You Know It's  When...as told by Michelle Samson
The first thing you shold know of my list You Know It's Hot
When...is that everything had happened to or was witnessed by
myself and my friends at cadet camp.
Now I'll give you a little background on this. Most of this is referred from
myself and 4 of my friends. Other things from my friends from camp and others from
home too.This cadet camp is Camp Argonaut, part of CFB Gagetown in New Brunswick, Canada
We were on the 2 week Basic course (or AKA twinkie) Like I mentioned before, all these things actually
happened, seriously. It goes to show you just how weird you can get when you're that hot.
It was so hot most of the time that orders from HQ (head quarters) were that the staff wasn't
allowed to make the cadets do anything, especially drill. So for most of that time we either
stayed in our barracks or stayed on the veranda with the rest of our platoon, shining our
dress boots. And I used to wonder why most of the second year cadets had really good boots,
at camp you can hardly do anything but shine your boots.
Alright, finishing off I'll tell you again that they're all true, no matter how weird
it seems. For those that are slightly stretched I'll put a star, like so * next to. So read
on and enjoy! :o)
1.Your shoes melt and stick to the pavement if you stay in one spot too long.
2.Out of the blue you start yelling "BAWK BAWK BAWK CHICAAAN!"
3.You have to drink 2L of water per hour but only have the energy to drink 1/2L
4.Your glasses fog up when you enter a building
5.You slap your theighs to see flubber roll
6.The person on the bottom bunk is pushing you up and down(the beds are only a thin mattress
with springs AKA Bed Bouncing) and you don't mind because you're getting air.
*7.You eat hot pizza and not care because you're not getting any hotter
8.You walk into a mirror thinking its a door
9.They keep chocolate bars in the freezer but it still melts before you get half way through it
10.Your shorts look like seran wrap on your legs
11.Slushies just aren't slush anymore ~sniff~
*12.They have to hose you down so that they don't get sued
13.Even the short short-shorts don't cool you down
14.You write the same number twice (can be seen on the first copy of this list)
*15. You're so sunburned that when you lay on the red blankets no one can tell the difference
16.The lights are kept off to keep the heat level down
17.You plug your nose, hitting your throat singing an army song
18.You swing from the rafters to get air
19You try to kick the pop machine because it stole your money but you can't
20.You write letters on the washing machine cause it makes the writing look cool
21.So many people use the pop machine that it has a sign on it that says "use @own risk"
*22.Your @ss is burning from the acid in the porta-potties (reffered to by my *cough*Sgt)
*23.You take a shower (hot) and not care,thinking it's not that much hotter
24.You spill Jello and it melts on your tray
25.The wedgie won't come out because there's too much sucktion
26.Your hair forever looks wet
27.Your feet get majorly wrinkled inside the wool socks
28.The sugar melts off your fuzzy peaches
*29.Who needs to wet the shoe polish for your boots, its already melting
30.You walk into the same pole 3 days in a row
31.You're too tired to get up on the top bunk so you sleep on the 4 barracks boxes
32.You change in front of the window while 100 people are marching by (and don't care)
33.You fill your canteen with cold water but by the time you drink it, its warm
34.You jump in the mud voluntarily
35.You get a funny rash and have no clue what it is
36.You give someone your canteen to drink from, but when they drink from it you ask "are you
drinking from that?"
37.You hear a loud noise you say "ow!"
38.You have trouble getting dressed again after you use the bathroom
39.You go to look ot the door but hit your head on the door frame
40.Bra parades take place every night
41.A whole room of people are apoligizing for stinking "give me a hug...sorry I stink"
42.You're trying to move around in your bed but you're taking all the blankets with you
43.You walk a *stuffed* dog on a leash
*44.Even swimming in the St.John's river is inviting (note:the St.John river is the most
polluted river in Canada and thats where we go canoeing)
45.You don't put on the screen blanket in fear it will make you warmer
46.You find the one good advantage of short dress pants
47.Your formerly dry *separated* candies become one big mushy blob
48.The plastic mats you have to lay on are burning your skin
*49. On the parade square, 3 canteens aren't enough
*50.The shoe polish melts off your parade boots
51.You put a stamp on the wrong side of the envelope
52.The melt in your mouth, not in your hand slogan for M&M's have no meaning
53.You put so much baby powder down your shirt that when someone pats you on the back, clouds
come out of your sleeves
54.Someone asks if you're crying because of the sweat under your eyes
55.You want to go home to life in the fog
56.You want to go to that beach down home where the water is just as cold in the summer as in
the winter
57.The pen you're writing with starts slipping out of your hand
58.Your glasses are slipping off your nose
59.You can see heat waves comng from your skin
60.You start screaming at the color of everything (in this case everything is green and grey)
61.You yell at people to take off their jacket
62.You'd be much better off buttering your toast with a spoon
63.You put your hand anywhere near the window and it fogs up
64.You bang your head on the window while driving by the liquer store (no names mentioned)
65.You lay back in the seat repeating over and over "I'm going to die"
66.You're too hot to take off your jacket
67.Every time you wipe sweat off your face you say grrrrr!
68.You flirt with a loser and not realise it
69.It rains and all you can see is steam
70.You and another person cary on a conversation of Uh Oh's (just an update of this, that person
and I still do that for the #ell of it)
71.You try to stab people with your keys
72.You repeatedly steal someones stuffed cow
The following points happened while I was at Camp Vernon in BC. This year they sent one Cadet Leader company from Argonaut and sent them to Vernon. My company this year was Foxtrot, the atlantic company. So even though I was in BC, the people in my company were from my region. This course is 6 weeks long but I had a great time and met plenty new and crazy people.
73.While greeting someone in the evening you say good morning
74.You steal cough drops when you don't have a cold
75.You feel crappy and happy and therefore repeatedly say "Crappy Happy"
76.1 toe falls asleep
*77. 10 min after a shower you smell like a locker room again
78.You're so desperate, you'll wear the horrid grey shorts
79.Baby powder is your one true friend
80.You forget letters and words much too often while writing
81.Almost the whole company buys handhold fans
82.Anything that touches your skin for a while becomes damp from sweat (watches)
83.The windows are always open day or night...rain or shine
84.Your shoe polish shrinks
85.You repeatedly think the same bottle of bug spray in your pocket is a marker
86.You walk into a locker and only really realise a min later
87.Your favorite game starts with "Do you want to buy a duck?"
You Know It's  When...the dreadful mornings at cadet camp
You might be thinking "What the #ell! First this girl is saying how hot it is and now how cold!"
Well, as strange as it may seem, at 6:00AM it is absolutely freezing! It's only a couple hours
that the sun starts giving off some force. Until then everyone is standing in line outside waiting
to get breakfast in shorts and t-shirts thinking their body parts are going to fall off.
1. You wrap a towel around your neck during the night to get more heat.
2.Body parts fall asleep during the night
3.Goosebumps are huge and the hair on your arms and legs stick straight out
4.You shake so much you can't open your combination lock
5.The wool socks can't help your feet from getting numb
6.You purposely dirty your issued clothes so that you can wear civilians and have to wrap a
blanket around yourself
*7.You run around on the floor to help your feet from staying in one place for too long
*8.You teeth clatter so much that people are looking around to see where that sound is coming from
9.You can see your breath plain and clear (during the summer and inside the building)
10. You wear a poncho to keep warm
11.You're begging to sleep with someone(don't get any ideas!)
12.You literally go outside to warm up(hey, anythings worth a shot)
13.You wrap your coveralls AKA Monkey Suit, around your head
14.You're warming up your hands with a blow dryer
15.Cold water seems to be warming up your hands
16.You tie a sweater around yourself backwards to keep warm
17.You don't mind (and almost prefer) sharing a towel
18.You create a 2 person dance with the towel
19. Sitting between a cardboard box and a metal tub seems to be warmer
 any questions, comments or concerns can be sent to:
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