· WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
· WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
· WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
· WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
· WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
· WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
· WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.
· WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).
· WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
· WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
· WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
· WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
· WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
· WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in.
· WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
· WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
· WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.
· WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose name and/or species you can't remember).
· WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
· WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, more attractive, and smarter than some really, really big guy named Franz.
· WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
· WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.
· WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.