| March 10th, 2002 Well, I have finished with the Gita. I was disturbed by one aspect. Hinduism, and indeed many religions teach a distruction of the ego, or a submission of the self to some higher thing. I find this idea instinctually repulsive, and as a keenly egotistical man, can find no acceptance of it. Thus, once again being disillusioned by the teachings of religion; I have turned my eyes once again to western philosophy. I was in Borders, (which by the way had a broken coffee machine, I was not pleased with that) and I was purusing the philosophy section, and came across a book that seemed quite interesting. It is Why I am Not A Christian by Bertrand Russell. I have been reading it since Monday and I find it very stimulating. I have gone back and forth on my opinion of western philosophy. At times I have felt that it was too objective and rooted too much in science. I felt dismayed by its criticism of emotion. But now, with everything subjective flying around me, I think I would prefer a level playing field. As my associate commented today, “at least with the philosophers everything is laid out in an organized manner. You know what the hell they are trying to say.” I agree, there is something to be said for the organizational manner in which philosophers present their ideas. Their logical format might seem cold to some, but they eliminate a lot of gray areas by doing so. You will know where they stand and exactly what they are saying. I have consigned myself to studying philosophy with no hope of redemption, salvation, or transcendence. I believe that the highest achievement one can obtain is knowledge and human compassion. In the future, I will likely change my position, as I am a very chaotic being. But for now, for today at least, this is where I stand. Also, in my eternal struggle between literature and philosophy, for right now I intend to pursue a master’s degree in philosophy. I feel that literature is very useful and good, and that it is very beneficial for instructing the common person, that it is of an inferior quality to philosophy, which is the study of pure ideas. March 8th, 2002 Me and my good freind were discussing some things tonight and in light of it, I came to some astounding realizations. I may perhaps have the beginnings of my Master's Thesis. In the move Fight Club and The Matrix, there are some amazing paralells that are on the edge of deep spirituality. Both main characters are torn between tow alter-egos. Fight Club it is obvious, with Jack and Tyler. In the Matrix it is a bit more subtle. He leaves behind Mr. Anderson and fully becomes Neo. He tells this to the agent. Near the end, Neo is killed, but then comes back. He sees the matrix for what it is, and is fully "the one" no longer having any part of Mr. Anderson. Near the end of Fight Club, Jack shoots himself to kill Tyler, but before that he says "my eyes are open". Again we have a death and resurection and an asimilation of alter egos into one unified person. This can be seen as the distruction of the false ego and the asimilation of the true self. Both movies are highly spiritual. I am not sure if the makers of these movies know this or not. Also, there is a parallel in "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Matenence". The main character has Phaedrus as an alter ego. In Fight Club and The Matrix, there is an important female character which acts as the catalyst for everything as well as symbolizing the subcoscious. I think this would be excellent for a major thesis paper, and/or a book. The paralells are remarkable. There are further elements I would like to explore in both movies. Is there a deeper meaning to the fact that Tyler lives on paper street? What about the name Neo? Trinity? Morpheus? There is a great deal of myth in those names alone. There is tons of symbolism and mythology in both of these works and they are very similar on deeper levels. That is why both movies appeal to the smae type of people. If you live one, then you are bound to like the other. I am ashamed to say that I have not read the Fight Club book yet. I will need a copy of that, and also a script for The Matrix in order to make it a legitamite literature thesis and not a film thesis. The book will be easy, but I have to find a script somewhere... March 7th, 2002 Sitting here liistening to some Monster Magnet. Gotta love em. Anyhow, to business. Updates to the site were made. I have added a link to my poetry on The Poetic Link, a nifty little site for people to publish their verse. I havn't been into writing poetry as of late, but it is still an interst of mine. I also added a copy of my technology speech that I gave a while back. A lot of people were pretty taken by it. I have been reading something today that has really effected me. It is a book entitled The Bhagavad-Gita. My buddy was kind enough to let me borrow it. It is the principle book of Hinduism. I have never honestly read any Hindu texts before, but I had known a bit about the religion. But here! This book, and the teachings of Krishna are the summit of true spirituality for me. It contains in it the best elements of Thelema and Buddhism and goes beyond both. I expect to be reading it quite closely and returning to a more spiritual life. I have been much too involved in the things of maya lately, and it beyond time that I look upward and inward. Intellectualism is my path in life to be sure, but I cannot let go of the underlying structure that gives me the REASON to be an intellectual. March 6th, 2002 Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt to say a few words, even though no one ever reads this site. But what do I care? Im a friggin Nihilist. Spring semester is almost over now. One more year to go before graduate school. I have been thinking about doing something with my web page for a while now. Perhaps some literary and philosophical stuff. Who knows. Perhaps if there was something interesting here, then perhaps someone would be inclined to read it. Oh yes, as indicated by my picture, I have shaved my head. The true reason being monistic by nature. Also my hair was just getting on my nerves. Something interesting happened to me today. There was a little discussion on a message board, and I put my thoughts in on the matter. The next postee asked me if I was a Buddhist monk, and said if I wasn't then perhaps I should be. Something to ponder... Anyway, if you want to see the discussion, here ya go. I made the second post, and I am Toby of course. The only other thing interesting I have seen lately is a show called The O'Reilly Factor. I have found that I like O'reilly, where other comentators are boring. He takes a lot of the bullshit our of what is going on and drives hard interviews. Recently on his show he had ICP on there. What other news commentator brings ICP on their show? That's all for now. Stay tuned. |