He warned me, but I didn’t listen. The prince of all Saiyans does not need to be warned, does not need to heed the signs. He was Goku, then, and he told me that he would change. Once he crossed the line, he said, he wasn’t sure if he could go back, at least not around me. Even so I pressed and pushed and wheedled.

Now I have exactly what I asked for.

I have Kakarot.

Every day, every night. Whether I want to or not is irrelevant now. He broke me hard. He still breaks me once a month or so, to make sure I stay in line, and am not entertaining thoughts of telling Trunks or Gohan, or anyone for that matter, about my plight.

Kakarot. How could I have known he would be worse to me than Frieza?  At least Frieza never was a good, sweet man. He never saved my life, or fought by my side. When I look at Kakarot, I am painfully reminded of Son Goku. He, Son Goku, gave me his heart, time and time again. He loved me, I know, but I spurned that love for what I thought was the true man behind his eyes. I wanted another Saiyan to talk to. I didn’t know, then, how true Goku’s warnings would turn out to be. The man knew Kakarot wouldn’t be nice or loving, but even Goku didn’t know how dark Kakarot would become. Goku did fight me, he didn’t want the change, but in the end, his sentimental side gave in. He loved me enough to free the dark side of his soul.

I cry when Kakarot is gone. For myself, for the love Son Goku gave so readily, and I gave up so easily. I wonder, when he finally kills me…what will my children know? Will Kakarot tell them I relapsed into my former evil self and he took me down for the good of the planet?

Gods, my children, so many lies I’ve had to tell them. In the beginning, Kakarot wouldn’t leave the room to insure I wouldn’t reveal his abuse. Now, he won’t even let me see them. Not that I would, not anymore. I’m too ashamed of what I let happen. I could have let Son Goku love me, but my damnable pride…No use in beating myself up. Kakarot does that for me. Even my humor is empty inside.

The dragon balls are locked in Kakarot’s bureau. I know because he showed me. He showed me, then he beat me, broke me, raped me. Told me I was his, and that if I ever thought about using them…

I almost feel I shouldn’t care. Death is no longer much of a deterrent to me.  Pain, rape, been there, done that. I have complete apathy toward my own life. It is only the threat of Trunks becoming Kakarot’s new toy that keeps me in line.

He’s coming again, so I should stop typing. I shouldn’t have typed this at all, but I needed to. Up the stairs, I can feel him rather than hear. I should really stop ty…

Trunks stopped reading. His father hadn’t managed to hide the outdated laptop; either that or the man he knew as Goku didn’t care who read it. After all, even if they knew who could stop him? Kakarot or Goku, he was the strongest being in the universe.

"Ready to take your father's place, boy?" Kakarot gripped his shoulder.

~end~

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