Monday Aug 30, 1999
8:00p
I'll get around to it, working on something else now.
Thursday Sep 2, 1999
5:20a
It's been another few days of doing a little of this a little of that and not much really getting done. Made a expedition down the road to the big village store for supplies. That took 3 hours. Then even a short run up to the nearest village takes an hour. Lunch at Mom's takes 1 1/2 hours. Then it's do some computer work which takes a couple of hours just to get in the right mindset. And then it's time to change mindset into parttime, teenage, pizza cook for the evening. It's all a little of this a little of that and a little of nothing gets done.
There's another problem too, or maybe the same ole problem, I get sidetracked into doing stuff that wasnt really planned. Like there'll be a computer glitch, or just something I thought of doing months ago, and I gotta do it right now. I've come to believe it has something to do with clearing the mind. I let things go undone for so long, I know I'm letting it slide behind, then I do it just so I won't have to think about not doing it anymore.
The weather's changing into the Fall, school year type of feeling now. Winter cometh. Six months till Spring thaweth. Ha, always my mind never in the present, it's either past or future, never where I'm at now.
Well, I got a bunch of this and that to do. Maybe I'll get my mind cleared and emptied today. Oh wait ... everyone knows I got nothing up there now.
Friday Sep 3, 1999
6:50a
Ok, emailing done, now for a Journal entry.
Or maybe not, if I cant think of anything to write. ... Yesterday afternoon I went down to DM and Mick's, their family is doing ok. ... Uncle Bob is going have a memorial brick for the new monument at the courthouse, going have his name along with Elbert's, DM's and Leander's on it. ... Learned one of the lady's that worked at Garren's Cafe was killed in a house fire last Thursday. ... Did a search through my Pickens Business History files for one of the store owner's this week, Biven's Hardware and the adjacents buildings, took that up to him on Saturday. ... Been doing stuff other than the wind and seismic project, I really need to finish that and move on, bro's probably given up on me about doing that. ... Well, my mind is drifting away now, guess I might as well get on with something else. Later.
Oh yeah, now I remember something. Some time about '84 or '85 when I use to wear boots a scorpion had crawled all the way up the outside and into one of them. Yep, I stuck my foot in there and felt it and never what it probably was. I tried pulling my foot back out quickly but the little thing stung me anyway. That was when I started banging my boots and shoes on the floor and shaking them upside down. There's be several times I would forget and just put them on. I cant remember now if I every found another one in my shoes. Seems like their may have been once. Well, ... you guessed it, banged and shaked one out this morning. Scared me anyway. Took me 15 year to find that mean, bad, little, stinging insect.
... from the Summer of 1971, ... and Chuck commented, "Every man needs their own personal cheerleader to cheer them on through life." ... Yeah, sure, like I ever had one or ever will have one.
Saturday Sep 4, 1999
2:10p
Saturday morning clothes washing rititual next to creek (Checked done). Trimming around Mom's house {Checked done). Hauling off shrubrey trimmings (Checked done). Dumping trimmings beside driveway next to campfire ring (Checked done). Bathing and hair washing (Checked done). So much for this Saturday.
Jerry races off down high school football field toward the goal. Quaterback throws a really long spiraling ball. Jerry looks over shoulder as he runs for the ball, gets to the endzone. Jerry hears, "Give me a J, give me an E, give me a R, ... What have you got, Jerry, if he cant do it nobody can." He looks up into the stands to see who's giving the cheer, thinks, "Wow! I got a personal cheerleader." Jerry gets bonked in the head by the ball. The crowd boos and hisses. Jerry just stands there looking for the girl. "Wow! I got a personal cheerleader. Ahhhh geeeee."
I left Mom's yesterday after lunch, just like always. As I was driving down the short stretch of highway to where you turn onto Gravely Road I decided to go for a ride. Ended up going out Midway Road, up through Hidden Valley and into Oolonoey Valley, then out to Carrick Creek road up to Highway 11. I sat in front of Table Rock Mountain like I do sometimes and look at the rock. Watch the cars go by too. I left there and drove west on 11, when I got to the State Park enterence I decided to check out the new visitor center there. It opened sometime this Summer. It's a log building type structure, got a nice porch to look out over the lake and the mountains. Got lots of old pictures, artifacts and stuff too.
Over on the wall next to the doors there's a big rack of tourist phamplets and brouchers. I saw one with Hagood Mill on it and picked it out to look through. The first couple of paragraphs it tells about the history of the mill. I recognized it right off. The Pickens County Historical Commission used some of my findings from the work I did for them back in the Spring. So I'm standing there looking and reading, thinking, "Hey, I know who they got that information from." Ha, wonder if that qualifies me as a published author now? Nah, it was a work for hire, it's theirs. But it was still kinda satisfying to know I helped put that bit of mill history in that phamplet.
Sunday Sep 5, 1999
3:10p
Got up at 4:15 this morning. Made coffee and sat around looking at the news websites. Washed hair, shaved. Got flashlight, it was still dark, walked to the truck. Went down to the plaza by the creek to get the paper. Went up to the biscuit place. It's still dark. Thought about going up to Glassy, so I did. So I went the old Railroad Street way. Havent been up there before dawn in I dont know how long. A year or two. Parked by the county tower this time, sat there and ate one of my biscuits and looked at the stars, lights, clouds. Venus was really bright. Then I drove back around to the usual parking place under the tree. Got out and walked around a bit while eating the other biscuit. Watched the 6:00 flight out of GSP go by headed to ATL. Then I drove home.
That was the high point of the day. Havent accomplished much of anything. While over at Mom's for Sunday lunch, I tried to fix a broken drap cord. Bought the cord a few days ago but never took time to work on it. It didnt do any good anyway. Couldnt figure out how to thread the cord around the pullies and tie them off. What I tried would only open them or close them, one time even. So I gave up.
Well that's all. Time to go play pizza dude.
Wednesday Sep 8, 1999
6:50p
Mindspring wont let me connect tonight. It wouldnt connect with other websites late this afternoon either. That's when I checked their system status, there were some troubles with passwords and something. That's the message I got when trying to connect now, cannt verfiy my password. So I guess it's all down now.
Spent most of the day, well, all day really, doing some more work on one of the house plans. I'm still getting some answers that are too high and cant find out why. Well maybe not, I could change the way I'm doing things and just use the longer wall sections. But I'm tried of that now and not going to write any more about it.
Last night I went looking through one of my book boxes for something to read while waiting to get sleepy. It's the Hobbit book, again. I must have read that one a zillion times, plus the time the 5th grade teacher read it to us in class after lunch. I'm still sure it was the same book. I made that connection when I read it while doing to Clemson, '67 or '68. Then I read it again during the Med Cruise in '75 and a couple of times since then. So it's only 5 or so times instead of a zillion. But I guess it doesnt make much diff, I read just to "put in the time" as Huck would say. It's not that I ever remember much about what I read this days anyway, so it's just putting in the time.
Last Saturday when I went to do the clothes, Phil was there at the laundry place by the creek. We talked some about this and that mostly. He said he had something a week ago, started with a sore throat and lasted a day. I think I had that Sunday and Monday. I thought it was because of all the dust and dirt I stirred up when doing the trimming around Mom's house. Maybe it was that too. So I didnt feel to well two days this week.
I've been thinking about starting something in the RTF section. Maybe I should be working on that now. So I will.
Thursday Sep 9, 1999
8:15p
Ok, so today's entry turned into a short-short story, so I put it there in that section of the website. Or is it here?
Friday Sep 10, 1999
5:45a
Looks like MindSpring aint going let me go to my morning websites, again. Or else it's the SSSS bugging me again. I really dont understand why. They let you connect up to their system, then you cant go any farther. Yesterday morning was ok, after the same problem Wednesday, thought they had it fixed. Actually it was fixed late that evening, cause I tried it one more time before going to bed. That was when I saw the send/recieve indicator show lots of activitity. The computer received 20K+ bytes when I dialed into their system. So maybe theirs more pests in my system now. I dont know.
Earlier this week I sent out some email. Learned that a couple didnt receive it, just some spam, but after they read the spam then deleted it, my message did show up. But anyway, all that's the same ole story, what will be will be, I guess. Nothing I can do about it.
Probably should make use of the "can't get on internet" time and do something constructive, or productive, or something else. It all ends up being just "putting in the time" anyway.
Later.
Saturday Sep 11, 1999
5:40a
MindSpring is having connectivity problems in SC now, at least it's on their network status page now. I guess that makes it official even though I've been having connectivity problems for a week. I saw where they've had similiar problems elsewhere, and one of my bros mentioned in an email that his server was having problems too. Guess there's something going around and it'll make the news later.
I've been writing stuff the last couple of days, yesterday anyway. I'm back to composing my thoughts about some things and added to the website. I really dont know where it will go. One thing for sure, it aint going toward finishing some of the other stuff I need to be doing.
This morning after I woke up and went to the bathroom to empty the old bladder I laid back down to relax. The thoughts of what is in my future came back, they do that more often now.
It's really spooky wondering what the end of life is going be like. Get sick and run up health cost debt, no way to pay for any of it. Get old with no retirement place to go to, end up out on the country roads of Pickens County. There's hasnt been an "poor house" or "poor farm" since the 1950s I guess. I forgot when they closed the county one. But I guess by the time it's my turn, they'll be millions of us out there. Lots of people who ran out of money and resouces before they ran out of life. And I suppose the rich-rich types may be out on the streets too, if society collapses. They depend on multitudes of consumers for their income. If the multiudes don't have money to spend they don't have money to spend either.
But enough of that. I'm really just rambling 'cause I can't get to the regular morning websites. Not that there's many left, everything is the same as it was the day before and the day before and the day before ....
I'll just quit now. Go do the morning grooming ritual and the Saturday clothes washing ritual down by the creek.
Sunday Sep 12, 1999
3:10p
All doors are closed. All exits are blocked. There is no way out. Dusk is leading to darkness. No flint remains to spark the way. No sounding stones to echo the chambers. Contacts terminated. Connections broken. Links lost. All doors are closed. All exits are blocked. There is no way out.
Tuesday Sep 14, 1999
8:15a
Yesterday afternoon, about 2:30 o'clock, I got up from my after lunch comatose state, it's still right at 60 minutes duration by the way, and walked into the kitchen, looked out the door window. There stood two horses, one black one white. They were at the corner of the porch next to the rock wall, one above it, one below it. I stood there and looked, they stood there and looked. Eventually they left to go back around to the front and down the path to the mailbox. But they turned and came back up to the west side of the house and then across the neighbor's yard. That was the last I saw of them, though I did hear the dogs barking up the road as they went that way.
Every year or couple of years, I seen cattle or horses out roaming around. I wonder what it means?
Early last week I finally figured out how to fix curtains so they will draw close and open. It was the usual problem, I try and make things more complicated than they need to be, there's 4 pulleys on those rods and I just had to use them all. And then there was the problem of getting each side to go in the opposite direction at the same time. But it was all really simple. Just use a pulley at each end and connect each drap to the opposite cord going across.
I went down to the big home supply store in Easley to find the cord I needed. Strange how I seldom find what I need in Pickens. Then on Sunday and Monday I fixed some of the curtains at Mom's house, one in the front bedroom, two in her room and the one in the den. Mom commented about wondering how long it had been since they were broken. Of course it's partly about how long it took me to finally try and fix them; that why try I can't get anything to work attitude.
Friday Sep 17, 1999
5:30a
Yesterday afternoon I went for another walkabout, it turned into one anyway, actually I drove up to Lake Jocassee just to sit around some, the air was clear and cool and I just wanted to see the lake and mountains. But ....
I've only been to Lake Keowee a couple of times this Summer, it's been staying right at full, maybe down a foot or two. Don't know when I was at Lake Jocassee last, probably about late Spring and it was still full up there too. I had thought that the mountains must be full of ground water and that was keeping the lakes full. It was all seaping out of the soil into the springs, streams, branches, creeks, rivers, ... wait there aren't but two rivers left up there, Big and Little Eastatoe.
I get up to Devil's Fork State Park and the big boat landing there. All around the lake there's a wide, whitish shoreline. It's really low up there, 10 to 15 feet I guess. The boat docks there have a long ramp out to them, it slopped downhill along the shore most of the way. The docks were still floating though. I walk out to the very end and bob up and down, it was windy too and there were a few whitecaps. Kinda made me think of the navy boats and sealegs again. I just stood there and looked all around. It was quite different from what I had expected. There weren't any boats there either, the car and trailer park was empty, but one did arrive before I left.
I drove from there over to the far landing, the one I usually go to. There were lots of leaves and branches on the road too, hurricane Floyd must have kicked up some wind the night before. I do remember hearing the wind that night. I make a loop down to the ramps just to see then back up to the car park on the ridge. I never liked parking on that steep hill, I keep thinking the brakes would give and end up with a truck in the lake.
I get parked and smoke a cig, take a couple of swigs of A&W root beer, then change into my walking sneakers. I had both my walking cane and staff, but I took the staff with me. I didn't go back to the ramp area, that's where I usually sit around. The lake was really low, easy walking along the shore, and I've never been around to the northwest part of that area. Something I've thought about doing off and on, but the woods and steep ridges into the lake are a hard walk. So that's what I did.
It's a climb down to that first cove, the one where people usually go, the more adventurous ones anyway. Rocks and almost cliff like, just a low cliff though. But I get down it. Some man, he drove up just as I got into the woods, came walking down a different way. Told him he must have known an easier way down. He was going fishing. He just kinda said yeah and takes off around the shoreline.
So off I go too, walking around the lake. It's fifty or sixty wide in some places, where the coves are. And the rocky parts are dry and easy to climb over, along with all the trees that have falling into the lake. Erosion is still bad on the steep sides of the ridges going down into the lake. It's been 25 years too since they filled the lake and still the erosion happens. Some of those cliffs are 50 feet high.
There's one really shallow cove that goes a good ways back into the woods, I go take a looksee. It looked like where one of the old logging roads may have been. I find a muskiedine vine and the grapes are ripe, so I stand there and eat a few, put some in my shirt pocket too. Then it's on around the lake.
I saw where some of the kids climbed up the cliffs and carved their names and intials in the red, sandy dirt. One made steps and hand holds too. Looked like they got about halfway up. Then it was more rocks, sandstones, sand and trees along the shore. I catch up to where the fishing man was, we made a bit of small talk as I went by, mostly about how low the lake was and he commented about you can almost watch it go down.
After another couple of coves there's a line of fallen trees to get through, or over. It's there I found the bones, way too big for a possum, raccoon, or even a fox. I think they're deer, probably a small one. It was mostly leg and a couple of vertibrae and a shoulder blade. Someone else probably already got the skull. I poke at them with my walking staff, draw a circle in the sand around them. Then move on.
I eventually get around to the fartherest point you can see from the boat ramps. It's mostly sandstone there but I could walk on it and I did. Stood around there for a while and looked up the Whitewater River part of the lake. There's another point of just a bit farther around, it's more rocky too. So I go there next.
I'm thinking about how to carry the bones back in the meanwhile and I should have brought a plastic bag along. But I quite doing that a long time ago, wasn't planning on walkabout much less picking up trash along the way. So I'm comming out of the cove before getting to the rocky point and there's a bag full of beer cans and other trash. It hadn't been out long, least not long enough to deterriate away, and it was dry too. I leave and go on out to the rocks.
I stand around, look around, sense around, twirl the walking staff around, tap it on the rocks, hold it out and overhead, think and ponder the native ways. I did the same back at the other point too.
The outlet of the Bad Creek project is visible. I study the lake and where the different rivers use to be, Whitewater, Thompson (Jocassee), Horsepasture, Toxaway. I think of the time uncle DM and I paddle my canoe up one of them. I thought we went up the Whitewater to where they had just started building, or was going to build. But I remember we crossed the widest part of the lake, I think, and we probably went up Thompson. But now I really can't remember, that one would have been a really long paddle.
I spend more time fooling around on that point. Looking up and down the lake, studying the terrain. Thinking I've never been here before. I can see the cut above the parking area at Whitewater Falls. Can't see the falls but can make out about where they're suppose to be. I can see the higher ridge above and west of the falls, part of the Foothills trail follows it. I did to once years ago. But I see I never went as far as I thought I did. There's a flat area long the trail, seems like there was a cabin of sorts there. I remeber going on till the trail started downhill and that's where I turned back. From here on the lake though, that looked like a much long walk than I remember it.
I climb on around the rocks, boulders into the next cove. That's as far as I got, the other side of the cove was all rocks and steep. Probably could have gone on, but I had the trip back to make too and it was past mid afternoon already. I picked up a stone for a keeper, where there was a small spring like branch of water running into the lake. Turned around and made my way back to the rocky point. Noticed the park boundary sign nailed to a tree up at the highwater level, there was a flat run along there too, maybe an old road, maybe just where they had a road when clearing out the trees for the lake.
I fool around among the boulders on the point some more. Tap the walking staff on the rocks trying to make a good, echoing sound ... trying to summon the native spirits for company. Then it's move on back the way I came.
I pick up the bag of trash and find another bag inside, that's cool, just what I needed for the bones. I get back to the sandstone point and stand around there some more. I leave there and get to the sandy part about a hundred steps and think, I've got to do more. I go back and pile up rocks on that point, just a couple dozen or so, about 18 inches high, something just to mark my place in space-time. How long have we been stacking stones to mark our place ins space-time? A few 100,000 years?
I leave again and get back to the line of fallen trees and the bones. I gather them up and put them in the plastic bag, now I'm carrying two bags, one trash and the other one with the bones. I draw lines in the sand where they were, to see if any more are buried there. They weren't any. So I move on.
It's somewhere about half way back that I realize I left my keeper stone back where I built the stack of rocks. Too late and to far to go get. Oh well.
There's not much else left. The fishing man is still there. We talk a bit, mostly about how nice it is out here. I told him the story about fishermen up in the Northwest, the one Daniel told. About how the men out there buy all the fishing gear, waders and such, not to fish, but to not look so stupid just standing in the rivers, just to be standing in the wild rivers.
I get back to the truck. Rest a bit, drive down to the ramps and walk down them to the lake edge. It's really low. It may have been lower during the 80's drought, seems like the ends of the ramps were out of the water then, but not now, it still had about 2 feet to go. I leave and drive back home.
This has been another journal-entry-story hasn't it.
Sunday Sep 19, 1999
2:30p
It seems I go from writting short story entries to having nothing much to talk about.
The Pickens County Heritage Day Festival was yesterday and I spent most of the day there. A couple of hours in the morning and then 3 hours that afternoon. I didn't go back for the evening story telling. It was about as crowded as last year, maybe not as many booths where people sold stuff. They had more demostration of pioneer ways though.
Tom Manche was there this year. He's Rudy Manche's brother. But who's Rudy? He's the Naturalist on SCETV's Nature Scene show. Tom had lots of small stuff spread, actually scattered, on a couple of blankets under a tree by the creek. He talked and demonstrated how the people use to do things, simple things, like making fire and cutting tools and stuff like that.
Sometime during the afternoon I wandered back by there to watch. They were about 6 kids there too, young kids not more than ten I guess. He had them fasinated and attentive to what he was doing. One of the boys was with the Civil War hospital next door. He was dressed in one of the grey uniforms. They were observing and asking questions too. Smart questions. It all got me to thinking how that's exactly what needs to be taught in all the schools. Survival skills. For when society collapses during the next generation or two.
Of course they was an attentive adult or two standing around too. Amazing lecture skills to hold both young and old alike.
Among the other things going on was the usual singing and music. Then there were the blacksmithing, black kettle cooking, '30s truck and clothes washing, pioneer woodcarving, log sawing and wood lathing, apple press and printing press, rifles and pistols, spinning and basket weaving. Probably other stuff too I've already forgotten about. Oh yeah, the still on the hill across the creek from the mill.
I sat around under the trees to listen to the music for a while, and look around too. But it all didn't feel like last year's. Somewhat just another country festival, somewhat cause I knew more of the history of the place too I guess. One thing I did notice. Lots of unfamilar faces roaming around. I thought that odd. Where did all the strangers come from? I guess the people I know just dont have an interest in those kinds of events.
Today's been just another day wasted away. Haven't accomplished anything except hang around the house and on the internet in chat rooms, not really talking with anyone there either. But there is always Monday morning I guess. I seem to put things off till Monday morning and next week, just to get a new start at trying to get something constructive going.
Well, that's enough. I really don't want to go down that road again.
Wednesday Sep 22, 1999
4:30p
Been doing some remembering the past couple of days. See the Random Ressurrected Rememberances sections of the Journal: Book 2 Parts 6 and 7.
Tuesday Sep 28, 1999
8:05a
Brother Daniel has been home visiting. He rode his motorcycle from out West. Picked up a nail in one of the tires somewhere in Texas and spent the day getting help and getting it fixed. Actually he ended up helping the help, the dude had truck troubles during all the running around helping Daniel. Such is travel I guess. It's why I don't go anywhere either, I'd get truck trouble and probably have to abandon the it in some far away town. Almost rather do that than get stuck with an outragious bill for gettingit fixed. Too many people out there egar to ripoff the unfortunate travelers.
I've mostly been driving him around, revisiting some of the ole places he use to go. We went up to West Eastatoe to look at all the development there, golf course on the side of a mountain, really huge houses. It kinda obsence how much rich people put into a place they'll seldom live in; it's mostly just an investment, or somewhere to put they pocket change.
Yesterday, we drove up to Table Rock and came back through Pumpkintown. We stopped at the store and restaurant there, he got a hotdog and I got a root beer. We sat outside on a bench under the old pump cover. It was the longest time I ever spent at that intersection, that I can remember anyway. The bros, their friends and me tagging along probably stopped there sometimes during the '50s but there's no real memory of it.
So anyway, we just sat there and talked some. He got a Goody's headache powder too while there. We talked about that was what Dad used, Goody's powder and wash it down with a 5 cent coke, at Austin Nealy's old place.
Sunday afternoon, Mack Trotter came up to Mom's to visit there. Then later uncle Bob came up too. We all sat out on the back porch and talked, or they talked I just did my usual thing, sit and listen. It was typical I suppose, talk about all the old and ole things, places, people, and doings. Daniel and I went down to DM's earlier that day too, so he got to see DM and Mickey for while.
It's been sprinkling rain for a couple of days now, not nearly enough to make up for the dry Summer. It's been really bad, there's 15 days of good water left, then 15 days of bad water and it's going take 45 days for the city to get hooked up to the Greenville water line from Keowee. That kind of talk is going on around town, or in the news, which makes me wonder why, if it really that critical of a water shortage. But anyway, what will be will be.
I gotta go now, have to go back to the store and pick up some things for lunch. It's Daniel's last full day here and they will be visitors later this afternoon, about the time I have to go to the pizza place of course.
Tuesday Sep 28, 1999
8:35a
Oh yeah. For any or all who are regular visitors to my Journal and for any or all who sent email and never got a return, I'm abandoning email. Nothing but ads and spam is coming in, and nothing I send out seems to be making it. Cant even get to the inbox anymore. All links to outside world are being blocked now. Lonehawk's going back to NoWhere and NoWhen status. There's no point in trying to communicate.
Friday Oct 1, 1999
6:40a
Cleaned house yesterday, one of the seasonal change cleanings, it's Fall now. It's interesting how a little bit of activity helps my mood, just do some physical moving around and be doing something as compared to sitting here in front of this computer. I probably should do some more today too, along with cleaning out my mind too, I didn't do much of that yesterday. I saw one of the Home Improvement shows the other week, Mr Wilson was tending to a miniture rock garden. I need to do one of them too.
Daniel left to travel back to his home. It was raining and damp that day and all the way across north Georgia. But it was clear yesterday so his traveling will be easier the rest of the way home. We rode up to Sassafrass and Rocky Bottom the day before he left. Leander, Susan and DM came up the night before too. But I had to work that evening so I missed out on that get together. Oh well.
It October, the cold months have arrived and I'm really not mentally ready for them. It's the holiday seasons and that means the end of another year. I've come to dread this time of year. Another year wasted away and nothing to show for it. Dark months of brooding about it all. Others having a good time celeberating. And it hasn't been that way around here for decades now.
I've always wanted to spend the holiday seasons on my own. To be out there in the world somewhere and living ... well, just living. Probably would have been more motivated to making new acquaintences, friends even. Living in the wide world, exploring, traveling, working, and just having a good time. But if I had done that, I'd just end up wanting to have lived the one place, same ole routine type of life. It's always wanting what we didn't have, isn't it.
Pause ... Looks like I've run out of things to write about so I'm off to try to get something constructive done. Ha, yeah sure.
Tuesday Oct 5, 1999
8:05a
Started putting the tray together for the miniture rock garden yesterday. The back corner bedroom is my storage place, I keep all the junk back there, including some wood. Scrounged around through it looking for what might be useful and work for the tray. Used some wood from John Houser's old bass speakers that he had made. That must have been 12 year ago when he moved and gave me that. It was mostly looking at the available parts and figuring out how to put them together, or how they would go together the best way. I dont really know why, it seldoms works out like it's suppose to, so I just should plunge ahead without plans.
I tried to fix it so the bottom would just fit into the frame, close tolerance stuff. Cant draw square, cant cut square. Cant see the easier was till it's already cut which has always been my problem. It's that lack of foresight that makes most everything I try more difficult than it is suppose to be. But anyway, I got something together that will work, till it falls apart at least. It's about 20 x 22 inch square, or it would have been square if I had put the sides together differently, with a plain, white bathroom type wallboard. The bottom is just nailed to the frame, like I should have done the first time instead of making something to fit inside the frame. The sides are 1 1/2 inch high. And it does have a bit of duct tape on the back, doesnt everything I make have to have duct tape?
I've thought about using Town Creek sand, pebbles and rocks for this first one, maybe get some pebbles and rocks from the other creeks in Pickens County too. And I saw that bag of bones that's been laying on the kitchen floor since the day I found on Lake Joccassee and thought I should use them in one too. I guess that will be the next to make.
I'm listening to one of Robert's tapes now too, he's telling about their family vacation trip. So I'm trying to do two things at once again, not suppose to be doing that, it's one of the Buddha teachings. Suppose to just focus on one thing at a time to get the full Zen experience. So I'm going to quit now.
9:00a
That was one of his better tapes, he told about his family's camping and road trip this time, usually he's on one of his weekend, day hikes. The trip sounded like it was really good, just being with his family out in nature, looking at all the great scenery. That's the way it's suppose to be with all familys, just being together.
It all made me think again how much better off society would be if we would just toss out the tvs, computer games, newspapers, radios and everything else that seperates us. But I guess it's just another way of bitching about the way I've spent my life, mostly alone with tv shows, movies, news. Such a waste.
Oh well, it's really after 10, I still use standard time all the time, except for the real world neccessities. I'll upload this entry and go out to see what constructive things I can get done before lunch time.
Wednesday Oct 6, 1999
2:25p
Finished cutting the grass at Mom's house and got back here a few minutes ago. Maybe this will be the last time for this year, there's only been 3 or 4 times I've cut it this Summer. I did the trimming with the push mower first for a change. Got that done and as I was putting that mower away I thought about the riding mower not working and having to finish cutting with the push mower. Actually thought about doing that when I was cutting with it, just for the exercise and 'cause it was the way we use to do it when we moved up there. But anyway, I get on the riding mower and turn the key, click, nothing else just the one click. The battery had gone down, probably because it hadn't been charged much this year. So I go to the Easley side of town to the auto parts place and get another one. That one lasted on 3 years too, it was the replacement for the one that went bad in '96 when I had the hernia operation. Oh well, that job is done now. I think I'll add some remembering to the jour270.htm file, Random Resurrected Rememberances, about grass cutting now.
Sunday Oct 10, 1999
2:35p
Thursday noontime I spent raking under the pecan tree, and then I cut the grass under it again too, with the push mower. The tree is going to have good pecans this year anyway, eventhough it's been really dry. I think the crows are knocking them down.
Later I decide to ride up to the beer joint on Beasley Mountain, where you turn to go down into Eastatoe valley. I was going to make a picture of the Road Kill Grill for Daniel. I got there and tried but the camera would come on, even though I had tried it at home before leaving.
So I leave there and drive through the valley to Sliding Rock #11. I had planned to find some sand, pebbles and rocks for the miniture rock garden box while I was out. At least I get a bucket and bag from there. I shoveled about 3/4 bucket of sand from down at the pool area, I guess most of it came down the eroded gulley where people had been driving their jeeps. Then I walked up to the head of the big flat rock looking for rocks and anything else I might find. There were a few pebbles in a hollow under the water, I got them. Then I noticed the round outs, full of rocks, sand, stones, pebbles. So I spent some time fishing them out. The last thing I got was some burnt wood, charchol, where there was a campfire.
Before leaving I get the camera out again and mess with it, it starts working. It's a drive back through the valley to the Road Kill Grill. I get a few pictures there then drive on back home.
Spent the rest of the afternoon washing dirt, sand and rocks. Well, mostly trying to figure how the best way will be to do that. I did get things sorted out and half cleaned.
Friday I spend most of the day doing the dirt processing. Built a couple of filtering screens from whatever parts I had in the backroom. Then it was scoop out sand onto them and using water to filter out the bigger stuff. I eventually get it all done, a pile of big rocks, pebble size, grit and sand.
That afternoon I spend cleaning off the back porch, which hadnt been done in a couple or three years. It was mostly cleaning the dirt, dust, spider webs, wasp nests off everything and putting stuff away.
Friday night I spread a piece of plastic out on one side of the kitchen floor, lay down some newspapers and spread the rocks and grit out for drying. It's starting to rain again, by the way, so they wouldnt dry outside. All that grit and sand just holds water unless it spread out on something. I tried letting it drain through the screen again, but the water just stays in the stuff.
Saturday, I get enough of it dried out, to put in the miniture sandbox. I did get a piece of 1/4 x 3/4 flat molding to use as dividers in it. I spread out all the rocks, pebbles and grit in it. Later that day I get it all put up in plastic jars, a paper bag and box. It's sitting on the kitchen counter now.
It's kinda like, "What now?" The project is done. I did think about putting kits together and wonder how much I could get for them. Real Pickens County dirt, sand, rocks for sell. But then there's all the legal stuff, like Environmental Impact Statements for getting a couple shovel full of sand out of the rivers and streams. Paying the landowner for the dirt. Shipping agriculture/natural products across state lines. Ha, just kind takes all the fun out of doing something like that.
I really haven't been having good days this past week. They've all felt so purposeless. I can't seen to find and happiness or satisfaction in doing anything.
Thursday night I killed Nokomenam, it was way past time for him to go anyway. That was the day Entity014 died too, there really hadnt been much reason to keep going back to Yahoo chat since then anyway. All the others are dead too, SciTec, RebelRouser57, Muddy-Waters, OreilySpyAce, nononeknowsmyname, seems like there was another too but I cant think of that name. Of course there were those who were killed off a long time ago. I should have never kept on as long as I did, said that back in Fall of '97. It just took me a long time to do it.
Most all the talk in those rooms are the same anyway. Same topics, same debates, same arguements, same everything. Nothing changes in relgion talk. We're really never going to learn to just get along together. I've decided that those types of chatrooms attract the so-called average person. The better exchanges of ideas and opinions happen on discussion boards. Even the news groups aren't much better than chatrooms, a few people with a bad attitude show up and disrupt the whole process. I guess it like that in the real world too. I just dont get out enough, or out to the right places to find such bickering and fighting. It's all "My way is right, correct, truth and everyone else's is wrong, in error and false." Too few will admit none of us knows anything. That's what Entity014 use to say, "YOU ALL DONT KNOW NOTHING!"
So it's over with, Nokomenam is dead along with all the others.
Yesterday morning during the wake-up-on-the-internet session, I went back to the ABC Century pages, checking up on the Firefight postings under Vietnam. No one has posted there since the empty response to my "Talk To Me Wall" post. I haven't been going back to that post, but I did yesterday. When I did that it took two postings, the first one was too long and got cut off, so I had to add the second part. When they, ABC news, fixed that multiple posting problems someone put the two parts together. The whole poem is in the first post now. I'm not all that sure what to make of it all. It's kinda like no one wants to say anything about Nam in that group anymore. Which makes me wonder if what I wrote caused it, like "Talk To Me Wall" had the final say of what everyone else was feeling too. I just dont know.
Well, it's time to go play like a parttime teenage pizza cook. I'm not liking that part of my life anymore either. Bye.
Wednesday Oct 13, 1999
3:05p
Watching sand dry is like watching paint dry, well, paint actually drys faster than sand, so when time moves slowly it should be "like watching sand dry." Putting the sand on paper helps, it wicks it out along with the gravity force. I'll eventually get enough dried out to start playing in the sand and grit and pebble and rock box. I'll learn if there's any artist left in me, ha, as if there was such before.
Went down to visit with DM and Mick yesterday afternoon, it was much the same with them, nothing new. DM and I got to talking navy talk, the subject of ship building came up and I remember a couple of things Dad told me about working up in Maryland shipyards during World War II. I should add them to one of the Random Reserructed Rememberances parts of the Journal. I'll get around to it, telling about what I've been told about family history.
I rained a lot on Monday, the city resavoir is flowing over the dam again. I learned they got the old pump going again too, the one they use to use to get water directly from the river at the water processing plant. Maybe they'll keep it fixed now, just for emergencies. They are still going to connect to the big pipe from Keowee to Greenville. There's been lots of legal hassle about that too, it's like the water wars out West during the 1800's around here, 'cept it's all done in courts, so far.
I met Mr and Mrs Beard down at the bank by the creek one day last week. Talked with them for a short while. Part of the group that use to get together at the Feedroom for breakfast have been meeting at the Village Inn now. I went up there yesterday morning too, the first time I've been with a group in a really long time. Mr and Mrs Lindsey came in too and sat at the table. She always talks about Robert and me being lab assistants during high school. We talked about Robert and Daniel's high school friends too, two of their boys and Furman.
Mrs Lindsey is 90 now. My great-grandfather Daniel Travis Hayes was 91 when I was born. I asked Mom once if he ever held me, she said no. But she was confused over who I was talking about, she was thinking grandfather Daniel Moses Hayes who died in December before I was born in May. So I still don't know for sure if Travis Hayes every held me, he probably did. He was born in 1857. I guess most people think a person's lifetime is short compared to history, but it's not. Three people can "connect" over a 300 hundred year span of time. Lots has happened between 1857 and 1999, 142 years, and that's just between my great-grandfather and me.
Now that I'm basically looking at the end of life, instead of its beginning, or middle, I wonder what my "span of days" will eventually be? I wonder who's beginning will I be able to "connect" with?
Thursday Oct 14, 1999
7:30a
[Long pause of being lost in thought, trying to think of something to say.] Oh well, guess I really didn't have anything to write about. Bye
Tuesday Oct 20, 1999
9:45a
Did the yard work at Mom's house yesterday. The Confederate Battle Flag over the State house is in the news again. Found a plastic one worn in half up on Glassy mountain yesterday afternoon. Been putting together another webpage about the whole issue of ripped-off, stolen, ill-used symbols. It's posted in ThoughSmithing 1999 section and here. Added a bit to the Random Thought File too.
Nothing else is different, same old cow path through the same old pasture on the same old farm in the same old county. I'm outta here. Bye.
2:45p
One of the truism of life: You can no more convince a racist that racism is wrong than a haterist that hatred is wrong. Nor can you convince either that they are actual what they are, a racist and haterist.
There will be a new form of both, anti-ethnicism, ... no, such already exists. There will be a new group to suffer from both the racism and haterism. A white southern person will become the new target, a revival of the federal occupation period from 125 years ago. History has proven that the once oppressed eventually become the oppressors and the oppressors the oppressed. That is one of the cycles within a civilization.
But, I think, it's not so much the individual sufferring that will happen, nor the collective culture sufferring, as it is the loosing of the spirit of the culture. It's kind of like standing by and watching another historic building or site being torn down and paved over. And there is nothing you can do to stop it.
Deep down, it's the lost of true history at the hands of those who would twist and contort it into something it was never meant to be. That is why it hurts so much. Not only does the present day news media do that to current history, but they are those who will do the same to the past. How is it possible to learn from the past when we no longer know what it really and truely was?
We've become lost already within symbology. A Tele-Tubbey character for children is pink and wears a triangle, it is mutated from just an childish entertainment character into sinister plot for gayism. Proberly use the word, "niggardly" and there is an immediate accussation of racism. Language itself unintentially becomes full of symbolic meanings, no longer does "black and white" mean a truism printed on paper.
It seems the more that is done to remove racism and hatred from society, the more racism and hatred is added.