november 18, 1999

so I haven't done a journal entry in forever. Shoot me. I haven't felt like it, though there's been quite a few things to write about, most of which I'll probably neglect to put in this journal because my mind just doesn't function correctly without at least three cups of coffee flowing through my system. Things are going well, for the most part. I've been a little irritated with Elyse lately, but I'm chalking it up to the fact that she's a different person when she's fucked up, and she's been partying a lot lately. She's not supposed to drink while on this new medication she has, but she's doing it anyway. I'd say something, but i know from experience that it's not a good thing to do, especially if the person is under the influence of something when you tell them. So, I'm just laying low on this. She isn't dumb. She'll figure it out. The last thing I need is conflict in my life and I already had an argument with her last night about some immature behavior she was displaying last time I hung out with her. Of course, she was drunk, high, and on her meds when she called me to talk about it, so I don't feel like anything got accomplished, but at this point, I'm settling on forgetting it happened.
new news: I don't have to wait around for a bisexual woman willing to have a threesome to come along. Rob and I had a talk and he agreed to let me experiment on my own. I've met a few women online who are possible prospects, so we'll see. This is a great relief, and I've been a lot less angsty since he gave me the okay. Elyse is out of the question. I don't want to trash our friendship, and she's got a lot on her plate right now. Somehow I don't really think she was ever interested in me in that way anyway.
I'm buckling down, and swallowing my pride, and seriously considering getting a boring but good paying job at Rutgers so I can finish school and make better money. I'm not selling my art, and the video store is so lame it hurts, so I have to do something. Wishing for a job at a record label or graphic design company is not going to get me there. And Liam is almost old enough for day care now, so it'll be easier.
What else....?
I don't know. There's a lot going on, but I'm not feeling inspired to write. The basics are all detailed here anyway.