Season 5
Willow: "Ignis incende."
Buffy: "Willow, check you out. Witch-fu."
Willow: "It's no big. You just have to balance the elements, so when you affect one, you don't wind up causing... (rain starts) I didn't do it, I didn't do it!"Willow: "It's just, you've been Mr. Project all summer. Labelling the amulets and indexing your diaries. I draw the line at making giant rubber-band balls. That's when you'll just have to get a life."
Giles: "That's what I'm trying to do, actually, is get a life."
Willow: "It might go better if you left the house."Xander: "It's nothing. Just a scratch."
Willow: "Two deep, puncture-y scratches."Willow: "Look at us - we're arguing! We're having a debate about a college lecture. I have dreamt of this day since... forever."
Willow: "Should I be watching my occipital lobe?"
Buffy: "Your what?"
Willow: "Occipital, the lobe in the back of your brain? You know, like, should I be watching my back? But, you know, the back of your brain."
Buffy: "Apparently not."Willow: "Congratulations. You're an official capitalist running dog."
Willow: "Tell me a story."
Tara: "Okay. Once upon a time, there was a kitty. She was very little and she was all alone and nobody wanted her."
Willow: "This is a very upsetting story."
Tara: "Oh, oh, but it gets better. 'Cause one day the kitty was running around the street and a man came and swooped her up and took her to the pound. And at the pound there were lots of other kitties, and there were puppies, and some ferrets."
Willow: "Were there dolphins?"
Tara: "Yes, many dolphins at the pound."
Willow: "Was there a camel?"
Tara: "There was the front of a camel. A half-camel."
Willow: "Did the kitty get chosen by some nice people?"
Tara: "Well, now you've ruined the ending."Tara: "Even when I'm at my worst, you always make me feel special. How do you do that?"
Willow: "Magic."Giles: "The demon woman was here, the one who attacked you."
Willow: "It's no biggie. She just got an amulet and a blood stone."
Anya: "That can create a monster."
Willow: "Okay, biggie."Giles: "Oh my god, what a rough night."
Willow: "Ha haa! I just did two of 'em! Yay on me. That was pretty cool. Except the part where I was all terrified, and now my knees are all dizzy."Willow: "Oh, piffle, who needs him when I'm dusting two at a ti-- (her knees buckle and the boys catch her) Whoops. Maybe it would have been good if he had showed up."
Willow: "Oh, I feel just like Santa Claus, except thinner and younger, and female, and, well, Jewish."
Willow: "There's Canis Minor, and Cassiopeia."
Tara: "And the Big Pineapple."
Willow: "Um, you know, I'm not sure I remember that one..."Willow: "What time is it?"
Xander: "There's a clock behind you, Will."
Willow: "I know, but there a watch right above your hand." //looks at watch// "That can't be right." (looks at clock) "Oh."Willow: "We can come by between classes. Usually I use that time to copy over my class notes with a system of different colored pens, but it's been pointed out to me that that's, you know, insane."
Tara: "Hellebore. One of my favorites."
Willow: "It's powerful stuff. I tried to use it to de-rat Amy and it didn't work, but I think it might have made her really smart. She keeps giving me these looks like she's planning something, rubbing her paws together."Willow: "It's so cute. He balances a bunch of stuff, including that fish in the bowl. And-- but don't try it for real when you're six, because then you're not allowed to have fish for five years."
Willow: "I'm not stealing. I'm just taking things without paying for them. In what twisted dictionary is that stealing?"
Anya: "Willow's stealing. She's a burglar."
Willow: "Right. the cunning, broad daylight in front of everyone burglar."Willow: "Hey, Anya, whatever really has you mad, why don't you just say it, like you do every other thought that stomps through your brain."
Willow: "I released him? No, this was definitely a 'we' thing. Or, or a 'you' thing. It definitely feels like a 'you' thing."
Willow: "I wish Buffy was here."
Buffy: "I'm here."
Willow: "I wish I had a million dollars." (pause) "Just checking."Buffy: "You dated a troll?" [to Anya]
Willow: "And we're, what, surprised by this?"Willow: "I'm taking everything on relocation spells, suspension spells, and, what the heck, spells to make him really sleepy, because, slightly better."
Willow: "You spent, what, a thousand years hurting men? You got your thousand-years-of-hurting-men gold watch."
Anya: "Is this the spell?"
Willow: "Only if you want him to double in size, and grow extra arms, which... let's not."Anya: "I know what broke up him and Cordelia, you know. It was you and your lips."
Willow: "No, it was not! Well, yes, it was so."Willow: "'E conspectu abeat monstrum.'" (cash register disappears) "Damn."
Willow: "Distract him from Buffy. Piss him off."
Anya: "I don't know how."
Willow: "Anya, I have faith in you. There is no one you cannot piss off."Willow: "We're in love. We're lovers. We're lesbian, gay-type lovers."
Willow: "This is exactly what you need. A 20th birthday party with... with presents and funny hats and those candles that don't blow out. Those used to scare me."
Willow: "We're doing an early-warning incantation. If anything hellgod-ishly powerful comes within a hundred feet of the shop, then screechy siren things will, you know, screech."
Dawn: "Can I help?"
Willow: "Well, I don't think Buffy would like the black arts bumping auras with the littlest Summers."Tara: "We thought you'd get lots of crossbows and other killy stuff."
Willow: "Yeah, so we figured, less killy, more frilly."Buffy: "Maybe it's time to start a new tradition... birthdays without boyfriends. It could be just as much fun."
Willow: "Preaching to the choir here, baby."Buffy: "What did you do to her?"
Willow: "Teleportation spell. Still working out the kinks."BBuffy: "Where'd you send her?"
Willow: "Don't know. That's one of the kinks."Willow: "If you want, Buffy, I can go with. Back you up with some scowlin'."
Willow: "It's an unusual name. There's hardly any, except Warren Beatty, and, you know, President Harding. It's probably not either of them."
Willow: "I'm not sure this is a code red. Hey, is there a code pink? We need more codes."
Willow: "Santa always passes me by. Something puts him off... could be the big honk menorah."
Willow: "No, that's rude, that's, that's disrespectful. "La la la! I don't care!""
Willow: "Did it [puching through the wall] make you feel better?"
Xander: "For a second there."
Willow: "A whole second."Xander: "Who did the drywall in this place?"
Willow: "I always forget to ask."Willow: "You had two eggs, sunny-side-up. I remember because they were wiggling at me like little boobs."
Willow: "It's got last week's notes too. Just get it back to me by Thursday... and don't write on it, or...or put a coffee mug down on it or anything... and don't spill. O.K. Oh, oh! And don't fold the page corners down. Bye!"
Willow: "So we made a triangle with our bodies. And that's when I called Xander obtuse, and he got really grumpy. And then Dawn said we were a-cute triangle and, well, hilarity ensued."
Willow: "Don't be grumpy with her! Who among us can resist the allure of really funny math puns?"
Buffy: "It's really important that Dawn finishes her schoolwork right now."
Willow: "Yeah, I know, but we were having good, clean, educational fun, and then all of a sudden it was all gloom and doom and the outlawing of human triangles."
Buffy: "It's really important that Dawn finishes her schoolwork right now."
Willow: "I know it is. And I'm a big fan of school! You know me, I'm, like, 'Go school! It's your birthday!'... or something to that effect."Tara: "Is that 'no' spelled 'y-e-s'?"
Willow: "S-o-r-t of."Willow: "Well I took Psych 101. I mean, I took it from an evil government scientist who was skewered by her Frankenstein-like creation before the final, but I know what a Freudian slip is."
Willow: "I'm really sorry I didn't establish my lesbo street cred before I got into this relationship!"
Glory: "What's this? Bag of tricks?"
Willow: "Bag of knives."Dawn: "Any luck?"
Willow: "If you define 'luck' as 'the absence of success', plenty."Buffy: "Will, how long will it hold?"
Willow: "Half a day, maybe?" (sees clerics praying outside) "Or until Heckle and Jeckle punch a hole through it."Willow: "Come on, Tara! You have to eat something."
Anya: "Want me to try?"
Willow: "I don't know. I'm getting used to picking fruit out of my hair."Young Buffy: "Do you like dolls?"
Willow: "No ... and I think we already deja'd this vu."Xander: "Smart chicks are soooo hot."
Willow: "You couldn't have figured that out in tenth grade?"Buffy: "Will, what do you got for me?"
Willow: "Some ideas. Well, notions. Or, theories based on wild speculation. Did I mention I'm not good under pressure?"
Buffy: "I need you, Will. You're my big gun."
Willow: "I'm your - no, I-I was never a gun. Someone else should be the gun. I, I could be a, a cudgel. Or, or a pointy stick."Willow: "Well, I've been charting their essences. Mapping out. I think ... if I can get close enough, I may be able to reverse what Glory did. Like, take back what she took from Tara. It might weaken Glory, or ... make her less coherent. Or it might make all our heads explode."
GILES: "Need anything?"
Willow: "Could use a little courage."
[Spike holds a flask in front of Willow's face]
Willow: "The real kind. But thanks."
Quotes up till the end of "Spiral".