Saturday July 26, 1998
5:30 AM
It's finished. For thirty days and a couple, I've sat here in my room, at this eigthy year old table with a 1998 model computer machine on it. And I typed, and typed and typed more and more; eight and ten hours a day I typed, drank coffee and smoked cigs till I got ill feelings. Now it is finished, least the old notebooks part. Transforming scribblings of ink on paper into magnetic moments on iron coated disk, ten million "bits" of memory both kinds of memory, disk and brain, is done.
I'm going to go freak out for a few days now.
Monday Aug 3, 1998
12:05 PM
I havent freaked out all that much, just been doing stuff as it needs to be done. Thought maybe I'd make a short trip somewhere but didnt. Didnt do any wild teen stuff either. Just what needed to be done is all. Cant remember what I did.
Last Friday afternoon, July 31, I did go up to my old Best Friend Whitewater Falls to sit around for a bit. Read about how much I use to do that while typing up the old Journal stuff, and it had been a while since I just hung out up there. It's been dry this Summer, the river is way down and could climb around where the river normally flowed over the edge, hadnt be able to do that since the mid eightys drought.
The Forest People changed a bunch of stuff up there too, bigger parking area, new facilities (the old chem-tanks are gone now), put in some wooden stairs down to the lower overlook (it's not like walking a bit of nature anymore on that short stretch).
It doesnt feel the same anymore either, we're (I'm) just old friends now, the Falls belong to a new, youthful generation now. It might have been the same, or might be when the college kids come back, I guess there's a group that still goes up to the Falls.
Saturday, August 1, had some work started on Mom's septic tank, it hadnt been draining right for years. The tank was full so had to have it pumped out before anything else could be done. The lids were brittle and broke, was going have them replaced, then one side of the tank was bent in by a big root, so that lead to a new tank, the drain box around front was full too, so that meant a new gravel drain pit. The whole thing was full of roots from the trees. Anyway, the two men doing the work are suppose to be there tomorrow to finish the job. It will have to be done soon, cause the tank aint hooked up to the drain field yet.
Went down to visit with Uncle DM and Aunt Mickie one day last week, hadnt done that in a long while either and I use to go down about every other week before I started working the last computer job. I did go down there once while typing up the Journal, we talked about that. I took them a copy of my British Isles tour and the pictures last week. Cut Mom's grass one day last week too and did the weed cutting job around my house the next day. Only other thing I remember doing was riding around the county like I use to, just to put in the time.
Added some Random Ressurected Rememberances to Book 4 Part 6.
Thursday Aug 20, 1998
3:30 PM
Well, ok, so I've gotten behind in the Journal again, so what else is new about that?
The men doing the septic work came on Wednesday August 5 and finished hooking up the tank and digging the gravel drain pit. They covered everything back up, hauled a truck load of extra dirt off, then left. I've spent most of the time digging around, raking dirt, and otherwise cleaning up the front and back yards at Mom's house. Man, that's hard work when you're not young anymore and been sitting around in front of a computer for months.
I mostly dug the dirt off the grass and piled it up where there werent no grass left in the front. I just piled it all up in one place in the back. Spent a couple of days trying to figure out how to pack it back down over the tank and drain pit. Thought about using a roller but nobody had one that I could borrow or rent. Then I remember Dad had made a hand pounder, a big block of wood with iron pipe handles. I used that, lift and drop lift and drop lift and drop.... It will all settle down more anyway and leave a low place.
Still had more dirt left over around front so I spent one day shoveling it onto the little truck, drive over to my house, shovel it off the truck beside my driveway, drive back to Mom's. Then do it all over again about 6 times. I quit that day but still had to wheelbarrel some from the front to the back.
Anyway, I cast some seed out and covered it with straw as I got sections cleaned up and leveled off. There's grass growing over the tank now, it's bare in some place, the other areas havent started growing yet and still got straw over them.
New subject... a couple of weeks ago the truck got to where it wouldnt crank everytime, the starter would make about half turn then quit. It had been doing that for a while but I just let it get worse, then I decided it was time to get it fixed. Drove it over to the neighborhood garage and told the man what I thought it was, the starter maybe. Left it with him that morning and walked the 3/4 mile back home. That's the first walking I done in a long time, not much I know. But it was nice to walk the road, crossed over Twelve Mile River, up the hill and over to my house. That afternoon the man called, said it was ready, so I walked back over to the garage. Didnt seem so bad going back, it was hot and humid and got all sweaty, but did decide there was more uphill from the garage to my house than from my house to the garage. Anyway, he figured it was the battery rather than the starter so all that got done that day was regular service stuff, oil, lub, brakes checked. Went up town the next morning to get a new battery put in, drove the truck around for a day or two, then it would crank right. Had to do all the walking thing over again on the following Friday to have the starter replaced, so now it cranks like it's suppose to. I kinda think the starter went bad and took the old battery with it, would have had to replace the battery soon anyway. It's a hassle to have a vehicle worked on, especially when it's your only one, and you cant go anywhere till it's fixed. But it is nice to have a neighborhood mechanic and be able to walk there and back.
The company I did some programming work for earlier this year called couple of weeks ago, they, actually the owner, decided to do a website. So I've spent a few hours putting their webpages together, it's mostly done and just have to upload the files. I already got their computer set up for accessing the Internet Service Provider. Should be finished with that project tomorrow.
Ok, that's all for now folks, see you next time around.
Friday Sep 4, 1998
9:50 AM
Hi again. I've lost track of when the last posting was, probably a month ago by now. I've been having some bad motivation days, no ambition to do much of anything again. I hate those days, "wasted days and wasted nights" as the song goes. Some days I spend 20 hours in my living space: den and bathroom, the kitchen too but just because I have to walk through it to get to the den.
The business website is finished and uploaded, so that job is over with.
I have started a new section to my website, A Tour of Pickens County. It's going to be another long process getting it done, have to write up the text part to go with the pictures and make some new pictures too. So check back occassionally to see how it's progressing.
One of the other things I've started is to collect and document what and where different businesses have been in Pickens Town. It's something I've thought about doing for a long time because ever now and then the subject of "where was such and such store" on Main Street comes up.
Oh man, there's just so many things I've wanted to do but cant make myself do them. Should be advertising for work but it's the same ole feeling of "why try, nothing I ever do works out."
What's new with the website: Pickens County Tour, Journal entries for August 3 thru September 4, no memories added to other parts of Journal.
Thursday Sep 10, 1998
8:20 AM
"Wasted Days and Wasted Nights ...." Same ole song, 1000th verse it seems like. I've been spending too much time in the web again, mostly just wandering from one site to another. It still takes forever for some of them to download. Found this one: http://terraserver.microsoft.com/, it's an image database for satellite pictures of the Earth, check it out to see if your backyard is in it.
Last week I got started on the Tour of Pickens County section, then I just quit again on the weekend. I went out to make some pictures of Eastatoe Valley then too. Yesterday I finally made myself write up the Eastatoe Valley page of the Tour. It's hard to find stuff to write about the different places, it's hard to think of stuff to write too. Anyway, maybe I'll get some more done today.
I guess the friends in Yahoo Religion Room think I've died, havent been there in a week. "Hey everyone from Religion Room!", in case some of you stop by to read this. I get like this sometimes, just drop out of site for weeks and months, it's the same ole problem, cant get nothing going my way so I just quit trying. I gotta start looking harder for work but I want to do a trip before that, maybe go to the coast havent been there in five years I guess. Anyway, I think about all you people from Religion Room chat even though I'm not there anymore.
Havent done anymore on the businesses in Pickens Town project. Cant decide how to do the street and building maps yet. And finding out about the old businesses means spending time in the library looking through old Pickens Sentinells and I dont want to spend time in another room. I need to get outside and do stuff.
That's something else too, getting outside, it's been too hot to do that and yesterday it's turned cool. So maybe I'll will get out more now and that'll help my ambition some.
What's new with the website: added Eastatoe Valley to Pickens County Tour and entry in the Journal.
Sunday Sep 20, 1998
8:00 AM
Well, let me think a bit... went to the Heritage Day Festival over at Hagood Mill yesterday, it was a nice crowd. I just walked around and sat around for a while the first time I went after lunch. Then I decided to go back home and get my camera and make some pictures. Did that the later part of the afternoon. Then I sat around some more and listen to the musicians, they were mostly country and folk artists. But there was one group, Jackson Brothers from Easley, a Black Gospel group, they were good to listen to while sitting under the shade trees. Anyway, left again to come back home and moved the pictures from camera to website, so the Heritage Day was covered on the internet while it was still going on. They have a storyteller time around a bonfire during the evening every year, I went back to it too. That was really good too.
Mom's sister called on Monday and wanted me to give her a ride up to visit her. So I did that Tuesday, drove Mom's car down to her home, picked her up and drove back. She called their sister-in-laws and they had a get-to-gather one day, which they enjoyed, they seldom visit like that anymore, seems like nobody does visiting anymore. Mom was washing off the porch Thursday and fell, but she didnt get hurt too bad.
One day last week I rode around Oolenoy Valley making pictures for that part of the Pickens County Tour section. There's not as many things to take pictures of there as I thought, it's mostly just old homes and fields and the road through the valley. I couldn't think of much to write about it either and to find something old to write about I'll have to go to the library and look through the old Sentinels and I dont want to sit down there for that again like I did when doing the geneology thing. I did go down there once to look something up in some books about Oolenoy and Eastatoe. Found them and went over to the copier but it was broken, another wasted trip. I did stop back by there when I went to get Mom's sister and made copys then. It always seems to take me 3 or 4 trys to get some simple thing done. And then it doesnt workout like I planned sometimes.
I've been spending way too much time in these chatrooms again. Not Yahoo's religion room but other's, mostly livecams with chat. That's an interesting phenomenam, watching people live their lives on the web, reading what the other watchers have to say. It's too much like a real community, especially for loner and recluse and hermit types like me, our only social contact with others is over the internet now. It's the main reason I dont try to get anything else done.
This Starr - Clinton - Monica - etal ad nausea thing is down right spooky now, maybe it's always been that, spooky Washington politics. I started one of the Letter to the Editor things the other day but got tired of it because I knew it would be ignored just like all the others I use to do. It's been 6 or 7 years since I wrote one of them type letters. I was going to jump all over the news media for what they've done to society, it's mostly their doing along with the politics too. They focus the people's attention on this scandal to the exclusion of most everything else. The embassy bombings in Africa, wonder if anyone remembers them, got about 10 days of coverage. The S-C-M has gotten months and years of coverage. Individally and personally the people one talks with seem to be so sick of the whole mess, yet it stills gets more and more coverage. The spooky part about it is that the news media truly believes it an important thing to report on and too many people believe it worth continued attention. It's sad. In the chat rooms the people from other parts of the world laugh at the Americans because of their apparant obssesion with political sex scandals.
Oh hell, enough of that, nothing I can do about it anyway. Besides, nobody listens to a nobody like me anyway.
What's new with the website: Pickens County Tour Section, wrote up the Eastatoe part, it's hard to think of things to write to go with the pictures; added Oolenoy Valley pictures and writeup, I still got to write some more for it; Pickens County Heritage Day was yesterday, made some pictures and posted them here too.
Tuesday Sep 29, 1998
9:50 AM
Sunday afternoon I drove down to Clemson Library, thought I give that place a try at finding more about the Cherokee stories for the Picken County Tour section. I drove through the campus looking for a parking place and ended up at the lot on the far side of the Civil - Archecture building. As I drove up the drive to the lot I realized that 30 years ago I was there for my last Fall semester at Clemson. That seems and feels so unreal, thirty years and I've still not accomplished much of anything. I even looked toward the middle of the lot and tried visualizing me sitting in the old green Volkswagon Beetle with my textbooks and eating a sandwich like I use too. I remembered thinking back then about the 1990's, they seemed so distant in the future. Those were the space program years back then and there was talk about all the furture Lunar colonys and Mars exploration. Maybe my life isnt the only thing that turned out to be a failure.
Didnt find much new about the Cherokee stories. I did get to hold and look through a 150 year old book though. I sat in the bottom level, the one 2 floors underground where I sneeked into once before it was ever opened, and looked through that ancient book. It was a South Carolina History by William Gilmore Simms published in 1848 out of Charleston.
I've been looking for the old pictures of Pickens Town. Found some in the Pickens High Yearbooks and the ones they have at the Pickens County Library. I took my digital camera down there one day and made pictures of pictures. Part of all this is to identify the old businesses up town, that project isnt progressing much either. It doesnt matter though, at least I got digital pictures of some of the old stuff now.
What's new with the website: changed the enterance to go directly to the MainRoom; this Journal entry; Rememberances book 2 part 6; Pickens County Tour, Town Section.
Tuesday Oct 20, 1998
6:25 AM
I got messed up again, hanging around chat rooms, it's become an addiction I think, or else it's a substitute for real life contacts. Then I started on the Pickens County Tour section again.
I went up town to make some pictures for the website and that kinda lead toward remembering what businsesses were in which buildings and other town history. That lead to going down to the county library in Easley and scrolling through all that microfilm of old Pickens Sentinels. And that's what I've been doing for a couple of weeks now. Researching the business history of the hometown.
Geesh, I just read the last entry, it's been almost a month now since I started collecting the old town pictures.
It's such a tedious process. I have to sit there and slowly work my way through one roll of film to the next, glancing at the topics, looking for clues about where what was and when, scribble some notes, come home and type up the notes, then use the -find- feature to group the clues to one business or another.
I've also drawn some maps of the town, went though three or four versions of them, now they're on 24x20 sketch paper, the town streets and small retriangles and squares where buildings are and were. I've got the blocks numbered and the building sites numbered, now if I can just get the clues lined up to show me were things were and when. All the clues are relative, Hall's 5 & 10 Cent Store was next to Katz Dry Goods in building formerly occuppied by T D Jones' 5, 10, 25 Cent Store. But where were Katz and Jones' place? Geesh.
I've already got about 175 businesses and most of them are from the 1920's to 1940's. There must have been a thousand businesses in this small town since 1868.
Oh well enough of that.
One thing I've become more aware of recently, it's related to doing all the remembering about the old times. I guess it actually started with the Rememberances I did in Book 2 Part 6, about the old home on Farr's Bridge road. I've begun to get these sharp twinges in my head when I remember some of the old things, like "that was 40 years ago, oh WOW!!!" Then there's the ouch, "I'm so old now."
And then there's these other people I read about in the old Sentinels, 60 and 70 year life spans some 60 and 70 years ago, they saw all the changes in Pickens. Then there's me. What have I seen and done? What record of my existence will there be? Any or none?
I've let my house get all cluttered up again. It's been nothing but internet chat, microfilm reading at the library, check on Mom, watch some television and sleep. Then do it all over again the next day. I really need to do some serious house cleaning, tossing and burning again I suppose. I did get the kitchen cleaned out the other day, at least the trash quarter of the room is empty now.
Oh yeah. Saturday I got a letter from the South Carolina Criminal Justice Hall of Fame. It's about the genealogy thing I did in 1993 when I found out about a great-granduncle who was a town marshal down in Easley and got killed in 1892; and my brother Joel who died too while a sheriff's deputy. They want more information about Joel and his career so I'll have to work on that too now. There's a new director of the Hall of Fame and she was reviewing their records and found it interesting that there's been two officers who died on the job. She may do a special exhibit about them.
Well enough of this, got to try and make myself do some work on the town business project.
Thursday Nov 19, 1998
7:30 pm
Well it hasnt been hanging in chat rooms that's been keeping me from updating my journal, got my mind set on this history of businesses in Pickens now. It interesting how my mind does what it does, goes from insanely bored with depression of not doing anything constructive, like find a paying job, to insanely obsessed with some project that wont produce any income or any real notice of me.
It's been much the same, going down to the library, scrolling through the old Sentinel on micro film, writing some note about one business or another, collecting bits and pieces of the puzzle that has to be put together.
I have spent the last couple of weeks, or three, writing computer code too. I've got a start on a program to search for key words and names in all the notes and lists I've collected. Something to help put the puzzle together with, that's what it is. It's even got a site map, graphics, to show where the different building and business site are and were. That part was a pain to do, measuring and scaling coordinates off an arieal photo of Pickens, entering them into a file, then getting the program to plot them like it should.
Anyway, enough of the program is working now so that I should be able to spend more time putting the puzzle pieces together. Provided, that is, that I can keep from trying to improve and add features to the program.
New subject. I came close to taking this website down one night last week. Or was it the first of this week? I've noticed that fewer and fewer people stop by to visit, it's back down to one every two days, maybe one a day. Shortly after I linked up with Open Pages ring I got 4 or 5 hits a day, but that's faded into the past now. I actually thought someone's been screwing with the counter. But that's me, paranoidal of those snipes, snoops, sneaks and spooks out to silence me into deeper banishment.
But then I noticed every three or four days someone downloads the whole site. Wow! What do they do with it? What's so interesting about my words and thoughts? About my depressingly boring life? Are they ripping off my words to pass as their own? Oh blah, blah, blah there's my screwed up mind at it again. Yet it is cause for wondering, downloading my whole site, wow!
And then there's the email thing, like no one ever writes me anymore. The couple or three that I use to write regularly dont respond anymore. It's another cause for wondering about the snipes, snoops, sneaks and spooks again, just like those types to intercept my email, except for the junk and spam. Like why dont the ones who download the site take time to drop a line saying they thought it worth downloading? Oh well, more blah, blah, blah stuff.
Personal stuff. Two nights ago, when the meteor shower was suppose to be good, I went out a couple of times to look and watch, it was even clear for a change when something like that happens. Didn't see anything, so I went on to bed. Woke up about three hours later at 1:30, went to the bathroom to pee, then laid back down. But I couldn't go to sleep while thinking about going outside for another look. I did... didn't see anything again either.
So I watched some late night television, checked out some chat and cam sites on the net, made coffee and drank coffee and smoked cigs. Then I started in on writing more code for the business history project. I wrote, I tested, I re-wrote, I added, I deleted, I re-tested ... . Drank more coffee and smoked more cigs. Worked like that till noon, then I bathed, washed my hair, shaved and laid down for a nap. Felt bad the rest of the day too, it was like started the morning all over again in the afternoon.
Last night I went to bed at 9:30 and woke up at 7:00, so I've caught back up on my sleep now.
One day a couple of weeks ago, ha, "couple of", that's Southernese for some few of something-or-nother, not neccessarily just two, I raked up some leaves from the east end of the house. Then I burned them, along with some trash I've been tossing over in a pile. It started drizzling rain so I let the ashing burn over night. Now it's time to rake up more leaves already, but I dont, it's my current obsession with the business history project.
The house still needs lots of cleaning out too, but I dont do that either, for the same reason too.
Oh well, that's all for now. .... Who are those peoople downloading the site and why dont anyone ever write? ... Oh hell {a thought just happened} ... maybe no one's doing that, could be one of them search engines visiting every page.
Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye ...
Sunday Nov 22, 1998
8:15 pm
Started cleaning house this afternoon.
Monday Nov 23, 1998
10:00 pm
More house cleaning inside for part of the morning. Raked and burned leaves, cut down some sapplings around front of house, about 6 hours of work outside.
Tuesday Nov 24, 1998
9:30 pm
Woke up early, about 2:30, sat around, watched early morning news, did some internet, started boxing up books and making a list of book box contents.
Wednesday Nov 25, 1998
11:30 pm
More book boxing all day and evening, found a box of 1960s space program stuff, old textbooks from high school and college, repacked Scientific American magazines.
Tally: about 610 books, Sci Am 220 issues form Jun 1975 to May 1980 and Mar 198 to Dec 1998, Life Mags 5 boxes from 1960s thru mid 1980s, Nat Geo 1949 thru 1995 about 95% complete.
Thursday Nov 26, 1998
10:25 am
Walked through house looking at progress this morning, boxes everywhere, my life is getting packed up and put away and tossed out and burned. Went down to the creek to wash clothes, missed washing them last Saturday.
Wednesday Dec 2, 1998
7:25 am
At least the book boxing is done, most of them anyway, still got the Encyclopaedia Brittainicas out on shelves and some English dictionaries and other word books.
The last 6 days have been boxing up life's collection of items and such, objects with some memory, or forgotten memory, attached to them. There's 35 boxes of them kind of things. Yep, my life is getting boxed up and put away.
Was suppose to be cleaning out my life in this process, yet there's always some item that I just cant toss and burn, no matter how useless it has become. It's easier to toss something 5 years old than something 20 plus years old. Why is that?
Brother Robert called one night, Monday I think. It's always nice to talk with him and I should call him more too. Told him about all the boxing and tossing and cleaning out my life. And about some of the really old items I've still got, he laughed about the Life magazines from the 1960s. Yeah, I've been a pack rat, but not as bad as it could have been, over the years I've tossed as much or more than I've still got.
Mom had some work done on the pink bathroom, finally got the toilet and bathtub faucets fixed. The toilet's been leaking for years and nothing I ever did worked to stop it. Even my attempt to fix the faucets failed, like everything else I've ever tried to do. So, like always, have to pay someone to fix the things normal people can do for themseleves. Of course it doesnt end there. Now my kitchen faucet is leaking again and has gotten worse. Most people get to replace the washers and that's that. But not me, I do that and it still leaks, so I'll have to pay someone to do what normal people get to do for themselves.
My life is such a joke, a predictable, sad joke too. The key for the truck is worn thin so I thought I'd have a new copy made. I did. It doesn't work either. The truck has gotten to where it doesn't start when the key is turned, just a small click sometimes. I thought the new key would fix that. So now I'll have to more work done on the truck in the future too.
Oh well, I've got to finish up this house and life cleaning things, just a few more boxes to go. Then I'll clean the house up from all the house cleaning, then it'll be done for another decade or so. Man, I wonder if I'll ever get the courage to move everything out back and strike a match to it all? I did think about having a hole dug back up in the woods, a bunker type thing, and just bury it all for some future archealogist to dig back up.
Tuesday Dec 15, 1998
6:35 am
Finished, or is it just quit, doing the boxing up thing about December 8th. Got just about everything put away now, so I'm ready to be put away now too. Then I spent a couple of days trying to get back into doing the Pickens Business History state of mind. I really think I did the house and life cleaning out just to get away from that project. It's so furstrating to piece the puzzle together, there's always something else to look up so I can get a couple of pieces to fit together. I have done some more deed conveyences these last couple of days, how anyone knows for sure that they own what they're suppose to own is beyond me, it's either an un-referenced former conveyence or just a plain dead end for most of them. And the conveyences seldom mention any building or business on the lot, so I can't really learn much about who was where and when. It's those huge estates of people who've accummulated a lot of land and then gets re-divided during probate that are worst, can't ever know what tract of land is what when that happens. Oh well. I still work on it though, still hoping I can get enough put together and maybe sell the database and software to present it. The weather is turning cooler and cold now, it's below freezing this morning. The truck is not running good either, well it never did but it's getting worst, guess it's the colder weather doing some of that, coughs and backfires when changing gears. It got to not starting again too, just a click and not cranking, thought it might be the ignition switch since the key and cylinder were so worn and loose, tried having a key made but they wouldnt work, tried having another key made but that didnt work either, so I took it over to the neighborhood mechanic to let him work on it, had the switch replaced, then found out the starter had a dead spot in it, that's the new starter from the July repair job, nothing ever goes my way, always having to everything 2 and 3 times over, so now the truck will start, it just dont want to run good. There's a snake up in the attic of Mom's house, she found a skin earlier this year and I thought about getting up there and screen off the open space around the chimney this Summer when it would have been too hot for it to be up there, but I didn't and now it's back, I found pieces of a new skin yesterday and it's a bigger snake now too, but I think it's a black snake, I mentioned having someone come in to get rid of it but Mom said that's something we'll have to do, everything (not just this snake thing) I suggest gets rejected, it's like I'm always wrong or don't ever let do anything Jerry's way, so now I have to figure out what to do about the snake up in the attic now, it's always something that keeps me from pursuing the things I want to do without any interruptions and clear mind. Ok, this is enough of bitching and gripping and moaning, you know, it's the same ole song with me, just the upteenth billionth verse.
Tuesday Dec 22, 1998
6:40 am
Post Winter Solistice, the end of the year days are here again. I use to make special effort to make Journal entries on special ocassions, try to go to a special place like Whitewater Falls or Whiteside Mountain, just to write in one of my notebooks. But that was a long time ago, I dont make special effort to do anything special anymore.
Just emptied a bucket of water from the leaking kitchen faucet, yeah it's still leaking and I haven't done anything to fix it, well yes I have, it's just that what I do to fix things never seem to work, you know. Anyway, it's 60 degrees outside and drizzling rain, yep, 60 degrees on a Winter morning, but that's going to be the high for today, suppose to be in the 30s by late afternoon. Probably get some freezing rain and snow, make driving around and getting stuck or wreaked a worrisome worry. Man, I've gotten to where I hate cold weather and snow and being without electricity and heat.
Drip drip drip splash splash splash goes the faucet.
Business history of Pickens project, nothing much new, just not working on it much now. Been doing history of Meece's Mill, mostly deed records trying to find who owned the mill site and when, but before 1870s there no hard connection with the ownerships, just guess work. Have found a few (3 or 4) articles about the mill, and I guess that'll be all I can put together for that project. Did start to write up what I've found, but it's gotten more difficult to concentrate on writing, it's that doubt of whether or not I've got all the facts and connection right.
Doubt doubt doubt drip drip drip splash splash splash.
That $250 plumbing repair job at Mom's house lasted two weeks. The toilet tank over flowed through the handle hole, the float valve got stuck in the on position, one of those $125 worth of parts those people charged for. That was about Thursday or Friday of last week, I could have replaced it by now too, but Mom seems to want to let the plumbing people fix it so I called them Saturday, they haven't been there yet. It's always so frustrating, can't trust professionals to do the job right or use reliable parts, trying to figure out what and how Mom wants things done, doubting if I try to fix it it wont get fixed like my own leaking faucet.
Drip drip drip splash splash splash doubt doubt doubt frustration frustration frustration, I just want to scream and shout I dont care anymore I dont care anymore. Oh wait... I already do that.
While doing my history research projects {I dont live in the present anymore only the past}, I read the old Pickens Sentinels, I look up and read the old conveyences of property, I hold in my hands probate records decades and hundred plus year old, and I wonder about all the names, mostly the not so well known names. Then there's this thought, a hundred years hence will anyone being searching the old records and wonder, know, or care who Jerry Wayne Hughes was?
Friday Dec 25, 1998
6:30 am
Forty-nineth.... My forty-nineth Christmas Morning it is. Born in nineteen forty-nine and it's my forty-nineth year.
Yesterday I got to thinking about the Christmas Holidays, I've always been home for Christmas, all forty-nine of them. Well, there may have been a couple we weren't at home home, I think there were times we got together at Joel and Jackie's home in Washington DC, but we were together, some of us anyway, at least I was always with my parents on Christmas Day.
I know it's traditional to think that is the way it's suppose to be, family getting together on these Holidays. But, I've never experienced the other side of tradition. I've never been on my own, with just friends, or just alone somewhere far from home during the Holidays. And I've wondered what that would be like too. I've done lots of wondering about that and things like that, being alone in the world for a change.
So here it is, my forty-nineth Christmas Morning. The old homeplace is about five miles south of souteast from here, it's falling down now, the side-backyard was dug up years ago, the backyard where the old pipe swing that Dad made for us boys once stood, the backyard where I walked on top of frozen snow once was. The house will be gone one of these years too, there were a dozen Christmas Mornings in that house for me.
So what would the other side of tradition been like? Remembering Christmas and Thanksgiving in different places on different years with different friends. It would have been just that, different. I've spent New Years and Halloween and other Holidays alone or with friends, mostly during the navy years. So it would have been like that I suppose, but not quite. Christmas and Thanksgiving are more *family* type things, so it would have been more different.
Oh well.
I've got to go out and get the truck warmed up, I'm already late about making the trip back home to Mom's house.
11:30 am
My mistake, it's the fiftith Christmas for me, yep fifty, forgot to add one in for that first one before my first birthday.
I've been to Mom's and we had our usual eggs and sausage cooked together and opened the presents. I drove by the old homeplace, drove by real slow like too, it's kinda strange to sit there in the truck and look at that house and realize fifty years ago I was the new baby in there. Drove on up to the top of Glassy Mountain too, there's ice in the trees up there, got out and walked around the circle and tower, looking at the ice covered trees and brushes. Then I drove back by the old homeplace again, stopped and looked and thought ....
Then I came here to make this entry in the Journal. Bye again till next time.
Wednesday Dec 30, 1998
6:50 am
'Twixt & 'Tween Days 1998
It's those 'twixt and 'tween days again,
Those days neither the end of one year,
Nor the beginning of the next year,
Limbo time in the mind.
It's my fiftith time spent here,
It's mystic, misty mind times,
It's pause and reflection times,
It's things done,
It's things not done,
It's things mostly left un-done.
There's only six days and seven nights,
Like one of them vacation trips,
But not,
There's no vacation from the mind,
Ever present, ever active,
Always thinking,
Always questioning.
'twixt and 'tween days,
Where are they slipping away too?
Neither to last year nor to the next,
Neither to the years before,
Nor to the years after,
It's the ever present slipping by,
Of things done, not done,
Or left un-done.
'Twixt and 'Tween days,
Not seemingly belonging,
To any year or time,
T'is such the same,
'Twixt and 'Tween,
Birth and Death.
Well, so much for last entry for this year... or is it first entry for the next year?