GULLIVER'S TRAVELS


By Jonathan Swift


The Publisher To The Reader

The author of these travels, Mr. Lemuel Gulliver, is my ancient and intimate 
friend; there is likewise some relation between us by the mother's side. About 
three years ago Mr. Gulliver, growing weary of the concourse of curious people 
coming to him at his house in Redriff, made a small purchase of land, with a 
convenient house, near Newark, in Nottinghamshire, his native country, where 
he now lives retired, yet in good esteem among his neighbours.
Although Mr. Gulliver was born in Nottinghamshire, where his father dwelt, yet 
I have heard him say his family came from Oxfordshire, to confirm which I have 
observed in the churchyard at Banbury, in that county, several tombs and 
monuments of the Gullivers.
Before he quitted Redriff he left the custody of the following papers in my 
hands, with the liberty to dispose of them as I should think fit. I have 
carefully perused them three times. The style is very plain and simple, and 
the only fault I find is that the author, after the manner of travellers, is a 
little too circumstantial. There is an air of truth apparent through the 
whole, and, indeed, the author was so distinguished for his veracity that it 
became a sort of proverb among his neighbours at Redriff, when anyone affirmed 
a thing, to say it was as true as if Mr. Gulliver had spoke it.
By the advice of several worthy persons, to whom, with the author's 
permission, I communicated these papers, I now venture to send them into the 
world, hoping they may be, at least for some time, a better entertainment to 
our young noblemen than the common scribbles of politics and party.
This volume would have been at least twice as large if I had not made bold to 
strike out innumerable passages relating to the winds and tides, as well as to 
the variations and bearings in the several voyages, together with the minute 
descriptions of the management of the ship in storms, in the style of sailors; 
likewise the account of the longitudes and latitudes, wherein I have reason to 
apprehend that Mr. Gulliver may be a little dissatisfied; but I was resolved 
to fit the work as much as possible to the general capacity of readers. 
However, if my own ignorance in sea affairs shall have led me to commit some 
mistakes, I alone am answerable for them; and if any traveller hath a 
curiosity to see the whole work at large, as it came from the hand of the 
author, I shall be ready to gratify him.
As for any further particulars relating to the author, the reader will receive 
satisfaction from the first pages of the book.
Richard Sympson.


A Letter from Captain Gulliver to his Cousin Sympson

I hope you will be ready to own publicly, whenever you shall be called to it, 
that by your great and frequent urgency you prevailed on me to publish a very 
loose and incorrect account of my travels, with direction to hire some young 
gentleman of either University to put them in order and correct the style, as 
my cousin Dampier did by my advice in his book called "A Voyage Round the 
World." But I do not remember I gave you power to consent that anything should 
be omitted, and much less that anything should be inserted; therefore, as to 
the latter, I do here renounce everything of that kind, particularly a 
paragraph about her Majesty Queen Anne, of most pious and glorious memory, 
although I did reverence and esteem her more than any of human species. But 
you, or your interpolator, ought to have considered that as it was not my 
inclination, so was it not decent to praise any animal of our composition 
before my master Houyhnhnm; and, besides, the fact was altogether false, for 
to my knowledge, being in England during some part of her Majesty's reign, she 
did govern by a chief Minister; nay, even by two successively, the first 
whereof was the Lord of Godolphin, and the second the Lord of Oxford, so that 
you have made me say the thing that was not. Likewise in the account of the 
Academy of Projectors, and several passages of my discourse to my master 
Houyhnhnm, you have either omitted some material circumstances, or minced or 
changed them in such a manner that I do hardly know my own work. When I 
formerly hinted to you something of this in a letter, you were pleased to 
answer "That you were afraid of giving offence; that people in power were very 
watchful over the press, and apt not only to interpret but to punish 
everything which looked like an innuendo" (as I think you call it). But pray 
how could that which I spoke so many years ago, and at above five-thousand 
leagues' distance, in another reign, be applied to any of the Yahoos who now 
are said to govern the herd, especially at a time when I little thought or 
feared the unhappiness of living under them? Have not I the most reason to 
complain when I see these very Yahoos carried by Houyhnhnms in a vehicle as if 
they were brutes, and those the rational creatures? And, indeed, to avoid so 
monstrous and detestable a sight was one principal motive of my retirement 
hither.
This much I thought proper to tell you in relation to yourself and to the 
trust I reposed in you.
I do in the next place complain of my own great want of judgment in being 
prevailed upon by the entreaties and false reasonings of you and some others, 
very much against my own opinion, to suffer my travels to be published. Pray 
bring to your mind how often I desired you to consider, when you insisted on 
the motive of public good, that the Yahoos were a species of animals utterly 
incapable of amendment by precepts or example, and so it has proved; for, 
instead of seeing a full stop put to all abuses and corruptions, at least in 
this little island, as I had reason to expect, behold, after above six months' 
warning, I cannot learn that my book has produced one single effect according 
to my intentions. I desired you would let me know by a letter when party and 
faction were extinguished, judges learned and upright, pleaders honest and 
modest, with some tincture of commonsense, and Smithfield blazing with 
pyramids of law books; the young nobility's education entirely changed; the 
physicians banished; the female Yahoos abounding in virtue, honour, truth, and 
good sense; Courts and levees of great Ministers thoroughly weeded and swept; 
wit, merit, and learning rewarded; all disgracers of the press in prose and 
verse condemned to eat nothing but their own cotton, and quench their thirst 
with their own ink. These and a thousand other reformations I firmly counted 
upon by your encouragement, as, indeed, they were plainly deducible from the 
precepts delivered in my book. And it must be owned that seven months were a 
sufficient time to correct every vice and folly to which Yahoos are subject if 
their natures had been capable of the least disposition to virtue or wisdom. 
Yet so far have you been from answering my expectation in any of your letters, 
that on the contrary you are loading our carrier every week with libels, and 
keys, and reflections, and memoirs, and second parts, wherein I see myself 
accused of reflecting upon great State folks; of degrading human nature (for 
so they have still the confidence to style it), and of abusing the female sex. 
I find likewise that the writers of those bundles are not agreed among 
themselves, for some of them will not allow me to be the author of my own 
travels, and others make me author of books to which I am wholly a stranger.
I find likewise that your printer has been so careless as to confound the 
times and mistake the dates of my several voyages and returns, neither 
assigning the true year, nor the true month, nor day of the month, and I hear 
the original manuscript is all destroyed since the publication of my book; 
neither have I any copy left. However, I have sent you some corrections, which 
you may insert, if ever there should be a second edition; and yet I cannot 
stand to them, but shall leave that matter to my judicious and candid readers 
to adjust it as they please.
I hear some of our sea-Yahoos find fault with my sea-language as not proper in 
many parts nor now in use. I cannot help it. In my first voyages, while I was 
young, I was instructed by the oldest mariners, and learned to speak as they 
did; but I have since found that the sea-Yahoos are apt, like the land ones, 
to become newfangled in their words, which the latter change every year, 
insomuch as I remember upon each return to my own country their old dialect 
was so altered that I could hardly understand the new. And I observe when any 
Yahoos come from London out of curiosity to visit me at my house, we neither 
of us are able to deliver our conceptions in a manner intelligible to the other.
If the censure of the Yahoos could any way affect me I should have great 
reason to complain that some of them are so bold as to think my book of 
travels a mere fiction out of mine own brain, and have gone so far as to drop 
hints that the Houyhnhnms and Yahoos have no more existence that the 
inhabitants of Utopia.
Indeed, I must confess that as to the people of Lilliput, Brobdingrag (for so 
the word should have been spelt, and not erroneously Brobdingnag), and Laputa, 
I have never yet heard of any Yahoo so presumptuous as to dispute their being 
or the facts I have related concerning them, because the truth immediately 
strikes every reader with conviction. And is there less probability in my 
account of the Houyhnhnms or Yahoos, when it is manifest as to the latter 
there are so many thousands even in this country who only differ from their 
brother brutes in Houyhnhnmland because they use a sort of jabber and do not 
go naked? I wrote for their amendment and not their approbation. The united 
praise of the whole race would be of less consequence to me than the neighing 
of those two degenerate Houyhnhnms I keep in my stable; because from these, 
degenerate as they are, I still improve in some virtues without any mixture of 
vice.
Do these miserable animals presume to think that I am so degenerated as to 
defend my veracity? Yahoo as I am, it is well known through all Houyhnhnmland 
that by the instructions and example of my illustrious master I was able in 
the compass of two years (although I confess with the utmost difficulty) to 
remove that infernal habit of lying, shuffling, deceiving, and equivocating, 
so deeply rooted in the very souls of all my species, especially the Europeans.
I have other complaints to make upon this vexatious occasion, but I forbear 
troubling myself or you any further. I must freely confess that since my last, 
some corruptions of my Yahoo nature have revived in me by conversing with a 
few of your species, and particularly those of my own family, by an 
unavoidable necessity, else I should never have attempted so absurd a project 
as that of reforming the Yahoo race in this kingdom; but I have now done with 
all such visionary schemes for ever.

April 2, 1727.


PART 1


A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT



Chapter 1

The Author gives some account of himself and family; his first inducements to 
travel. He is shipwrecked, and swims for his life. Gets safe on shore in the 
country of Lilliput. Is made a prisoner and carried up the country.


My father had a small estate in Nottinghamshire; I was the third of five sons. 
He sent me to Emmanuel College in Cambridge at fourteen years old, where I 
resided three years, and applied myself close to my studies; but the charge of 
maintaining me (although I had a very scanty allowance) being too great for a 
narrow fortune, I was bound apprentice to Mr. James Bates, an eminent surgeon 
in London, with whom I continued four years, and my father now and then 
sending me small sums of money, I laid them out in learning navigation and 
other parts of the mathematics useful to those who intend to travel, as I 
always believed it would be some time or other my fortune to do. When I left 
Mr. Bates, I went down to my father, where, by the assistance of him and my 
uncle John and some other relations, I got forty pounds, and a promise of 
thirty pounds a year to maintain me at Leyden; there I studied physics two 
years and seven months, knowing it would be useful in long voyages.
Soon after my return from Leyden, I was recommended by my good master Mr. 
Bates to be surgeon to the Swallow, Captain Abraham Pannell Commander, with 
whom I continued three years and a half, making a voyage or two into the 
Levant and some other parts. When I came back I resolved to settle in London, 
to which Mr. Bates, my master, encouraged me, and by him I was recommended to 
several patients. I took part of a small house in the Old Jewry, and, being 
advised to alter my condition, I married Mrs. Mary Burton, second daughter to 
Mr. Edmund Burton, hosier in Newgate Street, with whom I received four hundred 
pounds for a portion.
But my good master Bates dying in two years after, and I having few friends, 
my business began to fail; for my conscience would not suffer me to imitate 
the bad practice of too many among my brethren. Having, therefore, consulted 
with my wife and some of my acquaintances, I determined to go again to sea. I 
was surgeon successively in two ships, and made several voyages for six years 
to the East and West Indies, by which I got some addition to my fortune. My 
hours of leisure I spent in reading the best authors, ancient and modern, 
being always provided with a good number of books, and when I was ashore in 
observing the manners and dispositions of the people, as well as learning 
their language, wherein I had a great facility by the strength of my memory.
The last of these voyages not proving very fortunate, I grew weary of the sea, 
and intended to stay at home with my wife and family. I removed from the Old 
Jewry to Fetter Lane, and from thence to Wapping, hoping to get business among 
the sailors, but it would not turn to account. After three years' expectation 
that things would mend, I accepted an advantageous offer from Captain William 
Prichard, master of the Antelope, who was making a voyage to the South Sea. We 
set sail from Bristol, May 4, 1699, and our voyage at first was very prosperous.
It would not be proper, for some reasons, to trouble the reader with the 
particulars of our adventures in those seas; let it suffice to inform him that 
in our passage from thence to the East Indies we were driven by a violent 
storm to the north-west of Van Diemen's Land. By an observation we found 
ourselves in the latitude of 30 degrees 2 minutes south. Twelve of our crew 
were dead by immoderate labour and ill food; the rest were in a very weak 
condition. On the fifth of November, which was the beginning of summer in 
those parts, the weather being very hazy, the seamen spied a rock within half 
a cable's length of the ship, but the wind was so strong that we were driven 
directly upon it, and immediately split. Six of the crew, of whom I was one, 
having let down the boat into the sea, made a shift to get clear of the ship 
and the rock. We rowed by my computation about three leagues, till we were 
able to work no longer, being already spent with labour while we were in the 
ship. We therefore trusted ourselves to the mercy of the waves, and in about 
half an hour the boat was overset by a sudden flurry from the north. What 
became of my companions in the boat, as well as of those who escaped on the 
rock or were left in the vessel, I cannot tell, but conclude they were all 
lost. For my own part I swam as fortune directed me, and was pushed forward by 
wind and tide. I often let my legs drop, and could feel no bottom; but when I 
was almost gone and able to struggle no longer, I found myself within my 
depth; and by this time the storm was much abated. The declivity was so small 
that I walked near a mile before I got to the shore, which I conjectured was 
about eight o'clock in the evening. I then advanced forward near half a mile, 
but could not discover any sign of houses or inhabitants -at least, I was in 
so weak a condition that I did not observe them. I was extremely tired, and 
with that and the heat of the weather and about half a pint of brandy that I 
drank as I left the ship, I found myself much inclined to sleep. I lay down on 
the grass, which was very short and soft, where I slept sounder than ever I 
remember to have done in my life, and as I reckoned above nine hours, for when 
I awaked it was just daylight. I attempted to rise, but was not able to stir, 
for as I happened to lie on my back, I found my arms and legs were strongly 
fastened on each side to the ground, and my hair, which was long and thick, 
tied down in the same manner. I likewise felt several slender ligatures across 
my body from my armpits to my thighs. I could only look upwards; the sun began 
to grow hot and the light offended mine eyes. I heard a confused noise about 
me, but in the posture I lay could see nothing except the sky. In a little 
time I felt something alive moving on my left leg, which, advancing gently 
forward over my breast, came almost up to my chin, when, bending mine eyes 
downwards as much as I could, I perceived it to be a human creature not six 
inches high, with a bow and arrow in his hands and a quiver at his back. In 
the meantime I felt at least forty more of the same kind (as I conjectured) 
following the first. I was in the utmost astonishment, and roared so loud that 
they all ran back in a fright; and some of them, as I was afterwards told, 
were hurt with the falls they got by leaping from my sides upon the ground. 
However, they soon returned, and one of them, who ventured so far as to get a 
full sight of my face, lifting up his hands and eyes by way of admiration, 
cried out in a shrill, but distinct voice, "Hekinah degul!" The others 
repeated the same words several times, but I then knew not what they meant. I 
lay all this while, as the reader may believe, in great uneasiness; at length, 
struggling to get loose, I had the fortune to break the strings and wrench out 
the pegs that fastened my left arm to the ground, for, by lifting it up to my 
face, I discovered the methods they had taken to bind me, and at the same 
time, with a violent pull, which gave me excessive pain, I a little loosened 
the strings that tied down my hair on the left side, so that I was just able 
to turn my head about two inches. But the creatures ran off a second time 
before I could seize them, whereupon there was a great shout in a very shrill 
accent, and after it ceased I heard one of them cry aloud, "Tolgo phonac!" 
when in an instant I felt above one hundred arrows discharged on my left hand, 
which pricked me like so many needles, and, besides, they shot another flight 
into the air, as we do bombs in Europe, whereof many, I suppose, fell on my 
body (though I felt them not) and some on my face, which I immediately covered 
with my left hand. When this shower of arrows was over, I fell a-groaning with 
grief and pain: and then, striving again to get loose, they discharged another 
volley larger than the first, and some of them attempted with spears to stick 
me in the sides, but by good luck I had on me a buff jerkin which they could 
not pierce. I thought it the most prudent method to lie still, and my design 
was to continue so till night when, my left hand being already loose, I could 
easily free myself; and as for the inhabitants, I had reason to believe I 
might be a match for the greatest armies they could bring against me if they 
were all of the same size with him that I saw. But fortune disposed otherwise 
of me. When the people observed I was quiet they discharged no more arrows; 
but by the noise I heard I knew their numbers increased, and about four yards 
from me, over against my right ear, I heard a knocking for above an hour, like 
that of people at work, when, turning my head that way as well as the pegs and 
strings would permit me, I saw a stage erected about a foot and a half from 
the ground; capable of holding four of the inhabitants, with two or three 
ladders to mount it, from whence one of them, who seemed to be a person of 
quality, made me a long speech, whereof I understood not one syllable. But I 
should have mentioned that before the principal person began his oration, he 
cried out three times "Langro dehul san!" (these words and the former were 
afterwards repeated and explained to me). Whereupon immediately about fifty of 
the inhabitants came and cut the strings that fastened the left side of my 
head, which gave me the liberty of turning it to the right, and of observing 
the person and gesture of him that was to speak. He appeared to be of a middle 
age and taller than any of the other three who attended him, whereof one was a 
page that held up his train, and seemed to be somewhat longer than my middle 
finger; the other two stood one on each side to support him. He acted every 
part of an orator, and I could observe many periods of threatenings, and 
others of promises, pity and kindness. I answered in a few words, but in the 
most submissive manner, lifting up my left hand and both mine eyes to the sun 
as calling him for a witness, and, being almost famished with hunger, having 
not eaten a morsel for some hours before I left the ship, I found the demands 
of nature so strong upon me that I could not forbear showing my impatience 
(perhaps against the strict rules of decency) by putting my finger frequently 
on my mouth, to signify that I wanted food.
The Hurgo (for so they call a great lord, as I afterwards learnt) understood 
me very well. He descended from the stage and commanded that several ladders 
should be applied to my sides, on which above one hundred of the inhabitants 
mounted and walked towards my mouth, laden with baskets full of meat, which 
had been provided and sent thither by the King's orders upon the first 
intelligence he received of me. I observed there was the flesh of several 
animals, but could not distinguish them by the taste. There were shoulders, 
legs, and loins shaped like those of mutton, and very well dressed, but 
smaller than the wings of a lark. I ate them by two or three at a mouthful, 
and took three loaves at a time, about the bigness of musket balls. They 
supplied me as they could, showing a thousand marks of wonder and astonishment 
at my bulk and appetite. I then made another sign that I wanted drink. They 
found by my eating that a small quantity would not suffice me, and, being a 
most ingenious people, they slung up with great dexterity one of their largest 
hogsheads, then rolled it towards my hand and beat out the top. I drank it off 
at a draught, which I might well do, for it did not hold half a pint, and 
tasted like a small wine of Burgundy, but much more delicious. They brought me 
a second hogshead, which I drank in the same manner, and made signs for more, 
but they had none to give me. When I had performed these wonders they shouted 
for joy and danced upon my breast, repeating several times as they did at 
first, "Hekinah degul." They made me a sign that I should throw down the two 
hogsheads, but first warning the people below to stand out of the way, crying 
aloud "Borach mivola!" and when they saw the vessels in the air, there was a 
universal shout of "Hekinah degul!" I confess I was often tempted, while they 
were passing backwards and forwards on my body, to seize forty or fifty of the 
first that came in my reach and dash them against the ground. But the 
remembrance of what I had felt, which probably might not be the worst they 
could do, and the promise of honour I made them, for so I interpreted my 
submissive behaviour, soon drove out these imaginations. Besides, I now 
considered myself as bound by the laws of hospitality to a people who had 
treated me with so much expense and magnificence. However, in my thoughts I 
could not sufficiently wonder at the intrepidity of these diminutive mortals, 
who durst venture to mount and walk upon my body while one of my hands was at 
liberty, without trembling at the very sight of so prodigious a creature as I 
must appear to them. After some time, when they observed that I made no more 
demands for meat, there appeared before me a person of high rank from his 
Imperial Majesty. His Excellency, having mounted on the small of my right leg, 
advanced forwards up to my face with about a dozen of his retinue. And 
producing his credentials under the signet royal, which he applied close to 
mine eyes, spoke about ten minutes without any signs of anger, but with a kind 
of determinate resolution, often pointing forwards, which, as I afterwards 
found, was towards the capital city, about half a mile distant, whither it was 
agreed by his Majesty in council that I must be conveyed. I answered in few 
words, but to no purpose, and made a sign with my hand that was loose, putting 
it to the other (but over his Excellency's head, for fear of hurting him or 
his train), and then to my own head and body, to signify that I desired my 
liberty. It appeared that he understood me well enough, for he shook his head 
by way of disapprobation, and held his hand in a posture to show that I must 
be carried as a prisoner. However, he made other signs to let me understand 
that I should have meat and drink enough and very good treatment. Whereupon I 
once more thought of attempting to break my bonds, but again, when I felt the 
smart of their arrows upon my face and hands, which were all in blisters and 
many of the darts still sticking in them, and observing likewise that the 
number of my enemies increased, I gave tokens to let them know that they might 
do with me what they pleased. Upon this the Hurgo and his train withdrew with 
much civility and cheerful countenances. Soon after I heard a general shout, 
with frequent repetitions of the words, "Peplom selan," and I felt great 
numbers of the people on my left side, relaxing the cords to such a degree 
that I was able to turn upon my right and to ease myself with making water, 
which I very plentifully did, to the great astonishment of the people, who, 
conjecturing by my motions what I was going to do, immediately opened to the 
right and left on that side to avoid the torrent which fell with such noise 
and violence from me. But before this they had daubed my face and both my 
hands with a sort of ointment, very pleasant to the smell, which in a few 
minutes removed all the smart of their arrows. These circumstances, added to 
the refreshment I had received by their victuals and drink, which were very 
nourishing, disposed me to sleep. I slept about eight hours, as I was 
afterwards assured, and it was no wonder, for the physicians, by the Emperor's 
order, had mingled a sleepy potion in the hogsheads of wine.
It seems that upon the first moment I was discovered sleeping on the ground 
after my landing, the Emperor had early notice of it by an express, and 
determined in council that I should be tied in the manner I have related 
(which was done in the night while I slept), that plenty of meat and drink 
should be sent to me, and a machine prepared to carry me to the capital city.
This resolution, perhaps, may appear very bold and dangerous, and I am 
confident would not be imitated by any prince in Europe on the like occasion; 
however, in my opinion, it was extremely prudent as well as generous. For 
supposing these people had endeavoured to kill me with their spears and arrows 
while I was asleep, I should certainly have waked with the first sense of 
smart, which might so far have roused my rage and strength as to have enabled 
me to break the strings wherewith I was tied, after which, as they were not 
able to make resistance, so they could expect no mercy.
These people are most excellent mathematicians, and arrived to a great 
perfection in mechanics by the countenance and encouragement of the Emperor, 
who is a renowned patron of learning. This Prince hath several machines fixed 
on wheels for the carriage of trees and other great weights. He often builds 
his largest men-of-war, whereof some are nine feet long, in the woods where 
the timber grows, and has them carried on these engines three or four hundred 
yards to the sea. Five hundred carpenters and engineers were immediately set 
at work to prepare the greatest engine they had. It was a frame of wood raised 
three inches from the ground, about seven feet long and four wide, moving upon 
twenty-two wheels. The shout I heard was upon the arrival of this engine, 
which, it seems, set out in four hours after my landing. It was brought 
parallel to me as I lay; but the principal difficulty was to raise and place 
me in this vehicle. Eighty poles, each of I foot high, were erected for this 
purpose, and very strong cords of the bigness of pack-thread were fastened by 
hooks to many bandages, which the workmen had girt round my neck, my hands, my 
body, and my legs. Nine hundred of the strongest men were employed to draw up 
these cords by many pulleys fastened on the poles, and thus in less than three 
hours I was raised and slung into the engine, and there tied fast. All this I 
was told, for while the whole operation was performing I lay in a profound 
sleep by the force of that soporiferous medicine infused into my liquor. 
Fifteen hundred of the Emperor's largest horses, each about four inches and a 
half high, were employed to draw me towards the metropolis, which, as I said, 
was half a mile distant.
About four hours after we began our journey I awakened by a very ridiculous 
accident, for, the carriage being stopped awhile to adjust something that was 
out of order, two or three of the young natives had the curiosity to see how I 
looked when I was asleep; they climbed up into the engine, and advancing very 
softly to my face, one of them, an officer in the Guards, put the sharp end of 
his half-pike a good way up into my left nostril, which tickled my nose like a 
straw and made me sneeze violently, whereupon they stole off unperceived, and 
it was three weeks before I knew the cause of my awaking so suddenly. We made 
a long march the remaining part of that day, and rested at night with five 
hundred guards on each side of me, half with torches, and half with bows and 
arrows, ready to shoot me if I should offer to stir. The next morning at 
sunrise we continued our march, and arrived within two hundred yards of the 
city gates about noon. The Emperor and all his Court came out to meet us, but 
his great officers would by no means suffer his Majesty to endanger his person 
by mounting on my body.
At the place where the carriage stopped there stood an ancient temple, 
esteemed to be the largest in the whole kingdom, which, having been polluted 
some years before by an unnatural murder, was, according to the zeal of those 
people, looked on as profane, and therefore had been applied to common use, 
and all the ornaments and furniture carried away. In this edifice it was 
determined I should lodge. The great gate fronting to the north was about four 
feet high and almost two feet wide, through which I could easily creep. On 
each side of the gate was a small window not above six inches from the ground; 
into that on the left side the King's smiths conveyed fourscore and eleven 
chains, like those that hang to a lady's watch in Europe, and almost as large, 
which were locked to my left leg with six-and-thirty padlocks. Over against 
this temple, on the other side of the great highway at twenty feet distance, 
there was a turret at least five feet high. Here the Emperor ascended with 
many principal lords of his Court to have an opportunity of viewing me, as I 
was told, for I could not see them. It was reckoned that above a hundred-
thousand inhabitants came out of the town upon the same errand, and, in spite 
of my guards, I believe there could not be fewer than ten-thousand, at several 
times, who mounted upon my body by the help of ladders. But a proclamation was 
soon issued to forbid it upon pain of death. When the workmen found it was 
impossible for me to break loose, they cut all the strings that bound me, 
whereupon I rose up with as melancholy a disposition as ever I had in my life. 
But the noise and astonishment of the people at seeing me rise and walk are 
not to be expressed. The chains that held my left leg were about two yards 
long, and gave me not only the liberty of walking backwards and forwards in a 
semicircle, but, being fixed within four inches of the gate, allowed me to 
creep in and lie at my full length in the temple.


Chapter 2

The Emperor of Lilliput, attended by several of the nobility, comes to see the 
Author in his confinement. The Emperor's person and habit described. Learned 
men appointed to teach the Author their language. He gains favour by his mild 
disposition. His pockets are searched, and his sword and pistols are taken 
from him.


When I found myself on my feet I looked about me, and must confess I never 
beheld a more entertaining prospect. The country round appeared like a 
continued garden, and the enclosed fields, which were generally forty feet 
square, resembled so many beds of flowers. These fields were intermingled with 
woods of half a stang, and the tallest trees, as I could judge, appeared to be 
seven feet high. I viewed the town on my left hand, which looked like the 
painted scene of a city in a theatre.
I had been for some hours extremely pressed by the necessities of nature, 
which was no wonder, it being almost two days since I had last disburthened 
myself. I was under great difficulties between urgency and shame. The best 
expedient I could think on was to creep into my house, which I accordingly 
did, and, shutting the gate after me, I went as far as the length of my chain 
would suffer, and discharged my body of that uneasy load. But this was the 
only time I was ever guilty of so uncleanly an action, for which I cannot but 
hope the candid reader will give some allowance after he hath maturely and 
impartially considered my case and the distress I was in. From this time my 
constant practice was, as soon as I rose, to perform that business in open air 
at the full extent of my chain, and due care was taken every morning, before 
company came, that the offensive matter should be carried off in wheelbarrows 
by two servants appointed for that purpose. I would not have dwelt so long 
upon a circumstance that, perhaps, at first sight may appear not very 
momentous if I had not thought it necessary to justify my character in point 
of cleanliness to the world, which I am told some of my maligners have been 
pleased upon this and other occasions to call in question.
When this adventure was at an end I came back out of my house, having occasion 
for fresh air. The Emperor was already descended from the tower, and, 
advancing on horseback towards me, which had like to have cost him dear, for 
the beast, though very well trained, yet wholly unused at such a sight, which 
appeared as if a mountain moved before him, reared up on his hinder-feet; but 
that Prince, who is an excellent horseman, kept his seat till his attendants 
ran in and held the bridle while his Majesty had time to dismount. When he 
alighted he surveyed me round with great admiration, but kept without the 
length of my chain. He ordered his cooks and butlers, who were already 
prepared, to give me victuals and drink, which they pushed forward in a sort 
of vehicles upon wheels till I could reach them. I took these vehicles and 
soon emptied them all; twenty of them were filled with meat and ten with 
liquor: each of the former afforded me two or three good mouthfuls, and I 
emptied the liquor of ten vessels, which was contained in earthen vials, into 
one vehicle, drinking it off at a draught, and so I did with the rest. The 
Empress and young Princes of the blood, of both sexes, attended by many 
ladies, sat at some distance in their chairs, but upon the accident that 
happened to the Emperor's horse they alighted and came near his person, which 
I am now going to describe. He is taller by almost the breadth of my nail than 
any of his Court, which alone is enough to strike an awe into the beholders. 
His features are strong and masculine; with an Austrian lip and arched nose; 
his complexion olive; his countenance erect; his body and limbs well 
proportioned, all his motions graceful, and his deportment majestic. He was 
then past his prime, being twenty-eight years and three-quarters old, of which 
he had reigned about seven in great felicity and generally victorious. For the 
better convenience of beholding him I lay on my side, so that my face was 
parallel to his, and he stood but three yards off; however, I have had him 
since many times in my hand, and therefore cannot be deceived in the 
description. His dress was very plain and simple, and the fashion of it 
between the Asiatic and the European, but he had on his head a light helmet of 
gold adorned with jewels, and a plume on the crest. He held his sword drawn in 
his hand to defend himself if I should happen to break loose; it was almost 
three inches long, the hilt and scabbard were gold enriched with diamonds; his 
voice was shrill, but very clear and articulate, and I could distinctly hear 
it when I stood up. The ladies and courtiers were all most magnificently clad, 
so that the spot they stood upon seemed to resemble a petticoat spread on the 
ground, embroidered with figures of gold and silver. His Imperial Majesty 
spoke often to me, and I returned answers, but neither of us could understand 
a syllable. There were several of his priests and lawyers present (as I 
conjectured by their habits), who were commanded to address themselves to me, 
and I spoke to them in as many languages as I had the least smattering of, 
which were high and low Dutch, Latin, French, Spanish, Italian, and Lingua 
Franca, but all to no purpose. After about two hours the Court retired, and I 
was left with a strong guard to prevent the impertinence and probably the 
malice of the rabble, who were very impatient to crowd about me as near as 
they durst, and some of them had the impudence to shoot their arrows at me as 
I sat on the ground by the door of my house, whereof one very narrowly missed 
my left eye. But the Colonel ordered six of the ringleaders to be seized, and 
thought no punishment so proper as to deliver them bound into my hands, which 
some of his soldiers accordingly did, pushing them forward with the butt-ends 
of their pikes into my reach. I took them all in my right hand, put five of 
them into my coat-pocket, and as to the sixth, I made a countenance as if I 
would eat him alive. The poor man squalled terribly, and the Colonel and his 
officers were in much pain, especially when they saw me take out my penknife; 
but I soon put them out of fear, for, looking mildly and immediately cutting 
the strings he was bound with, I set him gently on the ground, and away he 
ran. I treated the rest in the same manner, taking them one by one out of my 
pocket, and I observed both soldiers and the people were highly obliged at 
this mark of my clemency, which was represented very much to my advantage at 
Court.
Towards night I got with some difficulty into my house, where I lay on the 
ground, and continued to do so about a fortnight, during which time the 
Emperor gave orders to have a bed prepared for me. Six hundred beds of the 
common measure were brought in carriages and worked up in my house; one 
hundred and fifty of their beds sewn together made up the breadth and length, 
and these were four double, which, however, kept me but very indifferently 
from the hardness of the floor, that was of smooth stone. By the same 
computation they provided me with sheets, blankets, and coverlets, tolerable 
enough for one who had been so long inured to hardships as I.
As the news of my arrival spread through the kingdom, it brought prodigious 
numbers of rich idle, and curious people to see me, so that the villages were 
almost emptied, and great neglect of tillage and household affairs must have 
ensued if his Imperial Majesty had not provided by several proclamations and 
orders of State against this inconveniency. He directed that those who had 
already beheld me should return home, and not presume to come within fifty 
yards of my house without license from Court, whereby the Secretaries of State 
got considerable fees.
In the meantime the Emperor held frequent Councils to debate what course 
should be taken with me, and I was afterwards assured by a particular friend, 
a person of great quality, who was looked upon to be as much in the secret as 
any, that the Court was under many difficulties concerning me. They 
apprehended my breaking loose, that my diet would be very expensive and might 
cause a famine. Sometimes they determined to starve me, or at least to shoot 
me in the face and hands with poisoned arrows, which would soon despatch me. 
But again, they considered that the stench of so large a carcass might produce 
a plague in the metropolis, and probably spread through the whole kingdom. In 
the midst of these consultations several officers of the army went to the door 
of the great Council Chamber, and two of them, being admitted, gave an account 
of my behaviour to the six criminals above-mentioned, which made so favourable 
an impression in the breast of his Majesty and the whole Board in my behalf 
that an Imperial Commission was issued out, obliging all the villages nine 
hundred yards round the city to deliver in every morning six beeves, forty 
sheep, and other victuals for my sustenance, together with a proportionable 
quantity of bread and wine and other liquors, for the due payment of which his 
Majesty gave assignments upon his Treasury. For this Prince lives chiefly upon 
his own demesnes, seldom, except upon great occasions, raising any subsidies 
upon his subjects, who are bound to attend him in his wars at their own 
expense. An establishment was also made of six hundred persons to be my 
domestics, who had board-wages allowed for their maintenance, and tents built 
for them very conveniently on each side of my door. It was likewise ordered 
that three hundred tailors should make me a suit of clothes after the fashion 
of the country; that six of his Majesty's greatest scholars should be employed 
to instruct me in their language; and, lastly, that the Emperor's horses, and 
those of the nobility and troops of guards, should be frequently exercised in 
my sight to accustom themselves to me. All these orders were duly put in 
execution, and in about three weeks I made a great progress in learning their 
language, during which time the Emperor frequently honoured me with his 
visits, and was pleased to assist my masters in teaching me. We began already 
to converse together in some sort, and the first words I learnt were to 
express my desire that he would please to give me my liberty, which I every 
day repeated on my knees. His answer, as I could apprehend it, was that this 
must be a work of time, not to be thought on without the advice of Council, 
and that first I must `lumos kelmin pesso desmar lon emposo' -that is, swear a 
peace with him and his kingdom. However, that I should be used with all 
kindness, and he advised me to acquire by my patience and discreet behaviour 
the good opinion of himself and his subjects. He desired I would not take it 
ill if he gave orders to certain proper officers to search me, for probably I 
might carry about me several weapons which must needs be dangerous things if 
they answered the bulk of so prodigious a person. I said his Majesty should be 
satisfied, for I was ready to strip myself and turn up my pockets before him. 
This I delivered part in words and part in signs. He replied that, by the laws 
of the kingdom, I must be searched by two of his officers; that he knew this 
could not be done without my consent and assistance; that he had so good an 
opinion of my generosity and justice as to trust their persons in my hands; 
that whatever they took from me should be returned when I left the country, or 
paid for at the rate which I would set upon them. I took up the two officers 
in my hands, put them first into my coat-pockets, and then into every other 
pocket about me, except my two fobs and another secret pocket I had no mind 
should be searched, wherein I had some little necessaries that were of no 
consequence to any but myself. In one of my fobs there was a silver watch and 
in the other a small quantity of gold in a purse. These gentlemen, having pen, 
ink, and paper about them, made an exact inventory of everything they saw, and 
when they had done, desired I would set them down that they might deliver it 
to the Emperor. This inventory I afterwards translated into English, and is 
word for word as follows:

Imprimis, in the right coat-pocket of the Great Man Mountain (for so I 
interpret the words Quinbus Flestrin), after the strictest search, we found 
only one great piece of coarse cloth, large enough to be a footcloth for your 
Majesty's chief room of State. In the left pocket we saw a huge silver chest, 
with a cover of the same metal, which we (the searchers) were not able to 
lift. We desired it should be opened, and one of us, stepping into it, found 
himself up to the mid-leg in a sort of dust, some part of whereof flying up to 
our faces set us both a-sneezing for several times together. In his right 
waistcoat-pocket we found a prodigious bundle of white, thin substances, 
folded one over another, about the bigness of three men, tied with a strong 
cable and marked with black figures, which we humbly conceive to be writings, 
every letter almost half as large as the palm of our hands. In the left there 
was a sort of engine, from the back of which were extended twenty long poles, 
resembling the palisadoes before your Majesty's Court, wherewith we conjecture 
the Man Mountain combs his head, for we did not always trouble him with 
questions, because we found it a great difficulty to make him understand us. 
In the large pocket on the right side of his middle cover (so I translate the 
word Ranfu-lo, by which they meant my breeches) we saw a hollow pillar of 
iron, about the length of a man, fastened to a strong piece of timber, larger 
than the pillar, and upon one side of the pillar were huge pieces of iron 
sticking out cut into strange figures, which we know not what to make of. In 
the left pocket another engine of the same kind. In the smaller pocket on the 
right side, were several round flat pieces of white and red metal of different 
bulk; some of the white, which seemed to be silver, were so large and heavy 
that my comrade and I could hardly lift them. In the left pocket were two 
black pillars irregulary shaped; we could not, without difficulty, reach the 
top of them as we stood at the bottom of his pocket. One of them was covered 
and seemed all of a piece, but at the upper end of the other there appeared a 
white round substance about twice the bigness of our heads. Within each of 
these was enclosed a prodigious plate of steel, which, by our orders, we 
obliged him to show us, because we apprehended they might be dangerous 
engines. He took them out of their cases, and told us that, in his own 
country, his practice was to shave his beard with one of these and to cut his 
meat with the other. There were two pockets which we could not enter: these he 
called his fobs; they were two large slits cut into the top of his middle 
cover, but squeezed close by the pressure of his belly. Out of the right fob 
hung a great silver chain with a wonderful kind of engine at the bottom. We 
directed him to draw out whatever was fastened to that chain, which appeared 
to be a globe, half silver and half of some transparent metal; for on the 
transparent side we saw certain strange figures circularly drawn, and thought 
we could touch them till we found our fingers stopped by that lucid substance. 
He put this engine to our ears, which made an incessant noise like that of a 
water-mill; and we conjecture it is either some unknown animal, or the god 
that he worships; but we are more inclined to the latter opinion, because he 
assured us (if we understood him right, for he expressed himself very 
imperfectly) that he seldom did anything without consulting it. He called it 
his oracle, and said it pointed out the time for every action of his life. 
From the left fob he took out a net almost large enough for a fisherman, but 
contrived to open and shut like a purse, and served him for the same use. We 
found therein several massy pieces of yellow metal, which, if they be real 
gold, must be of immense value.
Having thus, in obedience to your Majesty's commands, diligently searched all 
his pockets, we observed a girdle about his waist made of the hide of some 
prodigious animal, from which, on the left side, hung a sword of the length of 
five men, and on the right a bag or pouch divided into two cells, each cell 
capable of holding three of your Majesty's subjects. In one of these cells 
were several globes or balls of a most ponderous metal, about the bigness of 
our heads, and required a strong hand to lift them. The other cell contained a 
heap of certain black grains, but of no great bulk or weight, for we could 
hold above fifty of them in the palms of our hands.
This is an exact inventory of what we found about the body of the Man 
Mountain, who used us with great civility and due respect to your Majesty's 
commission. Signed and sealed on the fourth day of the eighty-ninth moon of 
your Majesty's auspicious reign.
CLEFVEN FRELOCK -MARSI FRELOCK.

When this inventory was read over to the Emperor, he directed me, although in 
very gentle terms, to deliver up the several particulars. He first called for 
my scimitar, which I took out, scabbard and all. In the meantime he ordered 
three-thousand of his choicest troops (who then attended him) to surround me 
at a distance, with their bows and arrows just ready to discharge; but I did 
not observe it, for my eyes were wholly fixed upon his Majesty. He then 
desired me to draw my scimitar, which, although it had got some rust by the 
seawater, was in most parts exceeding bright. I did so, and immediately all 
the troops gave a shout between terror and surprise, for the sun shone clear, 
and the reflection dazzled their eyes as I waved the scimitar to and fro in my 
hand. His Majesty, who is a most magnanimous Prince, was less daunted than I 
could expect; he ordered me to return it into the scabbard and cast it on the 
ground as gently as I could, about six foot from the end of my chain. The next 
thing he demanded was one of the hollow iron pillars, by which he meant my 
pocket-pistols. I drew it out, and at his desire, as well as I could, 
expressed to him the use of it; and, charging it only with powder, which by 
the closeness of my pouch happened to escape wetting in the sea (an 
inconvenience against which all prudent mariners take special care to 
provide), I first cautioned the Emperor not to be afraid, and then I let it 
off in the air. The astonishment here was much greater than at the sight of my 
scimitar. Hundreds fell down as if they had been struck dead; and even the 
Emperor, although he stood his ground, could not recover himself in some time. 
I delivered up both my pistols in the same manner as I had done my scimitar, 
and then my pouch of powder and bullets, begging him that the former might be 
kept from the fire, for it would kindle with the smallest spark and blow up 
his Imperial Palace into the air. I likewise delivered up my watch, which the 
Emperor was very curious to see, and commanded two of his tallest yeomen of 
the Guards to bear it on a pole upon their shoulders, as draymen in England do 
a barrel of ale. He was amazed at the continual noise it made, and the motion 
of the minute-hand, which he could easily discern -for their sight is much 
more acute than ours -and asked the opinions of his learned men about him, 
which were various and remote, as the reader may well imagine without my 
repeating, although, indeed, I could not very perfectly understand them. I 
then gave up my silver and copper money; my purse, with nine large pieces of 
gold and some smaller ones; my knife and razor, my comb and silver snuffbox; 
my handkerchief and journal-book. My scimitar, pistols and pouch were conveyed 
in carriages to his Majesty's stores; but the rest of my goods were returned 
to me.
I had, as I before observed, one private pocket which escaped their search, 
wherein there was a pair of spectacles (which I sometimes use for the weakness 
of mine eyes), a pocket-perspective, and several other little conveniences, 
which, being of no consequence to the Emperor, I did not think myself bound in 
honour to discover, and I apprehended they might be lost or spoiled if I 
ventured them out of my possession.


Chapter 3

The Author diverts the Emperor and his nobility of both sexes in a very 
uncommon manner. The diversions of the Court of Lilliput described. The Author 
has his liberty granted him upon certain conditions.



My gentleness and good behaviour had gained so far on the Emperor and his 
Court, and, indeed, upon the army and people in general, that I began to 
conceive hopes of getting my liberty in a short time. I took all possible 
methods to cultivate this favourable disposition. The natives came by degrees 
to be less apprehensive of any danger from me. I would sometimes lie down and 
let five or six of them dance on my hand. And at last the boys and girls would 
venture to come and play at hide-and-seek in my hair. I had now made a good 
progress in understanding and speaking their language. The Emperor had a mind 
one day to entertain me with several of the country shows, wherein they exceed 
all nations I have known, both for dexterity and magnificence. I was diverted 
with none so much as that of the rope-dancers, performed upon a slender white 
thread extended about two feet and twelve inches from the ground, upon which I 
shall desire liberty, with the reader's patience, to enlarge a little.
This diversion is only practised by those persons who are candidates for great 
employments and high favour at Court. They are trained in this art from their 
youth, and are not always of noble birth or liberal education. When a great 
office is vacant either by death or disgrace (which often happens), five or 
six of those candidates petition the Emperor to entertain his Majesty and the 
Court with a dance on the rope, and whoever jumps the highest without falling 
succeeds in the office. Very often the chief Ministers themselves are 
commanded to show their skill, and to convince the Emperor that they have not 
lost their faculty. Flimnap, the treasurer, is allowed to cut a caper on the 
straight rope at least an inch higher than any other lord in the whole empire. 
I have seen him do the somerset several times together upon a trencher fixed 
on the rope, which is no thicker than a common pack-thread in England. My 
friend Reldresal, Principal Secretary for Private Affairs, is, in my opinion, 
if I am not partial, the second after the treasurer; the rest of the great 
officers are much upon a par.
These diversions are often attended with fatal accidents, whereof great 
numbers are on record. I myself have seen two or three candidates break a 
limb. But the danger is much greater when the Ministers themselves are 
commanded to show their dexterity; for, by contending to excel themselves and 
their fellows, they strain so far that there is hardly one of them who hath 
not received a fall, and some of them two or three. I was assured that a year 
or two before my arrival Flimnap would have infallibly broken his neck if one 
of the King's cushions, that accidentally lay on the ground, had not weakened 
the force of his fall.
There is likewise another diversion which is only shown before the Emperor and 
Empress and first Minister upon particular occasions. The Emperor lays on a 
table three fine silken threads of six inches long: one is purple, the other 
yellow, and the third white. These threads are proposed as prizes for those 
persons whom the Emperor hath a mind to distinguish by a peculiar mark of his 
favour. The ceremony is performed in his Majesty's great chamber of State, 
where the candidates are to undergo a trial of dexterity very different from 
the former, and such as I have not observed the least resemblance of in any 
other country of the old or the new world. The Emperor holds a stick in his 
hands, both ends parallel to the horizon, while the candidates, advancing one 
by one, sometimes leap over the stick, sometimes creep under it backwards and 
forwards several times, according as the stick is advanced or depressed. 
Sometimes the Emperor holds one end of the stick and his first Minister the 
other; sometimes the Minister has it entirely to himself. Whoever performs his 
part with most agility and holds out the longest in leaping and creeping is 
rewarded with the purple-coloured silk; the yellow is given to the next, and 
the white to the third, which they all wear girt twice round about the middle; 
and you see few great persons about this Court who are not adorned with one of 
these girdles.
The horses of the army and those of the royal stables, having been daily led 
before me, were no longer shy, but would come up to my very feet without 
starting. The riders would leap them over my hand as I held it on the ground, 
and one of the Emperor's huntsmen, upon a large courser, took my foot, shoe 
and all, which was indeed a prodigious leap. I had the good fortune to divert 
the Emperor one day after a very extraordinary manner. I desired he would 
order several sticks of two feet high and the thickness of an ordinary cane to 
be brought me; whereupon his Majesty commanded the Master of his Woods to give 
directions accordingly, and the next morning six woodmen arrived with as many 
carriages, drawn by eight horses to each. I took nine of these sticks, and, 
fixing them firmly in the ground in a quadrangular figure two feet and a half 
square, I took four other sticks and tied them parallel at each corner about 
two feet from the ground; then I fastened my handkerchief to the nine sticks 
that stood erect, and extended it on all sides till it was as tight as the top 
of a drum, and the four parallel sticks, rising about five inches higher than 
the handkerchief, served as ledges on each side. When I had finished my work I 
desired the Emperor to let a troop of his best horse, twenty-four in number, 
come and exercise upon this plain. His Majesty approved of the proposal, and I 
took them up one by one in my hands, ready mounted and armed, with the proper 
officers to exercise them. As soon as they got into order they divided into 
two parties, performed mock skirmishes, discharged blunt arrows, drew their 
swords, fled and pursued, attacked and retired, and, in short, discovered the 
best military discipline I ever beheld. The parallel sticks secured them and 
their horses from falling over the stage, and the Emperor was so much 
delighted that he ordered this entertainment to be repeated several days, and 
once was pleased to be lifted up and give the word of command; and, with great 
difficulty, persuaded even the Empress herself to let me hold her in her close 
chair within two yards of the stage, from whence she was able to take a full 
view of the whole performance. It was my good fortune that no ill accident 
happened in these entertainments, only once a fiery horse that belonged to one 
of the captains, pawing with his hoof, struck a hole in my handkerchief, and 
his foot slipping, he overthrew his rider and himself; but I immediately 
relieved them both, and, covering the hole with one hand, I set down the troop 
with the other in the same manner as I took them up. The horse that fell was 
strained in the left shoulder, but the rider got no hurt, and I repaired my 
handkerchief as well as I could; however, I would not trust to the strength of 
it any more in such dangerous enterprises.
About two or three days before I was set at liberty, as I was entertaining the 
Court with these kind of feats, there arrived an express to inform his Majesty 
that some of his subjects riding near the place where I was first taken up had 
seen a great black substance lying on the ground very oddly shaped, extending 
its edges round as wide as his Majesty's bedchamber, and rising up in the 
middle as high as a man; that it was no living creature, as they at first 
apprehended, for it lay on the grass without motion, and some of them had 
walked round it several times; that by mounting upon each other's shoulders 
they had got to the top, which was flat and even, and, stamping upon it, they 
found it was hollow within; that they humbly conceived it might be something 
belonging to the Man Mountain, and if his Majesty pleased they would undertake 
to bring it with only five horses. I presently knew what they meant, and was 
glad at heart to receive this intelligence. It seems upon my first reaching 
the shore after our shipwreck I was in such confusion that, before I came to 
the place where I went to sleep, my hat, which I had fastened with a string to 
my head while I was rowing, and had stuck on all the time I was swimming, fell 
off after I came to land, the string as I conjecture, breaking by some 
accident which I never observed, but thought my hat had been lost at sea. I 
entreated his Imperial Majesty to give orders it might be brought to me as 
soon as possible, describing to him the use and the nature of it; and the next 
day the waggoners arrived with it, but not in a very good condition; they had 
bored two holes in the brim, within an inch and a half of the edge, and 
fastened two hooks in the holes; these hooks were tied by a long cord to the 
harness, and thus my hat was dragged along for above half an English mile; but 
the ground in that country being extremely smooth and level, it received less 
damage than I expected.
Two days after this adventure the Emperor, having ordered that part of his 
army which quarters in and about his metropolis to be in readiness, took a 
fancy of diverting himself in a very singular manner. He desired I would stand 
like a Colossus, with my legs as far asunder as I conveniently could. He then 
commanded his General (who was an old, experienced leader, and a great patron 
of mine) to draw up the troops in close order and march them under me, the 
foot by twenty-four in a breast and the horse by sixteen, with drums beating, 
colours flying, and pikes advanced. This body consisted of three-thousand foot 
and a thousand horse. His Majesty gave orders, upon pain of death, that every 
soldier in his march should observe the strictest decency with regard to my 
person, which, however, could not prevent some of the younger officers from 
turning up their eyes as they passed under me. And, to confess the truth, my 
breeches were at that time in so ill a condition that they afforded some 
opportunities for laughter and admiration.
I had sent so many memorials and petitions for my liberty that his Majesty at 
length mentioned the matter first in the Cabinet and then in a full Council, 
where it was opposed by none except Skyresh Bolgolam, who was pleased, without 
any provocation, to be my mortal enemy. But it was carried against him by the 
whole Board, and confirmed by the Emperor. That Minister was Galbet, or 
Admiral of the Realm, very much in his master's confidence, and a person well 
versed in affairs, but of a morose and sour complexion. However, he was at 
length persuaded to comply, but prevailed that the articles and conditions 
upon which I should be set free, and to which I must swear, should be drawn up 
by himself. These articles were brought to me by Skyresh Bolgolam in person, 
attended by two Under-Secretaries and several persons of distinction. After 
they were read, I was demanded to swear to the performance of them, first in 
the manner of my own country and afterwards in the method prescribed by their 
laws, which was to hold my right foot in my left hand, to place the middle 
finger of my right hand on the crown of my head, and my thumb on the tip of my 
right ear. But because the reader may perhaps be curious to have some idea of 
the style and manner of expression peculiar to that people, as well as to know 
the articles upon which I recovered my liberty, I have made a translation of 
the whole instrument word for word, as near as I was able, which I here offer 
to the public:

GOLBASTO MOMAREN EVLAME GURDILO SHEFIN MULLY ULLY GUE, most mighty Emperor of 
Lilliput, delight and terror of the universe, whose dominions extend five-
thousand blustrugs (about twelve miles in circumference), to the extremities 
of the globe, monarch of all monarchs, taller than the sons of men; whose feet 
press down to the centre, and whose head strikes against the sun; at whose nod 
the Princes of the earth shake their knees; pleasant as the spring, 
comfortable as the summer, fruitful as autumn, dreadful as winter. His most 
sublime Majesty proposeth to the Man Mountain, lately arrived to our celestial 
dominions, the following articles, which by a solemn oath he shall be obliged 
to perform.
First: The Man Mountain shall not depart from our dominions without our 
license under our Great Seal.
Second: He shall not presume to come into our metropolis without our express 
order, at which time the inhabitants shall have two hours' warning to keep 
within their doors.
Third: The said Man Mountain shall confine his walks to our principal high 
roads, and not offer to walk or lie down in a meadow or field of corn.
Fourth: As he walks the said roads he shall take the utmost care not to 
trample upon the bodies of any of our loving subjects, their horses or 
carriages, nor take any of our said subjects into his hands without their own 
consent.
Fifth: If an express requires extraordinary despatch the Man Mountain shall be 
obliged to carry in his pocket the messenger and horse a six days' journey 
once in every moon, and return the said messenger back (if so required) safe 
to our Imperial presence.
Sixth: He shall be our ally against our enemies in the island of Blefuscu, and 
do his utmost to destroy their fleet, which is now preparing Io invade us.
Seventh: That the said Man Mountain shall at his times of leisure be aiding 
and assisting to our workmen, in helping to raise certain great stones towards 
covering the wall of the principal park, and other our royal buildings.
Eighth: That the said Man Mountain shall in two moons' time deliver in an 
exact survey of the circumference of our dominions by a computation of his own 
paces round the coast.
Lastly: That upon his solemn oath to observe all the above articles, the said 
Man Mountain shall have a daily allowance of meat and drink sufficient for the 
support of 1,724 of our subjects, with free access to our royal person and 
other marks of our favour. Given at our Palace at Belfaborac the twelfth day 
of the ninety-first moon of our reign."

I swore and subscribed to these articles with great cheerfulness and content, 
although some of them were not so honourable as I could have wished, which 
proceeded wholly from the malice of Skyresh Bolgolam, the High Admiral, 
whereupon my chains were immediately unlocked and I was at full liberty; the 
Emperor himself in person did me the honour to be by at the whole ceremony. I 
made my acknowledgments by prostrating myself at his Majesty's feet, but he 
commanded me to rise, and, after many gracious expressions, which, to avoid 
the censure of vanity, I shall not repeat, he added that he hoped I should 
prove a useful servant and well deserve all the favours he had already 
conferred upon me, or might do for the future.
The reader may please to observe that in the last article for the recovery of 
my liberty the Emperor stipulates to allow me a quantity of meat and drink 
sufficient for the support of 1,724 Lilliputians. Some time after, asking a 
friend at Court how they came to fix on that determinate number, he told me 
that his Majesty's mathematicians, having taken the height of my body by the 
help of a quadrant, and finding it to exceed theirs in the proportion of 
twelve to one, they concluded from the similarity of their bodies that mine 
must contain at least 1,724 of theirs, and consequently would require as much 
food as was necessary to support that number of Lilliputians. By which the 
reader may conceive an idea of the ingenuity of that people, as well as the 
prudent and exact economy of so great a Prince.


Chapter 4

Mildendo, the metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with the Emperor's 
palace. A conversation between the Author and a Principal Secretary concerning 
the affairs of that Empire. The Author's offers to serve the Emperor in his 
wars.


The first request I made after I had obtained my liberty was that I might have 
license to see Mildendo, the metropolis, which the Emperor easily granted me, 
but with a special charge to do no hurt, either to the inhabitants or their 
houses. The people had notice by a proclamation of my design to visit the 
town. The wall which encompassed it is two feet and a half high, and at least 
eleven inches broad, so that a coach and horses may be driven very safely 
round it, and it is flanked with strong towers at ten feet distance. I stepped 
over the great western gate and passed very gently, and sideling, through the 
two principal streets only in my short waistcoat, for fear of damaging the 
roofs and eaves of the houses with the skirts of my coat. I walked with the 
utmost circumspection, to avoid treading on any stragglers that might remain 
in the streets, although the orders were very strict that all people should 
keep in their houses at their own peril. The garret windows and tops of houses 
were so crowded with spectators that I thought in all my travels I had not 
seen a more populous place. The city is an exact square, each side of the wall 
being five hundred feet long. The two great streets which run across and 
divide it into four quarters are five feet wide. The lanes and alleys which I 
could not enter, but only viewed them as I passed, are from twelve to eighteen 
inches. The town is capable of holding five-hundred-thousand souls. The houses 
are from three to five stories; the shops and markets well provided.
The Emperor's palace is in the centre of the city, where the two great streets 
meet. It is enclosed by a wall two feet high, and twenty feet distant from the 
buildings. I had his Majesty's permission to step over this wall, and, the 
space being so wide between that and the palace, I could easily view it on 
every side. The outward court is a square of forty feet, and includes two 
other courts. In the inmost are the royal apartments, which I was very 
desirous to see, but found it extremely difficult; for the great gates from 
one square into another were but eighteen inches high and seven inches wide. 
Now, the buildings of the outer court were at least five feet high, and it was 
impossible for me to stride over them without infinite damage to the pile, 
though the walls were strongly built of hewn stone and four inches thick. At 
the same time, the Emperor had a great desire that I should see the 
magnificence of his palace; but this I was not able to do till three days 
after, which I spent in cutting down with my knife some of the largest trees 
in the royal park, about a hundred yards distant from the city. of these trees 
I made two stools, each about three feet high and strong enough to bear my 
weight. The people having received notice a second time, I went again through 
the city to the palace with my two stools in my hands. When I came to the side 
of the outer court, I stood upon one stool and took the other in my hand. This 
I lifted over the roof and gently set it down on the space between the first 
and second court, which was eight feet wide. I then stepped over the buildings 
very conveniently from one stool to the other, and drew up the first after me 
with a hooked stick. By this contrivance I got into the inmost court, and, 
lying down upon my side, I applied my face to the windows of the middle 
stories, which were left open on purpose, and discovered the most splendid 
apartments that can be imagined. There I saw the Empress and the young Princes 
in their several lodgings, with their chief attendants about them. Her 
Imperial Majesty was pleased to smile very graciously upon me, and gave me out 
of the window her hand to kiss.
But I shall not anticipate the reader with farther descriptions of this kind, 
because I reserve them for a greater work, which is now almost ready for the 
press, containing a general description of this empire from its first erection 
through a long series of Princes, with a particular account of their wars and 
politics, laws, learning, and religion; their plants and animals, their 
peculiar manners and customs, with other matters very curious and useful, my 
chief design at present being only to relate such events and transactions as 
happened to the public, or to myself, during a residence of about nine months 
in that empire.
One morning, about a fortnight after I had obtained my liberty, Reldresal, 
Principal Secretary (as they style him) of Private Affairs, came to my house, 
attended only by one servant. He ordered his coach to wait at a distance, and 
desired I would give him an hour's audience, which I readily consented to on 
account of his quality and personal merits, as well as the many good offices 
he had done me during my solicitations at Court. I offered to lie down that he 
might the more conveniently reach my ear, but he chose rather to let me hold 
him in my hand during our conversation. He began with compliments on my 
liberty, said he might pretend to some merit in it; but, however, added that 
if it had not been for the present situation of things at Court, perhaps I 
might not have obtained it so soon. For, said he, as flourishing a condition 
as we may appear to be in to foreigners, we labour under two mighty evils -a 
violent faction at home, and the danger of an invasion by a most potent enemy 
from abroad. As to the first, you are to understand that for above seventy 
moons past there have been two struggling parties in this empire, under the 
names of Tramecksan and Slamecksan, from the high and low heels on their 
shoes, by which they distinguish themselves. It is alleged, indeed, that the 
high heels are most agreeable to our ancient constitution. But however this 
be, His Majesty hath determined to make use of only low heels in the 
administration of the government, and all offices in the gift of the Crown, as 
you cannot but observe; and particularly that his Majesty's imperial heels are 
lower at least by a drurr than any of his Court (drurr is a measure about the 
fourteenth part of an inch). The animosities between these two parties run so 
high that they will neither eat nor drink nor talk with each other. We compute 
the Tramecksan, or High Heels, to exceed us in number, but the power is wholly 
on our side. We apprehend his Imperial Highness, the heir to the Crown, to 
have some tendency towards the High Heels -at least, we can plainly discover 
one of his heels higher than the other, which gives him a hobble in his gait. 
Now, in the midst of these intestine disquiets, we are threatened with an 
invasion from the island of Blefuscu, which is the other great empire of the 
universe, almost as large and as powerful as this of his Majesty. For as to 
what we have heard you affirm, that there are other kingdoms and States in the 
world, inhabited by human creatures as large as yourself, our philosophers are 
in much doubt, and would rather conjecture that you dropped from the moon or 
one of the stars, because it is certain that a hundred mortals of your bulk 
would, in a short time, destroy all the fruits and cattle of his Majesty's 
dominions. Besides, our histories of six-thousand moons make no mention of any 
other regions than the two great empires of Lilliput and Blefuscu, which two 
mighty Powers have, as I was going to tell you, been engaged in a most 
obstinate war for six-and-thirty moons past. It began upon the following 
occasion: It is allowed on all hands that the primitive way of breaking eggs 
before we eat them was upon the larger end. But his present Majesty's 
grandfather, while he was a boy, going to eat an egg, and breaking it 
according to the ancient practice, happened to cut one of his fingers. 
Whereupon the Emperor, his father, published an edict commanding all his 
subjects, upon great penalties, to break the smaller end of their eggs. The 
people so highly resented this law that our histories tell us there have been 
six rebellions raised on that account, wherein one Emperor lost his life and 
another his crown. These civil commotions were constantly fomented by the 
monarchs of Blefuscu; and when they were quelled, the exiles always fled for 
refuge to that empire. It is computed that eleven-thousand persons have, at 
several times, suffered death rather than submit to break their eggs at the 
smaller end. Many hundred large volumes have been published upon this 
controversy. But the books of the Big-Endians have been long forbidden, and 
the whole party rendered incapable by law of holding employments. During the 
course of these troubles, the Emperors of Blefuscu did frequently expostulate 
by their ambassadors, accusing us of making a schism in religion by offending 
against a fundamental doctrine of our great prophet Lustrog, in the fifty-
fourth chapter of the Blundecral (which is their Alcoran). This, however, is 
thought to be a mere strain upon the text. For the words are these: That all 
true believers shall break their eggs at the convenient end; and which is the 
convenient end seems, in my humble opinion, to be left to every man's 
conscience, or, at least, in the power of the chief magistrate to determine. 
Now, the Big-Endian exiles have found so much credit in the Emperor of 
Blefuscu's Court, and so much private assistance and encouragement from their 
party here at home, that a bloody war hath been carried on between the two 
empires for six-and-thirty moons with various success, during which time we 
have lost forty capital ships and a much greater number of smaller vessels, 
together with thirty-thousand of our best seamen and soldiers; and the damage 
received by the enemy is reckoned to be somewhat greater than ours. However, 
they have now equipped a numerous fleet, and are just preparing to make a 
descent upon us; and his Imperial Majesty, placing great confidence in your 
valour and strength, hath commanded me to lay this account of his affairs 
before you.
I desired the Secretary to present my humble duty to the Emperor, and to let 
him know that I thought it would not become me, who was a foreigner, to 
interfere with parties; but I was ready, with the hazard of my life, to defend 
his person and State against all invaders.


Chapter 5

The Author by an extraordinary stratagem prevents an invasion. A high title of 
honour is conferred upon him. Ambassadors arrive from the Emperor of Blefuscu 
and sue for peace. The Empress's apartment on fire by an accident: the Author 
instrumental in saving the rest of the palace.


The Empire of Blefuscu is an island situated to the north-north-east side of 
Lilliput, from whence it is parted only by a channel of eight hundred yards 
wide. I had not yet seen it, and upon this notice of an intended invasion I 
avoided appearing on that side of the coast, for fear of being discovered by 
some of the enemy's ships, who had received no intelligence of me, all 
intercourse between the two empires having been strictly forbidden during the 
war upon pain of death, and an embargo laid by our Emperor upon all vessels 
whatsoever. I communicated to his Majesty a project I had formed of seizing 
the enemy's whole fleet, which, as our scouts assured us, lay at anchor in the 
harbour ready to sail with the first fair wind. I consulted the most 
experienced seamen upon the depth of the channel, which they had often 
plumbed, who told me that in the middle at high water it was seventy 
glumgluffs deep, which is about six feet of European measure, and the rest of 
it fifty glumgluffs at most. I walked towards the north-east coast over 
against Blefuscu, and, lying down behind a hillock, took out my small pocket-
perspective-glass, and viewed the enemy's fleet at anchor, consisting of about 
fifty men-of-war and a great number of transports; I then came back to my 
house and gave order (for which I had a warrant) for a great quantity of the 
strongest cable and bars of iron. The cable was about as thick as pack-thread, 
and the bars of the length and size of a knitting-needle. I trebled the cable 
to make it stronger, and for the same reason I twisted three of the iron bars 
together, binding the extremities into a hook. Having thus fixed fifty hooks 
to as many cables, I went back to the north-east coast, and, putting off my 
coat, shoes, and stockings, walked into the sea in my leathern jerkin, about 
half an hour before high water. I waded with what haste I could, and swam in 
the middle about thirty yards till I felt ground; I arrived to the fleet in 
less than half an hour. The enemy was so frightened when they saw me that they 
leaped out of their ships and swam to shore, where there could not be fewer 
than thirty-thousand souls. I then took my tackling, and, fastening a hook to 
the hole at the prow of each, I tied all the cords together at the end. While 
I was thus employed the enemy discharged several thousand arrows, many of 
which stuck in my hands and face, and, besides the excessive smart, gave me 
much disturbance in my work. My greatest apprehension was for mine eyes, which 
I should have infallibly lost if I had not suddenly thought of an expedient. I 
kept among other little necessaries, a pair of spectacles in a private pocket, 
which as I observed before, had escaped the Emperor's searchers. These I took 
out and fastened as strongly as I could upon my nose, and thus armed went on 
boldly with my work, in spite of the enemy's arrows, many of which struck 
against the glasses of my spectacles, but without any other effect farther 
than a little to discompose them. I had now fastened all the hooks, and, 
taking the knot in my hand, began to pull, but not a ship would stir, for they 
were all too fast held by their anchors, so that the bold part of my 
enterprise remained. I therefore let go the cord, and, leaving the hooks fixed 
to the ships, I resolutely cut with my knife the cables that fastened the 
anchors, receiving above two hundred shots in my face and hands; then I took 
up the knotted end of the cables to which my hooks were tied, and with great 
ease drew fifty of the enemy's largest men-of-war after me.
The Blefuscudians, who had not the least imagination of what I intended, were 
at first confounded with astonishment. They had seen me cut the cables, and 
thought my design was only to let the ships run adrift, or fall foul on each 
other, but when they perceived the whole fleet moving in order, and saw me 
pulling at the end, they set up such a scream of grief and despair that it is 
almost impossible to describe or conceive. When I had got out of danger, I 
stopped awhile to pick out the arrows that stuck in my hands and face, and 
rubbed on some of the same ointment that was given me at my first arrival, as 
I have formerly mentioned. I then took off my spectacles, and, waiting about 
an hour till the tide was a little fallen, I waded through the middle with my 
cargo, and arrived safe at the royal port of Lilliput.
The Emperor and his whole Court stood on the shore expecting the issue of this 
great adventure. They saw the ships move forward in a large half-moon, but 
could not discern me, who was up to my breast in water. When I advanced to the 
middle of the channel, they were yet more in pain because I was under water to 
my neck. The Emperor concluded me to be drowned, and that the enemy's fleet 
was approaching in a hostile manner; but he was soon eased of his fears, for 
the channel growing shallower every step I made, I came in a short time within 
hearing, and, holding up the end of the cable by which the fleet was fastened, 
I cried in a loud voice, "Long live the most puissant Emperor of Lilliput!" 
This great Prince received me at my landing with all possible encomiums, and 
created me a Nardac upon the spot, which is the highest title of honour among 
them.
His Majesty desired I would take some other opportunity of bringing all the 
rest of his enemy's ships into his ports. And so unmeasurable is the ambition 
of Princes that he seemed to think of nothing less than reducing the whole 
Empire of Blefuscu into a province, and governing it by a Viceroy; of 
destroying the Big-Endian exiles, and compelling that people to break the 
smaller end of their eggs, by which he would remain the sole monarch of the 
whole world. But I endeavoured to divert him from this design by many 
arguments drawn from the topics of policy as well as justice, and I plainly 
protested that I would never be an instrument of bringing a free and brave 
people into slavery. And when the matter was debated in council, the wisest 
part of the Ministry were of my opinion.
This open bold declaration of mine was so opposite to the schemes and politics 
of his Imperial Majesty that he could never forgive it; he mentioned it in a 
very artful manner at Council, where I was told that some of the wisest 
appeared, at least by their silence, to be of my opinion, but others who were 
my secret enemies could not forbear some expressions, which by a side-wind 
reflected on me. And from this time began an intrigue between his Majesty and 
a junto of Ministers maliciously bent against me, which broke out in less than 
two months, and had like to have ended in my utter destruction -of so little 
weight are the greatest services to Princes when put into the balance with a 
refusal to gratify their passions.
About three weeks after this exploit, there arrived a solemn embassy from 
Blefuscu, with humble offers of a peace, which was soon concluded upon 
conditions very advantageous to our Emperor, wherewith I shall not trouble the 
reader. There were six Ambassadors, with a train of about five hundred 
persons, and their entry was very magnificent, suitable to the grandeur of 
their master and the importance of their business. When their treaty was 
finished, wherein I did them several good offices by the credit I now had -or, 
at least, appeared to have -at Court, their Excellencies, who were privately 
told how much I had been their friend, made me a visit in form. They began 
with many compliments upon my valour and generosity, invited me to that 
kingdom in the Emperor their master's name, and desired me to show them some 
proofs of my prodigious strength, of which they had heard so many wonders, 
wherein I readily obliged them, but shall not trouble the reader with the 
particulars.
When I had for some time entertained their Excellencies to their infinite 
satisfaction and surprise, I desired they would do me the honour to present my 
most humble respects to the Emperor their master, the renown of whose virtues 
had so justly filled the whole world with admiration, and whose royal person I 
resolved to attend before I returned to my own country; accordingly, the next 
time I had the honour to see our Emperor, I desired his general license to 
wait on the Blefuscudian monarch, which he was pleased to grant me, as I could 
plainly perceive, in a very cold manner, but could not guess the reason till I 
had a whisper from a certain person that Flimnap and Bolgolam had represented 
my intercourse with those Ambassadors as a mark of disaffection, from which I 
am sure my heart was wholly free. And this was the first time I began to 
conceive some imperfect idea of Courts and Ministers.
It is to be observed that these Ambassadors spoke to me by an interpreter the 
language of both empires, differing as much from each other as any two in 
Europe, and each nation priding itself upon the antiquity, beauty, and energy 
of their own tongues, with an avowed contempt for that of their neighbour; yet 
our Emperor, standing upon the advantage he had got by the seizure of their 
fleet, obliged them to deliver their credentials and make their speech in the 
Lilliputian tongue. And it must be confessed that from the great intercourse 
of trade and commerce between both realms, from the continual reception of 
exiles, which is mutual among them, and from the custom in each empire to send 
their young nobility and richer gentry to the other, in order to polish 
themselves by seeing the world and understanding men and manners, there are 
few persons of distinction, or merchants, or seamen, who dwell in the maritime 
parts, but what can hold conversation in both tongues, as I found some weeks 
after when I went to pay my respects to the Emperor of Blefuscu, which, in the 
midst of great misfortunes, through the malice of my enemies, proved a very 
happy adventure for me, as I shall relate in its proper place.
The reader may remember that when I signed those articles upon which I 
recovered my liberty there were some which I disliked upon account of their 
being too servile, neither could anything but an extreme necessity have forced 
me to submit. But being now a Nardac of the highest rank in that empire, such 
offices were looked upon as below my dignity, and the Emperor (to do him 
justice) never once mentioned them to me. However it was not long before I had 
an opportunity of doing his Majesty -at least, as I then thought -a most 
signal service. I was alarmed at midnight with the cries of many hundred 
people at my door, by which, being suddenly awakened, I was in some kind of 
terror. I heard the word `Burglum' repeated incessantly; several of the 
Emperor's Court, making their way through the crowd, entreated me to come 
immediately to the palace, where her Imperial Majesty's apartment was on fire, 
by the carelessness of a maid of honour, who fell asleep while she was reading 
a romance. I got up in an instant, and orders being given to clear the way 
before me, and it being likewise a moonshine night, I made a shift to get to 
the palace without trampling on any of the people. I found they had already 
applied ladders to the walls of the apartment, and were well provided with 
buckets, but the water was at some distance. These buckets were about the size 
of a large thimble, and the poor people supplied me with them as fast as they 
could, but the flame was so violent that they did little good. I might easily 
have stifled it with my coat, which I unfortunately left behind me for haste, 
and came away only in my leathern jerkin. The case seemed wholly desperate and 
deplorable, and this magnificent palace would have infallibly been burnt down 
to the ground if, by a presence of mind unusual to me, I had not suddenly 
thought of an expedient. I had the evening before drank plentifully of a most 
delicious wine called Glimigrim (the Blefuscudians call it Flunec, but ours is 
esteemed the better sort), which is very diuretic. By the luckiest chance in 
the world I had not discharged myself of any part of it. The heat I had 
contracted by coming very near the flames, and by my labouring to quench them, 
made the wine begin to operate by urine, which I voided in such a quantity and 
applied so well to the proper places that in three minutes the fire was wholly 
extinguished and the rest of that noble pile, which had cost so many ages in 
erecting, preserved from destruction.
It was now daylight, and I returned to my house without waiting to 
congratulate with the Emperor, because, although I had done a very eminent 
piece of service, yet I could not tell how his Majesty might resent the manner 
by which I had performed it, for, by the fundamental laws of the realm, it is 
capital in any person, of what quality soever, to make water within the 
precincts of the palace. But I was a little comforted by a message from his 
Majesty that he would give orders to the Grand Justiciary for passing my 
pardon in form, which, however, I could not obtain. And, I was privately 
assured, the Empress, conceiving the greatest abhorrence of what I had done, 
removed to the most distant side of the Court, firmly resolved that those 
buildings should never be repaired for her use, and, in the presence of her 
chief confidants, could not forbear vowing revenge.


Chapter 6

Of the inhabitants of Lilliput, their learning, laws, and customs, the manner 
of educating their children. The Author's way of living in that country. His 
vindication of a great lady.


Although I intend to leave the description of this empire to a particular 
treatise, yet in the meantime I am content to gratify the curious reader with 
some general ideas. As the common size of the natives is somewhat under six 
inches high, so there is an exact proportion in all other animals as well as 
plants and trees; for instance, the tallest horses and oxen are between four 
and five inches in height, the sheep an inch and a half, more or less, their 
geese about the bigness of a sparrow, and so the several gradations downwards 
till you come to the smallest, which to my sight, were almost invisible. But 
Nature hath adapted the eyes of the Lilliputians to all objects proper for 
their view; they see with great exactness, but at no great distance. And to 
show the sharpness of their sight towards objects that are near, I have been 
much pleased observing a cook pulling a lark which was not so large as a 
common fly, and a young girl threading an invisible needle with invisible 
silk. Their tallest trees are about seven feet high; I mean some of those in 
the great royal park, the tops whereof i could but just reach with my fist 
clenched. The other vegetables are in the same proportion, but this I leave to 
the reader's imagination.
I shall say but little at present of their learning, which for many ages hath 
flourished in all its branches among them, but their manner of writing is very 
peculiar, being neither from the left to the right like the Europeans, nor the 
right to the left like the Arabians, nor from up to down like the Chinese, nor 
from down to up like the Cascagians, but aslant from one corner of the paper 
to the other, like ladies in England.
They bury their dead with their heads directly downwards, because they hold an 
opinion that in eleven-thousand moons they are all to rise again, in which 
period the earth (which they conceive to be flat) will turn upside down, and 
by this means they shall at their resurrection be found ready standing on 
their feet. The learned among them confess the absurdity of this doctrine, but 
the practice still continues in compliance to the vulgar.
There are some laws and customs in this empire very peculiar; and if they were 
not so directly contrary to those of my own dear country, I should be tempted 
to say a little in their justification. It is only to be wished that they were 
as well executed. The first I shall mention relates to informers. All crimes 
against the State are punished here with the utmost severity; but if the 
person accused makes his innocence plainly to appear upon his trial, the 
accuser is immediately put to an ignominious death, and out of his goods or 
lands the innocent person is quadruply recompensed for the loss of his time, 
for the danger he underwent, for the hardship of his imprisonment, and for all 
the charges he hath been at in making his defence. Or, if that fund be 
deficient, it is largely supplied by the Crown. The Emperor does also confer 
on him some public mark of his favour, and proclamation is made of his 
innocence through the whole city.
They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore seldom fail 
to punish it with death; for they allege that care and vigilance, with a very 
common understanding, may preserve a man's goods from thieves, but honesty has 
no fence against superior cunning; and since it is necessary that there should 
be a perpetual intercourse of buying and selling and dealing upon credit, 
where fraud is permitted or connived at, or hath no law to punish it, the 
honest dealer is always undone and the knave gets the advantage. I remember 
when I was once interceding with the King for a criminal who had wronged his 
master of a great sum of money, which he received by order and ran away with, 
and happening to tell his Majesty, by way of extenuation, that it was only a 
breach of trust, the Emperor thought it monstrous in me to offer as a defence 
the greatest aggravation of the crime; and truly I had little to say in 
return, farther that the common answer that different nations had different 
customs, for, I confess, I was heartily ashamed.
Although we usually call reward and punishment the two hinges upon which all 
government turns, yet I could never observe this maxim to be put in practice 
by any nation except that of Lilliput. Whoever can there bring sufficient 
proof that he hath strictly observed the laws of his country for seventy-three 
moons hath a claim to certain privileges, according to his quality and 
condition of life, with a proportionable sum of money out of a fund 
appropriated for that use. He likewise acquires the title of Snilpall, or 
Legal, which is added to his name, but does not descend to his posterity. And 
these people thought it a prodigious defect of policy among us when I told 
them that our laws were enforced only by penalties, without any mention of 
reward. It is upon this account that the image of Justice, in their Courts of 
Judicature, is formed with six eyes -two before, as many behind, and on each 
side one, to signify circumspection -with a bag of gold open in her right 
hand, and a sword sheathed in her left, to show she is more disposed to reward 
than to punish.
In choosing persons for all employments, they have more regard to good morals 
than to great abilities; for, since government is necessary to mankind, they 
believe that the common size of human understandings is fitted to some station 
or other, and that providence never intended to make the management of public 
affairs a mystery, to be comprehended only by a few persons of sublime genius, 
of which there seldom are three born in an age; but they suppose truth, 
justice, temperance, and the like, to be in every man's power, the practice of 
which virtues, assisted by experience and a good intention, would qualify any 
man for the service of his country, except where a course of study is 
required. But they thought the want of moral virtues was so far from being 
supplied by superior endowments of the mind that employments could never be 
put into such dangerous hands as those of persons so qualified; and, at least, 
that the mistakes committed by ignorance in a virtuous disposition would never 
be of such fatal consequence to the public weal as the practices of a man 
whose inclinations led him to be corrupt, and had great abilities to manage 
and multiply and defend his corruptions.
In like manner, the disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a man incapable 
of holding any public station; for since Kings avow themselves to be the 
deputies of Providence, the Lilliputians think nothing can be more absurd than 
for a Prince to employ such men as disown the authority under which he acts.
In relating these and the following laws, I would only+be understood to mean 
the original institutions, and not the most scandalous corruptions into which 
these people are fallen by the degenerate nature of man. For as to that 
infamous practice of acquiring great employments by dancing on the ropes, or 
badges of favour and distinction by leaping over sticks and creeping under 
them, the reader is to observe that they were first introduced by the 
grandfather of the Emperor now reigning, and grew to the present height by the 
gradual increase of party and faction.
Ingratitude is among them a capital crime, as we read it to have been in some 
other countries; for they reason thus; that whoever makes ill returns to his 
benefactor must needs be a common enemy to the rest of mankind, from whom he 
hath received no obligation, and therefore such a man is not fit to live.
Their notions relating to the duties of parents and children differ extremely 
from ours. For, since the conjunction of male and female is founded upon the 
great law of nature, in order to propagate and continue the species, the 
Lilliputians will needs have it that men and women are joined together, like 
other animals, by the motives of concupiscence, and that their tenderness 
towards their young proceeds from the like natural principle; for which reason 
they will never allow that a child is under any obligation to his father for 
begetting him or his mother for bringing him into the world, which, 
considering the miseries of human life, was neither a benefit in itself or 
intended so by his parents, whose thoughts in their love-encounters were 
otherwise employed. Upon these and the like reasonings, their opinion is that 
parents are the last of all others to be trusted with the education of their 
own children, and therefore they have in every town public nurseries where all 
parents, except cottagers and labourers, are obliged to send their infants of 
both sexes to be reared and educated when they come to the age of twenty 
moons, at which time they are supposed to have some rudiments of docility. 
These schools are of several kinds, suited to different qualities and to both 
sexes. They have certain professors well skilled in preparing children for 
such a condition of life as befits the rank of their parents, and their own 
capacities as well as inclinations. I shall first say something of the male 
nurseries, and then of the female.
The nurseries for males of noble or eminent birth are provided with grave and 
learned professors and their several deputies. The clothes and food of the 
children are plain and simple. They are bred up in the principles of honour, 
justice, courage, modesty, clemency, religion, and love of their country; they 
are always employed in some business, except in the times of eating and 
sleeping, which are very short, and two hours for diversions, consisting of 
bodily exercises. They are dressed by men till four years of age, and then are 
obliged to dress themselves, although their quality be ever so great; and the 
woman attendants, who are aged proportionably to ours at fifty, perform only 
the most menial offices. They are never suffered to converse with servants, 
but go together in small or greater numbers to take their diversions, and 
always in the presence of a professor or one of his deputies, whereby they 
avoid those early bad impressions of folly and vice to which our children are 
subject. Their parents are suffered to see them only twice a year; the visit 
is to last but an hour. They are allowed to kiss the child at meeting and 
parting, but a professor, who always stands by on those occasions, will not 
suffer them to whisper, or use any fondling expressions, or bring any presents 
of toys, sweetmeats, and the like.
The pension from each family for the education and entertainment of a child, 
upon failure of due payment, is levied by the Emperor's officers.
The nurseries for children of ordinary gentlemen, merchants, traders, and 
handicrafts, are managed proportionably after the same manner; only those 
designed for trades are put out apprentices at eleven years old, whereas those 
of persons of quality continue in their nurseries till fifteen, which answers 
to one-and-twenty with us; but the confinement is gradually lessened for the 
last three years.
In the female nurseries, the young girls of quality are educated much like the 
males, only they are dressed by orderly servants of their own sex, but always 
in the presence of a professor or deputy, till they come to dress themselves, 
which is at five years old. And if it be found that these nurses ever presume 
to entertain the girls with frightful or foolish stories or the common follies 
practised by chambermaids among us, they are publicly whipped thrice about the 
city, imprisoned for a year, and banished for life to the most desolate part 
of the country. Thus the young ladies there are as much ashamed of being 
cowards and fools as the men, and despise all personal ornaments beyond 
decency and cleanliness; neither did I perceive any difference in their 
education made by their difference of sex, only that the exercises of the 
females were not altogether so robust, and that some rules were given them 
relating to domestic life, and a smaller compass of learning was enjoined 
them: for the maxim is, that among people of quality a wife should be always a 
reasonable and agreeable companion, because she cannot always be young. When 
the girls are twelve years old, which among them is the marriageable age, 
their parents or guardians take them home with great expressions of gratitude 
to the professors, and seldom without tears of the young lady and her 
companions.
In the nurseries of females of the meaner sort, the children are instructed in 
all kinds of works proper for their sex and their several degrees; those 
intended for apprentices are dismissed at nine years old, the rest are kept to 
thirteen.
The meaner families who have children at these nurseries are obliged, besides 
their annual pension, which is as low as possible, to return to the steward of 
the nursery a small monthly share of their gettings, to be a portion for the 
child, and therefore all parents are limited in their expenses by the law. For 
the Lilliputians think nothing can be more unjust than for people, in 
subservience to their own appetites, to bring children into the world and 
leave the burthen of supporting them on the public. As to persons of quality, 
they give security to appropriate a certain sum for each child suitable to 
their condition, and these funds are always managed with good husbandry and 
the most exact justice.
The cottagers and labourers keep their children at home, their business being 
only to till and cultivate the earth, and therefore their education is of 
little consequence to the public; but the old and diseased among them are 
supported by hospitals, for begging is a trade unknown in this kingdom.
And here it may perhaps divert the curious reader to give some account of my 
domestic, and my manner of living in this country during a residence of nine 
months and thirteen days. Having a head mechanically turned, and being 
likewise forced by necessity, I had made for myself a table and chair, 
convenient enough, out of the largest trees in the royal park. Two hundred 
sempstresses were employed to make me shirts, and linen for my bed and table, 
all of the strongest and coarsest kind they could get, which, however, they 
were forced to quilt together in several folds, for the thickest was some 
degrees finer than lawn. Their linen is usually three inches wide, and three 
feet make a piece. The sempstresses took my measure as I lay on the ground, 
one standing at my neck and another at my mid-leg, with a strong cord extended 
that each held by the end, while the third measured the length of the cord 
with a rule of an inch long. Then they measured my right thumb, and desired no 
more; for, by a mathematical computation that twice round the thumb is once 
round the wrist, and so on to the neck and the waist, and by the help of my 
old shirt, which I displayed on the ground before them for a pattern, they 
fitted me exactly. Three hundred tailors were employed in the same manner to 
make me clothes, but they had another contrivance for taking my measure: I 
kneeled down, and they raised a ladder from the ground to my neck; upon this 
ladder one of them mounted, and let fall a plumb-line from my collar to the 
floor, which just answered the length of my coat, but my waist and arms I 
measured myself. When my clothes were finished, which was done in my house 
(for the largest of theirs would not be able to hold them), they looked like 
the patchwork made by the ladies in England, only that mine were all of a 
colour.
I had three hundred cooks to dress my victuals in little convenient huts built 
about my house, where they and their families lived, and prepared me two 
dishes apiece. I took up twenty waiters in my hand and placed them on the 
table; a hundred more attended below on the ground, some with dishes of meat, 
and some with barrels of wine and other liquors slung on their shoulders, all 
which the waiters above drew up as I wanted in a very ingenious manner by 
certain cords, as we draw the bucket up a well in Europe. A dish of their meat 
was a good mouthful, and a barrel of their liquor a reasonable draught. Their 
mutton yields to ours, but their beef is excellent. I have had a sirloin so 
large that I have been forced to make three bits of it, but this is rare. My 
servants were astonished to see me eat it bones and all, as in our country we 
do the leg of a lark. Their geese and turkeys I usually eat at a mouthful, and 
I must confess they far exceed ours. of their smaller fowl I could take up 
twenty or thirty at the end of my knife.
One day his Imperial Majesty, being informed of my way of living, desired that 
himself and his Royal Consort, with the young Princes of the blood of both 
sexes, might have the happiness (as he was pleased to call it) of dining with 
me. They came accordingly, and I placed them upon chairs of State on my table, 
just over against me, with their guards about them. Flimnap, the Lord High 
Treasurer, attended there likewise with his white staff, and I observed he 
often looked on me with a sour countenance, which I would not seem to regard, 
but eat more than usual in honour to my dear country, as well as to fill the 
Court with admiration. I have some private reasons to believe that this visit 
from his Majesty gave Flimnap an opportunity of doing me ill offices to his 
master. That Minister had always been my secret enemy, though he outwardly 
caressed me more than was usual to the moroseness of his nature. He 
represented to the Emperor the low condition of his Treasury; that he was 
forced to take up money at great discount; that exchequer bills would not 
circulate under nine per cent. below par; that, in short, I had cost his 
Majesty above a million and a half of sprugs (their greatest gold coin, about 
the bigness of a spangle), and, upon the whole, that it would be advisable in 
the Emperor to take the first fair occasion of dismissing me.
I am here obliged to vindicate the reputation of an excellent lady, who was an 
innocent sufferer upon my account. The Treasurer took a fancy to be jealous of 
his wife, from the malice of some evil tongues, who informed him that her 
Grace had taken a violent affection for my person, and the Court scandal ran 
for some time that she once came privately to my lodging. This I solemnly 
declare to be a most infamous falsehood, without any grounds farther than that 
her Grace was pleased to treat me with all innocent marks of freedom and 
friendship. I own she came often to my house, but always publicly, nor ever 
without three more in the coach, who were usually her sister and young 
daughter and some particular acquaintance; but this was common to many other 
ladies of the Court, and I still appeal to my servants round, whether they at 
any time saw a coach at my door without knowing what persons were in it. On 
those occasions, when a servant had given me notice, my custom was to go 
immediately to the door, and, after paying my respects, to take up the coach 
and two horses very carefully in my hands (for if there were six horses the 
postilion always unharnessed four) and place them on a table, where I had 
fixed a movable rim, quite round, of five inches high, to prevent accidents. 
And I have often had four coaches and horses at once on my table full of 
company, while I sat in my chair leaning my face towards them; and when I was 
engaged with one set, the coachman would gently drive the others round my 
table. I have passed many an afternoon very agreeably in these conversations. 
But I defy the Treasurer or his two informers (I will name them, and let them 
make their best of it), Clustril and Drunlo, to prove that any person ever 
came to me incognito, except the Secretary Reldresal, who was sent by express 
command of his Imperial Majesty, as I have before related. I should not have 
dwelt so long upon this particular if it had not been a point wherein the 
reputation of a great lady is so nearly concerned, to say nothing of my own, 
though I had then the honour to be a Nardac, which the Treasurer himself is 
not; for all the world knows he is only a Clumglum, a title inferior by one 
degree, as that of a Marquis is to a Duke in England, although I allow he 
preceded me in right of his post. These false informations, which I afterwards 
came to the knowledge of by an accident not proper to mention, made Flimnap, 
the Treasurer, show his lady for some time an ill countenance and me a worse, 
and although he were at last undeceived and reconciled to her, yet I lost all 
credit with him, and found my interest decline very fast with the Emperor 
himself, who was, indeed, too much governed by that favourite.


Chapter 7

The Author, being informed of a design to accuse him of high treason, makes 
his escape to Blefuscu. His reception there.


Before I proceed to give an account of my leaving this kingdom, it may be 
proper to inform the reader of a private intrigue which had been for two 
months forming against me.
I had been hitherto all my life a stranger to Courts, for which I was 
unqualified by the meanness of my condition. I had, indeed, heard and read 
enough of the dispositions of great Princes and Ministers, but never expected 
to have found such terrible effects of them in so remote a country, governed, 
as I thought, by very different maxims from those of Europe.
When I was just preparing to pay my attendance on the Emperor of Blefuscu, a 
considerable person at Court (to whom I had been very serviceable at a time 
when he lay under the highest displeasure of his Imperial Majesty) came to my 
house very privately at night in a close chair, and, without sending his name, 
desired admittance. The chairmen were dismissed, I put the chair with his 
lordship in it into my coat-pocket, and, giving orders to a trusty servant to 
say I was indisposed and gone to sleep, I fastened the door of my house, 
placed the chair on the table, according to my usual custom, and sat down by 
it. After the common salutations were over, observing his lordship's 
countenance full of concern, and inquiring into the reason, he desired I would 
hear him with patience in a matter that highly concerned my honour and my 
life. His speech was to the following effect, for I took notes of it as soon 
as he left me:
"You are to know," said he, "that several committees of council have been 
lately called in the most private manner on your account, and it is but two 
days since his Majesty came to a full resolution.
"You are very sensible that Skyresh Bolgolam (Galbet, or High Admiral) hath 
been your mortal enemy almost ever since your arrival; his original reasons I 
know not, but his hatred is much increased since your great success against 
Blefuscu, by which his glory as Admiral is obscured. This lord, in conjunction 
with Flimnap the High Treasurer, whose enmity against you is notorious on 
account of his lady, Limtoc the General, Lalcon the Chamberlain, and Balmuff 
the Grand Justiciary, have prepared articles of impeachment against you for 
treason and other capital crimes."
This preface made me so impatient, being conscious of my own merits and 
innocence, that I was going to interrupt, when he entreated me to be silent, 
and thus proceeded:
"Out of gratitude for the favours you have done me, I procured information of 
the whole proceedings and a copy of the articles, wherein I venture my head 
for your service.

ARTICLES OF IMPEACHMENT AGAINST QUINBUS FLESTRIN (THE MAN MOUNTAIN).

Article I.
50%
Whereas, by a Statute made in the reign of His Imperial Majesty, Calin Deffar 
Plune, it is enacted that whoever shall make water within the precincts of the 
royal palace shall be liable to the pains and penalties of high treason, 
notwithstanding the said Quinbus Flestrin, in open breach of the said law, 
under colour of extinguishing the fire kindled in the apartment of his 
Majesty's dear Imperial Consort, did maliciously, traitorously, and 
devilishly, by discharge of his urine, put out the said fire kindled in the 
said apartment, lying and being within the precincts of the said royal palace, 
against the Statute in that case provided etc., against the duty, etc.

Article II.
50%
That the said Quinbus Flestrin, having brought the Imperial fleet of Blefuscu 
into the royal port, and being afterwards commanded by his Imperial Majesty to 
seize all the other ships of the said Empire of Blefuscu, and reduce that 
empire to a province, to be governed by a Viceroy from hence, and to destroy 
and put to death not only all the Big-Endian exiles, but likewise all the 
people of that empire who would not immediately forsake the Big-Endian heresy, 
he, the said Flestrin, like a false traitor against his most auspicious, 
serene, Imperial Majesty, did petition to be excused from the said service 
upon pretence of unwillingness to force the consciences or destroy the 
liberties and lives of an innocent people.

Article III.
50%
That whereas certain Ambassadors arrived from the Court of Blefuscu to sue for 
peace in his Majesty's Court, he, the said Flestrin, did, like a false 
traitor, aid, abet, comfort, and divert the said Ambassadors, although he knew 
them to be servants to a Prince who was lately an open enemy to his Imperial 
Majesty, and in open war against his said Majesty.

Article IV.
50%
That the said Quinbus Flestrin, contrary to the duty of a faithful subject, is 
now preparing to make a voyage to the Court and Empire of Blefuscu, for which 
he hath received only verbal license from his Imperial Majesty, and under 
colour of the said license doth falsely and traitorously intend to take the 
said voyage, and thereby to aid, comfort, and abet the Emperor of Blefuscu, so 
late an enemy and in open war with his Imperial Majesty aforesaid.

"There are some other articles, but these are the most important of which I 
have read you an abstract.
"In the several debates upon this impeachment, it must be confessed that his 
Majesty gave many marks of his great lenity, often urging the services you had 
done him, and endeavouring to extenuate your crimes. The Treasurer and Admiral 
insisted that you should be put to the most painful and ignominious death by 
setting fire on your house at night, and the General was to attend with twenty-
thousand men armed with poisoned arrows to shoot you on the face and hands. 
Some of your servants were to have private orders to strew a poisonous juice 
on your shirts, which would soon make you tear your own flesh and die in the 
utmost torture. The General came into the same opinion, so that for a long 
time there was a majority against you; but his Majesty, resolving, if 
possible, to spare your life, at last brought off the Chamberlain.
"Upon this incident, Reldresal, Principal Secretary for Private Affairs, who 
always approved himself your true friend, was commanded by the Emperor to 
deliver his opinion, which he accordingly did, and therein justified the good 
thoughts you have of him. He allowed your crimes to be great, but that still 
there was room for mercy, the most commendable virtue in a Prince, and for 
which his Majesty was so justly celebrated. He said the friendship between you 
and him was so well known to the world that perhaps the most honourable Board 
might think him partial; however, in obedience to the command he had received, 
he would freely offer his sentiments. That if his Majesty, in consideration of 
your services and pursuant to his own merciful disposition, would please to 
spare your life, and only give order to put out both your eyes, he humbly 
conceived that by this expedient justice might in some measure be satisfied, 
and all the world would applaud the lenity of the Emperor as well as the fair 
and generous proceedings of those who have the honour to be his counsellors; 
that the loss of your eyes would be no impediment to your bodily strength, by 
which you might still be useful to his Majesty; that blindness is an addition 
to courage by concealing dangers from us; that the fear you had for your eyes 
was the greatest difficulty in bringing over the enemy's fleet, and it would 
be sufficient for you to see by the eyes of the Ministers, since the greatest 
Princes do no more.
"This proposal was received with the utmost disapprobation by the whole Board. 
Bolgolam, the Admiral, could not preserve his temper, but, rising up in fury, 
said he wondered how the Secretary durst presume to give his opinion for 
preserving the life of a traitor; that the services you had performed were, by 
all true reasons of State, the great aggravation of your crimes; that you, who 
were able to extinguish the fire by discharge of urine in her Majesty's 
apartment (which he mentioned with horror), might at another time raise an 
inundation by the same means to drown the whole palace, and the same strength 
which enabled you to bring over the enemy's fleet might serve upon the first 
discontent to carry it back; that he had good reasons to think you were a Big-
Endian in your heart; and as treason begins in the heart before it appears in 
overt acts, so he accused you as a traitor on that account, and therefore 
insisted you should be put to death.
"The Treasurer was of the same opinion; he showed to what straits his 
Majesty's revenue was reduced by the charge of maintaining you, which would 
soon grow unsupportable; that the Secretary's expedient of putting out your 
eyes was so far from being a remedy against this evil, it would probably 
increase it, as it is manifest from the common practice of blinding some kind 
of fowl, after which they fed the faster and grew sooner fat; that his sacred 
Majesty and the Council who are your judges were in their own consciences 
fully convinced of your guilt, which was a sufficient argument to condemn you 
to death, without the formal proofs required by the strict letter of the law.
"But his Imperial Majesty, fully determined against capital punishment, was 
graciously pleased to say that, since the Council thought the loss of your 
eyes too easy a censure, some other may be inflicted hereafter. And your 
friend the Secretary, humbly desiring to be heard again, in answer to what the 
Treasurer had objected concerning the great charge his Majesty was at in 
maintaining you, said that his Excellency, who had the sole disposal of the 
Emperor's revenue, might easily provide against that evil by gradually 
lessening your establishment, by which, for want of sufficient food, you would 
grow weak and faint and lose your appetite, and consequently decay and consume 
in a few months; neither would the stench of your carcass be then so dangerous 
when it should become more than half diminished; and immediately upon your 
death five- or six-thousand of his Majesty's subjects might, in two or three 
days, cut your flesh from your bones, take it away by cartloads, and bury it 
in distant parts to prevent infection, leaving the skeleton as a monument of 
admiration to posterity.
"Thus, by the great friendship of the Secretary, the whole affair was 
compromised. It was strictly enjoined that the project of starving you by 
degrees should be kept a secret, but the sentence of putting out your eyes was 
entered on the books, none dissenting except Bolgolam the Admiral, who, being 
a creature of the Empress, was perpetually instigated by her Majesty to insist 
upon your death, she having borne perpetual malice against you, on account of 
that infamous and illegal method you took to extinguish the fire in her 
apartment.
"In three days your friend the Secretary will be directed to come to your 
house and read before you the articles of impeachment, and then to signify the 
great lenity and favour of his Majesty and Council, whereby you are only 
condemned to the loss of your eyes, which his Majesty doth not question you 
will gratefully and humbly submit to and twenty of his Majesty's surgeons will 
attend in order to see the operation well performed, by discharging very sharp-
pointed arrows into the balls of your eyes as you lie on the ground.
"I leave to your prudence what measures you will take, and to avoid suspicion 
I must immediately return in as private a manner as I came."
His lordship did so, and I remained alone, under many doubts and perplexities 
of mind.
It was a custom introduced by this Prince and his Ministry (very different, as 
I have been assured, from the practices of former times) that after the Court 
had decreed any cruel execution, either to gratify the monarch's resentment or 
the malice of a favourite, the Emperor made a speech to his whole Council, 
expressing his great lenity and tenderness, as qualities known and confessed 
by all the world. This speech was immediately published through the kingdom, 
nor did anything terrify the people so much as those encomiums on his 
Majesty's mercy, because it was observed that the more these praises were 
enlarged and insisted on, the more inhuman was the punishment and the sufferer 
more innocent. And as to myself, I must confess, having never been designed 
for a courtier either by my birth or education, I was so ill a judge of things 
that I could not discover the lenity and favour of this sentence, but 
conceived it (perhaps erroneously) rather to be rigorous than gentle. I 
sometimes thought of standing my trial, for although I could deny the facts 
alleged in the several articles, yet I hoped they would admit of some 
extenuations. But having in my life perused many State trials, which I ever 
observed to terminate as the judges thought fit to direct, I durst not rely on 
so dangerous a decision in so critical a juncture and against such powerful 
enemies. Once I was strongly bent upon resistance, for while I had liberty the 
whole strength of that empire could hardly subdue me, and I might easily with 
stones pelt the metropolis to pieces; but I soon rejected that project with 
horror, by remembering the oath I had made to the Emperor, the favours I 
received from him, and the high title of Nardac he conferred upon me. Neither 
had I so soon learned the gratitude of courtiers to persuade myself that his 
Majesty's present severities acquitted me of all past obligations.
At last I fixed upon a resolution, for which it is probable I may incur some 
censure, and not unjustly, for I confess I owe the preserving mine eyes, and 
consequently my liberty, to my own great rashness and want of experience, 
because if I had then known the nature of Princes and Ministers, which I have 
since observed in many other Courts, and their methods of treating criminals 
less obnoxious than myself, I should with great alacrity and readiness have 
submitted to so easy a punishment. But hurried on by the precipitancy of 
youth, and having his Imperial Majesty's license to pay my attendance upon the 
Emperor of Blefuscu, I took this opportunity, before the three days were 
elapsed, to send a letter to my friend the Secretary, signifying my resolution 
of setting out that morning for Blefuscu pursuant to the leave I had got; and 
without waiting for an answer I went to that side of the island where our 
fleet lay. I seized a large man-of-war, tied a cable to the prow, and, lifting 
up the anchors, I stripped myself, put my clothes (together with my coverlet, 
which I brought under my arm) into the vessel, and, drawing it after me, 
between wading and swimming, arrived at the royal port of Blefuscu, where the 
people had long expected me; they lent me two guides to direct me to the 
capital city, which is of the same name. I held them in my hands till I came 
within two hundred yards of the gate, and desired them to signify my arrival 
to one of the Secretaries and let him know. I there waited his Majesty's 
command. I had an answer in about an hour that his Majesty, attended by the 
royal family and great officers of the Court, was coming out to receive me. I 
advanced a hundred yards. The Emperor and his train alighted from their 
horses, the Empress and ladies from their coaches, and I did not perceive they 
were in any fright or concern. I lay on the ground to kiss his Majesty's and 
the Empress's hand. I told his Majesty that I was come according to my 
promise, and with the license of the Emperor my master, to have the honour of 
seeing so mighty a monarch, and to offer him any service in my power, 
consistent with my duty to my own Prince, not mentioning a word of my 
disgrace, because I had hitherto no regular information of it, and might 
suppose myself wholly ignorant of any such design; neither could I reasonably 
conceive that the Emperor would discover the secret while I was out of his 
power, wherein, however, it soon appeared I was deceived.
I shall not trouble the reader with the particular account of my reception at 
this Court, which was suitable to the generosity of so great a Prince, nor of 
the difficulties I was in for want of a house and bed, being forced to lie on 
the ground wrapped up in my coverlet.


Chapter 8

The Author, by a lucky accident, finds means to leave Blefuscu, and, after 
some difficulties, returns safe to his native country.


Three days after my arrival, walking out of curiosity to the north-east coast 
of the island, I observed, about half a league off in the sea, somewhat that 
looked like a boat overturned. I pulled off my shoes and stockings, and, 
wading two or three hundred yards, I found the object to approach nearer by 
force of the tide, and then plainly saw it to be a real boat, which I supposed 
might, by some tempest, have been driven from a ship, whereupon I returned 
immediately towards the city, and desired his Imperial Majesty to lend me 
twenty of the tallest vessels he had left after the loss of his fleet, and 
three-thousand seamen under the command of the Vice-Admiral. This fleet sailed 
round, while I went back the shortest way to the coast where I first 
discovered the boat; I found the tide had driven it still nearer. The seamen 
were all provided with cordage, which I had beforehand twisted to a sufficient 
strength. When the ships came up I stripped myself and waded till I came 
within a hundred yards of the boat, after which I was forced to swim till I 
got up to it. The seamen threw me the end of the cord, which I fastened to a 
hole in the forepart of the boat, and the other end to a man-of-war; but I 
found all my labour to little purpose, for, being out of my depth, I was not 
able to work. In this necessity I was forced to swim behind, and push the boat 
forwards as often as I could with one of my hands, and, the tide favouring me, 
I advanced so far that I could just hold up my chin and feel the ground. I 
rested for two or three minutes, and then gave the boat another shove, and so 
on till the sea was no higher than my armpits; and now, the most laborious 
part being over, I took out my other cables which were stowed in one of the 
ships, and, fastening them first to the boat and then to nine of the vessels 
which attended me, the wind being favourable, the seamen towed and I shoved 
till we arrived within forty yards of the shore, and, waiting till the tide 
was out, I got dry to the boat, and by the assistance of two-thousand men with 
ropes and engines, I made a shift to turn it on its bottom, and found it was 
but little damaged.
I shall not trouble the reader with the difficulties I was under by the help 
of certain paddles, which cost me ten days making, to get my boat to the royal 
port of Blefuscu, where a mighty concourse of people appeared upon my arrival, 
full of wonder at the sight of so prodigious a vessel. I told the Emperor that 
my good fortune had thrown this boat in my way, to carry me to some place from 
whence I might return to my native country, and begged his Majesty's orders 
for getting materials to fit it up, together with his license to depart, 
which, after some kind expostulations, he was pleased to grant.
I did very much wonder, in all this time, not to have heard of any express 
relating to me from our Emperor to the Court of Blefuscu. But I was afterwards 
given privately to understand that his Imperial Majesty, never imagining I had 
the least notice of his designs, believed I was only gone to Blefuscu in 
performance of my promise, according to the license he had given me, which was 
well known at our Court, and would return in a few days when that ceremony was 
ended. But he was at last in pain at my long absence, and, after consulting 
with the Treasurer and the rest of that Cabal, a person of quality was 
despatched with the copy of the articles against me. This envoy had 
instructions to represent to the monarch of Blefuscu the great lenity of his 
master, who was content to punish me no further than with the loss of mine 
eyes; that I had fled from justice, and if I did not return in two hours I 
should be deprived of my title of Nardac and declared a traitor. The envoy 
further added that, in order to maintain the peace and amity between both 
empires, his master expected that his brother of Blefuscu would give orders to 
have me sent back to Lilliput, bound hand and foot, to be punished as a traitor.
The Emperor of Blefuscu, having taken three days to consult, returned an 
answer, consisting of many civilities and excuses. He said that, as for 
sending me bound, his brother knew it was impossible; that, although I had 
deprived him of his fleet, yet he owed great obligations to me for many good 
offices I had done him in making the peace. That, however, both their 
Majesties would soon be made easy, for I had found a prodigious vessel on the 
shore able to carry me on the sea, which he had given orders to fit up with my 
own assistance and direction, and he hoped in a few weeks both empires would 
be freed from so insupportable an encumbrance.
With this answer the envoy returned to Lilliput, and the monarch of Blefuscu 
related to me all that had passed, offering me at the same time (but under the 
strictest confidence) his gracious protection if I would continue in his 
service; wherein, although I believed him sincere, yet I resolved never more 
to put any confidence in Princes or Ministers where I could possibly avoid it, 
and therefore, with all due acknowledgments for his favourable intentions, I 
humbly begged to be excused. I told him that since fortune, whether good or 
evil, had thrown a vessel in my way, I was resolved to venture myself on the 
ocean rather than be an occasion of difference between two such mighty 
monarchs. Neither did I find the Emperor at all displeased; and I discovered, 
by a certain accident, that he was very glad of my resolution, and so were 
most of his Ministers.
These considerations moved me to hasten my departure somewhat sooner than I 
intended, to which the Court, impatient to have me gone, very readily 
contributed. Five hundred workmen were employed to make two sails to my boat, 
according to my directions, by quilting thirteen-fold of their strongest linen 
together. I was at the pains of making ropes and cables by twisting ten, 
twenty, or thirty of the thickest and strongest of theirs. A great stone that 
I happened to find after a long search by the seashore served me for an 
anchor. I had the tallow of three hundred cows for greasing my boat and other 
uses. I was at incredible pains in cutting down some of the largest timber-
trees for oars and masts, wherein I was, however, much assisted by his 
Majesty's ship-carpenters, who helped me in smoothing them after I had done 
the rough work.
In about a month, when all was prepared, I sent to receive his Majesty's 
commands and to take my leave. The Emperor and royal family came out of the 
palace; I lay down on my face to kiss his hand, which he very graciously gave 
me, so did the Empress and young Princes of the blood. His Majesty presented 
me with fifty purses of two hundred sprugs apiece, together with his picture 
at full length, which I put immediately into one of my gloves to keep it from 
being hurt. The ceremonies at my departure were too many to trouble the reader 
with at this time.
I stored the boat with the carcasses of a hundred oxen and three hundred 
sheep, with bread and drink proportionable, and as much meat ready dressed as 
four hundred cooks could provide. I took with me six cows and two bulls alive, 
with as many ewes and rams, intending to carry them into my own country and 
propagate the breed. And to feed them on board, I had a good bundle of hay and 
a bag of corn. I would gladly have taken a dozen of the natives, but this was 
a thing the Emperor would by no means permit; and, besides a diligent search 
into my pockets, his Majesty engaged my honour not to carry away any of his 
subjects, although with their own consent and desire.
Having thus prepared all things as well as I was able, I set sail on the 
twenty-fourth day of September, 1701, at six in the morning; and when I had 
gone about four leagues to the northward, the wind being at south-east, at six 
in the evening, I descried a small island about half a league to the north-
west. I advanced forward, and cast anchor on the lee side of the island, which 
seemed to be uninhabited. I then took some refreshment and went to my rest. I 
slept well, and I conjectured at least six hours, for I found the day broke in 
two hours after I awaked. It was a clear night. I ate my breakfast before the 
sun was up, and, heaving anchor, the wind being favourable, I steered the same 
course that I had done the day before, wherein I was directed by my pocket-
compass. My intention was to reach, if possible, one of those islands which I 
had reason to believe lay to the north-east of Van Diemen's Land. I discovered 
nothing all that day; but upon the next, about three in the afternoon, when I 
had by my computation made twenty-four leagues from Blefuscu, I descried a 
sail steering to the south-east. My course was due east. I hailed her, but 
could get no answer; yet I found I gained upon her, for the wind slackened. I 
made all the sail I could, and in half an hour she spied me, then hung out her 
ancient and discharged a gun. It is not easy to express the joy I was in upon 
the unexpected hope of once more seeing my beloved country, and the dear 
pledges I left in it. The ship slackened her sails, and I came up with her 
between five and six in the evening, September 26; but my heart leapt within 
me to see her English colours. I put my cows and sheep into my coat-pockets, 
and got on board with all my little cargo of provisions. The vessel was an 
English merchantman, returning from Japan by the North and South Seas; the 
captain, Mr. John Biddel of Deptford, a very civil man and an excellent 
sailor. We were now in the latitude of 30 degrees south; there were about 
fifty men in the ship, and here I met an old comrade of mine, one Peter 
Williams, who gave me a good character to the captain. This gentleman treated 
me with kindness, and desired I would let him know what place I came from last 
and whither I was bound, which I did in few words; but he thought I was 
raving, and that the dangers I underwent had disturbed my head, whereupon I 
took my black cattle and sheep out of my pocket, which, after great 
astonishment, clearly convinced him of my veracity. I then showed him the gold 
given me by the Emperor of Lilliput, together with his Majesty's picture at 
full length, and some other rarities of that country. I gave him two purses of 
two hundred sprugs each, and promised, when we arrived in England, to make him 
a present of a cow and a sheep big with young.
I shall not trouble the reader with a particular account of this voyage, which 
was very prosperous for the most part. We arrived in the Downs on the 13th of 
April, 1702. I had only one misfortune, that the rats on board carried away 
one of my sheep; I found her bones in a hole, picked clean from the flesh. The 
rest of my cattle I got safe on shore, and set them a-grazing in a bowling-
green at Greenwich, where the fineness of the grass made them feed very 
heartily, though I had always feared the contrary; neither could I possibly 
have preserved them in so long a voyage if the captain had not allowed me some 
of his best biscuit, which, rubbed to powder and mingled with water, was their 
constant food. The short time I continued in England I made a considerable 
profit by showing my cattle to many persons of quality and others, and before 
I began my second voyage I sold them for six hundred pounds. Since my last 
return, I find the breed is considerably increased, especially the sheep, 
which I hope will prove much to the advantage of the woollen manufacture by 
the fineness of the fleeces.
I stayed but two months with my wife and family, for my insatiable desire of 
seeing foreign countries would suffer me to continue no longer. I left fifteen 
hundred pounds with my wife, and fixed her in a good house at Redriff. My 
remaining stock I carried with me, part in money and part in goods, in hopes 
to improve my fortunes. My eldest uncle, John, had left me an estate in land, 
near Epping, of about thirty pounds a year, and I had a long lease of the 
Black Bull in Fetter Lane, which yielded me as much more, so that I was not in 
any danger of leaving my family upon the parish. My son Johnny, named so after 
his uncle, was at the Grammar School, and a towardly child. My daughter Betty 
(who is now well married, and has children) was then at her needlework. I took 
leave of my wife and boy and girl with tears on both sides, and went on board 
the Adventure, a merchant-ship of three hundred tons, bound for Surat, Captain 
John Nicholas of Liverpool, Commander. But my account of this voyage must be 
referred to the second part of my travels.


PART 2


A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG



Chapter 9

A great storm described. The longboat sent to fetch water; the Author goes 
with it to discover the country. He is left on shore, is seized by one of the 
natives, and carried to a farmer's house. His reception there, with several 
accidents that happened there. A description of the inhabitants.


Having been condemned by Nature and Fortune to an active and restless life, in 
ten months after my return I again left my native country and took shipping in 
the Downs on the 20th day of June, 1702, in the Adventure, Captain John 
Nicholas, a Cornishman, Commander, bound for Surat. We had a very prosperous 
gale till we arrived at the Cape of Good Hope, where we landed for fresh 
water, but, discovering a leak, we unshipped our goods and wintered there; for 
the captain falling sick of an ague, we could not leave the Cape till the end 
of March. We then set sail and had a good voyage till we passed the Straits of 
Madagascar; but having got northward of that island, and to about 5 degrees 
south latitude, the winds, which in those seas are observed to blow a constant 
equal gale between the north and west from the beginning of December to the 
beginning of May, on the 19th of April began to blow with much greater 
violence, and more westerly than usual, continuing so for twenty days 
together, during which time we were driven a little to the east of the Molucca 
Islands, and about three degrees northward of the line, as our captain found 
by an observation he took the 2nd of May, at which time the wind ceased, and 
it was a perfect calm, whereat I was not a little rejoiced. But he being a man 
well experienced in the navigation of those seas, bid us all prepare against a 
storm, which accordingly happened the day following, for a southern wind, 
called the southern monsoon, began to set in.
Finding it was like to overblow, we took in our spritsail, and stood by to 
hand the foresail; but making foul weather, we looked the guns were all fast, 
and handed the mizzen. The ship lay very broad off, so we thought it better 
spooning before the sea than trying or hulling. We reefed the foresail and set 
him, we hauled aft the foresheet; the helm was hard a-weather; the ship wore 
bravely. We belayed the fore-down-hall, but the sail was split, and we hauled 
down the yard, and got the sail into the ship, and unbound all the things 
clear of it. It was a very fierce storm; the sea broke strange and dangerous. 
We hauled off upon the lanyard of the whipstaff, and helped the man at helm. 
We would not get down our topmast, but let all stand, because she scudded 
before the sea very well, and we knew that the topmast being aloft, the ship 
was the wholesomer, and made better way through the sea, seeing we had sea-
room. When the storm was over we set foresail and mainsail, and brought the 
ship to. Then we set the mizzen, maintopsail, and the foretopsail. Our course 
was east-north-east, the wind was at south-west. We got the starboard tacks 
aboard, we cast off our weather-braces and lifts; we set in the lee-braces, 
and hauled forward by the weather-bowlings, and hauled them tight, and belayed 
them, and hauled over the mizzen-tack to windward, and kept her full and by as 
near as she could lie.
During this storm, which was followed by a strong wind west-south-west, we 
were carried, by my computations, about five hundred leagues to the east, so 
that the oldest sailor on board could not tell in what part of the world we 
were. Our provisions held out well, our ship was staunch, and our crew all in 
good health; but we lay in the utmost distress for water. We thought it best 
to hold on the same course rather than turn more northerly, which might have 
brought us to the north-west parts of Great Tartary, and into the frozen sea.
On the 16th day of June, 1703, a boy on the topmast discovered land. On the 
17th we came in full view of a great island or continent (for we knew not 
whether), on the south side whereof was a small neck of land jutting out into 
the sea, and a creek too shallow to hold a ship of above one hundred tons. We 
cast anchor within a league of this creek, and our captain sent a dozen of his 
men well armed in the longboat, with vessels for water if any could be found. 
I desired his leave to go with them that I might see the country, and make 
what discoveries I could. When we came to land we saw no river or spring, nor 
any sign of inhabitants. Our men therefore wandered on the shore to find out 
some fresh water near the sea, and I walked alone about a mile on the other 
side, where I observed the country all barren and rocky. I now began to be 
weary, and, seeing nothing to entertain my curiosity, I returned gently down 
towards the creek, and the sea being full in my view, I saw our men already 
got into the boat, and rowing for life to the ship. I was going to halloo 
after them, although it had been to little purpose, when I observed a huge 
creature walking after them in the sea as fast as he could; he waded not much 
deeper than his knees, and took prodigious strides; but our men had the start 
of him half a league, and the sea thereabouts being full of sharp-pointed 
rocks, the monster was not able to overtake the boat. This I was afterwards 
told, for I durst not stay to see the issue of that adventure, but ran as fast 
as I could the way I first went, and then climbed up a steep hill which gave 
me some prospect of the country. I found it fully cultivated; but that which 
first surprised me was the length of the grass, which in those grounds that 
seemed to be kept for hay was above twenty feet high.
I fell into a highroad, for so I took it to be, though it served to the 
inhabitants only as a footpath through a field of barley. Here I walked on for 
some time, but could see little on either side, it being now near harvest, and 
the corn rising at least forty feet. I was an hour walking to the end of this 
field, which was fenced in with a hedge of at least one hundred and twenty 
feet high, and the trees so lofty that I could make no computation of their 
altitude. There was a stile to pass from this field into the next. It had four 
steps and a stone to cross over when you came to the uppermost. It was 
impossible for me to climb this stile, because every step was six feet high 
and the upper stone above twenty. I was endeavouring to find some gap in the 
hedge when I discovered one of the inhabitants in the next field advancing 
towards the stile, of the same size with him whom I saw in the sea pursuing 
our boat. He appeared as tall as an ordinary spire-steeple, and took about ten 
yards at every stride, as near as I could guess. I was struck with the utmost 
fear and astonishment, and ran to hide myself in the corn, from whence I saw 
him at the top of the stile, looking back into the next field on the right 
hand, and heard him call in a voice many degrees louder than a speaking 
trumpet; but the noise was so high in the air that at first I certainly 
thought it was thunder. Whereupon seven monsters like himself came towards him 
with reaping-hooks in their hands, each hook about the largeness of six 
scythes. These people were not so well clad as the first, whose servants or 
labourers they seemed to be, for upon some words he spoke, they went to reap 
the corn in the field where I lay. I kept from them at as great a distance as 
I could, but was forced to move with extreme difficulty, for the stalks of the 
corn were sometimes not above I foot distant, so that I could hardly squeeze 
my body betwixt them. I made a shift to go forward till I came to a part of 
the field where the corn had been laid by the rain and wind. Here it was 
impossible for me to advance a step, for the stalks were so interwoven that I 
could not creep through, and the beards of the fallen ears so strong and 
pointed that they pierced through my clothes into my flesh. At the same time I 
heard the reapers not above a hundred yards behind me. Being quite dispirited 
with toil, and wholly overcome by grief and despair, I lay down between two 
ridges, and heartily wished I might there end my days. I bemoaned my desolate 
widow and fatherless children. I lamented my own folly and wilfulness in 
attempting a second voyage against the advice of all my friends and relations. 
In this terrible agitation of mind I could not forbear thinking of Lilliput, 
whose inhabitants looked upon me as the greatest prodigy that ever appeared in 
the world, where I was able to draw an imperial fleet in my hand, and perform 
those other actions which will be recorded for ever in the chronicles of that 
empire, while posterity shall hardly believe them, although attested by 
millions. I reflected what a mortification it must prove to me to appear as 
inconsiderable in this nation as one single Lilliputian would be among us. But 
this I conceived was to be the least of my misfortunes, for, as human 
creatures are observed to be more savage and cruel in proportion to their 
bulk, what could I expect but to be a morsel in the mouth of the first among 
these enormous barbarians that should happen to seize me? Undoubtedly 
philosophers are in the right when they tell us that nothing is great or 
little otherwise than by comparison. It might have pleased Fortune to let the 
Lilliputians find some nation where the people were as diminutive with respect 
to them as they were to me. And who knows but that even this prodigious race 
of mortals might be equally overmatched in some distant part of the world, 
whereof we have yet no discovery?
Scared and confounded as I was, I could not forbear going on with these 
reflections, when one of the reapers approaching within ten yards of the ridge 
where I lay, made me apprehend that with the next step I should be squashed to 
death under his foot, or cut in two with his reaping-hook. And therefore, when 
he was again about to move, I screamed as loud as fear could make me. 
Whereupon the huge creature trod short, and, looking round about under him for 
some time, at last espied me as I lay on the ground. He considered a while 
with the caution of one who endeavours to lay hold on a small, dangerous 
animal in such a manner that it may not be able either to scratch or to bite 
him, as I myself have sometimes done with a weasel in England. At length he 
ventured to take me up behind by the middle between his forefinger and thumb, 
and brought me within three yards of his eyes, that he might behold my shape 
more perfectly. I guessed his meaning, and my good fortune gave me so much 
presence of mind that I resolved not to struggle in the least as he held me in 
the air, about sixty feet from the ground, although he grievously pinched my 
sides, for fear I should slip through his fingers. All I ventured was to raise 
mine eyes towards the sun, and place my hands together in a supplicating 
posture, and to speak some words in a humble and melancholy tone, suitable to 
the condition I then was in. For I apprehended every moment that he would dash 
me against the ground, as we usually do any little hateful animal which we 
have a mind to destroy. But my good star would have it that he appeared 
pleased with my voice and gestures, and began to look upon me as a curiosity, 
much wondering to hear me pronounce articulate words, although he could not 
understand them. In the meantime I was not able to forbear groaning and 
shedding tears, and turning my head towards my sides, letting him know as well 
as I could how cruelly I was hurt by the pressure of his thumb and finger. He 
seemed to apprehend my meaning, for lifting up the lappet of his coat, he put 
me gently into it, and immediately ran along with me to his master, who was a 
substantial farmer, and the same person I had first seen in the field.
The farmer having (as I supposed by their talk) received such an account of me 
as his servant could give him, took a piece of a small straw, about the size 
of a walking staff, and therewith lifted up the lappets of my coat, which it 
seems he thought to be some kind of covering that Nature had given me. He blew 
my hairs aside to take a better view of my face. He called his hinds about 
him, and asked them (as I afterwards learned) whether they had ever seen in 
the fields any little creature that resembled me? He then placed me softly on 
the ground upon all four, but I got immediately up and walked slowly backwards 
and forwards, to let those people see I had no intent to run away. They all 
sat down in a circle about me, the better to observe my motions. I pulled off 
my hat and made a low bow towards the farmer. I fell on my knees and lifted up 
my hands and eyes, and spoke several words as loud as I could; I took a purse 
of gold out of my pocket and humbly presented it to him. He received it on the 
palm of his hand, then applied it close to the eye to see what it was, and 
afterwards turned it several times with the point of a pin (which he took out 
of his sleeve), but could make nothing of it. Whereupon I made a sign that he 
should place his hand on the ground. I took the purse, and opening it, poured 
all the gold into his palm. There were six Spanish pieces off our pistoles 
each, besides twenty or thirty smaller coins. I saw him wet the tip of his 
little finger upon his tongue, and take up one of my largest pieces and then 
another, but he seemed to be wholly ignorant what they were. He made me a sign 
to put them again into my purse, and the purse again into my pocket, which 
after offering to him several times, I thought it best to do.
The farmer by this time was convinced that I must be a rational creature. He 
spoke often to me, but the sound of his voice pierced my ears like that of a 
water-mill, yet his words were articulate enough. I answered as loud as I 
could in several languages, and he often laid his ear within two yards of me; 
but all in vain, for we were wholly unintelligible to each other. He then sent 
his servants to their work, and taking his handkerchief out of his pocket, he 
doubled and spread it on his left hand, which he placed flat on the ground 
with the palm upwards, making me a sign to step into it, as I could easily do, 
for it was not above a foot in thickness. I thought it my part to obey, and, 
for fear of falling, laid myself at length upon the handkerchief, with the 
remainder of which he lapped me up to the head for further security, and in 
this manner carried me home to his house. There he called his wife and showed 
me to her, but she screamed and ran back, as women in England do at the sight 
of a toad or a spider. However, when she had awhile seen my behaviour and how 
well I observed the signs her husband made, she was soon reconciled, and by 
degrees grew extremely tender of me.
It was about twelve at noon, and a servant brought in dinner. It was only one 
substantial dish of meat (fit for the plain condition of a husbandman) in a 
dish of about four and twenty feet diameter. The company were the farmer and 
his wife, three children, and an old grandmother. When they were sat down, the 
farmer placed me at some distance from him on the table, which was thirty feet 
high from the floor. I was in a terrible fright, and kept as far as I could 
from the edge for fear of falling. The wife minced a bit of meat, then 
crumbled some bread on a trencher, and placed it before me. I made her a long 
bow, took out my knife and fork, and fell to eat, which gave them exceeding 
delight. The mistress sent her maid for a small dram-cup, which held about 
three gallons, and filled it with drink. I took up the vessel with much 
difficulty in both hands, and in a most respectful manner drank to her 
ladyship's health, expressing the words as loud as I could in English, which 
made the company laugh so heartily that I was almost deafened with the noise. 
This liquor tasted like a small cider, and was not unpleasant. Then the master 
made me a sign to come to his trencher-side; but as I walked on the table, 
being in great surprise all the time, as the indulgent reader will easily 
conceive and excuse, I happened to stumble against a crust, and fell flat on 
my face, but received no hurt. I got up immediately, and observing the good 
people to be in much concern, I took my hat (which I held under my arm out of 
good manners), and, waving it over my head, made three huzzas, to show I had 
got no mischief by my fall. But, advancing forwards toward my master (as I 
shall henceforth call him), his youngest son, who sat next him, an arch boy of 
about ten years old, took me up by the legs, and held me so high in the air 
that I trembled in every limb; but his father snatched me from him, and at the 
same time gave him such a box on the left ear as would have felled an European 
troop of horse to the earth, ordering him to be taken from the table. But 
being afraid the boy might owe me a spite, and well remembering how 
mischievous all children among us naturally are to sparrows, rabbits, young 
kittens, and puppy dogs, I fell on my knees, and, pointing to the boy, made my 
master to understand, as well as I could, that I desired his son might be 
pardoned. The father complied, and the lad took his seat again; whereupon I 
went to him and kissed his hand, which my master took, and made him stroke me 
gently with it.
In the midst of dinner my mistress's favourite cat leapt into her lap. I heard 
a noise behind me like that of a dozen stocking weavers at work; and, turning 
my head, I found it proceeded from the purring of this animal, who seemed to 
be three times larger than an ox, as I computed by the view of her head and 
one of her paws while her mistress was feeding and stroking her. The 
fierceness of this creature's countenance altogether discomposed me, though I 
stood at the further end of the table, above fifty feet off, and although my 
mistress held her fast for fear she might give a spring and seize me in her 
talons. But it happened there was no danger, for the cat took not the least 
notice of me when my master placed me within three yards of her. And as I have 
been always told, and found true by experience in my travels, that flying, or 
discovering fear before a fierce animal, is a certain way to make it pursue or 
attack you, so I resolved in this dangerous juncture to show no manner of 
concern. I walked with intrepidity five or six times before the very head of 
the cat, and came within half a yard of her, whereupon she drew herself back, 
as if she were more afraid of me. I had less apprehension concerning the dogs, 
whereof three or four came into the room, as it is usual in farmers' houses, 
one of which was a mastiff, equal in bulk to four elephants, and a greyhound 
somewhat taller than the mastiff, but not so large.
When dinner was almost done the nurse came in with a child of a year old in 
her arms, who immediately spied me, and began a squall that you might have 
heard from London Bridge to Chelsea, after the usual oratory of infants, to 
get me for a plaything. The mother, out of pure indulgence, took me up and put 
me towards the child, who presently seized me by the middle and got my head in 
his mouth, where I roared so loud that the urchin was frightened and let me 
drop, and I should infallibly have broken my neck if the mother had not held 
her apron under me. The nurse, to quiet her babe, made use of a rattle, which 
was a kind of hollow vessel filled with great stones, and fastened by a cable 
to the child's waist. But all in vain, so that she was forced to apply the 
last remedy -by giving it suck. I must confess no object ever disgusted me so 
much as the sight of her monstrous breast, which I cannot tell what to compare 
with, so as to give the curious reader an idea of its bulk, shape, and colour. 
It stood prominent six feet, and could not be less than sixteen in 
circumference. The nipple was about half the bigness of my head, and the hue 
both of that and the dug so varified with spots, pimples, and freckles that 
nothing could appear more nauseous. For I had a near sight of her, she sitting 
down the more conveniently to give suck, and I standing on the table. This 
made me reflect upon the fair skins of our English ladies, who appear so 
beautiful to us, only because they are of our own size, and their defects not 
to be seen but through a magnifying glass, where we find by experiment that 
the smoothest and whitest skins look rough and coarse and ill-coloured.
I remember when I was at Lilliput the complexions of those diminutive people 
appeared to me the fairest in the world, and talking upon this subject with a 
person of learning there, who was an intimate friend of mine, he said that my 
face appeared much fairer and smoother when he looked on me from the ground 
than it did upon a nearer view when I took him up in my hand and brought him 
close, which he confessed was at first a very shocking sight. He said he could 
discover great holes in my skin, that the stumps of my beard were ten times 
stronger than the bristles of a boar, and my complexion made up of several 
colours altogether disagreeable -although I must beg leave to say for myself 
that I am as fair as most of my sex and country, and very little sunburnt by 
my travels. On the other side, discoursing of the ladies in that Emperor's 
Court, he used to tell me one had freckles, another too wide a mouth a third 
too large a nose, nothing of which I was able to distinguish. I confess this 
reflection was obvious enough; which, however, I could not forbear, lest the 
reader might think those vast creatures were actually deformed, for I must do 
them justice to say they are a comely race of people, and particularly the 
features of my master's countenance, although he were but a farmer, when I 
beheld him from the height of sixty feet, appeared very well proportioned.
When dinner was done my master went out to his labourers, and, as I could 
discover by his voice and gesture, gave his wife a strict charge to take care 
of me. I was very much tired and disposed to sleep, which my mistress 
perceiving, she put me on her own bed and covered me with a clean white 
handkerchief, but larger and coarser than the mainsail of a man-of-war.
I slept about two hours, and dreamed I was at home with my wife and children, 
which aggravated my sorrows when I awaked and found myself alone in a vast 
room between two and three hundred feet wide, and above two hundred high, 
lying in a bed twenty yards wide. My mistress was gone about her household 
affairs, and had locked me in. The bed was eight yards from the floor. Some 
natural necessities required me to get down; I durst not presume to call, and 
if I had, it would have been in vain with such a voice as mine, at so great a 
distance as from the room where I lay to the kitchen where the family kept. 
While I was under these circumstances, two rats crept up the curtains and ran 
smelling backwards and forwards on the bed. One of them came up almost to my 
face, whereupon I rose in a fright and drew out my hanger to defend myself. 
These horrible animals had the boldness to attack me on both sides, and one of 
them held his forefeet at my collar, but I had the good fortune to rip up his 
belly before he could do me any mischief. He fell down at my feet, and the 
other, seeing the fate of his comrade, made his escape, but not without one 
good wound on the back, which I gave him as he fled, and made the blood run 
trickling from him. After this exploit, I walked gently to and fro on the bed 
to recover my breath and loss of spirits. These creatures were of the size of 
a large mastiff, but infinitely more nimble and fierce, so that if I had taken 
off my belt before I went to sleep I must have infallibly been torn to pieces 
and devoured. I measured the tail of the dead rat and found it to be two yards 
long, wanting an inch; but it went against my stomach to drag the carcass off 
the bed, where it lay still bleeding; I observed it had yet some life, but 
with a strong slash cross the neck I thoroughly despatched it.
Soon after my mistress came into the room, who, seeing me all bloody, ran and 
took me up in her hand. I pointed to the dead rat, smiling and making other 
signs to show I was not hurt, whereat she was extremely rejoiced, calling the 
maid to take up the dead rat with a pair of tongs, and throw it out of the 
window. Then she set me on a table, where I showed her my hanger all bloody, 
and, wiping it on the lappet of my coat, returned it to the scabbard. I was 
pressed to do more than one thing which another could not do for me, and 
therefore endeavoured to make my mistress understand that I desired to be set 
down on the floor; which after she had done, my bashfulness would not suffer 
me to express myself farther than by pointing to the door and bowing several 
times. The good woman with much difficulty at last perceived what I would be 
at, and taking me up again in her hand, walked into the garden, where she set 
me down. I went on one side about two hundred yards, and, beckoning to her not 
to look or to follow me, I hid myself between two leaves of sorrel, and there 
discharged the necessities of nature.
I hope the gentle reader will excuse me for dwelling on these and the like 
particulars, which, however insignificant they may appear to grovelling, 
vulgar minds, yet will certainly help a philosopher to enlarge his thoughts 
and imagination, and apply them to the benefit of public as well as private 
life, which was my sole design in presenting this and other accounts of my 
travels to the world, wherein I have been chiefly studious of truth, without 
affecting any ornaments of learning or of style. But the whole scene of this 
voyage made so strong an impression on my mind, and is so deeply fixed in my 
memory, that in committing it to paper I did not omit one material 
circumstance. However, upon a strict review, I blotted out several passages of 
less moment which were in my first copy, for fear of being censured as tedious 
and trifling, whereof travellers are often, perhaps not without justice, 
accused.


Chapter 10

A description of the farmer's daughter. The Author carried to a market-town, 
and then to the metropolis. The particulars of his journey.


My mistress had a daughter of nine years old, a child of forward parts for her 
age, very dextrous at her needle, and skilful in dressing her baby. Her mother 
and she contrived to fit up the baby's cradle for me against night. The cradle 
was put into a small drawer of a cabinet, and the drawer placed upon a hanging-
shelf for fear of the rats. This was my bed all the time I stayed with those 
people, though made more convenient by degrees, as I began to learn the 
language and make my wants known. This young girl was so handy that after I 
once or twice pulled off my clothes before her she was able to dress and 
undress me, though I never gave her that trouble when she would let me do 
either myself. She made me seven shirts, and some other linen of as fine cloth 
as could be got, which indeed was coarser than sackcloth, and these she 
constantly washed for me with her own hands. She was likewise my 
schoolmistress to teach me the language. When I pointed to anything, she told 
me the name of it in her own tongue, so that in a few days I was able to call 
for whatever I had a mind to. She was very good-natured, and not above forty 
feet high, being little for her age. She gave me the name of "Grildrig," which 
the family took up, and afterwards the whole kingdom. The word imports what 
the Latins call "nanunculus," the Italians "homunceletino," and the English 
"manikin." To her I chiefly owe my preservation in that country; we never 
parted while I was there. I called her my "Glumdalclitch," or little nurse, 
and I should be guilty of great ingratitude if I omitted this honourable 
mention of her care and affection towards me, which I heartily wish it lay in 
my power to requite as she deserves, instead of being the innocent but unhappy 
instrument of her disgrace, as I have too much reason to fear.
It now began to be known and talked of in the neighbourhood that my master had 
found a strange animal in the field about the bigness of a splacknuck, but 
exactly shaped in every part like a human creature, which it likewise imitated 
in all its actions -seemed to speak in a little language of its own, had 
already learned several words of theirs, went erect upon two legs, was tame 
and gentle, would come when it was called, do whatever it was bid, had the 
finest limbs in the world, and a complexion fairer than a nobleman's daughter 
of three years old. Another farmer who lived hard by, and was a particular 
friend of my master, came on a visit on purpose to inquire into the truth of 
this story. I was immediately produced and placed upon a table, where I walked 
as I was commanded, drew my hanger, put it up again, made my reverence to my 
master's guest, asked him in his own language how he did, and told him he was 
welcome, just as my little nurse had instructed me. This man, who was old and 
dim-sighted, put on his spectacles to behold me better, at which I could not 
forbear laughing very heartily, for his eyes appeared like the full moon 
shining into a chamber at two windows. Our people, who discovered the cause of 
my mirth, bore me company in laughing, at which the old fellow was fool enough 
to be angry and out of countenance. He had the character of a great miser, and 
to my misfortune he well deserved it by the cursed advice he gave my master to 
show me as a sight on a market-day in the next town, which was half an hour's 
riding, about two and twenty miles from our house. I guessed there was some 
mischief contriving, when I observed my master and his friend whispering long 
together, sometimes pointing at me; and my fears made me fancy that I 
overheard and understood some of their words. But the next morning, 
Glumdalclitch, my little nurse, told me the whole matter, which she had 
cunningly picked out from her mother. The poor girl laid me on her bosom and 
fell weeping with shame and grief. She apprehended some mischief would happen 
to me from rude vulgar folks, who might squeeze me to death or break one of my 
limbs by taking me in their hands. She had also observed how modest I was in 
my nature, how nicely I regarded my honour, and what an indignity I should 
conceive it to be exposed for money as a public spectacle to the meanest of 
people. She said her papa and mamma had promised that Grildrig should be hers, 
but now she found they meant to serve her as they did last year, when they 
pretended to give her a lamb, and yet as soon as it was fat sold it to a 
butcher. For my own part, I may truly affirm that I was less concerned than my 
nurse. I had a strong hope, which never left me, that I should one day recover 
my liberty, and as to the ignominy of being carried about for a monster, I 
considered myself to be a perfect stranger in the country, and that such a 
misfortune could never be charged upon me as a reproach if ever I should 
return to England; since the King of Great Britain himself, in my condition, 
must have undergone the same distress.
My master, pursuant to the advice of his friend, carried me in a box the next 
market-day to the neighbouring town, and took along with him his daughter, my 
nurse, upon a pillion behind him. The box was closed on every side, with a 
little door for me to go in and out, and a few gimlet holes to let in air. The 
girl had been so careful to put the quilt of her baby's bed into it for me to 
lie down on. However, I was terribly shaken and discomposed in this journey, 
though it were but of half an hour. For the horse went about forty feet at 
every step, and trotted so high that the agitation was equal to the rising and 
falling of a ship in a great storm, but much more frequent. Our journey was 
somewhat further than from London to St. Albans. My master alighted at an inn 
which he used to frequent; and after consulting awhile with the innkeeper, and 
making some necessary preparations, he hired the Grultrud, or Crier, to give 
notice through the town of a strange creature to be seen at the sign of the 
Green Eagle, not so big as a splacknuck (an animal in that country very finely 
shaped, about six feet long) and in every part of the body resembling a human 
creature, could speak several words, and perform a hundred diverting tricks.
I was placed upon a table in the largest room of the inn, which might be near 
three hundred feet square. My little nurse stood on a low stool close to the 
table to take care of me, and direct what I should do. My master, to avoid a 
crowd, would suffer only thirty people at a time to see me. I walked about on 
the table as the girl commanded: she asked me questions as far as she knew my 
understanding of the language reached, and I answered them as loud as I could. 
I turned about several times to the company, paid my humble respects, said 
they were welcome, and used some other speeches I had been taught. I took up a 
thimble filled with liquor, which Glumdalclitch had given me for a cup, and 
drank their health. I drew out my hanger and flourished with it after the 
manner of fencers in England. My nurse gave me part of a straw, which I 
exercised as a pike, having learned the art in my youth. I was that day shown 
to twelve sets of company, and as often forced to go over again with the same 
fopperies, till I was half dead with weariness and vexation. For those who had 
seen me made such wonderful reports, that the people were ready to break down 
the doors to come in. My master, for his own interest, would not suffer anyone 
to touch me except my nurse, and to prevent danger, benches were set around 
the table at such a distance as put me out of everybody's reach. However, an 
unlucky schoolboy aimed a hazelnut directly at my head, which very narrowly 
missed me; otherwise, it came with such violence that it would have infallibly 
knocked out my brains, for it was almost as large as a small pumpion. But I 
had the satisfaction to see the young rogue well beaten and turned out of the 
room.
My master gave public notice that he would show me again the next market-day, 
and in the meantime he prepared a more convenient vehicle for me which he had 
reason enough to do, for I was so tired with my first journey, and 
entertaining company for eight hours together, that I could hardly stand upon 
my legs or speak a word. It was at least three days before I recovered my 
strength, and that I might have no rest at home, all the neighbouring 
gentlemen from a hundred miles round, hearing of my fame, came to see me at my 
master's own house. There could not be fewer than thirty persons with their 
wives and children (for the country was very populous), and my master demanded 
the rate of a full room whenever he showed me at home, although it were only 
to a single family, so that for some time I had but little ease every day of 
the week (except Wednesday, which is their sabbath), although I was not 
carried to the town.
My master finding how profitable I was like to be, resolved to carry me to the 
most considerable cities of the kingdom. Having therefore provided himself 
with all things necessary for a long journey, and settled his affairs at home, 
he took leave of his wife, and upon the 17th of August, 1703, about two months 
after my arrival, we set out for the metropolis, situated near the middle of 
that empire, and about three-thousand miles distance from our house. My master 
made his daughter Glumdalclitch ride behind him. She carried me on her lap in 
a box tied about her waist. The girl had lined it on all sides with the 
softest cloth she could get, well quilted underneath, furnished it with her 
baby's bed, provided me with linen and other necessaries, and made everything 
as convenient as she could. We had no other company but a boy of the house, 
who rode after us with the luggage.
My master's design was to show me in all the towns by the way, and to step out 
of the road for fifty or a hundred miles to any village or person of quality's 
house where he might expect custom. We made easy journeys of not above seven 
or eight score miles a day, for Glumdalclitch, on purpose to spare me, 
complained that she was tired with the trotting of the horse. She often took 
me out of my box at my own desire, to give me air and show me the country, but 
always held me fast by the leading string. We passed over five or six rivers 
many degrees broader and deeper than the Nile or the Ganges, and there was 
hardly a rivulet so small as the Thames at London Bridge. We were ten weeks in 
our journey, and I was shown in eighteen large towns besides many villages and 
private families.
On the 26th day of October we arrived at the metropolis, called in their 
language `Lorbrulgrud,' or Pride of the Universe. My master took a lodging in 
the principal street of the city, not far from the royal palace, and put out 
bills in the usual form, containing an exact description of my person and 
parts. He hired a large room between three and four hundred feet wide. He 
provided a table sixty feet in diameter, upon which I was to act my part, and 
palisadoed it round three feet from the edge, and as many high, to prevent my 
falling over. I was shown ten times a day to the wonder and satisfaction of 
all people. I could now speak the language tolerably well, and perfectly 
understood every word that was spoken to me. Besides, I had learned their 
alphabet, and could make a shift to explain a sentence here and there, for 
Glumdalclitch had been my instructor while we were at home, and at leisure 
hours during our journey. She carried a little book in her pocket, not much 
larger than a Sanson's atlas; it was a common treatise for the use of young 
girls, giving a short account of their religion; out of this she taught me my 
letters, and interpreted the words.


Chapter 11

The Author sent for to Court. The Queen buys him of his master the farmer, and 
presents him to the King. He disputes with his Majesty's great scholars. An 
apartment at Court provided for the Author. He is in high favour with the 
Queen. He stands up for the honour of his own country. His quarrels with the 
Queen's dwarf.


The frequent labours I underwent every day made in a few weeks a very 
considerable change in my health. The more my master got by me, the more 
unsatiable he grew. I had quite lost my stomach, and was almost reduced to a 
skeleton. The farmer observed it, and concluding I soon must die, resolved to 
make as good a hand of me as he could. While he was thus reasoning and 
resolving with himself, a slardral, or gentleman-usher, came from Court, 
commanding my master to carry me immediately thither for the diversion of the 
Queen and her ladies. Some of the latter had already been to see me and 
reported strange things of my beauty, behaviour, and good sense. Her Majesty, 
and those who attended her, were beyond measure delighted with my demeanour. I 
fell on my knees and begged the honour of kissing her imperial foot; but this 
gracious Princess held out her little finger towards me (after I was set on a 
table), which I embraced in both my arms, and put the tip of it, with the 
utmost respect, to my lip. She made me some general questions about my country 
and my travels, which I answered as distinctly and in as few words as I could. 
She asked whether I would be content to live at Court. I bowed down to the 
board of the table, and humbly answered that I was my master's slave, but if I 
were at my own disposal I should be proud to devote my life to her Majesty's 
service. She then asked my master whether he were willing to sell me at a good 
price. He, who apprehended I could not live a month, was ready enough to part 
with me, and demanded a thousand pieces of gold, which were ordered him on the 
spot, each piece being about the size of 800 moidores; but allowing for the 
proportion of all things between that country and Europe, and the high price 
of gold among them, was hardly so great a sum as a thousand guineas would be 
in England. I then said to the Queen, since I was now her Majesty's most 
humble creature and vassal, I must beg the favour that Glumdalclitch, who had 
always tended me with so much care and kindness, and understood to do it so 
well, might be admitted into her service and continue to be my nurse and 
instructor. Her Majesty agreed to my petition, and easily got the farmer's 
consent, who was glad enough to have his daughter preferred at Court, and the 
poor girl herself was not able to hide her joy. My late master withdrew, 
bidding me farewell and saying he had left me in a good service, to which I 
replied not a word, only making him a slight bow.
The Queen observed my coldness, and when the farmer was gone out of the 
apartment, asked me the reason. I made bold to tell her Majesty that I owed no 
other obligation to my late master than his not dashing out the brains of a 
poor harmless creature found by chance in his field; which obligation was 
amply recompensed by the gain he had made in showing me through half the 
kingdom, and the price he had now sold me for. That the life I had since led 
was laborious enough to kill an animal of ten times my strength. That my 
health was much impaired by the continual drudgery of entertaining the rabble 
every hour of the day, and that if my master had not thought my life in 
danger, her Majesty would not have got so cheap a bargain. But as I was out of 
all fear of being ill-treated under the protection of so great and good an 
Empress, the ornament of nature, the darling of the world, the delight of her 
subjects, the Phoenix of the creation, so I hoped my late master's 
apprehensions would appear to be groundless, for I already found my spirits to 
revive by the influence of her most august presence.
This was the sum of my speech, delivered with great improprieties and 
hesitation; the latter part was altogether framed in the style peculiar to 
that people, whereof I learned some phrases from Glumdalclitch, while she was 
carrying me to Court.
The Queen, giving great allowance for my defectiveness in speaking, was, 
however, surprised at so much wit and good sense in so diminutive an animal. 
She took me in her own hands and carried me to the King, who was then retired 
to his cabinet. His Majesty, a Prince of much gravity and austere countenance, 
not well observing my shape at first view, asked the Queen after a cold 
manner, how long it was since she grew fond of a splacknuck, for such it seems 
he took me to be, as I lay upon my breast in her Majesty's right hand. But 
this Princess, who has an infinite deal of wit and humour, set me gently on my 
feet upon the escritoire, and commanded me to give his Majesty an account of 
myself, which I did in a very few words, and Glumdalclitch, who attended at 
the cabinet door, and could not endure I should be out of her sight, being 
admitted, confirmed all that had passed from my arrival at her father's house.
The King, although he be as learned a person as any in his dominions, had been 
educated in the study of philosophy, and particularly mathematics, yet when he 
observed my shape exactly, and saw me walk erect before I began to speak, 
conceived I might be a piece of clockwork (which is in that country arrived to 
a very great perfection) contrived by some ingenious artist. But when he heard 
my voice and found what I delivered to be regular and rational, he could not 
conceal his astonishment. He was by no means satisfied with the relation I 
gave him of the manner I came into his kingdom, but thought it a story 
concerted between Glumdalclitch and her father, who had taught me a set of 
words to make me sell at a higher price. Upon this imagination he put several 
other questions to me and still received rational answers, not otherwise 
defective than by a foreign accent, and an imperfect knowledge in the 
language, with some rustic phrases which I had learned at the farmer's house, 
and did not suit the polite style of a Court.
His Majesty sent for three great scholars who were then in their weekly 
waiting (according to the custom in that country). These gentlemen, after they 
had awhile examined my shape with much nicety, were of different opinions 
concerning me. They all agreed that I could not be produced according to the 
regular laws of nature, because I was not framed with a capacity of preserving 
my life, either by swiftness, or climbing of trees, or digging holes in the 
earth. They observed by my teeth, which they viewed with great exactness, that 
I was a carnivorous animal; yet most quadrupeds being an overmatch for me, and 
fieldmice, with some others, too nimble, they could not imagine how I should 
be able to support myself, unless I fed upon snails and other insects, which 
they offered, by many learned arguments, to evince that I could not possibly 
do. One of these virtuosi seemed to think that I might be an embryo, or 
abortive birth. But this opinion was rejected by the other two, who observed 
my limbs to be perfect and finished, and that I had lived several years, as it 
was manifest from my beard, the stumps whereof they plainly discovered through 
a magnifying glass. They would not allow me to be a dwarf, because my 
littleness was beyond all degrees of comparison, for the Queen's favourite 
dwarf, the smallest ever known in that kingdom, was near thirty feet high. 
After much debate they concluded unanimously that I was only relplum scalcath, 
which is interpreted literally, lusus naturae; a determination exactly 
agreeable to the modern philosophy of Europe, whose professors, disdaining the 
old evasion of occult causes, whereby the followers of Aristotle endeavour in 
vain to disguise their ignorance, have invented this wonderful solution of all 
difficulties, to the unspeakable advancement of human knowledge.
After this decisive conclusion I entreated to be heard a word or two. I 
applied myself to the King, and assured his Majesty that I came from a country 
which abounded with several millions of both sexes, and of my own stature; 
where the animals, trees, and houses were all in proportion, and where by 
consequence I might be as able to defend myself and to find sustenance as any 
of his Majesty's subjects could do here; which I took for a full answer to 
those gentlemen's arguments. To this they only replied with a smile of 
contempt, saying that the farmer had instructed me very well in my lesson. The 
King, who had a much better understanding, dismissing his learned men, sent 
for the farmer, who by good fortune was not yet gone out of town. Having 
therefore first examined him privately, and then confronted him with me and 
the young girl, his Majesty began to think that what we told him might 
possibly be true. He desired the Queen to order that a particular care should 
be taken of me, and was of opinion that Glumdalclitch should still continue in 
her office of tending me, because he observed we had a great affection for 
each other. A convenient apartment was provided for her at Court; she had a 
sort of governess appointed to take care of her education, a maid to dress 
her, and two other servants for menial offices; but the care of me was wholly 
appropriated to herself. The Queen commanded her own cabinet-maker to contrive 
a box that might serve me for a bedchamber, after the model that Glumdalclitch 
and I should agree upon. This man was a most ingenious artist, and according 
to my directions, in three weeks finished for me a wooden chamber of sixteen 
feet square and twelve high, with sash windows, a door, and two closets, like 
a London bedchamber. The board that made the ceiling was to be lifted up and 
down by two hinges, to put in a bed ready furnished by her Majesty's 
upholsterer, which Glumdalclitch took out every day to air, made it with her 
own hands, and letting it down at night locked up the roof over me. A nice 
workman, who was famous for little curiosities, undertook to make me two 
chairs with backs and frames, of a substance not unlike ivory, and two tables, 
with a cabinet to put my things in. The room was quilted on all sides, as well 
as the floor and the ceiling, to prevent any accident from the carelessness of 
those who carried me, and to break the force of a jolt when I went in a coach. 
I desired a lock for my door to prevent rats and mice from coming in. The 
smith, after several attempts, made the smallest that was ever seen among 
them, for I have known a larger at the gate of a gentleman's house in England. 
I made a shift to keep the key in a pocket of my own fearing Glumdalclitch 
might lose it. The Queen likewise ordered the thinnest silks that could be 
gotten to make me clothes, not much thicker than an English blanket, very 
cumbersome till I was accustomed to them. They were after the fashion of the 
kingdom, partly resembling the Persian, and partly the Chinese, and are a very 
grave and decent habit.
The Queen became so fond of my company, that she could not dine without me. I 
had a table placed upon the same at which her Majesty ate, just at her left 
elbow, and a chair to sit on. Glumdalclitch stood upon a stool on the floor 
near my table, to assist and take care of me. I had an entire set of silver 
dishes and plates, and other necessaries, which in proportion to those of the 
Queen, were not much bigger than what I have seen of the same kind in a London 
toy-shop, for the furniture of a baby-house. These my little nurse kept in her 
pocket in a silver box, and gave me at meals as I wanted them, always cleaning 
them herself. No person dined with the Queen but the two Princesses Royal, the 
elder sixteen years old, and the younger at that time thirteen and a month. 
Her Majesty used to put a bit of meat upon one of my dishes, out of which I 
carved for myself; and her diversion was to see me eat in miniature. For the 
Queen (who had indeed but a weak stomach) took up at one mouthful as much as a 
dozen English farmers could eat at a meal, which to me was for some time a 
very nauseous sight. She would crunch the wing of a lark, bones and all, 
between her teeth, although it were nine times as large as that of a full 
grown turkey; and put a bit of bread in her mouth as big as two twelve-penny 
loaves. She drank out of a golden cup, above a hogshead at a draught. Her 
knives were twice as long as a scythe, set straight upon the handle. The 
spoons, forks, and other instruments were all in the same proportion. I 
remember when Glumdalclitch carried me out of curiosity to see some of the 
tables at Court, where ten or a dozen of these enormous knives and forks were 
lifted up together. I thought I had never, till then, beheld so terrible a 
sight.
It is the custom that every Wednesday (which, as I have before observed, was 
their Sabbath) the King and Queen, with the royal issue of both sexes, dine 
together in the apartment of his Majesty, to whom I was now become a great 
favourite, and at these times my little chair and table were placed at his 
left hand, before one of the salt-cellars. This Prince took a pleasure in 
conversing with me, inquiring into the manners, religion, laws, government, 
and learning of Europe, wherein I gave him the best account I was able. His 
comprehension was so clear, and his judgment so exact, that he made very wise 
reflections and observations upon all I said. But I confess, that after I had 
been a little too copious in talking of my own beloved country, of our trade, 
and wars by sea and land, of our schisms in religion and parties in the State, 
the prejudices of his education prevailed so far that he could not forbear 
taking me up in his right hand, and stroking me gently with the other, after a 
hearty fit of laughing, asked me whether I were a Whig or a Tory. Then turning 
to his first Minister, who waited behind him with a white staff near as tall 
as the mainmast of the Royal Sovereign, he observed how contemptible a thing 
was human grandeur, which could be mimicked by such diminutive insects as I; 
"and yet," said he, "I dare engage, these creatures have their titles and 
distinctions of honour, they contrive little nests and burrows that they call 
houses and cities; they make a figure in dress and equipage; they love, they 
fight, they dispute, they cheat, they betray." And thus he continued on, while 
my colour came and went several times with indignation, to hear our noble 
country, the mistress of arts and arms, the scourge of France, the arbitress 
of Europe, the seat of virtue, piety, honour, and truth, the pride and envy of 
the world, so contemptuously treated.
But, as I was not in a condition to resent injuries so, upon mature thoughts, 
I began to doubt whether I was injured or no. For after having been accustomed 
several months to the sight and converse of this people, and observed every 
object upon which I cast mine eyes to be of proportionable magnitude, the 
horror I had first conceived from their bulk and aspect was so far worn off 
that, if I had then beheld a company of English lords and ladies in their 
finery and birthday clothes, acting their several parts in the most courtly 
manner of strutting and bowing and prating, to say the truth, I should have 
been strongly tempted to laugh as much at them as the King and his grandees 
did at me. Neither indeed could I forbear smiling at myself when the Queen 
used to place me upon her hand towards a looking-glass, by which both our 
persons appeared before me in full view together, and there could be nothing 
more ridiculous than the comparison; so that I really began to imagine myself 
dwindled many degrees below my usual size.
Nothing angered and mortified me so much as the Queen's dwarf, who, being of 
the lowest stature that was ever in that country (for I verily think he was 
not full thirty feet high), became insolent at seeing a creature so much 
beneath him, that he would always affect to swagger and look big as he passed 
by me in the Queen's antechamber, while I was standing on some table talking 
with the lords or ladies of the Court; and he seldom failed of a small word or 
two upon my littleness, against which I could only revenge myself by calling 
him brother, challenging him to wrestle, and such repartees as are usual in 
the mouths of Court pages. One day at dinner this malicious little cub was so 
nettled with something I had said to him that, raising himself upon the frame 
of her Majesty's chair, he took me up by the middle as I was sitting down, not 
thinking any harm, and let me drop into a large silver bowl of cream, and then 
ran away as fast as he could. I fell over head and ears, and if I had not been 
a good swimmer it might have gone very hard with me, for Glumdalclitch in that 
instant happened to be at the other end of the room, and the Queen was in such 
a fright that she wanted presence of mind to assist me. But my little nurse 
ran to my relief and took me out after I had swallowed above a quart of cream. 
I was put to bed. However, I received no other damage than the loss of a suit 
of clothes, which was utterly spoiled. The dwarf was soundly whipped, and as a 
further punishment, forced to drink up the bowl of cream, into which he had 
thrown me; neither was he ever restored to favour, for soon after the Queen 
bestowed him to a lady of high quality, so that I saw him no more, to my very 
great satisfaction, for I could not tell to what extremity such a malicious 
urchin might have carried his resentment.
He had before served me a scurvy trick, which set the Queen a-laughing, 
although at the same time she was heartily vexed, and would have immediately 
cashiered him if I had not been so generous as to intercede. Her Majesty had 
taken a marrow-bone upon her plate, and after knocking out the marrow, placed 
the bone again in the dish erect as it stood before; the dwarf watching his 
opportunity while Glumdalclitch was gone to the sideboard, mounted upon the 
stool she stood on to take care of me at meals, took me up in both hands, and 
squeezing my legs together, wedged them into the marrow-bone above my waist, 
where I stuck for some time and made a very ridiculous figure. I believe it 
was near a minute before anyone knew what was become of me, for I thought it 
below me to cry out. But as Princes seldom get their meat hot, my legs were 
not scalded, only my stockings and breeches in a sad condition. The dwarf, at 
my entreaty, had no other punishment than a sound whipping.
I was frequently rallied by the Queen upon account of my fearfulness, and she 
used to ask me whether the people of my country were as great cowards as 
myself? The occasion was this: The kingdom is much pestered with flies in 
summer, and these odious insects, each of them as big as a Dunstable lark, 
hardly gave me any rest while I sat at dinner, with their continual humming 
and buzzing about my ears. They would sometimes alight upon my victuals, and 
leave their loathsome excrement or spawn behind, which to me was very visible, 
though not to the natives of that country, whose large optics were not so 
acute as mine in viewing smaller objects. Sometimes they would fix upon my 
nose or forehead, where they stung me to the quick, smelling very offensively, 
and I could easily trace that viscous matter, which our naturalists tell us 
enables those creatures to walk with their feet upwards upon a ceiling. I had 
much ado to defend myself against these detestable animals, and could not 
forbear starting when they came on my face. It was the common practice of the 
dwarf to catch a number of these insects in his hand, as schoolboys do among 
us, and let them out suddenly under my nose on purpose to frighten me and 
divert the Queen. My remedy was to cut them in pieces with my knife as they 
flew in the air, wherein my dexterity was much admired.
I remember one morning when Glumdalclitch had set me in my box upon a window, 
as she usually did in fair days to give me air (for I durst not venture to let 
the box be hung on a nail out of the window, as we do with cages in England), 
after I had lifted up one of my sashes, and sat down at my table to eat a 
piece of sweet cake for my breakfast, about twenty wasps, allured by the 
smell, came flying into the room humming louder than the drones of as many 
bagpipes. Some of them seized my cake and carried it piecemeal away, others 
flew about my head and face, confounding me with the noise, and putting me in 
the utmost terror of their stings. However, I had the courage to rise and draw 
my hanger and attack them in the air. I despatched four of them, but the rest 
got away, and I presently shut my window. These creatures were as large as 
partridges. I took out their stings, found them an inch and a half long, and 
as sharp as needles. I carefully preserved them all, and, having since shown 
them with other curiosities in several parts of Europe, upon my return to 
England I gave three of them to Gresham College, and kept the fourth for myself.


Chapter 12

The country described. A proposal for correcting modern maps. The King's 
palace, and some account of the metropolis. The Author's way of travelling. 
The chief temple described.


I now intend to give the reader a short description of this country, as far as 
I travelled in it, which was not above two-thousand miles round Lorbrulgrud, 
the metropolis. For the Queen, whom I always attended, never went further when 
she accompanied the King in his progresses, and there stayed till his Majesty 
returned from viewing his frontiers. The whole extent of this Prince's 
dominions reaches about six-thousand miles in length, and from three to five 
in breadth. From whence I cannot but conclude that our geographers of Europe 
are in a great error by supposing nothing but sea between Japan and 
California; for it was ever my opinion that there must be a balance of earth 
to counterpoise the great continent of Tartary; and therefore they ought to 
correct their maps and charts by joining this vast tract of land to the north-
west parts of America, wherein I shall be ready to lend them my assistance.
The kingdom is a peninsula, terminated to the north-east by a ridge of 
mountains thirty miles high, which are altogether impassable by reason of the 
volcanoes upon the top. Neither do the most learned know what sort of mortals 
inhabit beyond those mountains, or whether they be inhabited at all. On the 
three other sides it is bounded by the ocean. There is not one seaport in the 
whole kingdom, and those parts of the coasts into which the rivers issue are 
so full of pointed rocks, and the sea generally so rough, that there is no 
venturing with the smallest of their boats, so that these people are wholly 
excluded from any commerce with the rest of the world. But the large rivers 
are full of vessels, and abound with excellent fish, for they seldom get any 
from the sea, because the seafish are of the same size with those of Europe, 
and consequently not worth catching; whereby it is manifest that Nature, in 
the production of plants and animals of so extraordinary a bulk, is wholly 
confined to this continent, of which I leave the reasons to be determined by 
philosophers. However, now and then they take a whale that happens to be 
dashed against the rocks, which the common people feed on heartily. These 
whales I have known so large that a man could hardly carry one upon his 
shoulders, and sometimes for curiosity they are brought in hampers to 
Lorbrulgrud. I saw one of them in a dish at the King's table, which passed for 
a rarity, but I did not observe he was fond of it; for I think, indeed, the 
bigness disgusted him, although I have seen one somewhat larger in Greenland.
The country is well inhabited, for it contains fifty-one cities, near a 
hundred walled towns, and a great number of villages. To satisfy my curious 
reader, it may be sufficient to describe Lorbrulgrud. This city stands upon 
almost two equal parts on each side of the river that passes through. It 
contains above eighty-thousand houses, and about six-hundred-thousand 
inhabitants. It is in length three glonglungs (which make about fifty-four 
English miles), and two and a half in breadth, as I measured it myself in the 
royal map made by the King's order, which was laid on the ground on purpose 
for me, and extended a hundred feet. I paced the diameter and circumference 
several times barefoot, and computing by the scale, measured it pretty exactly.
The King's palace is no regular edifice, but a heap of buildings about seven 
miles round; the chief rooms are generally two hundred and forty feet high, 
and broad and long in proportion. A coach was allowed to Glumdalclitch and me, 
wherein her governess frequently took her out to see the town, or go among the 
shops; and I was always of the party, carried in my box, although the girl, at 
my own desire, would often take me out and hold me in her hand that I might 
more conveniently view the houses and the people as we passed along the 
streets. I reckoned our coach to be about a square of Westminster Hall, but 
not altogether so high; however, I cannot be very exact. One day the governess 
ordered our coachman to stop at several shops, where the beggars, watching 
their opportunity, crowded to the sides of the coach, and gave me the most 
horrible spectacles that ever an English eye beheld. There was a woman with a 
cancer in her breast, swelled to a monstrous size, full of holes, in two or 
three of which I could have easily crept and covered my whole body. There was 
a fellow with a wen in his neck larger than five woolpacks, and another with a 
couple of wooden legs, each about twenty feet high. But the most hateful sight 
of all was the lice crawling on their clothes. I could see distinctly the 
limbs of these vermin with my naked eye, much better than those of a European 
louse through a microscope, and their snouts, with which they rooted like 
swine. They were the first I had ever beheld, and I should have been curious 
enough to dissect one of them if I had proper instruments (which I unluckily 
left behind me in the ship), although, indeed, the sight was so nauseous that 
it perfectly turned my stomach.
Besides the large box in which I was usually carried, the Queen ordered a 
smaller one to be made for me, of about twelve foot square and ten high, for 
the convenience of travelling, because the other was somewhat too large for 
Glumdalclitch's lap and cumbersome in the coach; it was made by the same 
artist, whom I directed in the whole contrivance. This travelling-closet was 
an exact square, with a window in the middle of three of the squares, and each 
window was latticed with iron wire on the outside to prevent accidents in long 
journeys. On the fourth side, which had no window, two strong staples were 
fixed, through which the person that carried me, when I had a mind to be on 
horseback, put a leathern belt and buckled it about his waist. This was always 
the office of some grave, trusty servant in whom I could confide, whether I 
attended the King and Queen in their progresses, or were disposed to see the 
gardens, or pay a visit to some great lady or Minister of State in the Court, 
when Glumdalclitch happened to be out of order. For I soon began to be known 
and esteemed among the greatest officers; I suppose more upon account of their 
Majesty's favour than any merit of my own. In journeys, when I was weary of 
the coach, a servant on horseback would buckle my box and place it on a 
cushion before him, and there I had a full prospect of the country on three 
sides from my three windows. I had in this closet a field-bed and a hammock 
hung from the ceiling, two chairs, and a table, neatly screwed to the floor, 
to prevent being tossed about by the agitation of the horse or the coach. And 
having been long used to sea voyages, those motions, although sometimes very 
violent, did not much discompose me.
Whenever I had a mind to see the town, it was always in my travelling-closet, 
which Glumdalclitch held in her lap in a kind of open sedan after the fashion 
of the country, borne by four men, and attended by two others in the Queen's 
livery. The people, who had often heard of me, were very curious to crowd 
about the sedan, and the girl was complaisant enough to make the bearers stop, 
and to take me in her hand that I might be more conveniently seen.
I was very desirous to see the chief temple, and particularly the tower 
belonging to it, which is reckoned the highest in the kingdom. Accordingly, 
one day my nurse carried me thither; but I may truly say I came back 
disappointed, for the height is not above three-thousand feet, and reckoning 
from the ground to the highest pinnacle top, which, allowing for the 
difference between the size of those people and us in Europe, is no great 
matter for admiration, nor at all equal in proportion (if I rightly remember) 
to Salisbury steeple. But, not to detract from a nation to which during my 
life I shall acknowledge myself extremely obliged, it must be allowed that 
whatever this famous tower wants in height is amply made up in beauty and 
strength. For the walls are nearly a hundred feet thick, built of hewn stone, 
whereof each is about forty feet square, and adorned on all sides with statues 
of gods and Emperors cut in marble larger than the life, placed in their 
several niches. I measured a little finger which had fallen down from one of 
these statues, and lay unperceived among some rubbish, and found it exactly 
four foot and an inch in length. Glumdalclitch wrapped it up in a 
handkerchief, and carried it home in her pocket to keep among other trinkets, 
of which the girl was very fond, as children at her age usually are.
The King's kitchen is indeed a noble building, vaulted at top, and about six 
hundred feet high. The great oven is not so wide by ten paces as the cupola at 
St. Paul's, for I measured the latter on purpose after my return. But if I 
should describe the kitchen-grate, the prodigious pots and kettles, the joints 
of meat turning on the spits, with many other particulars, perhaps I should be 
hardly believed; at least, a severe critic would be apt to think I enlarged a 
little, as travellers are often suspected to do. To avoid which censure, I 
fear I have run too much into the other extreme, and that if this treatise 
should happen to be translated into the language of Brobdingnag (which is the 
general name of that kingdom) and transmitted thither, the King and his people 
would have reason to complain that I had done them an injury by a false and 
diminutive representation.
His Majesty seldom keeps above six hundred horses in his stables. They are 
generally from fifty-four to sixty feet high. But when he goes abroad on 
solemn days, he is attended for State by a militia guard of five hundred 
horse, which, indeed, I thought was the most splendid sight that could be ever 
beheld, till I saw part of his army in battalia, whereof i shall find another 
occasion to speak.


Chapter 13

Several adventures that happened to the Author. The execution of a criminal. 
The Author shows his skill in navigation.


I should have lived happy enough in that country if my littleness had not 
exposed me to several ridiculous and troublesome accidents, some of which I 
shall venture to relate. Glumdalclitch often carried me into the gardens of 
the Court in my smaller box, and would sometimes take me out of it and hold me 
in her hand, or set me down to walk. I remember, before the dwarf left the 
Queen, he followed us one day into those gardens, and my nurse having set me 
down, he and I being close together near some dwarf apple-trees, I must need 
show my wit by a silly allusion between him and the trees, which happens to 
hold in their language as it does in ours. Whereupon, the malicious rogue 
watching his opportunity, when I was walking under one of them, shook it 
directly over my head, by which a dozen apples, each of them near as large as 
a Bristol barrel, came tumbling about my ears; one of them hit me on the back 
as I chanced to stoop, and knocked me down flat on my face, but I received no 
other hurt, and the dwarf was pardoned at my desire, because I had given the 
provocation.
Another day Glumdalclitch left me on a smooth grass plot to divert myself 
while she walked at some distance with her governess. In the meantime there 
suddenly fell such a violent shower of hail that I was immediately by the 
force of it struck to the ground; and when I was down the hailstones gave me 
such cruel bangs all over my body, as if I had been pelted with tennis balls; 
however, I made a shift to creep on all four, and shelter myself by lying flat 
on my face on the lee side of a border of lemon thyme, but so bruised from 
head to foot that I could not go abroad in ten days. Neither is this at all to 
be wondered at, because Nature in that country observing the same proportion 
through all her operations, a hailstone is near eighteen hundred times as 
large as one in Europe, which I can assert upon experience, having been so 
curious to weigh and measure them.
But a more dangerous accident happened to me in the same garden, when my 
little nurse, believing she had put me in a secure place, which I often 
entreated her to do, that I might enjoy my own thoughts, and having left my 
box at home to avoid the trouble of carrying it, went to another part of the 
gardens with her governess and some ladies of her acquaintance. While she was 
absent and out of hearing, a small white spaniel belonging to one of the chief 
gardeners, having got by accident into the garden, happened to range near the 
place where I lay; the dog, following the scent, came directly up, and taking 
me in his mouth, ran straight to his master, wagging his tail, and set me 
gently on the ground. By good fortune he had been so well taught that I was 
carried between his teeth without the least hurt, or even tearing my clothes. 
But the poor gardener, who knew me well, and had a great kindness for me, was 
in a terrible fright; he gently took me up in both his hands and asked me how 
I did; but I was so amazed and out of breath that I could not speak a word. In 
a few minutes I came to myself, and he carried me safe to my little nurse, who 
by this time had returned to the place where she left me, and was in cruel 
agonies when I did not appear, nor answer when she called. She severely 
reprimanded the gardener on account of his dog. But the thing was hushed up 
and never known at Court, for the girl was afraid of the Queen's anger, and 
truly, as to myself, I thought it would not be for my reputation that such a 
story should go about.
This accident absolutely determined Glumdalclitch never to trust me abroad for 
the future out of her sight. I had been long afraid of this resolution, and 
therefore concealed from her some little unlucky adventures that happened in 
those times when I was left by myself. Once a kite hovering over the garden 
made a swoop at me, and if I had not resolutely drawn my hanger and ran under 
a thick espalier, he would have certainly carried me away in his talons. 
Another time, walking to the top of a fresh molehill, I fell to my neck in the 
hole, through which that animal had cast up the earth, and coined some lie, 
not worth remembering, to excuse myself for spoiling my clothes. I likewise 
broke my right shin against the shell of a snail, which I happened to stumble 
over as I was walking alone and thinking on poor England.
I cannot tell whether I were more pleased or mortified to observe in those 
solitary walks that the smaller birds did not appear to be at all afraid of 
me, but would hop about within a yard distance, looking for worms and other 
food, with as much indifference and security as if no creature at all were 
near them. I remember a thrush had the confidence to snatch out of my hand 
with his bill a piece of cake that Glumdalclitch had just given me for my 
breakfast. When I attempted to catch any of these birds, they would boldly 
turn against me, endeavouring to pick my fingers, which I dare not venture 
within their reach; and then they would turn back unconcerned to hunt for 
worms or snails, as they did before. But one day I took a thick cudgel, and 
threw it with all my strength so luckily at a linnet that I knocked him down, 
and, seizing him by the neck with both my hands, ran with him in triumph to my 
nurse. However the bird, who had only been stunned, recovering himself, gave 
me so many boxes with his wings on both sides of my head and body, though I 
held him at arm's-length, and was out of the reach of his claws, that I was 
twenty times thinking to let him go. But I was soon relieved by one of our 
servants, who wrung off the bird's neck, and I had him next day for dinner, by 
the Queen's command. This linnet, as near as I can remember, seemed to be 
somewhat larger than an English swan.
The maids of honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their apartments, and 
desired she would bring me along with her, on purpose to have the pleasure of 
seeing and touching me. They would often strip me naked from top to toe, and 
lay me at full length in their bosoms, wherewith I was much disgusted, 
because, to say the truth, a very offensive smell came from their skins, which 
I do not mention or intend to the disadvantage of those excellent ladies, for 
whom I have all manner of respect; but I conceive that my sense was more acute 
in proportion to my littleness, and that those illustrious persons were no 
more disagreeable to their lovers or to each other than people of the same 
quality are with us in England. And, after all, I found their natural smell 
was much more supportable than when they used perfumes under which I 
immediately swooned away. I cannot forget that an intimate friend of mine in 
Lilliput took the freedom on a warm day, when I had used a good deal of 
exercise, to complain of a strong smell about me, although I am as little 
faulty that way as most of my sex; but I suppose his faculty of smelling was 
as nice with regards to me as mine was to that of this people. Upon this point 
I cannot forebear doing justice to the Queen, my mistress and Glumdalclitch, 
my nurse, whose persons were as sweet as those of any lady in England.
That which gave me most uneasiness among these maids of honour, when my nurse 
carried me to visit them, was to see them use me without any manner of 
ceremony, like a creature who had no sort of consequence; for they would strip 
themselves to the skin, and put on their smocks in my presence, while I was 
placed on their toilet directly before their naked bodies, which I am sure, to 
me was very far from being a tempting sight, or from giving me any other 
emotions than those of horror and disgust. Their skins appeared so coarse and 
uneven, so variously coloured, when I saw them near, with a mole here and 
there as broad as a trencher, and hairs hanging from it thicker than pack-
threads, to say nothing further concerning the rest of their persons. Neither 
did they at all scruple while I was by to discharge what they had drunk, to 
the quantity of at least two hogsheads, in a vessel that held above three 
tuns. The handsomest among these maids of honour, a pleasant frolicsome girl 
of sixteen, would sometimes set me astride upon one of her nipples, with many 
other tricks, wherein the reader will excuse me for not being over particular. 
But I was so much displeased that I entreated Glumdalclitch to contrive some 
excuse for not seeing that young lady any more.
One day a young gentleman, who was nephew to my nurse's governess, came and 
pressed them both to see an execution. It was of a man who had murdered one of 
that gentleman's intimate acquaintance. Glumdalclitch was prevailed on to be 
of the company, very much against her inclination, for she was naturally 
tender-hearted; and, as for myself, although I abhorred such kind of 
spectacles, yet my curiosity tempted me to see something that I thought must 
be extraordinary. The malefactor was fixed in a chair upon a scaffold erected 
for the purpose, and his head cut off at a blow with a sword of about forty 
feet long. The veins and arteries spouted up such a prodigious quantity of 
blood, and so high in the air, that the great jet d'eau at Versailles was not 
equal for the time it lasted; and the head, when it fell on the scaffold 
floor, gave such a bounce as made me start, although I were at least half an 
English mile distant.
The Queen, who often used to hear me talk of my sea voyages, and took all 
occasions to divert me when I was melancholy, asked me whether I understood 
how to handle a sail or an oar, and whether a little exercise of rowing might 
not be convenient for my health. I answered that I understood both very well; 
for although my proper employment had been to be surgeon or doctor to the 
ship, yet often, upon a pinch, I was forced to work like a common mariner. But 
I could not see how this could be done in their country, where the smallest 
wherry was equal to a first-rate man-of-war among us, and such a boat as I 
could manage would never live in any of their rivers. Her Majesty said, if I 
would contrive a boat, her own joiner should make it, and she would provide a 
place for me to sail in. The fellow was an ingenious workman, and by my 
instructions in ten days finished a pleasure-boat with all its tackling, able 
conveniently to hold eight Europeans. When it was finished, the Queen was so 
delighted that she ran with it in her lap to the King, who ordered it to be 
put in a cistern full of water, with me in it, by way of trial; where I could 
not manage my two sculls, or little oars, for want of room. But the Queen had 
before contrived another project. She ordered the joiner to make a wooden 
trough of three hundred feet long, fifty broad, and eight deep, which, being 
well pitched to prevent leaking, was placed on the floor along the wall in an 
outer room of the palace. It had a cock near the bottom to let out the water 
when it began to grow stale, and two servants could easily fill it in half an 
hour. Here I often used to row for my own diversions, as well as that of the 
Queen and her ladies, who thought themselves well entertained with my skill 
and agility. Sometimes I would put up my sail, and then my business was only 
to steer, while the ladies gave me a gale with their fans; and when they were 
weary, some of the pages would blow my sail forward with their breath, while I 
showed my art by steering starboard and larboard, as I pleased. When I had 
done, Glumdalclitch always carried back my boat into her closet, and hung it 
on a nail to dry.
In this exercise I once met an accident which had like to have cost me my 
life, for one of the pages having put my boat into the trough, the governess 
who attended Glumdalclitch very officiously lifted me up to place me in the 
boat, but I happened to slip through her fingers, and should have infallibly 
fallen down forty feet upon the floor if by the luckiest chance in the world, 
I had not been stopped by a corking-pin that stuck in the good gentlewoman's 
stomacher; the head of the pin passed between my shirt and the waistband of my 
breeches, and thus I was held by the middle in the air till Glumdalclitch ran 
to my relief.
Another time one of the servants, whose office it was to fill my trough every 
third day with fresh water, was so careless to let a huge frog (not perceiving 
it) slip out of his pail. The frog lay concealed till I was put into my boat, 
but then, seeing a resting-place, climbed up, and made it lean so much on one 
side that I was forced to balance it with all my weight on the other to 
prevent overturning. When the frog was got in, it hopped at once half the 
length of the boat, and then over my head, backwards and forwards, daubing my 
face and clothes with its odious slime. The largeness of its features made it 
appear the most deformed animal that can be conceived. However, I desired 
Glumdalclitch to let me deal with it alone. I banged it a good while with one 
of my sculls, and at last forced it to leap out of the boat.
But the greatest danger I ever underwent in that kingdom was from a monkey, 
who belonged to one of the clerks of the kitchen. Glumdalclitch had locked me 
up in her closet while she went somewhere upon business or a visit. The 
weather being very warm, the closet window was left open, as well as the 
windows and doors of my bigger box, in which I usually lived, because of its 
largeness and convenience. As I sat quietly meditating at my table. I heard 
something bounce in at the closet window, and skip about from one side to the 
other; whereat, although I was much alarmed, yet I ventured to look out, but 
not stirring from my seat, and then I saw this frolicksome animal, frisking 
and leaping up and down, till at last he came to my box, which he seemed to 
view with great pleasure and curiosity, peeping in at the door and every 
window. I retreated to the farther corner of my room, or box, but the monkey, 
looking in at every side, put me into such a fright that I wanted presence of 
mind to conceal myself under the bed, as I might easily have done. After some 
time spent in peeping, grinning, and chattering, he at last espied me, and 
reaching one of his paws in at the door, as a cat does when she plays with a 
mouse, although I often shifted my place to avoid him, he at length caught 
hold of the lappet of my coat (which, being made of that country cloth, was 
very thick and strong), and dragged me out. He took me up in his right 
forefoot, and held me as a nurse does a child she is going to suckle, just as 
I have seen the same sort of creature do with a kitten in Europe; and when I 
offered to struggle, he squeezed me so hard that I thought it more prudent to 
submit. I have good reason to believe that he took me for a young one of his 
own species, by his often stroking my face very gently with his other paw. In 
these diversions he was interrupted by a noise at the closet door, as if 
somebody were opening it, whereupon he suddenly leaped up to the window at 
which he had come in, and thence upon the leads and gutters, walking upon 
three legs and holding me in the fourth, till he clambered up to a roof that 
was next to ours. I heard Glumdalclitch give a shriek at the moment he was 
carrying me out. The poor girl was almost distracted; that quarter of the 
palace was all in an uproar; the servants ran for ladders; the monkey was seen 
by hundreds in the Court, sitting upon the ridge of a building, holding me 
like a baby in one of his forepaws, and feeding me with the other, by cramming 
into my mouth some victuals he had squeezed out of the bag on one side of his 
chaps, and patting me when I would not eat, whereat many of the rabble below 
could not forbear laughing; neither do I think they justly ought to be blamed, 
for without question the sight was ridiculous enough to everybody but myself. 
Some of the people threw up stones, hoping to drive the monkey down; but this 
was strictly forbidden, or else very probably my brains had been dashed out.
The ladders were now applied and mounted by several men, which the monkey 
observing, and finding himself almost encompassed, not being able to make 
speed enough with his three legs, let me drop on a ridge-tile, and made his 
escape. Here I sat for some time, three hundred yards from the ground, 
expecting every moment to be blown down by the wind or to fall by my own 
giddiness, and come tumbling over and over from the ridge to the eaves; but an 
honest lad, one of my nurse's footmen, climbed up, and putting me into his 
breeches pocket, brought me down safe.
I was almost choked with the filthy stuff the monkey had crammed down my 
throat; but my dear little nurse picked it out of my mouth with a small 
needle, and then I fell a-vomiting, which gave me great relief. Yet I was so 
weak and bruised in the sides with the squeezes given me by this odious animal 
that I was forced to keep my bed a fortnight. The King, Queen, and all the 
Court sent every day to inquire after my health, and her Majesty made me 
several visits during my sickness. The monkey was killed, and an order made 
that no such animal should be kept about the palace.
When I attended the King after my recovery, to return him thanks for his 
favours, he was pleased to rally me a good deal upon this adventure. He asked 
me what my thoughts and speculations were while I lay in the monkey's paw; how 
I liked the victuals he gave me; his manner of feeding; and whether the fresh 
air on the roof had sharpened my stomach. He desired to know what I would have 
done upon such an occasion in my own country. I told his Majesty that in 
Europe we had no monkeys, except such as were brought for curiosities from 
other places, and so small that I could deal with a dozen of them together if 
they presumed to attack me. And as for that monstrous animal with whom I was 
so lately engaged (it was, indeed, as large as an elephant), if my fears had 
suffered me to think so far as to make use of my hanger (looking fiercely and 
clapping my hand upon the hilt as I spoke), when he poked his paw into my 
chamber, perhaps I should have given him such a wound as would have made him 
glad to withdraw it with more haste than he put it in. This I delivered in a 
firm tone, like a person who was jealous lest his honour should be called in 
question. However, my speech produced nothing else besides a loud laughter, 
which all the respect due to his Majesty from those about him could not make 
them contain. This made me reflect how vain an attempt it is for a man to 
endeavour doing himself honour among those who are out of all degree of 
equality or comparison with him. And yet I have seen the moral of my own 
behaviour very frequent in England since my return, where a little 
contemptible valet, without the least title to birth, person, wit, or 
commonsense, shall presume to look with importance, and put himself upon a 
foot with the greatest persons of the kingdom.
I was every day furnishing the Court with some ridiculous story; and 
Glumdalclitch, although she loved me to excess, yet was arch enough to inform 
the Queen whenever I committed any folly that she thought would be diverting 
to her Majesty. The girl, who had been out of order, was carried by her 
governess to take the air about an hour's distance, or thirty miles from town. 
They alighted out of the coach near a small footpath in a field, and 
Glumdalclitch setting down my travelling-box, I went out of it to walk. There 
was a cow-dung in the path, and I must needs try my activity by attempting to 
leap over it. I took a run, but unfortunately jumped short, and found myself 
just in the middle up to my knees. I waded through with some difficulty, and 
one of the footmen wiped me as clean as he could with his handkerchief, for I 
was filthily bemired, and my nurse confined me to my box till we returned 
home, where the Queen was soon informed of what had passed, and the footmen 
spread it about the Court, so that all the mirth for some days was at my 
expense.


Chapter 14

Several contrivances of the Author to please the King and Queen. He shows his 
skill in music. The King inquires into the state of Europe, which the Author 
relates to him. The King's observations thereon.


I used to attend the King's levee once or twice a week, and had often seen him 
under the barber's hand, which, indeed, was at first very terrible to behold, 
for the razor was almost twice as long as an ordinary scythe. His Majesty, 
according to the custom of the country, was only shaved twice a week. I once 
prevailed upon the barber to give me some of the suds or lather, out of which 
I picked forty or fifty of the strongest stumps of hair. I then took a piece 
of fine wood, and cut it like the back of a comb, making several holes in it 
at equal distances with as small a needle as I could get from Glumdalclitch. I 
fixed in the stumps so artificially, scraping and sloping them with my knife 
towards the points, that I made a very tolerable comb, which was a seasonable 
supply, my own being so much broken in the teeth that it was almost useless; 
neither did I know any artist in that country so nice and exact as would 
undertake to make me another.
And this puts me in mind of an amusement wherein I spent many of my leisure 
hours. I desired the Queen's woman to save for me the combings of her 
Majesty's hair, whereof in time, I got a good quantity, and, consulting with 
my friend the cabinet-maker, who had received general orders to do little jobs 
for me, I directed him to make two chair-frames no larger than those I had in 
my box, and then to bore little holes with a fine awl round those parts where 
I designed the backs and seats. Through these holes I wove the strongest hairs 
I could pick out, just after the manner of cane-chairs in England. When they 
were finished, I made a present of them to her Majesty, who kept them in her 
cabinet, and used to show them for curiosities, as, indeed, they were the 
wonder of everyone that beheld them. The Queen would have had me sit upon one 
of these chairs, but I absolutely refused to obey her, protesting I would 
rather die a thousand deaths than place a dishonourable part of my body on 
those precious hairs that once adorned her Majesty's head. of these hairs (as 
I had always a mechanical genius) I likewise made a neat little purse about 
five feet long, with her Majesty's name deciphered in gold letters, which I 
gave to Glumdalclitch, by the Queen's consent. To say the truth, it was more 
for show than use, being not of strength to bear the weight of the larger 
coins, and therefore she kept nothing in it, but some little toys that girls 
are fond of.
The King, who delighted in music, had frequent concerts at Court, to which I 
was sometimes carried, and set in my box on a table to hear them; but the 
noise was so great that I could hardly distinguish the tunes. I am confident 
that all the drums and trumpets of a royal army, beating and sounding together 
just at your ears, could not equal it. My practice was to have my box removed 
from the places where the performers sat as far as I could, then to shut the 
doors and windows of it and draw the window curtains, after which I found 
their music not disagreeable.
I had learned in my youth to play a little upon the spinet. Glumdalclitch kept 
one in her chamber, and a master attended twice a week to teach her: I call it 
a spinet because it somewhat resembled that instrument, and was played upon in 
the same manner. A fancy came into my head that I would entertain the King and 
Queen with an English tune upon this instrument. But this appeared extremely 
difficult, for the spinet was nearly sixty feet long, each key being almost a 
foot wide, so that, with my arms extended, I could not reach to above five 
keys, and to press them down required a good smart stroke with my fist, which 
would be too great a labour and to no purpose. The method I contrived was 
this: I prepared two round sticks about the bigness of common cudgels; they 
were thicker at one end than the other, and I covered the thicker ends with a 
piece of a mouse's skin, that by rapping on them I might neither damage the 
tops of the keys nor interrupt the sound. Before the spinet a bench was placed 
about four feet below the keys, and I was put upon the bench. I ran sidelong 
upon it that way and this as fast as I could, banging the proper keys with my 
two sticks, and made a shift to play a jig, to the great satisfaction of both 
their Majesties. But it was the most violent exercise I ever underwent, and 
yet I could not strike above sixteen keys, nor, consequently, play the bass 
and treble together, as other artists do, which was a great disadvantage to my 
performance.
The King, who, as I before observed, was a Prince of excellent understanding, 
would frequently order that I should be brought in my box and set upon the 
table in his closet. He would then command me to bring one of my chairs out of 
the box, and sit down within three yards distance upon the top of the cabinet, 
which brought me almost to a level with his face. In this manner I had several 
conversations with him. I one day took the freedom to tell his Majesty that 
the contempt he discovered towards Europe and the rest of the world did not 
seem answerable to those excellent qualities of the mind he was master of. 
That reason did not extend itself with the bulk of the body. On the contrary, 
we observed in our country that the tallest persons were usually the least 
provided with it. That among other animals, bees and ants had the reputation 
of more industry, art, and sagacity than many of the larger kinds; and that, 
as inconsiderable as he took me to be, I hoped I might live to do his Majesty 
some signal service. The King heard me with attention, and began to conceive a 
much better opinion of me than he had ever before. He desired I would give him 
as exact an account of the government of England as I possibly could, because, 
as fond as Princes commonly are of their own customs (for so he conjectured of 
other monarchs by my former discourses), he should be glad to hear of anything 
that might deserve imitation.
Imagine with thyself, courteous reader, how often I then wished for the tongue 
of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might have enabled me to celebrate the praise 
of my own dear native country in a style equal to its merits and felicity.
I began my discourse by informing his Majesty that our dominions consisted of 
two islands, which composed three mighty kingdoms under one Sovereign, besides 
our plantations in America. I dwelt long upon the fertility of our soil and 
the temperature of our climate. I then spoke at large upon the constitution of 
an English Parliament, partly made up of an illustrious body called the House 
of Peers, persons of the noblest blood and of the most ancient and ample 
patrimonies. I described that extraordinary care always taken of their 
education in arts and arms, to qualify them for being counsellors born to the 
King and kingdom; to have a share in the legislature; to be members of the 
highest Court of Judicature, from whence there could be no appeal; and to be 
champions always ready for the defence of their Prince and country, by their 
valour, conduct, and fidelity. That these were the ornament and bulwark of the 
kingdom, worthy followers of their most renowned ancestors, whose honour had 
been the reward of their virtue, from which their posterity were never once 
known to degenerate. To these were joined several holy persons, as part of 
that assembly, under the title of Bishops, whose peculiar business it is to 
take care of religion, and of those who instruct the people therein. These 
were searched and sought out through the whole nation by the Prince and his 
wisest counsellors, among such of the priesthood as were most deservedly 
distinguished by the sanctity of their lives and the depth of their erudition, 
who were indeed the spiritual fathers of the clergy and the people.
That the other part of the Parliament consisted of an assembly called the 
House of Commons, who were all principal gentlemen, freely picked and culled 
out by the people themselves, for their great abilities and love of their 
country, to represent the wisdom of the whole nation. And these two bodies 
make up the most august assembly in Europe, to whom, in conjunction with the 
Prince, the whole legislature is committed.
I then descended to the courts of justice, over which the judges, those 
venerable sages and interpreters of the law, presided, for determining the 
disputed rights and properties of men, as well as for the punishment of vice 
and protection of innocence. I mentioned the prudent management of our 
Treasury, the valour and achievements of our forces by sea and land. I 
computed the number of our people by reckoning how many millions there might 
be of each religious sect or political party among us. I did not omit even our 
sports and pastimes, or any other particular which I thought might redound to 
the honour of my country. And I finished all with a brief historical account 
of affairs and events in England for about a hundred years past.
This conversation was not ended under five audiences, each of several hours, 
and the King heard the whole with great attention, frequently taking notes of 
what I spoke, as well as memorandums of all questions he intended to ask me.
When I had put an end to these long discourses, his Majesty, in a sixth 
audience, consulting his notes, proposed many doubts, queries, and objections 
upon every article. He asked what methods were used to cultivate the minds and 
bodies of our young nobility, and in what kind of business they commonly spent 
the first and teachable part of their lives. What course was taken to supply 
that assembly when any noble family became extinct. What qualifications were 
necessary in those who are to be created new lords: whether the humour of the 
Prince, a sum of money to a Court lady or a Prime Minister, or a design of 
strengthening a party opposite to the public interest, ever happened to be 
motives in those advancements. What share of knowledge these lords had in the 
laws of their country, and how they came by it, so as to enable them to decide 
the properties of their fellow subjects in the last resort. Whether they were 
always so free from avarice, partialities, or want that a bribe, or some other 
sinister view, could have no place among them. Whether those holy lords I 
spoke of were always promoted to that rank upon account of their knowledge in 
religious matters and the sanctity of their lives; had never been compliers 
with the times while they were common priests, or slavish prostitute chaplains 
to some nobleman, whose opinions they continued servilely to follow after they 
were admitted into that assembly.
He then desired to know what arts were practised in electing those whom I 
called commoners: whether a stranger with a strong purse might not influence 
the vulgar voters to choose him before their own landlord, or the most 
considerable gentleman in the neighbourhood. How it came to pass that people 
were so violently bent upon getting into this assembly, which I allowed to be 
a great trouble and expense, often to the ruin of their families, without any 
salary or pension, because this appeared such an exalted strain of virtue and 
public spirit that his Majesty seemed to doubt it might possibly not be always 
sincere; and he desired to know whether such zealous gentlemen could have any 
views of refunding themselves for the charges and trouble they were at by 
sacrificing the public good to the designs of a weak and vicious Prince in 
conjunction with a corrupted Ministry. He multiplied his questions, and sifted 
me thoroughly upon every part of this head, proposing numberless inquiries and 
objections, which I think it not prudent or convenient to repeat.
Upon what I said in relation to our courts of justice, his Majesty desired to 
be satisfied in several points; and this I was the better able to do, having 
been formerly almost ruined by a long suit in the Chancery, which was decreed 
for me with costs. He asked what time was usually spent in determining between 
right and wrong, and what degree of expense. Whether advocates and orators had 
liberty to plead in causes manifestly known to be unjust, vexatious, or 
oppressive. Whether party in religion or politics were observed to be of any 
weight in the scale of justice. Whether those pleading orators were persons 
educated in the general knowledge of equity, or only in provincial, national, 
and other local customs. Whether they or their judges had any part in penning 
those laws which they assumed the liberty of interpreting and glossing upon at 
their pleasure. Whether they had ever at different times pleaded for and 
against the same cause, and cited precedents to prove contrary opinions. 
Whether they were a rich or a poor corporation. Whether they received any 
pecuniary reward for pleading or delivering their opinions. And particularly 
whether they were ever admitted as members in the lower Senate.
He fell next upon the management of our Treasury, and said he thought my 
memory had failed me because I computed our taxes at about five or six 
millions a year, and when I came to mention the issues, he found they 
sometimes amounted to more than double; for the notes he had taken were very 
particular in this point, because he hoped, as he told me, that the knowledge 
of our conduct might be useful to him, and he could not be deceived in his 
calculations. But if what I told him were true, he was still at a loss how a 
kingdom could run out of its estate like a private person. He asked me who 
were our creditors, and where we should find money to pay them. He wondered to 
hear me talk of such chargeable and extensive wars; that certainly we must be 
a quarrelsome people, or live among very bad neighbours, and that our Generals 
must needs be richer than our Kings. He asked what business we had out of our 
own islands, unless upon the score of trade or treaty, or to defend the coasts 
with our fleet. Above all, he was amazed to hear me talk of a mercenary 
standing army in the midst of peace, and among a free people. He said, if we 
were governed by our own consent in the persons of our representatives, he 
could not imagine of whom we were afraid or against whom we were to fight, and 
would hear my opinion whether a private man's house might not better be 
defended by himself, his children, and family than by half a dozen rascals 
picked up at a venture in the streets for small wages, who might get a hundred 
times more by cutting their throats.
He laughed at my odd kind of arithmetic (as he was pleased to call it) in 
reckoning the numbers of our people by a computation drawn from the several 
sects among us in religion and politics. He said he knew no reason why those 
who entertain opinions prejudicial to the public, should be obliged to change 
or should not be obliged to conceal them. And as it was tyranny in any 
government to require the first, so it was weakness not to enforce the second; 
for a man may be allowed to keep poisons in his closet, but not to vend them 
about for cordials.
He observed that among the diversions of our nobility and gentry I had 
mentioned gaming. He desired to know at what age this entertainment was 
usually taken up, and when it was laid down; how much of their time it 
employed; whether it ever went so high as to affect their fortunes; whether 
mean, vicious people, by their dexterity in that art, might not arrive at 
great riches, and sometimes keep our very nobles in dependence, as well as 
habituate them to vile companions, wholly take them from the improvement of 
their minds, and force them, by the losses they have received, to learn and 
practise that infamous dexterity upon others.
He was perfectly astonished with the historical account I gave him of our 
affairs during the last century, protesting it was only a heap of 
conspiracies, rebellions, murders, massacres, revolutions, banishments, the 
very worst effects that avarice, faction, hypocrisy, perfidiousness, cruelty, 
rage, madness, hatred, envy, lust, malice, or ambition could produce.
His Majesty in another audience was at the pains to recapitulate the sum of 
all I had spoken, compared the questions he made with the answers I had given; 
then, taking me into his hands and stroking me gently, delivered himself in 
these words, which I shall never forget, nor the manner he spoke them in: My 
little friend Grildrig, you have made a most admirable panegyric upon your 
country; you have clearly proved that ignorance, idleness, and vice may be 
sometimes the only ingredients for qualifying a legislator; that laws are best 
explained, interpreted, and applied by those whose interest and abilities lie 
in perverting, confounding, and eluding them. I observe among you some lines 
of an institution which in its original might have been tolerable, but these 
half erased and the rest wholly blurred and blotted by corruptions. It does 
not appear from all you have said how any one virtue is required towards the 
procurement of any one station amongst you much less than men were ennobled on 
account of their virtue, that priests were advanced for their piety or 
learning, soldiers for their conduct or valour, judges for their integrity, 
senators for the love of their country, or counsellors for their wisdom. As 
for yourself (continued the King), who have spent the greatest part of your 
life in travelling, I am well disposed to hope you may hitherto have escaped 
many vices of your country. But by what I have gathered from your own 
relation, and the answers I have with much pain wringed and extorted from you, 
I cannot but conclude the bulk of your natives to be the most pernicious race 
of little odious vermin that Nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of 
the earth.


Chapter 15

The Author's love of his country. He makes a proposal of much advantage to the 
King, which is rejected. The King's great ignorance in politics. The learning 
of that country very imperfect and confined. Their laws and military affairs, 
and parties in the State.


Nothing but an extreme love of truth could have hindered me from concealing 
this part of my story. It was in vain to discover my resentments, which were 
always turned into ridicule, and I was forced to rest with patience while my 
noble and most beloved country was so injuriously treated. I am heartily sorry 
as any of my readers can possibly be that such an occasion was given; but this 
Prince happened to be so curious and inquisitive upon every particular that it 
could not consist either with gratitude or good manners to refuse giving him 
what satisfaction I was able. Yet thus much I may be allowed to say in my own 
vindication, that I artfully eluded many of his questions, and gave to every 
point a more favourable turn by many degrees than the strictness of truth 
would allow. For I have always borne that laudable partiality to my own 
country which Dionysius Halicarnassensis, with so much justice, recommends to 
an historian; I would hide the frailties and deformities of my political 
mother, and place her virtues and beauties in the most advantageous light. 
This was my sincere endeavour in those many discourses I had with that 
monarch, although it unfortunately failed of success.
But great allowances should be given to a King who lives wholly secluded from 
the rest of the world, and must therefore be altogether unacquainted with the 
manners and customs that most prevail in other nations, the want of which 
knowledge will ever produce many prejudices and a certain narrowness of 
thinking, from which we and the politer countries of Europe are wholly 
exempted. And it would be hard, indeed, if so remote a Prince's notions of 
virtue and vice were to be offered as a standard for all mankind.
To confirm what I have now said, and, further, to show the miserable effects 
of a confined education, I shall here insert a passage which will hardly 
obtain belief. In hopes to ingratiate myself farther into his Majesty's 
favour, I told him of an invention discovered between three and four hundred 
years ago, to make a certain powder, into a heap of which the smallest spark 
of fire falling would kindle the whole in a moment, although it were as big as 
a mountain, and make it all fly up in the air together, with a noise and 
agitation greater than thunder. That a proper quantity of this powder rammed 
into a hollow tube of brass or iron, according to its bigness, would drive a 
ball of iron or lead with such violence and speed as nothing was able to 
sustain its force. That the largest balls thus discharged, would not only 
destroy whole ranks of an army at once, but batter the strongest walls to the 
ground, sink down ships, with a thousand men in each, to the bottom of the 
sea, and, when linked together by a chain, would cut through masts and 
rigging, divide hundreds of bodies in the middle, and lay all waste before 
them. That we often put this powder into large hollow balls of iron, and 
discharged them by an engine into some city we were besieging, which would rip 
up the pavements, tear the houses to pieces, burst and throw splinters on 
every side, dashing out the brains of all who came near. That I knew the 
ingredients very well, which were cheap and common; I understood the manner of 
compounding them, and could direct his workmen how to make those tubes of a 
size proportionable to all other things in his Majesty's kingdom, and the 
largest need not be above a hundred feet long, twenty or thirty of which 
tubes, charged with the proper quantity of powder and balls, would batter down 
the walls of the strongest town in his dominions in a few hours, or destroy 
the whole Metropolis, if ever it should pretend to dispute his absolute 
commands. This I humbly offered to his Majesty as a small tribute of 
acknowledgment in return of so many marks that I had received of his royal 
favour and protection.
The King was struck with horror at the description I had given of those 
terrible engines and the proposal I had made. He was amazed how so impotent 
and grovelling an insect as I (these were his expressions) could entertain 
such inhuman ideas, and in so familiar a manner as to appear wholly unmoved at 
all the scenes of blood and desolation which I had painted as the common 
effects of those destructive machines, whereof, he said, some evil genius, 
enemy to mankind, must have been the first contriver. As for himself, he 
protested that, although few things delighted him so much as new discoveries 
in Art or in Nature, yet he would rather lose half his kingdom than be privy 
to such a secret, which he commanded me, as I valued my life, never to mention 
any more.
A strange effect of narrow principles and short views that a Prince possessed 
of every quality which procures veneration, love, and esteem -of strong parts, 
great wisdom, and profound learning, endued with admirable talents for 
Government, and almost adored by his subjects -should, from a nice unnecessary 
scruple, whereof in Europe we can have no conception, let slip an opportunity 
put into his hands that would have made him absolute master of the lives, the 
liberties, and the fortunes of his people. Neither do I say this with the 
least intention to detract from the many virtues of that excellent King, whose 
character, I am sensible, will on this account be very much lessened in the 
opinion of an English reader; but I take this defect among them to have risen 
from their ignorance, they not having hitherto reduced politics into a 
science, as the more acute wits of Europe have done, for I remember very well, 
in a discourse one day with the King, when I happened to say there were 
several thousand books among us written upon the art of government, it gave 
him (directly contrary to my intention) a very mean opinion of our 
understandings. He professed both to abominate and despise all mystery, 
refinement, and intrigue, either in a Prince or a Minister. He could not tell 
what I meant by secrets of State, where an enemy or some rival nation were not 
in the case. He confined the knowledge of governing within very narrow bounds, 
to commonsense and reason, to justice and lenity, to the speedy determination 
of civil and criminal causes, with some other obvious topics which are not 
worth considering. And he gave it for his opinion that whoever could make two 
ears of corn or two blades of grass to grow upon a spot of ground where only 
one grew before would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service 
to his country than the whole race of politicians put together.
The learning of this people is very defective, consisting only in morality, 
history, poetry, and mathematics, wherein they must be allowed to excel. But 
the last of these is wholly applied to what may be useful in life, to the 
improvement of agriculture and all mechanical arts; so that among us it would 
be little esteemed. And as to ideas, entities, abstractions, and 
transcendentals, I could never drive the least conception into their heads.
No law of that country must exceed in words the number of letters in their 
alphabet, which consists only in two-and-twenty. But, indeed, few of them 
extend even to that length. They are expressed in the most plain and simple 
terms, wherein those people are not mercurial enough to discover above one 
interpretation; and to write a comment upon any law is a capital crime. As to 
the decision of civil causes, or proceedings against criminals, their 
precedents are so few that they have little reason to boast of any 
extraordinary skill in either.
They have had the art of printing, as well as the Chinese, time out of mind. 
But their libraries are not very large; for that of the King's, which is 
reckoned the biggest, doth not amount to above a thousand volumes, placed in a 
gallery of twelve hundred feet long, from whence I had liberty to borrow what 
books I pleased. The Queen's joiner had contrived in one of Glumdalclitch's 
rooms a kind of wooden machine five-and-twenty feet high, formed like a 
standing ladder; the steps were each fifty feet long. It was, indeed, a 
movable pair of stairs, the lowest end placed at ten feet distance from the 
wall of the chamber. The book I had a mind to read was put up leaning against 
the wall. I first mounted to the upper step of the ladder, and, turning my 
face towards the book, began at the top of the page, and so walking to the 
right and left about eight or ten paces, according to the length of the lines, 
till I had gotten a little below the level of mine eyes, and then descending 
gradually till I came to the bottom. After which I mounted again, and began 
the other page in the same manner, and so turned over the leaf, which I could 
easily do with both my hands, for it was as thick and stiff as a pasteboard, 
and in the largest folios not above eighteen or twenty feet long.
Their style is clear, masculine, and smooth, but not florid, for they avoid 
nothing more than multiplying unnecessary words, or using various expressions. 
I have perused many of their books, especially those in history and morality. 
Among the rest, I was much diverted with a little old treatise, which always 
lay in Glumdalclitch's bedchamber, and belonged to her governess, a grave 
elderly gentlewoman, who dealt in writings of morality and devotion. The book 
treats of the weakness of human kind, and is in little esteem, except among 
the women and the vulgar. However, I was curious to see what an author of that 
country could say upon such a subject. This writer went through all the usual 
topics of European moralists, showing how diminutive, contemptible, and 
helpless an animal was man in his own nature; how unable to defend himself 
from inclemencies of the air or the fury of wild beasts. How much he was 
excelled by one creature in strength, by another in speed, by a third in 
foresight, by a fourth in industry. He added that Nature was degenerated in 
these latter, declining ages of the world, and could now produce only small 
abortive births in comparison of those in ancient times. He said it was very 
reasonable to think, not only that the species of man were originally much 
larger, but also that there must have been giants in former ages, which, as it 
is asserted by history and tradition, so it hath been confirmed by huge bones 
and skulls casually dug up in several parts of the kingdom, far exceeding the 
common dwindled race of man in our days. He argued that the very laws of 
Nature absolutely required we should have been made in the beginning of a size 
more large and robust, not so liable to destruction from every little accident 
of a tile falling from a house, or a stone cast from the hand of a boy, or of 
being drowned in a little brook. From this way of reasoning the author drew 
several moral applications useful in the conduct of life, but needless here to 
repeat. For my own part, I could not avoid reflecting how universally this 
talent was spread of drawing lectures in morality, or, indeed, rather matter 
of discontent and repining, from the quarrels we raise with Nature. And, I 
believe, upon a strict inquiry, those quarrels might be shown as ill-grounded 
among us as they are among that people.
As to their military affairs, they boast that the King's army consists of a 
hundred and seventy-six-thousand foot and thirty-two-thousand horse. If that 
may be called an army which is made up of tradesmen in the several cities, and 
farmers in the country, whose commanders are only the nobility and gentry, 
without pay or reward. They are, indeed, perfect enough in their exercises, 
and under very good discipline, wherein I saw no great merit; for how should 
it be otherwise where every farmer is under the command of his own landlord, 
and every citizen under that of the principal men in his own city, chosen 
after the manner of Venice by ballot?
I have often seen the militia of Lorbrulgrud drawn out to exercise in a great 
field near the city of twenty miles square. They were in all not above twenty-
five-thousand foot and six-thousand horse, but it was impossible for me to 
compute their number, considering the space of ground they took up. A cavalier 
mounted on a large steed might be about one hundred feet high. I have seen 
this whole body of horse, upon a word of command, draw their swords at once 
and brandish them in the air. Imagination can figure nothing so grand, so 
surprising, and so astonishing. It looked as if ten-thousand flashes of 
lightning were darting at the same time from every quarter of the sky.
I was curious to know how this Prince, to whose dominions there is no access 
from any other country, came to think of armies, or to teach his people the 
practice of military discipline. But I was soon informed, both by conversation 
and reading their histories. For, in the course of many ages, they have been 
troubled with the same disease to which so many other governments are subject, 
the nobility often contending for power, the people for liberty, and the King 
for absolute dominion. All which, however, happily tempered by the laws of the 
kingdom, have been sometimes violated by each of the three parties, and have 
once or more occasioned civil wars, the last whereof was happily put an end to 
by this Prince's grandfather by a general composition; and the militia, then 
settled with common consent, hath been ever since kept in the strictest duty.


Chapter 16

The King and Queen make a progress to the frontiers. The Author attends them. 
The manner in which he leaves the country very particularly related. He 
returns to England.


I had always a strong impulse that I should some time recover my liberty, 
though it was impossible to conjecture by what means, or to form any project 
with the least hope of succeeding. The ship in which I sailed was the first 
ever known to be driven within sight of that coast, and the King had given 
strict orders that if at any time another appeared it should be taken ashore, 
and, with all its crew and passengers, brought in a tumbril to Lorbrulgrud. He 
was strongly bent to get me a woman of my own size, by whom I might propagate 
the breed; but I think I should rather have died than undergone the disgrace 
of leaving a posterity to be kept in cages like tame canary birds, and perhaps 
in time sold about the kingdom to persons of quality for curiosities. I was, 
indeed, treated with much kindness; I was the favourite of a great King and 
Queen, and the delight of the whole Court, but it was upon such a foot as ill 
became the dignity of human kind. I could never forget those domestic pledges 
I had left behind me. I wanted to be among people with whom I could converse 
upon even terms, and walk about the streets and fields without fear of being 
trodden to death like a frog or a young puppy. But my deliverance came sooner 
than I expected, and in a manner not very common, the whole story and 
circumstances of which I shall faithfully relate.
I had now been two years in this country; and about the beginning of the 
third, Glumdalclitch and I attended the King and Queen in a progress to the 
south coast of the kingdom. I was carried, as usual, in my travelling-box, 
which, as I have already described, was a very convenient closet of twelve 
feet wide. And I had ordered a hammock to be fixed by silken ropes, from the 
four corners at the top, to break the jolts, when a servant carried me before 
him on horseback, as I sometimes desired, and would often sleep in my hammock 
while we were upon the road. On the roof of my closet, not directly over the 
middle of the hammock, I ordered the joiner to cut out a hole of a foot square 
to give me air in hot weather, as I slept, which hole I shut at pleasure, with 
a board that drew backwards and forwards through a groove.
When we came to our journey's end, the King thought proper to pass a few days 
at a palace he hath near Flanflasnic, a city within eighteen English miles of 
the seaside. Glumdalclitch and I were much fatigued; I had gotten a small 
cold, but the poor girl was so ill as to be confined to her chamber. I longed 
to see the ocean, which must be the only scene of my escape, if ever it should 
happen. I pretended to be worse than I really was, and desired leave to take 
the fresh air of the sea, with a page whom I was very fond of, and who had 
sometimes been trusted with me. I shall never forget with what unwillingness 
Glumdalclitch consented, nor the strict charge she gave the page to be careful 
of me, bursting at the same time into a flood of tears, as if she had some 
foreboding of what was to happen. The boy took me out in my box about half an 
hour's walk from the palace towards the rocks on the seashore. I ordered him 
to set me down, and, lifting up one of my sashes, cast many a wistful, 
melancholy look towards the sea. I found myself not very well, and told the 
page that I had a mind to take a nap in my hammock, which I hoped would do me 
good. I got in, and the boy shut the window close down to keep out the cold. I 
soon fell asleep, and all I can conjecture is that while I slept, the page 
thinking no danger could happen, went among the rocks to look for bird's eggs, 
having before observed him from my window searching about, and picking up one 
or two in the clefts. Be that as it will, I found myself suddenly awakened 
with a violent pull upon the ring which was fastened at the top of my box for 
the convenience of carriage. I felt my box raised very high in the air, and 
then borne forward with prodigious speed. The first jolt had like to have 
shaken me out of my hammock, but afterwards the motion was easy enough. I 
called out several times as loud as I could raise my voice, but all to no 
purpose. I looked towards my windows, and could see nothing but the clouds and 
sky. I heard a noise just over my head like the clapping of wings, and then 
began to perceive the woeful condition I was in, that some eagle had got the 
ring of my box in his beak, with an intent to let it fall on a rock like a 
tortoise in a shell, and then pick out my body and devour it. For the sagacity 
and smell of this bird enabled him to discover his quarry at a great distance, 
though better concealed than I could be within a two-inch board.
In a little time I observed the noise and flutter of wings to increase very 
fast, and my box was tossed up and down like a signpost on a windy day. I 
heard several bangs or buffets, as I thought, given to the eagle (for such I 
am certain it must have been that held the ring of my box in his beak), and 
then all on a sudden felt myself falling perpendicularly down for above a 
minute, but with such incredible swiftness that I almost lost my breath. My 
fall was stopped by a terrible squash, that sounded louder to my ears than the 
cataract of Niagara, after which I was quite in the dark for another minute, 
and then my box began to rise so high that I could see light from the tops of 
my windows. I now perceived that I was fallen into the sea. My box, by the 
weight of my body, the goods that were in, and the broad plates of iron fixed 
for strength at the four corners of the top and bottom, floated about five 
feet deep in water. I did then, and do now, suppose that the eagle which flew 
away with my box was pursued by two or three others, and forced to let me drop 
while he was defending himself against the rest, who hoped to share in the 
prey. The plates of iron fastened at the bottom of the box (for those were the 
strongest) preserved the balance while it fell, and hindered it from being 
broken on the surface of the water. Every joint of it was well grooved; and 
the door did not move on hinges, but up and down like a sash, which kept my 
closet so tight that very little water came in. I got with much difficulty out 
of my hammock, having first ventured to draw back the slip-board on the roof 
already mentioned, contrived on purpose to let in air, for want of which I 
found myself almost stifled.
How often did I then wish myself with my dear Glumdalclitch, from whom one 
single hour had so far divided me! And I may say with truth that in the midst 
of my own misfortunes I could not forbear lamenting my poor nurse -the grief 
she would suffer for my loss, the displeasure of the Queen, and the ruin of 
her fortune. Perhaps many travellers have not been under greater difficulties 
and distress than I was at this juncture, expecting every moment to see my box 
dashed in pieces, or at least overset by the first violent blast or a rising 
wave. A breach in one single pane of glass would have been immediate death, 
nor could anything have preserved the windows but the strong lattice-wires 
placed on the outside against accidents in travelling. I saw the water ooze in 
at several crannies, although the leaks were not considerable, and I 
endeavoured to stop them as well as I could. I was not able to lift up the 
roof of my closet, which otherwise I certainly should have done, and sat on 
the top of it, where I might, at least, preserve myself some hours longer than 
by being shut up, as I may call it, in the hold. Or if I escaped these dangers 
for a day or two, what could I expect but a miserable death of cold and 
hunger! I was four hours under these circumstances, expecting, and indeed 
wishing, every moment to be my last.
I have already told the reader that there were two strong staples fixed upon 
that side of my box which had no window, and into which the servant who used 
to carry me on horseback would put a leathern belt, and buckle it about his 
waist. Being in this disconsolate state, I heard, or at least thought I heard, 
some kind of grating noise on that side of my box where the staples were 
fixed, and soon after I began to fancy that the box was pulled or towed along 
in the sea; for I now and then felt a sort of tugging, which made the waves 
rise near the tops of my windows, leaving me almost in the dark. This gave me 
some faint hope of relief, although I was not able to imagine how it could be 
brought about. I ventured to unscrew one of my chairs, which were always 
fastened to the floor, and having made a hard shift to screw it down again 
directly under the slipping-board that I had lately opened, I mounted on the 
chair, and, putting my mouth as near as I could to the hole, I called for help 
in a loud voice, and in all the languages I understood. I then fastened my 
handkerchief to a stick I usually carried, and, thrusting it up the hole, 
waved it several times in the air, that if any boat or ship were near the 
seamen might conjecture some unhappy mortal to be shut up in this box.
I found no effect from all I could do, but plainly perceived my closet to be 
moved along, and in the space of an hour, or better, that side of the box 
where the staples were, and had no window, struck against something that was 
hard. I apprehended it to be a rock, and found myself tossed more than ever. I 
plainly heard a noise upon the cover of my closet, like that of a cable, and 
the grating of it as it passed through the ring. I then found myself hoisted 
up by degrees at least three feet higher than I was before. Whereupon I again 
thrust up my stick and handkerchief, calling for help till I was almost 
hoarse. In return to which, I heard a great shout repeated three times, giving 
me such transports of joy as are not to be conceived but by those who feel 
them. I now heard a trampling over my head, and somebody calling through the 
hole with a loud voice in the English tongue, If there be anybody below, let 
them speak. I answered I was an Englishman, drawn by ill-fortune into the 
greatest calamity that ever any creature underwent, and begged by all that was 
moving to be delivered out of the dungeon I was in. The voice replied I was 
safe, for my box was fastened to their ship, and the carpenter should 
immediately come and saw a hole in the cover large enough to pull me out. I 
answered that was needless, and would take up too much time, for there was no 
more to be done, but let one of the crew put his finger into the ring and take 
the box out of the sea into the ship, and so into the captain's cabin. Some of 
them, upon hearing me talk so wildly, thought I was mad; others laughed, for 
indeed it never came into my head that I was now got among people of my own 
stature and strength. The carpenter came, and in a few minutes sawed a passage 
about four feet square, then let down a small ladder, upon which I mounted, 
and from thence was taken into the ship in a very weak condition.
The sailors were all in amazement, and asked me a thousand questions, which I 
had no inclination to answer. I was equally confounded at the sight of so many 
pigmies, for such I took them to be, after having so long accustomed mine eyes 
to the monstrous objects I had left. But the captain, Mr. Thomas Wilcocks, an 
honest, worthy Shropshire man, observing I was ready to faint, took me into 
his cabin, gave me a cordial to comfort me, and made me turn in upon his own 
bed, advising me to take a little rest, of which I had great need. Before I 
went to sleep I gave him to understand that I had some valuable furniture in 
my box too good to be lost: a fine hammock, a handsome field-bed, two chairs, 
a table, and a cabinet. That my closet was hung on all sides, or rather 
quilted with silk and cotton; that if he would let one of the crew bring my 
closet into his cabin, I would open it there before him, and show him my 
goods. The captain, hearing me utter these absurdities, concluded I was 
raving; however (I suppose to pacify me), he promised to give order as I 
desired, and, going upon deck, sent some of his men down into my closet, from 
whence (as I afterwards found) they drew up all my goods and stripped off the 
quilting; but the chairs, cabinet, and bedstead, being screwed to the floor, 
were much damaged by the ignorance of the seamen, who tore them up by force. 
Then they knocked off some of the boards for the use of the ship, and when 
they had got all they had a mind for, let the hulk drop into the sea, which by 
reason of many breaches made in the bottom and sides, sunk to rights. And, 
indeed, I was glad not to have been a spectator of the havoc they made, 
because I am confident it would have sensibly touched me, by bringing former 
passages into my mind which I had rather forget.
I slept some hours, but perpetually disturbed with dreams of the place I had 
left and the dangers I had escaped. However, upon waking I found myself much 
recovered. It was now about eight o'clock at night, and the captain ordered 
supper immediately, thinking I had already fasted too long. He entertained me 
with great kindness, observing me not to look wildly or talk inconsistently, 
and when we were left alone, desired I would give him a relation of my 
travels, and by what accident I came to be set adrift in that monstrous wooden 
chest. He said that about twelve o'clock at noon, as he was looking through 
his glass, he spied it at a distance, and thought it was a sail, which he had 
a mind to make, being not much out of his course, in hopes of buying some 
biscuit, his own beginning to fall short. That upon coming nearer and finding 
his error, he sent out his longboat to discover what I was; that his men came 
back in a fright, swearing they had seen a swimming house. That he laughed at 
their folly, and went himself in the boat, ordering his men to take a strong 
cable along with them. That the weather being calm, he rowed round me several 
times, observed my windows and the wire lattices that defended them. That he 
discovered two staples upon one side, which was all of boards, without any 
passage for light. He then commanded his men to row up to that side, and, 
fastening a cable to one of the staples, ordered them to tow my chest (as they 
called it) towards the ship. When it was there, he gave directions to fasten 
another cable to the ring fixed in the cover, and to raise up my chest with 
pullies, which all the sailors were not able to do above two or three feet. He 
said they saw my stick and handkerchief thrust out of the hole, and concluded 
that some unhappy men must be shut up in the cavity. I asked whether he or the 
crew had seen any prodigious birds in the air about the time he first 
discovered me. To which he answered that, discoursing this matter with the 
sailors while I was asleep, one of them said he had observed three eagles 
flying towards the north, but remarked nothing of their being larger than the 
usual size, which, I suppose, must be imputed to the great height they were 
at, and he could not guess the reason of my question. I then asked the captain 
how far he reckoned we might be from land; he said, by the best computation he 
could make, we were at least a hundred leagues. I assured him that he must be 
mistaken by almost half, for I had not left the country from whence I came 
above two hours before I dropped into the sea. Whereupon he began again to 
think that my brain was disturbed, of which he gave me a hint, and advised me 
to go to bed in a cabin he had provided. I assured him I was well refreshed 
with his good entertainment and company, and as much in my senses as ever I 
was in my life. He then grew serious, and desired to ask me freely whether I 
was not troubled in mind by the consciousness of some enormous crime, for 
which I was punished at the command of some Prince by exposing me in that 
chest, as great criminals in other countries have been forced to sea in a 
leaky vessel without provisions, for although he should be sorry to have taken 
so ill a man into his ship, yet he would engage his word to set me safe on 
shore in the first port where we arrived. He added that his suspicions were 
much increased by some very absurd speeches I had delivered at first to the 
sailors, and afterwards to himself, in relation to my closet or chest, as well 
as by my odd looks and behaviour while I was at supper.
I begged his patience to hear me tell my story, which I faithfully did from 
the last time I left England to the moment he first discovered me. And as 
truth always forces its way into rational minds, so this honest, worthy 
gentleman, who had some tincture of learning and very good sense, was 
immediately convinced of my candour and veracity. But further to confirm all I 
had said, I entreated him to give order that my cabinet should be brought, of 
which I had the key in my pocket (for he had already informed me how the 
seamen disposed of my closet). I opened it in his own presence, and showed him 
the small collection of rarities I made in the country from whence I had been 
so strangely delivered. There was the comb I had contrived out of the stumps 
of the King's beard, and another of the same materials, but fixed into a 
paring of her Majesty's thumb-nail, which served for the back. There was a 
collection of needles and pins from a foot to half a yard long; four wasp 
stings, like joiner's tacks; some combings of the Queen's hair; a gold ring 
which one day she made me a present of in a most obliging manner, taking it 
from her little finger and throwing it over my head like a collar. I desired 
the captain would please to accept this ring, in return of his civilities, 
which he absolutely refused. I showed him a corn that I had cut off with my 
own hand from a maid of honour's toe; it was about the bigness of a Kentish 
pippin, and grown so hard that when I returned to England I got it hollowed 
into a cup and set in silver. Lastly, I desired him to see the breeches I had 
then on, which were made of a mouse's skin.
I could force nothing on him but a footman's tooth, which I observed him to 
examine with great curiosity, and found he had a fancy for it. He received it 
with abundance of thanks, more than such a trifle could deserve. It was drawn 
by an unskilful surgeon in a mistake from one of Glumdalclitch's men, who was 
afflicted with the toothache, but it was as sound as any in his head. I got it 
cleaned and put it into my cabinet. It was about a foot long and four inches 
in diameter.
The captain was very well satisfied with this plain relation I had given him, 
and said he hoped, when we returned to England, I would oblige the world by 
putting it on paper, and making it public. My answer was that I thought we 
were already overstocked with books of travels. That nothing could now pass 
which was not extraordinary, wherein I doubted some authors less consulted 
truth than their own vanity or interest or the diversion of ignorant readers. 
That my story could contain little besides common events, without these 
ornamental descriptions of strange plants, trees, birds, and other animals, or 
of the barbarous customs and idolatry of savage people, with which most 
writers abound. However, I thanked him for his good opinion, and promised to 
take the matter into my thoughts.
He said he wondered at one thing very much, which was to hear me speak so 
loud, asking me whether the King or Queen of that country were thick of 
hearing. I told him it was what I had been used to for above two years past, 
and that I admired as much at the voices of him and his men, who seemed to me 
only to whisper, and yet I could hear them well enough. But when I spoke in 
that country it was like a man talking in the street to another looking out 
from the top of a steeple, unless when I was placed on a table or held in any 
person's hand. I told him I had likewise observed another thing, that when I 
first got into the ship, and the sailors stood all about me, I thought they 
were the most little contemptible creatures I had ever beheld. For, indeed, 
while I was in that Prince's country I could never endure to look in a glass 
after mine eyes had been accustomed to such prodigious objects, because the 
comparison gave me so despicable a conceit of myself. The captain said that 
while we were at supper he observed me to look at everything with a sort of 
wonder, and that I often seemed hardly able to contain my laughter, which he 
knew not well how to take, but imputed it to some disorder in my brain. I 
answered it was very true; and I wondered how I could forbear, when I saw his 
dishes of the size of a silver threepence, a leg of port hardly a mouthful, a 
cup not so big as a nutshell; and so I went on, describing the rest of his 
household stuff and provisions after the same manner. For although the Queen 
had ordered a little equipage of all things necessary while I was in her 
service, yet my ideas were wholly taken up with what I saw on every side of 
me, and I winked at my own littleness as people do at their own faults. The 
captain understood my raillery very well, and merrily replied with the old 
English proverb, that he doubted mine eyes were bigger than my belly, for he 
did not observe my stomach so good, although I had fasted all day; and, 
continuing in his mirth, protested he would have gladly given a hundred pounds 
to have seen my closet in the eagle's bill, and afterwards in its fall from so 
great a height into the sea; which would certainly have been a most 
astonishing object, worthy to have the description of it transmitted to future 
ages. And the comparison of Phaeton was so obvious that he could not forbear 
applying it, although I did not much admire the conceit.
The captain having been at Tonquin, was, on his return to England, driven 
north-eastward to the latitude of 44 degrees and of longitude 143. But, 
meeting a trade-wind two days after I came on board him, we sailed southward a 
long time, and, coasting New Holland, kept our course west-south-west, and 
then south-south-west till we doubled the Cape of Good Hope. Our voyage was 
very prosperous, but I shall not trouble the reader with a journal of it. The 
captain called in at one or two ports, and sent in his longboat for provisions 
and fresh water, but I never went out of the ship till we came into the Downs, 
which was on the 3rd day of June, 1706, about nine months after my escape. I 
offered to leave my goods in security for payment of my freight, but the 
captain protested he would not receive one farthing. We took kind leave of 
each other, and I made him promise he would come to see me at my house in 
Redriff. I hired a horse and guide for five shillings, which I borrowed of the 
captain.
As I was on the road, observing the littleness of the houses, the trees, the 
cattle, and the people, I began to think myself in Lilliput. I was afraid of 
trampling on every traveller I met, and often called aloud to have them stand 
out of the way, so that I had like to have gotten one or two broken heads for 
my impertinence.
When I came to my own house, for which I was forced to inquire, one of the 
servants opening the door, I bent down to go in (like a goose under a gate), 
for fear of striking my head. My wife ran out to embrace me, but I stooped 
lower than her knees, thinking she could otherwise never be able to reach my 
mouth. My daughter kneeled to ask my blessing, but I could not see her till 
she arose, having been so long used to stand with my head and eyes erect to 
above sixty feet; and then I went to take her up with one hand by the waist. I 
looked down upon the servants and one or two friends who were in the house as 
if they had been pigmies and I a giant. I told my wife she had been too 
thrifty, for I found she had starved herself and her daughter to nothing. In 
short, I behaved myself so unaccountably that they were all of the captain's 
opinion when he first saw me, and concluded I had lost my wits. This I mention 
as an instance of the great power of habit and prejudice.
In a little time I and my family and friends came to a right understanding. 
But my wife protested I should never go to sea any more, although my evil 
destiny so ordered that she had not the power to hinder me, as the reader may 
know hereafter. In the meantime, I here conclude the second part of my 
unfortunate voyages.


PART 3


A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNIBARBI, GLUBBDUBDRIB, LUGGNAGG, AND JAPAN



Chapter 17

The Author sets out on his third voyage; Is taken by pirates. The malice of a 
Dutchman. His arrival at an island. He is received into Laputa.


I had not been at home above ten days when Captain William Robinson, a 
Cornishman, commander of the Hopewell, a stout ship of three hundred tons, 
came to my house. I had formerly been surgeon of another ship where he was 
master and a fourth part owner in a voyage to the Levant; he had always 
treated me more like a brother than an inferior officer, and, hearing of my 
arrival, made me a visit, as I apprehended only out of friendship, for nothing 
passed more than what is usual after long absences. But repeating his visits 
often, expressing his joy to find me in good health, asking whether I were now 
settled for life, adding that he intended a voyage to the East Indies in two 
months, at last he plainly invited me, though with some apologies, to be 
surgeon of the ship; that I should have another surgeon under me besides our 
two mates; that my salary should be double to the usual pay; and that, having 
experienced my knowledge in sea affairs to be at least equal to his, he would 
enter into any engagement to follow my advice, as much as if I had share in 
the command.
He said so many other obliging things, and I knew him to be so honest a man, 
that I could not reject his proposal; the thirst I had of seeing the world, 
notwithstanding my past misfortunes, continuing as violent as ever. The only 
difficulty that remained was to persuade my wife, whose consent, however, I at 
last obtained by the prospect of advantage she proposed to her children.
We set out the 5th day of August, 1706, and arrived at Fort St. George the 
11th of April, 1707; stayed there three weeks to refresh our crew, many of 
whom were sick. From thence we went to Tonquin, where the captain resolved to 
continue some time, because many of the goods he intended to buy were not 
ready, nor could he expect to be despatched in some months. Therefore, in 
hopes to defray some of the charges he must be at, he bought a sloop, loaded 
it with several sorts of goods, wherewith the Tonquinese usually trade to the 
neighbouring islands, and putting fourteen men on board, whereof three were of 
the country, he appointed me master of the sloop, and gave me power to traffic 
for two months, while he transacted his affairs at Tonquin.
We had not sailed above three days when, a great storm arising, we were driven 
five days to the north-north-east, and then to the east, after which we had 
fair weather, but still with a pretty strong gale from the west. Upon the 
tenth day we were chased by two pirates, who soon overtook us; for my sloop 
was so deep laden that she sailed very slow, neither were we in a condition to 
defend ourselves.
We were boarded about the same time by both the pirates, who entered furiously 
at the head of their men, but finding us all prostrate upon our faces (for so 
I gave order), they pinioned us with strong ropes, and, setting a guard upon 
us, went to search the sloop.
I observed among them a Dutchman, who seemed to be of some authority, though 
he was not commander of either ship. He knew us by our countenances to be 
Englishmen, and, jabbering to us in his own language, swore we should be tied 
back to back and thrown into the sea. I spoke Dutch tolerably well; I told him 
who we were, and begged him, in consideration of our being Christians and 
Protestants of neighbouring countries in strict alliance, that he would move 
the captains to take some pity on us. This inflamed his rage; he repeated his 
threatenings, and, turning to his companions, spoke with great vehemence in 
the Japanese language, as I suppose, often using the word Christianos.
The largest of the two pirate ships was commanded by a Japanese captain, who 
spoke a little Dutch, but very imperfectly. He came up to me, and after 
several questions, which I answered in great humility, he said we should not 
die. I made the captain a very low bow, and then, turning to the Dutchman, 
said I was sorry to find more mercy in a heathen than in a brother Christian. 
But I had soon reason to repent those foolish words, for that malicious 
reprobate, having often endeavoured in vain to persuade both the captains that 
I might be thrown into the sea (which they would not yield to after the 
promise made me that I should not die), however, prevailed so far as to have a 
punishment inflicted on me worse in all human appearance than death itself. My 
men were sent by an equal division into both the pirate ships, and my sloop 
new manned. As to myself, it was determined that I should be set adrift in a 
small canoe, with paddles and a sail, and four days' provisions, which last 
the Japanese captain was so kind to double out of his own stores, and would 
permit no man to search me. I got down into the canoe, while the Dutchman, 
standing upon the deck, loaded me with all the curses and injurious terms his 
language could afford.
About an hour before we saw the pirates I had taken an observation, and found 
we were in the latitude of 46 N. and of longitude 183. When I was at some 
distance from the pirates I discovered by my pocket-glass several islands to 
the south-east. I set up my sail, the wind being fair, with a design to reach 
the nearest of those islands, which I made a shift to do in about three hours. 
It was all rocky: however, I got many birds' eggs, and striking fire I kindled 
some heath and dry seaweed, by which I roasted my eggs. I ate no other supper, 
being resolved to spare my provisions as much as I could. I passed the night 
under the shelter of a rock, strewing some heath under me, and slept pretty 
well.
The next day I sailed to another island, and thence to a third and fourth, 
sometimes using my sail and sometimes my paddles. But not to trouble the 
reader with a particular account of my distresses, let it suffice that on the 
fifth day I arrived at the last island in my sight, which lay south-south-east 
to the former.
This island was at a greater distance than I expected, and I did not reach it 
in less than five hours. I encompassed it almost round before I could find a 
convenient place to land in, which was a small creek about three times the 
wideness of my canoe. I found the island to be all rocky, only a little 
intermingled with tufts of grass and sweet-smelling herbs. I took out my small 
provisions, and after having refreshed myself, I secured the remainder in a 
cave, whereof there were great numbers. I gathered plenty of eggs upon the 
rocks, and got a quantity of dry seaweed and parched grass which I designed to 
kindle the next day, and roast my eggs as well as I could (for I had about me 
my flint, steel, match, and burning-glass). I lay all night in the cave where 
I had lodged my provisions. My bed was the same dry grass and seaweed which I 
intended for fuel. I slept very little, for the disquiets of my mind prevailed 
over my weariness, and kept me awake. I considered how impossible it was to 
preserve my life in so desolate a place, and how miserable my end must be. Yet 
I found myself so listless and desponding, that I had not the heart to rise, 
and before I could get spirits enough to creep out of my cave the day was far 
advanced. I walked awhile among the rocks; the sky was perfectly clear, and 
the sun so hot that I was forced to turn my face from it; when all on a sudden 
it became obscured, as I thought, in a manner very different from what happens 
by the interposition of a cloud. I turned back, and perceived a vast opaque 
body between me and the sun, moving forwards towards the island; it seemed to 
be about two miles high, and hid the sun six or seven minutes; but I did not 
observe the air to be much colder, or the sky more darkened than if I had 
stood under the shade of a mountain. As it approached nearer over the place 
where I was, it appeared to be a firm substance, the bottom flat, smooth, and 
shining very bright, from the reflection of the sea below. I stood upon a 
height about two hundred yards from the shore, and saw this vast body 
descending almost to a parallel with me, at less than an English mile 
distance. I took out my pocket-perspective, and could plainly discover numbers 
of people moving up and down the sides of it, which appeared to be sloping, 
but what those people were doing I was not able to distinguish.
The natural love of life gave me some inward motions of joy, and I was ready 
to entertain a hope that this adventure might some way or other help to 
deliver me from the desolate place and condition I was in. But at the same 
time the reader can hardly conceive my astonishment to behold an island in the 
air inhabited by men, who were able (as it should seem) to raise, or sink, or 
put it into a progressive motion, as they pleased. But not being at that time 
in a disposition to philosophise upon this phenomenon, I rather chose to 
observe what course the island would take, because it seemed for a while to 
stand still. Yet soon after it advanced nearer, and I could see the sides of 
it encompassed with several gradations of galleries and stairs at certain 
intervals, to descend from one to the other. In the lowest gallery I beheld 
some people fishing with long angling rods, and others looking on. I waved my 
cap (for my hat was long since worn out) and my handkerchief towards the 
island, and, upon its nearer approach, I called and shouted with the utmost 
strength of my voice, and then, looking circumspectly, I beheld a crowd 
gathered to that side which was most in my view. I found by their pointing 
towards me and to each other that they plainly discovered me, although they 
made no return to my shouting. But I could see four or five men running in 
great haste up the stairs to the top of the island, who then disappeared. I 
happened rightly to conjecture that these were sent for orders to some person 
in authority upon this occasion.
The number of people increased, and in less than half an hour the island was 
moved and raised in such a manner that the lowest gallery appeared in a 
parallel of less than a hundred yards distance from the height where I stood. 
I then put myself into the most supplicating postures and spoke in the 
humblest accent, but received no answer. Those who stood nearest over against 
me seemed to be persons of distinction, as I supposed by their habit. They 
conferred earnestly with each other, looking often upon me. At length one of 
them called out in a clear, polite, smooth dialect, not unlike in sound to the 
Italian, and therefore I returned an answer in that language, hoping at least 
that the cadence might be more agreeable to his ears. Although neither of us 
understood the other, yet my meaning was easily known, for the people saw the 
distress I was in.
They made signs for me to come down from the rock and go towards the shore, 
which I accordingly did; and the flying island being raised to a convenient 
height, the verge directly over me, a chain was let down from the lowest 
gallery, with a seat fastened to the bottom, to which I fixed myself, and was 
drawn up by pullies.


Chapter 18

The humours and dispositions of the Laputians described. An account of their 
learning. Of the King and his Court. The Author's reception there. The 
inhabitants subject to fears and disquietudes. An account of the women.


At my alighting I was surrounded by a crowd of people, but those who stood 
nearest seemed to be of better quality. They beheld me with all the marks and 
circumstances of wonder; neither, indeed, was I much in their debt, having 
never till then seen a race of mortals so singular in their shapes, habits, 
and countenances. Their heads were all reclined either to the right or the 
left; one of their eyes turned inward, and the other directly up to the 
zenith. Their outward garments were adorned with the figures of suns, moons, 
and stars, interwoven with those of fiddles, flutes, harps, trumpets, guitars, 
harpsichords, and many more instruments of music unknown to us in Europe. I 
observed here and there many in the habit of servants, with a blown bladder 
fastened like a flail to the end of a short stick, which they carried in their 
hands. In each bladder was a small quantity of dried peas or little pebbles 
(as I was afterwards informed). With these bladders they now and then flapped 
the mouths and ears of those who stood near them, of which practice I could 
not then conceive the meaning. It seems the minds of those people are so taken 
up with intense speculations that they neither can speak nor attend to the 
discourses of others without being roused by some external taction upon the 
organs of speech and hearing, for which reason those persons who are able to 
afford it always keep a flapper (the original is climenole) in their family, 
as one of their domestics, nor ever walk abroad or make visits without him. 
And the business of this officer is, when two or more persons are in company, 
gently to strike with his bladder the mouth of him who is to speak, and the 
right ear of him or them to whom the speaker addresses himself. This flapper 
is likewise employed diligently to attend his master in his walks, and upon 
occasion to give him a soft flap on his eyes, because he is always so wrapped 
up in cogitation that he is in manifest danger of falling down every 
precipice, and bouncing his head against every post, and in the streets of 
jostling others, or being jostled himself into the kennel.
It was necessary to give the reader this information, without which he would 
be at the same loss with me to understand the proceedings of these people as 
they conducted me up the stairs to the top of the island, and from thence to 
the royal palace. While we were ascending they forgot several times what they 
were about and left me to myself, till their memories were again roused by 
their flappers; for they appeared altogether unmoved by the sight of my 
foreign habit and countenance, and by the shouts of the vulgar, whose thoughts 
and minds were more disengaged.
At last we entered the palace, and proceeded into the chamber of presence, 
where I saw the King seated on his throne, attended on each side by persons of 
prime quality. Before the throne was a large table filled with globes and 
spheres and mathematical instruments of all kinds. His Majesty took not the 
least notice of us, although our entrance was not without sufficient noise by 
the concourse of all persons belonging to the Court. But he was then deep in a 
problem, and we attended at least an hour before he could solve it. There 
stood by him on each side a young page with flaps in their hands, and when 
they saw he was at leisure, one of them gently struck his mouth and the other 
his right ear, at which he started like one awakened on the sudden, and, 
looking towards me and the company I was in, recollected the occasion of our 
coming, whereof he had been informed before. He spoke some words, whereupon 
immediately a young man with a flap came up to my side and flapped me gently 
on the right ear, but I made signs, as well as I could, that I had no occasion 
for such an instrument, which, as I afterwards found, gave his Majesty and the 
whole Court a very mean opinion of my understanding. The King, as far as I 
could conjecture, asked me several questions, and I addressed myself to him in 
all the languages I had. When it was found that I could neither understand nor 
be understood, I was conducted, by the King's order, to an apartment in his 
palace (this Prince being distinguished above all his predecessors for his 
hospitality to strangers), where two servants were appointed to attend me. My 
dinner was brought, and four persons of quality, whom I remembered to have 
seen very near the King's person, did me the honour to dine with me. We had 
two courses of three dishes each. In the first course there was a shoulder of 
mutton, cut into an equilateral triangle, a piece of beef into a rhomboid, and 
a pudding into a cycloid. The second course was two ducks, trussed up into the 
form of fiddles, sausages and puddings resembling flutes and hautboys, and a 
breast of veal in the shape of a harp. The servants cut our bread into cones, 
cylinders, parallelograms, and several other mathematical figures.
While we were at dinner I made bold to ask the names of several things in 
their language, and those noble persons, by the assistance of their flappers, 
delighted to give me answers, hoping to raise my admiration of their great 
abilities, if I could be brought to converse with them. I was soon able to 
call for bread and drink, or whatever else I wanted.
After dinner my company withdrew, and a person was sent to me by the King's 
order, attended by a flapper. He brought with him pen, ink, and paper, and 
three or four books, giving me to understand by signs that he was sent to 
teach me the language. We sat together four hours, in which time I wrote down 
a great number of words in columns, with the translations over against them. I 
likewise made a shift to learn several short sentences. For my tutor would 
order one of my servants to fetch something, or turn about, to make a bow, to 
sit, or stand, or walk, and the like. Then I took down the sentence in 
writing. He showed me also in one of his books the figures of the sun, moon, 
and stars, the zodiac, the tropics, and polar circles, together with the 
denominations of many figures of planes and solids. He gave me the names and 
descriptions of all the musical instruments, and the general terms of art in 
playing on each of them. After he had left me, I placed all my words with 
their interpretations in alphabetical order. And thus in a few days, by the 
help of a very faithful memory, I got some insight into their language.
The word, which I interpret the Flying or Floating Island, is in the original 
Laputa, whereof I could never learn the true etymology. "Lap" in the old 
obsolete language signifies high, and `untuh' a governor, from which, they 
say, by corruption, was derived Laputa from Lapuntuh." But I do not approve of 
this derivation, which seems to be a little strained. I ventured to offer to 
the learned among them a conjecture of my own that Laputa was quasi lap outed, 
`lap' signifying properly the dancing of the sunbeams in the sea, and "outed" 
a wing, which, however, I shall not obtrude, but submit to the judicious reader.
Those to whom the King had entrusted me, observing how ill I was clad, ordered 
a tailor to come next morning and take my measure for a suit of clothes. This 
operator did his office after a different manner from those of his trade in 
Europe. He first took my altitude by a quadrant, and then with a rule and 
compasses described the dimensions and outlines of my whole body, all which he 
entered upon paper, and in six days brought my clothes very ill made and quite 
out of shape, by happening to mistake a figure in the calculation. But my 
comfort was that I observed such accidents very frequent and little regarded.
During my confinement for want of clothes, and by an indisposition that held 
me some days longer, I much enlarged my dictionary, and when I went next to 
Court was able to understand many things the King spoke, and to return him 
some kind of answers. His Majesty had given orders that the island should move 
north-east and by east to the vertical point over Lagado, the metropolis of 
the whole kingdom below upon the firm earth. It was about ninety leagues 
distant, and our voyage lasted four days and a half. I was not in the least 
sensible of the progressive motion made in the air by the island. On the 
second morning, about eleven o'clock, the King himself in person, attended by 
his nobility, courtiers, and officers, having prepared all their musical 
instruments, played on them for three hours without intermission, so that I 
was quite stunned with the noise, neither could I possibly guess the meaning 
till my tutor informed me. He said that the people of their island had their 
ears adapted to hear the music of the spheres, which always played at certain 
periods, and the Court was now prepared to bear their part in whatever 
instrument they most excelled.
In our journey towards Lagado, the capital city, his Majesty ordered that the 
island should stop over certain towns and villages, from whence he might 
receive the petitions of his subjects. And to this purpose several pack-
threads were let down with small weights at the bottom. On these pack-threads 
the people strung their petitions, which mounted up directly like the scraps 
of paper fastened by schoolboys at the end of the string that holds their 
kite. Sometimes we received wine and victuals from below, which were drawn up 
by pullies.
The knowledge I had in mathematics gave me great assistance in acquiring their 
phraseology, which depended much upon that science and music, and in the 
latter I was not unskilled. Their ideas are perpetually conversant in lines 
and figures. If they would, for example, praise the beauty of a woman, or any 
other animal, they describe it by rhombs, circles, parallelograms, ellipses, 
and other geometrical terms, or by words of art drawn from music, needless 
here to repeat. I observed in the King's kitchen all sorts of mathematical and 
musical instruments, after the figures of which they cut up the joints that 
were served to his Majesty's table.
Their houses are very ill built, the walls bevel, without one right angle in 
any apartment, and this defect arises from the contempt they bear to practical 
geometry, which they despise as vulgar and mechanic, those instructions they 
give being too refined for the intellectuals of their workmen, which occasions 
perpetual mistakes. And although they are dextrous enough upon a piece of 
paper in the management of the rule, the pencil, and the divider, yet in the 
common actions and behaviour of life I have not seen a more clumsy, awkward, 
and unhappy people, nor so slow and perplexed in their conceptions upon all 
other subjects except those of mathematics and music. They are very bad 
reasoners, and vehemently given to opposition, unless when they happen to be 
of the right opinion, which is seldom their case. Imagination, fancy, and 
invention they are wholly strangers to, nor have any words in their language 
by which those ideas can be expressed, the whole compass of their thoughts and 
mind being shut up within the two forementioned sciences.
Most of them, and especially those who deal in the astronomical part, have 
great faith in judicial astrology, although they are ashamed to own it 
publicly. But what I chiefly admired and thought altogether unaccountable was 
the strong disposition I observed in them towards news and politics, 
perpetually inquiring into public affairs, giving their judgments in matters 
of State, and passionately disputing every inch of a party opinion. I have, 
indeed, observed the same disposition among most of the mathematicians I have 
known in Europe, although I could never discover the least analogy between the 
two sciences, unless those people suppose that because the smallest circle 
hath as many degrees as the largest, therefore the regulation and management 
of the world require no more abilities than the handling and turning of a 
globe; but I rather take this quality to spring from a very common infirmity 
of human nature, inclining us to be more curious and conceited in matters 
where we have least concern, and for which we are least adapted either by 
study or nature.
These people are under continual disquietudes, never enjoying a minute's peace 
of mind, and their disturbances proceed from causes which very little affect 
the rest of mortals. Their apprehensions arise from several changes they dread 
in the celestial bodies. For instance, that the earth by the continual 
approaches of the sun towards it must in course of time be absorbed or 
swallowed up. That the face of the sun will, by degrees, be encrusted with its 
own effluvia, and give no more light to the world. That the earth very 
narrowly escaped a brush from the tail of the last comet, which would have 
infallibly reduced it to ashes, and that the next, which they have calculated 
for one-and-thirty years hence, will probably destroy us. For if in its 
perihelion it should approach within a certain degree of the sun (as by their 
calculations they have reason to dread), it will conceive a degree of heat ten-
thousand times more intense than that of red-hot, glowing iron, and in its 
absence from the sun carry a blazing tail ten-hundred-thousand and fourteen 
miles long, through which, if the earth should pass at the distance of one-
hundred-thousand miles from the nucleus or main body of the comet, it must in 
its passage be set on fire and reduced to ashes. That the sun, daily spending 
its rays without any nutriment to supply them, will at last be wholly consumed 
and annihilated, which must be attended with the destruction of this earth, 
and of all the planets that receive their light from it.
They are so perpetually alarmed with the apprehensions of these and the like 
impending dangers that they can neither sleep quietly in their beds nor have 
any relish for the common pleasures or amusements of life. When they meet an 
acquaintance in the morning, the first question is about the sun's health, how 
he looked at his setting and rising, and what hopes they have to avoid the 
stroke of the approaching comet. This conversation they are apt to run into 
with the same temper that boys discover in delighting to hear terrible stories 
of spirits and hobgoblins, which they greedily listen to, and dare not go to 
bed for fear.
The women of the island have abundance of vivacity; they contemn their 
husbands, and are exceedingly fond of strangers, whereof there is always a 
considerable number from the continent below attending at Court, either upon 
affairs of the several towns and corporations, or their own particular 
occasions, but are much despised, because they want the same endowments. Among 
these the ladies choose their gallants; but the vexation is that they act with 
too much ease and security, for the husband is always so wrapt in speculation 
that the mistress and lover may proceed to the greatest familiarities before 
his face, if he be but provided with paper and implements, and without his 
flapper at his side.
The wives and daughters lament their confinement to the island, although I 
think it the most delicious spot of ground in the world; and although they 
live here in the greatest plenty and magnificence, and are allowed to do 
whatever they please, they long to see the world and take the diversions of 
the metropolis, which they are not allowed to do without a particular license 
from the King; and this is not easy to be obtained, because the people of 
quality have found, by frequent experience, how hard it is to persuade their 
women to return from below. I was told that a great Court lady, who had 
several children -is married to the Prime Minister, the richest subject in the 
kingdom, a very graceful person, extremely fond of her, and lives in the 
finest palace of the island -went down to Lagado on the pretence of health, 
there hid herself for several months, till the King sent a warrant to search 
for her, and she was found in an obscure eating-house all in rags, having 
pawned her clothes to maintain an old deformed footman, who beat her every 
day, and in whose company she was taken much against her will. And although 
her husband received her with all possible kindness, and without the least 
reproach, she soon after contrived to steal down again, with all her jewels, 
to the same gallant, and hath not been heard of since.
This may, perhaps, pass with the reader rather for a European or English story 
than for one of a country so remote. But he may please to consider that the 
caprices of womenkind are not limited by any climate or nation, and that they 
are much more uniform than can be easily imagined.
In about a month's time I had made a tolerable proficiency in their language, 
and was able to answer most of the King's questions when I had the honour to 
attend him. His Majesty discovered not the least curiosity to inquire into the 
laws, government, history, religion, or manners of the countries where I had 
been, but confined his questions to the state of mathematics, and received the 
account I gave him with great contempt and indifference, though often roused 
by his flapper on each side.


Chapter 19

A phenomenon solved by modern philosophy and astronomy. The Laputians' great 
improvements in the latter. The King's method of suppressing insurrections.


I desired leave of this Prince to see the curiosities of the island, which he 
was graciously pleased to grant, and ordered my tutor to attend me. I chiefly 
wanted to know to what cause in Art or in Nature it owed its several motions, 
whereof i will now give a philosophical account to the reader.
The Flying or Floating Island is exactly circular, its diameter 7,837 yards, 
or about four miles and a half, and consequently contains ten-thousand acres. 
It is three hundred yards thick. The bottom, or under-surface, which appears 
to those who view it from below, is one even, regular plate of adamant, 
shooting up to the height of about two hundred yards. Above it lie the several 
minerals in their usual order, and over all is a coat of rich mould ten or 
twelve feet deep. This declivity of the upper surface, from the circumference 
to the centre, is the natural cause why all the dews and rains which fall upon 
the island are conveyed in small rivulets towards the middle, where they are 
emptied into four large basins, each of about half a mile in circuit, and two 
hundred yards distant from the centre. From these basins the water is 
continually exhaled by the sun in the daytime, which effectually prevents 
their overflowing. Besides, as it is in the power of the Monarch to raise the 
island above the region of clouds and vapours, he can prevent the falling of 
dews and rains whenever he pleases; for the highest clouds cannot rise above 
two miles, as naturalists agree -at least, they were never known to do in that 
country.
At the centre of the island there is a chasm about fifty yards in diameter, 
from whence the astronomers descend into a large dome, which is therefore 
called Flandona Gagnole, or the Astronomer's Cave, situated at the depth of a 
hundred yards beneath the upper surface of the adamant. In this cave are 
twenty lamps continually burning, which, from the reflection of the adamant, 
cast a strong light into every part. The place is stored with a great variety 
of sextants, quadrants, telescopes, astrolabes, and other astronomical 
instruments. But the greatest curiosity, upon which the fate of the island 
depends, is a loadstone of a prodigious size, in shape resembling a weaver's 
shuttle. It is in length six yards, and in the thickest part at least three 
yards over. This magnet is sustained by a very strong axle of adamant passing 
through its middle, upon which it plays, and is poised so exactly that the 
weakest hand can turn it. It is hooped round with a hollow cylinder of 
adamant, four feet deep, as many thick, and twelve yards in diameter, placed 
horizontally, and supported by eight adamantine feet, each six yards high. In 
the middle of the concave side there is a groove twelve inches deep, in which 
the extremities of the axle are lodged, and turned round as there is occasion.
The stone cannot be moved from its place by any force, because the hoop and 
its feet are one continued piece with that body of adamant which constitutes 
the bottom of the island.
By means of this loadstone the island is made to rise and fall and move from 
one place to another. For, with respect to that part of the earth over which 
the Monarch presides, the stone is endued at one of its sides with an 
attractive power, and at the other with a repulsive. Upon placing the magnet 
erect with its attracting end towards the earth, the island descends; but when 
the repelling extremity points downwards, the island mounts directly upwards. 
When the position of the stone is oblique, the motion of the island is so too; 
for in this magnet the forces always act in lines parallel to its direction.
By this oblique motion the island is conveyed to different parts of the 
Monarch's dominions. To explain the manner of its progress, let A B represent 
a line drawn across the dominions of Balnibarbi, let the line c d represent 
the loadstone, of which let d be the repelling end and c the attracting end; 
the island being over C, let the stone be placed in the position c d, with its 
repelling end downwards, then the island will be driven upwards obliquely 
towards D. When it is arrived at D, let the stone be turned upon its axle till 
its attracting end points towards E, and then the island will be carried 
obliquely towards E; where, if the stone be again turned upon its axle till it 
stands in the position E F, with its repelling point downwards, the island 
will rise obliquely towards F; where, by directing the attracting end towards 
G, the island may be carried to G, and from G to H, by turning the stone, so 
as to make its repelling extremity point directly downwards. And thus, by 
changing the situation of the stone as often as there is occasion, the island 
is made to rise and fall by turns in an oblique direction, and by those 
alternate risings and fallings (the obliquity being not considerable) is 
conveyed from one part of the dominions to the other.
But it must be observed that this island cannot move beyond the extent of the 
dominions below, nor can it rise above the height of four miles. For which the 
astronomers (who have written large systems concerning the stone) assign the 
following reason: That the magnetic virtue does not extend beyond the distance 
of four miles, and that the mineral which acts upon the stone in the bowels of 
the earth, and in the sea about six leagues distant from the shore, is not 
diffused through the whole globe, but terminated within the limits of the 
King's dominions; and it was easy, from the great advantage of such a superior 
situation, for a Prince to bring under his obedience whatever country lay 
within the attraction of that magnet.
When the stone is put parallel to the plane of the horizon, the island stands 
still; for in that case the extremities of it, being at equal distance from 
the earth, act with equal force, the one in drawing downwards, the other in 
pushing upwards, and consequently no motion can ensue.
This loadstone is under the care of certain astronomers, who from time to time 
give it such positions as the Monarch directs. They spend the greatest part of 
their lives in observing the celestial bodies, which they do by the assistance 
of glasses far excelling ours in goodness; for although their largest 
telescopes do not exceed three feet, they magnify much more than those of a 
hundred among us, and show the stars with greater clearness. This advantage 
hath enabled them to extend the discoveries much farther than our astronomers 
in Europe; for they have made a catalogue of ten-thousand fixed stars, whereas 
the largest of ours do not contain above one-third part of that number. They 
have likewise discovered two lesser stars, or satellites, which revolve about 
Mars, whereof the innermost is distant from the centre of the primary planet 
exactly three of his diameters and the outermost five; the former revolves in 
the space often hours, and the latter in twenty-one and a half; so that the 
squares of their periodical times are very near in the same proportion with 
the cubes of their distance from the centre of Mars, which evidently shows 
them to be governed by the same law of gravitation that influences the other 
heavenly bodies.
They have observed ninety-three different comets, and settled their periods 
with great exactness. If this be true (and they affirm it with great 
confidence), it is much to be wished that their observations were made public, 
whereby the theory of comets, which at present is very lame and defective, 
might be brought to the same perfection with other parts of astronomy.
The King would be the most absolute Prince in the universe if he could but 
prevail on a Ministry to join with him; but these, having their estates below 
on the continent, and considering that the office of a favourite hath a very 
uncertain tenure, would never consent to the enslaving their country.
If any town should engage in rebellion or mutiny, fall into violent factions, 
or refuse to pay the usual tribute, the King hath two methods of reducing them 
to obedience. The first and the mildest course is by keeping the island 
hovering over such a town and the lands about it, whereby he can deprive them 
of the benefit of the sun and the rain, and consequently afflict the 
inhabitants with death and diseases. And if the crime deserve it, they are at 
the same time pelted from above with great stones, against which they have no 
defence but by creeping into cellars or caves, while the roofs of their houses 
are beaten to pieces. But if they still continue obstinate, or offer to raise 
insurrections, he proceeds to the last remedy by letting the island drop 
directly upon their heads, which makes a universal destruction both of houses 
and men. However, this is an extremity to which the Prince is seldom driven; 
neither, indeed, is he willing to put it in execution, nor dare his Ministers 
advise him to an action, which, as it would render them odious to the people, 
so it would be a great damage to their own estates, which lie all below, for 
the island is the King's demesne.
But there is still, indeed, a more weighty reason why the Kings of this 
country have been always averse from executing so terrible an action, unless 
upon the utmost necessity. For if the town intended to be destroyed should 
have in it any tall rocks, as it generally falls out in the larger cities -a 
situation probably chosen at first with a view to prevent such a catastrophe -
or if it abound in high spires or pillars of stone, a sudden fall might 
endanger the bottom or under-surface of the island, which, although it 
consists, as I have said, of one entire adamant two hundred yards thick, might 
happen to crack by too great a shock, or burst by approaching too near the 
fires from the houses below, as the backs both of iron and stone will often do 
in our chimneys. of all this the people are well apprised, and understand how 
far to carry their obstinacy, where their liberty or property is concerned. 
And the King, when he is the highest provoked, and most determined to press a 
city to rubbish, orders the island to descend with great gentleness, out of a 
pretence of tenderness to his people, but, indeed, for fear of breaking the 
adamantine bottom, in which case it is the opinion of all their philosophers 
that the loadstone could no longer hold it up, and the whole mass would fall 
to the ground.
By a fundamental law of this realm neither the King nor either of his two 
elder sons are permitted to leave the island, nor the Queen till she is past 
child-bearing.


Chapter 20

The Author leaves Laputa, is conveyed to Balnibarbi, arrives at the 
metropolis. A description of the metropolis and the country adjoining. The 
Author hospitably received by a great lord. His conversation with that lord.


Although I cannot say that I was ill-treated in this island, yet I must 
confess I thought myself too much neglected, not without some degree of 
contempt. For neither Prince nor people appeared to be curious in any part of 
knowledge except mathematics and music, wherein I was far their inferior, and 
upon that account very little regarded.
On the other side, after having seen all the curiosities of the island, I was 
very desirous to leave it, being heartily weary of those people. They were 
indeed excellent for two sciences for which I have great esteem, and wherein I 
am not unversed; but, at the same time, so abstracted and involved in 
speculation that I never met with such disagreeable companions. I conversed 
only with women, tradesmen, flappers, and Court pages during two months of my 
abode here, by which, at last, I rendered myself extremely contemptible; yet 
these were the only people from whom I could ever receive a reasonable answer.
I had obtained by hard study a good degree of knowledge in their language; I 
was weary of being confined to an island where I received so little 
countenance, and resolved to leave it with the first opportunity.
There was a great lord at Court nearly related to the King, and for that 
reason alone used with respect. He was universally reckoned the most ignorant 
and stupid person among them. He had performed many eminent services for the 
Crown, had great natural and acquired parts, adorned with integrity and 
honour, but so ill an ear for music that his detractors reported he had been 
often known to beat time in the wrong place; neither could his tutors, without 
extreme difficulty, teach him to demonstrate the most easy proposition in the 
mathematics. He was pleased to show me many marks of favour, often did me the 
honour of a visit, desired to be informed in the affairs of Europe, the laws 
and customs, the manners and learning of the several countries where I had 
travelled. He listened to me with great attention, and made very wise 
observations on all I spoke. He had two flappers attending him for State, but 
never made use of them except at Court and in visits of ceremony, and would 
always command them to withdraw when we were alone together.
I entreated this illustrious person to intercede in my behalf with his Majesty 
for leave to depart, which he accordingly did, as he was pleased to tell me, 
with regret; for, indeed, he had made me several offers very advantageous, 
which, however, I refused with expressions of the highest acknowledgment.
On the 16th day of February I took leave of his Majesty and the Court. The 
King made me a present to the value of about two hundred English pounds, and 
my protector his kinsman as much more, together with a letter of 
recommendation to a friend of his in Lagado, the metropolis; the island being 
then hovering over a mountain about two miles from it, I was let down from the 
lowest gallery in the same manner as I had been taken up.
The continent, as far as it is subject to the Monarch of the Flying Island, 
passes under the general name of Balnibarbi, and the metropolis, as I said 
before, is called Lagado. I felt some little satisfaction in finding myself on 
firm ground. I walked to the city without any concern, being clad like one of 
the natives, and sufficiently instructed to converse with them. I soon found 
out the person's house to whom I was recommended, presented my letter from his 
friend the grandee in the island, and was received with much kindness. This 
great lord, whose name was Munodi, ordered me an apartment in his own house, 
where I continued during my stay, and was entertained in a most hospitable 
manner.
The next morning after my arrival he took me in his chariot to see the town, 
which is about half the bigness of London, but the houses very strangely 
built, and most of them out of repair. The people in the streets walked fast, 
looked wild, their eyes fixed, and were generally in rags. We passed through 
one of the town gates, and went about three miles into the country, where I 
saw many labourers working with several sorts of tools in the ground, but was 
not able to conjecture what they were about; neither did I observe any 
expectation either of corn or grass, although the soil appeared to be 
excellent. I could not forbear wondering at these odd appearances both in town 
and country, and I made bold to desire my conductor that he would be pleased 
to explain to me what could be meant by so many busy heads, hands, and faces, 
both in the streets and the fields, because I did not discover any good 
effects they produced; but, on the contrary, I never knew a soil so unhappily 
cultivated, houses so ill-contrived and so ruinous, or a people whose 
countenances and habit expressed so much misery and want.
This Lord Munodi was a person of the first rank, and had been some years 
Governor of Lagado, but by a cabal of Ministers was discharged for 
insufficiency. However, the King treated him with tenderness, as a well-
meaning man, but of a low, contemptible understanding.
When I gave that free censure of the country and its inhabitants, he made no 
further answer than by telling me that I had not been long enough among them 
to form a judgment, and that the different nations of the world had different 
customs, with other common topics to the same purpose. But when we returned to 
his palace, he asked me how I liked the building, what absurdities I observed, 
and what quarrel I had with the dress and looks of his domestics. This he 
might safely do, because everything about him was magnificent, regular, and 
polite. I answered that his Excellency's prudence, quality, and fortune had 
exempted him from those defects which folly and beggary had produced in 
others. He said if I would go with him to his country house, about twenty 
miles distant, where his estate lay, there would be more leisure for this kind 
of conversation. I told his Excellency that I was entirely at his disposal, 
and accordingly we set out next morning.
During our journey he made me observe the several methods used by farmers in 
managing their lands, which to me were wholly unaccountable; for, except in 
some very few places, I could not discover one ear of corn or blade of grass. 
But in three hours' travelling the scene was wholly altered; we came into a 
most beautiful country: farmers' houses at small distances, neatly built; the 
fields enclosed, containing vineyards, corn-grounds, and meadows. Neither do I 
remember to have seen a more delightful prospect. His Excellency observed my 
countenance to clear up; he told me, with a sigh, that there his estate began, 
and would continue the same till we should come to his house; that his 
countrymen ridiculed and despised him for managing his affairs no better, and 
for setting so ill an example to the kingdom, which however, was followed by 
very few, such as were old, and wilful, and weak, like himself.
We came at length to the house, which was indeed a noble structure, built 
according to the best rules of ancient architecture. The fountains, gardens, 
walks, avenues, and groves, were all disposed with exact judgment and taste. I 
gave due praises to everything I saw, whereof his Excellency took not the 
least notice till after supper, when, there being no third companion, he told 
me, with a very melancholy air, that he doubted he must throw down his houses 
in town and country, to rebuild them after the present mode, destroy all his 
plantations, and cast others in such a form as modern usage required, and give 
the same directions to all his tenants, unless he would submit to incur the 
censure of pride, singularity, affectation, ignorance, caprice, and perhaps 
increase his Majesty's displeasure.
That the admiration I appeared to be under would cease or diminish when he had 
informed me of some particulars which, probably, I never heard of at Court, 
the people there being too much taken up in their own speculations to have 
regard to what passed here below.
The sum of his discourse was to this effect: That about forty years ago 
certain persons went up to Laputa, either upon business or diversion, and, 
after five months' continuance, came back with a very little smattering in 
mathematics, but full of volatile spirits acquired in that airy region. That 
these persons upon their return began to dislike the management of everything 
below, and fell into schemes of putting all arts, sciences, languages, and 
mechanics upon a new footing. To this end they procured a Royal Patent for 
erecting an academy of projectors in Lagado, and the humour prevailed so 
strongly among the people that there is not a town of any consequence in the 
kingdom without such an academy. In these colleges the professors contrive new 
rules and methods of agriculture and building, and new instruments and tools 
for all trades and manufactures, whereby, as they undertake, one man shall do 
the work often; a palace may be built in a week, of materials so durable as to 
last for ever without repairing; all the fruits of the earth shall come to 
maturity at whatever season we think fit to choose, and increasing a 
hundredfold more than they do at present, with innumerable other happy 
proposals. The only inconvenience is that none of these projects are yet 
brought to perfection, and in the meantime the whole country lies miserably 
waste, the houses in ruins and the people without food or clothes, by all of 
which, instead of being discouraged, they are fifty times more violently bent 
upon prosecuting their schemes, driven equally on by hope and despair. That, 
as for himself, being not of an enterprising spirit, he was content to go on 
in the old forms, to live in the houses his ancestors had built, and act as 
they did in every part of life without innovation. That some few other persons 
of quality and gentry had done the same, but were looked on with an eye of 
contempt and ill-will, as enemies to art, ignorant, and ill Commonwealthsmen, 
preferring their own ease and sloth before the general improvement of their 
country.
His lordship added that he would not by any further particulars prevent the 
pleasure I should certainly take in viewing the grand academy, whither he was 
resolved I should go. He only desired me to observe a ruined building upon the 
side of a mountain about three miles distant, of which he gave me this 
account: That he had a very convenient mill within half a mile of his house, 
turned by a current from a large river, and sufficient for his own family, as 
well as a great number of his tenants. That about seven years ago a club of 
those projectors came to him with proposals to destroy this mill and build 
another on the side of that mountain, on the long ridge whereof a long canal 
must be cut for a repository of water, to be conveyed up by pipes and engines 
to supply the mill, because the wind and air upon a height agitated the water, 
and thereby made it fitter for motion, and because the water, descending down 
a declivity, would turn the mill with half the current of a river whose course 
is more upon a level. He said that, being then not very well with the Court, 
and pressed by many of his friends, he complied with the proposal, and, after 
employing a hundred men for two years, the work miscarried, the projectors 
went off, laying the blame entirely upon him, railing at him ever since, and 
putting others upon the same experiment, with equal assurance of success, as 
well as equal disappointment.
In a few days we came back to town, and his Excellency, considering the bad 
character he had in the Academy, would not go with me himself, but recommended 
me to a friend of his to bear me company thither. My lord was pleased to 
represent me as a great admirer of projects, and a person of much curiosity 
and easy belief, which, indeed, was not without truth, for I had myself been a 
sort of a projector in my younger days.


Chapter 21

The Author permitted to see the Grand Academy of Lagado. The Academy largely 
described. The Arts wherein the professors employ themselves.


This Academy is not an entire single building, but a continuation of several 
houses on both sides of the street, which, growing waste, was purchased and 
applied to that use.
I was received very kindly by the warden, and went for many days to the 
Academy. Every room hath in it one or more projectors, and I believe I could 
not have been in fewer than five hundred rooms.
The first man I saw was of meagre aspect, with sooty hands and face, his hair 
and beard long, ragged, and singed in several places. His clothes, shirt, and 
skin were all of the same colour. He had been eight years upon a project for 
extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers, which were to be put into vials 
hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the air in raw, inclement summers. He 
told me he did not doubt in eight years more he should be able to supply the 
Governor's gardens with sunshine at a reasonable rate; but he complained that 
his stock was low, and entreated me to give him something as an encouragement 
to ingenuity, especially since this had been a very dear season for cucumbers. 
I made him a small present, for my lord had furnished me with money on 
purpose, because he knew their practice of begging from all who go to see them.
I went into another chamber, but was ready to hasten back, being almost 
overcome with a horrible stink. My conductor pressed me forward conjuring me, 
in a whisper, to give no offence, which would be highly resented, and 
therefore I dare not so much as stop my nose. The projector of this cell was 
the most ancient student of the Academy. His face and beard were of a pale 
yellow; his hands and clothes daubed over with filth. When I was presented to 
him, he gave me a very close embrace (a compliment I could well have excused). 
His employment, from his first coming into the Academy, was an operation to 
reduce human excrement to its original food by separating the several parts, 
removing the tincture which it receives from the gall, making the odour 
exhale, and scumming off the saliva. He had a weekly allowance from the 
society of a vessel filled with human ordure about the bigness of a Bristol 
barrel.
I saw another at work to calcine ice into gunpowder, who likewise showed me a 
treatise he had written concerning the malleability of fire, which he intended 
to publish.
There was a most ingenious architect who had contrived a new method for 
building houses, by beginning at the roof and working downwards to the 
foundations, which he justified to me by the like practice of those two 
prudent insects, the bee and the spider.
There was a man born blind, who had several apprentices in his own condition. 
Their employment was to mix colours for painters, which their master taught 
them to distinguish by feeling and smelling. It was, indeed, my misfortune to 
find them at that time not very perfect in their lessons, and the professor 
himself happened to be generally mistaken. This artist is much encouraged and 
esteemed by the whole fraternity.
In another apartment I was highly pleased with a projector who had found a 
device for ploughing the ground with hogs, to save the charges of ploughs, 
cattle, and labour. The method is this: In an acre of ground you bury at six 
inches distant and eight deep a quantity of acorns, dates, chestnuts, and 
other mast or vegetables whereof these animals are fondest; then you drive six 
hundred or more of them into the field, where in a few days they will root up 
the whole ground in search of their food and make it fit for sowing, at the 
same time manuring it with their dung. It is true upon experiment they found 
the charge and trouble very great, and they had little or no crop. However, it 
is not doubted that this invention may be capable of great improvement.
I went into another room, where the walls and ceiling were all hung round with 
cobwebs, except a narrow passage for the artist to go in and out. At my 
entrance he called aloud to me not to disturb his webs. He lamented the fatal 
mistake the world had been so long in of using silkworms, while he had such 
plenty of domestic insects who infinitely excelled the former, because they 
understood how to weave as well as spin. And he proposed, further, that by 
employing spiders the charge of dyeing silks should be wholly saved, whereof I 
was fully convinced when he showed me a vast number of flies most beautifully 
coloured, wherewith he fed his spiders, assuring us that the webs would take a 
tincture from them, and as he had them of all hues, he hoped to fit 
everybody's fancy, as soon as he could find proper food for the flies, of 
certain gums, oils, and other glutinous matter to give a strength and 
consistence to the threads.
There was an astronomer who had undertaken to place a sundial upon the great 
weathercock on the Town House by adjusting the annual and diurnal motions of 
the earth and sun, so as to answer and coincide with all accidental turnings 
by the wind.
I was complaining of a small fit of the colic, upon which my conductor led me 
into a room where a great physician resided who was famous for curing that 
disease by contrary operations from the same instrument. He had a large pair 
of bellows with a long, slender muzzle of ivory. This he conveyed eight inches 
up the anus, and, drawing in the wind, he affirmed he could make the guts as 
lank as a dried bladder. But when the disease was more stubborn and violent, 
he let in the muzzle while the bellows were full of wind, which he discharged 
into the body of the patient, then withdrew the instrument to replenish it, 
clapping his thumb strongly against the orifice of the fundament, and this 
being repeated three or four times, the adventitious wind would rush out, 
bringing the noxious along with it (like water put into a pump), and the 
patient recover. I saw him try both experiments upon a dog, but could not 
discern any effect from the former. After the latter, the animal was ready to 
burst, and made so violent a discharge as was very offensive to me and my 
companion. The dog died on the spot, and we left the doctor endeavouring to 
recover him by the same operation.
I visited many other apartments, but shall not trouble my reader with all the 
curiosities I observed, being studious of brevity.
I had hitherto seen only one side of the Academy, the other being appropriated 
to the advancers of speculative learning, of whom I shall say something when I 
have mentioned one illustrious person more, who is called among them the 
universal artist. He told us he had been thirty years employing his thoughts 
for the improvement of human life. He had two large rooms full of wonderful 
curiosities and fifty men at work. Some were condensing air into a dry, 
tangible substance by extracting the nitre, and letting the aqueous or fluid 
particles percolate; others softening marble for pillows and pin-cushions; 
others petrifying the hoofs of a living horse to preserve them from 
foundering. The artist himself was at that time busy upon two great designs, 
the first to sow land with chaff, wherein he affirmed the true seminal virtue 
to be contained, as he demonstrated by several experiments which I was not 
skilful enough to comprehend. The other was, by a certain composition of gums, 
minerals, and vegetables outwardly applied, to prevent the growth of wool upon 
two young lambs, and he hoped in a reasonable time to propagate the breed of 
naked sheep all over the kingdom.
We crossed a walk to the other part of the Academy, where, as I have already 
said, the projectors in speculative learning resided.
The first professor I saw was in a very large room, with forty pupils about 
him. After our salutation, observing me to look earnestly upon a frame which 
took up the greatest part of both the length and breadth of the room, he said 
perhaps I might wonder to see him employed in a project for improving 
speculative knowledge by practical and mechanical operations. But the world 
would soon be sensible of its usefulness, and he flattered himself that a more 
noble, exalted thought never sprung in any other man's head. Everyone knew how 
laborious the usual method is of attaining to arts and sciences, whereas by 
his contrivance the most ignorant person, at a reasonable charge and with a 
little bodily labour, may write both in philosophy, poetry, politics, law, 
mathematics, and theology, without the least assistance from genius or study. 
He then led me to the frame, about the sides whereof all his pupils stood in 
ranks. It was twenty feet square, placed in the middle of the room. The 
superficies was composed of several bits of wood, about the bigness of a die, 
but some larger than others. They were all linked together by slender wires. 
These bits of wood were covered on every square with paper pasted on them, and 
on these papers were written all the words of their language in their several 
moods, tenses, and declensions, but without any order. The professor then 
desired me to observe, for he was going to set his engine at work. The pupils 
at his command took each of them hold of an iron handle, whereof there were 
forty fixed round the edges of the frame, and, giving them a sudden turn, the 
whole disposition of the words was entirely changed. He then commanded six-and-
thirty of the lads to read the several lines softly as they appeared upon the 
frame, and where they found three of four words together that might make part 
of a sentence, they dictated to the four remaining boys, who were scribes. 
This work was repeated three or four times, and at every turn the engine was 
so contrived that the words shifted into new places, or the square bits of 
wood moved upside down.
Six hours a day the young students were employed in this labour, and the 
professor showed me several volumes in large folios already collected of 
broken sentences, which he intended to piece together, and out of those rich 
materials to give the world a complete body of all arts and sciences, which, 
however, might be still improved and much expedited if the public would raise 
a fund for making and employing five hundred such frames in Lagado, and oblige 
the managers to contribute in common their several collections.
He assured me that this invention had employed all his thoughts from his 
youth, that he had employed the whole vocabulary into his frame, and made the 
strictest computation of the general proportion there is in the book between 
the numbers of particles, nouns, and verbs, and other parts of speech.
I made my humblest acknowledgment to this illustrious person for his great 
communicativeness, and promised, if ever I had the good fortune to return to 
my native country, that I would do him justice as the sole inventor of this 
wonderful machine, the form and contrivance of which I desired leave to 
delineate upon paper. I told him, although it were the custom of our learned 
in Europe to steal inventions from each other, who had thereby at least this 
advantage, that it became a controversy which was the right owner, yet I would 
take such caution that he should have the honour entire without a rival.
We next went to the School of Language, where three professors sat in 
consultation upon improving that of their own country.
The first project was to shorten discourse by cutting polysyllables into one, 
and leaving out verbs and participles, because in reality all things 
imaginable are but nouns.
The other was a scheme for entirely abolishing all words whatsoever, and this 
was urged as a great advantage in point of health as well as brevity. For it 
is plain that every word we speak is in some degree a diminution of our lungs 
by corrosion, and consequently contributes to the shortening of our lives. An 
expedient was therefore offered that, since words are only names for things, 
it would be more convenient for all men to carry about them such things as 
were necessary to express the particular business they are to discourse on. 
And this invention would certainly have taken place, to the great ease as well 
as health of the subject, if the women, in conjunction with the vulgar and 
illiterate, had not threatened to raise a rebellion unless they might be 
allowed the liberty to speak with their tongues, after the manner of their 
ancestors, such constant, irreconcilable enemies to science are the common 
people. However, many of the most learned and wise adhere to the new scheme of 
expressing themselves by things, which hath only this inconvenience attending 
it, that if a man's business be very great and of various kinds he must be 
obliged in proportion to carry a great bundle of things upon his back, unless 
he can afford one or two strong servants to attend him. I have often beheld 
two of those sages almost sinking under the weight of their packs, like 
pedlars among us, who, when they meet in the streets, would lay down their 
loads, open their saddles, and hold conversation for an hour together, then 
put up their implements, help each other to resume their burdens, and take 
their leave.
But for short conversations a man may carry implements in his pockets and 
under his arms, enough to supply him, and in his house he cannot be at a loss; 
therefore, the room where company meet who practice this art is full of all 
things ready at hand requisite to furnish matter of this kind of artificial 
converse.
Another great advantage proposed by this invention was that it would serve as 
a universal language to be understood in all civilised nations, whose goods 
and utensils are generally of the same kind, or nearly resembling, so that 
their uses might easily be comprehended. And the Ambassadors would be 
qualified to treat with foreign Princes or Ministers of State to whose tongues 
they were utter strangers.
I was at the Mathematical School, where the master taught his pupils after a 
method scarcely imaginable to us in Europe. The proposition and demonstration 
were fairly written on a thin wafer, with ink composed of a cephalic tincture. 
This the student was to swallow upon a fasting stomach, and for three days 
following eat nothing but bread and water. As the wafer digested, the tincture 
mounted to his brain, bearing the proposition along with it. But the success 
hath not hitherto been answerable, partly by some error in the quantum or 
composition, and partly by the perverseness of lads, to whom this bolus is so 
nauseous that they generally steal aside and discharge it upwards before it 
can operate; neither have they been yet persuaded to use so long an abstinence 
as the prescription requires.


Chapter 22

A further account of the Academy. The Author proposes some improvements, which 
are honourably received.


In the School of Political Projectors I was but ill-entertained, the 
professors appearing, in my judgment, wholly out of their senses, which is a 
scene that never fails to make me melancholy. These unhappy people were 
proposing schemes for persuading monarchs to choose favourites upon the score 
of their wisdom, capacity, and virtue; of teaching Ministers to consult the 
public good; of rewarding merit, great abilities, and eminent services; of 
instructing Princes to know their true interest by placing it on the same 
foundation with that of their people; of choosing for employments persons 
qualified to exercise them, with many other wild, impossible chimeras that 
never entered before into the heart of man to conceive, and confirmed in me 
the old observation that there is nothing so extravagant and irrational which 
some philosophers have not maintained for truth.
But, however, I shall so far do justice to this part of the Academy as to 
acknowledge that all of them were not so visionary. There was a most ingenious 
doctor who seemed to be perfectly versed in the whole nature and system of 
government. This illustrious person had very usefully employed his studies in 
finding out effectual remedies for all diseases and corruptions to which the 
several kinds of public administrations are subject by the vices or 
infirmities of those who govern, as well as by the licentiousness of those who 
are to obey. For instance, whereas all writers and reasoners have agreed that 
there is a strict universal resemblance between the natural and the political 
body, can there be anything more evident than that the health of both must be 
preserved, and the diseases cured by the same prescription? It is allowed that 
senates and great councils are often troubled with redundant, ebullient, and 
other peccant humours, with many diseases of the head and more of the heart; 
with strong convulsions, with grievous contractions of the nerves and sinews 
in both hands, but especially the right; with spleen, flatus, vertigos, and 
deliriums; with scrofulous tumours, full of foetid, purulent matter; with 
sour, frothy ructations; with canine appetites and crudeness of digestion, 
besides many others needless to mention. This doctor, therefore proposed that 
upon the meeting of a senate certain physicians should attend at the three 
first days of their sitting, and at the close of each day's debate feel the 
pulses of every senator; after which, having maturely considered and consulted 
upon the nature of the several maladies and the method of cure, they should on 
the fourth day return to the Senate House, attended by their apothecaries 
stored with proper medicines, and, before the members sat, administer to each 
of them lenitives, aperitives, abstersives, corrosives, restringents, 
palliatives, laxatives, cephalalgics, icterics, apophlegmatics, acoustics, as 
their several cases required, and according as these medicines should operate, 
repeat, alter, or omit them at the next meeting.
This project could not be of any great expense to the public, and would, in my 
poor opinion, be of much use for the despatch of business in those countries 
where senates have any share in the legislative power, beget unanimity, 
shorten debates, open a few mouths which are now closed, and close many more 
which are now open; curb the petulancy of the young, and correct the 
positiveness of the old; rouse the stupid, and damp the pert.
Again, because it is a general complaint that the favourites of Princes are 
troubled with short and weak memories, the same doctor proposed that whoever 
attended a first Minister, after having told his business with the utmost 
brevity and in the plainest words, should at his departure give the said 
Minister a tweak by the nose, or a kick in the belly, or tread on his corns, 
or lug him thrice by both ears, or run a pin into his breech, or pinch his arm 
black and blue, to prevent forgetfulness; and at every levee day repeat the 
same operation till the business was done or absolutely refused.
He likewise directed that every senator in the great council of a nation, 
after he had delivered his opinion and argued in the defence of it, should be 
obliged to give his vote directly contrary, because if that were done the 
result would infallibly terminate in the good of the public.
When parties in a State are violent, he offered a wonderful contrivance to 
reconcile them. The method is this: You take a hundred leaders of each party, 
you dispose of them into couples of such whose heads are nearest of a size; 
then let two nice operators saw off the occiput of each couple at the same 
time, in such a manner that the brain may be equally divided. Let the occiputs 
thus cut off be interchanged, applying each to the head of his opposite party-
man. It seems, indeed, to be a work that requires some exactness, but the 
professor assured us that if it were dextrously performed the cure would be 
infallible. For he argued thus: that the two half-brains, being left to debate 
the matter between themselves within the space of one skull, would soon come 
to a good understanding, and produce that moderation as well as regularity of 
thinking so much to be wished for in the heads of those who imagine they come 
into the world only to watch and govern its motion; and as to the difference 
of brains in quantity or quality among those who are directors in faction, the 
doctor assured us from his own knowledge that it was a perfect trifle.
I heard a very warm debate between two professors about the most commodious 
and effectual ways and means of raising money without grieving the subject. 
The first affirmed the justest method would be to lay a certain tax upon vices 
and folly, and the sum fixed upon every man to be rated after the fairest 
manner by a jury of his neighbours. The second was of an opinion directly 
contrary, to tax those qualities of body and mind for which men chiefly value 
themselves, the rate to be more or less according to the degrees of excelling, 
the decision whereof should be left entirely to their own breast. The highest 
tax was upon men who are the greatest favourites of the other sex, and the 
assessments according to the number and natures of the favours they have 
received, for which they are allowed to be their own vouchers. Wit, valour, 
and politeness were likewise proposed to be largely taxed, and collected in 
the same manner by every person giving his own word for the quantum of what he 
possessed. But as to honour, justice, wisdom, and learning, they should not be 
taxed at all, because they are qualifications of so singular a kind that no 
man will either allow them in his neighbour or value them in himself.
The women were proposed to be taxed according to their beauty and skill in 
dressing, wherein they had the same privilege with the men, to be determined 
by their own judgment. But constancy, chastity, good sense, and good nature 
were not rated, because they would not bear the charge of collecting.
To keep senators in the interest of the Crown, it was proposed that the 
members should raffle for employments, every man first taking an oath and 
giving security that he would vote for the Court whether he won or no, after 
which the losers had in their turn the liberty of raffling upon the next 
vacancy. Thus hope and expectation would be kept alive, none would complain of 
broken promises, but impute their disappointments wholly to Fortune, whose 
shoulders are broader and stronger than those of a Ministry.
Another professor showed me a large paper of instructions for discovering 
plots and conspiracies against the governments. He advised great statesmen to 
examine into the diet of all suspected persons; their times of eating; upon 
which side they lay in bed; with which hand they wiped their posteriors; take 
a strict view of their excrements, and from the colour, the odour, the taste, 
the consistence, the crudeness, or maturity of digestion, form a judgment of 
their thoughts and designs, because men are never so serious, thoughtful, and 
intent, as when they are at stool, which he found by frequent experiment; for 
in such conjunctures, when he used merely as a trial to consider which was the 
best way of murdering the King, his ordure would have a tincture of green, but 
quite different when he thought only of raising an insurrection or burning the 
metropolis.
The whole discourse was written with great acuteness, containing many 
observations both curious and useful for politicians, but as I conceived not 
altogether complete. This I ventured to tell the author, and offered, if he 
pleased, to supply him with some additions. He received my proposition with 
more compliance than is usual among writers, especially those of the 
projecting species, professing he would be glad to receive further information.
I told him that, should I happen to live in a kingdom where plots and 
conspiracies were either in vogue from the turbulency of the meaner people, or 
could be turned to the use and service of the higher rank of them, I first 
would take care to cherish and encourage the breed of discoverers, witnesses, 
informers, accusers, prosecutors, evidences, swearers, together with their 
several subservient and subaltern instruments; and when I had got a competent 
number of them of all sorts and capacities, I would put them under the colour 
and conduct of some dextrous person in sufficient power both to protect and 
reward them. Men thus qualified and thus empowered might make a most excellent 
use and advantage of plots; they might raise their own characters and pass for 
most profound politicians; they might restore new vigour to a crazy 
administration; they might stifle or divert general discontents, fill their 
pockets with forfeitures, and advance or sink the opinion of public credit, as 
either might answer their private advantage. This might be done by first 
agreeing and settling among themselves what suspected persons should be 
accused of a plot. Then effectual care is taken to secure all their letters 
and papers, and put the criminal in safe and secure custody. These papers 
might be delivered to a set of artists of dexterity sufficient to find out the 
mysterious meanings of words, syllables, and letters. They should be allowed 
to put what interpretation they pleased upon them, giving them a sense, not 
only which has no relation at all to them, but even what is quite contrary to 
their true intent and real meaning; thus, for instance, they may, if they so 
fancy, interpret a sieve to signify a Court lady, a lame dog an invader, the 
plague a standing army, a buzzard a great statesman, the gout a high priest, a 
chamberpot a committee of grandees, a broom a revolution, a mouse-trap an 
employment, a bottomless pit a treasury, a sink a Court, a cap and bells a 
favourite, a broken reed a court of justice, an empty tun a general, a running 
sore an administration.
But should this method fail, recourse might be had to others more effectual, 
by learned men called acrostics and anagrams. First might be found men of 
skill and penetration, who can discern that all initial letters have political 
meanings. Thus N shall signify a plot, B a regiment of horse, L a fleet at 
sea. Or, secondly, by transposing the letters of the alphabet in any suspected 
paper, who can discover the deepest designs of a discontented party. So, for 
example, if I should say in a letter to a friend, "Our brother Tom has just 
got the piles," a man of skill in this art would discover how the same letters 
which compose that sentence may be analysed into the following words: "Resist -
a plot is brought home - -the tour." And this is the anagrammatic method.
The professor made me great acknowledgments for communicating these 
observations, and promised to make honourable mention of me in his treatise.
I saw nothing in this country that could invite me to a longer continuance, 
and began to think of returning home to England.


Chapter 23

The Author leaves Lagado; Arrives at Maldonada. No ship ready. He takes a 
short voyage to Glubbdubdrib. His reception by the Governor.


The continent of which this kingdom was a part extends itself, as I have 
reason to believe, eastward to that unknown tract of America, westward of 
California, and north to the Pacific Ocean, which is not above a hundred and 
fifty miles from Lagado, where there is a good port and much commerce with the 
great island of Luggnagg, situated to the north-west about 29 degrees north 
latitude, and 140 longitude. This island of Luggnagg stands south-eastwards of 
Japan, about a hundred leagues distant. There is a strict alliance between the 
Japanese Emperor and the King of Luggnagg, which affords frequent 
opportunities of sailing from one island to the other. I determined, 
therefore, to direct my course this way in order to return to Europe. I hired 
two mules with a guide to show me the way and carry my small baggage. I took 
leave of my noble protector, who had shown me so much favour and made me a 
generous present at my departure.
My journey was without any accident or adventure worth relating. When I 
arrived at the port of Maldonada (for so it is called), there was no ship in 
the harbour bound for Luggnagg, nor like to be for some time. The town is 
about as large as Portsmouth. I soon fell into some acquaintance, and was very 
hospitably received. A gentleman of distinction said to me that since the 
ships bound for Luggnagg could not be ready in less than a month, it might be 
no disagreeable amusement for me to take a trip to the little island of 
Glubbdubdrib, about five leagues off to the south-west. He offered himself and 
a friend to accompany me, and that I should be provided with a small 
convenient barque for the voyage.
Glubbdubdrib, as nearly as I can interpret the word, signifies the island of 
sorcerers or magicians. It is about one-third as large as the Isle of Wight 
and extremely fruitful. It is governed by the head of a certain tribe who are 
all magicians. This tribe marries only among each other, and the eldest in 
succession is Prince or Governor. He has a noble palace and a park of about 
three-thousand acres, surrounded by a wall of hewn stone twenty feet high. In 
this park are several smaller enclosures for cattle, corn, and gardening.
The Governor and his family are several and attended by domestics of a kind 
somewhat unusual. By his skill in necromancy he has a power of calling whom he 
pleases from the dead and commanding their services for twenty-four hours, but 
no longer; nor can he call the same person up again in less than three months, 
except upon very extraordinary occasions.
When we arrived at the island, which was about eleven in the morning, one of 
the gentlemen who accompanied me went to the Governor and desired admittance 
for a stranger, who came on purpose to have the honour of attending on his 
Highness. This was immediately granted, and we all three entered the gate of 
the palace between two rows of guards, armed and dressed after a very antique 
manner, and something in their countenances that made my flesh creep with a 
horror I cannot express. We passed through several apartments between servants 
of the same sort, ranked on each side as before, till we came to the Chamber 
of Presence, where, after three profound obeisances and a few general 
questions, we were permitted to sit on three stools near the lowest step of 
his Highness's throne. He understood the language of Balnibarbi, although it 
was different from that of his island. He desired me to give him some account 
of my travels, and, to let me see that I should be treated without ceremony, 
he dismissed all his attendants with a turn of his finger, at which, to my 
great astonishment, they vanished in an instant, like visions in a dream, when 
we awake on a sudden. I could not recover myself for some time, till the 
Governor assured me that I should receive no hurt; and, observing my two 
companions to be under no concern, who had been often entertained in the same 
manner, I began to take courage, and related to his Highness a short history 
of my several adventures, yet not without some hesitation, and frequently 
looking behind me to the place where I had seen those domestic spectres. I had 
the honour to dine with the Governor, where a new set of ghosts served up the 
meat and waited at table. I now observed myself to be less terrified than I 
had been in the morning. I stayed till sunset, but humbly desired his Highness 
to excuse me for not accepting his invitation of lodging in the palace. My two 
friends and I lay at a private house in the town adjoining, which is the 
capital of this little island; and the next morning we returned to pay our 
duty to the Governor, as he was pleased to command us.
After this manner we continued in the island for ten days, most part of every 
day with the Governor, and at night in our lodging. I soon grew so 
familiarised to the sight of spirits that, after the third or fourth time, 
they gave me no emotion at all; or, if I had any apprehensions left, my 
curiosity prevailed over them. For his Highness the Governor ordered me to 
call up whatever persons I would choose to name, and in whatever numbers among 
all the dead from the beginning of the world to the present time, and command 
them to answer any questions I should think fit to ask, with this condition -
that my questions must be confined within the compass of the times they lived 
in. And one thing I might depend upon, that they would certainly tell me 
truth, for lying was a talent of no use in the lower world.
I made my humble acknowledgments to his Highness for so great a favour. We 
were in a chamber from whence there was a fair prospect into the park. And 
because my first inclination was to be entertained with scenes of pomp and 
magnificence, I desired to see Alexander the Great at the head of his army 
just after the Battle of Arbela, which, upon the motion of the Governor's 
finger, immediately appeared in a large field under the window where we stood. 
Alexander was called up in the room. It was with great difficulty that I 
understood his Greek, and had but little of my own. He assured me upon his 
honour that he was not poisoned, but died of a fever by excessive drinking.
Next I saw Hannibal passing the Alps, who told me he had not a drop of vinegar 
in his camp.
I saw Caesar and Pompey at the head of their troops just ready to engage. I 
saw the former in his last great triumph. I desired that the Senate of Rome 
might appear before me in one large chamber, and an assembly of somewhat a 
later age in counterview in another. The first seemed to be an assembly of 
heroes and demigods; the other a knot of pedlars, pick-pockets, highwaymen, 
and bullies.
The Governor, at my request, gave the sign for Caesar and Brutus to advance 
towards us. I was struck with a profound veneration at the sight of Brutus, 
and could easily discover the most consummate virtue, the greatest intrepidity 
and firmness of mind, the truest love of his country, and general benevolence 
for mankind in every lineament of his countenance. I observed with much 
pleasure that these two persons were in good intelligence with each other, and 
Caesar freely confessed to me that the greatest actions of his own life were 
not equal by many degrees to the glory of taking it away. I had the honour to 
have much conversation with Brutus, and was told that his ancestors Junius, 
Socrates, Epaminondas, Cato the Younger, Sir Thomas More, and himself, were 
perpetually together, a sextumvirate to which all the ages of the world cannot 
add a seventh.
It would be tedious to trouble the reader with relating what vast numbers of 
illustrious persons were called up to gratify that insatiable desire I had to 
see the world in every period of antiquity placed before me. I chiefly fed 
mine eyes with beholding the destroyers of tyrants and usurpers, and the 
restorers of liberty to oppressed and injured nations. But it is impossible to 
express the satisfaction I received in my own mind after such a manner as to 
make it a suitable entertainment to the reader.


Chapter 24

A further account of Glubbdubdrib. Ancient and modern history corrected.


Having a desire to see those ancients who were most renowned for wit and 
learning, I set apart one day on purpose. I proposed that Homer and Aristotle 
might appear at the head of all their commentators, but these were so numerous 
that some hundreds were forced to attend in the Court and outward rooms of the 
palace. I knew and could distinguish those two heroes at first sight, not only 
from the crowd, but from each other. Homer was the taller and comelier person 
of the two, walked very erect for one of his age, and his eyes were the most 
quick and piercing I ever beheld. Aristotle stooped much, and made use of a 
staff. His visage was meagre, his hair lank and thin, and his voice hollow. I 
soon discovered that both of them were perfect strangers to the rest of the 
company, and had never seen or heard of them before. And I had a whisper from 
a ghost, who shall be nameless, that these commentators always kept in the 
most distant quarters from their principals in the lower world, through a 
consciousness of shame and guilt, because they had so horribly misrepresented 
the meaning of those authors to posterity. I introduced Didymus and Eustathius 
to Homer, and prevailed on him to treat them better than perhaps they 
deserved, for he soon found they wanted a genius to enter into the spirit of a 
poet. But Aristotle was out of all patience with the account I gave him of 
Scotus and Ramus, as I presented them to him, and he asked them whether the 
rest of the tribe were as great dunces as themselves.
I then desired the Governor to call up Descartes and Gassendi, with whom I 
prevailed to explain their systems to Aristotle. This great philosopher freely 
acknowledged his own mistakes in natural philosophy, because he proceeded in 
many things upon conjecture, as all men must do; and he found that Gassendi, 
who had made the doctrine of Epicurus as palatable as he could, and the 
vortices of Descartes were equally exploded. He predicted the same fate to 
attraction, whereof the present learned are such zealous asserters. He said 
that new systems of Nature were but new fashions, which would vary in every 
age; and even those who pretend to demonstrate them from mathematical 
principles would flourish but a short period of time, and be out of vogue when 
that was determined.
I spent five days in conversing with many others of the ancient learned. I saw 
most of the first Roman Emperors. I prevailed on the Governor to call up 
Eliogabalus' cooks to dress us a dinner, but they could not show us much of 
their skill for want of materials. A helot of Agesilaus made us a dish of 
Spartan broth, but I was not able to get down a second spoonful.
The two gentlemen who conducted me to the island were pressed by their private 
affairs to return in three days, which I employed in seeing some of the modern 
dead, who had made the greatest figure for two or three hundred years past in 
our own and other countries of Europe; and having been always a great admirer 
of old illustrious families, I desired the Governor would call up a dozen or 
two of Kings with their ancestors in order for eight or nine generations. But 
my disappointment was grievous and unexpected, for instead of a long train 
with royal diadems, I saw in one family two fiddlers, three spruce courtiers, 
and an Italian prelate. In another a barber, an abbot, and two cardinals. I 
have too great a veneration for crowned heads to dwell any longer on so nice a 
subject. But as to counts, marquesses, dukes, earls, and the like, I was not 
so scrupulous. And I confess it was not without some pleasure that I found 
myself able to trace the particular features by which certain families are 
distinguished up to their originals. I could plainly discover from whence one 
family derives a long chain; why a second has abounded with knaves for two 
generations, and fools for two more; why a third happened to be crack-brained, 
and a fourth to be sharpers; whence it came what Polydore Virgil says of a 
certain great house, "Nec vir fortis, nec foemina casta"; how cruelty, 
falsehood, and cowardice grew to be great characteristics by which certain 
families are distinguished as much as by their coat of arms; who first brought 
the pox into a noble house, which hath lineally descended in scrofulous 
tumours to their posterity. Neither could I wonder at all this, when I saw 
such an interruption of lineages by pages, lackeys, valets, coachmen, 
gamesters, captains, and pick-pockets.
I was chiefly disgusted with modern history. For having strictly examined all 
the persons of greatest name in the Courts of Princes for a hundred years 
past, I found how the world had been misled by prostitute writers to ascribe 
the greatest exploits in war to cowards, the wisest counsel to fools, 
sincerity to flatterers, Roman virtue to betrayers of their country, piety to 
atheists, chastity to sodomites, truth to informers. How many innocent and 
excellent persons had been condemned to death or banishment by the practising 
of great Ministers upon the corruption of judges and the malice of faction! 
How many villains had been exalted to the highest places of trust, power, 
dignity, and profit! How great a share in the motions and events of Courts, 
Councils, and Senates might be challenged by bawds, whores, pimps, parasites, 
and buffoons! How low an opinion I had of human wisdom and integrity when I 
was truly informed of the springs and motives of great enterprises and 
revolutions in the world, and of the contemptible accidents to which they owed 
their success!
Here I discovered the roguery and ignorance of those who pretend to write 
anecdotes, or secret history; who send so many Kings to their graves with a 
cup of poison; will repeat the discourse between Prince and chief Minister, 
where no witness was by; unlock the thoughts and cabinets of Ambassadors and 
Secretaries of State, and have the perpetual misfortune to be mistaken. Here I 
discovered the secret causes of many great events that have surprised the 
world; how a whore can govern the back-stairs, the back-stairs a council, and 
the council a Senate. A General confessed in my presence that he got a victory 
purely by the force of cowardice and ill-conduct, and an Admiral that for want 
of proper intelligence he beat the enemy to whom he intended to betray the 
fleet. Three Kings protested to me that in their whole reigns they did never 
once prefer any person of merit, unless by mistake or treachery of some 
Minister in whom they confided; neither would they do it if they were to live 
again. And they showed with great strength of reason that the royal throne 
could not be supported without corruption, because that positive, confident, 
restive temper which virtue infused into man was a perpetual clog to public 
business.
I had the curiosity to inquire in a particular manner by what method great 
numbers had procured to themselves high titles of honour and prodigious 
estates, and I confined my inquiry to a very modern period. However, without 
grating upon present times, because I would be sure to give no offence even to 
foreigners (for I hope the reader need not be told that I do not in the least 
intend my own country in what I say upon this occasion), a great number of 
persons concerned were called up, and upon a very slight examination 
discovered such a scene of infamy that I cannot reflect upon it without some 
seriousness. Perjury, oppression, subornation, fraud, pandarism, and the like 
infirmities were amongst the most excusable arts they had to mention, and for 
these I gave, as it was reasonable, great allowance. But when some confessed 
they owed their greatness and wealth to sodomy or incest; others to the 
prostituting of their own wives and daughters; others to the betraying their 
country or their Prince; some to poisoning, more to the preventing of justice 
in order to destroy the innocent, I hope I may be pardoned if these 
discoveries inclined me a little to abate of that profound veneration which I 
am naturally apt to pay to persons of high rank who ought to be treated with 
the utmost respect due to their sublime dignity by us their inferiors.
I had often read of some great services done to Princes and States, and 
desired to see the persons by whom those services were performed. Upon inquiry 
I was told that their names were to be found on no record, except a few of 
them whom history hath represented as the vilest rogues and traitors. As to 
the rest, I had never once heard of them. They all appeared with dejected 
looks and in the meanest habit, most of them telling me they died in poverty 
and disgrace, and the rest on a scaffold or a gibbet.
Among the rest there was one person whose case appeared a little singular. He 
had a youth about eighteen years old standing by his side. He told me he had 
for many years been commander of a ship, and in the sea-fight at Actium had 
the good fortune to break through the enemy's great line of battle, sink three 
of their capital ships, and take a fourth, which was the sole cause of 
Anthony's flight and of the victory that ensued; that the youth standing by 
him, his only son, was killed in the action. He added that, upon the 
confidence of some merit, this war being at an end, he went to Rome, and 
solicited at the Court of Augustus to be preferred to a greater ship, whose 
commander had been killed, but without any regard to his pretensions it was 
given to a youth who had never seen the sea, the son of libertina, who waited 
on one of the Emperor's mistresses. Returning back to his own vessel, he was 
charged with neglect of duty, and the ship given to a favourite page of 
Publicola, the Vice-Admiral, whereupon he retired to a poor farm at a great 
distance from Rome, and there ended his life. I was so curious to know the 
truth of this story that I desired Agrippa might be called, who was Admiral in 
that fight. He appeared and confirmed the whole account, but with much more 
advantage to the captain, whose modesty had extenuated or concealed a great 
part of his merit.
I was surprised to find corruption grown so high and so quick in that empire 
by the force of luxury so lately introduced, which made me less wonder at many 
parallel cases in other countries, where vices of all kinds have reigned so 
much longer, and where the whole praise as well as pillage hath been engrossed 
by the chief Commander, who perhaps had the least title to either.
As every person called up made exactly the same appearance he had done in the 
world, it gave me melancholy reflections to observe how much the race of human 
kind was degenerate among us within these hundred years past -how the pox 
under all its consequences and denominations had altered every lineament of an 
English countenance, shortened the size of bodies, unbraced the nerves, 
relaxed the sinews and muscles, introduced a sallow complexion, and rendered 
the flesh loose and rancid.
I descended so low as to desire that some English yeoman of the old stamp 
might be summoned to appear, once so famous for the simplicity of their 
manners, diet and dress, for justice in their dealings, for their true spirit 
of liberty, for their valour and love of their country. Neither could I be 
wholly unmoved after comparing the living with the dead, when I considered how 
all these pure native virtues were prostituted for a piece of money by their 
grandchildren, who in selling their votes and managing at elections have 
acquired every vice and corruption that can possibly be learned in a Court.


Chapter 25

The Author's return to Maldonada. Sails to the kingdom of Luggnagg. The Author 
confined. He is sent for to Court. The manner of his admittance -. he King's 
great lenity to his subjects.


The day of our departure being come, I took leave of his Highness the Governor 
of Glubbdubdrib, and returned with my two companions to Maldonada, where, 
after a fortnight's waiting, a ship was ready to sail for Luggnagg. The two 
gentlemen and some others were so generous and kind as to furnish me with 
provisions, and see me on board. I was a month on this voyage. We had one 
violent storm, and were under a necessity of steering westward to get in to 
the trade-wind which holds for above sixty leagues. On the 21st of April, 
1711, we sailed in the river Clumegnig, which is a seaport town at the south-
east point of Luggnagg. We cast anchor within a league of the town, and made a 
signal for a pilot. Two of them came on board in less than half an hour, by 
whom we were guided between certain shoals and rocks, which are very 
dangerous, in a passage to a large basin, where a fleet may ride in safety 
within a cables length of the town wall.
Some of our sailors, whether out of treachery or inadvertence, had informed 
the pilots that I was a stranger and a great traveller, whereof these gave 
notice to a Custom House officer, by whom I was examined very strictly upon my 
landing. This officer spoke to me in the language of Balnibarbi, which by the 
force of much commerce is generally understood in that town, especially by 
seamen, and those employed in the Customs. I gave him a short account of some 
particulars, and made my story as plausible and consistent as I could; but I 
thought it necessary to disguise my country, and call myself a Hollander, 
because my intentions were for Japan, and I knew the Dutch were the only 
Europeans permitted to enter into that kingdom. I therefore told the officer 
that, having been shipwrecked on the coast of Balnibarbi, and cast on a rock, 
I was received up into Laputa, or the Flying Island (of which he had often 
heard) and was now endeavouring to get to Japan, from whence I might find a 
convenience of returning to my own country. The officer said I must be 
confined till he could receive orders from Court, for which he would write 
immediately, and hoped to receive an answer in a fortnight. I was carried to a 
convenient lodging, with a sentry placed at the door; however, I had the 
liberty of a large garden, and was treated with humanity enough, being 
maintained all the time at the King's charge. I was invited by several 
persons, chiefly out of curiosity, because it was reported that I came from 
countries very remote of which they never heard.
I hired a young man who came in the same ship to be an interpreter; he was a 
native of Luggnagg, but had lived some years at Maldonada, and was a perfect 
master of both languages. By his assistance I was able to hold a conversation 
with those who came to visit me, but this consisted only of their questions 
and my answers.
The despatch came from Court about the time we expected. It contained a 
warrant for conducting me and my retinue to Traldragdubh or Trildrogdrib, for 
it is pronounced both ways as near as I can remember -by a party of ten horse. 
All my retinue was that poor lad for an interpreter, whom I persuaded into my 
service, and at my humble request we had each of us a mule to ride on. A 
messenger was despatched half a day's journey before us to give the King 
notice of my approach, and to desire that his Majesty would please to appoint 
a day and hour when it would be his gracious pleasure that I might have the 
honour to lick the dust before his footstool. This is the Court style, and I 
found it to be more than matter of form. For upon my admittance two days after 
my arrival, I was commanded to crawl on my belly and lick the floor as I 
advanced, but on account of my being a stranger, care was taken to have it 
swept so clean that the dust was not offensive. However, this was a peculiar 
grace, not allowed to any but persons of the highest rank, when they desire an 
admittance -nay, sometimes the floor is strewed with dust on purpose, when the 
person to be admitted happens to have powerful enemies at Court. And I have 
seen a great lord with his mouth so crammed that, when he had crept to the 
proper distance from the throne, he was not able to speak a word. Neither is 
there any remedy, because it is capital for those who receive an audience to 
spit or wipe their mouths in his Majesty's presence. There is, indeed, another 
custom, which I cannot altogether approve of. When the King hath a mind to put 
any of his nobles to death in a gentle, indulgent manner, he commands to have 
the floor strewed with a certain brown powder of a deadly composition, which, 
being licked up, infallibly kills him in twenty-four hours. But in justice to 
this Prince's great clemency, and the care he hath of his subjects' lives 
(wherein it were much to be wished that the monarchs of Europe would imitate 
him) it must be mentioned for his honour that strict orders are given to have 
the infected parts of the floor well washed after every such execution, which, 
if his domestics neglect, they are in danger of incurring his royal 
displeasure. I myself heard him give directions that one of his pages should 
be whipped, whose turn it was to give notice about washing the floor after an 
execution, but maliciously had omitted it, by which neglect a young lord of 
great hopes, coming to an audience, was unfortunately poisoned, although the 
King at that time had no design against his life. But this good Prince was so 
gracious as to forgive the poor page his whipping, upon promise that he would 
do so no more without special orders.
To return from this digression. When I had crept within four yards of the 
throne, I raised myself gently upon my knees, and then, striking my forehead 
seven times on the ground, I pronounced the following words, as they had been 
taught me the night before, "Ickpling gloffthrobb squutserumm blhiop mlashnalt 
zwin tnodbalkguffh slhiophad gurdlubh asht." This is the compliment 
established by the laws of the land for all persons admitted to the King's 
presence. It may be rendered into English, thus: "May your celestial Majesty 
outlive the sun, eleven moons and a half." To this the King returned some 
answer, which, although I could not understand, yet I replied as I had been 
directed: "Fluft drin yalerick dwuldum prastrad mirpush," which properly 
signifies, "My tongue is in the mouth of my friend," and by this expression 
was meant that I desired leave to bring my interpreter; whereupon the young 
man already mentioned was accordingly introduced, by whose intervention I 
answered as many questions as his Majesty could put in above an hour. I spoke 
in the Balnibarbian tongue, and my interpreter delivered my meaning in that of 
Luggnagg.
The King was much delighted with my company, and ordered his Bliffmarklub, or 
High Chamberlain, to appoint a lodging in the Court for me and my interpreter, 
with a daily allowance for my table, and a large purse of gold for my common 
expenses.
I stayed three months in this country out of perfect obedience to his Majesty, 
who was pleased highly to favour me, and made me very honourable offers. But I 
thought it more consistent with prudence and justice to pass the remainder of 
my days with my wife and family.


Chapter 26

The Luggnaggians commended. A particular description of the Struldbruggs, with 
many conversations between the Author and some eminent persons upon that 
subject.


The Luggnaggians are a polite and generous people, and although they are not 
without some share of that pride which is peculiar to all Eastern countries, 
yet they show themselves courteous to strangers, especially such who are 
countenanced by the Court. I had many acquaintances among persons of the best 
fashion, and being always attended by my interpreter, the conversation we had 
was not disagreeable.
One day, in much good company, I was asked by a person of quality whether I 
had seen any of their Struldbruggs, or Immortals. I said I had not, and 
desired he would explain to me what he meant by such an appellation applied to 
a mortal creature. He told me that sometimes, though very rarely, a child 
happened to be born in a family with a red circular spot on the forehead, 
directly over the left eyebrow, which was an infallible mark that it should 
never die. The spot, as he described it, was about the compass of a silver 
threepence, but in the course of time grew larger and changed its colour; for 
at twelve years old it became green, so continued till five-and-twenty, then 
turned to a deep blue; at five-and-forty it grew coal black, and as large as 
an English shilling, but never admitted any further alteration. He said these 
births were so rare that he did not believe there could be above eleven 
hundred Struldbruggs of both sexes in the whole kingdom, of which he computed 
about fifty in the metropolis, and among the rest a young girl born about 
three years ago. That these productions were not peculiar to any family, but a 
mere effect of chance, and the children of the Struldbruggs themselves were 
equally mortal with the rest of the people.
I freely own myself to have been struck with inexpressible delight upon 
hearing this account; and the person who gave it me happening to understand 
the Balnibarbian language, which I spoke very well, I could not forbear 
breaking out into expressions perhaps a little too extravagant. I cried out as 
in a rapture: Happy nation where every child hath at least a chance of being 
immortal! Happy people who enjoy so many living examples of ancient virtue, 
and have masters ready to instruct them in the wisdom of all former ages! But, 
happiest beyond all comparison are those excellent Struldbruggs, who, born 
exempt from that universal calamity of human nature, have their minds free and 
disengaged, without the weight and depression of spirits caused by the 
continual apprehension of death. I discovered my admiration that I had not 
observed any of these illustrious persons at Court, the black spot on the 
forehead being so remarkable a distinction that I could not have easily 
overlooked it; and it was impossible that his Majesty, a most judicious 
Prince, should not provide himself with a good number of such wise and able 
counsellors. Yet perhaps the virtue of those reverend sages was too strict for 
the corrupt and libertine manners of a Court. And we often find by experience 
that young men are too opinionative and volatile to be guided by the sober 
dictates of their seniors. However, since the King was pleased to allow me 
access to his royal person, I was resolved upon the very first occasion to 
deliver my opinion to him on this matter freely, and at large by the help of 
my interpreter; and whether he would please to take my advice or no, yet in 
one thing I was determined, that his Majesty having frequently offered me an 
establishment in this country, I would with great thankfulness accept the 
favour, and pass my life here in the conversation of those superior beings, 
the Struldbruggs, if they would please to admit me.
The gentleman to whom I addressed my discourse, because (as I have already 
observed) he spoke the language of Balnibarbi, said to me with a sort of 
smile, which usually arises from pity to the ignorant, that he was glad of any 
occasion to keep me among them, and desired my permission to explain to the 
company what I had spoke. He did so, and they talked together for some time in 
their own language, whereof i understood not a syllable, neither could I 
observe by their countenances what impression my discourse had made on them. 
After a short silence, the same person told me that his friends and mine (so 
he thought fit to express himself ) were very much pleased with the judicious 
remarks I had made on the great happiness and advantages of immortal life, and 
they were desirous to know in a particular manner what scheme of living I 
should have formed to myself if it had fallen to my lot to have been born a 
Struldbrugg.
I answered it was easy to be eloquent on so copious and delightful a subject, 
especially to me who have been often apt to amuse myself with visions of what 
I should do if I were a King, a general, or a great lord. And upon this very 
case I had frequently run over the whole system, how I should employ myself 
and pass the time if I were sure to live for ever.
That, if it had been my good fortune to come into the world a Struldbrugg, as 
soon as I could discover my own happiness by understanding the difference 
between life and death, I would first resolve by all arts and methods 
whatsoever to procure myself riches. In the pursuit of which, by thrift and 
management, I might reasonably expect in about two hundred years to be the 
wealthiest man in the kingdom. In the second place, I would from my earliest 
youth apply myself to the study of arts and sciences, by which I should arrive 
in time to excel all others in learning. Lastly, I would carefully record 
every action and event of consequence that happened in public, impartially 
draw the characters of the several successions of Princes and great Ministers 
of State, with my own observations on every point. I would exactly set down 
the several changes in customs, languages, fashions, dress, diet, and 
diversions. By all which acquirements I should be a living treasury of 
knowledge and wisdom, and certainly become the oracle of the nation.
I would never marry after threescore, but live in a hospitable manner, yet 
still on the saving side. I would entertain myself in forming and directing 
the minds of hopeful young men, by convincing them from my own remembrance, 
experience, and observation, fortified by numerous examples of the usefulness 
of virtue in public and private life. But my choice and constant companions 
should be a set of my own immortal brotherhood, among whom I would elect a 
dozen from the most ancient down to my own contemporaries. Where any of these 
wanted fortunes I would provide them with convenient lodges round my own 
estate, and have some of them always at my table, only mingling a few of the 
most valuable among you mortals, whom length of time would harden me to lose 
with little or no reluctance, and treat your posterity after the same manner, 
just as a man diverts himself with the annual succession of pinks and tulips 
in his garden, without regretting the loss of those which withered the 
preceding year.
These Struldbruggs and I would mutually communicate our observations and 
memorials through the course of time, remark the several gradations by which 
corruption steals into the world, and oppose it in every step by giving 
perpetual warning and instruction to mankind, which, added to the strong 
influence of our own example, would probably prevent that continual degeneracy 
of human nature so justly complained of in all ages.
Add to all this the pleasure of seeing the various revolutions of State and 
empires, the changes in the lower and upper world, ancient cities in ruins, 
and obscure villages become the seats of Kings; famous rivers lessening into 
shallow brooks, the ocean leaving one coast dry and overwhelming another; the 
discovery of many countries yet unknown; barbarity overrunning the politest 
nations, and the most barbarous become civilised. I should then see the 
discovery of the longitude, the perpetual motion, the universal medicine, and 
many other great inventions brought to the utmost perfection.
What wonderful discoveries should we make in astronomy by outliving and 
confirming our own predictions, by observing the progress and returns of 
comets, with the changes of motion in the sun, moon, and stars.
I enlarged upon many other topics, which the natural desire of endless life 
and sublunary happiness could easily furnish me with. When I had ended, and 
the sum of my discourse had been interpreted as before to the rest of the 
company, there was a good deal of talk among them in the language of the 
country, not without some laughter at my expense. At last the same gentleman 
who had been my interpreter said he was desired by the rest to set me right in 
a few mistakes, which I had fallen into through the common imbecility of human 
nature, and upon that allowance was less answerable for them. That this breed 
of Struldbruggs was peculiar to their country, for there were no such people 
either in Balnibarbi or Japan, where he had the honour to be Ambassador from 
his Majesty, and found the natives in both these kingdoms very hard to believe 
that the fact was possible, and it appeared from my astonishment when he first 
mentioned the matter to me that I received it as a thing wholly new and 
scarcely to be credited. That in the two kingdoms above mentioned, where 
during his residence he had converse very much, he observed long life to be 
the universal desire and wish of mankind. That whoever had one foot in the 
grave was sure to hold back the other as strongly as he could. That the eldest 
had still hopes of living one day longer, and looked on death as the greatest 
evil, from which Nature always prompted him to retreat; only in this island of 
Luggnagg the appetite for living was not so eager, from the continual example 
of the Struldbruggs before their eyes.
That the system of living contrived by me was unreasonable and unjust, because 
it supposed a perpetuity of youth, health, and vigour, which no man could be 
so foolish to hope, however extravagant he may be in his wishes. That the 
question, therefore, was not whether a man would choose to be always in the 
prime of youth, attended with prosperity and health, but how he would pass a 
perpetual life under all the usual disadvantages which old age brings along 
with it. For although few men will avow their desires of being immortal upon 
such hard conditions, yet in the two kingdoms before mentioned of Balnibarbi 
and Japan he observed that every man desired to put off death for some time 
longer, let it approach ever so late, and he rarely heard of any man who died 
willingly, except he were incited by the extremity of grief or torture. And he 
appealed to me whether in those countries I had travelled, as well as my own, 
I had not observed the same general disposition.
After this preface he gave me a particular account of the Struldbruggs among 
them. He said they commonly acted like mortals till about thirty years old, 
after which by degrees they grew melancholy and dejected, increasing in both 
till they came to fourscore. This he learned from their own confession, for, 
otherwise, there not being above two or three of that species born in an age, 
were too few to form a general observation by. When they came to fourscore 
years, which is reckoned the extremity of living in this country, they had not 
only all the follies and infirmities of other old men, but many more which 
arose from the dreadful prospect of never dying. They were not only 
opinionative, peevish, covetous, morose, vain, talkative, but incapable of 
friendship and dead to all natural affection, which never descended below 
their grandchildren. Envy and impotent desires are their prevailing passions. 
But those objects against which their envy seems principally directed, are the 
vices of the younger sort and the deaths of the old. By reflecting on the 
former, they find themselves cut off from all possibility of pleasure; and 
whenever they see a funeral, they lament and repine that others are gone to a 
harbour of rest, to which they themselves never can hope to arrive. They have 
no remembrance of anything but what they learned and observed in their youth 
and middle age, and even that is very imperfect. And for the truth or 
particulars of any fact, it is safer to depend on common traditions than upon 
their best recollections. The least miserable among them appear to be those 
who turn to dotage, and entirely lose their memories; these meet with more 
pity and assistance, because they want many bad qualities which abound in 
others.
If a Struldbrugg happens to marry one of his own kind, the marriage is 
dissolved, of course, by the courtesy of the kingdom as soon as the younger of 
the two come to be fourscore. For the law thinks it a reasonable indulgence 
that those who are condemned without any fault of their own to a perpetual 
continuance in the world should not have their misery doubled by the load of a 
wife.
As soon as they have completed the term of eighty years they are looked on as 
dead in law; their heirs immediately succeed to their estates -only a small 
pittance is reserved for their support, and the poor ones are maintained at 
the public charge. After that period they are held incapable of any employment 
of trust or profit; they cannot purchase lands or take leases, neither are 
they allowed to be witnesses in any cause, either civil or criminal, not even 
for the decision of meres and bounds.
At ninety they lose their teeth and hair; they have at that age no distinction 
of taste, but eat and drink whatever they can get without relish or appetite, 
the diseases they were subject to still continuing without increasing or 
diminishing. In talking they forget the common appellation of things and the 
names of persons, even of those who are their nearest friends and relations. 
For the same reason they never can amuse themselves with reading, because 
their memory will not serve to carry them from the beginning of a sentence to 
the end; and by this defect they are deprived of the only entertainment 
whereof they might otherwise be capable.
The language of this country being always upon the flux, the Struldbruggs of 
one age do not understand those of another, neither are they able after two 
hundred years to hold any conversation (farther than by a few general words) 
with their neighbours the mortals; and thus they lie under the disadvantage of 
living like foreigners in their own country.
This was the account given me of the Struldbruggs as near as I can remember. I 
afterwards saw five or six of different ages, the youngest not above two 
hundred years old, who were brought me at several times by some of my friends; 
but although they were told that I was a great traveller, and had seen all the 
world, they had not the least curiosity to ask me a question, only desired I 
would give them slumskudask, or a token of remembrance, which is a modest way 
of begging, to avoid the law that strictly forbids it, because they are 
provided for by the public, although, indeed, with a very scanty allowance.
They are deprived and hated by all sorts of people. When one of them is born 
it is reckoned ominous, and their birth is recorded very particularly; so that 
you may know their age by consulting the registry, which, however, hath not 
been kept above a thousand years past, or at least hath been destroyed by time 
or public disturbances. But the usual way of computing how old they are is by 
asking them what Kings or great persons they can remember, and then consulting 
history, for infallibly the last Prince in their mind did not begin his reign 
after they were fourscore years old.
They were the most mortifying sight I ever beheld, and the women more horrible 
than the men. Besides the usual deformities in extreme old age, they acquired 
an additional ghastliness in proportion to their number of years, which is not 
to be described, and among half a dozen I soon distinguished which was the 
eldest, although there was not above a century or two between them.
The reader will easily believe that from what I had heard and seen my keen 
appetite for perpetuity of life was much abated. I grew heartily ashamed of 
the pleasing visions I had formed, and thought no tyrant could invent a death 
into which I would not run with pleasure from such a life. The King heard of 
all that had passed between me and my friends upon this occasion, and rallied 
me very pleasantly, wishing I would send a couple of Struldbruggs to my own 
country to arm our people against the fear of death; but this, it seems, is 
forbidden by the fundamental laws of the kingdom, or else I should have been 
well content with the trouble and expense of transporting them.
I could not but agree that the laws of this kingdom relating to the 
Struldbruggs were founded upon the strongest reasons, and such as any other 
country would be under the necessity of enacting in the like circumstances. 
Otherwise, as avarice is the necessary consequence of old age, those immortals 
would in time become proprietors of the whole nation, and engross the civil 
power, which, for want of abilities to manage, must end in the ruin of the 
public.


Chapter 27

The Author leaves Luggnagg and sails to Japan. From thence he returns in a 
Dutch ship to Amsterdam, and from Amsterdam to England.


I thought this account of the Struldbruggs might be some entertainment to the 
reader, because it seems to be a little out of the common way; at least, I do 
not remember to have met the like in any book of travel that has come to my 
hands. And if I am deceived my excuse must be that it is necessary for 
travellers who describe the same country very often to agree in dwelling on 
the same particulars without deserving the censure of having borrowed or 
transcribed from those who wrote before them.
There is, indeed, a perpetual commerce between this kingdom and the great 
empire of Japan, and it is very probable that the Japanese authors may have 
given some account of the Struldbruggs; but my stay in Japan was so short, and 
I was so entirely a stranger to the language, that I was not qualified to make 
any inquiries. But I hope the Dutch, upon this notice, will be curious and 
able enough to supply my defects.
His Majesty, having often pressed me to accept some employment in his Court, 
and finding me absolutely determined to return to my native country, was 
pleased to give me his license to depart, and honoured me with a letter of 
recommendation under his own hand to the Emperor of Japan. He likewise 
presented me with four hundred and forty-four large pieces of gold (this 
nation delighting in even numbers) and a red diamond, which I sold in England 
for eleven hundred pounds.
On the 6th day of May, 1709, I took a solemn leave of his Majesty and all my 
friends. This Prince was so gracious as to order a guard to conduct me to 
Glanguenstald, which is a royal port to the south-west part of the island. In 
six days I found a vessel ready to carry me to Japan, and spent fifteen days 
in the voyage. We landed at a small port-town called Xamoschi, situated on the 
south-east part of Japan; the town lies on the western point, where there is a 
narrow strait leading northward into a long arm of the sea, upon the north-
west part of which Yedo, the metropolis, stands. At landing I showed the 
Custom House officers my letter from the King of Luggnagg to his Imperial 
Majesty. They knew the seal perfectly well; it was as broad as the palm of my 
hand. The impression was a King lifting up a lame beggar from the earth. The 
magistrates of the town, hearing of my letter, received me as a public 
Minister; they provided me with carriages and servants, and bore my charges to 
Yedo, where I was admitted to an audience, and delivered my letter, which was 
opened with great ceremony, and explained to the Emperor by an interpreter, 
who then gave me notice, by his Majesty's order, that I should signify my 
request, and, whatever it were, it should be granted for the sake of his royal 
brother of Luggnagg. This interpreter was a person employed to transact 
affairs with the Hollanders; he soon conjectured by my countenance that I was 
a European, and therefore repeated his Majesty's commands in low Dutch, which 
he spoke perfectly well. I answered (as I had before determined) that I was a 
Dutch merchant shipwrecked in a very remote country, from whence I travelled 
by sea and land to Luggnagg, and then took shipping for Japan, where I knew my 
countrymen often traded, and with some of these I hoped to get an opportunity 
of returning into Europe. I therefore most humbly entreated his royal favour 
to give order that I should be conducted in safety to Nangasac. To this I 
added another petition, that for the sake of my patron, the King of Luggnagg, 
his Majesty would condescend to excuse my performing the ceremony imposed on 
my countrymen of trampling upon the crucifix because I had been thrown into 
his kingdom by my misfortunes without any intention of trading. When this 
latter petition was interpreted to the Emperor he seemed a little surprised, 
and said he believed I was the first of my countrymen who ever made any 
scruple in this point, and that he began to doubt whether I was a real 
Hollander or no, but rather suspected I must be a Christian. However, for the 
reason I had offered, but chiefly to gratify the King of Luggnagg by an 
uncommon mark of his favour, he would comply with the singularity of my 
humour; but the affair must be managed with dexterity, and his officers should 
be commanded to let me pass, as it were, by forgetfulness. For he assured me 
that if the secret should be discovered by my countrymen, the Dutch, they 
would cut my throat in the voyage. I returned my thanks by the interpreter for 
so unusual a favour, and some troops being at that time on their march to 
Nangasac, the commanding officer had orders to convey me safe thither, with 
particular instructions about the business of the crucifix.
On the 9th day of June, 1709, I arrived at Nangasac after a very long and 
troublesome journey. I soon fell into the company of some Dutch sailors 
belonging to the Amboyna of Amsterdam, a stout ship of 450 tons. I had lived 
long in Holland, pursuing my studies at Leyden, and I spoke Dutch well. The 
seamen soon knew from whence I came last; they were curious to inquire into my 
voyages and course of life. I made up a story as short and probable as I 
could, but concealed the greatest part. I knew many persons in Holland. I was 
able to invent names for my parents, whom I pretended to be obscure people in 
the province of Gelderland. I would have given the captain (one Theodorus 
Vangrult) what he pleased to ask for my voyage to Holland; but, understanding 
I was a surgeon, he was contented to take half the usual rate on condition 
that I would serve him in the way of my calling. Before we took shipping I was 
often asked by some of the crew whether I had performed the ceremony above 
mentioned; I evaded the question in general answers that I had satisfied the 
Emperor and Court in all particulars. However, a malicious rogue of a skipper 
went to an officer, and, pointing to me, told him I had not yet trampled on 
the crucifix; but the other, who had received instructions to let me pass, 
gave the rascal twenty strokes on the shoulders with a bamboo, after which I 
was no more troubled with such questions.
Nothing happened worth mentioning in this voyage. We sailed with a fair wind 
to the Cape of Good Hope, where we stayed only to take in fresh water. On the 
10th of April we arrived safe at Amsterdam, having lost only three men by 
sickness in the voyage, and a fourth who fell from the foremast into the sea, 
not far from the coast of Guinea. From Amsterdam I soon after set sail for 
England in a small vessel belonging to that city.
On the 16th of April, 1710, we put in at the Downs. I landed the next morning, 
and saw once more my native country, after an absence of five years and six 
months complete. I went straight to Redriff, where I arrived the same day at 
two in the afternoon, and found my wife and family in good health.


PART 4


A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS



Chapter 28

The Author sets out as a Captain of a ship. His men conspire against him, 
confine him a long time to his cabin, set him on shore in an unknown land. He 
travels up in the country. The Yahoos, a strange sort of animal, described. 
The Author meets two Houyhnhnms.


I continued at home with my wife and children about five months in a very 
happy condition, if I could have learned the lesson of knowing when I was 
well. I left my poor wife, big with child, and accepted an advantageous offer 
made me to be captain of the Adventure, a stout merchantman of 380 tons, for I 
understood navigation well, and being grown weary of a surgeon's employment at 
sea, which, however, I could exercise upon occasion, I took a skilful young 
man of that calling, one Robert Purefoy, into my ship. We set sail from 
Portsmouth upon the 7th day of September, 1710; on the 14th we met with 
Captain Pocock of Bristol, at Teneriffe, who was going to the Bay of Campechy 
to cut logwood. On the 16th he was parted from us by a storm; I heard since my 
return that his ship foundered and none escaped but one cabin boy. He was an 
honest man and a good sailor, but a little too positive in his own opinions, 
which was the cause of his destruction, as it has been of several others. For 
if he had followed my advice he might have been safe at home with his family 
at this time, as well as myself.
I had several men die in my ship of calentures, so that I was forced to get 
recruits out of Barbados and the Leeward Islands, where I touched by the 
direction of the merchants who employed me, which I had soon too much cause to 
repent, for I found afterwards that most of them had been buccaneers. I had 
fifty hands on board, and my orders were that I should trade with the Indians 
in the South Sea, and make what discoveries I could. These rogues whom I had 
picked up debauched my other men, and they all formed a conspiracy to seize 
the ship and secure me, which they did one morning, rushing into my cabin and 
binding me hand and foot, threatening to throw me overboard if I offered to 
stir. I told them I was their prisoner and would submit. This they made me 
swear to do, and then they unbound me, only fastening one of my legs with a 
chain near my bed, and placed a sentry at my door with his piece charged, who 
was commanded to shoot me dead if I attempted my liberty. They sent me down 
victuals and drink, and took the government of the ship to themselves. Their 
design was to turn pirates and plunder the Spaniards, which they could not do 
till they got more men. But first they resolved to sell the goods in the ship, 
and then go to Madagascar for recruits, several among them having died since 
my confinement. They sailed many weeks and traded with the Indians, but I knew 
not what course they took, being kept a close prisoner in my cabin, and 
expecting nothing less than to be murdered, as they often threatened me.
Upon the 9th day of May, 1711, one James Welch came down to my cabin, and said 
he had orders from the captain to set me ashore. I expostulated with him, but 
in vain, neither would he so much as tell me who their new captain was. They 
forced me into the longboat, letting me put on my best suit of clothes, which 
were as good as new, and a small bundle of linen, but no arms except my 
hanger, and they were so civil as not to search my pockets, into which I 
conveyed what money I had, with some other little necessaries. They rowed 
about a league, and then set me down on a strand. I desired them to tell me 
what country it was. They all swore they knew no more than myself, but said 
that the captain (as they called him) was resolved after they had sold the 
lading to get rid of me in the first place where they could discover land. 
They pushed off immediately, advising me to make haste, for fear of being 
overtaken by the tide, and so bade me farewell.
In this desolate condition I advanced forward, and soon got upon firm ground, 
where I sat down on a bank to rest myself, and consider what I had best to do. 
When I was a little refreshed, I went up into the country, resolving to 
deliver myself to the first savages I should meet, and purchase my life from 
them by some bracelets, glass rings, and other toys, which sailors usually 
provide themselves with in those voyages, and whereof i had some about me. The 
land was divided by long rows of trees, not regularly planted, but naturally 
growing; there was great plenty of grass and several fields of oats. I walked 
very circumspectly, for fear of being surprised or suddenly shot with an arrow 
from behind or on either side. I fell into a beaten road where I saw many 
tracks of human feet, and some of cows, but most of horses. At last I beheld 
several animals in a field, and one or two of the same kind sitting in trees. 
Their shape was very singular and deformed, which a little discomposed me, so 
that I lay down behind a thicket to observe them better. Some of them, coming 
forward near the place where I lay, gave me an opportunity of distinctly 
marking their form. Their heads and breasts were covered with a thick hair, 
some frizzled and others lank; they had beards like goats, and a long ridge of 
hair down their backs and the foreparts of their legs and feet, but the rest 
of their bodies were bare, so that I might see their skins, which were of a 
brown buff colour. They had no tails nor any hair at all on their buttocks, 
except about the anus, which, I presume, Nature had placed there to defend 
them as they sat on the ground, for the posture they used, as well as lying 
down, and often stood on their hindfeet. They climbed high trees as nimbly as 
a squirrel, for they had strong extended claws before and behind, terminating 
in sharp points, hooked. They would often spring and bound and leap with 
prodigious agility. The females were not so large as the males; they had long 
lank hair on their faces, nor anything more than a sort of down on the rest of 
their bodies, except about the anus and pudenda. Their dugs hung between their 
forefeet, and often reached almost to the ground as they walked. The hair of 
both sexes was of several colours, brown, red, black, and yellow. Upon the 
whole, I never beheld in all my travels so disagreeable an animal nor one 
against which I naturally conceived so strong an antipathy. So that, thinking 
I had seen enough, full of contempt and aversion, I got up and pursued the 
beaten road, hoping it might direct me to the cabin of some Indian. I had not 
gone far when I met one of these creatures full in my way, and coming up 
directly to me. The ugly monster, when he saw me, distorted several ways every 
feature of his visage, and started as at an object he had never seen before; 
then, approaching nearer, lifted up his forepaw, whether out of curiosity or 
mischief I could not tell. But I drew my hanger and gave him a good blow with 
the flat side of it, for I dare not strike him with the edge, fearing the 
inhabitants might be provoked against me, if they should come to know that I 
had killed or maimed any of their cattle. When the beast felt the smart, he 
drew back, and roared so loud that a herd of at least forty came flocking 
about me from the next field, howling and making odious faces; but I ran to 
the body of a tree, and leaning my back against it, kept them off by waving my 
hanger. Several of this cursed brood, getting hold of the branches behind, 
leapt up in the tree, from whence they began to discharge their excrements on 
my head; however, I escaped pretty well by sticking close to the stem of the 
tree, but was almost stifled with the filth which fell about me on every side.
In the midst of this distress, I observed them all to run away on a sudden as 
fast as they could, at which I ventured to leave the tree and pursue the road, 
wondering what it was that could put them into this fright. But looking on my 
left hand I saw a horse walking softly in the field, which, my persecutors 
having sooner discovered, was the cause of their flight. The horse started a 
little when he came near me, but, soon recovering himself, looked full in my 
face with manifest tokens of wonder; he viewed my hands and feet, walking 
round me several times. I would have pursued my journey, but he placed himself 
directly in the way, yet looking with a very mild aspect, never offering the 
least violence. We stood gazing at each other for some time; at last I took 
the boldness to reach my hand towards his neck with a design to stroke it, 
using the common style and whistle of jockeys when they are going to handle a 
strange horse. But this animal, seeming to receive my civilities with disdain, 
shook his head and bent his brows, softly raising up his right forefoot to 
remove my hand. Then he neighed three or four times, but in so different a 
cadence that I almost began to think he was speaking to himself in some 
language of his own.
While he and I were thus employed, another horse came up, who, applying 
himself to the first in a very formal manner, they gently struck each other's 
right hoof before neighing several times by turns, and varying the sound, 
which seemed to be almost articulate. They went some paces off, as if it were 
to confer together, walking side by side backward and forward like persons 
deliberating upon some affair of weight, but often turning their eyes towards 
me, as it were to watch that I might not escape. I was amazed to see such 
actions and behaviours in brute beasts, and concluded with myself that if the 
inhabitants of this country were endued with a proportionable degree of 
reason, they must needs be the wisest people upon earth. This thought gave me 
so much comfort that I resolved to go forward until I could discover some 
house or village, or meet with any of the natives, leaving the two horses to 
discourse together as they pleased. But the first, who was a dapple-gray, 
observing me to steal off, neighed after me in so expressive a tone I fancied 
myself to understand what he meant; whereupon I turned back and came near him, 
to expect his further commands, but concealing my fear as much as I could, for 
I began to be in some pain how this adventure might terminate; and the reader 
will easily believe I did not much like my present situation.
The two horses came up close to me, looking with great earnestness upon my 
face and hands. The gray steed rubbed my hat all round with his right 
forehoof, and discomposed it so much that I was forced to adjust it better by 
taking it off and settling it again, whereat both he and his companion (who 
was a brown bay) appeared to be much surprised; the latter felt the lappet of 
my coat, and finding it to hang loose about me, they both looked with new 
signs of wonder. He stroked my right hand, seeming to admire the softness and 
colour; but he squeezed it so hard between his hoof and his pastern that I was 
forced to roar, after which they both touched me with all possible tenderness. 
They were under great perplexity about my shoes and stockings, which they felt 
very often, neighing to each other and using various gestures not unlike those 
of a philosopher when he would attempt to solve some new and difficult 
phenomenon.
Upon the whole the behaviour of these animals was so orderly and rational, so 
acute and judicious, that I at last concluded they must needs be magicians, 
who had thus metamorphosed themselves upon some design, and seeing a stranger 
in the way were resolved to divert themselves with him, or perhaps were really 
amazed at the sight of a man so very different in habit, feature, and 
complexion from those who might probably live in so remote a climate. Upon the 
strength of this reasoning I ventured to address them in the following manner: 
Gentlemen, if you be conjurers, as I have good cause to believe, you can 
understand any language; therefore I make bold to let your worships know that 
I am a poor distressed Englishman, driven by misfortunes upon your coast, and 
I entreat one of you to let me ride upon his back, as if he were a real horse, 
to some house or village where I can be relieved, in return of which favour I 
will make you a present of this knife and bracelet (taking them out of my 
pocket). The two creatures stood silent while I spoke, seeming to listen with 
great attention, and when I had ended they neighed frequently towards each 
other, as if they were engaged in serious conversation. I plainly observed 
that their language expressed the passions very well, and their words might 
with little pains be resolved into an alphabet more easily than the Chinese.
I could frequently distinguish the word Yahoo, which was repeated by each of 
them several times, and although it was impossible for me to conjecture what 
it meant, yet while the two horses were busy in conversation I endeavoured to 
practise this word upon my tongue, and as soon as they were silent I boldly 
pronounced Yahoo in a loud voice, imitating at the same time as near as I 
could the neighing of a horse, at which they were both visibly surprised, and 
the gray repeated the same word twice, as if he meant to teach me the right 
accent, wherein I spoke after him as well as I could, and found myself 
perceivably to improve every time, though very far from any degree of 
perfection. Then the bay tried me with a second word, much harder to be 
pronounced, but reducing it to the English orthography may be spelt thus, 
Houyhnhnms. I did not succeed in this so well as in the former, but after two 
or three further trials I had better fortune, and they both appeared amazed at 
my capacity.
After some further discourse, which I then conjectured might relate to me, the 
two friends took their leaves, with the same compliment of striking each 
other's hoof, and the gray made me signs that I should walk before him, 
wherein I thought it prudent to comply till I could find a better director. 
When I offered to slacken my pace he would cry, Hhuun, Hhuun; I guessed his 
meaning, and gave him to understand as well as I could that I was weary, and 
not able to walk faster, upon which he would stand awhile to let me rest.


Chapter 29

The Author conducted by a Houyhnhnm to his house. The house described. The 
Author's reception. The food of the Houyhnhnms. The Author, in distress for 
want of meat, is at last relieved. His manner of feeding in this country.


Having travelled about three miles, we came to a long kind of building made of 
timber, stuck in the ground and wattled across; the roof was low, and covered 
with straw. I now began to be a little comforted, and took out some toys, 
which travellers usually carry for presents to the savage Indians of America 
and other parts, in hopes the people of the house would be thereby encouraged 
to receive me kindly. The horse made me a sign to go in first; it was a large 
room, with a smooth clay floor and a rack and manger extending the whole 
length of one side. There were three nags and two mares, not eating, but some 
of them sitting down upon their hams, which I very much wondered at, but 
wondered more to see the rest employed in domestic business. They seemed but 
ordinary cattle; however, this confirmed my first opinion that a people who 
could so far civilise brute animals must needs excel in wisdom all the nations 
of the world. The gray came in just after, and thereby prevented any ill-
treatment which the others might have given me. He neighed to them several 
times in a style of authority, and received answers.
Beyond this room there were three others reaching the length of the house, to 
which you passed through three doors opposite to each other, in the manner of 
a vista. We went through the second room towards the third; here the gray 
walked in first, beckoning me to attend. I waited in the second room, and got 
ready my presents for the master and mistress of the house; they were two 
knives, three bracelets of false pearl, a small looking-glass, and a bead 
necklace. The horse neighed three or four times, and I waited to hear some 
answers in a human voice, but I observed no other returns than in the same 
dialect, only one or two a little shriller than his. I began to think that 
this house must belong to some person of great note among them, because there 
appeared so much ceremony before I could gain admittance. But that a man of 
quality should be served all by horses was beyond my comprehension. I feared 
my brain was disturbed by my sufferings and misfortunes. I roused myself and 
looked about me in the room where I was left alone; this was furnished like 
the first, only after a more elegant manner. I rubbed my eyes often, but the 
same objects still occurred. I pinched my arms and sides to awake myself, 
hoping I might be in a dream. I then absolutely concluded that all these 
appearances could be nothing else but necromancy and magic. But I had no time 
to pursue these reflections, for the gray horse came to the door and made me a 
sign to follow him into the third room, where I saw a very comely mare, 
together with a colt and foal, sitting up on their haunches upon mats of 
straw, not unartfully made and perfectly neat and clean.
The mare, soon after my entrance, rose from her mat, and coming up close, 
after having nicely observed my hands and face, gave me a most contemptuous 
look; then, turning to the horse, I heard the word Yahoo often repeated 
betwixt them, the meaning of which word I could not then comprehend, although 
it were the first I had learned to pronounce; but I was soon better informed, 
to my everlasting mortification. For the horse, beckoning to me with his head, 
and repeating the word Hhuun, Hhuun, as he did upon the road, which I 
understood was to attend him, led me out into a kind of court, where was 
another building at some distance from the house. Here we entered, and I saw 
three of those detestable creatures whom I first met after my landing feeding 
upon roots and the flesh of some animals which I afterwards found to be that 
of asses and dogs, and now and then a cow dead by accident or disease. They 
were all tied by the neck with strong withes fastened to a beam; they held 
their food between the claws of their forefeet, and tore it with their teeth.
The master horse ordered a sorrel nag, one of his servants, to untie the 
largest of these animals and take him into the yard. The beast and I were 
brought close together, and our countenances diligently compared both by 
master and servant, who thereupon repeated several times the word Yahoo. My 
horror and astonishment are not to be described when I observed in this 
abominable animal a perfect human figure; the face of it, indeed, was flat and 
broad, the nose depressed, the lips large, and the mouth wide. But these 
differences are common to all savage nations, where the lineaments of the 
countenances are distorted by the natives suffering their infants to lie 
grovelling on the earth, or by carrying them on their backs, nestling with 
their face against the mother's shoulders. The forefeet of the Yahoo differed 
from my hands in nothing else but the length of the nails, the coarseness and 
brownness of the palms, and the hairiness on the backs. There was the same 
resemblances between our feet, with the same differences, which I knew very 
well, though the horses did not, because of my shoes and stockings; the same 
in every part of our bodies, except as to hairiness and colour which I have 
already described.
The great difficulty that seemed to stick with the two horses was to see the 
rest of my body so very different from that of a Yahoo, for which I was 
obliged to my clothes, whereof they had no conception. The sorrel nag offered 
me a root, which he held (after their manner, as we shall describe in its 
proper place) between his hoof and pastern; I took it in my hand, and, having 
smelt it, returned it to him again as civilly as I could. He brought out of 
the Yahoo's kennel a piece of ass's flesh, but it smelt so offensively that I 
turned from it with loathing; he then threw it to the Yahoo, by whom it was 
greedily devoured. He afterwards showed me a whisp of hay and a fetlock full 
of oats; but I shook my head, to signify that neither of these were food for 
me. And, indeed, I now apprehended that I must absolutely starve if I did not 
get to some of my own species. For as to those filthy Yahoos, although there 
were few greater lovers of mankind at that time than myself, yet I confess I 
never saw any sensitive being so detestable on all accounts, and the more I 
came near them, the more hateful they grew while I stayed in that country. 
This the master horse observed by my behaviour, and therefore sent the Yahoo 
back to his kennel. He then put his forehoof to his mouth, at which I was much 
surprised, although he did it with ease and with a motion that appeared 
perfectly natural, and made other signs to know what I would eat; but I could 
not return him such an answer as he was able to apprehend, and if he had 
understood me I did not see how it was possible to contrive any way for 
finding myself nourishment. While we were thus engaged, I observed a cow 
passing by, whereupon I pointed to her, and expressed a desire to let me go 
and milk her. This had its effect, for he led me back into the house, and 
ordered a mare-servant to open a room, where a good store of milk lay in 
earthen and wooden vessels after a very orderly and cleanly manner. She gave 
me a large bowl full, of which I drank very heartily, and found myself well 
refreshed.
About noon I saw coming towards the house a kind of vehicle drawn like a 
sledge by four Yahoos. There was in it an old steed who seemed to be of 
quality; he alighted with his hindfeet forward, having by accident got a hurt 
in his left forefoot. He came to dine with our horse, who received him with 
great civility. They dined in the best room, and had oats boiled in milk for 
the second course, which the old horse ate warm, but the rest cold. Their 
mangers were placed circular in the middle of the room and divided into 
several partitions, round which they sat on their haunches upon bosses of 
straw. In the middle was a large rack with angles answering to every partition 
of the manger, so that each horse and mare ate their own hay and their own 
mash of oats and milk with much decency and regularity. The behaviour of the 
young colt and foal appeared very modest, and that of the master and mistress 
extremely cheerful and complaisant to their guest. The gray ordered me to 
stand by him, and much discourse passed between him and his friend concerning 
me, as I found by the strangers often looking on me and the frequent 
repetition of the word Yahoo.
I happened to wear my gloves, which the master gray observing seemed 
perplexed, discovering signs of wonder what I had done to my forefeet; he put 
his hoof three or four times to them, as if he would signify that I should 
reduce them to their former shape, which I presently did, pulling off both my 
gloves and putting them into my pocket. This occasioned further talk, and I 
saw the company was pleased with my behaviour, whereof i soon found the good 
effects. I was ordered to speak the few words I understood, and while they 
were at dinner the master taught me the names for oats, milk, fire, water, and 
some others, which I could readily pronounce after him, having from my youth a 
great facility in learning languages.
When dinner was done the master horse took me aside, and by signs and words 
made me understand the concern that he was in that I had nothing to eat. Oats 
in their tongue are called hlunnh. This word I pronounced two or three times, 
for although I had refused them at first, yet upon second thoughts I 
considered that I could contrive to make of them a kind of bread, which might 
be sufficient with milk to keep me alive till I could make my escape to some 
other country and to creatures of my own species. The horse immediately 
ordered a white mare-servant of his family to bring me a good quantity of oats 
in a sort of wooden tray. These I heated before the fire as well as I could, 
and rubbed them till the husks came off, which I made a shift to winnow from 
the grain. I ground and beat them between two stones, then took water and made 
them into a paste or cake, which I toasted at the fire and ate warm with milk. 
It was at first a very insipid diet, though common enough in many parts of 
Europe, but grew tolerable in time; and having been often reduced to hard fare 
in my life, this was not the first experiment I had made how easily Nature is 
satisfied. And I cannot but observe that I never had one hour's sickness while 
I stayed in this land. 'Tis true I sometimes made a shift to catch a rabbit or 
bird by springs made of Yahoo's hair, and I often gathered wholesome herbs, 
which I boiled or ate as salads with my bread, and now and then for a rarity I 
made a little butter and drank the whey. I was at first at a great loss for 
salt, but custom soon reconciled the want of it; and I am confident that the 
frequent use of salt among us is an effect of luxury, and was first introduced 
only as a provocative to drink, except where it is necessary for preserving of 
flesh in long voyages, or in places remote from great markets. For we observe 
no animal to be fond of it but man. And as to myself, when I left this country 
it was a great while before I could endure the taste of it in anything that I 
ate.
This is enough to say upon the subject of my diet, wherewith other travellers 
fill their books, as if the readers were personally concerned, whether we fare 
well or ill. However, it was necessary to mention this matter, lest the world 
should think it impossible that I could find sustenance for three years in 
such a country and among such inhabitants.
When it grew towards evening the master horse ordered a place for me to lodge 
in; it was but six yards from the house, and separated from the stable of the 
Yahoos. Here I got some straw, and, covering myself with my own clothes, slept 
very sound. But I was in a short time better accommodated, as the reader shall 
know hereafter when I come to treat more particularly about my way of living.


Chapter 30

The Author studious to learn the language; the Houyhnhnm, his master, assists 
in teaching him. The language described. Several Houyhnhnms of quality come 
out of curiosity to see the Author. He gives his master a short account of his 
voyage.


My principal endeavour was to learn the language which my master (for so I 
shall henceforth call him) and his children and every servant of his house 
were desirous to teach me, for they looked upon it as a prodigy that a brute 
animal should discover such marks of a rational creature. I pointed to every 
thing and inquired the name of it, which I wrote down in my Journal Book when 
I was alone, and corrected my bad accent by desiring those of the family to 
pronounce it often. In this employment a sorrel nag, one of the underservants, 
was very ready to assist me.
In speaking they pronounce through the nose and throat, and their language 
approaches nearest to the high Dutch or German of any I know in Europe, but is 
much more graceful and significant. The Emperor Charles V. made almost the 
same observation when he said that if he were to speak to his horse it should 
be in high Dutch.
The curiosity and impatience of my master was so great that he spent many 
hours of his leisure to instruct me. He was convinced (as he afterwards told 
me) that I must be a Yahoo, but my teachableness, civility, and cleanliness 
astonished him, which were qualities altogether so opposite to those animals; 
he was most perplexed about my clothes reasoning sometimes with himself 
whether they were a part of my body, for I never pulled them off till the 
family were asleep, and got them on before they woke in the morning. My master 
was eager to learn from whence I came, how I acquired those appearances of 
reason which I discovered in all my actions, and to know my story from my own 
mouth, which he hoped he should soon do by the great proficiency I made in 
learning and pronouncing their words and sentences. To help my memory I formed 
all I learned into the English alphabet, and wrote the words down with the 
translations. This last, after some time, I ventured to do in my master's 
presence. It cost me much trouble to explain to him what I was doing, for the 
inhabitants have not the least idea of books and literature.
In about ten weeks' time I was able to understand most of his questions, and 
in three months could give him some tolerable answers. He was extremely 
curious to know from what part of the country I came, and how I was taught to 
imitate a rational creature, because the Yahoos (whom he saw I exactly 
resembled in my head, hands, and face, that were only visible), with some 
appearance of cunning and the strongest disposition to mischief, were observed 
to be the most unteachable of all brutes. I answered that I came over the sea 
from a far place, with many others of my own kind, in a great hollow vessel 
made of the bodies of trees; that my companions forced me to land on this 
coast, and then left me to shift for myself. It was with some difficulty, and 
by the help of many signs, that I brought him to understand me. He replied 
that I must needs be mistaken, or that I said the thing which was not, for 
they have no word in their language to express lying or falsehood. He knew it 
was impossible that there could be a country beyond the sea, or that a parcel 
of brutes could move a wooden vessel whither they pleased upon water. He was 
sure no Houyhnhnm alive could make such a vessel, nor would trust Yahoos to 
manage it.
The word Houyhnhnm in their tongue signifies a horse, and in its etymology the 
perfection of Nature. I told my master that I was at a loss for expression, 
but would improve as fast as I could, and hoped in a short time I should be 
able to tell him wonders. He was pleased to direct his own mare, his colt and 
foal, and the servants of the family to take all opportunities of instructing 
me, and every day for two or three hours he was at the same pains himself. 
Several horses and mares of quality in the neighbourhood came often to our 
house upon the report spread of a wonderful Yahoo that could speak like a 
Houyhnhnm, and seemed in his words and actions to discover some glimmerings of 
reason. These delighted to converse with me; they put many questions, and 
received such answers as I was able to return. By all these advantages I made 
so great a progress that in five months from my arrival I understood whatever 
was spoke and could express myself tolerably well.
The Houyhnhnms who came to visit my master, out of a design of seeing and 
talking with me, could hardly believe me to be a right Yahoo, because my body 
had a different covering from others of my kind. They were astonished to 
observe me without the usual hair or skin, except on my head, face, and hands; 
but I discovered that secret to my master upon an accident which happened a 
fortnight before.
I have already told the reader that every night when the family were gone to 
bed it was my custom to strip and cover myself with my clothes. It happened 
one morning early that my master sent for me by the sorrel nag, who was his 
valet; when he came I was fast asleep, my clothes fallen off on one side and 
my shirt above my waist. I awoke at the noise he made, and observed him to 
deliver his message in some disorder, after which he went to my master, and in 
a great fright gave him a very confused account of what he had seen. This I 
presently discovered, for going as soon as I was dressed to pay my attendance 
upon his Honour, he asked me the meaning of what his servant had reported, 
that I was not the same thing when I slept as I appeared to be at other times; 
that his valet assured him some part of me was white, some yellow -at least, 
not so white -and some brown.
I had hitherto concealed the secret of my dress in order to distinguish myself 
as much as I could from the cursed race of Yahoos, but now I found it in vain 
to do so any longer; besides, I considered that my clothes and shoes would 
soon wear out, which already were in a declining condition, and must be 
supplied by some contrivance from the hides of Yahoos or other brutes, whereby 
the whole secret would be known. I therefore told my master that in the 
country from whence I came those of my kind always covered their bodies with 
the hairs of certain animals prepared by art, as well for decency as to avoid 
the inclemencies of air both hot and cold, of which, as to my own person, I 
would give him immediate conviction if he pleased to command me, only desiring 
his excuse if I did not expose those parts that Nature taught us to conceal. 
He said my discourse was all very strange, but especially the last part, for 
he could not understand why Nature should teach us to conceal what Nature had 
given, that neither himself nor family were ashamed of any parts of their 
bodies; but, however, I might do as I pleased. Whereupon I first unbuttoned my 
coat and pulled it off. I did the same with my waistcoat; I drew off my shoes, 
stockings, and breeches. I let my shirt down to my waist and drew up the 
bottom, fastening it like a girdle about my middle to hide my nakedness.
My master observed the whole performance with great signs of curiosity and 
admiration. He took up all my clothes in his pastern, one piece after another, 
and examined them diligently; he then stroked my body very gently, and looked 
round me several times, after which he said it was plain I must be a perfect 
Yahoo, but that I differed very much from the rest of my species in the 
softness and whiteness and smoothness of my skin, my want of hair in several 
parts of my body, the shape and shortness of my claws behind and before, and 
my affectation of walking continually on my two hinder-feet. He desired to see 
no more, and gave me leave to put on my clothes again, for I was shuddering 
with cold.
I expressed my uneasiness at his giving me so often the appellation of Yahoo, 
an odious animal, for which I had so utter an hatred and contempt; I begged he 
would forbear applying that word to me, and take the same order in his family 
and among his friends whom he suffered to see me. I requested likewise that 
the secret of having a false covering to my body might be known to none but 
himself -at least, as long as my present clothing should last -for as to what 
the sorrel nag his valet had observed, his Honour might command him to conceal 
it.

All this my master very graciously consented to, and thus the secret was kept 
till my clothes began to wear out, which I was forced to supply by several 
contrivances that shall hereafter be mentioned. In the meantime, he desired I 
would go on with my utmost diligence to learn their language, because he was 
more astonished at my capacity for speech and reason than at the figure of my 
body, whether it were covered or no, adding that he waited with some 
impatience to hear the wonders which I promised to tell him.
From thenceforward he doubled the pains he had been at to instruct me; he 
brought me into all company, and made them treat me with civility, because, as 
he told them privately, this would put me into good humour, and make me more 
diverting.
Every day when I waited on him, beside the trouble he was at in teaching, he 
would ask me several questions concerning myself, which I answered as well as 
I could, and by these means he had already received some general ideas, though 
very imperfect. It would be tedious to relate the several steps by which I 
advanced to a more regular conversation, but the first account I gave of 
myself in any order and length was to this purpose:
That I came from a very far country, as I had already attempted to tell him, 
with about fifty more of my own species; that we travelled upon the seas in a 
great hollow vessel made of wood, and larger than his Honour's house -I 
described the ship to him in the best terms I could, and explained by the help 
of my handkerchief displayed how it was driven forward by the wind -that upon 
a quarrel among us I was set on shore on this coast, where I walked forward 
without knowing whither, till he delivered me from the persecution of those 
execrable Yahoos. He asked me who made the ship, and how it was possible that 
the Houyhnhnms of my country could leave it to the management of brutes. My 
answer was that I durst proceed no farther in my relation unless he would give 
me his word and honour that he would not be offended, and then I would tell 
him the wonders I had so often promised. He agreed, and I went on by assuring 
him that the ship was made by creatures like myself, who in all the countries 
I had travelled, as well as in my own, were the only governing rational 
animals, and that upon my arrival hither I was as much astonished to see the 
Houyhnhnms act like rational beings as he or his friends could be in finding 
some marks of reason in a creature he was pleased to call a Yahoo, to which I 
owned my resemblance in every part, but could not account for their degenerate 
and brutal nature. I said, further, that if good fortune ever restored me to 
my native country, to relate my travels hither, as I resolved to do, everybody 
would believe that I said the thing which was not, that I invented the story 
out of my own head; and with all possible respect to himself, his family, and 
friends, and under his promise of not being offended, our countrymen would 
hardly think it probable that a Houyhnhnm should be the presiding creature of 
a nation and a Yahoo the brute.


Chapter 31

The Houyhnhnm's notion of truth and falsehood. The Author's discourse 
disapproved by his master. The Author gives a more particular account of 
himself and the accidents of his voyage.


My master heard me with great appearances of uneasiness in his countenance, 
because doubting or not believing are so little known in this country that the 
inhabitants cannot tell how to behave themselves under such circumstances. And 
I remember in frequent discourses with my master concerning the nature of 
manhood in other parts of the world, having occasion to talk of lying and 
false representation, it was with much difficulty that he comprehended what I 
meant, although he had otherwise a most acute judgment, for he argued thus; 
That the use of speech was to make us understand one another and to receive 
information of facts; now if anyone said the thing which was not, those ends 
were defeated, because I cannot properly be said to understand him, and I am 
so far from receiving information that he leaves me worse than in ignorance, 
for I am led to believe a thing black when it is white, and short when it is 
long. And these were all the notions he had concerning that faculty of lying 
so perfectly well understood among human creatures.
To return from this digression. When I asserted that the Yahoos were the only 
governing animals in my country, which my master said was altogether past his 
conception, he desired to know whether we had Houyhnhnms among us, and what 
was their employment. I told him we had great numbers, that in summer they 
grazed in the fields, and in winter were kept in houses with hay and oats, 
when Yahoo servants were employed to rub their skins smooth, comb their manes, 
pick their feet, serve them with food, and make their beds. I understand you 
well, said my master; it is now very plain, from all you have spoken, that 
whatever share of reason the Yahoos pretended to the Houyhnhnms are your 
masters; I heartily wish our Yahoos would be so tractable. I begged his Honour 
would please to excuse me from proceeding any further, because I was very 
certain that the account he expected from me would be highly displeasing. But 
he insisted in commanding me to let him know the best and the worst; I told 
him he should be obeyed. I owned that the Houyhnhnms among us, whom we called 
horses, were the most generous and comely animals we had, that they excelled 
in strength and swiftness, and when they belonged to persons of quality, 
employed in travelling, racing, or drawing chariots, they were treated with 
much kindness and care till they fell into diseases, or became foundered in 
the feet, and then they were sold, and used to all kind of drudgery till they 
died, after which their skins were stripped and sold for what they were worth, 
and their bodies left to be devoured by dogs and birds of prey. But the common 
race of horses had not so good fortune, being kept by farmers and carriers and 
other mean people, who put them to greater labour and feed them worse. I 
described as well as I could our way of riding, the shape and use of a bridle, 
a saddle, a spur, and a whip, of harness and wheels. I added that we fastened 
plates of a certain hard substance called iron at the bottom of their feet, to 
preserve their hoofs, from being broken by the stony ways on which we often 
travelled.
My master, after some expression of great indignation, wondered how we dared 
to venture upon a Houyhnhnm's back, for he was sure that the meanest servant 
in his house would be able to shake off the strongest Yahoo, or, by lying down 
and rolling on his back, squeeze the brute to death. I answered that our 
horses were trained up from three or four years old to the several uses we 
intended them for; that if any of them proved intolerably vicious, they were 
employed for carriages; that they were severely beaten while they were young 
for any mischievous tricks; that the males designed for common use of riding 
or draught were generally castrated about two years after their birth, to take 
down their spirits and make them more tame and gentle; that they were indeed 
sensible of rewards and punishments; but his Honour would please to consider 
that they had not the least tincture of reason any more than the Yahoos in 
this country.
It put me to the pains of many circumlocutions to give my master a right idea 
of what I spoke, for their language doth not abound in variety of words, 
because their wants and passions are fewer than among us. But it is impossible 
to repeat his noble resentment at our savage treatment of the Houyhnhnm race, 
particularly after I had explained the manner and use of castrating horses 
among us, to hinder them from propagating their kind and to render them more 
servile. He said if it were possible there could be any country where Yahoos 
alone were endued with reason, they certainly must be the governing animal, 
because reason will in time always prevail against brutal strength. But, 
considering the frame of our bodies, and especially of mine, he thought no 
creature of equal bulk was so ill-contrived for employing that reason in the 
common office of life; whereupon he desired to know whether those among whom I 
lived resembled me or the Yahoos of his country. I assured him that I was as 
well shaped as most of my age, but the younger and the females were much more 
soft and tender, and the skins of the latter generally as white as milk. He 
said I differed, indeed, from other Yahoos, being much more cleanly and not 
altogether so deformed, but in point of real advantage he thought I differed 
for the worse. That my nails were of no use either to my fore or hinder-feet. 
As to my forefeet, he could not properly call them by that name, for he never 
observed me to walk upon them; that they were too soft to bear the ground; 
that I generally went with them uncovered, neither was the covering I 
sometimes wore on them of the same shape, or so strong as that on my feet 
behind; that I could not walk with any security, for if either of my hinder-
feet slipped I must inevitably fall. He then began to find fault with other 
parts of my body, the flatness of my face, the prominence of my nose, mine 
eyes placed directly in the front, so that I could not look on either side 
without turning my head, that I was not able to feed myself without lifting my 
forefeet to my mouth, and, therefore, Nature had placed those joints to answer 
that necessity. He knew not what could be the use of those several clefts and 
divisions in my feet behind; that these were too soft to bear the hardness and 
sharpness of stones without a covering made from the skin of some other brute; 
that my whole body wanted a fence against heat and cold, which I was forced to 
put on and off every day with tediousness and trouble; and, lastly, that he 
observed every animal in this country naturally to abhor the Yahoos, whom the 
weaker avoided and the stronger drove from them. So that, supposing us to have 
the gift of reason, he could not see how it were possible to cure that natural 
antipathy which every creature discovered against us, nor, consequently, how 
we could tame and render them serviceable. However, he would (as he said) 
debate the matter no further, because he was more desirous to know my own 
story, the country where I was born, and the several actions and events of my 
life before I came thither.
I assured him how extremely desirous I was that he should be satisfied on 
every point, but I doubted much whether it would be possible for me to explain 
myself on several subjects whereof his Honour could have no conception, 
because I saw nothing in his country to which I could resemble them; that, 
however, I would do my best and strive to express myself by similitudes, 
humbly desiring his assistance when I wanted proper words, which he was 
pleased to promise me.
I said my birth was of honest parents in an island called England, which was 
remote from this country, as many days' journey as the strongest of his 
Honour's servants could travel in the annual course of the sun; that I was 
bred a surgeon, whose trade is to cure wounds and hurts in the body got by 
accident or violence; that my country was governed by a female man, whom we 
called Queen; that I left it to get riches, whereby I might maintain myself 
and family when I should return; that in my last voyage I was commander of the 
ship and had about fifty Yahoos under me, many of which died at sea, and I was 
forced to supply them by others picked out from several nations; that our ship 
was twice in danger of being sunk, the first time by a great storm, and the 
second by striking against a rock. Here my master interposed by asking me how 
I could persuade strangers out of different countries to venture with me after 
the losses I had sustained and the hazards I had run. I said they were fellows 
of desperate fortunes forced to fly from the places of their birth on account 
of their poverty or their crimes. Some were undone by lawsuits; others spent 
all they had in drinking, whoring, and gaming; others fled for treason, many 
for murder, theft, poisoning, robbery, perjury, forgery, coining false money, 
for committing rapes or sodomy, for flying from their colours or deserting to 
the enemy, and most of them had broken prison; none of these durst return to 
their native countries for fear of being hanged or of starving in a gaol, and 
therefore were under a necessity of seeking a livelihood in other places.
During this discourse my master was pleased to interrupt me several times. I 
had made use of many circumlocutions in describing to him the nature of the 
several crimes for which most of our crew had been forced to fly their 
country. This labour took up several days' conversation before he was able to 
comprehend me. He was wholly at a loss to know what could be the use or 
necessity of practising those vices. To clear up which I endeavoured to give 
him some ideas of the desire of power and riches, of the terrible effects of 
lust, intemperance, malice, and envy. All this I was forced to define and 
describe by putting of cases and making of suppositions, after which, like one 
whose imagination was struck with something never seen or heard of before, he 
would lift up his eyes with amazement and indignation. Power, government, war, 
law, punishment, and a thousand other things had no terms wherein that 
language could express them, which made the difficulty almost insuperable to 
give my master any conception of what I meant. But being of an excellent 
understanding, much improved by contemplation and converse, he at last arrived 
at a competent knowledge of what human nature in our parts of the world is 
capable to perform, and desired I would give him some particular account of 
that land which we call Europe, but especially of my own country.


Chapter 32

The Author, at his master's command, informs him of the state of England. The 
causes of war among the Princes of Europe. The Author begins to explain the 
English Constitution.


The reader may please to observe that the following extract of many 
conversations I had with my master contains a summary of the most material 
points of which we discoursed at several times for above two years, his Honour 
often desiring fuller satisfaction as I further improved in the Houyhnhnm 
tongue. I laid before him, as well as I could the whole state of Europe; I 
discoursed of trade and manufactures, of arts and sciences, and the answers I 
gave to all the questions he made, as they arose upon several subjects, were a 
fund of conversation not to be exhausted. But I shall here only set down the 
substance of what passed between us concerning my own country, reducing it 
into order as well as I can, without any regard to time or other 
circumstances, while I strictly adhere to truth. My only concern is that I 
shall hardly be able to do justice to my master's arguments and expressions, 
which must needs suffer by my want of capacity as well as by a translation 
into our barbarous English.
In obedience, therefore, to his Honour's commands, I related to him the 
Revolution under the Prince of Orange, the long war with France entered into 
by the said Prince and renewed by his successor, the present Queen, wherein 
the greatest powers of Christendom were engaged, and which still continued; I 
computed, at his request, that about a million of Yahoos might have been 
killed in the whole progress of it, and perhaps a hundred or more cities 
taken, and thrice as many ships burnt or sunk.
He asked me what were the usual causes or motives that made one country go to 
war with another. I answered they were innumerable, but I should only mention 
a few of the chief. Sometimes the ambition of Princes, who never think they 
have land or people enough to govern; sometimes the corruption of Ministers, 
who engage their master in a war in order to stifle or divert the clamour of 
the subjects against their evil administration. Difference in opinions hath 
cost many millions of lives -for instance, whether flesh be bread or bread be 
flesh; whether the juice of a certain berry be blood or wine; whether 
whistling be a vice or a virtue; whether it be better to kiss a post or throw 
it into the fire; what is the best colour for a coat -whether black, white, 
red or gray; and whether it should be long or short, narrow or wide, dirty or 
clean, with many more. Neither are any wars so furious and bloody, or of so 
long continuance, as those occasioned by difference of opinion, especially if 
it be in things indifferent.
Sometimes the quarrel between two Princes is to decide which of them shall 
dispossess a third of his dominions, where neither of them pretend to any 
right. Sometimes one Prince quarrels with another for fear the other should 
quarrel with him. Sometimes a war is entered upon because the enemy is too 
strong, and sometimes because he is too weak. Sometimes our neighbours want 
the things which we have or have the things which we want, and we both fight 
till they take ours or give us theirs. It is a very justifiable cause of war 
to invade a country after the people have been wasted by famine, destroyed by 
pestilence, or embroiled by factions among themselves. It is justifiable to 
enter into war against our nearest ally when one of his towns lies convenient 
for us, or a territory of land that would render our dominions round and 
complete. If a Prince sends forces into a nation where the people are poor and 
ignorant, he may lawfully put half of them to death, and make slaves of the 
rest, in order to civilise and reduce them from their barbarous way of living. 
It is a very kingly, honourable, and frequent practice, when one Prince 
desires the assistance of another to secure him against an invasion, that the 
assistant, when he hath driven out the invader, should seize on the dominions 
himself, and kill, imprison, or banish the Prince he came to relieve. Alliance 
by blood or marriage is a frequent cause of war between Princes, and the 
nearer the kindred is, the greater is their disposition to quarrel. Poor 
nations are hungry, and rich nations are proud, and pride and hunger will ever 
be at variance. For those reasons the trade of a soldier is held the most 
honourable of all others, because a soldier is a Yahoo hired to kill in cold 
blood as many of his own species who have never offended him as possibly he can.
There are likewise another kind of Princes in Europe, not able to make war by 
themselves, who hire out their troops to richer nations for so much a day to 
each man, of which they keep three-fourths to themselves, and it is the best 
part of their maintenance; such are those in many northern parts of Europe.
What you have told me (said my master) upon the subject of war does indeed 
discover most admirably the effects of that reason you pretend to; however, it 
is happy that the shame is greater than the danger, and that Nature has left 
you utterly incapable of doing much mischief.
For your mouths lying flat with your faces, you can hardly bite each other to 
any purpose, unless by consent. Then as to the claws upon your feet, before 
and behind, they are so short and tender that one of our Yahoos, would drive a 
dozen of yours before him. And, therefore, in recounting the numbers of those 
who have been killed in battle, I cannot but think that you have said the 
thing that is not.
I could not forbear shaking my head and smiling a little at his ignorance. And 
being no stranger to the art of war, I gave him a description of cannons, 
culverins, muskets, carbines, pistols, bullets, powder, swords, bayonets, 
sieges, retreats, attacks, undermines, countermines, bombardments, sea-fights, 
ships sunk with a thousand men, twenty-thousand killed on each side; dying 
groans, limbs flying in the air, smoke, noise, confusion, trampling to death 
under horses' feet; flight, pursuit, victory; fields strewed with carcasses 
left for food to dogs, and wolves, and birds of prey; plundering, stripping, 
ravishing, burning, and destroying. And to set forth the valour of my own dear 
countrymen I assured him that I had seen them blow up a hundred enemies at 
once in a siege, and as many in a ship, and beheld the dead bodies come down 
in pieces from the clouds, to the great diversion of the spectators.
I was going on to more particulars, when my master commanded me silence. He 
said whoever understood the nature of Yahoos might easily believe it possible 
for so vile an animal to be capable of every action I had named if their 
strength and cunning equalled their malice. But as my discourse had increased 
his abhorrence of the whole species, so he found it gave him a disturbance in 
his mind, to which he was wholly a stranger before. He thought his ears, being 
used to such abominable words, might by degrees admit them with less 
detestation; that although he hated the Yahoos of this country, yet he no more 
blamed them for their odious qualities than he did a gnnayh (a bird of prey) 
for its cruelty or a sharp stone for cutting my hoof. But when a creature 
pretending to reason could be capable of such enormities, he dreaded lest the 
corruption of that faculty might be worse than brutality itself. He seemed, 
therefore, confident that instead of reason we were only possessed of some 
quality fitted to increase our natural vices, as the reflection from a 
troubled stream returns the image of an ill-shapen body, not only larger, but 
more distorted.
He added that he had heard too much upon the subject of war, both in this and 
some former discourses. There was another point which a little perplexed him 
at present. I had informed him that some of our crew left their country on 
account of being ruined by law; that I had already explained the meaning of 
the word; but he was at a loss how it should come to pass that the law which 
was intended for every man's preservation should be any man's ruin. Therefore, 
he desired to be further satisfied what I meant by law, and the dispensers 
thereof, according to the present practice in my own country, because he 
thought nature and reason were sufficient guides for a reasonable animal, as 
we pretended to be, in showing us what we ought to do and what to avoid.
I assured his Honour that law was a science wherein I had not much conversed, 
further than my employing advocates in vain upon some injustices that had been 
done me; however, I would give him all the satisfaction I was able.
I said there was a society of men among us bred up from their youth in the art 
of proving by words multiplied for the purpose that white is black and black 
is white, according as they are paid. To this society all the rest of the 
people are slaves. For example, if my neighbour has a mind to my cow, he hires 
a lawyer to prove that he ought to have my cow from me. I must then hire 
another to defend my right, it being against all rules of law that any man 
should be allowed to speak for himself. Now, in this case I, who am the right 
owner, lie under two great disadvantages. First, my lawyer, being practised 
almost from his cradle in defending falsehood, is quite out of his element 
when he would be an advocate for justice, which, as an office unnatural, he 
always attempts with great awkwardness, if not with ill-will. The second 
disadvantage is that my lawyer must proceed with great caution, or else he 
will be reprimanded by the judges and abhorred by his brethren as one that 
would lessen the practice of the law. And, therefore, I have but two methods 
to preserve my cow. The first is to gain over my adversary's lawyer with a 
double fee, who will then betray his client by insinuating that he has justice 
on his side. The second way is for my lawyer to make my cause appear as unjust 
as he can by allowing the cow to belong to my adversary; and this, if it be 
skilfully done, will certainly bespeak the favour of the bench.
Now, your Honour is to know that these judges are persons appointed to decide 
all controversies of property as well as for the trial of criminals, and 
picked out from the most dexterous lawyers, who are grown old or lazy, and 
having been biassed all their lives against truth and equity are under such a 
fatal necessity of favouring fraud, perjury, and oppression that I have known 
several of them refuse a large bribe from the side where justice lay rather 
than injure the faculty by doing anything unbecoming their nature or their 
office.
It is a maxim among these lawyers that whatever has been done before may 
legally be done again, and therefore they take special care to record all the 
decisions formerly made against common justice and the general reason of 
mankind. These, under the name of precedents, they produce as authorities to 
justify the most iniquitous opinions, and the judges never fail of directing 
accordingly.
In pleading they studiously avoid entering into the merits of the cause, but 
are loud, violent, and tedious in dwelling upon all circumstances which are 
not to the purpose. For instance, in the case already mentioned, they never 
desire to know what claim or title my adversary has to my cow, but whether the 
said cow were red or black, her horns long or short; whether the field I graze 
her in be round or square; whether she was milked at home or abroad; what 
diseases she is subject to, and the like; after which they consult precedents, 
adjourn the cause from time to time, and in ten, twenty, or thirty years come 
to an issue.
It is likewise to be observed that this society has a peculiar cant and jargon 
of their own that no other mortal can understand, and wherein all their laws 
are written, which they take special care to multiply; whereby they have 
wholly confounded the very essence of truth and falsehood, of right and wrong. 
So that it will take thirty years to decide whether the field left me by my 
ancestors for six generations belong to me or to a stranger three hundred 
miles off.
In the trial of persons accused for crimes against the State the method is 
much more short and commendable; the judge first sends to sound the 
disposition of those in power, after which he can easily hang or save the 
criminal, strictly preserving all due forms of law.
Here my master, interposing, said it was a pity that creatures endowed with 
such prodigious abilities of mind as these lawyers, by the description I gave 
of them, must certainly be, were not rather encouraged to be instructors of 
others in wisdom and knowledge. In answer to which I assured his Honour that 
in all points out of their own trade they were usually the most ignorant and 
stupid generation among us, the most despicable in common conversation, avowed 
enemies to all knowledge and learning, and equally disposed to pervert the 
general reason of mankind in every other subject of discourse as in that of 
their own profession.


Chapter 33

A continuation of the state of England, so well governed by a Queen as to need 
no first Minister. The character of such a one in some European Courts.


My master was yet wholly at a loss to understand what motives could incite 
this race of lawyers to perplex, disquiet, and weary themselves, and engage in 
a confederacy of injustice merely for the sake of injuring their fellow 
animals, neither could he comprehend what I meant in saying they did it for 
hire. Whereupon I was at much pains to describe to him the use of money, the 
materials it was made of, and the value of the metals, that when a Yahoo had 
got a great store of this precious substance he was able to purchase whatever 
he had a mind to, the finest clothing, the noblest houses, great tracts of 
land, the most costly meats and drinks, and have his choice of the most 
beautiful females. Therefore, since money alone was able to perform all these 
feats, our Yahoos thought they could never have enough of it to spend or to 
save, as they found themselves inclined from their natural bent either to 
profusion or avarice. That the rich man enjoyed the fruit of the poor man's 
labour, and the latter were a thousand to one in proportion to the former. 
That the bulk of our people were forced to live miserably, by labouring every 
day for small wages to make a few live plentifully. I enlarged myself much on 
these and many other particulars to the same purpose; but his Honour was still 
to seek, for he went upon a supposition that all animals had a title to their 
share in the productions of the earth, and especially those who presided over 
the rest. Therefore he desired I would let him know what these costly meats 
were, and how any of us happened to want them. Whereupon I enumerated as many 
sorts as came into my head, with the various methods of dressing them, which 
could not be done without sending vessels by sea to every part of the world, 
as well for liquors to drink, as for sauces, and innumerable other 
conveniences. I assured him that this whole globe of earth must be at least 
three times gone round before one of our better female Yahoos could get her 
breakfast or a cup to put it in. He said that must needs be a miserable 
country which cannot furnish food for its own inhabitants. But what he chiefly 
wondered at was how such vast tracts of grounds as I described should be 
wholly without fresh water, and the people put to the necessity of sending 
over the sea for drink. I replied that England (the dear place of my nativity) 
was computed to produce three times the quantity of food more than its 
inhabitants are able to consume, as well as liquors extracted from grain, or 
pressed out of the fruit of certain trees, which made excellent drink, and the 
same proportion in every other convenience of life. But in order to feed the 
luxury and intemperance of the males and the vanity of the females, we sent 
away the greatest part of our necessary things to other countries, from 
whence, in return, we brought the materials of diseases, folly, and vice to 
spend among ourselves. Hence it follows of necessity that vast numbers of our 
people are compelled to seek their livelihood by begging, robbing, stealing, 
cheating, pimping, forswearing, flattering, suborning, forging, gaming, lying, 
fawning, hectoring, voting, scribbling, star-gazing, poisoning, whoring, 
canting, libelling, freethinking, and the like occupations, every one of which 
terms I was at much pains to make him understand.
That wine was not imported among us from foreign countries to supply the want 
of water or other drinks, but because it was a sort of liquid which made us 
merry by putting us out of our senses, diverted all melancholy thoughts, begat 
wild, extravagant imaginations in the brain, raised our hopes and banished our 
fears, suspended every office of reason for a time, and deprived us of the use 
of our limbs till we fell into a profound sleep, although it must be confessed 
that we always awake sick and dispirited, and that the use of this liquor 
filled us with diseases which made our lives uncomfortable and short.
But beside all this, the bulk of our people supported themselves by furnishing 
the necessities and conveniences of life to the rich and to each other. For 
instance, when I am at home and dressed as I ought to be, I carry on my body 
the workmanship of a hundred tradesmen; the building and furniture of my house 
employ as many more, and five times the number to adorn my wife.
I was going on to tell him of another sort of people, who get their livelihood 
by attending the sick, having upon some occasions informed his Honour that 
many of my crew had died of diseases. But here it was with the utmost 
difficulty that I brought him to apprehend what I meant. He could easily 
conceive that a Houyhnhnm grew weak and heavy a few days before his death, or 
by some accident might hurt a limb. But that Nature, who works all things to 
perfection, should suffer any pains to breed in our bodies, he thought it 
impossible, and desired to know the reason of so unaccountable an evil. I told 
him we fed on a thousand things which operated the one contrary to each other; 
that we ate when we were not hungry, and drank without the provocation of 
thirst; that we sat whole nights drinking strong liquors without eating a bit, 
which disposed us to sloth, inflamed our bodies, and precipitated or prevented 
digestion. That prostitute female Yahoos acquired a certain malady, which bred 
rottenness in the bones of those who fell into their embraces; that this and 
many other diseases were propagated from father to son, so that great numbers 
come into the world with complicated maladies upon them; that it would be 
endless to give him a catalogue of all diseases incident to human bodies, for 
they could not be fewer than five or six hundred, spread over every limb and 
joint; in short, every part, external and intestine, having diseases 
appropriated to them. To remedy which there was a sort of people bred up among 
us in the profession, or pretence, of curing the sick. And because I had some 
skill in the faculty, I would, in gratitude to his Honour, let him know the 
whole mystery and method by which they proceed. Their fundamental is that all 
diseases arise from repletion, from whence they conclude that a great 
evacuation of the body is necessary, either through the natural passage or 
upwards at the mouth. Their next business is from herbs, minerals, gums, oils, 
shells, salts, juices, seaweed, excrements, barks of trees, serpents, toads, 
frogs, spiders, dead men's flesh and bones, beasts and fishes, to form a 
composition for smell and taste the most abominable, nauseous, and detestable 
they can possibly contrive, which the stomach immediately rejects with 
loathing, and this they call a vomit, or else from the same storehouse, with 
some other poisonous additions, they command us to take in at the orifice 
above or below (just as the physician then happens to be disposed) a medicine 
equally annoying and disgustful to the bowels, which, relaxing the belly, 
drives down all before it, and this they call a purge or a clyster. For Nature 
(as the physicians allege), having intended the superior anterior orifice only 
for the intromission of solids and liquids, and the inferior for ejections, 
these artists ingeniously considering that in all diseases Nature is forced 
out of her seat; therefore, to replace her in it, the body must be treated in 
a manner directly contrary, by interchanging the use of each orifice, forcing 
solids and liquids in at the anus, and making evacuations at the mouth.
But, besides real diseases, we are subject to many that are only imaginary, 
for which the physicians have invented imaginary cures; these have their 
several names, and so have the drugs that are proper for them, and with these 
our female Yahoos are always infested.
One great excellency in this tribe is their skill at prognostics, wherein they 
seldom fail, their predictions in real diseases, when they rise to any degree 
of malignity, generally portending death, which is always in their power when 
recovery is not. And, therefore, upon any unexpected signs of amendment, after 
they have pronounced their sentence, rather than be accused as false prophets, 
they know how to approve their sagacity to the world by a seasonable dose.
They are likewise of special use to husbands and wives who are grown weary of 
their mates, to eldest sons, to great Ministers of State, and often to Princes.
I had formerly upon occasion discoursed with my master upon the nature of 
government in general, and particularly of our own excellent Constitution, 
deservedly the wonder and envy of the whole world. But having here 
accidentally mentioned a Minister of State, he commanded me some time after to 
inform him what species of Yahoos I particularly meant by that appellation.
I told him that our she Governor, or Queen, having no ambition to gratify, no 
inclination to satisfy of extending her power to the injury of her neighbours 
or the prejudice of her own subjects, was therefore so far from needing a 
corrupt Ministry to carry on or cover any sinister designs that she not only 
directs her own actions to the good of her people, conducts them by the 
direction, and restrains them within the limitation, of the laws of her own 
country, but submits the behaviour and acts of those she entrusts with the 
administration of her affairs to the examination of her great Council, and 
subjects them to the penalties of the law and therefore never puts any such 
confidence in any of her subjects as to entrust them with the whole and entire 
administration of her affairs. But I added that in some former reigns here, 
and in many other Courts of Europe now, where Princes grew indolent and 
careless of their own affairs through a constant love and pursuit of pleasure, 
they made use of such an administrator as I had mentioned, under the title of 
first or chief Minister of State, the description of which, as far as it may 
be collected not only from their actions, but from the letters, memoirs, and 
writings published by themselves, the truth of which has not yet been 
disputed, may be allowed to be as follows: That he is a person wholly exempt 
from joy and grief, love and hatred, pity and anger -at least, makes use of no 
other passions but a violent desire of wealth, power, and titles; that he 
never tells words to all uses except to the indication of his mind; that he 
never tells a truth but with an intent that you should take it for a lie, nor 
a lie but with a design that you should take it for a truth; that those he 
speaks worst of behind their backs are in the surest way to preferment, and 
whenever he begins to praise you to others or to yourself, you are from that 
day forlorn. The worst mark you can receive is a promise, especially when it 
is confirmed with an oath, after which every wise man retires and gives over 
all hopes.
There are three methods by which a man may rise to be chief Minister: The 
first is by knowing how with prudence to dispose of a wife, a daughter, or a 
sister; the second by betraying or undermining his predecessor; and the third 
is by a furious zeal in public assemblies against the corruptions of the 
Court. But a wise Prince would rather choose to employ those who practise the 
last of these methods, because such zealots prove always the most obsequious 
and subservient to the will and passions of their master. That these 
Ministers, having all employments at their disposal, preserve themselves in 
power by bribing the majority of a Senate or great Council, and, at last, by 
an Act of Indemnity (whereof i described the nature to him), they secured 
themselves from after reckonings, and retired from the public, laden with the 
spoils of the nation.
The palace of a chief Minister is a seminary to breed up others in his own 
trade. The pages, lackeys, and porter, by imitating their master, become 
Ministers of State in their several districts, and learn to excel in the three 
principal ingredients of insolence, lying, and bribery. Accordingly, they have 
a subaltern Court paid to them by persons of the best rank, and sometimes, by 
the force of dexterity and impudence, arrive through several gradations to be 
successors to their lord.
He is usually governed by a decayed wench or favourite footman, who are the 
tunnels through which all graces are conveyed, and may properly be called, in 
the last resort, the governors of the kingdom.
One day, in discourse, my master, having heard me mention the nobility of my 
country, was pleased to make me a compliment which I could not pretend to 
deserve: that he was sure I must have been born of some noble family, because 
I far exceeded in shape, colour, and cleanliness all the Yahoos of his nation, 
although I seemed to fail in strength and agility, which must be imputed to my 
different way of living from those other brutes; and, besides, I was not only 
endowed with the faculty of speech, but likewise with some rudiments of reason 
to a degree that with all his acquaintance I passed for a prodigy.
He made me observe that among the Houyhnhnms the white, the sorrel, and the 
iron-gray were not so exactly shaped as the bay, the dapple-gray, and the 
black, or born with equal talents of the mind, or a capacity to improve them, 
and therefore continued always in the condition of servants, without ever 
aspiring to match out of their own race, which in that country would be 
reckoned monstrous and unnatural.
I made his Honour my most humble acknowledgments for the good opinion he was 
pleased to conceive of me, but assured him at the same time that my birth was 
of the lower sort, having been born of plain, honest parents, who were just 
able to give me a tolerable education. That nobility among us was altogether a 
different thing from the idea he had of it. That our young noblemen are bred 
from their childhood in idleness and luxury; that as soon as years will permit 
they consume their vigour, and contract odious diseases among lewd females, 
and when their fortunes are almost ruined they marry some woman of mean birth, 
disagreeable person, and unsound constitution, merely for the sake of money, 
whom they hate and despise. That the productions of such marriages are 
generally scrofulous, rickety, or deformed children, by which means the family 
seldom continues above three generations, unless the wife takes care to 
provide a healthy father among her neighbours or acquaintance, in order to 
improve and continue the breed. That a weak, diseased body, a meagre 
countenance, and sallow complexion, are no uncommon marks of a great man, and 
a healthy, robust appearance is so far disgraceful in a man of quality that 
the world is apt to conclude his real father to have been one of the inferiors 
of the family, especially when it is seen that the imperfections of his mind 
run parallel with those of his body, and are little else than a composition of 
spleen, dullness, ignorance, caprice, sensuality, and pride.


Chapter 34

The Author's great love of his native country. His master's observations upon 
the Constitution and administration of England, as described by the Author, 
with parallel cases and comparisons. His master's observations upon human 
nature.


The reader may be disposed to wonder how I could prevail on myself to give so 
free a representation of my own species among a race of mortals who were 
already too apt to conceive the vilest opinion of human kind from that entire 
congruity betwixt me and their Yahoos. But I must freely confess that the many 
virtues of those excellent quadrupeds, placed in opposite view to human 
corruptions, had so far opened my eyes and enlightened my understanding that I 
began to view the actions and passions of man in a very different light, and 
to think the honour of my own kind not worth managing, which, besides, it was 
impossible for me to do before a person of so acute a judgment as my master, 
who daily convinced me of a thousand faults in myself, whereof i had not the 
least perception before, and which among us would never be numbered even among 
human infirmities; I had likewise learned from his example an utter 
detestation of all falsehood or disguise, and truth appeared so amiable to me 
that I determined upon sacrificing everything to it.
Let me deal so candidly with the reader as to confess that there was yet a 
much stronger motive for the freedom I took in my representation of things. I 
had not been a year in this country before I contracted such a love and 
veneration for the inhabitants that I entered on a firm resolution never to 
return to human kind, but to pass the rest of my life among these admirable 
Houyhnhnms in the contemplation and practise of every virtue, where I could 
have no example or incitement to vice. But it was decreed by Fortune, my 
perpetual enemy, that so great a felicity should not fall to my share. 
However, it is now some comfort to reflect that in what I said of my 
countrymen I extenuated their faults as much as I dare before so strict an 
examiner, and upon every article gave as favourable a turn as the matter would 
bear. For, indeed, who is there alive that will not be swayed by his bias and 
partiality to the place of his birth?
I have related the substance of several conversations I had with my master 
during the greatest part of the time I had the honour to be in his service, 
but have indeed, for brevity's sake, omitted much more than is here set down.
When I had answered all his questions, and his curiosity seemed to be fully 
satisfied -he sent for me one morning early, and commanded me to sit down at 
some distance (an honour which he had never before conferred upon me) -he said 
he had been very seriously considering my whole story, as far as it related 
both to myself and my country; that he looked upon us as a sort of animal, to 
whose share, by what accident he could not conjecture, some small pittance of 
reason had fallen, whereof we made no other use than by its assistance to 
aggravate our natural corruptions, and to acquire new ones which Nature had 
not given us; that we disarmed ourselves of the few abilities she had 
bestowed, had been very successful in multiplying our original wants, and 
seemed to spend our whole lives in vain endeavours to supply them by our own 
inventions. That as to myself, it was manifest I had neither the strength or 
agility of a common Yahoo, that I walked infirmly on my hinder-feet, had found 
out a contrivance to make my claws of no use or defence, and to remove the 
hair from my chin, which was intended as a shelter from the sun and the 
weather. Lastly, that I could neither run with speed nor climb trees like my 
brethren (as he called them) the Yahoos in this country.
That our institutions of government and law were plainly owing to our gross 
defects in reason, and by consequence in virtue, because reason alone is 
sufficient to govern a rational creature, which was therefore a character we 
had no pretence to challenge, even from the account I had given of my own 
people, although he manifestly perceived that in order to favour them I had 
concealed many particulars, and often said the thing which was not.
He was the more confirmed in this opinion because he observed that as I agreed 
in every feature of my body with other Yahoos, except where it was to my real 
disadvantage in point of strength, speed, and activity, the shortness of my 
claws, and some other particulars where Nature had no part, so from the 
representation I had given him of our lives, our manners, and our actions, he 
found as near a resemblance in the disposition of our minds. He said the 
Yahoos were known to hate one another more than they did any different species 
of animals, and the reason usually assigned was the odiousness of their own 
shapes, which all could see in the rest, but not in themselves. He had 
therefore begun to think it not unwise in us to cover our bodies, and by that 
invention conceal many of our own deformities from each other, which would 
else be hardly supportable. But he now found he had been mistaken and that the 
dissensions of those brutes in his country were owing to the same cause with 
ours, as I had described them. For if (said he) you throw among five Yahoos as 
much food as would be sufficient for fifty, they will, instead of eating 
peaceably, fall together by the ears, each single one impatient to have all to 
itself, and therefore a servant was usually employed to stand by while they 
were feeding abroad, and those kept at home were tied at a distance from each 
other; that if a cow died of age or accident, before a Houyhnhnm could secure 
it for his own Yahoos, those in the neighbourhood would come in herds to seize 
it, and then would ensue such a battle as I had described, with terrible 
wounds made by their claws on both sides, although they seldom were able to 
kill one another, for want of such convenient instruments of death as we had 
invented. At other times the like battles have been fought between the Yahoos 
of several neighbourhoods without any visible cause, those of one district 
watching all opportunities to surprise the next before they are prepared. But 
if they find their project has miscarried, they return home, and, for want of 
enemies, engage in what I call a civil war among themselves.
That in some fields of his country there are certain shining stones of several 
colours, whereof the Yahoos are violently fond; and when part of these stones 
is fixed in the earth, as it sometimes happens, they will dig with their claws 
for whole days to get them out; then carry them away and hide them by heaps in 
their kennels, but still looking round with great caution, for fear their 
comrades should find out their treasure. My master said he could never 
discover the reason of this unnatural appetite, or how these stones could be 
of any use to a Yahoo; but now he believed it might proceed from the same 
principle of avarice which I had ascribed to mankind. That he had once, by way 
of experiment, privately removed a heap of these stones from the place where 
one of his Yahoos had buried it, whereupon the sordid animal, missing his 
treasure, by his loud lamenting brought the whole herd to the place, there 
miserably howled, then fell to biting and tearing the rest, began to pine 
away, would neither eat, nor sleep, nor work, till he ordered a servant 
privately to convey the stones into the same hole and hide them as before, 
which, when his Yahoo had found, he presently recovered his spirits and good-
humour, but took care to remove them to a better hiding-place, and hath ever 
since been a very serviceable brute.
My master further assured me, which I also observed myself, that in the fields 
where the shining stones abound the fiercest and most frequent battles are 
fought, occasioned by perpetual inroads of the neighbouring Yahoos.
He said it was common when two Yahoos discovered such a stone in a field, and 
were contending which of them should be the proprietor, a third would take the 
advantage and carry it away from them both, which my master would needs 
contend to have some kind of resemblance with our suits at law, wherein I 
thought it for our credit not to undeceive him, since the decision he 
mentioned was much more equitable than many decrees among us, because the 
plaintiff and defendant there lost nothing besides the stone they contended 
for, whereas our courts of equity would seldom have dismissed the cause while 
either of them had anything left.
My master, continuing his discourse, said there was nothing that rendered the 
Yahoos more odious than their undistinguishing appetite to devour everything 
that came in their way, whether herbs, roots, berries, the corrupted flesh of 
animals, or all mingled together; and it was peculiar in their temper that 
they were fonder of what they could get by rapine or stealth at a greater 
distance than much better food provided for them at home. If their prey held 
out they would eat till they were ready to burst, after which Nature had 
pointed out to them a certain root that gave them a general evacuation.
There was also another kind of root, very juicy, but somewhat rare and 
difficult to be found, which the Yahoos sought for with much eagerness, and 
would suck it with great delight; and it produced the same effects that wine 
has upon us. It would make them sometimes hug, sometimes tear one another; 
they would howl and grin, and chatter, and tumble, and then fall asleep in the 
dirt.
I did indeed observe that the Yahoos were the only animals in this country 
subject to any diseases, which, however, were much fewer than horses have 
among us, and contracted not by any ill-treatment they meet with, but by the 
nastiness and greediness of that sordid brute. Neither has their language any 
more than a general appellation for those maladies, which is borrowed from the 
name of the beast, and called "hnea-yahoo," or the Yahoo's evil, and the cure 
prescribed is a mixture of their own dung and urine forcibly put down the 
Yahoo's throat. This I have since often taken myself, and do freely recommend 
it to my countrymen for the public good as an admirable specific against all 
diseases produced by repletion.
As to learning, government, arts, manufactures, and the like, my master 
confessed he could find little or no resemblance between the Yahoos of that 
country and those in ours, for he only meant to observe what parity there was 
in our natures. He had heard, indeed, some curious Houyhnhnms observe that in 
most herds there was a sort of ruling Yahoo (as among us there is generally 
some leading or principal stag in a park), who was always more deformed in 
body and mischievous in disposition than any of the rest; that this leader had 
usually a favourite as like himself as he could get, whose employment was to 
lick his master's feet and posteriors, and drive the female Yahoos to his 
kennel, for which he was now and then rewarded with a piece of ass's flesh. 
This favourite is hated by the whole herd, and therefore, to protect himself, 
keeps always near the person of his leader. He usually continues in office 
till a worse can be found, but the very moment he is discarded his successor 
at the head of all the Yahoos in that district, young and old, male and 
female, come in a body and discharge their excrements upon him from head to 
foot. But how far this might be applicable to our Courts and favourites and 
Ministers of State, my master said I could best determine.
I dare make no return to this malicious insinuation, which debased human 
understanding below the sagacity of a common hound, who has judgment enough to 
distinguish and follow the cry of the ablest dog in the pack without being 
ever mistaken.
My master told me there were some qualities remarkable in the Yahoos which he 
had not observed me to mention, or at least very slightly, in the accounts I 
had given him of human kind. He said those animals, like other brutes, had 
their females in common; but in this they differed, that the she Yahoo would 
admit the male while she was pregnant, and that the males would quarrel and 
fight with females as fiercely as with each other, both which practices were 
such degrees of brutality that no other sensitive creature ever arrived at.
Another thing he wondered at in the Yahoos was their strange disposition to 
nastiness and dirt, whereas there appears to be a natural love of cleanliness 
in all other animals. As to the two former accusations, I was glad to let them 
pass without any reply, because I had not a word to offer upon them in defence 
of my species, which otherwise I certainly had done from my own inclinations. 
But I could have easily vindicated human kind from the imputation of 
singularity upon article if there had been any swine in that country (as, 
unluckily for me, there were not), which, although it may be a sweeter 
quadruped than a Yahoo, cannot, I humbly conceive, in justice pretend to more 
cleanliness; and so his Honour himself must have owned if he had seen their 
filthy way of feeding and their custom of wallowing and sleeping in the mud.
My master likewise mentioned another quality which his servants had discovered 
in several Yahoos, and to him was wholly unaccountable. He said a fancy would 
sometimes take a Yahoo to retire into a corner, to lie down and howl, and 
groan, and spurn away all that came near him, although he were young and fat, 
wanted neither food nor water, nor could the servants imagine what could 
possibly ail him. And the only remedy they found was to set him to hard work, 
after which he would infallibly come to himself. To this I was silent out of 
partiality to my own kind, yet here I could discover the true seeds of spleen, 
which only seize on the lazy, the luxurious, and the rich, who, if they were 
forced to undergo the same regimen, I would undertake for the cure.
His Honour had further observed that a female Yahoo would often stand behind a 
bank or a bush to gaze on the young males passing by, and then appear and 
hide, using many antic gestures and grimaces, at which time it was observed 
that she had a most offensive smell; and when any of the males advanced would 
slowly retire, looking often back, and, with a counterfeit show of fear, run 
off into some convenient place where she knew the male would follow her.
At other times, if a female stranger came among them, three or four of her own 
sex would get about her, and stare, and chatter, and grin, and smell her all 
over, and then turn off with gestures that seemed to express contempt and 
disdain.
Perhaps my master might refine a little in these speculations, which he had 
drawn from what he observed himself or had been told him by others; however, I 
could not reflect without some amazement and much sorrow that the rudiments of 
lewdness, coquetry, censure, and scandal should have place by instinct in 
womankind.
I expected every moment that my master would accuse the Yahoos of those 
unnatural appetites in both sexes so common among us. But Nature, it seems, 
hath not been so expert a schoolmistress, and these politer pleasures are 
entirely the productions of art and reason on our side of the globe.


Chapter 35

The Author relates several particulars of the Yahoos. The great virtues of the 
Houyhnhnms. The education and exercise of their youth. Their general assembly.


As I ought to have understood human nature much better than I supposed it 
possible for my master to do, so it was easy to apply the character he gave of 
the Yahoos to myself and my countrymen, and I believed I could yet make 
further discoveries from my own observation. I therefore often begged his 
favour to let me go among the herd of Yahoos in the neighbourhood, to which he 
always very graciously consented, being perfectly convinced that the hatred I 
bore those brutes would never suffer me to be corrupted by them; and his 
Honour ordered one of his servants, a strong sorrel nag, very honest and good-
natured, to be my guard, without whose protection I dare not undertake such 
adventures. For I have already told the reader how much I was pestered with 
those animals upon my first arrival. And I afterwards failed three or four 
times of very narrowly falling into their clutches, when I happened to stray 
at any distance without my hanger. And I have reason to believe they had some 
imagination that I was of their own species, which I often assisted myself by 
stripping up my sleeves, and showing my naked arms and breast in their sight, 
when my protector was with me. At which times they would approach as near as 
they dare, and imitate my actions after the manner of monkeys, but ever with 
great signs of hatred, as a tame jackdaw with cap and stockings is always 
persecuted by the wild ones, when he happens to be got among them.
They are prodigiously nimble from their infancy; however, I once caught a 
young male of three years old, and endeavoured by all marks of tenderness to 
make it quiet; but the little imp fell a-squalling, and scratching, and biting 
with such violence that I was forced to let it go, and it was high time for a 
whole troop of old ones came about us at the noise, but finding the cub was 
safe (for away it ran), and my sorrel nag being by, they dare not venture near 
us. I observed the young animal's flesh to smell very rank, and the stink was 
somewhat between a weasel and a fox, but much more disagreeable. I forgot 
another circumstance (and perhaps I might have the reader's pardon if it were 
wholly omitted), that while I held the odious vermin in my hands it voided its 
filthy excrements of a yellow liquid substance all over my clothes; but by 
good fortune there was a small brook hard by, where I washed myself as clean 
as I could, although I dare not come into my master's presence until I were 
sufficiently aired.
By what I could discover, the Yahoos appear to be the most unteachable of all 
animals, their capacities never reaching higher than to draw or carry burdens. 
Yet I am of opinion this defect arises chiefly from a perverse, restive 
disposition, for they are cunning, malicious, treacherous, and revengeful. 
They are strong and hardy, but of a cowardly spirit, and by consequence, 
insolent, abject, and cruel. It is observed that the red-haired of both sexes 
are more libidinous and mischievous than the rest, whom yet they much exceed 
in strength and activity.
The Houyhnhnms keep the Yahoos for present use in huts not far from the house; 
but the rest are sent abroad to certain fields, where they dig up roots, eat 
several kinds of herbs, and scratch about for carrion, or sometimes catch 
weasels and luhimuhs (a sort of wild rat), which they greedily devour. Nature 
hath taught them to dig deep holes with their nails on the side of a rising 
ground, where they lie by themselves; only the kennels of the females are 
larger, sufficient to hold two or three cubs.
They swim from their infancy like frogs, and are able to continue long under 
water, where they often take fish, which the females carry home to their 
young. And upon this occasion I hope the reader will pardon my relating an odd 
adventure.
Being one day abroad with my protector, the sorrel nag, and the weather 
exceeding hot, I entreated him to let me bathe in a river that was near. He 
consented, and I immediately stripped myself stark naked and went down softly 
into the stream. It happened that a young female Yahoo, standing behind a 
bank, saw the whole proceeding, and inflamed by desire, as the nag and I 
conjectured, came running with all speed, and leaped into the water within 
five yards of the place where I bathed. I was never in my life so terribly 
frightened; the nag was grazing at some distance, not suspecting any harm. She 
embraced me after a most fulsome manner; I roared as loud as I could, and the 
nag came galloping towards me, whereupon she quitted her grasp with the utmost 
reluctancy, and leaped upon the opposite bank, where she stood gazing and 
howling all the time I was putting on my clothes.
This was matter of diversion to my master and his family, as well as of 
mortification to myself. For now I could no longer deny that I was a real 
Yahoo in every limb and feature, since the females had a natural propensity to 
me as one of their own species; neither was the hair of this brute of a red 
colour (which might have been some excuse for an appetite a little irregular), 
but black as a sloe, and her countenance did not make an appearance altogether 
so hideous as the rest of the kind, for I think she could not be above eleven 
years old.
Having lived three years in this country, the reader, I suppose, will expect 
that I should, like other travellers, give him some account of the manners and 
customs of its inhabitants, which it was indeed my principal study to learn.
As these noble Houyhnhnms are endowed by Nature with a general disposition to 
all virtues, and have no conceptions or ideas of what is evil in a rational 
creature, so their grand maxim is to cultivate reason, and to be wholly 
governed by it. Neither is reason among them a point of problematical as with 
us, where men can argue with plausibility on both sides of a question; but 
strikes you with immediate conviction, as it must needs do where it is not 
mingled, obscured, or discoloured by passion and interest. I remember it was 
with extreme difficulty that I could bring my master to understand the meaning 
of the word "opinion," or how a point could be disputed, because reason taught 
us to affirm or deny only where we are certain, and beyond our knowledge we 
cannot do either. So that controversies, wranglings, disputes, and 
positiveness in false or dubious propositions are evils unknown among the 
Houyhnhnms. In the like manner, when I used to explain to him our several 
systems of natural philosophy, he would laugh that a creature pretending to 
reason should value itself upon the knowledge of other people's conjectures, 
and in things where that knowledge, if it were certain, could be of no use. 
Wherein he agreed entirely with the sentiments of Socrates, as Plato delivers 
them which I mention as the highest honour I can do that prince of 
philosophers. I have often since reflected what destruction such a doctrine 
would make in the libraries of Europe, and how many paths to fame would be 
then shut up in the learned world.
Friendship and benevolence are the two principal virtues among the Houyhnhnms, 
and these not confined to particular objects, but universal to the whole race, 
for a stranger from the remotest part is equally treated with the nearest 
neighbour, and wherever he goes looks upon himself as at home. They preserve 
decency and civility in the highest degrees, but are altogether ignorant of 
ceremony. They have no fondness for their colts or foals, but the care they 
take in educating them proceeds entirely from the dictates of reason, and I 
observed my master to show the same affection to his neighbour's issue that he 
had for his own. They will have it that Nature teaches them to love the whole 
species, and it is reason only that makes a distinction of persons where there 
is a superior degree of virtue.
When the matron Houyhnhnms have produced one of each sex they no longer 
accompany with their consorts, except they lose one of their issue by some 
casualty -which very seldom happens -but in such a case they meet again; or 
when the like accident befalls a person whose wife is past bearing, some other 
couple bestow on him one of their own colts, and then go together again till 
the mother is pregnant. This caution is necessary to prevent the country from 
being overburdened with numbers. But the race of inferior Houyhnhnms bred up 
to be servants is not so strictly limited upon this article; these are allowed 
to produce three of each sex, to be domestics in the noble families.
In their marriages they are exactly careful to choose such colours as will not 
make any disagreeable mixture in the breed. Strength is chiefly valued in the 
male and comeliness in the female, not upon the account of love, but to 
preserve the race from degenerating; for where a female happens to excel in 
strength a consort is chosen with regard to comeliness. Courtship, love, 
presents, jointures, settlements, have no place in their thoughts, or terms 
whereby to express them in their language. The young couple meet and are 
joined merely because it is the determination of their parents and friends; it 
is what they see done every day, and they look upon it as one of the necessary 
actions of a rational being. But the violation of marriage or any other 
unchastity was never heard of; and the married pair pass their lives with the 
same friendship and mutual benevolence that they bear to all others of the 
same species who come in their way, without jealousy, fondness, quarrelling, 
or discontent.
In educating the youth of both sexes their method is admirable and highly 
deserves our imitation. These are not suffered to taste a grain of oats except 
upon certain days till eighteen years old, nor milk but very rarely; and in 
summer they graze two hours in the morning, and as long in the evening, which 
their parents likewise observe; but the servants are not allowed above half 
that time, and a great part of their grass is brought home, which they eat at 
the most convenient hours, when they can be best spared from work.
Temperance, industry, exercise, and cleanliness are the lessons equally 
enjoined to the young ones of both sexes, and my master thought it monstrous 
in us to give the females a different kind of education from the males, except 
in some articles of domestic managements, whereby, as he truly observed, one 
half of our natives were good for nothing but bringing children into the 
world; and to trust the care of our children to such useless animals, he said, 
was yet a greater instance of brutality.
But the Houyhnhnms train up their youth to strength, speed, and hardiness by 
exercising them in running races up and down steep hills and over hard and 
stony grounds; and when they are all in a sweat they are ordered to leap over 
head and ears into a pond or a river. Four times a year the youth of a certain 
district meet to show their proficiency in running and leaping, and other 
feats of strength and agility, where the victor is rewarded with a song made 
in his or her praise. On this festival the servants drive a herd of Yahoos 
into the field laden with hay, and oats, and milk for a repast to the 
Houyhnhnms, after which these brutes were immediately driven back again, for 
fear of being noisome to the assembly.
Every fourth year, at the vernal equinox, there is a representative council of 
the whole nation, which meets in a plain about twenty miles from our houses, 
and continues about five or six days. Here they inquire into the state and 
condition of the several districts, whether they abound or be deficient in 
hay, or oats, or cows, or Yahoos; and wherever there is any want (which is but 
seldom) it is immediately supplied by unanimous consent and contribution. Here 
likewise the regulation of children is settled, as, for instance, if a 
Houyhnhnms has two males, he changes one of them with another that has two 
females; and when a child has been lost by any casualty, where the mother is 
past breeding, it is determined what family shall breed another to supply the 
loss.


Chapter 36

A grand debate at the general assembly of the Houyhnhnms, and how it was 
determined. The learning of the Houyhnhnms. Their buildings. Their manner of 
burials. The defectiveness of their language.


One of these Grand Assemblies was held in my time, about three months before 
my departure, whither my master went as the representative of our district. In 
this council was resumed their old debate, and, indeed, the only debate that 
ever happened in that country, whereof my master, after his return, gave me a 
very particular account.
The question to be debated was whether the Yahoos should be exterminated from 
the face of the earth. One of the members for the affirmative offered several 
arguments of great strength and weight, alleging that as the Yahoos were the 
most filthy, noisome, and deformed animal which Nature ever produced, so they 
were the most restive and indocile, mischievous and malicious. They would 
privately suck the teats of the Houyhnhnms' cows, kill and devour their cats, 
trample down their oats and grass, if they were not continually watched, and 
commit a thousand other extravagances. He took notice of a general tradition 
that Yahoos had not been always in that country, but that many ages ago two of 
these brutes appeared together upon a mountain whether produced by the heat of 
the sun upon corrupted mud and slime, or from the ooze or froth of the sea, 
was never known. That these Yahoos engendered, and their brood in a short time 
grew so numerous as to overrun and infest the whole nation. That the 
Houyhnhnms, to get rid of this evil, made a general hunting, and at last 
enclosed the whole herd, and, destroying the old ones, every Houyhnhnm kept 
two young ones in a kennel, and brought them to such a degree of tameness as 
an animal so savage by Nature can be capable of acquiring, using them for 
draught and carriage. That there seemed to be much truth in this tradition, 
and that those creatures could not be ylnhniamshy (or aborigines of the land) 
because of the violent hatred the Houyhnhnms, as well as all other animals, 
bore them, which, although their evil disposition sufficiently deserved, could 
never have arrived at so high a degree if they had been aborigines, or else 
they would have long since been rooted out. That the inhabitants, taking a 
fancy to use the service of the Yahoos, had very imprudently neglected to 
cultivate the breed of asses, which were a comely animal, easily kept, more 
tame and orderly, without any offensive smell, strong enough for labour, 
although they yield to the other in agility of body; and if their braying be 
no agreeable sound it is far preferable to the horrible howlings of the Yahoos.
Several others declared their sentiments to the same purpose, when my master 
proposed an expedient to the assembly, whereof he had indeed borrowed the hint 
from me. He approved of the tradition mentioned by the honourable member, who 
spoke before and affirmed that the two Yahoos said to be first seen among them 
had been driven thither over the sea; that coming to land and being forsaken 
by their companions, they retired to the mountains, and, degenerating by 
degrees, became in process of time much more savage than those of their own 
species in the country from whence these two originals came. The reason of his 
assertion was that he had now in his possession a certain wonderful Yahoo 
(meaning myself ) which most of them had heard of, and many of them had seen. 
He then related to them how he first found me; that my body was all covered 
with an artificial composure of the skins and hairs of other animals; that I 
had a language of my own, and had thoroughly learned theirs; that I had 
related to him the accidents which brought me thither; that when he saw me 
without my covering I was an exact Yahoo in every part, only of a whiter 
colour, less hairy, and with shorter claws. He added how I had endeavoured to 
persuade him that in my own and other countries the Yahoos acted as the 
governing, rational animal, and held the Houyhnhnms in servitude; that he 
observed in me all the qualities of a Yahoo, only a little more civilised by 
some tincture of reason, which, however, was in a degree as far inferior to 
the Houyhnhnm race as the Yahoos of their country were to me; that among other 
things I mentioned a custom we had of castrating Houyhnhnms when they were 
young in order to render them tame; that the operation was easy and safe; that 
it was no shame to learn wisdom from brutes, as industry is taught by the ant 
and building by the swallow (for so I translate the word lyhannh, although it 
be a much larger fowl); that this invention might be practised upon the 
younger Yahoos here, which, besides rendering them tractable and fitter for 
use, would in an age put an end to the whole species without destroying life; 
that, in the meantime the Houyhnhnms should be exhorted to cultivate the breed 
of asses, which as they are in all respects more valuable brutes, so they have 
this advantage, to be fit for service at five years old, which the others are 
not till twelve.
This was all my master thought fit to tell me at that time of what passed in 
the Grand Council. But he was pleased to conceal one particular, which related 
personally to myself, whereof I soon felt the unhappy effects, as the reader 
will know in its proper place, and from whence I date all the succeeding 
misfortunes of my life.
The Houyhnhnms have no letters, and consequently their knowledge is all 
traditional. But there happening few events of any moment among a people so 
well united, naturally disposed to every virtue, wholly governed by reason, 
and cut off from all commerce with other nations, the historical part is 
easily preserved without burdening their memory. I have already observed that 
they are subject to no diseases, and therefore can have no need of physicians. 
However, they have excellent medicines composed of herbs, to cure accidental 
bruises and cuts in the pastern or frog of the foot by sharp stones, as well 
as other maims and hurts in the several parts of the body.
They calculate the year by the revolution of the sun and the moon, but use no 
subdivisions into weeks. They are well enough acquainted with the motions of 
those two luminaries, and understand the nature of eclipses, and this is the 
utmost progress of their astronomy.
In poetry they must be allowed to excel all other mortals, wherein the 
justness of their similes, and the minuteness as well as exactness of their 
descriptions, are indeed inimitable. Their verses abound very much in both of 
these, and usually contain either some exalted notions of friendship and 
benevolence or the praises of those who were victors in races and other bodily 
exercises. Their buildings, although very rude and simple, are not 
inconvenient, but well contrived to defend them from all injuries of cold and 
heat. They have a kind of tree which at forty years old loosens in the root 
and falls with the first storm; they grow very straight, and, being pointed 
like stakes with a sharp stone (for the Houyhnhnms know not the use of iron), 
they stick them erect in the ground about ten inches asunder, and then weave 
in oat-straw or sometimes wattles betwixt them. The roof is made after the 
same manner, and so are the doors.
The Houyhnhnms use the hollow part between the pastern and the hoof of their 
forefeet as we do our hands, and this with greater dexterity than I could 
first imagine. I have seen a white mare of our family thread a needle (which I 
lent her on purpose) with that joint. They milk their cows, reap their oats, 
and do all the work which requires hands in the same manner. They have a kind 
of hard flints, which, by grinding against other stones, they form into 
instruments that serve instead of wedges, axes, and hammers. With tools made 
of these flints they likewise cut their hay and reap their oats, which there 
grow naturally in several fields; the Yahoos draw home the sheaves in 
carriages, and the servants tread them in several covered huts to get out the 
grain, which is kept in stores. They make a rude kind of earthen and wooden 
vessels, and bake the former in the sun.
If they can avoid casualties, they die only of old age, and are buried in the 
obscurest places that can be found, their friends and relations expressing 
neither joy nor grief at their departure, nor does the dying person discover 
the least regret that he is leaving the world any more than if he were 
returning home from a visit to one of his neighbours. I remember my master 
having once made an appointment with a friend and his family to come to his 
house upon some affair of importance. On the day fixed the mistress and her 
two children came very late; she made two excuses, first for her husband, who, 
as she said, happened that very morning to "lhnuwnh." The word is strongly 
expressive in their language, but not easily rendered into English; it 
signifies, to retire to his first mother. Her excuse for not coming sooner was 
that, her husband dying late in the morning, she was a good while consulting 
her servants about a convenient place where his body should be laid, and I 
observed she behaved herself at our house as cheerfully as the rest, and died 
about three months after.
They live generally to seventy or seventy-five years, very seldom to 
fourscore; some weeks before their death they feel a gradual decay, but 
without pain. During this time they are much visited by their friends, because 
they cannot go abroad with their usual ease and satisfaction. However, about 
ten days before their death, which they seldom fail in computing, they return 
the visits that have been made them by those who are nearest in the 
neighbourhood, being carried in a convenient sledge drawn by Yahoos, which 
vehicle they use not only upon this occasion, but when they grow old, upon 
long journeys, or when they are lamed by any accident. And therefore when the 
dying Houyhnhnms return those visits they take a solemn leave of their 
friends, as if they were going to some remote part of the country, where they 
designed to pass the rest of their lives.
I know not whether it may be worth observing that the Houyhnhnms have no word 
in their language to express anything that is evil, except what they borrow 
from the deformities or ill qualities of the Yahoos. Thus they denote the 
folly of a servant, an omission of a child, a stone that cut their feet, a 
continuance of foul or unseasonable weather, and the like, by adding to each 
the epithet of Yahoo; for instance, "hhnm-yahoo," "whnaholm-yahoo," 
"ynlhmnawihlma-yahoo," and an ill-contrived house, "ynholmhnmrohlnw-yahoo."
I could with great pleasure enlarge further upon the manners and virtues of 
this excellent people, but, intending in a short time to publish a volume by 
itself expressly upon that subject, I refer the reader thither; and in the 
meantime proceed to relate my own sad catastrophe.


Chapter 37

The Author's economy and happy life among the Houyhnhnms. His great 
improvement in virtue by conversing with them. Their conversations. The Author 
has notice given him by his master that he must depart from the country. He 
falls into a swoon for grief, but submits. He contrives and finishes a canoe 
by the help of a fellow-servant, and puts to sea at a venture.


I had settled my little economy to my own heart's content. My master had 
ordered a room for me after their manner, about six yards from the house, the 
sides and floors of which I plastered with clay and covered with rush-mats of 
my own contriving. I had beaten hemp, which there grows wild, and made of it a 
sort of ticking. This I filled with the feathers of several birds I had taken 
with springes made of Yahoo's hairs, and were excellent food. I had worked two 
chairs with my knife, the sorrel nag helping me in the grosser and more 
laborious part. When my clothes were worn to rags, I made myself others with 
the skins of rabbits, and of a certain beautiful animal about the same size 
called "nnuhnoh," the skin of which is covered with a fine down. of these I 
made very tolerable stockings. I soled my boots with wood, which I cut from a 
tree and fitted to the upper leather, and when this was worn out I supplied it 
with the skins of Yahoos dried in the sun. I often got honey out of hollow 
trees, which I mingled with water or ate with my bread. No man could more 
verify the truth of these two maxims, that Nature is very easily satisfied, 
and that Necessity is the mother of invention. I enjoyed perfect health of 
body and tranquillity of mind. I did not find the treachery or inconstancy of 
a friend, nor the injuries of a secret or open enemy. I had no occasion of 
bribing, flattering, or pimping to procure the favour of any great man or of 
his minion. I wanted no fence against fraud or oppression. Here was neither 
physician to destroy my body, nor lawyer to ruin my fortune. No informer to 
watch my words and actions, or forge accusations against me for hire. Here 
were no gibers, censurers, backbiters, pick-pockets, highwaymen, house-
breakers, attorneys, bawds, buffoons, gamesters, politicians, wits, splenetic, 
tedious talkers, controversialists, ravishers, murderers, robbers, virtuosos, 
no leaders or followers of party and faction. No encouragers to vice, by 
seducement or examples. No dungeon, axes, gibbets, whipping-posts, or 
pillories. No cheating shopkeepers or mechanics. No pride, vanity, or 
affectation. No fops, bullies, drunkards, strolling whores, or poxes. No 
ranting, lewd, expensive wives. No stupid, proud pedants. No importunate, 
overbearing, quarrelsome, noisy, roaring, empty, conceited, swearing 
companions. No scoundrels raised from the dust for the sake of their vices, or 
nobility thrown into it on account of their virtues. No lords, fiddlers, 
judges, or dancing-masters.
I had the favour of being admitted to several Houyhnhnms who came to visit or 
dine with my master, where his Honour graciously suffered me to wait in the 
room and listen to their discourse. Both he and his company would often 
descend to ask me questions and receive my answers. I had also sometimes the 
honour of attending my master on his visits to others. I never presumed to 
speak except in answer to a question, and then I did it with inward regret, 
because it was a loss of so much time for improving myself. But I was 
infinitely delighted with the station of a humbler auditor in such 
conversations, where nothing passed but what was useful, expressed in the 
fewest and most significant words; where the greatest decency was observed 
without the least degree of ceremony; where no person spoke without being 
pleased himself and pleasing his companions; where there was no interruption, 
tediousness, heat, or difference of sentiments. They have a notion that when 
people are met together a short silence doth much improve conversation. This I 
found to be true, for during those little intermissions of talk new ideas 
would arise in the thoughts, which very much enlivened their discourse. Their 
subjects are generally on friendship and benevolence, on order and economy, 
sometimes upon the visible operations of Nature or ancient traditions, upon 
the bounds and limits of virtue, upon the unerring rules of reason, or upon 
some determinatons to be taken at the next great assembly, and often upon the 
various excellences of poetry. I may add without vanity that my presence often 
gave them sufficient matter for discourse, because it afforded my master an 
occasion of letting his friends into the history of me and my country, upon 
which they were all pleased to descant in a manner not very advantageous to 
human kind, and for that reason I shall not repeat what they said: only I may 
be allowed to observe that his Honour, to my great admiration, appeared to 
understand the nature of Yahoos in all countries much better than myself. He 
went through all our vices and follies, and discovered many which I had never 
mentioned to him, by only supposing what qualities a Yahoo of their country 
with a small proportion of reason, might be capable of exerting, and 
concluded, with too much probability, how vile, as well as miserable, such a 
creature must be.
I freely confess that all the little knowledge I have of any value was 
acquired by the lectures I received from my master, and from hearing the 
discourses of him and his friends, to which I should be prouder to listen than 
to dictate to the greatest and wisest assembly in Europe. I admired the 
strength, comeliness, and speed of the inhabitants, and such a constellation 
of virtues in such amiable persons produced in me the highest veneration. At 
first, indeed, I did not feel that natural awe which the Yahoos and all other 
animals bear towards them, but it grew upon me by degrees, much sooner than I 
imagined, and was mingled with a respectful love and gratitude that they would 
condescend to distinguish me from the rest of my species.
When I thought of my family, my friends, and my countrymen, or the human race 
in general, I considered them, as they really were, Yahoos in shape and 
disposition, only a little civilised and qualified with the gift of speech, 
but making no other use of reason than to improve and multiply those vices 
whereof their brethren in this country had only the share that Nature allotted 
them. When I happened to behold the reflection of my own form in a lake or a 
fountain, I turned away my face in horror and detestation of myself, and could 
better endure the sight of a common Yahoo than of my own person. By conversing 
with the Houyhnhnms, and looking upon them with delight, I fell to imitate 
their gait and gesture, which is now grown into a habit, and my friends often 
tell me in a blunt way that I trot like a horse, which, however, I take for a 
great compliment; neither shall I disown that in speaking I am apt to fall 
into the voice and manner of the Houyhnhnms, and hear myself ridiculed on that 
account without the least mortification.
In the midst of all this happiness, and when I looked upon myself to be fully 
settled for life, my master sent for me one morning a little earlier than his 
usual hour. I observed by his countenance that he was in some perplexity and 
at a loss how to begin what he had to speak. After a short silence he told me 
he did not know how I would take what he was going to say; that in the last 
general assembly, when the affair of the Yahoos was entered upon, the 
representatives had taken offence at his keeping a Yahoo (meaning myself ) in 
his family more like a Houyhnhnm than a brute animal; that he was known 
frequently to converse with me as if he could receive some advantage or 
pleasure in my company; that such a practice was not agreeable to reason or 
nature, nor a thing ever heard of before among them. The assembly did 
therefore exhort him either to employ me like the rest of my species or 
command me to swim back to the place from whence I came. That the first of 
these expedients was utterly rejected by all the Houyhnhnms who had ever seen 
me at his house or their own, for they alleged that because I had some 
rudiments of reason, added to the natural depravity of those animals, it was 
to be feared I might be able to seduce them into the woody and mountainous 
parts of the country, and bring them in troops by night to destroy the 
Houyhnhnms' cattle, as being naturally of the ravenous kind and averse from 
labour.
My master added that he was daily pressed by the Houyhnhnms of the 
neighbourhood to have the assembly's exhortation executed, which he could not 
put off much longer. He doubted it would be impossible for me to swim to 
another country, and therefore wished I would contrive some sort of vehicle 
resembling those I had described to him that might carry me on the sea, in 
which work I should have the assistance of his own servants as well as those 
of his neighbours. He concluded that for his own part he could have been 
content to keep me in his service as long as I lived, because he found I had 
cured myself of some bad habits and dispositions by endeavouring, as far as my 
inferior nature was capable, to imitate the Houyhnhnms.
I should here observe to the reader that a decree of the general assembly in 
this country is expressed by the word "hnhloayn," which signifies an 
exhortation as near as I can render it, for they have no conception how a 
rational creature can be compelled, but only advised or exhorted, because no 
person can disobey reason without giving up his claim to be a rational creature.
I was struck with the utmost grief and despair at my master's discourse, and, 
being unable to support the agonies I was under, I fell into a swoon at his 
feet; when I came to myself he told me that he concluded I had been dead -for 
these people are subject to no such imbecilities of Nature. I answered in a 
faint voice that death would have been too great a happiness; that although I 
could not blame the assembly's exhortation or the urgency of his friends, yet 
in my weak and corrupt judgment I thought it might consist with reason to have 
been less rigorous; that I could not swim a league, and probably the nearest 
land to theirs might be distant above a hundred; that many materials necessary 
for making a small vessel to carry me off were wholly wanting in this country, 
which, however, I would attempt in obedience and gratitude to his Honour, 
although I concluded the thing to be impossible, and therefore looked on 
myself as already devoted to destruction; that the certain prospect of 
unnatural death was the least of my evils, for supposing I should escape with 
life by some strange adventure, how could I think with temper of passing my 
days among Yahoos and relapsing into my old corruptions for want of examples 
to lead and keep me within the paths of virtue? That I knew too well upon what 
solid reasons all the determinations of the wise Houyhnhnms were founded, not 
to be shaken by arguments of mine, a miserable Yahoo; and therefore, after 
presenting him with my humble thanks for the offer of his servants' assistance 
in making a vessel, and desiring a reasonable time for so difficult a work, I 
told him I would endeavour to preserve a wretched being, and if ever I 
returned to England was not without hopes of being useful to my own species by 
celebrating the praises of the renowned Houyhnhnms, and proposing their 
virtues to the imitation of mankind.
My master in a few words, made me a very gracious reply, and allowed me the 
space of two months to finish my boat, and ordered the sorrel nag, my fellow-
servant (for so at this distance I may presume to call him), to follow my 
instructions, because I told my master that his help would be sufficient, and 
I knew he had a tenderness for me.
In his company my first business was to go to that part of the coast where my 
rebellious crew had ordered me to be set on shore. I got upon a height, and 
looking on every side into the sea, fancied I saw a small island towards the 
north-east. I took out my pocket-glass, and could then clearly distinguish it 
about five leagues off, as I computed, but it appeared to the sorrel nag to be 
only a blue cloud; for, as he had no conception of any country beside his own, 
so he could not be as expert in distinguishing remote objects at sea as we who 
so much converse in that element.
After I had discovered this island I considered no further, but resolved it 
should, if possible, be the first place of my banishment, leaving the 
consequence to fortune.
I returned home, and, consulting with the sorrel nag, we went into a copse at 
some distance, where I with my knife and he with a sharp flint fastened very 
artificially, after their manner, to a wooden handle, cut down several oak 
wattles about the thickness of a walking-staff and some larger pieces. But I 
shall not trouble the reader with a particular description of my own 
mechanics; let it suffice to say that in six weeks' time, with the help of the 
sorrel nag, who performed the parts that required most labour, I finished a 
sort of Indian canoe, but much larger, covering it with the skins of Yahoos, 
well stitched together with hempen threads of my own making. My sail was 
likewise composed of the skins of the same animal; but I made use of the 
youngest I could get, the older being too tough and thick, and I likewise 
provided myself with four paddles. I laid in a stock of boiled flesh of 
rabbits and fowls, and took with me two vessels, one filled with milk and the 
other with water.
I tried my canoe in a large pond near my master's house, and then corrected in 
it what was amiss, stopping all the chinks with Yahoo's tallow till I found it 
stanch and able to bear me and my freight; and when it was as complete as I 
could possibly make it I had it drawn on a carriage very gently by Yahoos to 
the seaside, under the conduct of the sorrel nag and another servant.
When all was ready and the day come for my departure, I took leave of my 
master and lady and the whole family, mine eyes flowing with tears and my 
heart quite sunk with grief. But his Honour, out of curiosity, and perhaps (if 
i may speak it without vanity) partly out of kindness, was determined to see 
me in my canoe, and got several of his neighbouring friends to accompany him. 
I was forced to wait above an hour for the tide, and then, observing the wind 
very fortunately bearing towards the island to which I intended to steer my 
course, I took a second leave of my master; but as I was going to prostrate 
myself to kiss his hoof, he did me the honour to raise it gently to my mouth. 
I am not ignorant how much I have been censured for mentioning this last 
particular, for my detractors are pleased to think it improbable that so 
illustrious a person should descend to give so great a mark of distinction to 
a creature so inferior as I; neither have I forgot how apt some travellers are 
to boast of extraordinary favours they have received. But if these censurers 
were better acquainted with the noble and courteous disposition of the 
Houyhnhnms they would soon change their opinion.
I paid my respects to the rest of the Houyhnhnms in his Honour's company, 
then, getting into my canoe, I pushed off from shore.


Chapter 38

The Author's dangerous voyage. He arrives at New Holland, hoping to settle 
there. Is wounded with an arrow by one of the natives. Is seized and carried 
by force into a Portuguese ship. The great civilities of the captain. The 
Author arrives in England.


I began this desperate voyage on February 18, 1718, at 9 o'clock in the 
morning. The wind was very favourable; however, I made use at first only of my 
paddles, but, considering I should soon be weary, and that the wind might chop 
about, I ventured to set up my little sail, and thus, with the help of the 
tide, I went at the rate of a league and a half an hour, as near as I could 
guess. My master and his friends continued on the shore till I was almost out 
of sight, and I often heard the sorrel nag (who always loved me) crying out, 
"Hnuy illa nyha majah Yahoo" (Take care of thyself, gentle Yahoo).
My design was, if possible, to discover some small island uninhabited, yet 
sufficient by my labour to furnish me with the necessities of life, which I 
would have thought a greater happiness than to be first Minister in the 
politest Court of Europe, so horrible was the idea I conceived of returning to 
live in the society and under the government of Yahoos. For in such a solitude 
as I desired I could at least enjoy my own thoughts, and reflect with delight 
on the virtues of those inimitable Houyhnhnms, without any opportunity of 
degenerating into the vices and corruptions of my own species.
The reader may remember what I related when my crew conspired against me and 
confined me to my cabin, how I continued there several weeks without knowing 
what course we took, and, when I was put ashore in the longboat, how the 
sailors told me with oaths, whether true or false, that they knew not in what 
part of the world we were. However, I did then believe us to be about ten 
degrees southward of the Cape of Good Hope, or about forty-five degrees 
southern latitude, as I gathered from some general words I overheard among 
them, being, I supposed, to the south-east in their intended voyage to 
Madagascar. And although this were but little better than conjecture, yet I 
resolved to steer my course eastward, hoping to reach the south-west coast of 
New Holland, and perhaps some such island as I desired, lying westward of it. 
The wind was full west, and by six in the evening I computed I had gone 
eastward at least eighteen leagues, when I spied a very small island about 
half a league off, which I soon reached. It was nothing but a rock with one 
creek naturally arched by the force of tempests. Here I put in my canoe, and, 
climbing up a part of the rock, I could plainly discover land to the east, 
extending from south to north. I lay all night in my canoe, and, repeating my 
voyage early in the morning, I arrived in seven hours to the south-east point 
of New Holland. This confirmed me in the opinion I have long entertained that 
the maps and charts place this country at least three degrees more to the east 
than it really is, which thought I communicated many years ago to my worthy 
friend Mr. Herman Moll, and gave him my reasons for it, although he has rather 
chosen to follow other authors.
I saw no inhabitants in the place where I landed, and being unarmed, I was 
afraid of venturing far into the country. I found some shell-fish on the 
shore, and ate them raw, not daring to kindle a fire, for fear of being 
discovered by the natives. I continued three days feeding on oysters and 
limpets, to save my own provisions, and I fortunately found a brook of 
excellent water, which gave me great relief.
On the fourth day, venturing out early a little too far, I saw twenty or 
thirty natives upon a height not above five hundred yards from me. They were 
stark naked, men, women, and children, round a fire, as I could discover by 
the smoke. One of them spied me and gave notice to the rest; five of them 
advanced towards me, leaving the women and children at the fire. I made what 
haste I could to the shore, and, getting into my canoe, shoved off; the 
savages, observing me retreat, ran after me, and before I could get far enough 
into the sea, discharged an arrow, which wounded me deeply on the inside of my 
left knee (I shall carry the mark to my grave). I apprehended the arrow might 
be poisoned, and, paddling out of the reach of their darts (being a calm day), 
I made a shift to suck the wound, and dress it as well as I could.
I was at a loss what to do, for I dare not return to the same landing-place, 
but stood to the north, and was forced to paddle, for the wind, though very 
gentle, was against me, blowing north-west. As I was looking about for a 
secure landing-place, I saw a sail to the north-north-east, which, appearing 
every minute more visible, I was in some doubt whether I should wait for them 
or no, but at last my detestation of the Yahoo race prevailed, and, turning my 
canoe, I sailed and paddled together to the south, and got into the same creek 
from whence I set out in the morning, choosing rather to trust myself among 
these barbarians than live with European Yahoos. I drew up my canoe as close 
as I could to the shore, and hid myself behind a stone by a little brook, 
which, as I have already said, was excellent water.
The ship came within half a league of this creek, and sent out her longboat 
with vessels to take in fresh water (for the place, it seems, was very well 
known), but I did not observe it till the boat was almost on shore, and it was 
too late to seek another hiding-place. The seamen, at their landing, observed 
my canoe, and, rummaging it all over, easily conjectured that the owner could 
not be far off. Four of them, well-armed, searched every cranny and lurking-
hole, till at last they found me flat on my face behind a stone. They gazed 
awhile in admiration at my strange, uncouth dress: my coat made of skins, my 
wooden-soled shoes, and my fur stockings; from whence, however, they concluded 
I was not a native of the place, who all go naked. One of the seamen in 
Portuguese bid me rise, and asked who I was. I understood the language very 
well, and, getting upon my feet, said I was a poor Yahoo banished from the 
Houyhnhnms, and desired they would please to let me depart. They admired to 
hear me answer them in their own tongue, and saw by my complexion I must be a 
European; but were at a loss to know what I meant by Yahoos and Houyhnhnms, 
and at the same time fell a-laughing at my strange tone in speaking, which 
resembled the neighing of a horse. I trembled all the while betwixt fear and 
hatred; I again desired leave to depart, and was gently moving to my canoe, 
but they laid hold on me, desiring to know what country I was of, whence I 
came, with many other questions. I told them I was born in England, from 
whence I came about five years ago, and then their country and ours were at 
peace. I therefore hoped they would not treat me as an enemy, since I meant 
them no harm, but was a poor Yahoo seeking some desolate place where to pass 
the remainder of his unfortunate life.
When they began to talk I thought I never heard or saw anything so unnatural, 
for it appeared to me as monstrous as if a dog or a cow should speak in 
England, as a Yahoo in Houyhnhnm Land. The honest Portuguese were equally 
amazed at my strange dress and odd manner of delivering my words, which, 
however, they understood very well. They spoke to me with great humanity, and 
said they were sure their captain would carry me gratis to Lisbon, from whence 
I might return to my own country; that two of the seamen would go back to the 
ship, inform the captain of what they had seen, and receive his orders; in the 
meantime, unless I would give my solemn oath not to fly, they would secure me 
by force. I thought it best to comply with their proposal. They were very 
curious to know my story, but I gave them very little satisfaction, and they 
all conjectured that my misfortunes had impaired my reason. In two hours the 
boat, which went laden with vessels of water, returned with the captain's 
commands to fetch me on board. I fell on my knees to preserve my liberty, but 
all was in vain; and the men, having tied me with cords, heaved me into the 
boat, from whence I was taken into the ship, and from thence into the 
captain's cabin.
His name was Pedro de Mendez; he was a very courteous and generous person; he 
entreated me to give some account of myself, and desired to know what I would 
eat or drink; said I should be used as well as himself, and spoke so many 
obliging things that I wondered to find such civilities from a Yahoo. However, 
I remained silent and sullen; I was ready to faint at the very smell of him 
and his men. At last I desired something to eat out of my own canoe, but he 
ordered me a chicken and some excellent wine, and then directed that I should 
be put to bed in a very clean cabin. I would not undress myself, but lay on 
the bedclothes, and in half an hour stole out when I thought the crew was at 
dinner, and, getting to the side of the ship, was going to leap into the sea 
and swim for my life, rather than continue among Yahoos. But one of the seamen 
prevented me, and, having informed the captain, I was chained to my cabin.
After dinner Don Pedro came to me, and desired to know my reason for so 
desperate an attempt; assured me he only meant to do me all the service he was 
able, and spoke so very movingly that at last I descended to treat him like an 
animal that had some little portion of reason. I gave him a very short 
relation of my voyage, of the conspiracy against me by my own men, of the 
country where they set me on shore, and of my three years' residence there -
all which he looked upon as if it were a dream or a vision, whereat I took 
great offence; for I had quite forgot the faculty of lying, so peculiar to 
Yahoos in all countries where they preside, and consequently the disposition 
of suspecting truth in others of their own species. I asked him whether it 
were the custom in his country to say the thing that was not. I assured him I 
had almost forgotten what he meant by falsehood, and if I had lived a thousand 
years in Houyhnhnmland, I should never have heard a lie from the meanest 
servant; that I was altogether indifferent whether he believed me or no; but, 
however, in return for his favours, I would give so much allowance to the 
corruption of his nature as to answer any objection he would please to make, 
and then he might easily discover the truth.
The captain, a wise man, after many endeavours to catch me tripping in some 
part of my story, at last began to have a better opinion of my veracity, and 
the rather because he confessed he met with a Dutch skipper who pretended to 
have landed with five others of his crew upon a certain island or continent 
south of New Holland, where they went for fresh water, and observed a horse 
driving before him several animals exactly resembling those I described under 
the name of Yahoos, with some other particulars which the captain said he had 
forgot, because he then concluded them all to be lies. But he added that, 
since I professed so inviolable an attachment to truth, I must give him my 
word of honour to bear him company in this voyage without attempting anything 
against my life, or else he would continue me a prisoner till we arrived at 
Lisbon. I gave him the promise he required; but at the same time protested 
that I would suffer the greatest hardships rather than return to live among 
Yahoos.
Our voyage passed without any considerable accident. In gratitude to the 
captain I sometimes sat with him at his earnest request, and strove to conceal 
my antipathy to human kind, although it often broke out, which he suffered to 
pass without observation. But the greatest part of the day I confined myself 
to my cabin, to avoid seeing any of the crew. The captain had often entreated 
me to strip myself of my savage dress, and offered to lend me the best suit of 
clothes he had. This I would not be prevailed on to accept, abhorring to cover 
myself with anything that had been on the back of a Yahoo. I only desired he 
would lend me two clean shirts, which, having been washed since he wore them, 
I believed would not so much defile me. These I changed every second day and 
washed them myself.
We arrived at Lisbon, November 8, 1718. At our landing the captain forced me 
to cover myself with his cloak, to prevent the rabble from crowding about me. 
I was conveyed to his own house, and, at my earnest request, he led me up to 
the highest room backwards. I conjured him to conceal from all persons what I 
had told him of the Houyhnhnms, because the least hint of such a story would 
not only draw numbers of people to see me, but probably put me in danger of 
being imprisoned or burnt by the Inquisition. The captain persuaded me to 
accept a suit of clothes newly made, but I would not suffer the tailor to take 
my measure; however, Don Pedro being almost of my size, they fitted me well 
enough. He accoutred me with other necessaries, all new, which I aired for 
twenty-four hours before I would use them.
The captain had no wife, nor above three servants, none of which were suffered 
to attend at meals, and his whole deportment was so obliging, added to the 
very good human understanding, that I really began to tolerate his company. He 
gained so far upon me that I ventured to look out of the back window. By 
degrees I was brought into another room, from whence I peeped into the street, 
but drew my head back in a fright. In a week's time he seduced me down to the 
door. I found my terror gradually lessened, but my hatred and contempt seemed 
to increase. I was at last bold enough to walk the street in his company, but 
kept my nose well stopped with rue, or sometimes with tobacco.
In ten days Don Pedro, to whom I had given some account of my domestic 
affairs, put it upon me as a matter of honour and conscience that I ought to 
return to my native country and live at home with my wife and children. He 
told me there was an English ship in port just ready to sail, and he would 
furnish me with all things necessary. It would be tedious to repeat his 
arguments and my contradictions. He said it was altogether impossible to find 
such a solitary island as I had desired to live in; but I might command in my 
own house, and pass my time in a manner as recluse as I pleased.
I complied at last, finding I could not do better. I left Lisbon on the 24th 
day of November in an English merchantman, but who was the master I never 
inquired. Don Pedro accompanied me to the ship, and lent me twenty pounds. He 
took kind leave of me, and embraced me at parting, which I bore as well as I 
could. During the last voyage I had no commerce with the master or any of his 
men, but, pretending I was sick, kept close in my cabin. On the 8th of 
December, 1718, we cast anchor in the Downs about nine in the morning, and at 
three in the afternoon I got safe to my house at Rotherhithe.
My wife and family received me with great surprise and joy, because they 
concluded me certainly dead; but I must freely confess the sight of them 
filled me only with hatred, disgust, and contempt, and the more by reflecting 
on the near alliance I had to them. For although since my unfortunate exile 
from the Houyhnhnm country I had compelled myself to tolerate the sight of 
Yahoos, and to converse with Don Pedro de Mendez, yet my memory and 
imaginations were perpetually filled with the virtues and ideas of those 
exalted Houyhnhnms. And when I began to consider that by copulating with one 
of the Yahoo species I became a parent of more, it struck me with the utmost 
shame, confusion, and horror.
As soon as I entered the house, my wife took me in her arms and kissed me, at 
which, having not been used to the touch of that odious animal for so many 
years, I fell in a swoon for almost an hour. At the time I am writing it is 
five years since my last return to England; during the first year I could not 
endure my wife or children in my presence -the very smell of them was 
intolerable -much less could I suffer them to eat in the same room. To this 
hour they dare not presume to touch my bread or drink out of the same cup, 
neither was I ever able to let one of them take me by the hand. The first 
money I laid out was to buy two young stone-horses, which I kept in a good 
stable, and next to them the groom is my greatest favourite, for I feel my 
spirits revived by the smell he contracts in the stable. My horses understand 
me tolerably well; I converse with them at least four hours every day. They 
are strangers to bridle or saddle; they live in great amity with me and 
friendship to each other.


Chapter 39

The Author's veracity. His design in publishing this work. His censure of 
those travellers who swerve from the truth. The Author clears himself from any 
sinister ends in writing. An objection answered. The method of planting 
colonies. His native country commended. The right of the Crown to those 
countries described by the Author is justified. The difficulty of conquering 
them. The Author takes his last leave of the reader; proposes his manner of 
living for the future, gives good advice, and concludes.


Thus, gentle reader, I have given you a faithful history of my travels for 
sixteen years and above seven months, wherein I have not been so studious of 
ornament as truth. I could perhaps, like others, have astonished you with 
strange, improbable tales; but I rather chose to relate plain matter of fact 
in the simplest manner and style, because my principal design was to inform, 
and not to amuse you.
It is easy for us who travel into remote countries, which are seldom visited 
by Englishmen or other Europeans, to form descriptions of wonderful animals 
both at sea and land; whereas a traveller's chief aim should be to make men 
wiser and better, and to improve their minds by the bad as well as good 
example of what he delivers concerning foreign places.
I could heartily wish a law was enacted that every traveller, before he were 
permitted to publish his voyages, should be obliged to make oath before the 
Lord High Chancellor that all he intended to print was absolutely true to the 
best of his knowledge, for then the world would no longer be deceived, as it 
usually is; while some writers, to make their works pass the better upon the 
public, impose the grossest falsities on the unwary reader. I have perused 
several books of travels with great delight in my younger days, but having 
since gone over most parts of the globe, and been able to contradict many 
fabulous accounts from my own observation, it has given me a great disgust 
against this part of reading, and some indignation to see the credulity of 
mankind so impudently abused. Therefore, since my acquaintances were pleased 
to think my poor endeavours might not be unacceptable to my country, I imposed 
on myself as a maxim never to be swerved from, that I would strictly adhere to 
truth; neither, indeed, can I be ever under the least temptations to vary from 
it while I retain in my mind the lectures and examples of my noble master and 
the other illustrious Houyhnhnms of whom I had so long the honour to be a 
humble hearer.

Nec si miserum fortuna Sinonem
Finxit, vanum etiam, mendacemque improba finget.

I know very well how little reputation is to be got by writings which require 
neither genius nor learning, nor indeed any other talent except a good memory 
or an exact journal. I know likewise the writers of travels, like dictionary-
makers, are sunk into oblivion by the weight and bulk of those who come after, 
and therefore lie uppermost. And it is highly probable that such travellers 
who shall hereafter visit the countries described in this work of mine may, by 
detecting my errors (if there be any) and adding many new discoveries of their 
own, jostle me out of vogue, and stand in my place, making the world forget 
that I was ever an author. This, indeed, would be too great a mortification if 
I wrote for fame, but, as my sole intention was the public good, I cannot be 
altogether disappointed. For who can read of the virtues I have mentioned in 
the glorious Houyhnhnms without being ashamed of his own vices, when he 
considers himself as the reasoning, governing animal of his country? I shall 
say nothing of those remote nations where Yahoos preside, amongst which the 
least corrupted are the Brobdingnagians, whose wise maxims in morality and 
government it would be our happiness to observe. But I forbear descanting 
farther, and rather leave the judicious reader to his own remarks and 
applications.
I am not a little pleased that this work of mine can possibly meet with no 
censurers, for what objections can be made against a writer who relates only 
plain facts that happened in such distant countries, where we have not the 
least interest with respect either to trade or negotiations? I have carefully 
avoided every fault with which common writers of travels are often too justly 
charged. Besides, I meddle not with any party, but write without passion, 
prejudice, or ill-will against any man or number of men whatsoever. I write 
for the noblest end, to inform and instruct mankind, over whom I may, without 
breach of modesty, pretend to some superiority from the advantages I received 
by conversing so long among the most accomplished Houyhnhnms. I write without 
any view towards profit or praise. I never suffer a word to pass that may look 
like reflection, or possibly give the least offence even to those who are most 
ready to take it. So that I hope I may with justice pronounce myself an author 
perfectly blameless, against whom the tribes of answerers, considerers, 
observers, reflectors, detectors, remarkers, will never be able to find matter 
for exercising their talents.
I confess it was whispered to me that I was bound in duty as a subject of 
England to have given in a memorial to a Secretary of State at my first coming 
over, because whatever lands are discovered by a subject belong to the Crown. 
But I doubt whether our conquests in the countries I treat of would be as easy 
as those of Ferdinando Cortez over the naked Americans. The Lilliputians, I 
think, are hardly worth the charge of a fleet and army to reduce them, and I 
question whether it might be prudent or safe to attempt the Brobdingnagians, 
or whether an English army would be much at their ease with the Flying Island 
over their heads. The Houyhnhnms, indeed, appear not to be so well prepared 
for war, a science to which they are perfect strangers, and especially against 
missive weapons. However, supposing myself to be a Minister of State, I could 
never give my advice for invading them. Their prudence, unanimity, 
unacquaintedness with fear, and their love of their country, would amply 
supply all defects in the military art. Imagine twenty-thousand of them 
breaking into the midst of a European army, confounding the ranks, overturning 
the carriages, battering the warriors' faces into mummy, by terrible yerks 
from their hinder-hoofs; for they would well deserve the character given to 
Augustus, "Recalcitrat undique tutus." But instead of proposals for conquering 
that magnanimous nation, I rather wish they were in a capacity or disposition 
to send a sufficient number of their inhabitants for civilising Europe, by 
teaching us the first principles of honour, justice, truth, temperance, public 
spirit, fortitude, chastity, friendship, benevolence, and fidelity. The names 
of all which virtues are still retained among us in most languages, and are to 
be met with in some modern as well as ancient authors, which I am able to 
assert from my own small reading.
But I had another reason which made me less forward to enlarge his Majesty's 
dominions by my discovery. To say the truth, I had conceived a few scruples 
with relation to the distributive justice of Princes upon those occasions. For 
instance, a crew of pirates are driven by a storm they know not whither; at 
length a boy discovers land from the topmast; they go on shore to rob and 
plunder; they see a harmless people, are entertained with kindness; they give 
the country a new name; they take formal possession of it for their King; they 
set up a rotten plank or a stone for memorial; they murder two or three dozen 
of the natives, bring away a couple by force for a sample, return home and get 
their pardon. Here commences a new dominion acquired with a title by Divine 
right. Ships are sent with the first opportunity, the natives driven out or 
destroyed, their Princes tortured to discover their gold, a free license given 
to all acts of inhumanity and lust, the earth reeking with the blood of its 
inhabitants, and this execrable crew of butchers, employed in so pious an 
expedition, is a modern colony sent to convert and civilise an idolatrous and 
barbarous people.
But this description, I confess, doth by no means affect the British nation, 
who may be an example to the whole world for their wisdom, care, and justice 
in planting colonies; their liberal endowments for the advancement of religion 
and learning; their choice of devout and able pastors to propagate 
Christianity; their caution in stocking their provinces with people of sober 
lives and conversations from this the mother kingdom; their strict regard to 
the distribution of justice in supplying the civil administration through all 
their colonies with officers of the greatest abilities, utter strangers to 
corruption; and, to crown all, by sending the most vigilant and virtuous 
governors, who have no other views than the happiness of the people over whom 
they preside and the honour of the King their master.
But as those countries which I have described do not appear to have a desire 
of being conquered and enslaved, murdered or driven out by colonies, nor 
abound either in gold, silver, sugar, or tobacco, I did humbly conceive they 
were by no means proper objects of our zeal, our valour, or our interest. 
However, if those whom it may concern think fit to be of another opinion I am 
ready to depose, when I shall be lawfully called, that no European did ever 
visit these countries before me. I mean, if the inhabitants ought to be 
believed, unless a dispute may arise about the two Yahoos said to have been 
seen many ages ago on a mountain in Houyhnhnmland, from whence the opinion is 
that the race of those brutes has descended; and these, for anything I know, 
may have been English, which, indeed, I was apt to suspect from the lineaments 
of their posterity's countenances, although very much defaced. But how far 
that will go to make out a title I leave to the learned in colony law.
But as to the formality of taking possession in my Sovereign's name, it never 
came once into my thoughts, and if it had, yet, as my affairs then stood, I 
should, perhaps, in point of prudence and self-preservation, have put it off 
to a better opportunity.
Having thus answered the only objection that can ever be raised against me as 
a traveller, I here take my final leave of all my courteous readers, and 
return to enjoy my own speculations in my little garden at Redriff, to apply 
those excellent lessons of virtue which I learned among the Houyhnhnms, to 
instruct the Yahoos of my own family as far as I shall find them docile 
animals, to behold my figure open in a glass, and thus, if possible, habituate 
myself by time to tolerate the sight of a human creature; to lament the 
brutality of the Houyhnhnms in my own country, but always treat their persons 
with respect for the sake of my noble master, his family, his friends, and the 
whole Houyhnhnm race, whom these of ours have the honour to resemble in all 
their lineaments, however their intellectuals came to degenerate.
I began last week to permit my wife to sit at dinner with me at the farthest 
end of a long table, and to answer (but with the utmost brevity) the few 
questions I asked her. Yet, the smell of a Yahoo continuing very offensive, I 
always keep my nose well stopped with rue, lavender, or tobacco leaves. And 
although it be hard for a man late in life to remove old habits, I am not 
altogether out of hopes in some time to suffer a neighbour Yahoo in my company 
without the apprehensions I am yet under of his teeth or his claws.
My reconcilement to the Yahoo kind in general might not be so difficult if 
they would be content with those vices and follies only which Nature hath 
entitled them to. I am not in the least provoked at the sight of a lawyer, a 
pick-pocket, a colonel, a fool, a lord, a gamester, a politician, a whore-
master, a physician, an evidence, a suborner, an attorney, a traitor, or the 
like. This is all according to the due course of things; but when I behold a 
lump of deformity and diseases both in body and mind, smitten with pride, it 
immediately breaks all the measures of my patience; neither shall I be ever 
able to comprehend how such an animal and such a vice could tally together. 
The wise and virtuous Houyhnhnms, who abound in all excellences that can adorn 
a rational creature, have no name for this vice in their language, which hath 
no terms to express anything that is evil, except those whereby they describe 
the detestable qualities of their Yahoos, among which they were not able to 
distinguish this of pride for want of thoroughly understanding human nature, 
as it shows itself in other countries where the animal presides. But I, who 
had more experience, could plainly observe some rudiments of it among the wild 
Yahoos.
But the Houyhnhnms, who live under the government of reason, are no more proud 
of the good qualities they possess than I should be for not wanting a leg or 
an arm, which no man in his wits would boast of, although he must be miserable 
without them. I dwell the longer upon this subject from the desire I have to 
make the society of an English Yahoo by any means not insupportable, and 
therefore I here entreat those who have any tincture of this absurd vice that 
they will not presume to come in my sight.

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