Journal entry (from live journal) :
9:35 am - I wanna fuck myself.
Yes, It's a GG Allin reference. Resume breathing.
This weekend was weird. Today is weird. I have this niggling nagging weirdness. Like someone's trying to get inside me by force and make me their puppet. Hope and pray that you, dear reader, are not the one doing it, because I have something planned for you, my sweet.
Ben and I went to <none of your business>. The plan was to hang out all weekend with Mike. We wound up leaving early Saturday afternoon. Why? Mike has become brainwashed and his redneck white trash bitchass girlfriend has gotten a zillion times more pathetic and evil since we saw her last. And the poor guy is going to marry her. Ugh. I have never in my life been witness to such an evil woman. And the sad thing is, she probably has no idea how rotten she's being because it's probably because of her upbringing. And Mike is so oblivious to it because he'd rather be miserable than lonely. I can relate; I've been in his shoes more than once. But still... you've got to reach a breaking point kind of fast with a cunt like THAT in your life. One would HOPE, anyway.
She was moping about us being there. Not saying anything DIRECTLY to us, of course, attempting to let Mike take care of it. And he seemed quite happy to oblige, which freaked me out. Ben simply said, "I don't want to sound rude, but could we just hang for a FEW more minutes? I mean, Mike's my best friend and I haven't seen him in four months." Well, she fucking FLIPPED. Not on Ben, but on MIKE. I was aghast. I wanted to rip out her fucking throat. How could Mike NOT see what a psychopathic looney she is?!?!
I kept my mouth shut, of course, because girls like that will pull you outside for a fist fight if you disagree with them. No thanks. Of course, I know Ben wouldn't have let her hurt me, but then, Mike is five times the size of the two of us combined. Well, in strength, at least. So it's good that we both kept quiet and made a vain attempt at keeping everything comfortable. But we were miserable. The apartment was a shithole, and our room (we had to go out and buy an air bed, or else sleep on a cruddy, half broken wooden floor, by the way) was just as cold inside as it was outside. So, we left shortly after waking up the following morning. I felt sick. I didn't want to be witness to their sappy pathetic psychoticness any longer. It all left such a sour taste in my mouth. Especially how pussywhipped Mike is. He was being such an asshole, and I know it's because of her, because by nature, the guy is cool as hell. And he deserves a good woman, not some trashy trailer slut who wants to make his life hell. Sigh. I hope he figures it out. I wish there was something I could do, but he's in so deep now. Hell, they're engaged. Ew.
Ben is feeling pretty bummed out about it, and I can't say I blame him. Watching your best friend rot away into the pits of hell is not easy or enjoyable. And I know Ben has been in his shoes before, so I know that watching him in this situation has got to be rehashing his own bad memories of relationships past.
Guess I have a few wishes to grant. Remember to be specific, Michelle. SPECIFIC.
current mood: weird
current music: Die Krupps - Iron Man (KMFDM Remix)
Rant (From Spike's Swank A Go Go Yahoo! Club):
Since Spike and I spent part of our weekend cold and miserable, clinging to each other for warmth while attempting to sleep on a cheap air mattress in a shithole apartment and feeling extremely uncomfortable at the hands of one particular female who most certainly deserves to die, I am now going to rant about why women fucking suck. Because I have now witnessed, in action, one of the most evil, repulsive, and wicked human beings that bears tits and a cunt in my entire life.
"How to recognise a psychotic bitch that you should stay the hell away from." By Ilsa.
1.) She will demand all of your attention, all the time. And if you deny her that, for even just a moment, the pout will come out. If you so much as speak to another person, male or female (but if it's female, the wrath upon you will be much, much worse) she will begin to yell at you. For something most likely imaginary (because all she wants is your attention. There's nothing actually WRONG, she just wants to be at the center of your universe again.)
How to solve this dilemma: Slap the rotten bitch across the face, and in your best Cartman voice, say, "Bitch, get back in the kitchen, and make me some pie!"
2.) Anything she challenges you with about herself, she is blatantly telling you what she is doing. However, she is also looking to hear you say that she isn't doing what she's doing. For example: "It's always about ME. I'm always the one to blame. It's always my fault. I'm the one who does everything wrong. TELL me I'm wrong. TELL me I'm WRONG!"
What you should do: Tell her she's fucking wrong and that she should go die. It's that simple. :)
3.) She'll be nice to your friends to their faces. But once they're gone: "They're bad for you. Bad influences. They want to suck out your soul. They're stealing from you. They only like you for your pot/money/slack pad/big tv/insert other thing you could possibly be used for here:______. Get rid of them. They don't love you, but I do." This reverts back to number 2. She is telling you what she's doing to you, except she's trying to focus the blame off of herself and onto someone else.
What you should do: Be true to your heart. You know who your fucking friends are, and she does NOT. Nor does she care. She wants you all to herself, and she wants all your stuff, too.
What needs to be done: At this point, just kill her. Seriously.
4.) If you don't live with a psychotic chick, but you date one, be wary. Because not living with her means less attention from you. Which leads to all kinds of suspicions. If she's blowing up your cell phone or pager nonstop, emailing you incessantly, and accusing you of things or, (worst!) showing up at your house and peeking in your windows, WALK. Oh, and contrary to popular belief, restraining orders work. Trust me, I know. Been there, done that, wore the tshirt until it didn't fit no mo'.
I only wish a certain friend of ours was internet ready and would read this. He'd probably just get mad since she's sucked him in so deep, but hey, you never know. A smack in the face from reality CAN work once in a while.
:end transmission: