MUKO

Wednesday, December 8, 2004
SMOKE KALUMNOS. SMOKE ONE NOW.

The Republic of Esperantujo

Grand
Opening!
Thurs., Dec. 9

Sammy's
Scintillas

They're small--really compact! And they're solar powered!

SAMMY'S!
Always your home base for scintillas, orts, atoms and the occasional molecule, all at friendly, affordable prices.

"You never know when you'll need one"

Stores in Zamenhof City, Smjercenhercen, Fruitland, Cojones Rompidos, Malonia City--and, in Sudkruco, at 3 locations in New Pudding.

Noxious fumes detected over secret military base

    Unsure whether a miasma of vomit-inducing gas near a secret military installation in Occupied Himmelfarb represents a previously unknown petroleum supply or the present location of the Megafarter, Army commandos have closed off the base, known to some as "Area 52" in an effort to maintain control of the situation.
    EIA director J. Colgate Wolf, appointed just last week by President Blanka, tells MUKO, "As I have been telling all the media, these aren't UFOs, they're Esperantujan Air Force weather balloons. There are no aliens on the base, living or dead. We would tell you, if you had a need to know. Trust us, okay?"