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| Episode 7: Where's the Merge? |
| Episode Seven: Where’s the merge?
=== UM, EXCUSE ME SIR... I ORDERED A MERGE WITH THIS. === As Robin and Kira returned to camp, they once again had to face the tough fact that their tribe was simply poo on a stick. Thankfully, they had the merge to look forward to. Right? I mean, a merge would happen when only two players were left on a tribe... right??? RIGHT??? === THE EVIL NET SPIDER MONKEY STRIKES BACK... FOR THE LAST TIME (OR IS IT?) (YES IT IS) === “This is the last straw,” the Evil Supervillain Net Spider monkey growled. “I must destroy these survivors. I don’t know why, but I must cause these survivors extreme pain!” With that in mind, the Evil Supervillain came up with an idea. A grimace came across his monkey face. He pulled out the phone book, and called up his Evil Supervillain Net Spider Monkey Twin Brother. The next day, the survivors gathered at challenge circle. “Hello, my little pretties,” Travis said, “I bet you’re all looking forward to the merge, right? Well, I am too, but it’s not going to happen this episode.” Robin and Kira’s jaws dropped. “Now, today, we’re doing something a little different. The immunity challenge and the reward challenge are going to be combined into one challenge -- Pass the Evil Supervillain Net Spider Monkey and his Evil Supervillain Spider Monkey twin brother. Now pass the monkey is a SOTN staple, but this one’s a bit different. There are two monkeys in this game -- one of the monkeys will cause your tribe to lose the challenge, the other monkey will award whoever is holding it with an obscene 100 individual jet points. All right, after I start the music, I’m going to throw the monkeys to two random players. Here we go.” “Not so fast,” announced the Australis tribe in a non-direct quote, “We’re going to use the Samadhi on Robin.” With only Kira available to play the challenge, would Boralis ever be able to overcome such impossible odds? (Probably not. Or would they? Probably not.) Robin walked off to the isolation bench as Travis revved up the ol’ turntable and plopped on his favorite album: Aqua’s “Barbie Girl.” The monkeys were then passed to Luke and Andrew. They both tossed their monkeys to Kira -- and while conducting an improbable two-monkey juggling act, she tossed one to Jacob and one to Kyle. Unfortunately for Jacob and Kyle, the lyrics had gotten to “life in plastic, it’s fantastic,” and upon comprehending the utter ridiculousness of the song, they both fainted on the spot. Incredibly, Borealis had won its first immunity challenge -- with only one player participating! “Congratulations, Borealis!” Travis said in amazement, “Australis loses the challenge, since they’re holding on to both monkeys. The only question now is whether Jacob or Kyle wins the 100 JP.” With that, the monkey that Jacob was holding pulled out a revolver and aimed it squarely at Travis’s head. “Aha, Travis, little did ye suspect that I was the real evil monkey the whole time!” the evil supervillain monkey said, pulling the trigger. With that, Travis got shot in the head, keeled over, and died. The other monkey then awarded Kyle with 100 JP. === AUSTRALIS’S FIRST REAL TRIBAL COUNCIL === Not knowing quite what went wrong, Australis took the walk up to the tribal council area. When they got to the fire pit, Travis, after having made yet another miraculous recovery, was standing there, waiting for them. “Well well well, my pretties, you were here last episode and all of you were immune, but this time, one of you is going to go. Who that will be, as always, is up to you. Let’s vote.” All of the survivors except for Nichole voted, and Travis returned with the vote bucket thingy. “First vote . . . . . . . . . . . JACOB. . . . . . . . . . . . . Second vote . . . . . . . . . . . . . . KYLE. . . . . . . . . . . . . Third vote . . . . . . . . . . . . KYLE . . . . . . . . . . . . Fourth vote . . . . . . . . . . . . . KYLE KYLE, I am sorry to announce that your time with us has expired. The tribe has spoken.” === FINAL TC RESULTS X KYLE: 3 votes JACOB: 1 vote Self votes: NICHOLE: 1 vote === === KYLE’S STATS: FINAL WORDS: Well this has definitely been a great game. Thanks to Travis for being such a dedicated host. This is probably one of the most organized games I have ever been in! I did not make it very far, but still got a taste of mostly everyone so I can't wait to come back for the finale! JET POINTS: 517 === (((END EPISODE 7))) WRITTEN BY: TRAVIS (HOST) SPECIAL THANKS: PLAYERS WHO SENT CHALLENGE TRANSCRIPTS FOR JPs & ZEB THIS EPISODE IS DEDICATED TO: THE DRAKE TRIBE |
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| The tribe has spoken. |
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| Robin's been taken out... can Borealis win? |