"We like Pratt Falls--You will, too!"
And now, a message to you from our mayor:
Jerry Mander
We here in Pratt Falls are always looking to find new ways
to generate interest in our little community.
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So Principal Lotta Lard over at the high school told me about
this here Inter-net, & then the city council decided that maybe
we should try out one of these home page dealies, just to see
how it all works.
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Incidently, you may have noticed in the above picture that
I am wearing a disguise.
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The Pratt Falls City Attorney has advised me to appear like this,
just in case there is a death squad out there somewhere,
that might want to make an example of me to the world.
I understand that sometimes even foreigners can make it
all the way over here to the U.S. of A., just by using
one of these computer jobbies, and then hooking up
to one of our satellites and fiber optic lines or whatnot.
If you happen to be one of these aliens I am referring to,
I want to welcome you to this slice of our life, and I am
in a position to assure you, that you will be treated here
the same as our regular American customers.
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(But say, if you're one of these space aliens
we keep hearing about)
You buzz off now, and go back where you came from, Buddy!
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However, if one of you foreigners likes what you read here
about our town, and you decide that maybe you want to
join us real-permanent-like, just make sure you bring
that little green card along with you.
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But if you're one of these here undocumented aliens,
you might as well not even bother coming, because
our Police Chief Chet Davis will just run you off, anyhow.
HERE
HERE
Then click 
then I'd move to Pratt Falls!"
--Sheriff Andy Taylor
