The Process And The Significance Of Growing

By The Pathwork Guide

Greetings my dearest, dearest friends. I welcome all of you. May you understand and derive a key, perhaps an echo somewhere, to help you into the right direction within yourselves.

I usually start these sessions by giving a blessing. What does the word blessing really mean? Let us for once consider the meaning and not think of a word without knowing its deeper sense. Your ability to understand the meaning of the word blessing today may be an entirely different one than before. Blessing really means the vigorous total wish for good -- the wish coming from the innermost self, from the divine inner being -- the wish for the good of the unitive principle, where there are no opposites and no conflicts. When this unobstructed, unhindered wish flows out directly into the deepest regions of consciousness of another person -- or persons -- then a vibrating energy and a force is created which has a new impact on the inner person. When the word blessing will be used henceforth, either directly or indirectly, it will be helpful for you to think that in order for a blessing to be effective it needs your response. A blessing needs openness, willingness, and inner cooperation in every possible way, so that two forces can meet. For a one-sided blessing is no blessing. It may be a blessing that is well-intended, but it reverberates either on a wall of resistance and opposition or on a wall of blandness, of non-cooperation, and of neutrality.

The topic is the process of growing. Let us understand exactly what is meant by it. Since this lecture is a continuation of the last one, it will be difficult for those who do not know the preceding lectures. At least parts of it will be difficult to understand. Those of you who do not know those lectures, just try your best to be attentive. Where you cannot follow, perhaps you can fill in later by reading the preceding ones.

To recapitulate briefly. We have been discussing the unitive principle and the dualistic principle. Mankind's consciousness -- perception and experience -- is generally geared to the dualistic principle. This means that everything is perceived in opposites: either good or bad, either desirable or undesirable, either life or death. As long as man lives in this dualism, then conflict and unhappiness must exist. Absolute, universal, cosmic truth is always unified. There are no opposites in cosmic truth. When man attains it, then he discovers that the belief in opposites was an illusion.

This unification does not mean, however, that the good of the dualistic principle is realized and the evil is eliminated. This is what so often puts man on an erroneous path. He hopes to attain only one of the opposites -- and in that way salvation is impossible. As long as he opposes one side and clings to the other, then self-realization or liberation -- that is, the unitive principle -- is unattainable. The good of the unitive principle and the good of the dualistic way of life are of entirely different natures. The former conciliates both sides, while the latter separates them. This can be ascertained in any individual problem when it is thoroughly understood. This is extremely important to understand, my friends. For when you seek only one side of a pair of opposites, then you must oppose the other side. In that opposition your soul is agitated and fearful, and in that state you can never reach the unified principle.

Let us discuss this topic in regard to the process of growth. As long as man's consciousness is geared to the dualistic perception -- in other words, as long as he cannot transcend it -- then the process of growing is questionable and problematic. Growing on the dualistic plane automatically moves toward its opposite. From the moment an individual is born, he moves toward death. From the moment an aspect unfolds and grows towards its maximum fulfillment, the downward curve of destruction, of its inherent annihilation, is brought nearer. From the day a baby is born and gradually grows into being an adult, it moves towards death. From the moment an individual strives for any kind of happiness, he must fear its opposite. In ever-changing rhythm, the cyclic, eternal movement of growing must inevitably approach the opposite. From life to death to life, on and on; from construction to destruction to construction, on and on. The one brings forth the other.

It is exceedingly important to understand this opposition, for it is one of the major reasons for resisting growth. It is a reason beyond the psychological quirks and aspects of neurosis, because when they are transcended and dissolved, then this fundamental opposition to growth still remains. It explains why man fears growth as long as he perceives life through the dualistic consciousness. He fears that reaching for the goal brings destruction nearer. He deludes himself that by stemming against time -- thereby postponing the desired fulfillment -- he also postpones the feared opposite. Clinging to the status quo and stagnation, which are both distortions of non-movement, create agitation -- or distorted movement.

As long as growth takes place on the dualistic plane, then there is always a peak to be reached. After that peak, then the movement is a downward one. So all the living creatures on the dualistic plane are in a perpetual cycle of life and death. They move from the upper curve to the downward curve, from construction to destruction, from being to becoming. In nature, the plant grows in the spring towards its own fruition in the summer; in the fall it slowly dies down; in the winter it is no more. Only its dormant potential of life slumbers in the soil, waiting for the seed to grow again in the spring. This is the process of growth. Therefore, the joy on the upper curve can never be full and carefree, without anxiety. For even before the peak is reached, the downward curve must be anticipated.

This dichotomy no longer exists on the unified plane of consciousness, where no more opposites need to be feared. Self-realization must always lead to the experience and the perception of the unitive state. To put it the other way around, the unitive state cannot come about in any other way than through self-realization. Self-realization means the shedding of the layers of error so that the real self, the divine, the eternal inner being comes to the fore. The shedding of the layers of pain, of error, of confusion, and of limitation can happen only when man no longer runs away from himself: when he is willing and desirous to look at himself as he really is, instead of the way he wants to be; when he accepts himself in this moment as he is; when he does not struggle against his temporary state, even though he understands its erroneous nature. This is the work that you are doing on this Path.

It is erroneous to assume that the unitive perception cannot occur in this earthly sphere of existence. It is absolutely possible for anyone who is willing to expand his consciousness. He has to question the veracity of his limited ideas, the correctness of what he assumes to be unalterably so. This can be done only when man looks honestly at his most subtle moods and reactions and then he translates them into concise words. Then he finds out that these reactions and reflexes, these emotions and moods are based on certain assumptions that he never has had an opportunity to question since they were all kept in the dark, in vagueness and easy rationalization. This pathwork that you are doing is of immesurable importance, because without recognizing the little daily dishonesties, the self-deceptions, and the erroneous assumptions none of them can be questioned, and threreby loosened up in order to make room for a new reality. When a vague disturbance is honestly examined and put into words to bring out its exact significance, then a concept will be uncovered on which the disturbance is based. Then it can be questioned, and this is a step toward a widening of perception which enables the individual to transcend his dualistic state and to perceive the unitive state. This must be done in every area of consciousness, in every department of life, in every individual facet of a person's existence. It is possible to have realized the unitive principle in some areas of the self, while other areas are still deeply submerged in the illusion and in the pain of dualism.

It cannot be emphasized strongly enough that self-liberation -- in other words, the transition from the dualistic state into the unitive state -- cannot come about by accumulating knowledge and theoretical understanding, by studying or by going toward an outer goal. It cannot come from wanting to be different, from striving to attain a state that does not already exist within. It can come only from being in the Now and from discovering that everything already exists within -- behind the level of confusion and of pain. This state that exists behind the acutely experienced momentary state of duality can be first liberated and then brought to the surface only when the level of confusion and pain has been totally understood.

The natural cosmic flow within the psyche of every living being -- in everything that lives around you and within yourself -- is a bubbling life stream that carries you, automatically and naturally, toward this state of self-realization, a state where there is no longer any opposition or any painful conflict. This is the natural state. Therefore, you have nature with you, on your side. By entrusting yourself to this life stream, by allowing yourself to perceive this natural stream, by putting yourself into this stream, then you will facilitate your natural destiny. But unfortunately man struggles against his natural destiny, which is so good. He puts all his faith in a principle of opposition. He invents ifs and buts which really do not exist. This is why he invites pain -- for all pain, in the last analysis, is utterly superfluous. And these are not just words, my friends. Any one of you on this Path, in this work of self-realization, who has taken some steps toward evolving out of his errors has found it to be so. All of you who work intensely in this respect have had moments when you have completely understood how needlessly, how unnecessarily you have opposed that natural stream in which there is no pain. In these moments you have also understood that truth never really hurts you, that it never really destroys you, that it never really endangers you. But you constantly embrace pain, either by believing that it is inevitable, or by believing that it is safer than the unitive state toward which you naturally gravitate.

If you entrust yourself to this unitive state, then you will find these words to be utter truth. I realize that the mere abstract principle of what I explain here can never be sufficient. Regardless of how open you are, no words can ever, by themselves, be instrumental in helping you in your inner work of evolution -- specifically to deeply understand your present position in life, to understand both your inner state and your outer state, and to destroy your illusions and your erroneous ideas. The dissolution of illusion and of error cannot be set in motion by embracing a new and perhaps more evolved concept and philosophy of life and discarding a less truthful general concept that hitherto you have held. It can begin only by destroying your personal little errors out of which your daily disharmonies and your disturbances arise. What appears to be the most insignificant daily problem will show you how you embrace error and opposition -- a no-current -- out of fear and out of ignorance. Hence you stop the natural flow, the natural cosmic movement of which you are an integral part and which is an integral part of you. Only by this very personal observation of your reactions to the daily occurrences in your life can you make these words a personally experienced truth. The experience will not come from paying lip service to the principle, even if with your intellect you may understand what I am saying here. Understanding alone cannot suffice to bring you through the transition from the dualistic state -- the painful state of opposites -- into the freedom of the unified principle.

As I said, growth on the dualistic plane must always be fraught with fear of the undesirable opposite. Therefore, the process of growth will be opposed as long as the goal of growth is conceived of as a desired good as opposed to an undesired bad. As long as a consciousness cannot perceive, comprehend, and experience the unitive state of the specific area of life that you want to grow in, then growing must create an inner conflict. For what do you grow? Does not the very movement of growth bring about the end?

On the unitive plane growth is not threatened by an opposite. Hence it need not be feared or opposed. Growth cannot come when that which opposes it is in turn opposed, but only when the feared opposite can be envisaged and accepted, if need be. When man no longer fears one opposite and therefore fearfully clings to the other, then -- and only then -- can he reach the unitive state. He can never reach it as long as he has fear in his heart.

In the unitive state the process of growing means forever-increasing unfoldment and expansion. It means widening the experience of the infinite possibilities of beauty, of life, of good. But remember, it is not the beauty which is the opposite of ugliness; it is not the life which is the opposite of death; it is not the good which is the opposite of the bad. Expansion in the unitive state is never threatened by an opposite.

The two ways of growing -- on the dualistic plane and on the unitive plane -- are two entirely different movements. One is a cyclic movement, with an upward curve, a peak, and a downward curve -- and then a beginning again. It is the process of growth of the finite state, of the dualistic state, expressing always two opposites. It is the state of cause and effect.

Growing on the unitive state is forever more and more and more. It is infinite, never ending, never needing an opposite motion. It has transcended, and is therefore beyond, the principle of cause and effect. When this is grasped, no matter how vaguely it may at first appear in one's inner feelings -- and this inkling comes from facing one's personal inner errors and one's self-deceptions -- then an entirely new approach to growing must evolve.

Along the road of transition from the dualistic state to the unitive state a few further aspects need to be understood, because they might give you a new comprehension about your own life right now. When man is engaged in an intense self-search, when he vigorously confronts himself and faces truth upon truth, then he begins to set up new inner conditions. As a result, his psyche goes through profound upheavals. The past painful state was a result of false ideas. As these false ideas begin to tumble as you realize their incorrectness, their destruction may bring about more or less drastic outer changes. When man is in a period of transition, then it is possible that on some levels he has already reached the beginning of the unitive experience. He feels a deep peace and joy in every moment, regardless of whether or not the moment corresponds to the desired good. He perceives that every living moment contains the potential of joy and peace. By being in truth with himself he no longer fears anything, for he no longer clings to, and therefore tightly insists on, his desired good. Hence he is open for the divine source to fill him and to convey to him the reality of a life where there is nothing to fear and where all good exists. He can reach for this good without urgency and he obtains it precisely because he knows that it is his. He does not fear knowing it because he derives the joy of life out of both opposites of the dualistic state. This is the unitive state.

Then the unitive state can begin to exist partially, particularly in certain areas of an individual's life. At this point he has not yet attained the complete transition, the total awakening in which he finds that the truth of life has existed for him always, and therefore that he did not need to fear anything, to cringe from anything, or to struggle for anything. But he experiences partially what this unitive life will always be. Eventually this brings an increasing unfoldment and greater enrichment into his outer circumstances in such a harmonious, unproblematic, and organic way that his environment may appear almost coincidental.

These outer improvements may or may not coincide with ideas and ideals he has held on the dualistic plane. Yet the manner in which these ideas and ideals are experienced is entirely different. In other words, he may have a similar goal as before, but the expression of this goal will be different. In addition, the absence of the desired goal will not have the power to make him suffer, as it did when he perceived reality according to the dualistic principle, with all its limitations and with all its errors. This growing into the unitive state manifests in increasing security in the self and in increasing security in life. It also manifests in a peaceful joyousness which makes every moment vibrant, interesting, and totally free from anxiety and from boredom. This growing is rich in possibilities. Each moment harbors ever-widening vistas of perception never experienced before.

At the same time, other areas still exist in which he reacts in the old way: with fear, with distrust, with anxiety, with despair, with tight selfwill. These are usually the areas where his psyche was afflicted by images, by neurotic behavior patterns, and by misconceptions so deeply engraved that to change the inner picture requires more extended and patient work. This other side gradually catches up with the side that is already partially in a new land where light is never threatened by darkness.

The old state is based on error. The edifices of error have to crumble before the construction based on truth can begin. The structures which are built on top of erroneous concepts must inevitably be destroyed. In the falsity of the dualistic state one position is flatly and unchangingly perceived as desirable, while its opposite is seen as undesirable. Thus man clings to the idea that construction is always good, while destruction is always bad. The unification of these two opposites, the unitive state, can come only when the two sides are conciliated. In the above example it must be recognized that the destruction of error is desirable, while the construction of error is undesirable.

Destruction is always a painful process, whether or not it is desirable. During the destruction of the edifices of error man's life may be upset. Inwardly, he feels threatened and at a loss. Outwardly, even the desirable aspects of his existence have disappeared and no adequate replacement has yet been found. The greater the erroneous constructs are, the greater the upheaval in this period. Such upheaval is naturally experienced as painful. But it is painful only because it is misunderstood and assumed to mean a relapse and therefore one's personal inadequacy. This misunderstanding leads man to be discouraged, to despair with himself, and to stem against the flow or the tide that carries him into a new state of mind. Yet this new state of mind can come about only through the destruction of the old state of consciousness. By stemming against this organic and desirable movement, he only prolongs the painful transitional period -- painful primarily because he does not understand how he himself prolongs his pain. He feels: "Here I am, trying so hard. Yet in spite of it all, look at what happens to me. Everything seems to run out between my fingers. Not only do I fail to realize this new fulfillment, but even that which I had has now gone."

When you understand that the crumbling of the old structure is desirable because the old way only appeared to give you satisfaction or because it only seemed to hold out a promise to you which was never realized, then you will not cry after something that is actually no loss at all. Nor will you be misled into believing that you have not progressed. This state may be the best possible proof that -- more so than you know -- you are evolving into a new reality. But you block it by ignoring the significance of this state. You block it because you ferociously refuse to allow your intuition to tell you where the cosmic life stream carries you. In other words, you insist on evaluating your life in terms of the limited dualistic thinking.

When you realize all this, then you will deeply sense that what happens to you is not a relapse, that the crumbling and the destruction of the old is actually the seed of a new construction. You begin to sense that the act of the destruction of error is already the construction of truth. This act conciliates construction and destruction, and it makes one out of two opposites. Hence you will no longer be discouraged, nor will you suffer when you do not expect that you and your life should be different. You will know that all is as it should be, as it must be. For the actual loss of or the absence of a desired good hurts much more when one sees this loss or this absence as a negative sign. In other words, when one believes: "If I were where I should be, then it would not happen this way." It is this self-reproach which is so painful in this period of transition. Instead of struggling against such a seeming loss, you will instead see the conciliation of the opposites as an organic step. This is not to be misconstrued to mean that you should not seek an intelligent solution to a particular problem. But when you find that all the doors are closed and that life seems to show you quite clearly -- from within yourself as much as from outside -- that you are involved in something to which you cannot find a solution at this time, then you may rest assured that old structures based on the error of dualistic perception are crumbling. When you encourage this recognition in your understanding, then you will go with the stream instead of against it.

There is one further aspect, a part of this topic, which I should like to explain. It is difficult to do so. It requires a most intuitive cooperation and extension from your innermost being so as not to misunderstand it in typical dualistic fashion.

The unitive state can be reached principally by two roads, which are the opposites of the dualistic state. It can be reached by being on and through the good side, as well as by being on and through the bad side. Where you are already in a relative state of inner health, in a relative state of inner truth, where you are relatively free from fear, and therefore you possess confidence and a genuine sense of the benign nature of the universe, then you can find within yourself the perception of health and the perception of absolute truth. You can become absolutely free from fear and from distrust. You know the truth of life: that all good is yours, that the universe contains all good, that there is an abundance free from conflict. In other words, you know that your good never interferes with anyone else's good. In other words, your good does not bring any bad for anyone. When you have reached this state of experiencing the world and life, then you can find the unitive principle deep within yourself. This happens without fear, without opposition, without guilt. It happens because you feel deeply deserving. Now you know that no one is deprived because of your fulfillment. At the same time, you will not fear the lack of this same fulfillment. You will know that infinite good exists, with no conflict between you and others -- hence unity.

But where the psyche is still afflicted with doubt, with fear, with guilt, with conflict, and with error, then this road toward the good cannot be taken. If it is attempted nevertheless by misunderstanding the nature of this road, then the attempt is an artificial manipulative act than can only lead to self-deception. Then the attempt is made not in unitive knowledge, but out of the dualistic fear that the non-fulfillment of the wish or the frustration of the goal is dangerous. This fundamental error barricades the door into the wide open world of the unitive state. When you are still in a state of untruth and distortion -- and therefore in an inner state of fear and of distrust of yourself and of distrust of the world -- then you can transcend this state only by accepting that which you fear. In other words, by not running away from it and thus running away from yourself now. Since the unitive state must be free from opposition, then you must stop opposing that which you fear. But this should not be done in a spirit of masochistic self-denial. It should be done by openly questioning the fact that what you fear may not be deserving of fear. In other words, you must question the concept that causes the fear of the alternative, instead of opposing the alternative itself.

This is directly connected with relinquishing what you insist upon and relinquishing your fear that the desired alternative will not occur. I have discussed this relinquishing from many angles and I showed you again and again how inner peace and harmony cannot be reached when the soul is in a tight, cramped state. Relinquishing, or letting go, induces a relaxation without which contact with the inner, divine self is not possible. Nor can a state of mind which expresses ultimate reality be experienced without relaxation. Relinquishing does not mean a self-defeating, sacrificial deprivation of oneself. It means that where you recognize either a point of fear or a point of hopelessness, then the the misconception which underlies this fear or this hopelessness must be relinquished. In other words, it means that your tight grip on certain convictions must be relinquished. It means that an attitude that is obviously destructive but that is believed to protect you from danger must be relinquished. When you do this, then it appears as though you have exposed yourself to what you consider undesirable. You must take this chance in order to find out that the whole idea was an illusion. Otherwise you cannot come out of a state of fear and conflict, a state in which fear and conflict continue to be perpetuated.

Let us take an example. Say that you greatly desire a particular fulfillment. You have done everything possible to attain it, but the door still remains closed. You discover that you are terrified of not attaining this fulfillment. Despite the fact that you have possibly experienced the truth of the unified principle in other respects of your life, in this respect you are still in fear of -- and therefore in opposition to -- the undesirable alternative. Even when you try to superimpose the truth that the universe knows no limitations -- or perhaps just because you do so in order to cover up your fear -- the fulfillment still remains absent. The only way you can transcend this state is by temporarily accepting it as a result of inwardly knowing that this state is not final. This means that not only do you accept the limitation of the outer situation, but also that you accept your own limited state at this time. When the opposition to your present state is given up, then you can find the truth of this state. Hence, it will be possible for you to conciliate the two opposites.

The state of unity is a fearless state. But the fear cannot be relinquished by insisting that what one fears stays away. Even if one succeeds temporarily, one remains perpetually dependent on circumstances being a certain way -- hence the fear can never be quite absent. The only way to genuinely free oneself from fear is to taste it and to discover that it holds no terror. In other words, that it can be coped with and that one remains essentially intact. No theory can bring about this safe state. Only one inner act can do it. And that is testing what you fear by trying it out, by going into it, by relinquishing the insistence that it needs to be feared and therefore kept away. When you embrace one alternative and you say, "I must have this in order not to have that," then that choice is precisely what keeps you from the transition into the fearless state, into the unitive state. For that kind of choice keeps stemming against the flow of the universal stream that wants to carry you, but that can carry you only when your psychic movements are relaxed.

When you find yourself either in an undesirable inner state or in an undesirable outer state, then try to realize that an untruth must exist somewhere in you. This awareness will help you to first search for and then to abandon the untruth. You will inevitably find that on a deeper level you either reject or oppose that which you consciously cling to and you embrace that which you consciously oppose. The opposite picture must exist when the fear of one alternative prevents you from being in peace and from being in joy. For instance, when you consciously fear death -- and it makes no difference whether this fear is directly conscious or whether it manifests only indirectly -- and you therefore tensely hold on to life, pushing against and opposing death, then you cannot come to the unitive principle unless you discover a particular untruth in you in this respect. In connection with this untruth, you harbor an opposition against life and a secret wish for death -- either directly or indirectly. Only when you find this secret wish for death can you relinquish your fear of death. Relinquishing this fear, however, does not mean that you should want to die.

To find these deep levels which make relinquishing a natural act and to perceive the unitive truth through repeated insights into oneself is impossible without help. It can be done rather easily in the framework of what this Path has to offer you -- all of its facets giving you help in different ways -- and it can be done when you totally want it. But every one of you is still filled with oppositions in one way or another. The first step is to find them, to become aware of them, and to verbalize them. I hope that I will not be misunderstood and therefore that my words are interpreted to mean that you "should" embrace the injustice and the destructiveness around you without a responsible attempt to eliminate it. I am not talking about the outer levels. Just as destruction can be part of a whole, so can opposition be part of a whole, and thus lead to unity. No concept must ever be either flatly accepted or flatly refuted as such. The opposition that I am talking about refers to a state of mind, to a state of emotions, to aspects of life and to aspects of the self that cannot be changed in a moment. When you find where and how you oppose something because you cling tightly to its opposite, then you will be making a substantial step towards your growth into the unitive principle.

I extend a deep and vigorous wish that comes from the deepest regions of Universal Consciousness, or Reality, to each and every one of you. Such a wish will touch you if you open yourself to this force and if you unite with it a similar force that comes from within you -- from that part of you which does not want to oppose truth in whatever form it comes but that wants to pursue the truth within. This union of forces will be a power whose effect you will possibly begin to feel only later. Nevertheless, it is very real, deep down within that nucleus, where this power constantly flows.

Be in peace. Be in that deep region of yourself where all is one.

June 10, 1966

Copyright 1966, 1978 by Eva Pierrakos