Love?
by Pearl

    Lori looked around and sighed. All these fancy people, talking politely with phony smiles on their faces. She hated to come to this kind of social meeting, but as always she had to be her father’s escort since her mother’s death a year ago. She just wished he’d get a bimbo to fuck his brains out so she could live her life. She laughed to herself. A party? This looked more like a funeral. The elevator music playing as this rich people showed off their money.
    She smiled politely, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at this ridiculous old man bragged about his last vacation in Europe. So he had met the queen of England, sailed the Mediterranean Sea, stayed in the most sophisticated hotels. Did all these people around her staring at him like he was some sort of celebrity really think that was what life was all about?  She would bet money that he hadn’t had a decent fuck since the last whore he paid to suck him.
    Her eyes widened as he turned to her. She was caught. She hadn’t been hearing a thing he’d been saying, but the smile on his face told it all. She almost gagged. He was flirting with her. Jesus Christ, this was way off limits.
    “So, lady, what do you think?” he asked trying to sound sexy, the smell of whisky escaping his lips and hitting her nose. She felt like puking. How dared he call her lady, it was like. It’s the new Millenium, not the 20’s.
    “I’m sorry Sir, I guess my mind wandered for awhile. I do think I need a drink.” She excused herself smiling seductively at the old man. He winked at her, giving her a look that she thought was supposed to be sexy, but ended up looking like some drunk queer looking at Matt Damon. Gosh, why her?
    She made her way to the bartender
    “Whisky on the rocks please.” She said sighing and looking around the dead party.
    A minute later the bartender handed her the glass with the drink and she smiled her thanks. She was about to take a sip from it when someone cleared his throat behind her. She rolled her eyes while she put the glass down, putting on a fake sweet smile. If it were that horny grandpa he’d regret thinking about her in any way but as a grandchild. Sicko.
    She turned around with her most innocent smile and bored look. Her lips quickly changed into a real smile as she saw who it was.
    “Daddy! Oh, please can we go yet?” she begged childishly.
    Her father laughed. “Not yet princess. Daddy need to talk to some important people still. In a couple of hours we go.” He smiled ordering a drink. Lori growled
    “A couple of hours? Fine, I guess I’ll live.” She said picking her glass up to finally take a sip, but being stopped by her father taking the glass from her lips. She looked longingly at the glass as it was taken away form her, moving her puppy dog eyes to her dad’s. He chuckled
    “Sorry Princess. You’re too much of light drinker to handle this. Order something smoother okay?” he said walking away. She pouted as she made her way outside. This was hell.
Outside, Lori stood leaning against a brick wall, the foggy night enveloping her. Slowly she took a drag of her cigarette, enjoying the relaxing sensation it brought her body.
    "Yanno that's not good for your health." a male voice said from behind her, his shadow mixing with hers on the floor. She didn't bother looking behind her as she snapped. She wasn't in the mood for this shit
    "I'm old enough to know what I do. I'm stressed out. Back off."
    "Well, I'm sure there are other ways to relax without destroying your lungs."
    She huffed as she took a last drag out of the cigarette, putting it out with her shoe.
    "Yeah, either this or sex. You willing to give it to me?" she hissed turning around to look at this stupid person bitching at her.
    Her face registered shock as her mouth hang open. Slowly her eyes traveled the worked out body, his tight leather pants, showing all she needed to know, his muscles showing through the tight brown sweater, and finally his penetrating green eyes, and his incredibly sexy spiked black hair.
    "Hi. I'm Kevin Richardson." he grinned  extending his hand
    “Nice to meet you.” She mumbled embarrassed of her behavior earlier, shaking his hand.
    “Does Miss I need a fuck have a name?” he joked getting a surprised look from the woman
    “Lori.” She laughed
    “What?” he asked taking a sit, looking up in the starry sky
    “You don’t seem to be like all those people inside.”
    He looked at her, and smirked “How are all those people inside?”
    She blushed a little under his gaze, smiling as she also looked up the sky “Fancy, phony, show offs. Old men with saggy balls.” She looked at him as he let out a hearty laugh “You don’t seem to have saggy balls though.” She smirked as he blushed at her comment, laughing nervously
    “Thanks... I think.”
    “So, what does the tall, dark and handsome figure does in a party like this?”
    “I’m here with my fiancé.” He replied moving his gaze to her face
    “Oh, I should’ve known. Are you in love?”
    “Very much so.” He smiled thinking of Kristin
    She sighed frowning, looking at the full moon, symbol of the lovers
    “I don’t believe in love.” She whispered as a few tears blurred her vision. Hell, what was wrong with her? She didn’t even know this guy. Shut up Lori, just shut up.
    “What do you mean you don’t believe in love?” he asked intrigued at how such a young beautiful woman sounded so hopeless.
    “I just... don’t. I think it’s a fake, temporary over used by the media feeling that is activated by sexual pheromones when people get too horny and need to feel good about themselves needing to have someone. Love is nothing more than use, sometimes abuse.”
    “How can you say that? Have you ever been in love?” Kevin asked now wanting to know what had made this girl, this woman rather, so... hopeless.
    “I just told you I don’t believe in love.”
    “How old are you?”
    “Twenty-three.”
    “And how can you say you don’t believe in love? Are you seriously telling me you have never felt butterflies in your stomach, never got tingles from a kiss, never got goosebumps from a look?” he asked trying to make sense of it. But how would he understand? He was in love, happily in love. How could he understand the anguish of having your feelings tramped so bad you can’t think about them without crying, how could he feel the emptiness of the cold nights where all you wish for are a warm pair of arms to hold you, how could he understand the heart of a heartbroken child, when his own was complete?
    “Never mind. You wouldn’t understand.” She replied reaching for the pack of cigarettes.
    “Try me.” He said
    “My opinion is that love’s only there for people who are lucky enough to have it and I'm obviously not one of them. So I don’t believe it’s all that. All the times I got even remotely close to this love thing I ended up having my heart broken.”
    “Just because it ends, it doesn’t mean it was never there.”
    “Ha , the lover has spoken!” she sighed taking a large puff of her ciggie, making him shake his head
    “If you don’t believe in love, what do you live for?”
    She raised her eyebrows looking at him.
    “You know that’s a good question. I wish I had the answer to it.”
    “Are you trying to tell me that in between 6 BILLION people you won’t find a soul mate, someone who completes you?”
    She looked at him again, damn what was up with all the hard questions?
    “I’m telling you that in between 6 Billion people I could find a thousand soul mates. But it would take years for me to find one. I’d give a lot sooner than that.”
    “Maybe that’s the problem. You are blowing this out of proportion. The love of your life could be in front of you and you wouldn’t see it, because you are so worried about hating love.”
    She listened to his words, flashes of her last boyfriends, their betrayals, their fights, everything that had hurt her coming back to her.
    “I don’t think love likes me very much.” She whispered taking another drag of her cigarette, while silent tears ran down her cheeks
    “Maybe you haven’t given it the chance to prove it does.”
    She laughed bitterly “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t know me.”
    He sighed running his hands over his pants “You’re right, I don’t. The question is, does anyone?”
    She took a deep breath, who did this guy think he was, and why was she venting out her thoughts like this? It was so confusing. She bit on her lip as her tears began to come faster and harder, her breath slightly raged.
    “Why are you here?” she asked looking away
    “I didn’t know at first. But now I think God sent me here tonight to give some hope to a sad child.”
    She laughed “God? You really are a believer huh?”
    “Everyone needs to believe something.” He whispered looking at her tear stained face while she avoided his eyes. “What do you believe in Lori?”
    She smirked some, still not making eye contact “Death and taxes?”
    “No. Really.” He said seriously making her look at him.
    “Alright. What do I believe? I believe life sucks. I believe your fucking God has fucked ways, I believe that the media has made up an emotion and people can only but be disappointed for not finding it. I believe that nothing’s worth believing anymore, because in the end, it’s all na illusion. What do you believe in Kevin Richardson?” she said sniffling and looking away
    He looked at her with a pained look, how could she be so young, so beautiful, but yet so unhappy.
    “I...I believe you’re wrong. I believe life can suck if you don’t work on it. I believe God has his own ways, that our mediocre minds can’t understand, I believe that love is not only a made up emotion, but something that can only be felt by those who are brave enough to risk knowing it. I believe that being in love is the most wonderful feeling ever, that once you’ve experienced the tingle in your heart, the warmness spread inside you with one thought, the smile brought to your face with one sound, the most significant talk, without a word being spoken, once you’ve let yourself out of your meaningless shell and really felt all these emotions without analyzing it, once you believe that’s real, you find happiness. I believe in happiness, and that few people are brave enough to accept it when it knocks on your door.  Not once or twice, but daily, every time you open your eyes in the morning. Everybody looks, but few see it. I believe that I am here today for some reason and that that reason is to show you that you are special and loved and nothing you do will change the feelings of those people who know you even when you’ve tried so hard to shy away from them. I believe you are scared of your feelings, because they might be too real, too strong for you to handle them. That’s... what I believe.”
    She looked at him blankly his words hitting her hard, she could feel the hump in her throat as she took a deep breath trying to calm here nerves. Kevin gently tucked her hair behind her ear, laying his arm around her shoulders as she thought about it, tears running down her face as a sniffle was heard every now and then. Who knows how many minutes passed by before anything was finally spoken again.
    “I need to go. Kristin must be waiting for me.” Kevin spoke softly as not to scare Lori. She nodded, still not looking at him.
    He gently removed his arm from around her, sighing inwardly, feeling he had failed whatever he was sent here tonight for. He started to walk back inside, when a little voice made him stop.
    “Kevin?”
    He turned at the small frightened voice
    “Yeah?”
    “I believe that not every angel has wings. Thank you.” She smiled at him. He could feel the hump in his throat as he nodded
    “Yeah. I’ll see you around.” He whispered and she nodded.
    “I guess.” She smiled looking up, to the full moon. The symbol of the believers.

The End


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