//The shitty thing about death,// Mulder decided, //is that you
*know* that you're dead.//
He was acutely aware of his own state of being - or not being, as
the case was. And as there was really nothing better for him to do, he
spent his eternity endlessly listing his regrets; and all of the ones near the
top had to do with his ex-partner: never telling her exactly what she meant
to him, never admitting that he'd felt guilty about the women she'd caught
him with (whether anything was happening or not), never buying her a real
gift that she could hold on to and know that it came straight from his
heart...
And then there was the grief of Samantha. Would Scully take up
his quest and find his sister for him? Hell, what was he thinking? Scully
was dying herself. She didn't have time to worry about his long lost sister.
She was going to end up like him, like all of the other people he'd
come into contact with - in a blank nothingness that stretched out into
infinity. And he wasn't even going to be reunited with her in the afterlife -
since now he was pretty sure there was an afterlife - because there was just
*nothing* there. No spirits, no god, no possibility of parole for good
behavior...
//Those Jehovah's Witnesses are wasting their time.//
After Scully'd had her near-death experience, she'd described feeling
an overpowering sense of contentment and tranquility. All Mulder felt
was depressed. And pissed. And a wonderful smoothing sensation
somewhere around his feet.
//Feet?//
His eyes cracked open without him consciously trying to do so, and
the yellow glow of the morning sun caught in the fiery red of her hair. The
image of her sitting cross-legged at the foot of the bed with his
feet in her lap seared into his brain. She was wearing a dark shirt that
burned white into the negative image on the inside of his eyelids. Her head
was down in concentration as she rubbed some sort of salve into the sole of
his left foot, and the faint breeze that swept cool over his lotioned body
tossed the strands of her hair that covered her face.
Mulder thought his heart was going to burst in his chest. And that
thought over joyed him, because it meant he was alive.
He forced his eyes open again, needing to reassure himself that she was
real and he was real and that the image he'd seen wasn't some sort of
dementia brought on by...well, by being dead. But she was there, working
her thumb into the arch of his foot, smoothing in the clear pasty gel that
she scooped from a wide-mouthed jar. Her hands were slick with it,
and briefly Mulder fantasized about her naked and covered with the stuff.
That's when he noticed that he was lying on the bed in their bungalow,
naked and covered with the stuff. Completely covered. Inclusively. A
small hand towel was laying across his groin area; apparently Scully had
decided that was all the modesty he needed.
Finishing with his left foot, she placed it carefully on the bed and
shifted the right into her lap, glancing up briefly to check on him, and
obviously not expecting any real changes in his condition. When she saw
him peering back at her she jumped, startled. Then a beautiful wide smile
spread over her face.
"There you are." She slipped off the foot of the bed and pulled a
chair up next to him. He could feel her hot breath on his slicked cheek
when she asked, "How are you feeling?"
Mulder tried to tell her he felt like death warmed over, but he
couldn't get his mouth and breathing to work in tandem. All he was able to
get out was a squashed, "Uugha." He rolled his eyes over so that he could
see the concerned expression on her face, but he couldn't move his head or
neck. His body was too heavy and his brain was too tired.
"You've been through a lot, Mulder. Just try to rest."
He looked into her eyes, wanting to tell her everything that he
hadn't before, so there would be no doubt for her ever again. She seemed
to see and understand, and her face grew long and pale and her eyes
watered a little.
"Uh... You lost the top two layers of your epidermis from just
about 100 percent of your body from what I can tell. The salve I'm coating
you with will keep the new skin from drying and cracking, and should keep
the scarring down. I don't know if it'll help with the itching or not..."
Mulder closed his eyes. He had to tell her. She saw but she didn't
hear. He had to say the words. The need pressed firmly against the inside
of his chest and erupted on his slimy lips in a harsh whisper: "Ssscuuul..."
She moved closer to him, he knew, because he could feel the
mattress bending under her weight. He could feel the heat of her breath on
the side of his face. It was euphoric to have sensations again.
"Scuul," he started again, forcing himself to concentrate on the
words; refusing to allow himself to fail. "Sculllee...luuuv...yooou."
Air rushed back into his lungs and, spent, he slipped back into the
clutches of sleep. There was nothing more he could do, he was simply too
tired. But as he sank, he felt something distinctly warm and wet drop onto
his cheek and work its way down to the opening of his ear.
//I love you, Scully.//
She heard.
Five days later, Mulder was sitting up in the bed, the sheet pulled
defiantly up to bunch at his waist, and his arms firmly crossed above his
pink bare chest. He'd had enough of Scully's babying - not that she actually
babied him; he was sure a prison nurse matron would have a more
empathizing bedside manner. Scully refused to let him scratch, dress, or
even get out of bed for longer than it took to relieve himself in the
bathroom. Not that he was complaining about the sponge baths. Or even
the salve massages - except when she insisted on lathering up even the
crevices that weren't meant to be touched by human hands. She spouted
some nonsense about scarring and healthy skin needing the enzymes in the
gel. But after three days of feeling solidly well again, he'd decided enough
was enough. He could damn well lotion his own privates, thank you very
much.
"Stop being a baby."
"Scully, you know I'm trained in hand to hand combat. Put the jar
down and step back."
And on top of making him lay in the bed even when he was feeling
fine, he was sure she was filtering the information he was getting about
what was happening in Erlona. She answered most of his questions with
one or two words.
"Now, Mulder. Be reasonable. You were dead a couple of days
ago. It takes a long time to recover from something like that." She pulled
the wide cork top from the medicinal jar and sat beside him on the bed.
"I'm not risking your health just because you're bored."
"I'm FINE! I feel great, Scully, and I'm NOT going to let you slop that
shit on me again."
"The new skin will dry and crack if you don't."
"Tell me what happened with Taam."
A frustrated furrow raised Scully's brow and she sighed heavily.
"I'll tell you if you let me slime you."
"You can do my left arm," he tempted, hoping she'd agree to the
compromise.
She studied his face before she turned her attentions to his
arm. "By the time we made it back to the Village, the only sign that she'd
ever been marked was a thin off-color patch where the cut had been. That,
of course, will fade." She spoke slowly as she worked, being sure to knead
the lotion in deeply. Working from his shoulder down to his elbow, she
continued, "When her parents saw her, god Mulder, it was like they'd seen
a miracle. They both fell to their knees and cried and cried..." Her face
remained focused on the work in front of her, but he could tell from the
look in her eyes that she was reliving the event. "They believe that She,
their merciful and just goddess," sarcasm snapped dully over her words,
"returned their daughter to them because they proved their devotion in an
ultimate act of faith."
"You don't buy that, though."
"Mulder, the only thing that save that girl was a group of people who
cared enough to go into the caves to get her, and that Earth Milk pool."
"Speaking of which," Mulder said, stopping her hands to get her
attention, "I want to go back there."
"Forget it."
"If that pool can bring me back to life and heal both your burns and
Taam's injuries, then what's to say that it can't cure you, too?"
Both of her hands flew from him and she sat rigid, obviously trying to
control a flare of anger. "What you're suggesting isn't scientifically possible
-"
"Neither is freezing a man solid only to thaw him and have him as
good as new two days later, and yet..." He raised his arms as if to say,
Look at me.
"No. End of subject." She grabbed him once again and finished down
to the wrist, hand and fingers.
When she reached for the other arm, he jerked it away. "Another
arm, another question."
He knew he was pressing his luck, she still hadn't recovered from
her first bout of anger. She reluctantly growled, "What?"
Placing his right hand in hers he asked, "So why haven't the locals come
knocking on our door and strung us up on the pole yet?" He watched her
work steadily, leveling her emotions as she smoothed the ointment.
"They're convinced that we're sent by their Goddess. That we were
the ones who 'revealed' the lost secret about The Heart to Chea."
"That's not true."
"I know. I think that's what Chea told them, though."
"But why?"
She bit her lip, refusing to say more. For a few minutes she massaged
his biceps and shoulder and he closed his eyes briefly to enjoy the
sensation. God, it was so wonderful to feel again, to be connected
physically to the world around him. And to have her so close, smelling
so...feminine.
She finished abruptly. "'Why' will cost you your chest and stomach."
"Just chest."
"It's a compound answer. I want both." The way she said it made
him feel like he really was giving parts of himself to her. And that erotic
realization sent a bolt of energy straight to his groin. Well, he wasn't going
to worry about losing *that* physical response to the freezing process.
"Then I want to do you, too."
"What? I...uh, I don't need the salve."
"Will it hurt you?"
"No...but there might not be enough..."
"I'll take that risk."
His ultimatum had been laid: she could have him - all of him - but he
wanted her, too. He needed her.
"Chest and stomach?" She seemed almost shy as she considered his
terms, when she had touched and fondled every possible inch of him
repeatedly over the past few days. It was incredible to him how the layers
of her personality kept unraveling, and beneath them there was still more
Scully.
"Chest and stomach and 'why'."
"I think you're getting the better deal."
"So. Refuse me."
The glare in her eye told him that she was going to do no such
thing, and he knew it. She reached for the hem of her shirt to pull it over
her head, but Mulder stopped her. With a light tug at her hips, he pulled
her closer to him.
"Come here." When she was straddling his lap, he ran a long finger
down the side of her questioning face, along her jaw, and finally across the
neckline of her shirt. "I want to." When she didn't move to stop him, he
slowly lifted the shirt up and over her head and arms. She sat on him in her
white, functional bra and waited to see what he would do next. It was
unbelievable, her trust in him. Knowing full well that he had every
intention of turning her medicinal ministrations into a sexual experience for
both of them, and still allowing him to do what he wanted. Letting him
make the first move and set the pace. She was truly amazing.
"Did I tell you that I'm in love with you?" he asked as his finger ran
lightly atop the thin lace trim of her bra.
"Uh...you told me you love me."
"I do." The small, white plastic clasp was staring at him, begging to
be opened. His fingers toyed with it. "But I'm not going to do this if
you're not comfortable-"
"I'm a big girl, Mulder. I can handle myself."
"But can you handle me?"
"I can take anything you can dish out."
Her smile was contagious. "I bet you can." With a flick, the clasp
released and his hands slipped under the cups to hold her bare breasts in his
palms. Her skin was so soft next to his new flesh, and smooth. And her
nipples hardened into tiny pebbles. She watched the play of emotions that
was spilling across his face with urgent fascination.
When the bra was removed completely, he scooped a handful of salve
from the jar. Scully followed and began her ministrations once again.
"I'm not exactly sure why Chea told the villagers that we gave him
the answer, when he had it all along. But the real question is why, if he had
it all along, didn't he do something about this before? When over a
hundred people died that could have been saved." She smeared her hands
across his chest as she talked. "I have a sneaking suspicion that our friend
Chea..."
Mulder was staring. Her breasts bobbed and swayed as she worked
on him, their faint brown tips hanging out and away from her body as she
moved. Her nipples were so much bigger than he'd been ready for, and his
mind couldn't get past it. The deeper color created large, thick circles.
With his gooped-up hands poised and ready to smear, he sat ogling with
his mouth open like an idiot.
"What?...Oh." She looked down and when she saw the source of
his attention, she sat back. "Yeah. They're weird."
"They're beautiful," Mulder managed to choke out with sincerity.
The delight that registered on her face only dimmed a little as she
began to talk and work again. "Anyway, I haven't gotten to talk much to
Chea, but I get the feeling that there's a lot more going on with him than
we're supposed to believe. Like..."
Finally, Mulder raised his hands to her shoulders and smoothed
slowly down to knead her swaying breasts. She held her breath for a
moment before pressing on.
"Like...how was he so sure that Taam was going to the Heart, if no
one was supposed to know about it. And why, if he knew that the Milk
was the answer to the freezing didn't..."
Mulder squeezed her erect nipples in unison, and she had to close her
eyes against the pleasure of it. Her own nails grated against his new flesh.
"Continue," he coaxed and resumed his massage moving down below
her breasts and on to the flat of her belly.
"Uh... I don't remember where I..."
"What do Megan and Kyle think?" The pure pleasure of watching
her squirm above him was only compounded by the friction she was
creating over his rising erection. "Do they think he's sincere in wanting to
help the island?"
"They think...Kyle, uh. He thinks that Chea is not to be trusted.
Megan just says that someone who went through the pain and torment
he's had in his life either really loves Erlona, or hates it."
"Saint or demon?"
"Something like that...oh..." Mulder had found the waist band of
her shorts and managed to open them enough to get at the top part of her
panties. She shifted above him .
"So what are they doing while we're in here, being medical?"
"They're helping...the villagers are trying to figure out a way of
getting the Milk down to the village without having to take the frozen
bodies back to the heart. After all, you were frozen...OH!" When he
cupped her between her legs, she rose up over him, hips bucking. One of
her slick hands clamped down on his wrist and pulled him out of her
panties. "Mulder, we can't...I can't...your skin isn't ready for intercourse."
She was breathless over him, her eyes were closed and her face was
troubled.
"I'm ready, Scully." He reached up and cupped her face and her
eyes opened to stare down into his. Her brilliant blue irises retracted to
just a sliver of their normal size. She was ready, too. The kiss she
attacked him with told him as much.
Then, in the middle of that sensuous kiss, just before Mulder was
able to slip his hands back under the waistband of her shorts and rid her of
the rest of her clothing, the disaster siren sounded again.
As soon as the siren sounded the door to their bungalow slammed open.
Kyle and Megan froze just inside, with Morg on a leash just behind them,
not sure how to handle the tableau they'd walked into. Megan's jaw hung
open in shock, and Kyle, well, he gallantly turned his back once the
lopsided grin appeared on his face.
"Shit." Scully pulled her hands from Mulder's thigh and chest and
crossed her arms tightly in front of her. She looked back down at him with
disappointment. "I'll get your clothes." She crawled off of him, reaching
into the suitcase against the wall and pulling an oversized sweatshirt from
the heap of clothes inside.
"We, uh...we thought maybe you'd need some help with Mulder,"
Megan tried to explain. But Kyle already had her by the arm and was
trying to push her out the door.
"It looks like she's taking good care of him," Kyle said, trying not to
laugh. "We'll be outside if you have any trouble." Well, at least the man
was trying to afford them some decency by keeping his back to them.
Something his wife, it seemed, hadn't thought of.
"But hurry! The fog didn't take long the last time it came ashore."
The door shut on them leaving Scully hovering over the clothes, with a pair
of his jeans in one hand and another sweatshirt in the other. Her shoulders
sagged visibly once they were alone.
"You think if we ignore them, they'll just go away?" he asked.
She tossed him the clothes. "We could try, but I'm not risking
getting stuck out in the fog and having you frozen again." Her face was
suddenly hard, blank and unreadable. And sallow. "Do you think you can
get dressed by yourself?"
"Of course. I'm fine, remember?"
"Right." She turned then, went into the bathroom and shut the
door.
Mulder, lying on the bed, covered from the waist down by the
sheet, looked up at the ceiling. The wail of the siren continued to blast
incessantly. "I think I hate this place."
The thick, cumulus fog was almost upon them by the time they
made it back to Omani. Once again, everything was the picture of order.
Each person had done his or her job so many times, that transferring the
village into the underground oasis was as smooth as a transition of that
magnitude could be. Except for the infirmary, which was still smashed and
bloody. Mulder noticed that Scully made no attempt to help out this time,
letting the villagers handle all of the medical cases. She even tried not to
look in that direction as they passed by.
In their private room, Scully dropped the small duffel she'd packed,
and fell heavily onto one of the beds. She seemed to age years before
his eyes - the droop of her lids, the weary posture in her shoulders. He
wanted to ask if she was all right, but he know the answer she'd give; it
was pointless.
"What do you think causes the fog?" Her face was drawn in
concentration. "We know what's freezing everything, but I can't see the
connection between the wisps and the fog. And on second thought, what
are the wisps? Maybe some sort of crystallized liquid nitrogen that's
picked up by the air currents?"
"They're souls."
Without looking at him, she pursed her lips and rolled her eyes. He
caught the brief flash of classic Scully. It faded again too quickly. "Maybe
Chea knows more about this, too. That guy-"
"I was a wisp."
Her eyes locked with his. "What are you talking about?"
"When I was dead. I was a wisp."
"Mulder you were frozen solid, not a-"
"I saw you, Scully. From above. I was one of those wisps."
"Mulder, that's impossible."
"I saw you. I saw you lower my head into the Milk and I saw it
bubble up around your hands, and I saw you fall backwards just staring at
them." He climbed onto the bed next to her, inching as close to her as he
could. "Then this wind came in, and I was thrown back into the Milk."
Her eyes widened. "That was you?" She searched his face as if to find
some trace of the little cloud within him. "I saw..." Her voice broke and
she didn't finish the thought. Instead she looked down at the chipped nail
polish on her right hand. "I must look awful; no make-up, no sleep-" She
sighed heavily and when Mulder reached out to touch her, she looked up
before he had a chance. "I don't care what I saw. I don't care about this
horrible island. When the fog lifts, Mulder, I want to go home."
"Home," he agreed with a whisper and gently kissed her lips.
"And I want to order in a pizza."
"With olives and sausage." He kissed her again. He was getting
good at kissing her. The way her lips moved against his was quickly
becoming addictive; as was the flutter near the base of his stomach when
she pulled him closer and deepened the kiss. And how it took her a
moment after the kiss ended for her to collect herself enough to talk again.
God, he loved that.
"Mulder," she sighed, brushing her cheek against his where the
stubble was more sensitive for the raw skin it covered. "What's that
noise?"
Until she'd mentioned it, Mulder hadn't heard anything except her
rapid breathing and his own pounding heart. But once his attention was
brought to it, there was some kind of commotion outside their room. Kyle
poked his head in through the curtain.
"Knock, knock." He seemed a little unnerved. "You guys may want
to come out here."
Sticking his head outside the curtain to see what all the hubbub was
about, Mulder nearly knocked heads with Megan, who was doing the exact
same thing. The passageway was that narrow. And sardined into the
skinny hall was half of the population of the island.
"What the hell?" Scully was under his arm. "What do they want?"
And then, something in her snapped and she sucked in a breath and ducked
back into the room.
"Scully?"
"Are they coming for me again?" Her eyes began to glass over as
she tried to get her fear under control.
Mulder glanced back at the mob in the tunnel, but they didn't
advance - and frankly, didn't look all that upset. "I don't know what they
want, but they're not getting you," he insisted, playing the hero, regardless
of the need.
"Mulder, I want to go home now." She stared off into space.
"Please. Take me home."
A lump hardened in Mulder's throat. She was doing it again: her
mind, spinning like a top, was blurring her contact to reality, phasing out
consciousness without actually passing out. He knelt before her, running
his hands soothingly over her knees. "Scully?" She didn't respond.
"Scully. Dana. It's all right. No one is going to hurt you."
A red droplet ran from her left nostril and pooled in the crevice
between her lips. Her haunted face didn't register its existence.
//It's the people,// he tried to tell himself. //She's just flashing back
to before when they tied her to the pole.//
"Kyle!" Mulder's yell was tinged with a deep seated panic. When
his friend leaned in the doorway, Mulder crawled up on the bed behind
Scully. "Kyle, get those people outta here!"
"Holy flaming cow..."
"She's going to be okay," Mulder said, more for his own benefit than
to dismiss the other man's worried tone. He leaned heavily against the rock
wall and pulled his partner bodily into his lap. When Kyle began to duck
out of the room, Mulder called him back. "Kyle, she needs more blankets."
"Right."
"And maybe something warm to drink."
The worried glint in Kyle's eyes mirrored Mulder's own. "Shock?"
Mulder stroked the hair back from her face and tried to press
himself around her as much as possible. "She's shaking."
Kyle nodded grimly and disappeared behind the thin curtain.
Careful not to disturb her, Mulder pulled his hand through the sleeve of
his sweatshirt and dabbed at the drying blood under Scully's nose. She
didn't even blink when he touched her face. "Dana," he murmured into her
hair, "what's happening with you?"
Where was his strong, never-daunted partner? Where was the
woman who could look murderers and mutants and monsters in the eye
without even a second thought? How could it be that she'd been reduced
to sad, haunting looks and blank stares? What was going on inside her
head when nothing at all registered on her face?
The commotion outside died down and Mulder could hear Kyle
ushering the people away. Megan, with two blankets under her arms,
inched in slowly until Mulder nodded to her that it was okay to enter. She
watched Scully critically as she unfolded and draped. "She's exhausted."
The way she said it made him realize she was speaking from first hand
experience.
"What can I do?" His sotto voice barely filled the silent
closet-of-a-room.
With a caring hand, she smoothed the blanket down Scully's
hunched shoulders. Then she glanced up at Mulder over the rim of her
glasses. "Hold her. Until it's time to let go."
It was several hours later, when the whole cave was bathed in an
impenetrable darkness, that her seizure started. Mulder was completely
unprepared for it, and when her body began spasming violently, it took him
almost a full minute to get her flat on the bed with his body pressed over
hers to keep her from flailing herself into an injury.
"Help!" Mulder called into the blackness. "Kyle! Help me!"
Scully's throaty noises scared him. He couldn't see her body as it tried to
lift itself from the cot, or her face as her head lurched against the hold he
had on her forehead.
Misjudging in the dark, Kyle slammed his shin into the end of the
wooden cot and cried out in pain.
"Kyle, she's seizing! Stuff something in her mouth before she bites
her tongue off!"
"What's going on?" Megan's sleepy question became a sober, "I'll
get some lights!" once the situation hit her fully.
A few seconds later, Mulder felt Kyle's hand as he tried to feel for
Scully's mouth. Her cries became more muffled. "I used one of Megan's
socks. I think."
"Can she still breathe?"
"Yeah." Kyle felt down along her body. "I've got this arm," he
offered, obviously not sure what to do with himself. Mulder shifted and let
him hold her down, which freed his hand to run soothingly at her hair line.
"Dana, I know you can hear me," he began as calmly as his rapid
pulse would allow. "Dana. Try to breathe through it. Focus on relaxing
and just breathe." She jerked and bucked and the seizure showed no sign
of letting up. And between his arm and her cheek, a hot wetness began to
pool. "Oh, God, no."
"What?" Kyle demanded breathlessly.
"She's..." Mulder's voice broke, "Nose bleed. Bad." He didn't
bother to try and brush the blood from her face, instead he turned her head
and held it down so that she wouldn't choke or drown.
It was so wrong for her body to betray her like that. Someone as strong
as Scully, with as much integrity, deserved something more dignified. Not
thrashing about, covered in her own bodily fluids. His eyes closed against
the certainty that the wetness soaking through his jeans was urine. "Oh,
Dana." He placed a solid kiss through the blood on her face. "I love you.
I love you."
And still she shook.
End of 13/17
A small eternity passed before Mulder could hear the distant
powering up of the generator, and the lights in the hall flickered alive.
Below him, Scully's tremors fought hard against his and Kyle's restraints;
her eyes were rolled to the back of her head, her mouth was propped open
with a blue sock and her swollen lips curled back from her perfectly
straight teeth. Her face and upper body, like his own, were covered in a
thick coating of vibrantly red blood. The veins in her neck and forehead
stood out from the rest of her marbled, pale skin. Her hand fisted
convulsively, opening wounds in her palms where her fingernails dug out
grooves in her flesh. And from her throat the most tortured sob Mulder'd
ever witnessed reached out and clung to him. The sock was spit from her
mouth and a gasped, "Muuuuuuuuuul," signaled the abrupt end of all
movement in her body. No more tremors. Not even a twitch.
With open, sightless eyes peering from her dead face, she lay
perfectly still and limp beneath him as if she were nothing more than a
life-sized doll of his partner. Only the shallow rise and fall of her middle
told him that she wasn't gone completely. Mulder's mind flooded with
grief.
Megan's entrance and shocked gasp at the sight she found only
dimly registered through the sluggish numbness of his mind.
He heard himself say, "Scully?" as if he half believed she'd sit up
and tell him that she was fine. Because Scully was always fine. "Dana?"
He slapped her cheek. "Dana! Wake up!" He was watching himself from
the inside, seeing and feeling but not able to control himself. "Damn it,
Dana! Wake up!"
Kyle's fist caught his. "Mulder, stop."
"Fuck you!" Mulder pushed Kyle hard enough for his friend to lose
his balance and hit the floor hard on his ass. It was the expression of
resolute sadness from the other man that snapped him back. All at once
the distorted world slid back into clear focus: Scully beneath him, Kyle on
the ground at the foot of the cots, Megan standing above him and staring in
disbelief.
The mere whimper of the dog from somewhere behind the other
curtain across the hall broke the stunned silence.
Mulder lifted himself into a crouch over her, trying to right her arms and
legs into a position that she might've found comfortable. Head shaking,
arms trembling, Mulder wiped at the mess of tangles and blood and sweat
that matted across her face and neck, needing to put some kind of order
into the insanity of what had just happened. But all of his smearing only
made the mess worse.
Had she known that a seizure was coming? Was that why she
begged to go home? Was the cancer finally pressing into her brain?
Mulder couldn't see any other reason, and yet he found it hard to put his
mind around the idea that Scully had known that something of that
magnitude could happen without warning him. Unless she was in severe
denial herself.
Megan's thin fingers squeezed at his arm, and Mulder found that
she'd brought a large metal basin brimming with warm water. With the soft
rag she placed in his hand, he began to wash away at the filth on her face
and neck. Kyle, when Mulder hadn't noticed, must've slipped away.
"Tell him...I'm sorry," Mulder muttered to the woman. "I didn't
mean..."
"Do you need help?" She was an anchor of calm. He needed her with
him, not so much to help, but so that he wouldn't feel so horribly alone.
There was something terrifying about being in a room with Scully and
sensing he was alone. Megan was able to neutralize that feeling.
Together they undressed Scully, cleaned her limp body, and dressed
her in another sweatshirt and jeans that had been packed in the duffel.
"Do you think..." Megan couldn't bring herself to look at him as she
asked, "that this is just some temporary...that this is just shock?"
"I don't..." Mulder understood what she was asking. She wanted
to know, as he did, if Scully was going to be a shell until the cancer finally
took away her ability to breathe, too. He had seen people with cancer. He
knew how it destroyed the body; it invaded with a relentless indifference.
But for her to lose her mind...to be nothing more than an empty vessel...
She would never want to exist like that.
"Has she had seizures before?"
"No."
"Did you...know this could happen?"
"No."
For a few minutes the two of them sat over Scully, watching her
breathe. Hoping.
"Mulder. You need to clean up."
"No."
"I'll stay with her. I'll fix the bed again..." She touched his
shoulder. "If she wakes up and sees you like this, she's going to be upset."
Mulder looked down at the mess of his shirt. "I don't want to leave
her."
"I know. She said the same thing about you a few days ago." Megan's
eyes were brimming with unfallen tears. She smiled and bumped her
shoulder sluggishly into his. "We'd just pulled the last of the dead skin
from your body...God, that was nasty. She'd been up all night, and she
hadn't eaten. It took a lot of convincing to get her to leave your side long
enough to go to the bathroom." A small snort of remembrance from the
woman next to him left pinpricks on the back of his neck. "She ate the
food I brought her right beside you. She insisted that the first time she left
you to eat, that would be the moment you'd choose to wake up."
"She's had a lot of practice sitting at my bed side."
"So I gathered." She closed her hand tightly over his, letting him
draw on her energy and strength. "Go clean up. And bring us back some
food." Mulder saw that the tears had finally fallen and she was fighting to
keep her smile on her face. "It's going to be a long night for the both of
us."
Megan had fallen asleep cross-legged on the corner of the cot, her
narrow shoulders crammed into the rough corner. Mulder, beside her, with
his knees drawn up to his chest, was grateful for her company, even
sleeping. Because Scully's cold stare unnerved him. It was worse than all
the times she'd looked at him in anger, because at least then her eyes
showed some life. The dull gaze held nothing - not even a passing
boredom. And nothing ached.
There was a rustle of movement beside him, and Mulder looked up
to see Kyle pushing the curtain to one side. He looked first from his wife
to Mulder, and then from Mulder to the unmoving Scully. "No change."
There was no need for Mulder to affirm what was so painfully obvious.
Kyle recognized that and laid a firm hand on Mulder's slumped shoulder.
"Maybe tomorrow," Mulder whispered.
Nothing more was said, and Kyle retreated to his own cubby across
the narrow tunnel (to Mulder's infinite relief) without his wife.
Morning brought with it a new sense of panic. Not once in the
night had Scully moved a muscle. It was increasingly becoming clear to
Mulder that the seizure had been more than just a random fit.
//A stroke? An aneurism?//
The medical attention on the island minus the doctor was nothing
more than a few medicine women and island-schooled nurses. There was
no way Mulder was going to let any of them near the woman he loved.
And yet, he knew without a doubt that he had to act. That her time was
counting down, and that soon he was going to lose all of her completely.
Forever.
There was only one thing he could do.
Without another thought, Mulder crawled off the bed and gathered
his lifeless partner in his arms. Megan woke when he jostled the bed and
demanded to know what he was doing.
"I don't think you should move her, Mulder."
"I have to do something!" Her head was laying against his shoulder.
He was startled at how slight she seemed even as dead weight. When she'd
had that horrible nose bleed on their first night on the island, she'd been
much heavier.
"Mulder stop. You shouldn't do this!" He started running aimlessly
through the tunnel halls. The Heart was somewhere off the main tunnel
that led from the first chamber. But there had been a series of cut-offs and
forking tunnels that they'd traveled through before they'd even found Gaal.
At the time, Mulder'd been in too much pain to care one way or the other.
"Mulder." Kyle poked his sleepy head out from his room. "Mulder!
Where are you going?!"
"The Heart..." He turned a corner and hit a dead end.
He spun, breathless. Clutching Scully's limp torso to his, Mulder knew
he looked like a madman to the couple who'd run after him. But that
didn't matter. Nothing in the world mattered at that moment except getting
Scully to the pool in the Heart. Nothing at all. "Please," he begged
shamelessly. "Please."
"She's not frozen," Megan began. "Mulder, think about it."
"My back," he gasped. "My back hasn't bothered me since I was in
the Milk pool. That injury wasn't a result of the freezing-"
"Mulder, what if you get hit by another of those wisps?"
"Then I'll be no worse off than I am now. Help me."
For a long moment, Kyle and Megan looked at each other, silently
deciding what to do.
"Kyle." Grasping at straws, Mulder pleaded, "You said before that
my being frozen wasn't supposed to happen. That that's not how it
happened in your dream."
The man before him gaped. "How did you..." He turned to his
wife, "Did you tell him that?"
She shook her head.
"It doesn't matter. What matters is that maybe what you dreamed
hasn't happened yet. That what was SUPPOSED to happen still will!"
With wide eyes, Kyle nodded. "If that's true, then we need Chea
again. He was there in my dream."
"I'll get Chea and more lanterns," Megan said. "But Mulder, I need
you to promise me something."
"Anything." At that point, he would've sold his soul to the Devil to
get Scully in that pool.
"That when the time comes, you'll let go."
//Anything but that.//
Kyle must've read the look on Mulder's face, because he put a
restraining hand on his wife's shoulder. "Meggie. Get Chea."
"He's not prepared," she told her husband. "He's going to break."
"Not if my dream comes true."
She ran a loving hand over his rough cheek. "You've made him
believe in miracles." Then she pulled away, and without a further glance at
Mulder, she set off in search of his last hope.
After nearly an hour of winding their way through the dark caverns,
Kyle stopped the group and placed a firm hand on Mulder's shoulder. "Let
me carry her for a while."
"No." Mulder cradled Scully like a baby in his arms, trying
desperately to ignore the limp way her arm hung down his back. "I've got
her."
"Mulder, you're exhausted. Your arms are shaking."
"I'm fine."
"You're going to drop her!"
"No!" Mulder couldn't express why, but he needed to carry her.
Just the thought of her lying helpless in another man's arms...friend or
no...it was excruciating for him.
"Then we will sit and rest for a while." Chea's teacher-voice squashed
any further complaints.
The group settled for a respite, on a large slab of granite. Mulder
protectively laid his partner down, careful to cushion her head in his lap.
He caught Megan looking dejectedly at Scully, and then turned as if the
sight burned her eyes. It was easy to empathize with her reaction. Without
Scully's brilliant mind peering out of her beautiful eyes...
Kyle caught Mulder's attention when he leaned over and brushed at
her cheek with the sleeve of his shirt. A pang of jealously knotted his
throat before Kyle could explain, "She was...drooling..."
He closed his eyes against the powerful urge to hug her body
against his own. His arms were too tired and his heart was too heavy. And
they were wasting valuable time.
"Kyle," Mulder croaked, "carry her."
No one said a word, seeming to understand what it cost him. Chea
took up the lead again, carrying the lantern before him like a beacon in the
cold, damp false night.
The arch was just as they'd left it - bold and impressive. But before, the
room had nearly hummed with colors and life, but what Mulder saw before
him - the painted red circle, the crystallized walls, the murky pool - looked
just as lifeless as Scully.
She was lying in Kyle's arms just as still as she had with Mulder.
Something inside of him had half expected her to protest being shifted to
someone different. And a piece of his heart fizzled and then blinked out of
existence when she hadn't.
There was no sign of the wisps. Presumably they were roaming
freely in the mist, coming into contact with lanterns and the wayward
horse or two. Mulder wasted no time in pulling his partner from Kyle and
heading straight for the pool.
He heard Megan whisper and tried to ignore it, but her words
reached his ears with stunning clarity. "Was this in your dream?" No
audible answer came.
For a moment, Mulder held his partner close to him, trying to
memorize the angle of her straight nose, the proud chin that swept into
perfect ears. The lips that he'd become so fond of kissing...
Had it really been only a day since she sat topless, straddling his
sheet-covered body? Only a matter of hours since he kissed her and
touched her so intimately, sure that he was finally going to make love to
this woman whom he loved so deeply? If they hadn't come to the island,
would she still have had the horrible seizure? Or what if they hadn't gone
sailing all together? What if they had gone to Disney World instead?
Waiting in line for Mr. Toad's Wild Ride? Or home?
//Home.// She knew. She had to have known. Maybe he would've
known, too, if he'd been a little more observant. If he'd spent more time
listening to what she was saying instead of trying to protect himself.
Maybe if he'd...
"Mulder?" Kyle's voice filtered through his self-recriminations and
pulled him back to the present. "It's now or never."
"God," he whimpered. "What am I doing?"
"You're trying to save her life-"
"What?! By dunking her in this shit?" He nodded to the pool at
his feet. "I've lost my mind!" Kyle stared at him, dumbfounded. "If she
knew, GOD! If she knew I was even thinking of doing this, she'd be
furious. She'd call me crazy." Mulder snorted to himself and had to shift
his partner in his arms. "No, she'd want to be in a hospital-"
"She wanted to be here, Mulder. That's why we stayed, remember?
If she had wanted to be anywhere else, she would've been."
It took a moment for Kyle's simple logic to sink in. She *had*
insisted on staying on the island...and if she'd known... Maybe Scully
believed more than she let on; or maybe she believed more than she wanted
to.
"You ready?"
Together, he and Kyle climbed into the shallow pool and then,
slowly, with Scully between them, they lowered her into the milky liquid.
It was cold and thick, and it clung to them like glue. They let her sink into
the pool until only the oval of her face was left.
"This isn't right," Mulder muttered nervously.
"What's wrong?"
"There are no bubbles. Before, the Milk looked almost alive-"
"How...how do you know that?" Kyle gasped, stunned.
"I remember."
Chea cut in. "How can you remember? When we were here last, you
were-"
"Frozen solid. I know," Mulder snapped. The conversation was
superfluous. The Milk, for whatever reason, simply wasn't having the same
effect on Scully as it had on him. "Why isn't this working?"
Kyle gulped. "She's not frozen..."
"Neither was Taam's forehead, but the Milk healed that."
"Not until after she dipped her face in," offered Megan. "The
cancer is in her head, right?"
"In her nasal passage. But if we dunk her, she'll drown." Mulder
couldn't help peering down into Scully's blank eyes, trying to visualize the
tumor growing against her brain somewhere below the bridge of her
nose. God, he hated the cancer. If there was some way to rip it
from her...
"Then what do you want to do?" The quiet tone of Kyle's question
sent a ripple of a shiver up Mulder's spine. The cold of the pool was
starting to turn his toes numb.
Mulder shook his head. Even suspended in the milk-shake liquid,
Scully's breathing remained steady. One second under and she would
inhale the goop. Would her gag reflexes work? If he didn't get her up to
the air in time, would he be able to save what was left of her? Would he
try? Of course he would.
//I love her.// "Dunk her."
On the count of three, Scully went under. Instantly the fury of the
pool came alive, first focusing on the space her face had just vacated and
then the whole of the pool bubbled up in a rapid boil. And just as
suddenly, Scully sat up right between their arms, choking and gasping for
air.
"SCULLY!" Mulder cried in elation at the first response she'd
shown since the seizure. She lurched forward and gagged, her stomach
trying to dislodge what little Milk she'd had time to swallow.
When she seemed to settle, Mulder grabbed her and held her firmly
against himself, hugging her tightly with all of the love he had in him. And
she was hugging him back, that was the wondrous part. Her breathing
was deep and her arms were strong around his neck and her cheek nestled
wetly in the crook of his neck. But he had to be sure.
With more resolve than Mulder thought he had, he pulled her away
from him. "Scully?" When her big blue eyes locked on his, there was no
doubt in his mind: she was going to be okay. More than okay. The smile
on her face and in her eyes was more complete than Mulder had ever
known. And it was for him. She was smiling for him alone.
When he kissed her then, it wasn't out of passion or lust. He
pressed his mouth firmly against hers, and she pressed back, telling them
both that the danger was past and that together they were stronger for it.
It was the kind of kiss, Mulder was positive, that only existed between
people who belonged together. And no one belonged together more than
he and Scully did.
"Mulder," she muttered as she gently pulled away. "What
happened?" She blinked repeatedly and rubbed at the milky residue that
was still in her eyes.
"You seized. Badly. I brought you to the Heart to try and heal
you."
"And it looks like it worked!" Kyle and Megan were by their side;
Kyle with an elated grin plastered across his face, Megan with tears
streaming down hers. "This thing is better than the fountain of youth! It's
the fountain of health!"
Mulder ran a hand down the side of Scully's face, pushing her wet
hair back behind her ear. He'd have to get her back to a hospital in DC, of
course, to see just what the liquid did to the cancer...to see if it shrank it
-
or (please, God) cured it all together. But for that instant, in his arms, it
was easy to tell himself that she was fine. Because she looked it. She
looked wonderful.
"Mulder, where are we?" Her face was alive with curiosity and
confusion.
"We're...we're in the Heart." Mulder couldn't help the look of
concern that filtered through when her brows rose in question. "Do you
remember coming to Erlona at all?"
"Of course," she mumbled looking around, obviously seeing the
room for the first time. She didn't remember.
"Scully." He tugged at her chin to get her attention. "We said we
weren't doing that anymore."
A tinge of fear registered in her eyes. "What?"
"Holding back. No more 'I'm fines', no more yeses when you mean
no."
She searched his eyes, looking deep and long. "You kissed me,"
she said on an inhale. "Like you've kissed me before." Mulder nodded and
was relieved to see the bashful smile just before her head dipped down.
Once she had herself under control again, she asked, "And more?"
"No."
To her credit, she attempted another smile with her accepting nod,
but Mulder saw the sadness creep back into her face, and it nearly broke
his heart. "No," he amended, "not yet."
With his not-so subtle promise, once again her face was abloom,
and she hugged him firmly against her.
"Then they really aren't together," Chea asked quietly.
Kyle shrugged. "I can't figure it out, either." And then he turned
and pulled his wife into his arms. "This," he breathed into her hair, placing
a kiss on the top of her head, "is what I dreamed."
The walk back through the corridor was much slower than before.
Scully, who refused to be carried like an invalid, needed to rest every
twenty minutes or so.
"I'm just tired," she explained, brushing off Mulder's over zealous
concern. "I feel good. But drained."
Megan found a flat spot close to a thick stalagmite, and plopped
herself down. "Then we rest. We're not in a hurry." She seemed perfectly
content to spend the remainder of the day in the dark trenches of the cave.
"After all, it's not like we're going anywhere."
Mulder could see the question in his partner's eyes, but she simply
seated herself a few feet from Megan and leaned back against a rising
boulder. When Mulder sat next to her, she leaned hesitantly against him.
It took her a few moments, but she was able to relax against his arm. She
shivered lightly and he curled an arm around her and pulled her closer.
"Now, tell me, Chea, how did you know about the Heart in the first
place?" When Mulder asked the question, Chea sat up a little straighter
and cleared his throat.
"One of my students, Taam actually, came across a series of
writings that at first I dismissed as legends. But they held certain truths
that made me believe that they could've been more. I was right." One of
his fingers ran along a yellowed scar that reached from his knee to mid-calf.
"That's amazing," Kyle cooed. "A long lost treasure buried in the
middle of a mountain."
"You know, the population is going to skyrocket once people start
using the Heart regularly."
"That was one of Vola's fears," Chea admitted. "But I'm sure that
as a community we can come to some sort of agreement about the size of
households." He gave a confident nod.
"Vola knew about this?" Mulder's brain started buzzing. Finally
the pieces were slipping into place. "Did Juuj know about the Heart, too?"
Seeing Mulder's renewed interest, Chea shrank a little, trying to second
guess where he was going with his questions. "He knew."
"But he didn't want to exploit the Heart, did he?"
"He felt that if the people began to rely on the Milk of the Earth
rather than science, Erlona would slip back to a time when superstitions
ruled the minds of the people. There had been no reason, then, and
without some sort of governing party, the island was a fearful, chaotic
place."
Mulder nodded. "But still you wanted to use the Heart."
"People were dying."
"Except they weren't, were they?" Both Kyle and Megan looked
from Chea to Mulder in apprehension, following the conversation closely.
"They were frozen and not dead. And Juuj knew that, didn't he?" Chea
said nothing. "And when their families were ripping chunks of them away
before they buried them, these people who were caught in the wisps
became trapped. Didn't they? And Juuj knew about it. And Vola?"
"She said that it was nature's way of dealing with the population
control. But she didn't have a family!" Chea's temper flared.
"Neither did you," Mulder pointed out.
"My students are my family. And they were being murdered left
and right-"
"And you couldn't take it any more."
"No! It was senseless! And Dr. Juuj wouldn't listen to reason!"
"So you killed him."
"What?!" Megan screamed. "*You* killed Dr. Juuj?!"
Chea froze in a panic; his face was wide with guilt and fright. He
shook his head.
Mulder continued fiercely, "Chea, it had to have been you-"
"You don't understand, they had the key of the Heart in their hands
and they refused to help the people. They let over a hundred die this year
alone...hundreds over the years. I had to help my people..."
"They?" Mulder swallowed the acidic bile that was rising in his throat.
"And Vola, too?"
"The two of them...together they kept the people ignorant...I had to
help my...what could I do? This is not the mighty U.S. with its appeals
process and legal protection - and something had to be done..." There
was nothing more Chea could do but hang his head. He was too honorable
to lie, knowing that he'd been caught.
"God, I need a cigarette," Megan hissed.
The officer in Mulder wanted to arrest Chea and throw his ass in
some dank, dark cell. After all, he'd framed Scully...or had that just been a
happenstance? The man in Mulder just wanted to close his eyes and
magically whisk himself and Scully as far away from the island as possible.
Erlona was out of US jurisdiction. Period. But even if Mulder tried to
alert the people, the language barrier would remain an impenetrable
obstacle. Without Chea to translate...
"Please understand, the two lives will ultimately save hundreds
more."
"You can't really expect us to let you get away with murder,"
Megan bit out. " How do we know you're not going to turn on us, now
that we know your secret?"
"I'm not a murderer," Chea said with a bewildered wail. "I acted to
save my people. My home!"
"You killed two elderly, unarmed people in cold blood!"
"Enough!" When Mulder yelled, Scully startled from her light
doze.
"What? What's wrong?" she asked disoriented.
"Nothing," he said softly to her, "I'll fill you in later." Then he
stood, helping his partner to her feet. "I'm taking Scully back to get some
sleep. I've had enough of this island and it's screwed up anti-politics." He
snapped at Chea, "I don't know what the hell to do with you. And quite
frankly, I don't know that there's much I can do. But if you come
anywhere near Scully, or Megan and Kyle -"
"You're not going to do anything?" Megan demanded.
"What do you want me to do? Arrest him? With what law?
Throw him in jail? What jail?"
"He's a murderer!"
Mulder considered the marked man before him, sitting defeated
against the rough rock wall, holding his head in his hands. That wasn't the
stance of a murderer - more like a desperate, pitiful man. "He's not
dangerous anymore."
"How the hell do you know that?!"
Mulder shrugged. "Look at him." He turned away, leading Scully
under his arm.
"Mulder," she asked quietly, "did Chea really kill Dr. Juuj?"
"You remember Dr. Juuj?"
"I think so." They took a few steps, and in the silence of the cave,
Mulder heard Kyle and Megan a few paces behind them. Their steps
sounded more tired and beaten than angry.
They were all going to need a vacation away from their vacation.
End of 14/17
When they'd arrived back in Omani, the all clear had sounded
signaling the retreat of the fog. So rather than spending another minute in
the caves, he helped Scully walk back to their bungalow.
"Hey, are you sure you're going to be all right in the shower?" She
seemed so completely wiped out that an image of her falling and hitting her
head wasn't hard to conjure up.
"I'll be fine. I just want to get this stuff off of me." She headed into
the bathroom.
"Call me if you need me."
She stopped in the doorway and turned to him. "Mulder...are you
sure that nothing..." She played her fingers over the door frame
awkwardly. "Besides the kisses..."
If Mulder didn't know better, he'd swear she was blushing. "No.
Why?"
"I just... I thought I remembered..." She looked at the bed and
shook her head. "Never mind."
"Scully, wait. What do you remember?"
She sighed. "Just..." And then she made some sort of inward
decision, because she rattled off all at once: "I was on top, half-naked and
there was some sort of body gel or something..." And then her eyes
rounded and she seemed to remember more. "And then Kyle and Meg...
Oh."
"Yeah, they certainly got an eyeful." Mulder chuckled.
"Now I remember." She ducked back into the bathroom and
quietly closed the door.
While she was bathing, Mulder laid out a comfortable pair of her
pajamas on the bed and then went out in search of some food. He was
starving, and he figured, with as hungry as Scully had been in the past few
days, surely she was famished, too.
Leaving the bungalow, he ran into his friends.
"Hey, is everything all right?"
"Yeah," Mulder reassured them. "Scully's showering. I was going
to get some food. Should I bring you back something, too?" He was half
hoping they'd say no just so that he could back to Scully faster. "I'm just
going down to the market." Main Street - two minutes down, a minute to
load up on bread ans fruit, two minutes back. Tops.
"Mulder," Megan said, trying to stuff her smile, "everyone's still filing
out of Omani. The market isn't going to be running for a while."
"Besides," Kyle said, shoving his hands into the pocket of his jeans, "we
were thinking that you guys might want to get away from this island." It
was obvious that both he and his wife did.
Mulder couldn't blame them. "I guess everything's basically packed," he
offered. "But can't we leave in the morning? I want Scully to rest." Kyle
and his wife exchanged a wary glance. "We're all tired. Sailing out
into the ocean after the couple of days we've had, with no rest -"
"It's only been a couple of days?"
"He's right." Kyle put an arm around his wife. "We should get a
good night's sleep, too."
"How can we sleep with the chance of those wispy things floating
around? Not to mention a confessed murderer."
Mulder studied her face. "You want to leave that badly?"
Megan seemed astonished that he was able to ask that question.
"You don't?"
Mulder looked over his shoulder at the closed door behind him. They
probably could leave right away. Scully didn't have any trouble sleeping on
The Lady. Mulder, on the other hand, was likely never to sleep again. He
couldn't help thinking how wonderful it would be to have her in the big,
soft bed in their bungalow, with the cool breeze playing over his arms that
would be wrapped protectively around her middle. To lay there until the
sun set the following day; sleeping and making love until hunger would
over take them and drive them from the bed.
Such a nice little fantasy.
"Good evening."
Mulder's head spun around just as Chea was hesitantly coming up
the steps. Behind him, on the walkway, were about fifteen people, all with
beaming smiles.
Mulder had trouble reconciling what he knew of the mind set of killers
to what he knew of Chea. He just didn't seem...insane. And Mulder knew
all too well that those were the ones that were the most dangerous, because
there was no forewarning. And still, even though he had no proof that
Chea wasn't a threat to the people of Erlona, he believed it. Or at least a
part of him did. There was no way in hell he was going to leave Scully
alone with the guy. But Mulder couldn't see Chea going on a killing
rampage and taking out any more of his people. //Any more.// As if two
hadn't been bad enough.
"I don't believe this," Megan muttered under her breath. To Chea,
she bit out, "Get the hell outta here!"
He lifted his hands in submission. "Please. I understand your not
wanting to see me again-"
"You have no idea." Kyle refused to look at the man. "We don't like
you and we don't trust you. Get the hell outta here!"
"This was not my idea." He nodded apologetically to the group at
the base of the stairs. "They're Taam's family. They have asked me to give
to you their offering for returning their daughter to them."
"Thanks," Mulder said dryly, "but we don't need a reward."
"They are offering, regardless." Chea glanced back at the group
and they nodded excitedly. "It would mean a great deal of prestige for
them, as well, you see. To give you a traditional Erlonian wedding."
"A what?" Kyle perked up, still very distrustful of the translator. "A
wedding?"
"As it seems that you and Dr. Scully truly aren't a couple," Chea
averted his eyes in shame, "Taam's family feels it's an appropriate gift." He
added as an afterthought, "To refuse would disgrace the family, since it is
widely believed that She sent you to us, Herself."
//Oh, boy.// "Chea, that's only widely believed because you told them
that."
"No," he said, "I said no such thing."
Megan watched Mulder expectantly, and he started to feel
uncomfortable under her glare. "You see, the thing is, we were
going to leave tonight."
"We're leaving?" Behind him, Scully appeared in her wet hair and blue
pajamas. She didn't seem thrilled by the prospect of setting sail, either;
although, Mulder was sure that her reasons were more sensible than his.
Exhaustion was written in the shaded circles under her eyes.
"Actually, that hasn't been decided yet." Kyle didn't look at his wife
and missed the cold glare she threw at him. "It seems that our friend
Chea," he said with strained sarcasm, "is offering you and Mulder here, a
wedding."
"What?"
Chea quickly corrected, "Taam's family, actually, as a thank you gift
for the safe return of their daughter."
"A wedding?" She looked up at Mulder with questioning eyes.
"Oh, hell." Mulder hated that the subject was brought up by Chea,
and he hated that it was in a less than romantic situation with people all
around, but once the matter had been laid on the table, there was no
pretending that it wasn't there. "We might as well."
Scully's whole body drooped. "What a charmer."
"No." He grabbed her hand before she could slip back inside the
room. "Scully - Dana. Listen. Marriage is inevitable for us -"
"Is this another 'tempting fate' talk, because if it is, I'm not in the
mood."
"No. No, Dana, what I'm trying to say is that I love you." He
dropped her hand and looked away. "But you know that already." //Why
do we have to have a fucking audience for this?//
"That's okay, you can say it again." She wasn't quite smiling, but
she wasn't upset anymore, either.
He summoned up his nerve, took a deep breath, and in spite of the
onlookers, Mulder blurted out, "Dana, marry me."
Her mouth Oed.
"We'll do a Catholic thing back in the States to make it legal, but I
want to marry you here, too." His heart was thumping as if it had just
figured out how to truly beat.
"Here? Why?"
"Because..." //God, why do I want this?// Mulder stopped himself.
After all, it had only been two days since these same people had tried to kill
her. Why would he subject her to another of their rituals? Wasn't it
enough just to get off the island as soon as possible? Mulder shook his
head. He was being selfish again.
"Because you love me?" Her sweet smile prodded a shy nod from
him.
"You know I do." Then he turned to Chea. "Look, it's a nice
gesture from Taam's family, especially after they tied her to a pole and beat
the shit out of me, but we're leaving tonight."
Megan sighed in relief. "Thank God."
"Mulder." Scully's face was calm, and her voice was as smooth as
satin. "Will you marry me?"
When the excitement of the proposal finally died down, the moon
was high on the horizon. Mulder sat on the balcony's chaise lounge
with his bride-to-be nestled snugly in his arms; in the same position they'd
inadvertently discovered on The Lady. Mulder smiled up at the stars in the
clear sky, no longer wanted to escape with them. Everything that made
him happy and whole was curled up in his lap at that moment. Life was
good.
He played with the bits of tangled hair framing her face. //Such
perfect hair.//
In a lazy stretch, her hands smoothed across his shoulders to meet on
his chest, and she pushed herself up enough to look in his eyes.
"Hey," he whispered, "I thought you were sleeping."
Her head shook no.
"You uncomfortable? You want to move to the bed?" He hadn't
meant anything suggestive, but she laughed at the way his question came
out.
And then her head shook again.
"Well, then-"
She reached up to his cheek and her small fingers scraped against
his stubble. "Your skin's healed nicely."
"And quickly, too."
"Yeah." Her fingertips dragged down the side of his neck, causing
Mulder to swallow convulsively. "And how's your back?"
"Uh..." It was difficult to focus on what she was saying when it
was so mesmerizing for him to watch her watching her own hand as it
snaked down from his neck to inside the collar of his shirt. "Not even a
twinge since the whole Heart thing."
"That's good."
"Yeah..." Her palm stopped over his heart and she stared at it as if
she were waiting for something to happen. "Scully?"
Her eyes lifted to his. "When you asked me to marry you, you
called me Dana."
Mulder had to think back. "Yes, I guess I did. That's your name."
"What about Scully?"
//Where is she going with this?// "Scully's your name, too," he
drawled out.
"No. I mean what about the person, Scully. Your partner. The
woman you work with day in and day out. Are you asking her to marry
you, too?"
"Well, that depends."
"On what?"
"On which of them answered yes."
He waited a long while for her to respond. She sat still between his
bent legs, studying his eyes and face, her hand still firmly placed
on his chest. A niggle of doubt wormed its way through his ego, telling
him that she was getting ready to change her mind. But he stuffed it back
down again, refusing to believe that his Scully would do that to him. Or
his Dana, either. "No," he breathed. "It doesn't matter. I want all of you."
And then, without giving her any more time to think, he leaned
forward and kissed her hard on the mouth. Her lips, sliding against his in
repeated kisses, curled up into a smile. He took the opportunity to slip
his tongue into her mouth.
She tasted hot and spicy after the dinner they'd eaten, and it woke his
body with a rush of blood. Mulder could feel himself hardening where her
hip shifted against his jeans, and he slipped a hand down over her other hip
to cup her ass closer to him. She jolted in his arms.
"Mulder," she breathed heavily against his cheek as he continued to
place wet, nipping kisses down her throat. "I...oh, God...Mulder...my
body..." Her hands clutched convulsively on his shoulders.
"Is the most beautiful body I've ever seen," he managed to get out
as his lips roamed even farther; his other hand unbuttoning the pajama top
as he worked his way down her front.
"No...Mulder..."
"Oh, yes..." And then it occurred to him, through his passionate
haze, that maybe she was trying to say something other than bedroom talk.
She had, after all, stopped kissing him. The niggle of doubt reared its head
again.
When he looked up there was a strained expression on her face,
something between pain and hesitation. "Dana? What's wrong?"
But then, in the time it took for him to say her name, her face
changed again and she smiled a reassuring smile. "Nothing." She pulled
his head to her and opened her mouth over his.
//Oy vey.//
His tongue played with hers, stroking and coaxing, doing amazing
thing to the rest of his body. He worked his hand inside her top and found
a fleshy breast bobbing against his palm. The second his fingers played
over the tip, she inhaled sharply, pulling the air from his lungs. His groin
tightened even more. She broke the kiss, and panting, looked down at his
hand.
She licked her swollen lips, watching as his hand started a kneading
massage, pinching gently at the erect nipple as he worked.
//She's watching me touch her,// he realized with electric
fascination. Mulder had never known anything so erotic in his life.
Suddenly, he wanted to perform for her; he wanted to make her as hot as
she was unintentionally making him. With his eyes glued to hers, he
lowered his head to her chest and took her hard nipple between his lips.
Her face tensed in excitement when he ran the tip of his tongue
over her sweet flesh - and it did taste faintly sweet in his mouth. The more
he tasted her, the more he had to have, and the gentle tongue flick became
an urgent suckle. He wrapped his hands around her back to press her
against his face. He could feel her pulse on his lips. She rose to her knees
then, straddling his legs, raising her breast to his eye-level.
//Oh, yes...//
Her chest heaved with her haggard breathing, and his body ached
for more. He sucked and tugged and licked as if he could milk more of her
essence that way. She ran her hands slowly through his hair, scraping her
nails against his scalp. They dragged down his neck and into the back of
his shirt and she bowed over him, bending herself over his mouth in
supplication for more.
All he could think about was giving her more; more pleasure, more
love. His hand smoothed down her trim back and over her hip, snaking
around to the front of her. He pressed at her belly, finding it feverishly hot,
the whole time his mouth continuing to work her breast with tight, suckling
kisses. She didn't moan - or make any sound for that matter, besides her
labored breathing - but her body writhed with the pleasure he was giving
her.
//More...//
He slipped inside her pajama bottoms, and with his hand cupped, he
buried his finger deep within her. Scully inhaled sharply, grabbed his wrist,
and bit her lower lip all at the same time. In surprise, Mulder released her
breast and sat back a little.
With closed eyes, she gently and slowly pulled him from her, trying
to minimize the friction. A lump hardened in Mulder's throat.
He'd expected to find her hot, wet and ready.
"I'm sorry," he started to whimper, but she silenced his apology
with a firm kiss. Then she sat back on her heels and turned her attention to
his pants. She unbuttoned his fly with a sly grin.
"There's more than one way to skin -"
"Scully, stop."
She froze and her face dropped. "Why?" He could see a worried
fear flashing behind her blue eyes. "Just because I'm not -"
"Why aren't you, Scully?" That was what he was really worried
about. Was she still sick? After all, it had only been a matter of hours
since she'd been lying catatonic in his arms, unresponsive to the world.
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm feeling good," she insisted, even past his skeptical expression.
"Really good. But I'm tired." She managed a weary smile. "The heart's
willing but the body -"
"Needs sleep."
She ran a hand up the inside of his thigh and roughly came across
his lump of erection. "You on the other hand..."
He grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand up to his face so that he
could press a kiss against it. "I can wait for you. When you're ready."
She sighed. "This is so frustrating!" Then she brightened with an idea.
"Maybe we can find a lubricant here, somewhere..." She tried to leap up
from the lounge, but the altitude change caught her by surprise. Mulder
caught her before she lost her balance.
"Careful." //She's too tired. She needs to sleep.//
Scully laughed it off. "All that heavy breathing...too much oxygen
on the brain."
"Dana." He caught her attention by clasping her hand. "Come
here." Mulder tugged her gently to him, and she dropped back down to
him willingly. "Lay with me."
He scooted over on the chaise and she crawled on beside him,
lengthening herself along his lanky form. She curled one leg over his.
Mulder caressed it protectively. She pulled her top closed, but didn't
bother with the buttons. He left his fly undone. There was no need for
assumed modesties between them, and so they ignored pretense and simply
laid there together until the moon disappeared behind a cloud and sleep
overtook them.
After breakfast and a refreshing shower the next morning, a group
of women showed up at the bungalow with Chea in tow, explaining that
they were going to make Scully's dress for the wedding the following
evening. So Mulder was kicked out for the day - but not before he made
sure that Chea wasn't sticking around. There was no way that Mulder was
going to let that man within a hundred yards of Scully unless Mulder was
there, too; no matter how harmless Mulder thought the marked man might
be to the villagers. With Scully, he wasn't willing to take chances.
In the market, the villagers' attitude towards him had made a 180
overnight. They seemed genuinely excited to see him, and pushed
food and drink at him all day long. When he finally met up with Kyle, he
was so gorged with Erlonian delicacies that he could barely walk.
They found a spot in the shade near the beach, and Morg sat
placidly between them in the grass.
"So where's your better half?"
"Getting fitted for her wedding dress, I'm told."
"Ah. Does this mean I'm responsible for throwing your bachelor
party?"
Mulder laughed. "Where's your better half?"
"She's checking on The Lady, doing inventory, getting her ship-shape.
How's the day after tomorrow for setting sail?"
"Well, we can always leave right after the ceremony tomorrow
night. I know Megan is anxious to get back out into open water."
"What? And have you seasick on your wedding night? Dana
would never forgive me."
Mulder laughed again. "When we do the real wedding in DC, I
want you to be my best man."
Kyle was genuinely taken aback. "I would be honored."
Having shared a moment of male bonding, the two friends lapsed
into an awkward silence. Then Mulder asked, "What day is it, anyway?"
"Uh..." Both men tried to tally the number of nights they'd been on
the island. "Eleven days? in Erlona, and thirteen since we set sail."
"It feels like months."
"Tell me about it." Kyle lazily scratched along Morg's spine, and
the dog began to pant happily. "So what are you and Dana thinking? Back
to the mainland? Or on to Bermuda?"
"You've got to be kidding!" Mulder feigned horror. "Another
island?!"
Kyle shrugged and looked out over the water, and after a moment
mumbled thoughtfully, "Weirder things have happened." He looked at
Mulder. "Like an FBI agent allowing a confessed murderer to go free."
Mulder winced. "It's really not as simple as that."
"It seems simple enough," Kyle said without pushing. "The guy
killed two people."
Mulder jammed his heel into the grass. "Okay. Fine. I break every
Federal code and interfere out of US jurisdiction and I arrest him. Then
what? There are no laws here, so I'd have to take him to the US for trial -
except they won't try him, because he's not a citizen and the crime was
committed outside US soil."
"No, we tell the villagers what he did! We can't just let him get
away with murder!"
"Kyle, think for a second. Chea made a drastic decision -"
"He's a murderer!"
"Let me finish. He saw his students and their families being picked off,
one by one. Frozen solid. And, even though their families think they're
dead, Chea knows they're not...and Juuj and Vola...and he watches as
student after student, parent after parent, is hacked to pieces before their
premature burial." Mulder couldn't get the image of his own frozen form
being lowered into the Milk pool out of his head. "They knew, Kyle. The
victims, I mean. When I was frozen, I saw you all. I heard. I watched."
"My God." Kyle suddenly found it difficult to swallow. "So they
saw themselves being chopped up?"
"Gruesome, isn't it?"
After a moment Kyle shook his head. "Then why didn't Chea just
tell them?"
"I'm not sure he had a choice. Tradition and ceremony count for a
lot here. But even if he did, then what?"
"Then the villagers know about the Heart; then they use the Earth
Milk."
"Maybe that's what Chea had in mind."
With agitation, Kyle shifted and crossed his legs. "What? Now
you're just speculating."
"Exactly. None of us know all of the inner-workings of the non-politics
on this island."
"Why are you defending him? Do you think he's right?"
"No. I'm not defending anyone. I'm just - look. Do you know
what it takes to kill some one? I don't just mean thinking about it, or even
plotting someone's demise. I'm talking about actually taking a knife and
with your own brute strength plunging it into a living body of someone you
know - someone you grew up knowing - through skin and muscle and
bone. Do you know how much passion and belief in your cause you have
to have, how much determination you must possess in order to break
through the natural instincts to turn and run away?"
Kyle peered at him. "You sound like you're talking from personal
experience."
"Chea is suffering. I believe he's basically a moral man who
believes that the lives of two aged people were worth the lives of all the
others that will be saved by the Heart."
"Why do you say that?"
"Well, he couldn't stand idly by and watch Scully publicly executed
for a crime he knew she didn't commit. And the new cut on his arm. The
fresh one that appeared after Vola was found. It was self-inflicted."
"What? Well, that just proves he's psychotic!"
"No. Remember, Kyle, that's an accepted form of punishment,
here. He's conditioned to that."
Hanging his head, Kyle slumped forward over his knees. "This is
insane! So you think he should go unpunished then? That's why you
aren't doing anything."
"I'm not doing anything, because there's nothing I can do. If we tell
the villagers, only one of two things will happen. A - he'll be killed, as
execution is the only punishment for murder. Chea said that himself. Or B
- they'll consider him a hero for getting the Earth Milk for them, and set a
new precedent for murder. And for a place with no laws, that could be
*very* dangerous."
"So you *do* think he should go unpunished!"
"I think he killed two people and he should go to jail for the rest of
his life. But I also think that these people need an educated man if they're
to survive. And I believe, that had there been a government here, there
would have been other avenues he could have chosen."
"Assuming that he's telling the truth."
"Yes. I have to believe him. The other option is unthinkable."
"Which is?"
"That we're going to leave this island with a serial killer on the
loose and no one with the knowledge and ability to stop him."
And suddenly, the day seemed darker to Mulder. He wanted to see
Scully. He wanted her to hold him.
When Mulder was finally allowed back into the bungalow, Scully
was visibly exhausted. But there was a healthy color in her face that
kept him from worrying too much. When she said, "I'm fine, just tired," he
found himself believing her.
"How about dinner, then?" Mulder, himself, wasn't the slightest bit
hungry, but he wanted to make sure she was eating right.
"Only if we do it here." She stretched out on the bed. "Or possibly
the beach."
//Avoid beaches,// popped haphazardly into his head. "I'll get
something and bring it back."
They laid on the bed, talking about nothing and picking at the food
between them. It was an easy sort of night, reminiscent of a hundred
others that he'd spent with her, except that none of those had ever ended
with Scully pushing the remains of the dinner they'd shared off of the bed
and then crawling over him. He liked the new twist.
Completely on top of him, arms locked so that her head hung
above his, she smiled down at him. "You were there when I woke up this
morning. It's behavior I definitely want to encourage." She lowered
herself just enough to lightly touch his lips.
"Oh, I'm encouraged," he murmured between kisses. "How are you
feeling tonight?" There was no sense in getting hot and bothered - and
incredibly frustrated - if she wasn't up to the sex of her life. And he wasn't
going to push her. He wanted everything to be perfect for their first time.
A bubbling chuckle spilled out of her. "Frisky."
That's what he wanted to hear.
Mulder flipped her over in a motion that was meant to sweep her
off her feet, but instead was sluggish and clumsy because of his full
stomach, and they knocked heads.
"Ow!"
//Oh, yeah, Mr. Suave. Show her how it's done.//
With her flat on the bed and him lying at her side, he pulled her hands
from their protective hold of her head and placed them on his shoulder and
waist. Ever so gently, he kissed the small bump on her hairline. A shiver
ran though her.
Then, with a wicked grin, she grabbed him and pulled him down on top
of her. Her lips and hands were on him in urgent tandem, pulling and
rubbing and nipping across his skin. She found his mouth and thrust her
tongue into it. Beneath him, her legs parted and he slipped neatly between
them; right where he'd always wanted to be.
Suddenly remembering that he had hands, too, he helped her pull his
tee-shirt free from his jeans; and eventually, after some minor readjusting,
they were able to get it off of his body. Barely. She immediately went to
work on his jeans.
Mulder continued to kiss her mouth, unable to get enough of her,
his fingers working at her knit shirt. He was able to raise it up to the
bottom of her bra when he felt her hands sink into the front of his briefs
and grab him. He lurched in her hands; and feeling himself move, he
hardened even more.
//Oh, God, it's happening! It's really happening!//
She held him tightly, both at his base and tip, as she kissed him.
How she'd managed to yank his jeans and underwear down past his
mid-thighs, Mulder had no idea. He was still working on her shirt.
Moving his lips and hands at the same time was proving more difficult
than it had in the past. But then, never before had he been so giddy, either.
When she started pulling on his length, smoothing up and down his
shaft, he abandoned the whole shirt idea and worked furiously at her jeans.
She stroked him roughly, her own hips rocking in the same rhythm,
as he yanked furiously at her jeans. The damn things wouldn't open. And
it didn't help that his hands were shaking and his palms were sweaty.
"Hurry," she whimpered, her fingers starting to clutch as well as
rub. Her eyes were closed. "Oh, Mulder...hurry..."
His blood was running thick and hot and he knew that as close as
Scully was, he was infinitely closer. He whipped one of his hands down in
a useless attempt to still hers, but when he roughly grabbed her arm, it
startled her enough to squeeze so tightly that it triggered his release, and
there was nothing Mulder could do to hold back the flood within him.
With a muddled cry, his whole being froze in a painful climax, trying to
stop the inevitable gush. His hips bucked involuntarily. He closed his eyes
in humiliation.
//Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit.//
Below him, Scully was stone-still and he loathed to open his eyes to
face her. But it wasn't like he could avoid her, either. And then with a
whole new sense of mortification, he realized she was still holding him.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled, too embarrassed to say anything else. She
didn't respond. So, despite the nagging voice in his head urging him not to,
Mulder opened his eyes to survey the damage.
Scully lay staring down at her opened hands, his newly limp
member, and half of the bed covered in the remains of what was supposed
to be the best sex of her life. Wasn't that what he'd promised for her?
When she looked back up at him, her face was like a six year old's who'd
just inadvertently pulled the wings from a butterfly.
"Oops."
End of 15/17
He stood on the mat for what seemed like hours, in the red reesa
that Chea had given him to wear. Mulder still couldn't believe that he'd put
it on. He was sure that the moment Scully saw him wearing the
short towel/skirt she was going to either laugh hysterically or worse: tease
him incessantly about it for the rest of his natural life.
"It's not a skirt," Kyle had said, "and everyone is going to be
wearing them. They're traditional."
"Are you wearing one?"
"Hell no."
It had taken the two men nearly half an hour to figure out how the
material was supposed to wrap low around Mulder's hips and tie at just the
crucial spot to give him enough modesty to be reasonably comfortable.
"Well it may be traditional," he'd said to Kyle once the reesa was in
place, "but it's definitely a skirt."
"Hey," Kyle had teased, "you've got nice legs!"
But an hour later, in the heat of the early afternoon sun, they'd told
Mulder to stand on the heavy mat that'd been laid out on the sandy beach
as the hundreds of villagers talked and laughed amongst themselves and the
banquet that had been set up under the trees that lined the edge of the
shore. Kyle was right about one thing: everyone did seem to be wearing
reesas.
Eventually, Kyle came back out of the crowd and joined Mulder on
the mat. "Hey, you okay? You're not looking so good."
"I'm not feeling so good," Mulder bit out. "I'm hot and burning.
What the hell am I waiting for?"
"Well, they're having a little trouble with Scully-"
"What?!" Mulder demanded. "Is she sick?" Was that why he'd
been on the verge of vomiting for over an hour? Had he instinctively
known she was ill?
"No no no," Kyle assured him. "It's just that the dress they want
her to wear doesn't cover as much as she'd like. You're going to fall over
when you see her."
"You've seen her already?"
"Yeah. Megan's trying to calm her down. She seemed to feel
better knowing you were wearing a skirt." The goading grin on his friend's
face didn't help his mood at all.
"Oh, thank you very much."
Then the whole island erupted in drum beats and the crowds parted to
reveal Dana Katherine Scully in all of her glory, standing bare footed and
elegant in a blood red dress. She took Mulder's breath away. The neckline
was as low as it could possibly be, sweeping from thin straps over her
shoulders. Her midriff was completely bare, gleaming whiter than white
in the bright sun. The skirt was just about the same length as Mulder's
reesa, ending mid-thigh and tieing low on her hip.
Her hair was pulled back into coiled rows and braided with small
red and yellow flowers that softened the self-conscious scowl she wore.
"My God," Mulder heard himself saying, "she's beautiful."
When she saw Mulder, her face cleared. They drew strength from
each other, like always, with nothing more than a look.
Chea cleared his throat nervously, and stepped forward along with
an older couple. "This is Jool and Ghan, they are the longest married
couple on the island. They will be performing the wedding," Chea
explained.
Mulder nodded at the couple, and they smiled agreeably back.
"Are the two of you ready?"
Mulder looked at Scully beside him, and took her hand. "Any
second thoughts?" he asked playfully.
Her momentary hesitation doubled his heart rate. "No."
"You had to think about it?"
"No." She looked down at his hand and then squeezed it. "No,
there are some things we've never talked about, though. Things that we
should air before we get married back in the States."
Mulder swallowed. "Like what?"
"Like I'm not doing your laundry," she said dryly. "Like I can't
have children and I know that you want them." She played with his
knuckle. "Like how you're going to deal with my death," she quietly
added.
"You're not going to die, Scully."
"Mulder, I know it's not something you deal with very well, but it's
a reality we're both going to have to-"
"No."
She sighed and looked away. "We can talk about this later."
"No." He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her over to the nearest
tent. Gasps and disruptive murmurs from the crowd told Mulder that his
action wasn't taken well by the villagers. He didn't care. At that moment
there was something more important to deal with.
Inside the cloth tent, out of the brutal sun, the air was a little
cooler. Scully yanked her arm away and barked out, "Don't you ever do
that again!"
He got in her face. "And don't *you* ever throw your cancer in my
face again!"
She looked shocked. "I wasn't doing...Mulder," she sighed and
started again in a reasonable tone, "There are some inevitabilities that are
inherent in my condition. I want to marry you - I want to be with you - but
not if it's going to make things harder for you in the long run."
"The Milk, Scully..."
And as what he was alluding to sank in, her face transformed to her
professional Scully ceramic mask. "Is that what you think? That being in
that pool means that I'm cured?"
"Yes."
"Mulder -"
"Scully, you were vegetative when we put you in there. If it could
heal-"
"How do you know it had anything to do with my recovery? There
were no tests run, no physician examined me. How do you know that I
didn't recover on my own?"
Mulder bit the inside of his cheek. She was asking him for proof
again, and once again he didn't have any. It was the story of their
partnership. "Because, Scully, I was there. I saw you. I held you in my
arms." He took a breath. "You. Weren't. There."
She wasn't sure how to respond, so she shifted her weight and tilted
her head and refused to meet him eye to eye.
"Do you not want to do this today?" He knew he had to ask, even
though he didn't really want the answer. He had to giver her a way out
gracefully, if he was going to keep any of her. And so what if they didn't
get married? That didn't mean they couldn't be together.
"Of course," she grumbled. "Why else would I put on this dress?"
"Because you look amazing."
"I do?"
He ran a single finger down the side of her cheek. "More beautiful
than the first day I met you."
The wedding ceremony consisted of very little ceremony at all. There
was about ten minutes that Chea interpreted for the old Erlonian couple as
they relived the worst moments of their marriage - so that Mulder and
Scully might guide their lives away from similar troubles, though Mulder
was fairly sure that goats, no matter how troubled their marriage might get,
wouldn't factor highly in their lives.
Then there was a dance that was performed by the new bride and
groom that imitated the moves of the older couple, as an offering to Her.
After that, Mulder was placed directly in front of Scully, and the vows
were exchanged. First the older man spoke, with Chea translating, and
Mulder recited: "Today I give you my life, my hopes, my all and we are
one. May we find Her together." Scully released a small gasp at the
perfect double entendre.
Then it was Scully's turn. "Today your life becomes mine, your hopes
become mine, your all is me and we are one." But she deviated
from the text that Chea fed her and added with tears in her eyes, "I
believe...we will find her together. I've always believed that, Mulder."
Mulder reached to cup her face and seal the vows with a kiss, but
Chea stopped him.
"Not yet. There's one more thing before the ceremony is over."
The Erlonian couple took a wooden bowl from the table behind them and
scooped a yellowish liquid from an ornately carved bucket. Each of them
sipped from the water bowl, and then handed it to Mulder. The brew
smelled like burned citrus.
"Take only a sip," Chea instructed.
"What is it?"
"A lemon brandy that is used in all ceremonies. The recipe, it is
said, came from Her, Herself, and carries within it luck and good fortune."
Mulder tasted it and nearly choked. "Ugh! It's terrible!" With an over
done show of glee, he handed the bowl to Scully. "Here, try it."
"Thanks," she said dryly.
"Now, Dr. Scully, you must finish the rest."
Her brows lifted. "Why do I have to drink it?"
Chea shrugged. "Tradition."
"Brilliant." She eyed the bowl warily and then in one amazing
effort, drained it. She gagged from the taste. "Ugh!"
The crowd of villagers that circled their large mat erupted in cheers and
chants and the drums started their rhythmic beating once more.
"Now what?" Mulder turned to Chea. "Is that it?"
"Now you and the bride go into the tent." He pointed to the large
tent behind the smaller two.
"And do what?"
Chea smiled and shrugged. "What ever comes naturally, I'm told."
The husband and wife who had conducted their ceremony were smiling
brightly and nodding their heads, pointing to the tent.
Scully studied the bowl. "Can I get some more of this?"
"Scully, you can't be serious. That stuff is disgusting."
Chea seemed pleased. "The women always want more," he said to
Mulder, before turning back to Scully. "Of course. The rest is intended for
you."
Mulder's face soured as he watched his partner - wife - down bowlful
after bowlful of the liquid, emptying the entire pail.
"Scully, if you're thirsty, I'm sure we can get you some water or
something."
"This is fine," she managed to get out between swallows.
"Well, slow down. It's alcoholic at the very least -"
"I've tasted something like this before. Recently. I know I have."
"I certainly hope not."
When the brew was finally gone, Scully made a bee-line for one of
the banquet tables.
"Uh, Dana? Where are you-"
"Aren't you hungry?" She ripped a chunk of sticky bread from a
loaf and promptly shoved it into her mouth. "I'm famished."
She picked up food left and right, and without bothering with
a plate or utensils, began to stuff down everything in sight. The crowd
continued to mingle, but as people passed the gorging Scully, they would
smile and point and nod encouragingly.
"Try this, Mulder, it's fabulous!"
He grabbed her shoulders and turned her to him. "Scully, what the
hell is the matter with you?" The hunk of meat she'd had in her hand fell to
the ground and, from head to toe, one huge convulsion racked her body.
Then, with her eyes closed, her knees gave way and she grasped Mulder's
forearms to keep from crumbling to the ground.
"Oh..."
All of the old fears that he'd managed to let go so quickly flooded
through him in an instant. //Please, please, please don't let her be sick. Not
again. Please, please, not again.//
"...Mulder..."
He crushed her to him, and she convulsed again. "Ooooh!"
"Scully!" His panic was making his shake. "Dana, talk to me.
Don't pass out, Dana. Stay with me. Please!"
"Mulder?" She raised her head sluggishly, and with the most
lopsided grin Mulder'd ever seen, she mumbled, "That was incredible."
"Scully?"
"I've heard stories about women reaching orgasm with simple
casual contact, but I never thought..."
Mulder brow furrowed in confusion. "Scully?"
"Kiss me Mulder."
Her eyes seemed a little glassy to him, and her face was definitely
flushed, but other than that she seemed as healthy as he'd ever seen her: no
nose bleed, no pale skin. So, he did as she asked and pressed his lips
against hers, and to Mulder's delight and infinite amusement, his partner
shuddered beneath him with a gasp.
From out of the crowd, Kyle and Megan appeared; both all
smiles. Scully managed to pull herself together enough to turn to their
friends.
"May I be the first to kiss the blushing bride?" Kyle was so chivalrous.
Mulder wanted to punch him. The flood of jealousy came out of no where,
and there was nothing Mulder could do to stop it.
"No!" Both Scully and Mulder yelled in unison, much to the utter
shock of their friends. Scully tried to cover with, "we're going to the tent."
"In this crowd?," Kyle asked cheerfully, quickly recovering from what
he clearly thought was odd behavior from his friends. "You're going to
need a bulldozer. Let us help." He turned to the villagers and jovially
called out, "Make way for the bride and groom!" And as the curious
people turned - most of who had no idea what he'd just said - Kyle placed a
friendly hand on Scully's shoulder.
She twitched and pressed her body against Mulder, riding out the
brief climax.
Kyle's face dropped to serious concern. "Hey, is she okay?" Then
he touched her face to be sure she was conscious.
She came again.
"You son of a bitch!" Mulder lost it. His fit of jealousy colored his
vision and Mulder jerked his new wife out of range of Kyle's wandering
hands and decked the guy. Kyle never saw it coming.
"What the hell is the matter with you, Mulder?!" Megan's fury boiled.
She stepped between Mulder and her husband, daring him to hit her the
same way. Panting, he realized what he'd just done. Mulder backed up a
few paces.
"I'm...sorry. Sort of," he mumbled, not at all feeling an ounce of
sorrow. "You didn't know." //You touched her, you goddamned
asshole!// Even though Kyle was on the ground, and Mulder knew
intellectually that he hadn't meant to cause Scully's "reactions", Mulder still
wanted to clobber the guy. He didn't understand the violent impulse, but
he tried to quell it.
"Know what?" Kyle demanded.
"Uh..." And Mulder was once again at a loss of words, wrestling with
his inner turmoil and Scully's fondling hands. She moaned from behind
him. "Mulder..." Her voice was raspy with desire. "Mulder, touch me..."
Her lips kissed the plea into his spine. His libido when into overdrive.
//Oh man, oh man, oh man.//
Apparently judging that Mulder was no longer a threat to her
husband, Megan backed off her protective stance and bent down to help
Kyle up from the sand. "You're a lunatic, Mulder!"
A crowd had gathered around them, catching Scully's attention.
The second Mulder felt her arms slither from his torso, he turned to see her
reaching for one of the small ogling men on the sidelines. Mulder snatched
her hands before she could make contact with the villager, and crushed her
to him.
"What the hell are you doing, Scully?!"
She shook in his arms. "Ahhhhh..."
"CHEA!" Mulder knew he was going to kill the lying son of a bitch
murderer when he got his hands on him. "Chea! Damn it, where the hell
are you?" Scully hungrily kissed across his chest before her mouth latched
on to his right nipple. He gritted his teeth and pried her lips from his skin.
"Scully, stop it." His firm hold on her face gave her another strong climax
and her legs gave out again, and when he caught her, she cried out in
exquisite pleasure, "AHHHHHHH!"
"CHEA!"
When the marked man finally broke through the crowd, his eyes
went wide at what he found.
"Chea, what kind of drugs were in that lemon brandy?! What did
you give her?"
"No drugs," Chea insisted, shaking his head in disbelief. "This is the
effect it has on women, but never to this extent." He glanced at the tents.
"I'll help you get her inside-"
"Chea, I swear to God, if you touch her, I'll kill you where you
stand."
He froze and swallowed, seeing Kyle's quickly swelling lips and
picturing Mulder's words literally. "Right," he said, "I'll clear the way."
Mulder scooped his wife into his arms, much to her sensual delight,
and followed Chea as he parted the way through the mob of people.
Inside the large tent there was a huge wooden bed, tables of food
and drink, and a thick carpet covering the sandy floor. Mulder dropped the
protesting Scully in the middle of the bed and went to the side table to pour
her some water.
"I'm not thirsty," she complained. "Mulder...come here." He
glanced over his shoulder at her seductive tone, just in time to see her
undoing her skirt. She unfolded the flaps of material and laid them flat on
the bed. To Mulder's surprised excitement, Scully hadn't worn any panties.
The sight of her slender white legs flowing smoothly up into gently
rounded hips, and the nest of thick hair in the shallow valley between them,
sent his own body soaring with heat and lust. Her nimble fingers fanned
over her abdomen, moving slowly lower. She moaned. "Mulder...please..."
The glass fell from his shaking hand, and he ripped at the knot at his
own hip. In the three strides it took him to get over to the bed, he'd
managed to rip the reesa from his body, and drop his briefs to his ankles.
He stepped out of them and climbed on the bed. Her legs parted for him.
"Hurry..."
He was hard so penetration wasn't going to be a problem, but the
romantic in Mulder screamed to take things slowly; to build up to their
first joining with kisses and foreplay.
"Hurry, Fox..."
He crawled over her, careful not to touch her in fear of sending her
flying again, and looked down at her glowing face. Foreplay was tricky
when physical contact was restricted. And damned impossible when she
grabbed his ass and slammed him down on top of her. He tried to right
himself, and in the seconds it took him to recover, she'd grabbed his
erection and positioned him. Then she leaned up and kissed him, sliding
her tongue against his, and he lost all desire to do anything but sink inside
her.
The kiss had brought another orgasm for her, and as he was
swallowed up by her body, her muscles milked and stretched him
convulsively. It was all he could do to get his hips to respond enough to
set up a rhythm. Anything fancy would have to wait.
Scully didn't seem to mind. With each plunge he made inside of
her, a new climax shuddered through her. It was only a matter of minutes
before she lay still beneath him, unable to respond anymore to the
explosions of pleasure that were repeatedly tormenting her body. She
relaxed limply, too exhausted to do anything else, and watched him make
love to her through slitted eyes, allowing her involuntary muscles to
continue to twitch and contract around him. The result was wildly erotic.
She studied his face, seeing the ecstasy in his eyes, knowing what
her body was doing to him. A sleepy grin parted her lips. Mulder broke
into a sweat.
There really was no need to stretch things out, so when he felt the
pressure in his groin building, his pumping hips increased their pace and he
rammed into her hard as his own release swept through him. Knowing
that she was watching him come, he kept his own eyes open as much as he
could. And the expression on her face transformed, going from sedate
interest and amusement to one of absolute wonder. Her eyes were wide
and brimming with tears by the time he finished emptying inside of her. He
gave a final thrust, and she climaxed again, crumbling beneath him,
clutching his shoulders in a painful grip.
He waited nearly a minute for her last orgasm to die down before
he lifted himself from her and withdrew. The tears had managed to escape
her eyes and trail down the sides of her face. He was moved to kiss one.
"Tell me it wasn't that bad," he joked lightly. "It was great for me."
She turned to look at him with the same child-like awe in her eyes.
"Scully, what is it?"
"I love you," she said simply.
The pin-pricks in his own eyes watered his vision. She'd said it. Yes, of
course, he'd known that she loved him...but to hear her say it...
"I knew that I did," she continued, placing a hand on the side of his
face. "I've known it for years...and still..." The words escaped her. "I love
you."
She pulled him back down to her then, and he let her hold him while he
drifted in and out of a contented sleep.
When he finally woke, the tent was dark with night, but the
festivities outside sounded as if they were still in full swing. Mulder
managed to climb out of the bed without waking his partner, and grabbed
his discarded underwear and reesa. The briefs he had no problem with.
The reesa, on the other hand, needed an instruction manual.
He peeked out the tent flap, hoping to find Kyle, and spotted both
him and his wife lounging on the outskirts of the party on a large blanket.
They both seemed contented with the evening, sharing a plate of something
and sipping wine.
The earlier non-guilt turned into full-fledged shame. Mulder'd
managed to deck one of the few human beings on the planet who he knew
for a fact was his friend. And it wasn't Kyle's fault that he didn't recognize
Scully's...condition. Hell, Mulder hadn't caught on until the third or fourth
time either.
//Aw, shit.//
Megan spotted him from the corner of her eye, and she poked
at her husband and then pointed to Mulder. Kyle stood, brushed off his
pants, and headed for the tent. Mulder made a quick jump to the bed and
covered his sleeping bride with a blanket before Kyle scratched at the
outside flap.
"Hi." He opened the flap enough for his friend to enter. "How's it
going?"
"Not bad." Kyle grinned at Scully and then discreetly avoided
looking at her for the rest of his visit. "You tired her out."
"Well, something like that." Mulder sighed, "Look. About the
punch -"
Kyle raised his hands in surrender. "Say no more. Meggie and I
figured out what must've happened." He pocketed his hands in his jeans.
"And now she's hitting up Chea for a couple of gallons of the stuff." He
looked less than excited. "Luckily Chea is forbidden by custom to give out
either the recipe or the brandy to anyone outside of a traditional
ceremony." He winced. "Once she heard that she started making plans to
come back here to renew our vows. And I'm telling you, I don't buy that
she just wants to be married to me in every culture in the world."
Mulder chuckled.
"So, I guess you're going to need some clothes." Kyle gestured to
Mulder's state of undress.
"Scully, too. Something not quite so revealing."
Both men smirked.
Kyle headed for the exit. "Oh, I don't know if you're aware of this
or not, but the bride and groom are expected to go for a midnight swim in
the ocean."
"We are?"
"It signals the end of the wedding festivities, so everyone can go
home to get some rest. No one can leave until you guys go skinny
dipping."
"And what's the ceremonial relevance of that?"
Kyle shrugged and grinned. "I think they just want to see the two of
you naked." With a laugh, Kyle popped out the door.
Scully slept and slept. Her breathing was deep and even and
comforting to Mulder. It was nice to see her face free of the usual pain and
tension she'd grown accustomed to carrying with her. She slept on her
back, arms and legs skewed, her head turned off center. It was a position
that spoke volumes about her trust for him and for his ability to protect
her. Not that she couldn't take care of herself - Mulder was very aware of
just how capable she was in that category. But while she slept in the bed
with him, after they'd made love, she trusted even subconsciously that
nothing would happen to her.
//GOD! What was I thinking? How could I have ever doubted?//
He rolled closer to her, studying the perfect way her neck sloped into her
shoulder. The skin there was so smooth, he simply had to brush his lips
across it. She didn't stir. So he kissed her next to the first kiss, wetting
her
collarbone with his nipping mouth. She didn't move.
Mulder moved lower, pulling the blanket down to her belly and ran
just the tip of his tongue across her rising nipple. This time, when he
looked up, she wore a smile on her face. "It's so nice to wake up to you."
Her murmur turned into a yawn. She rolled to him, her face radiant and
happy. "Mr. Scully."
Mulder laughed, and her smile brightened even further. "My God,
you're beautiful." Tears sprang to her eyes.
She turned her head and blinked, slapping at him. "Stop that,
Mulder."
"Stop what? Telling you that you're beautiful? I won't."
"No. Stop catching me unprepared. I don't like being this out of
control." She sniffed back the emotion. "When you're going to be
sentimental, I want you to warn me."
There was a scratching sound on the outside of the tent, and then
Kyle's voice. "Mulder? It's midnight."
Scully's natural modesty whipped the blanket up over her.
"Okay Kyle. We'll be out in a minute."
She looked at him quizzically.
"So, Scully," he said as if he were starting a new topic off the top of
his head. "You feel like a swim?"
End of 16/17
The water was cold. Gritty from the kicked up sand and salt, and cold.
But the tide was weak and the waves were minimal, thank God. Mulder
had no desire to lose Scully to an under tow once he finally had her exactly
where he wanted her: pressed up against him, clinging to his shoulders
because her feet didn't reach the bottom; her breasts freely brushing up
against his chest as the current shifted, his own member bobbing between
her legs seeking more than just the casual contact. And Mulder was sure
that if the water wasn't so damn cold, it would get it.
Her hair was slicked back from her face, leaving the half moon to
cast drastic shadows on the sharp angles of her cheeks and nose. And her
mouth, //God, her mouth,// so full and ripe with droplets of water
beaded on her lips. //So beautiful...//
On shore, the lights had faded and the party had finally trickled out.
Several of the Tiki torches were left to burn so they wouldn't have trouble
finding the tent again. It was just the two of them, holding each other,
moving with the water that surrounded them.
"You're not seasick, are you?"
"Nope."
"It's because you're not fighting it. You're letting the current move
through you."
"It's because I have you in my arms."
She kissed him, reaching up and pulling his head closer to her. Her
salty tongue dueled with his.
//May I never get enough of kissing her.//
He felt her hands slide to his back, locking around his neck as she
pulled herself closer to his and locked her thighs around his hips. "Have
you ever made love in the water, Mulder?" Her velvet voice sounded coy
in his ear.
"You mean with someone else?"
She nipped at his ear. "Don't you know that playing with others is
more fun?"
//Damn the cold water!// "Don't you want to go back to the tent?
Aren't you cold?"
She shook her head. "The water's cold, but I'm hot." He knew that
she was making a bawdy joke, but with her belly pressed so firmly against
his, he could tell that she was, indeed very warm.
"Aren't you usually inexplicably cold?"
"See what you do to me?" Her hand reached between them and
found his root. Mulder managed to stifle most of the grunt. "Oh, I see,"
her brows dropped. "*You're* cold."
"Geez, Scully. You sure know how to lift a guy's ego."
Her eyes danced with mischief. "Oh, that I can do." The she
slipped from him and pushed herself from his grasp. Her head immediately
went under. Panic, pure and simple ripped through Mulder, and he
grabbed her unceremoniously by the arms and pulled her back above water.
"Scully!"
"Mulder, let go. I know what I'm doing."
When she slipped under a second time, it took everything in him not
to reach for her again. What the hell was she doing? With her gone, and
him standing alone in the water, he caught a glimpse of just how lonely his
life used to be. The sound of the water moving around him made him
nervous. Were there people on shore watching?
It was only seconds later that he felt her hands on his thighs, and a
warm softness encircling his penis. Mulder went very still. "Scully, I hope
to God that's you." Then there was a tongue and the barest pressure of a
set of perfect teeth. And when the hands slid up and cupped his ass, fixing
her head firmly over him, the gentle sucking began.
//Holy flaming cow...//
It took a matter of seconds for his erection to bloom, not much
longer than that for Scully to resurface, and then a slight thrust that
embedded him deep within her. She was like fire in ice, circling him so
tightly. Her thighs and legs used his for leverage as she slowly began to lift
herself on his shaft; and when she did, the flood of cold water brought an
aching pain to the heat of his erection. And then he pushed her back down
on to him, and her warmth returned.
"Jesus."
They set up a rhythm like that, her pushing up, him pulling down;
the rest of their bodies trying to compensate for the water and the waves,
their mouths meeting in passing - a nip here, a brush of a lip there. They
even made love as a team.
"Mulder," she managed to gasp between thrusts, "I don't...want
this...to end."
//What? Does she think I'm some sort of super man?//
"I'm afraid...to go home..." She'd said it with such a raw sincerity that
he showed their rhythm and looked her in the eye. She looked at his chest.
"I'm afraid that when we get back, you're going to remember all
about your quest for truth and justice - and your sister - and forget me."
//Was she serious?// "How could I possibly forget you? You're part of
that."
"No, I mean this part of me. The Dana me. Now that I have you -
that I know I really have you - I *am* afraid of losing you. Mulder it
terrifies me more than anything else ever has."
"Scully - Dana - today I gave you my life...my hopes...my all. We
are one." He kissed her forehead and then the tip of her nose. "I
believe..."
"I believe..." Her kiss then was soft and warm, sealing any doubts
she had away from sight.
They continued to make love, both in the water and on shore, until
they were spent and tired. And then they crawled back to the comfort of
the bed, pulled the blankets up over their heads, and slept cocooned
together in their own little world.
The following morning, on the deck of The Lady, Mulder and
Scully stood side by side and waved to the hundreds of well-wishers that
had packed the dock and beaches. Kyle untied the massive boat and
Megan steered them away from land. Morg the dog, panting happily at
Scully's side, offered two farewell barks as they motored away.
"Did they get the electrical equipment working?" Scully asked beside
him.
Mulder slid his arm around her shoulders as the people on the island
became smaller and smaller and their cheers were drowned out by the
sound of the wind and surf. "Megan found two busted fuses, but she
swears that they looked fine before we docked."
Scully's face darkened a little. "Theories?"
"None." He smiled down at her and pulled her completely into his
arms. "I'm on vacation."
She laughed giddily until he pressed his mouth against hers.
//Home.//
The following fourteen days were spent on the several islands
surrounding Bermuda and in the water between them. Mulder grew more
and more convinced with every passing day that the substance they'd
encountered in the Heart of Erlona had had a drastic effect on Scully's
cancer, though he refused to broach the touchy subject with her until they
stepped foot again on the mainland. But her energy was up, she was
sleeping and eating like it was going out of fashion; and most importantly,
when they were intimate, he could feel the life in her. It was a palpable
energy. In his mind and soul, Scully simply wasn't dying.
"YAHTZEE!"
Mulder looked down at his own sheet and winced at the pathetic
scores. Scully was too good at the game. She'd won 8 out of 8
games that day alone, and it looked like she might win 8 more. Mulder
picked up her pad.
"You've got to be adding this wrong. How can you keep winning?"
"It's called skill, Mulder." She tossed her pencil in the game box
and leaned back on her elbows.
She was filling out her baby blue bikini much better than she had
weeks before, and her skin was tanner and her hair a much more brilliant
red. She looked good enough to eat. It was too bad Kyle and Megan were
sitting just inches away from her on the deck of The Lady, or he would've
tried.
"Enough Yahtzee," she announced. "The sun feels too good."
"I second that," Megan said with flair. She pulled off her glasses
and let the heat and cool breeze play over her face. "Let's swim to shore
and bake on the beach."
"Sounds good to me." Scully was on her feet and ready to dive
before Mulder could stop her. Megan was right on her tail. The two of
them made a beautiful streamline dive into the clear shallow water of the
cove they were anchored in and surfaced smoothly.
"You'd think they've been friends forever," Kyle said watching
them. "Megan doesn't have a lot of female friends."
"Neither does Scully. I'm glad we met you guys." He headed down
below to grab some sunscreen and one of the water-tight bags for towels
and fresh water. "Doesn't she look healthy to you?"
"Very." Kyle pulled out a camera from one of the cabinets. "How
about a few snap shots for posterity?"
"Absolutely." He sealed the bag and headed back up to the deck.
"She's gaining weight, too."
"I wouldn't worry about that." Kyle smiled out at the women who
were climbing out onto the white sandy shore already. "That's normal."
"No, I'm not worried. She'd gotten so thin...I'm thrilled she's
putting the weight back on. It's nice to see her actually eating again."
Kyle laughed. "And how!"
Mulder dove in the water, and it was cool and refreshing against his
sun-kissed skin. It was going to be hard for him to get back to the cold
rainy fall of DC. Back to life in reality after he'd tasted paradise.
They sailed into the harbor in Miami just before dusk. In the
marina, they had a slow, relaxing dinner with good friends and casual
conversation. Scully excused herself before the after-dinner coffee arrived
to visit the ladies room and call her messages. Mulder dreaded having to
wade through over a month of unanswered calls.
When she returned her smile was a little more strained than it
should've been.
"Everything all right?" Mulder tried to ask casually, knowing that
there was indeed something behind the tension in her brow.
"Fine," she said. "There was just a message from Skinner. There
was a break in the last case we were on, and they've asked for us back."
Mulder wasn't thrilled with the prospect of going back to the case,
either. There hadn't been any evidence of paranormal phenomenon
involved in any aspect of it. Just your standard serial killer preying on sick
and dying children. "So they think they caught the guy?"
She nodded. "Actually, they want you there to do the interrogation
and match the profile. I told Skinner I wanted to go along. There was
some discrepancies in some of the findings of the last three victims. I want
to check it out."
Mulder nodded. "When do we leave?"
"Uh..." She looked at her watch. "In about two hours. There's a
forty-five minute layover in DC, so there won't even be time to run home.
They've been trying to get ahold of us for the last week or so." She picked
at the coffee cake that was set before her, and then pushed the plate away.
//Great. There goes her appetite again.//
"Dana." Megan looked at her as if she was expecting her to say
something more.
"Not now, Meg." Scully sipped at her coffee.
Mulder checked out Kyle's confused expression and was relieved to
find he wasn't the only one left in the dark. "Scully, what's going on?"
She gave Megan a look and then inhaled sharply, sat up and turned
to her partner. "Nothing. Nothing's up." She sipped her drink
self-consciously. "So there's nothing up." Scully didn't lie well.
Megan gave her a hard look and must've decided that it wasn't
worth pursuing any longer, because she went back to her dessert, too.
It royally pissed him off that she was keeping something from him
that she'd already deemed Megan worthy enough to know. He threw his
napkin on his desert plate and pushed his chair back from the table. He
wasn't feeling hungry anymore, either.
"I'm going to check my messages," he grumbled and marched to the
bank of pay phones just outside the restrooms. No one stopped him.
Once he'd punched in the numbers to his calling card and got his
answering machine to start replaying the messages, he tuned out the voices
and looked back at the table. Scully's back was to him so he wasn't able to
read her expression, but she was slouched over her elbows, holding her
head in her hands. Megan was leaning in close from across the table and
obviously saying something that Scully didn't want to hear because she
repeatedly shook her head until her hands flew up and she yelled,
"Enough!" Kyle was sitting quietly, not wanting to get involved.
So, there was something that she wasn't telling him. Something
that Megan thought he should know. It burned Mulder's stomach to think
that she was still keeping secrets from him. What was it about him that she
couldn't trust?
He hung up the phone. The messages would still be there when he
got home - assuming he would ever get back to his apartment again.
Suddenly DC seemed an immeasurable distance.
He went into the men's room to wash his face.
Three hours later, after soulful good-byes were said and promises
made for future visits, Mulder sat next to his partner in the coach section of
the MD-40. She sat rod-straight in the chair and hadn't said more than
single word sentences after they'd boarded. Mulder's anger and frustration
grew.
When the captain turned off the Fasten Seat Belts sign, she turned
to him deliberately and placed a gripping hand on his arm.
"Okay," her voice was low and breathy, "I'm going to say this only
once, so you'd better be listening." She sat back in her seat and took a
deep breath. "Before, when we were working on the Make A Wish case -
before, actually - I hadn't been feeling well."
Mulder nodded. "That isn't news to me."
"Right. Well, I had decided that that case was going to be my last."
She looked down to her clasped hands and played with the tips of her
thumb nails. "I didn't tell you because...I don't know why. I guess because
I was afraid you'd agree with me." Her faint smile was halfway hidden by a
lock of her hair. "And I really didn't want my retirement to be the first
thing that we agreed on."
"Did you put in the paperwork? Is that what you're trying to tell
me?"
"No. I was going to handle everything once the case was solved. I
didn't have the strength to deal with both at once." She looked into his
eyes. "But, Mulder, I feel good now. Stronger. I'm not going to retire."
Her expression reflected both determination and trepidation.
"Good, because the thought of trying to get a temp who can
perform an autopsy *and* run in those heels, quite frankly, makes me
shudder."
She rolled her eyes. "Mulder..."
"Seriously, though, I don't understand the problem. Why didn't you
just tell me this? Why could you tell Megan this and not me?"
Scully shrugged and looked out the window. "I wanted to tell you,
but you were always so...stifling. And every time I'd sneeze you'd look at
me with these I'm-sorry eyes. Do you know how hard that is to live with,
Mulder?"
"I'm sorry."
"And now that I feel almost myself again..."
The way her voice trailed off told Mulder that they were finally
getting to the heart of the matter. "And now?"
"Well. Now we're going back. To my last case."
"But you just said you're not retiring -"
She closed her eyes in frustration. "Look for the symbolism,
Mulder." Then she sighed and offered him an apologetic smile. "I don't
know. Maybe it's nothing." She was scared. It was written all over her
face.
He took her hand in his, and gave it a supportive squeeze.
"This isn't your last case, Scully. This is our first case *together*."
He lightly kissed her knuckles.
The rest of the flight was a blur. His mind and heart raced towards new
possibilities. When he jerked back to reality, the plane was making its
rough landing on the ground and rain was beading down the small
passenger windows. Another stormy day in the nation's capital.
The loud speaker crackled to life. "On behalf of myself and the
entire flight crew of Continental Airlines, we'd like to thank you for flying
with us. To our passengers who are continuing on, we wish you safe
journeys to your final destination; and to those of you whose final
destination is DC...welcome home."
End of 17/17
EPILOGUE:
"Hey, Scully!" Mulder called to her from the kitchen where he was
stirring the chicken noodle soup and looking through the mail that was
tossed haphazardly on the counter top.
"Huh?" Her congested effort to respond made his stomach twinge.
She'd been sick for something like a week, though she'd refused to *admit*
she had the flu until she'd actually thrown up on him in bed. An experience
he made her swear would never happen again.
"This card is addressed to the both of us." He lifted the plain white
envelope. The return address was a PO Box in Miami. "Hey! I think it's
from Megan and Kyle!" He wandered into the living room where he'd
propped her up on the couch. Her medication was lined up on the coffee
table, as was a glass of water, the remote control, and a fresh box of
Kleenex.
"Read it to me."
He slipped his finder under the flap and ripped the envelope open. Out
slid a card than knocked Mulder for a loop. He stared down at his partner,
her cheeks alight with fever. "Scully, is there something you're not telling
me?"
Her brows lowered. "What does it say?"
"Congratulations on the expectation of your new bundle of joy."
Her complete look of shock and the drawing of the naked baby on the
cover of the card left him conflicted. He continued. "We want to be the
first to congratulate you on your first child. Kyle says she's beautiful.
Can't wait to see her. Much love, Megan and Kyle."
"Why would they think... Did you tell them we were pregnant?"
"Scully?"
"What? Don't you think you'd be the first person I'd tell if I were?"
"Scully..."
"This is cruel." She sneezed and blew her nose loudly. "Megan
knows I can't...that I'm sterile. We talked about it."
"Scully, it said that Kyle -"
"I know what it says, dammit."
Mulder backed off. She was sick and cranky and upset. He went back
into the kitchen to turn off the soup, his mind spinning. They hadn't
bothered with protected sex since there didn't seem to be much point.
Both of them had been in and out of the hospital so much that there was a
complete blood work up for every possible disease imaginable - VD wasn't
an issue. And since Scully couldn't...
Except maybe she could. The Milk had cured her cancer, why not
her sterility?
"Mulder." She stood at the door of the kitchen, leaning heavily
against it with her hip. "I know what you're thinking. But the female body
doesn't work that way. We're born with a set number of eggs. Once those
are gone, they're gone. We don't make any more."
"But you can't tell me it's impossible that the Heart-"
"That's what I'm telling you."
He was thinking on his feet; always a bad idea when talking about a
touchy subject with Scully. "What if I go out now and get one of those
home tests. Then we can be certain-"
"Mulder, I'm not taking a home pregnancy test."
"Please?"
Her top lip thinned a little and she sighed. "I can see how much
you want this. But I think it's just plain cruel to get your hopes up-"
"Women often display symptoms of the flu in the first trimester."
"Rarely."
"But they do. You admit it."
"Of course. It's a scientific fact."
"Scully. Will you take the test? Just for me?"
Her eyes closed and her face displayed the weary grimace she always
formed when she was about to give in on something she didn't want to do.
"On two conditions."
"Name them."
"First, you never ask me to do this again."
He nodded reluctantly.
"And two: we talk about other options."
"Other options?"
"Adoption, artificial insemination with a donor egg, a surrogate..."
"What?!"
"I'm just asking that we talk."
She sneezed three times in a row and then retired back to the
couch. "I'll pee on a stick for you if you're willing to meet my conditions."
Mulder grabbed his jacket from the closet by the door. "I'll be back
in fifteen."
Half an hour later, the stick turned pink.
End of Erlona's Heart.
Acknowledgments: First I need to thank my beta team (Lisa, Karen,
Madeline, Shannon, Lee, Kathy, Allegra, Dia and BeckyD) for sticking by
me through the months that it took to write this. Well, most of you did.
OK - half of you. ;P And also a huge thank you to Lee and Kathy for their
helpful comments and observations.
But it wouldn't be fair to go a step farther without thanking Dianora, who
came to my aid and edited the crap out of this baby, giving line by line
notes in order to get it into shape and shave a good 20 pages off the
finished product. All of the hard work and effort that you put into this
project of mine means the world to me.
And to Lacy, for everything.