From: xflilbear@aol.com (XF lilbear) Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: New "Fantasies" NC-17 Date: 3 Nov 1995 14:19:51 -0500 "Fantasies" - NC-17 by XF lilbear (Ursa Minor) This is my first attempt at writing anything like this and I have to confess that I'm still nervous about posting it. However, a bunch of folks wrote and encouraged me (whoever said this is a friendly bunch was right!) to post this. Thanks again to all of you who wrote, and especially to Karen, who gave me the title. I should warn everybody now that this is NC-17. If you don't know what this means you're too young to be reading it, anyway. So flame me for other aspects of the story if you want (I'm hoping you won't) but YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED about the adult content. The characters belong to Chris Carter and 10-13 and Fox and probably a whole bunch of other people none of whom have I asked for permission. I'm certain he would never sanction this scene, which I wrote as a reaction against that thread (you know the one I mean) that somebody posted recently. It's kind of - different. I hope you like it. - Ursula She glanced up from her journal and looked at him over her glasses. He was watching her with that odd, speculative look that let her know there was something he wanted to ask her but didn't quite know how. And he had been watching her for some time now, she knew. She closed her journal and took off her glasses. "Fox." He didn't answer. "Fox." His eyes focused on hers suddenly and he smiled. "You're so beautiful ......" She felt the familiar ache begin to coil its way through the pit of her stomach, and lower, spreading tendrils of heat through her limbs. She had been mildly aroused all evening, watching him as he sat there with his long, bare feet poking out of old jeans propped up on the table, watching the way he chewed his lower lip and furrowed his brows when something he read puzzled or intrigued him, watching his long, lean, sensitive fingers turning page after page as they read in companionable silence. Her perpetual arousal was nothing new. She had been turned on by him before their marriage, and almost constantly since then. If desire was supposed to temper somewhat after marriage, she had no basis for that tempering. She wanted him more with each new day, and her desire fed on its fulfillment. So she smiled at him, a slow, sexy smile, and got up from her perch on the end of the sofa and walked over to him, holding out her hand to draw him up. He smiled up at her and stood, then lifted her easily in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. Once there, however, he resisted her attempts to pull him down on top of her, instead sitting to one side. She recognized again the hesitation he had shown earlier, and sat up. "What is it?" she asked softly, reaching out a finger to trace his lower lip. He shivered and she smiled. She loved touching him ... He took a deep breath. "It's ... nothing, really," he said, dropping his head. "It's something," she assured him. "Wanna talk about it?" He bit his lip and tried again. "I want ... I want to do ... something ... with you that ... you ... I dunno," he said haltingly. And there it was. She had expected something of this nature, knowing his predilection for pornographic movies, all of which he had destroyed before the wedding. She had wondered just how kinky he was, and how long it would be before she found out, and just what her reaction would be. Was he into B&D? Toys? Heaven help her, she hoped he didn't like S&M. She swallowed hard. She loved this man, she reminded herself. He would never do anything to hurt her ..... Still, when she spoke, her voice came out in a croak. "What?" Still he remained silent, his gaze fixed on the bedspread. Was whatever it was so bad that he was that afraid to tell her? Her mind flitted from image to image. "Fox?" "I just want ..." he took a deep breath and his next words came out in a rush. "I want to watch you ... pleasure yourself," he said, and his face began to burn. There. It was out. He waited. She would either laugh at him, or react with horror, or ... Her mind spun. He wanted to watch her ... he wanted her to perform for him? "Fox ... I don't know," she said slowly. Her voice gave him hope. Hope that she wasn't angry, or disgusted with him. He lifted his eyes to hers and relaxed slightly. There was a definite warmth in her gaze. . . . "I'm sorry ... if I've embarrassed you .." he whispered. "Well, it would be a little ... embarrassing, I think" she admitted. "But mainly it's just that ... I don't ... I don't really feel the need to do that any more," she confessed, her own cheeks colouring. She knew that many women after they were married still gave themselves more personal attention, but Fox ... Fox was warm and attentive, enough for any woman. And the pleasure of being with him was infinitely more wonderful than anything she could ever give herself. She glanced up at him. "Do you really want.......?" He nodded, and reached to stroke her face. "I want to watch your face," he said softly. "I want to know what you like ... what you would do for yourself." "Fox, I've told you what I like ... if you want I can..." She trailed off at the disappointed look on his face. This wasn't that bad, really. And suddenly her mind began presenting new possibilities. After all, wouldn't she find it an incredible turn on if he were to agree to....... "Okay, on one condition," she said softly. His eyes lit up. "What?" "_I_ get to watch _you_," she said firmly. His face flushed deep red. "I ... ah ........." Then he realized. She wasn't just saying this to get him to change his mind. She really wanted to watch him. He felt his groin begin to throb more urgently, the ache increasing. "You want me to..." She shook her head. "Nope," she said decidedly, "not this time. A solo, at some time in the future to be determined. And in return," she allowed her voice to take on a teasing, throaty tone, "I give you a show now." Oh boy ... He didn't know if he could last through this. "Uhhh ............" "Take it or leave it, _Fox_." Oh. She had called him "Fox" in that _Tone_ she used. No hope now....... "Uhhhhhhh........" Seeing that he was evidently beyond speech, she smiled and took his hand and kissed it. "Tell me what you want," she whispered. "Tell me....." "I want ... I want," he swallowed. "Show me. Show me what you did before we were married, when you were alone." And she understood. He didn't want to watch her pleasure herself _now_, he really wanted to see what it had been like for her _then_, when she had been alone and lonely. Perhaps this was a way of reassuring himself that he was good for her, that making love with him was good for her. It was: it was beautiful and perfect and everything she had ever hoped for or dreamed of, and she could tell him that, but he wanted to see for himself. He _needed_ to see. And because of this need, because she loved him, she needed to show him. "All right," she said softly, and nodded. He got up off the bed and looked around. He felt so odd ... this was something he had wanted for so long, but now he felt like a voyeur in his own home. He was somewhat startled when she slid off the bed as well, and walked past him into the hallway. He followed, puzzled. But when she turned into the guest bedroom it hit him like a lightning flash. Her bed was in that bedroom, the bed she had slept in for those lonely years. And he understood that she understood, and was giving him his fantasy..... He felt his heart swell and reached for her, drawing her into a tight, loving embrace. She wrapped her arms around him as well and hugged him back. "Dana ... if you don't want to do this," he murmured against the crown of her head. "No. It's okay," she reassured him, and drew back to gaze up into his face. "I want this. I want to give you what you want." "All I want is you," he said sincerely, and she nodded, knowing it was true. He hadn't asked this of her because he was dissatisfied, but because it would somehow fulfill some emotional need he had. He bent and kissed her gently and then she pushed him away. He went and stood awkwardly in the hallway, just outside the door. She looked after him for a minute, then bit her lip. Then smiled. This could be kind of fun. She thought of something and walked quickly back into the hallway. "Go out into the living room and give me about ten minutes, okay?" she asked him softly. His eyes narrowed but he nodded, his pulse racing. _What_ was she up to? Dana hurried back to their bedroom and stripped off her casual clothes. She turned to the closet and rummaged for a few minutes. Which......? Ahh, yes. The light green suit ... one of her older outfits that she had kept because it was comfortable and flattering and he loved it. She slipped into the suit, added a pair of demure earrings and sheer cream stockings, and went into the bathroom to fix her hair and makeup, pretending that she was readying herself for another long day of work with Fox Mulder and the X-Files. And as she prepared herself the years stripped away........... >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>^^^^^^^^^^<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< She hurried through the kitchen, dropping her laptop case on the table and checking the answering machine. No messages. She was tired and slightly cranky and ... frustrated. Very, very frustrated. Damn whoever had sentenced her to work with Mulder, anyway. She hadn't been with a man in a long time and here she was, side by side with this gorgeous, sexy, infuriating, fascinating man day by day and she couldn't do a thing about it. She thought of the way his eyes, eyes whose colour she had never been able to determine, twinkled and sparked at her when he teased her, and of the way she had caught him staring at her just that afternoon, with a warmth (and longing?) that made her shiver. She wanted him. She wanted him _bad_. Wanted to feel his hands on her body, his mouth on her mouth and her flesh, wanted to feel him deep inside where the ache was so strong she sometimes thought she would scream. She wondered whether the love she now realized she felt for him had come first, or the desire. Or perhaps they had happened simultaneouly. She only knew that they had been there as long as she could remember, teasing her. Tormenting her. She dreamed about him at night. Hot, sensual dreams that sometimes made her wake up sweating. Dreams of slow, erotic lovemaking and wild, frantic, sweaty sex. Dreams of taking him on top of his desk at the Bureau, of ripping his clothes off during one too many stakeouts, of being forced to share a room or maybe even a bed with him on an investigation and the close proximity just being too much. That was it. She couldn't take it any more. She tried to hold off but sometimes the tension was just too much, and she knew from experience that trying to stave off her needs would result not only in severe frustration but perhaps a migraine headache as well. She kicked off her heels and imagined what he would say if she told him what was really bothering her. "Scully? You okay? Still got that headache?" "Yeah, Mulder ... I've had it for three days now." "Isn't there anything you can do for it?" "Well, there's something YOU can do. Tear my clothes off with your teeth and throw me on my desk and just take me, Mulder, ravish me until I don't even know my own name. Make me scream for you, Fox, until everyone comes running to see what's the matter, and then make me scream some more. Make me forget every man who's ever lived ... I know you can do it ..........." He would die. _She_ would die ... it made her blush just to think about it, and it sent blood rushing to other areas of her body as well. She hurried back to the bedroom. She would give in. Just this once. Again. She would lie on her bed and touch herself and imagine him there, touching her, kissing her, making love to her........ She moaned and shucked off her jacket, her earrings, and unzipped her skirt, dropping it to the floor. She wondered if he had any idea she wore stockings instead of pantyhose most of the time now. An indulgence of sorts, a way to keep feeling feminine and desirable inside her severe suits and calm demeanor. Scully unbuttoned the top few buttons of her blouse quickly, then closed her eyes and slowed down, imagining Mulder's hands where her hands were, his fingers deftly running down the placket, pushing the buttons through silk, reaching inside to cup her breasts ........ The blouse joined the skirt on the floor and she was clad only in her panties and bra and stockings. She hesitated for just a moment, considering, and then climbed onto the bed ... this bed she had never shared with a man. She lay back on the pillows with her eyes closed, imagining. She reached up to stroke her breasts gently, cupping and softly squeezing the aching flesh, feeling her body becoming more aroused. He would touch her breasts gently, she knew - she had felt his hand at the small of her back, that careful, faint, guiding touch, enough to know that. He would kiss her and then kiss her breasts and his mouth would be soft and firm at the same time. She imagined his lips just barely brushing her flesh above the material of her bra, and shivered. Perhaps he would slide his tongue under the cloth, darting it over her hard nipple before reaching around to unsnap it carefully, his eyes glowing as he pulled it from her shoulders, telling her she was beautiful, that he wanted her, that he loved her..... She discovered she had slid an index finger under the fabric and was stroking her bare breast. There was something so intensely erotic about it that she decided to leave her bra on, at least for now. She slid her other hand down the flat plane of her belly, stroking around her sensitive navel, then back around to her buttocks, cupping the firm flesh. She wondered what Mulder's buttocks felt like ... firm and strong, she guessed. She loved the way his slacks fit him across the seat, and when he wore jeans! He looked fabulous in jeans ... from the front as well, she thought with a soft smile. How many times had she wanted to reach out and cup that bulge in his jeans, caressing him through the thick material, holding him and feeling him respond to her ... only to her? Enough of that. Her fingertips trailed back around to her front and just barely grazed her pelvis. She shivered in desire and arousal. She only wished he were here....... "Mulder," she whispered, squeezing her breast and stroking her lower body. She gasped and rocked her hips upwards. Then her hands slid to the waistband of her panties and slid them down and off and dropped them over the side of the bed. The one hand slid back up to her breast, then her face, and she cupped her cheek in her palm before running a fingertip along her lips, the lips she wished he would kiss, then over her throat, and back down to her breast. The other hand slid between her legs and stroked the sensitive skin on the insides of her thighs before returning to the most sensitive place on her body. She rubbed softly, then a little harder, her hips arching up as her other hand teased her nipple again. She moaned. "Oh, Fox ..." Within a few minutes she was breathing raggedly and her hand was rubbing harder, her body rocking against its movements. She paused and her hands flew to her back to unfasten the bra, and she flung it over the side of the bed before cupping both breasts in her hands and lifting them as an offering to his absent lips. "Oh, Mulder," she murmured, "I wish ... oh, please....... Kiss me. Kiss them....." Her fingers kneaded the flesh and she squirmed, her hips lifting up again. "I need ... I need........." she moaned, and then her hand slid back down to touch the burning area between her thighs. She parted her legs more, bending them at the knee, and arched upward to meet his strokes, imagining him there between her thighs. Her other hand alternated between squeezing and fondling her breasts and she stroked more firmly. "Oh, Fox," she groaned, "I'm so empty ... please, please fill me ... I need you ... Fox, oh, Fox....." Her body twisted, thrusting now, needing him there, and she imagined that maybe _this_ time he would drop by to see her and, when she didn't answer his knocks, let himself in, maybe hear her moaning and come back to investigate, and see her there like this, overcome with passion and need, her naked body squirming on the bed, needing him. "Fox, please ... this time, I need you this time......" She bit her lower lip, now to the point of not caring who found her this way, wishing beyond all that he _would_ come by, that he would see her and be so aroused by the sight that he would join her on the bed, touching her as she touched herself but with fingers that were not her own, his mouth dipping to her aching breasts, the hard length of his arousal burning into her thigh, and perhaps bring her to orgasm before taking her, or perhaps not. Her eyes would be closed, so she wouldn't expect it...... Yes, she could almost feel him there ... she closed her eyes and concentrated more. "Fox!" she cried. "Oh, please ... now ... take me now....." Her head thrashed on the pillow and she felt his hands on hers, increasing the pressure, and then his lips and tongue on her breasts, sucking and licking and nibbling, trailing soft kisses down her abdomen........ And then his hands gently moving hers away and his tongue on her, and her eyes flew open as she felt a heat and wetness that was not her own, and she looked down and saw him there, kneeling over her, his mouth working magic on her and his hands coming up to cup and knead her breasts, and it was too much ... a sensory overload, and she screamed his name and thrashed under him, crying as she came. And then he slid up over her to part her lips with his own, kissing her with deep, hot, drugging kisses, his body between her thighs and his hands sliding down behind her buttocks to lift her into him, and he thrust into her and she cried out, and he thrust into her again and again, and she bucked up against him harder, lifting her legs to wrap around his back, tilting herself up to abet the depth of his plunges, and the pace quickened and became harder and deeper and his mouth dropped down to suckle at her breast again and she arched and cried out and came so hard her whole body convulsed with the force of it, and then she heard him yell her name and his body shook with the force of his pleasure and she felt him spasm deep inside her, filling her, and she came yet again with a sweetness that was almost pain, and they collapsed, panting and sweating, and she wrapped her body around his and cradled him close, the tears running down her face, smelling the sweet sweat in his hair. The world seemed to spin and dim for a long time after that, and his body still moved slightly against hers, rhythmically and instinctively, until he stopped and lay utterly still, and she heard him sigh a deep sigh. She felt utterly exhausted and utterly sated, and just lay there, stroking his back, feeling his warmth and weight on her body. And then she came back to herself. They held one another for long, silent moments, and then he lifted his head and gazed down at her tenderly. His eyes were wet as well. "Sweet ... my love," he breathed. "I ... didn't know........" He hadn't known that she wanted him so badly, that she had dreamt of him for years before their wedding. And now he had made that fantasy come true. For the brief eternity she had pleasured herself and then he had pleasured her, she had forgotten who and where she was, and had been once again Dana Scully, alone and lonely and dreaming of him, pleading with him to come to her, and he had. She closed her eyes and he kissed the tears away. The End I didn't ask ahead of time but if it's okay I'd like to dedicate my first attempt to some of my favourite writers who have influenced me in different ways: Dan (I forget your last name, the guy who wrote the "Poems from Mulder" series), DeviXF, Eleanore, Juliettt and macspooky whose "universes" I guess I kind of appropriated since I had Fox and Dana married, Sheryl Martin, Ms brooklyn, Rosie Passanisi, Kelli Rocherolle, Windsinger, XFScully, and I'm running out of space and hope I didn't offend anyone by leaving them out or any of the people I did remember by embarrassing them. Trust me when I say that I'm embarrassed enough for all of us, and that I love almost all the stuff on this group.