| THE DATING GAME:
In this study we will attempt to look at the biblical perspective on dating in comparison to the practice of COURTSHIP! For in reality the very concept of dating is a man made tradition vs. Gods ordinance of courtship. In an attempt to excuse and even make casual the respect and outlook of a male towards a female and vice versa in regards to their relationship and interaction with one another. It excuses the need to respect the body and sacredness of the other individual’s fidelity, in order to fulfill your supposed needs, which are really selfish and carnal desires? Lets try and take a look at the difference in purpose in regards to dating ? to the objective? In other words the motive why? Dating: On the one hand is more a means by which people try to enjoy each others company and even bodies, for the sole purpose of sharing company and passing time together and getting more familiar with one another, this most often includes the emotion of infatuation? many times dating gives free reign to the spirit of lust in individuals, whereas Courtship causes one to view with respect the other party and to consider the consequences of intimacy in regards to what is morally right and in relation to matrimony, with dating the needs or desires of each normally tend to be impatiently pursued but with the right frame of mind and biblical perspectives and principles applied properly the interaction of individuals in dating could and should be one of mutual respect and admiration as well as a sincere reflection towards matrimony. Courting: On the other hand offers a more serious minded approach to dating and marriage per se, In the practice of courting we find a much deeper emotional, spiritual commitment ( notice I did not say deeper physical commitment) with a personal devotion to a more biblical, holy and honorable relationship where the focus is on a possible and more probable marriage with the end result being an eternal bonding on all levels with emphasis on the spiritual aspect. Honor towards each other and towards God primarily being the main focus. We must begin to see the value of each person in our relationships, we must see them as more than objects to use, abuse and exploit for our benefit not just a package of meat but someone with a mind and a heart that can be hurt dating should be considered a time where we give of ourselves to the other to show them they are significant as a person, that they are valued, and that our time wit them is not just so that I may get my needs met but as a time of enjoyment, encouragement, edification and respect towards one another. Requirements for a total marriage: The most important and essential requirement to a complete marriage would be a basic understanding of the importance of having more than just a physical intimacy realizing that genuine intimacy of spirit, soul, body, and mind does not come about over night nor through premarital relationships. It is very important to understand that fidelity is essential to establishing a solid and trusting relationship that will weather the storms and trials of marriage yes you could say that the honeymoon is over when the bills start coming in. Friendship: There at least 3 evaluations you should make when considering if you are mature enough to begin dating: 1. When you are aware of the benefits and dangers of dating. When you are able to not only know the dangers but be able AND WILLING to accept the responsibilities that come with dating as well. When we are able to look at not only at the short term goals and aspects but also the long term probabilities and goals, when you are maturely able to discuss the consequences of things like unwanted pregnancies, divorce, adultery, immorality, financial disputes and differences, including issues like other friendships, religious beliefs, jealousies etc. 2. When you have personally worked out from scripture a set of God’s dating standards regarding such areas as intimacy, anger, spiritual compatibilities, etc. This involves knowing the do’s and don'ts and a willingness not to compromise those standards for anyone or anything, we need to look for someone in the way of a mate who also has established a set of scriptural standards and is willing and proud to stand by them. 3. When you purpose that you will not lower those standards even if it means losing dates? . We must and should be willing to forsake and lose all should someone ask us to compromise those standards or our obedience to God’s principles knowing that God would not send us someone, in a mate who would ask us to compromise his standards, If someone should ask us to lower or compromise those standards we can be sure that it’s not God’s will for that relationship! Realize that we must have more than just a physical attraction or bonding, to hold us together through the difficult times, for if we do not bond together in the proper biblical order that God has established we can create may areas in our relationships where situations are subject to arise that may contribute to our being led into other areas of relationship that we are not yet prepared for nor able to handle or control with any biblical wisdom or maturity, Which in turn may lead to adultery, divorce, promiscuity and unwanted pregnancies etc. The relationship must be god centered not you or flesh centered! We should seek God’s approval or acceptance regarding all our relationships not the acceptance of others this includes not looking to replace God’s love or void in our life, through other means or relationships. THE SPIRIT : In God’s divine program of relationships the first order of bonding should always be the spiritual not the physical! Surprised? Many have went the way of passion instead of prayer, we tend to let the physical attraction lead us first then think on the Godly aspect last, “ beauty is vain and favor deceitful.. but a virtuous woman who can find.” putting flesh first is wrong and if we tried putting Jesus first we would have far less problems such as abortion, divorce and adultery etc. Gods way of bonding and coming together is spirit, soul and body, spiritual intimacy is achieved when two Christians are able to share freely with each other what God is doing in their lives regarding spiritual growth and Christian faithfulness where there will be a resulting enjoyment in sharing the word, witness and work of God together rather than in the carnal things. We should look in our mates for a desire to please God and act Christ like! and as you continue to bond in the spirit you will begin to grow together and even desire the same things of God, have the same goals, study, seek, fear, and fast together, praise God together, and pray together When we allow ourselves to go contrary to the first step of commitment ( such as infidelity and unfaithfulness or jealousy ) we then break the very foundation of trust and faith in our relationship and are thus unable to trust and even share our faith after marriage with our partner, thus breeding the seeds for adultery, fornication, immorality, and other actions that destroy relationships. When there is a proper spiritual bonding and unity of the spirit the physical bond is not so easily broken by the adversary there is also a sense of fulfillment and contentment that comes with spiritual bonding .. which by the way cannot be obtained from the physical aspect of relationship. In Summary: While there are many ways in which couples may come together and bond or unite with one another where they become one in spirit, soul, mind and body the correct biblical bond is in the following order: by bond meaning the things that attract and hold us together. 1. SPIRITUALLY This is where they spend the majority of their time together doing spiritual things, and growing closer not only to each other but to God! They pray, read, study, praise and worship together, they fellowship with other people of like faith and witness together. 2. SOCIALLY This is where they rather than date just to pass time they court each other with the hope and interest that their relationship might result in matrimony, not an unwanted pregnancy, here they may go out with others to see if they are compatible, and they avoid situations where they would be left alone, they look for the character in the other partner and build upon it, rather than steal from it, here they do not take a casual approach to their friendship or relationship but rather a serious reflection and studious look into what may be a future together. 3. PHYSICALLY: Here is where they become intimate and physical with each other of course after marriage, this is the time that this form of bonding should take place, sure some of you say bummer dude that’s not kool, but think of it this way, why would you want some guy or girl putting his or her hands all over your future mate? Yeah you have no business kissing someone who is not your wife or husband? how much more touching them? Now that was the correct approach to dating how ever we in this world tend to get it backwards so many times and as a consequence we have relationships that are torn with strife, jealousy, divorce, selfishness etc. In the world we tend to start with the physical perspective first ( like wow she or he looks good forget that they are not very Christian or Christ like) first rather than last, we may see someone whom we find attractive then we do the social thing just to go through the motions and get to know them more while the primary objective is usually to get them into bed with us? or at least to get our hands on them and kiss and fondle, etc another no no Then after we have fallen in sin we tend to go for a compromised spiritual union and then wonder why we can’t stop faltering in sin time and time again, this is a consequence of the improper order of bonding, the remedy is letting the Holy Ghost have control once for all. Prepared by: Rev. George R. Nava 217o E. Market St. Stk, Ca 465-9731 my web page for you: http://gospelstuffs.homestead.com/index.html |