(Dorothy walks into the kitchen. Sophia, Blanche & Rose are at the table. Blanche and Rose are eating breakfast. Sophia is reading)

DOROTHY

Hello.

SOPHIA, BLANCHE & ROSE

Hi.

DOROTHY

I am in such a good mood this morning.

SOPHIA

So am I. I had my first bowel movement in 10 days.

DOROTHY

Oh I bet you feel good.

SOPHIA

Actually, I feel all empty inside.

DOROTHY

(smiles) That's nice. I'm hungry. Do you want me to fix you anything ma?

SOPHIA

No thanks. It took 10 days to get the last good meal I had out. I could be dead before I have my next bowel movement.

BLANCHE

What a lovely conversation we're having this morning.

ROSE

You know I just thought of something.

SOPHIA

Now there's something that you don't hear often.

ROSE

If you go several days without you know...going, and you die, do they take it out or just leave it in there?

DOROTHY

They take it out and have it bronzed.

BLANCHE

Would anyone be too upset if we changed the subject?

(They all agree to change the subject)

ROSE

What do they do with it after it's bronzed?

BLANCHE

(pushes her plate away) I think I'll skip breakfast.

DOROTHY

I think I'll skip breakfast and lunch.

SOPHIA

(gets up and walks to the door) I think I'll go try for another bowel movement. Later.

(NEXT SCENE)

(Dorothy is doing a crossword puzzle. Sophia walks in and sits next to her)

SOPHIA

Pussycat, can I borrow a hundred dollars?

DOROTHY

Why?

SOPHIA

Me and a couple of the girls at Shady Pines wanna take Tango lesons.

DOROTHY

Don't you think you're a little old to be taking Tango lessons?

SOPHIA

Hey, if I can do the macarena and live to tell about it, I surely can walk around with a rose in my mouth.

DOROTHY

I don't think so ma.

SOPHIA

Anita Sidel's daughter is letting her take Tango lessons.

DOROTHY

Ma, Anita Sidel's daughter is dead.

SOPHIA

Well do you see her trying to stop her?

(Doorbell rings. Dorothy goes and opens the door. A man is standing there in a suit)

SHAWN

Hello, I'm Shawn Thomas. Is Mr. Lucas Hollingsworth home?

DOROTHY

No he's not. I'm his wife, Dorothy. Can I help you?

SHAWN

I just brought over some papers for him to sign. (hands Dorothy an envelope with the papers in them) Please give them to him and have him return them to me by Friday.

DOROTHY

Okay.

SHAWN

Thank you. Good day!

(Dorothy shuts the door)

SOPHIA

Okay, quick open it up. I'll stand guard.

DOROTHY

MA!

SOPHIA

Okay, you stand guard and I'll open it.

DOROTHY

This belongs to Lucas. I'm sure if it's anything that concerns me, he'll show me.

SOPHIA

Pussycat, you and him are married. Technicly, that give you the right to look at anything of his.

DOROTHY

No ma.

(Dorothy puts the envelope on the table and walks away. Sophia walks over and starts picking up the envelope. Dorothy walks back in)

DOROTHY

MA! I'm dusting the envelope for finger prints before I give it to Lucas.

SOPHIA

I don't leave fingerprints anymore. (smiles) Too bad!

(Dorothy walks over calmly and snatches the envelope away from Sophia)

SOPHIA

HEY!

DOROTHY

(smiles) Too bad!

SOPHIA

Damn!

(NEXT SCENE)

(Rose is outside on the lania laying down. Blanche walks out)

BLANCHE

Hey Rose...Jack Franklin and me are thinking of going to a movie tonight...

ROSE

And you want my opinion on what movie to see? Wow! That really means a lot. It shows you truly value my opinion.

BLANCHE

Actually I was going to ask to borrow your car.

ROSE

Blanche, you have a car.

BLANCHE

Yeah..but it's low on gas.

ROSE

Doesn't Jack drive?

BLANCHE

Well yes of course honey, but Jack is paying for the hotel room afterwards, it's only fair that I drive.

ROSE

I don't know Blanche.

BLANCHE

(giving a sweet look) Please!

ROSE

Okay, I suppose so.

BLANCHE

Thank you! Now make sure it has a full tank of gas in it by 6.

(Rose gives a confused look. Lucas walks out)

LUCAS

Hello ladies.

BLANCHE

Hey, you're home early.

LUCAS

Yeah I wanted to surprise Dorothy.

ROSE

She took Sophia out shopping. In fact you just missed her.

LUCAS

I guess I should have called first.

BLANCHE

OH! An envelope came for you.

LUCAS

An envelope?

BLANCHE

Rose, do you remember where Dorothy put it?

LUCAS

(alarmed) Dorothy saw it?

BLANCHE

I doubt it. She was too busy trying to keep it away from Sophia.

ROSE

I believe she said it's in your room on the top shelf Lucas.

LUCAS

Top shelf?

ROSE

Yeah so Sophia couldn't reach it.

LUCAS

Okay. Thanks. (smiles and walks back inside)

BLANCHE

Now, that is odd.

ROSE

Yeah I know. He was wearing a green shirt. He never wears a green shirt during the week.

BLANCHE

No you idiot. I was talking about how strange Lucas was acting. Did you see how worried he was over that envelope?

ROSE

So? I doubt it's anything bad.

BLANCHE

I bet it's divorce papers. That's why he doesn't want Dorothy to see it.

ROSE

Oh that's silly Blanche. Lucas and Dorothy love each other.

BLANCHE

Well if it's not divorce papers, what is it?

ROSE

You know back in St. Olaf, an envelope was delivered to Hans Flickersticker. But he died the day before.

BLANCHE

So what happened to it?

ROSE

Well some people wanted to open it. But the "Hey That's Not Your Mail" Club said it would be best to bury it with him.

BLANCHE

So what did you all do?

ROSE

Well, um we lost it. It turned up 30 years later though. It turns out that Allison Millistonger stole it and was going to hold it for ransom. But she tragically died on the way to mailing the ransom note. It seems she had a head on collision with a runaway tv.

BLANCHE

So was it ever opened?

ROSE

Yes it was. It was from Publisher's Clearing House saying Hans was a finalist.

BLANCHE

That's a stupid story.

ROSE

Blanche, were you even listening?

BLANCHE

Yeah I was. That's how I know it's stupid. (walks out)

(Blanche walks into the living room and Lucas is on the phone)

LUCAS

Yeah that's right. One ticket to Atlanta on Friday night.

(Blanche overhears everything)

(NEXT SCENE)

(Dorothy and Sophia are walking in. They are both carrying lots of bags)

DOROTHY

Ma, why do you insist that I take you shopping when all you're gonna do is spend all day looking then nothing at all?

SOPHIA

What's wrong with that?

DOROTHY

That's not shopping. That's browsing.

SOPHIA

Well yeah but I just love the looks on the manager's face when you pick up some expensive stuff and act like you're gonna buy it then change your mind and put it all back and walk out with nothing. The looks alone are priceless.

DOROTHY

Ma, I had to put the stuff back!

SOPHIA

That was even more priceless.

(Blanche walks in)

BLANCHE

(nervous) Dorothy! Sophia! You're home!

DOROTHY

Did Lucas call?

BLANCHE

He came home not long after you two left and then he went right back to work.

DOROTHY

Oh what a shame. I guess I'll go call him.

BLANCHE

Uh, Dorothy, can I speak to you for a minute?

DOROTHY

Can it wait? I really want to talk to Lucas.

BLANCHE

Well I guess so.

(Dorothy walks into the bedroom to call Lucas)

SOPHIA

Why do you need to talk to Dorothy?

BLANCHE

So did you get anything?

SOPHIA

Blanche!

BLANCHE

Oh okay! I heard Lucas on the phone. He's flying to Atlanta on Friday.

SOPHIA

So? Is Atlanta going to be gone by then?

BLANCHE

Well that envelope and then hearing that. I think something is going on.

SOPHIA

We're talking about Lucas and Dorothy. Nothing interesting ever happens to them.

BLANCHE

Well yeah that is true. Besides, Lucas and Dorothy haven't went out to any expensive restuarants or he hasn't been acting too strangely. If he takes her to an expensive restuarant then we know something is going on.

SOPHIA

Why do you say that?

BLANCHE

Well when a guy is having an affair he takes the wife out to an expensive dinner to break it to her gently and so she doesn't cause a scene.

(Dorothy walks back out)

DOROTHY

Bye bye! I'm meeting Lucas at Chez Pierre for dinner.

(Sophia and Blance look at each other)

BLANCHE

Isn't that the new resturant on Clearview drive?

DOROTHY

Yes it is.

BLANCHE

The one they say is the most expensive resturant in town?

DOROTHY

Yep. He says he has something very important to tell me. Oh I am so excited.

BLANCHE

You don't wanna go there Dorothy.

DOROTHY

Why not?

BLANCHE

Why not? Um...

SOPHIA

They hire convicts for cooks.

DOROTHY

(laughing) Where did you hear that ma?

SOPHIA

Uh...it was on some tv show.

DOROTHY

Uh huh. Well I'll see you later. Bye bye. (walks out)

BLANCHE

(looks at Sophia) Come on let's go in Dorothy's bedroom.

SOPHIA

Why?

BLANCHE

To look for that damn envelope. If I'm right, that new restuant will be getting one hell of a show.

SOPHIA

What kind of show?

BLANCHE

World War 3. Come on.

(They go towards the bedroom)

(NEXT SCENE)

(Sophia and Blanche open the door to Dorothy and Lucas's room. They walk in slowly and turn on the light)

BLANCHE

Now if I were an envelope, where would I be?

SOPHIA

A mailbox?

BLANCHE

Very funny. Let's try the closet.

(They walk into the closet)

BLANCHE

Sophia? There isn't enough room in here for two people.

SOPHIA

So lose a few pounds.

BLANCHE

Go look in the nightstand.

(Sophia walks over to the nightstand)

BLANCHE

Hey I found it!

(Sophia does her little run over to Blanche)

(Suddenly they hear a noise)

BLANCHE

Quick get in here. It could be Dorothy.

(Sophia goes in the closet and they shut the door. The other door opens and Rose walks in quietly. She walks around then goes to the closet and opens the door. Rose screams at the same time Sophia and Blanche scream. Blanche drops the envelope as things start to fall on top of them)

ROSE

Blanche? Sophia? What are you doing in here?

SOPHIA

(sarcastic) We like this closet more than our bedrooms and we're thinking of moving in. But we can't decide who gets what side.

ROSE

I don't think you two could both sleep in there.

SOPHIA

Rose, shut up and help us out of here.

(Rose helps Sophia and Blanche out of the closet)

ROSE

I'd still like to know how and how you two got in there. BLANCHE

Well, we think Lucas may be up to something and we came in here to look for the envelope.

ROSE

Shame on you two. How could you do such a thing? That's an invasion of privacy.

BLANCHE

Well what are you doing in here Rose?

ROSE

Me?

SOPHIA

What other Scandinavian nitwit is in this room?

ROSE

Well Blanche was saying all kinds of things and it got me thinking, and Dorothy is one of my best friends...

BLANCHE

You're here for the same reasons we are.

ROSE

Yes.

SOPHIA

You disgust me.

ROSE

(frowns) Oh I'm sorry.

SOPHIA

Rose, I'm only kidding.

ROSE

I knew that.

BLANCHE

Did you really?

ROSE

No. Did you find anything?

BLANCHE

We found that envelope, then when you came in all that stuff fell on my beautiful body and fell from my perky bosoms.

ROSE

So what part of your body is it on now?

BLANCHE

(mildly upset) My body is firm Rose. There isn't one ounce of fat on me.

SOPHIA

Who the hell do you think you are? Barbie?

BLANCHE

Well people have said that me and Barbie are the only women to be anatomically correct.

ROSE

Oh you got stringy hair too?

SOPHIA

No, she's right. She is like Barbie. They both sleep with any anatomically correct male that crosses their path.

BLANCHE

Sophia!

ROSE

Well the envelope can't be too far. Come on.

(They start looking. Suddenly, Rose finds it)

ROSE

I found it! (she picks it up)

BLANCHE

Well don't just stand there. Open it!

ROSE

Maybe we shouldn't do this.

BLANCHE

Why not?

ROSE

Well it's not ours.

BLANCHE

(serious) Rose, we have gone thru a lot today to find out what is going on with Lucas. Between the three of us, we have listened in on conversations, hid inside of a dirty closet, had heavy stuff fall all over us, messing up my perfect hair. Then for some reason you insisted on opening that closet nearly giving me a fatal heart attack. Then we lose the envelope and have to go searching for it inside the mess of hell, then when we finally find it and can find out once and for all what's going and you're suddenly getting a conscious attack. Rose, I mean this with all the love I have for you and sincerity I can muster. If you don't open that damn envelope I will pull out every piece of hair you have. And when I get done your hair won't ever be able to be that color again.

ROSE

(starts opening it) Wow! This really is easy to open!

(They look at it)

BLANCHE

Oh my God. I cannot believe this. Can either of you?

SOPHIA

Shut up! I'm still reading!

BLANCHE

Rose?

ROSE

I've got a question. What does that mean?

BLANCHE

What does what mean?

ROSE

Something about a party of the first part. What kind of party?

BLANCHE

Rose, honey you idiot. This says that Lucas really is going to Atlanta. And without Dorothy.

ROSE

Why?

BLANCHE

I don't know. But if he's going to Atlanta without Dorothy, it can't be good. Come on.

ROSE

Where are we going?

BLANCHE

To that restuarant. To tell Dorothy before she finds out from Lucas.

ROSE

Shouldn't Lucas be the one to tell her?

BLANCHE

Rose, just trust me okay?

ROSE

Okay. You coming Sophia?

SOPHIA

Now I know why I didn't go to law school.

ROSE

Why?

SOPHIA

So I wouldn't have to read that kind of crap. I'd go blind in 3 days.

(NEXT SCENE)

(Dorothy and Lucas are eating in the resturant)

LUCAS

How's your steak?

DOROTHY

It's delicious. How's your chicken?

LUCAS

Oh it's alright.

DOROTHY

Lucas, is everything okay?

LUCAS

Dorothy, you know I love you right?

DOROTHY

Oh God, what did ma do now?

LUCAS

It's not Sophia. Sophia's great.

DOROTHY

Which Sophia are we talking about?

LUCAS

Dorothy, I'm going to Atlanta tomorrow.

DOROTHY

(starts laughing) That's a good one. Seriously, what did ma do?

(Lucas doesn't laugh)

DOROTHY

You know you're either a very good kidder, or...you're serious.

LUCAS

I am serious.

DOROTHY

Oh. Well surely it's just a business trip. So what day next week will you be back?

LUCAS

It's sort of business.

DOROTHY

Sort of? Is that like sort of being pregnant?

LUCAS

What I mean is...it's not exactly the same kind of business trip you're thinking of. And it's a rather long business trip.

DOROTHY

I'm still rather confused.

LUCAS

That envelope that came for me today was from a lawyer. He works very well with finances.

DOROTHY

What's that got to do with you? I mean since you don't have your business anymore, I wouldn't think you would need a lawyer a finance lawyer.

LUCAS

His name is Shawn.

DOROTHY

I don't care if his name is Perry Mason.

LUCAS

He thinks that if I go down to Atlanta I'll stand a very good chance of getting my business back.

DOROTHY

Okay, so we leave tomorrow right?

LUCAS

You aren't coming.

DOROTHY

What?

LUCAS

Dorothy, were you happy in Atlanta?

DOROTHY

Yes, of course.

LUCAS

Dorothy, I love you. You and I were in Atlanta for 6 years. And during that whole time, not once did I ever see you happy because you were actually IN Atlanta.

DOROTHY

Did it show that much?

LUCAS

I tried to ignore it, but on some nights, I pretended to be asleep, and I could hear you pacing. And on other nights I'd hear you quietly crying.

DOROTHY

I never wanted you to know about that.

LUCAS

There's a lot of things you'd be surprised I know.

DOROTHY

Such as?

LUCAS

Well for instance..you always wash your toothbrush in hot water right after and right before you use it.

DOROTHY

I'm sure a lot of people do that.

LUCAS

Alright. Your favorite kind of food is Chinese. You always drive with your hands at 9 o'clock and 1 o'clock on the steering wheel. Your favorite earrings are the 1/2 carrot diamond ones I gave you for your birhday the first year we were married. You prefer glasses to plastic cups. Your favorite color is blue.

DOROTHY

(has tears) Anyone could know that.

LUCAS

That's true. But how would they know all that? By you telling them or by observing you and remembering? Dorothy you never told me any of that. I found it all out by watching you. I know what your favorite earrings are by how often you wear them. Like you are now. And I know your favorite color is blue by how often you wear it and buy things in blue.

DOROTHY

(a tear falls) I guess you really do know me.

LUCAS

Yes I do. And I believe you know me just as well. So you will understand when I say how much this means to me. And that you belong here with Blanche, Rose & your mother. I'll be back in no time. I promise.

DOROTHY

This really does mean a lot to you.

LUCAS

Dorothy, you and Miami belong together. You need and it needs you. Just like Rose, Blanche & Sophia. You 4 are a family and knowing you are with them will make me feel better knowing you are taken care of.

DOROTHY

You know I should be yelling.

LUCAS

Dorothy..

DOROTHY

I wasn't finished. I should be yelling and don't you think that being in this very expensive place would stop me because when I wanna cause a scene believe me I do. But I won't. I love you and I think you should go for it.

LUCAS

Are you sure you're okay with it

(Dorothy nods)

(Rose, Blanche & Sophia walk into the resturant)

BLANCHE

Now girls please, let me do all the talking.

ROSE

Why you?

BLANCHE

Okay, fine you tell her.

ROSE

I don't wanna tell her. Oh please don't make me.

SOPHIA

Rose, shut up!

ROSE

You tell her Sophia.

SOPHIA

What are you nuts? I'm her mother. Mothers don't do that to their kids. Blanche, you tell her.

BLANCHE

Why didn't I think of that?

SOPHIA

Maybe cause you're brain is stuck up some guy's..

ROSE

Sophia! Please don't. There's Lucas and Dorothy. Come on.

(They walk over to them)

BLANCHE

Dorothy, we need to talk.

DOROTHY

Blanche? Rose? Ma? What are you all doing here?

BLANCHE

Dorothy, we have something very important to tell you and please don't be upset.

DOROTHY

What is it about?

BLANCHE

It's about Lucas. Now please don't hate him when you hear this.

DOROTHY

I already know Blanche

BLANCHE

(surprised) You do?

SOPHIA

Do you want me to hold him down for you pussycat?

DOROTHY

(laughs) No of course not. Lucas loves me and I understand why he's doing it.

BLANCHE

You mean you know everything?

DOROTHY

Yes.

ROSE

Then would you explain to us? We really don't know. We didn't understand those papers.

LUCAS

You read those papers?

ROSE

Uh oh.

BLANCHE

Good one Rose.

DOROTHY

Lucas is going back to Atlanta to try and get his business back and I'm gonna stay here with you all.

ROSE

And you don't mind?

DOROTHY

(smiles and looks at Lucas) Not at all.

(Lucas and Dorothy are standing by the door)

LUCAS

I'll call you as soon as I land.

DOROTHY

I'll be waiting.

LUCAS

I love you.

DOROTHY

I love you too. (They kiss and Lucas walks out and Dorothy slowly shuts the door)

ROSE

You know, I'm starting to miss him already.

DOROTHY

I know the feeling.

SOPHIA

Pussycat, are you ok?

DOROTHY

I could really use a group hug.

(They all go up to her and hug her close)

DOROTHY

I'm going to go lie down. (walks in her bedroom)

(The rest of them sigh)

ROSE

I want some cheesecake.

BLANCHE

Good idea!

SOPHIA

Just what we need. Cheesecake. Which will make you all fat and me having to watch it happen.

BLANCHE

Cheesecake is very good for the body.

SOPHIA

Which part? The thighs or the butt?

(They go into the kitchen)

(NEXT SCENE

(They are sitting in the kitchen)

ROSE

I wish Dorothy was here. She loves cheesecake. (no one says anything) Sophia, what are you thinking about?

SOPHIA

Dorothy. She was really upset when Lucas left.

BLANCHE

Can you really blame her?

SOPHIA

I was just thinking when Sal went away for the first time on a business trip.

ROSE

What's that got to do with it?

SOPHIA

Dorothy, Gloria & Phil were just kids. I felt so alone.

BLANCHE

But he did come back right?

SOPHIA

Yeah but you feel alone and left out.

ROSE

So what did you do?

SOPHIA

What do you think I did? Called every guy in the state and invited them over and showed them all a good time? I spent time with the kids and when Sal got back, I made him swear not to ever do that again. Course I had to also swear to give him a good time every other weekend that he would be away.

BLANCHE

I always had fun when George would have a business trip. I'd get to go to all kinds of parties and pretend to be single. Of course, I'd never do anything, but flirting is almost as fun as actually doing it.

(Dorothy walks in)

ROSE

Dorothy! How do you feel?

DOROTHY

I've been better.

SOPHIA

Why did you let Lucas go if you didn't really want him to?

DOROTHY

It meant so much to him.

BLANCHE

He'll be back Dorothy.

DOROTHY

I know. I just hate being alone.

BLANCHE

Well you've been alone a lot of nights.

DOROTHY

Thank you Blanche. By the way, you have more wrinkles on you then a 10 year old sheet.

BLANCHE

Oh my God! Tell me you're kidding.

DOROTHY

Yes I'm kidding. I just wanted you to feel almost as bad as I do right now.

ROSE

Dorothy, you're upset about Lucas going to Atlanta without you right?

DOROTHY

No Rose..I'm upset because in case I ever want to dye hair back to it's natural color I can't because that color has become discontinued. Of course I'm upset about Lucas!

BLANCHE

You need to snap out of this. Lucas has only been gone for 1/2 an hour.

DOROTHY

If I wanna be upset and depressed, I'll be upset and depressed.

BLANCHE

I give up. Dorothy you're acting like a child! And I'm not gonna put up with it anymore.

(Blanche walks out and Rose follows and turns around)

ROSE

Yeah! (she leaves)

DOROTHY

Do you believe them?

SOPHIA

Yeah I can.

DOROTHY

Ma!

SOPHIA

Dorothy, do you think Lucas would have gone if you told him not to?

DOROTHY

Probably not.

SOPHIA

Well if you didn't want him to go, you should have said so.

DOROTHY

But he wanted to and I love him and..

SOPHIA

And you're making me sick!

DOROTHY

Ma, what are you saying?

SOPHIA

You made your decision pussycat. You told him to go and now you're depressed and you regret it? That's pretty stupid.

DOROTHY

Are you calling me stupid?

SOPHIA

Not really but since you mentioned it I think I will. You're stupid!

DOROTHY

Thanks ma, you really know how to make me feel better.

SOPHIA

I'm not trying to make you feel better. I'm trying to get you to realize how stupid you're acting so you can make yourself feel better.

(The phone rings)

DOROTHY

I'll get it.

SOPHIA

Fine by me. My butt's stuck to the chair, there's no way I can get up in time to get it.

DOROTHY

(picks up the phone) Hello? Lucas! Oh my God. Are you in Atlanta already? Oh, your flight is just leaving. (smiles) I love you too.

(Blanche and Rose walk back in)

BLANCHE

Who's on the phone?

SOPHIA

It's either Lucas or Johnny Carson. Take your pick.

ROSE

(excited) Dorothy is talking to Johnny Carson!!!

SOPHIA

(rolls her eyes) Yes Rose..they're working together to get you committed.

BLANCHE

Come on, let's give Dorothy some privacy.

SOPHIA

Fine by me, but you're gonna have to help me up. My butt is stuck.

(Rose and Blanche help her up. They turn around and watch Dorothy smiling)

SOPHIA

She'll be fine. If she's not..one of you will have to sleep with her.

(Sophia walks out and Blanche and Rose look at each other then walk out as Dorothy continues talking to Lucas)