In which we witness our heroine's conception, birth, and growth, and we accompany her on her early adventures across the globe, encountering such diverting figures as Jesus Christ and The Sex Dwarf. Also, a long, long essay about gender roles in The Terminator, parts 1 & 2, & Ursula becomes a radio star.
MI VIDA LOCA
In which our heroine consults her pastor, has a run-in with the border patrol, discovers her bisexuality, and is nearly raped by an over-enthusiastic suitor. Also, Ursula whines about her health and appearance. (Please note that I titled this volume before the release of the damned Ricky Martin song!)
THE JOYS OF INCEST
In which we meet Ursula's sister, Alexis Hitler,
and learn of the scandalous behavior of this terrible twosome. Also, our
heroine witnesses a girl being set aflame, steps out with Miss M, a new
galpal from Gotham City, and pines for her true love's return.
COMINGS AND GOINGS
In which we witness the welcome return of K, and bid a sad farewell to Miss M. Also; The Brow Incident, and the Jungle Hot Dog.
NOTES FROM THE POUT HOLE
In which we savor Ursula's chunky-style eyeball
jello. Also, lots & lots & lots of whining, Heavy Metal, gettin'
down with Krishnas, and the News from Lake Wobegon.
URSULA GOES HOLLYWOOD
In which Ursula meets a celebrity's brother, eulogizes Ben is Dead, and trashes the surviving members of Monty Python. Also, doggie debates with Nopey and Yeppie, Ursula saves a fuzzy friend from Possum Aushwitz, and a major announcement about Ursula's exciting new television venture.
NO MORE MISTER NICE GIRL
In which we tag along on Ursula's perfect
day, follow her back to school, and listen to her rant about spam, cake,
mermaids, Buffy, and Jar-Jar Binks' big candy tongue. Also, Ursula &
K take slave applications, and bid a very fond adieu to Scratchy the O'possum.
Fun & frivolity in the year 2000! Whee!