Each of these poems hold a piece of my heart

You said you were scared and I shrugged
pretending that my heart was not racing
All morning I had alternated
between fear and anticipation
I had buried so much to buy my emotional distance
and to give you your chance at happiness
I did not want the pain back again
So we made small talk
Yet I have no idea what we talked about
This was a mistake, my hand is shaking
because it longs to stroke your face
Memories and questions are flooding my brain
How was it possible
that you found what we had with someone else?
I thought we had invented passion
Could it be that it was just ordinary
and could be duplicated with anyone?
It seems impossible to believe
Finally it's over
and I can almost breathe again
And then you touch me
and I am undone

You can't always recognize the wounded
Sure, there are those that spill their pain
Always the victim, looking for sympathy
Narcissistically assuming they had no part
In the failure of the relationship.
The other wounded are harder to recognize
They shed their tears privately
And hide their pain behind a wall of ambiguity
Hearts that love the loudest
Do not always love the most.

I tell my secrets to the moon
Safe to speak in the darkness
I talk of fear, loneliness and longing

So many shadows and failures
I thought I had imprisoned hearts
But it was my own heart that was caged

I wish for a believing heart
A heart that is free to discover
Unlimited love and ultimate passion

The moon knows my hearts desire
Pushed away, out of reach
I watch silently as the stars fade away

Someday the night will shine for me
Brilliant constellations untouched by time
Until then, I whisper in the shadows of the moon

Touch me
Can you hear my skin screaming for you?
Stroke me
Velvet skin is waiting for your touch
Kiss me
Don't stop
My fire wants to engulf you
Take me
Hot skin dancing to exhaustion
Hold me
Tomorrow will take care of itself

Please let me go
I don't belong here
I love you fondly
I need to love madly

You've kept me safe
Loved me unconditionally
It would be so easy to stay
But I need to keep searching

I may never find another man
Who loves me as you do
Contentment is enough for some
I need to crave my lover

My resolve always weakens
This time let me fly
Your road is not my road
Tomorrow does not belong to us.

I'll spend no more sleepless nights
worrying about your happiness
I'll cry no more tears
wondering how it all went wrong
I loved you with all my heart
I believed in you until all faith was lost
I changed paths to open doors for you
Only to close them again, silently and alone
I sleep peacefully now
As you miserably toss and turn
in your bed of regret

There are no promises of tomorrow
We never even finished yesterday
We were a snapshot in time
Unfocused, undefined, unfinished
Potentially everything, eventually nothing

This time no walls could exist
Only truth, trust, and a belief
that we could create an Eden
Where love could flourish
Unfettered by hurt, untouched by the past

I want you to know me
Imperfect, emotionally messy,
a mask of self-confidence
pretending never to be afraid
Handblown glass behind a curtain of steel

There are no stars beyond our reach
Only paradise, an oasis
where dreams are fulfilled
The journey could be magical
Just open your arms, hold me close and believe

I am bemused by affection
That transfers at will
Outpourings of emotion
Narcissistic in content
Dealing with inner need
Rather than veracity
The faces can change
It does not matter
Transient love only demands
An audience of one

Come softly into my heart
Quiet steps so I do not startle
Gentle words to soothe my fears
I am ready to accept love again
Instead of throwing it away
My arms are so lonely
I want to wake in the middle of the night
And know you are there
Without opening my eyes
I have so much love to share
I just need to find
The other half of my heart

White hot nights
I burst into flame
whenever we touch
I crave you
every minute
of every day
Your skin
is imprinted
on my fingertips
Eyes locked,
we create fire
no one can extinguish
You are my man
My forever love

A meteor flashes
Across an empty world
Sparks flying
Burning hot
We have no sun
The moon pales by comparison
All that exists
Is within the circle of your arms

I am so tired from dancing
I just want to lay my head in your lap
while you caress my hair
and whisper gentle words of love to me
I want so much to believe in love again
That happiness is not a myth
That love holds no lies
and distance can vanish
when your heart touches mine

Craving passion
Forever searching
Hold me, I say
I have something you need
All the while knowing
I have nothing to give you
I am there to fill myself up
Love me, adore me
Make me feel beautiful
I need your kisses to survive
Your caresses to keep me alive
I am so empty without love
It is not enough to just want me
I need you as my hearts victim
Enslaved, enthralled
Enraptured, captured
Only then can I breathe easily
Knowing you only want me
Only me-love only me

The velvet ribbons I worked so hard to acquire
have now become iron ties.
They started out so silky, soft to the touch
I welcomed them, even sought them out
But now they chafe, leaving raw wounds
which never quite seem to heal.
There is no easy escape
Each path would leave a trail of tears
haunting me more in my flight
Than they do in my passivity.
Are the only choices happiness or unhappiness?
Who's happiness am I even dealing with anymore?
I gave away so many pieces of my heart
I realize now I forgot to save some for myself.

I want it again
I want the breathlessness of new love
I want the excitement of discovery
The exploring of lives
The wonder of shared thoughts
The lust when I think of you
When that is all I do is think of you
Your voice making me weak
Your touch making me your woman
I want it again
I thought you were gone
I said goodbye, I closed the door
Then why are your fingerprints
still on my heart?
I thought the scars had healed
But one word, one passing phrase
And I bleed again
They say time heals all wounds
I want my heart back again
I have ached a lifetime already
I dread the twilights flickering light
nightime brings its own pleasures
mysterious, enticing
but dusk is limbo
straddling the two knowns
and you don't know whether
to mourn the days passing
or to embrace the darkness


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