From: "M. E. Cieplinski" 
Date: Mon, 30 Oct 2000 14:15:59 -0500
Subject: REVISED:  Wishing You Had Stayed
Source: revision

Title: REVISED:  Wishing You Had Stayed   1 of 1

Nothing major was changed - just a bit of clean up and
a more mature writing style, I hope.

Author:  mimic117

Email:  mimic117@yahoo.com

Rating: definitely NC17 for solo-love, if you get my drift.  Sorry, but my
mind fell in the gutter decades ago and I'll be damned if I can fish the
stinky thing back out.

Category:  SR

Spoilers:  none really for the series, but this is a continuation of my
previous story, "Wishing I Could Touch You".  This happens a week after the
events in that story, so you might want to read that one, but you don't have
to.  You just need to know that M&S are now lovers.  Please don't puke if
you don't care for such.

Keywords:  RST  Mulder/Scully romance

Summary:  Scully has left, and Mulder is in despair.  How will he cope?

Disclaimer:  Okay, everyone knows they don't belong to me.  We all know they
belong to David & Gillian & Chris & everybody else in the whole world,
except me.  I'm not going to make a cent from my scribbling, but hey! I
don't get paid for cooking, or doing laundry, or anything else I do, so why
should this be any different?  Can I help it if CC's characters are more
interesting than the ones I make up myself?  Can I help it if I have a
healthy libido at my advanced age?  If you sue me, you'll just have to send
my son through college, and his lab fees are enormous!  So let's all play
nice together, and maybe I won't have to tell your mom that you were being
mean to me.  Whadda ya say?

Author's Notes and general blathering at the end


Wishing You Had Stayed
by mimic117




Friday
8:35 PM

Scully was gone.

She'd left him.

Fox Mulder leaned his head against his apartment door, feeling all the
energy drain from him in one long, despairing sigh.  He didn't even notice
the number 42 leaving a dent in his forehead.

She'd said she wouldn't go.  He'd been so sure she would stay, especially
after last weekend.  She'd said she loved him, needed him, as much as he
needed her.  And now she'd just up and left, without even seeming to care
how much she was hurting him.

Well, maybe that wasn't true.  She did care about him, but that hadn't
stopped her from leaving.

Mulder glanced down at his hand, and realized that his key was in the
doorknob, but he hadn't turned it.  With another joyless sigh, he unlocked
the door, took two steps inside, and pushed it shut with his back.  Mulder
closed his eyes and allowed his head to THUMP back against the door.




^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Same day
9:30 AM

"But Scully... just yesterday you said you weren't going."

Dana Scully knew that tone of voice well enough to recognize incipient panic
when she heard it.  She sighed for the sixth time in as many minutes and
continued pushing paperwork into the briefcase on her desk.

"I know, Mulder.  I'm sorry.  As I've told you three times already, that was
before I knew Dr. Clooney would be there.  I haven't seen her in ages, and
she is getting on in years.  I promise, I'll only be gone a couple of days.
I'll be here bright and early Monday morning."

Scully held her breath and hoped that the fourth repetition would penetrate
his panic and coalesce into acceptance of her absence.

"But Scullee..."



Scully let out her pent breath in another sigh, and briefly prayed that she
wouldn't pass out from hyper-ventilation.

"We were supposed to spend the weekend together."  Mulder's panic voice was
rapidly becoming a tearful voice.  "This was going to be our second weekend
together, and I was really looking forward to it.  You know we agreed to
keep our personal life separate during the work week, so when else will I
get to spend time with you?"

Scully knew if she looked at her partner, his luscious lower lip would be
sticking out, and she'd cave in, so she never glanced up from gathering her
belongings.  In spite of her outward calm, Scully had been looking forward
to their time together, as well.  Except for the one time late Tuesday
evening when she had impulsively dragged Mulder into an empty storage
closet, (where they had swallowed the desperate sound of each others'
passionate cries during a brief, soul-shattering encounter) they had kept
their hands to themselves all week.  In spite of all the malicious comments
from colleagues about her icy interior, Dana Scully was a woman whose
passion matched the color of her hair.  She had found a matching level of
fire in the tall, gorgeous man who watched her back in the field and treated
her as an equal at all times.  Now it took all of her considerable resolve
to continue with her plans, knowing it would be another week before they
could dare to touch one another in anything but a professional manner.

"Next weekend we'll do something special to make up for it," she said with
deceptive lack of concern.

Mulder's eyes lit up like Christmas morning, a non-boy-like grin splitting
his face.

"Would this something special involve canned whipping cream?"  His eyebrows
waggled like belly-dancing caterpillars.

Scully stopped shoving papers into her briefcase, contemplating the man she
loved with a softening gaze and a quirk of her lips.

"Mulder," she teased, "it can involve whatever pressurized food products you
want, just as long as you let me out of here in time to pack and catch my
flight."

"Oooh, Scully.  You know what I like!"


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Same day
8:40 PM
Back at Mulder's apartment


Mulder slumped against his door, remembering how hard it had been to swallow
his disappointment and calmly bid Scully good-bye.  He hadn't dared to kiss
her, knowing that he wouldn't be able to stop at one kiss and things would
get out of hand.  He had tried to make her proud of him by behaving in an
adult, rational manner, but all he'd really wanted to do was wrap himself
around her legs like a tearful toddler and beg her not to leave.  It had all
happened so fast that she was out the door before he realized that it was
time for her to go.

The rest of the morning had sucked, and then gone downhill from there.

As he heard his keys drop to the floor from his nerveless fingers, Mulder
opened his eyes to see a micro-cassette recorder sitting on his coffee
table.  His first impulse was to pull his gun and shoot the damned thing
simply for existing.  It had no right to be in his apartment when Scully
wasn't.

Pushing himself away from the door, Mulder dragged his feet over to the
table until he could see a folded note laying next to the recorder.  He
recognized his name in Scully's unique script, and was infinitesimally
cheered.

"Before you take out your disappointment on the poor recorder" the note said
"you might want to hear what it has to say."



"I made this recording after last weekend, thinking it might help in the
future, when we needed to be apart for some reason.  I didn't think the
future was so close.  I hope you enjoy it.  Remember - I love you.  S"

Mulder's heart melted and trickled out his tear ducts.

"I love you.  S"

To think that she would actually write those words for him. Fox Mulder...
pariah of the FBI.  After so many years of wanting her with every fiber of
his body, mind, and soul, the thought that Scully felt even a small amount
of the same need for him nearly brought him to his knees.

Their relationship had moved on to the next logical stage one week earlier.
After all of their dancing around, avoiding the issue of their feelings for
one another over the last 6 years, all it had taken was a late night of
take-out and expense reports at her apartment.  A chance collision in the
kitchen doorway, and the clutching hands of support had become the grasping
hands of desire.  It had been a magical weekend of tearing down walls and
building bridges between two hearts.

And now to know that she had considered how her going would affect him, and
had taken the time to leave this for him even, as she rushed to get herself
to the airport...

Mulder wiped his eyes on his sleeve and picked up the palm-sized recorder.
Pressing the play button, he smiled to hear her familiar greeting.

"Mulder, it's me."



"Since you're listening to this recording, that means I'm not with you and
you're probably felling sorry for yourself."



"This may surprise you, Mulder, but I'm feeling sorry for myself as well."

Mulder's eyebrows shot up in amazement as he removed his trenchcoat and hung
it up.  It stunned him that Scully would admit to something that she would
consider a profession of weakness.  His chest tightened as he realized the
level of her trust in him that was revealed by this single admission.

"Wherever I am right now," the recording continued, "I'd much rather be with
you, Mulder.  You'll always be my one in five billion.  I don't want you to
ever doubt that...or forget it."

His eyes misted over and a lump started to form in the back of his throat.

"I'm certain that whatever I'm doing, there are other things I'd rather be
doing with you.  And *to* you.  So if you'll indulge me for a little while,
I'd like to tell you about them."

Mulder's heart rate shot up at the same time that a tidal wave of his blood
surged straight south, leaving him light-headed.



Mulder toed off his shoes, shoving them up against the couch as he unknotted
his tie and pulled it around his neck.

The tape continued, "We've just gotten to your apartment after a long,
boring day, and now we just want to spend some time together.  We're going
to pretend that I'm there with you, so what's the first thing we would do on
a Friday night?"

Mulder looked over at his apartment door as he removed his suit coat and
threw it on the couch with his tie, visualizing what he had been planning to
do the minute they walked in the door.

"Let's also pretend for a minute that we can get into your apartment without
you becoming Cro-Mulderman and taking me against the inside of the door."

A shout of laughter echoed around Mulder's living room as he threw back his
head in rueful acknowledgment of his partner's uncanny ability to read him
like a book.  A dirty book at that.

"That's right, " Scully's voice purred from the recorder.  " A
nice...warm...soothing...relaxing...shower."

Mulder couldn't stop the moan that issued from his throat as his eyes
slammed shut on the image that formed in his mind.

"Come on, Mulder.  Let's go take a shower."


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


Mulder set the silent recorder on the bathroom sink and marveled at the
change in the tiny room.  Not only had Scully left the tape for him to
enjoy, she'd also put out his softest towels and covered every available
surface with candles.  Switching the recorder back on, Mulder picked up the
nearby box of matches and began lighting the candles.

"Providing there isn't already a trail of clothing leading in from the
living room, it's time to get naked for me, Mulder.  And you know how much I
love to see you naked."

Mulder shivered at the obvious desire in Dana Scully's voice, and shut off
the light, watching the play of candlelight across his face in the mirror.

"If all the candles are lit now, go ahead and turn the water on to warm up
while I get those sweaty, confining clothes off of you."



Mulder reached in to turn on the shower and frantically started unbuttoning
his shirt, only to be halted by an admonishment from his apparently psychic
partner.

"Ah ah ah, Mulder, not so fast.  Good things shouldn't be rushed.
Anticipation, you know.  Pop - pop - pop - one button at a time.  Slowly
revealing your chest to my waiting gaze.  I want to see it all, but I need
to unwrap you slowly, like the special gift you are.  Now close your eyes
and feel my hands undressing you, so slowly."

As Mulder tilted his head back and closed his eyes, he could almost believe
his Scully was there, finishing the buttons on the front of his shirt,
undoing his cuffs, and dropping his opened shirt on the floor.  He could
smell her hair and feel the heat radiating off her body.  Sometimes it was
nice to have a vivid imagination and an eidetic memory.

"Before we remove those slacks that are starting to get a little too tight,
I really need to touch your chest first."  Scully's breath was coming out in
small sighs now, and Mulder unconsciously matched them with his own.  "Run
your hands lightly over your chest, down your stomach, and back up again."
Mulder did as instructed and moaned as his mind supplied the vision of
Scully's hands on his body.  "Have I told you how much I love your chest?
It's just muscular enough, with just the right amount of soft hair.  But
what I really love about it is your nipples.  I love to run my nails over
them and hear you moan."  Mulder scraped his fingers over the small brown
nubbins and obligingly moaned on cue.  "Oh yeah... just like that.  I wish I
could lick them right now.  They taste so rough, and salty, and... Mulder.
I'll bet I could make you come just by licking and biting and sucking your
nipples."

Mulder groaned low in his throat and started to pant.



"Now let's get those pants off before the water gets cold.  First I unbuckle
your belt.  Then the button on the waistband, and s-l-o-w-l-y pull down the
zipper.  I can't control myself any longer, Mulder.  I have to touch you...
now.  I run my fingers up and down the length of your cock through your
shorts, feeling how hard you are already.   For me."

Mulder shuddered as his fingers traced the length of his fully-developed
erection, no longer aware of the touch as his own.  Scully was here, with
him, loving him as only she could.

"I pull down your pants and boxers at the same time, and you step out of
them and pull off your socks.  But I don't touch you just yet, even though I
want to sooo badly.  I'll save that for later.  Right now you need to turn
the tape over and get into the shower, because I'm waiting there for you."


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


Turning up the volume on the recorder, Mulder stepped into the shower and
adjusted the water temperature.  The hot water felt wonderful beating on the
top of his head, running in trails down his body.  His ears perked up as the
recording resumed, waiting to hear what Scully had in store for him next.

"Since the main purpose of a shower is to get clean, let me wash your hair
first."

Mulder reached for the bottle of shampoo on the side of the tub, and
realized that it was the one Scully always used.  She'd left it for him, to
make the fantasy more real.  Popping the top, he closed his eyes and inhaled
deeply, and she was once again there, with him.

"I put some shampoo in my hand so I can massage your scalp, the way the
salon does.  It always feels so relaxing, I know you'll enjoy it.  Bend over
a little so I can reach, Big Guy."

Not even thinking about the incongruity of the situation, Mulder bent
slightly at the waist, eyes closed, and massaged his fingertips into his
hair, moaning as the tension in his scalp eased.



"Now let's rinse your hair, Mulder.  I want to watch the suds run down your
body, flowing over all the places I want to run my tongue.  I especially
want to see it rolling down your smooth, tight back, until it trickles down
between the cheeks of your gorgeous ass.  God, I love your ass, Mulder.  I
just can't stop running my hands over and over those beautiful, round mounds
of muscle."

Mulder moaned low in his throat as his own hands, independent of his
thoughts, smoothed over his backside in imitation of Scully's soft touch.



"I pick up the soap now so I can wash the rest of you.  But not with the
washcloth.  I'm going to use just my hands, so I can feel every square inch
of your beautiful body."

Mulder reached out blindly, grabbing the bar of avocado oil soap that she
liked best.  Scully seemed to enjoy the way it made his skin smell, so he'd
bought a brand new bar, just for this weekend.  He briefly wished she had
stayed to share it with him, and then he was lost in her voice again as the
tape continued.

"I rub the soap in my hands to work up a good lather so I can do your face
first.  Close your eyes tight, now.  I don't want to get soap in them."

Mulder squeezed his eyes shut, even though he hadn't opened them since he'd
first stepped in the shower.  In his mind, he not only could see Scully
smoothing her fingers across his skin, he could also see himself, eyes
closed, head tilted forward to equalize their height difference.  As though
he was watching it on one of those videos he was going to give away to
Frohike the first chance he had.  Lost in the spell of her voice, Mulder
continued to follow Scully's directions.

"I really like to touch your face.  Did you know that?  I used to make up
excuses to touch you, like when I'd put my hand on your forehead to check
for fever.  I've always wanted to lick that tiny cleft in your chin, only I
could never find a good medical excuse for doing it.  But now, I can lick
your chin if I want to.  Uumm, it tastes so good..."

Scully's little moan of delight wrung an answering moan from Mulder.  His
whole body twitched as he felt her tongue caress his chin and continue down
his throat.  He was panting, and she hadn't even touched the rest of his
body yet.

"While you rinse your face, I'm going to start washing the rest of you.
Most people wash from the top down, but I think I'll start at your feet and
work my way up."  Scully's voice turned husky with desire.  "But we'll leave
the good stuff for last."

As her words continued to caress his senses, Mulder leaned his back against
the wall, bending down to work the lather between his toes.  Rinsing his
foot off so he wouldn't slip, he did the other foot, rinsing and continuing
up his own legs.

"You have great legs, you know.  I'm sure it's because of all the running
you do.  Your calf muscles are so well defined, and your thighs... Well, I
don't know if I'll ever be able to stop touching your thighs.  Ooohh,
especially right in that crease where they turn into that lovely ass of
yours."

Scully's little moans of pleasure were enough to start shivers running up
and down Mulder's spine, while his imagination supplied her soft fingers
trailing up the backs of his thighs.  He really was enjoying this new side
to his partner, and he wanted it to last, but Mulder was becoming more
afraid by the minute that he would end up in serious pain if she didn't put
him out of his misery soon.

"I'd love to spend time on your chest, Mulder," Scully's rasped, "but I
really need to touch your cock now.  I can't wait any longer to wrap my
fingers around your beautiful prick, to feel your velvety soft skin all
covered in suds, sliding up and down inside my fist..."

Mulder couldn't tell if the heavy panting in his ears was coming from the
tape or his own throat.  But he could definitely tell that this whole
scenario was turning Scully on as much as it was him.  Lost in the haze of
desire created by her voice, Mulder rubbed more lather into his hands,
stroking his rock hard erection the way his lover would.

"Oh God, Mulder, this feels so good.  You're so long, and hard, and hot...
I'm going to kneel down right in front of you so I can watch you come.  My
hands are moving faster now, and I'm stroking your balls just a little, not
too hard, because I want this to last a bit longer."

A tight feeling began to coil at the base of Mulder's spine as one hand
pumped faster, while the other kneaded his sac, eyes still closed, head
thrown back against the tile wall.  His gasping breaths now matched the
sounds coming from the recorder, and Mulder could almost feel Scully's warm
breath puffing against his hyper-sensitive flesh.

"Mulder... God, I have to touch myself... I can't help it, I'm so hot, I
want you so much... I'm touching myself while I'm hand-fucking you,
Mulder... I've got my fingers between my legs and I'm gonna come... Oh shit,
I'm gonna come so hard... "

Mulder could see her in his mind, kneeling on the floor of the shower, wet
hair plastered to her face.  Water was dripping off the tips of her breasts
as one soapy hand pumped his rigid cock, while the other hand was buried
between her thighs, rubbing and thrusting as she groaned her desire into the
curls in his groin.



"Mulder... I love you... so much... I'm coming, Mulder... so hard, so
hard... loveyousomuch...oh God! MULDER!"

The sound of Scully crying his name in ecstasy was all Mulder needed to push
him right after her.  He roared his release as his body bucked away from the
wall, hands milking every last drop from his spasming shaft.  Colors
exploded behind his clenched eyes as Mulder sobbed his pleasure to the empty
room while his body shuddered on every breath.

"...loveyouScullyloveyousomuch...thankyou... God, I love you..."

Opening his eyes for the first time since he'd stepped into the shower,
Mulder blearily watched the evidence of his incredible orgasm slide down the
shower wall toward the drain.  Splashing water to help it along its way, he
heard Scully's sex-worn voice coming from the recorder.

"That was fun, Mulder.  But I think I'll take a nap now.  Why don't you dry
off and join me?  I'll meet you under the sheets, lover.  Don't be long."
*click*

Shutting off the cooling water, Mulder opened the shower door and grabbed a
towel with boneless hands.  His arms seemed to weigh a ton as he swiped the
worst of the water off his skin.  Taking a few extra minutes to blow out the
candles, Mulder rubbed his hair with the towel as he shuffled down the hall
to his bedroom.  He smiled to see the fresh sheets on the mattress, turned
down invitingly, with the soft comforter he seldom used spread on top.



Because Fox Mulder always paid his debts.  And this was one obligation he
was going to take great delight in repaying in exactly the right fashion.

Crawling under the clean linen with a contented sigh, Mulder laid back on
the pillow and looked at his reflection in the mirrored canopy.  His hair
was sticking up in several directions and his eyes had the hooded appearance
of a man thoroughly satisfied, ready for a refreshing sleep.



With a sad sigh, Mulder turned on his side and burrowed into the bed,
getting comfortable for the night.  A smile blossomed across his face as his
eyes took in the small pile of micro cassette tapes sitting on his night
stand, each one labeled for a different time covering the next two days.
There was even a pack of new batteries for the recorder.

As his eyes drooped shut, Mulder couldn't help thinking that maybe this
wouldn't be such a bad weekend after all.


THE END


Mulder:  "...I can't always read your mind, but you make it pretty  clear
when you're         planning on kicking a guy in the nuts."
Scully:  "Got to stop telegraphing my moves."
    from Basketball Therapy  by Kel


Author's Notes:  Okay, you guys, I told you this would happen if you didn't
send feedback, so don't blame me.  This series of stories (yes, there will
be more) is dedicated to Char Chaffin and Teresa Bishop, who write some of
the most fascinating, intriguing, delightfully smutty stories and casefiles
you could ever hope to read.  Ladies, your jester will never be worthy, but
that doesn't mean I won't give it a damn good try.

Oodles of kisses to all the people who've written since the first story in
this series was posted.  All this smutty stuff isn't my fault!  They
encouraged me!  Honest!

FEEDBACK:  God yes!  Want some!  Need some!  Gimmegimme!  (Did I mention I'd
like feedback?)   Any mistakes in this story are purely my own fault,
although there wouldn't be any if my buff beta-reader didn't have a problem
with reading smut written by his mother.  Must be a Freudian thing.  Let me
know how I done, and I promise to cyber-lick your shoes for all I'm worth.

mimic117@yahoo.com

    Source: geocities.com/solofbi