so at peace with myself being in her company. I don't know what thoughts are going through her mind right now. She is so beautiful with her hair blowing back ever so slightly by the warm night breeze. The way the moonlight reflects off her cheeks and eyes. It's as if she is being kissed ever so softly and gently by the moon. A vision I will never forget! How could anyone ever want to not remember something so beautiful?

I have so many fond memories of the time we spent together, but one that is forever etched in my mind is one part of her that I never knew existed but am so glad I got to see it. Remember Bush Gardens? I think you know what I'am talking about. Yes, that's the one! We already talked about it. I didn't mention this to you before but it honestly was very emotional for me. The way you stood there for minute after minute just gazing at the Silver back gorrilla. In the beginning, I was in awe at the way you just stood there, gazing into his eyes. As I looked at you, I envisisioned your every emotion. I saw sadness, caring, concern, and even hurting on your face as if to say, "Why are they doing this to you my friend? I do feel for you and want to help you. If only I could!! Be at peace my friend and everything will be fine." I find it amazing how such a massive animal as the gorrilla can be so gentle and peaceful. Once again you have opened my eyes. And what magical, mystical powers do you posess that have such control over animals? (Me included) Just one of your many traits that facinate and intrigue me. Please don't let me stop learning about you!!!

Every minute of our being together has been so wonderful. Still i can't help but wonder, what is she feeling inside? Does she really care for me like she says, or is it just the vacation atmosphere? When she goes home on Friday, will she leave it all here in Tampa or will she take part of me home with her. She knows how I feel about her and I want to belive what she says about me. Am I being too cautious, afraid of being hurt. She knows I would NEVER do anything to hurt her. I wish we could be together right now. Am I trying too hard to win her? If I keep it up, will she get bored or angry with me and lose interest? If I back off, will she think I am losing interest and give up on me? What do i do? I don't want to lose any chance of us ever getting together as one. I don't want to make the wrong decision. What does she want? Does she want to keep our relationship as it is? Does she want to forget it? Does she want to further the relationship? If so, at what pace does she want to pursue it? It's up to her but she has to tell me and guide me. I want only to please her! Yes, I guess you could say I am obsessed with her and I think she knows it. I don't want to interfere with her life yet I want so much to be an everyday part of it. I'm sure we could make it work if even given the chance. But again, what does she want? Please tell me what you want me to do. Your happiness and well being is my only concern and you know that. I just hope that your happiness involves me being a part of your life. I know that me being a part of your life would mean much happiness for me. Am I being greedy or selfish in my way of thinking or feeling? I hope you don't think that because that is not my intention. You are my life and just want to know where i stand with you and what you want me to do about us. Do you want me to continue to pursue you on the path I have chosen? Should I back off? Do you just want to be friends? I need to know, and only you can tell me. I want (and need ) to get on with my life and want and need you as part of it. Please tell me what you want and what you want me to do. I don't ever want to do anything that would upset or hurt you. I felt a need to express my feelings and this is how I chose to do it please understand that everything that i have written has come from my heart. I love you very much and I ALWAYS will. Please LOVE me!

BY
~white dove~


One Of Many More Stories To Come





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