October 25, 1999

I know I haven't been writing much. Sorry to all three of you who have been on the edge of your seats waiting for the next installment in my oh-so-exciting life. :)
I guess I just haven't had much to talk about this last week. I've been working and doing the mom thing, and occasionally hanging out with Elyse and Rob. However, I do have something to rave about...

I got an IUD. No, it's not something you get arrested for, it's a form of birth control. One of the most reliable and hassle free forms of birth control, I might add. (i wouldn't suggest it to anyone if they aren't in a long-term monogamous relationship, though. Something about the IUD makes you at greater risk for STD's, and that's bad!) Let me just tell you, I've only had it for a few days, and I had to get it while I'm having my period (which I still have, BTW) and I'm still a few days shy of being non-bloody. but sex without a condom feels so good! I forgot how good it feels! MMMMM MMMM! :)

The experience:
Well, I was told by doctors and midwives and those little pamphlets in the Planned Parenthood office that having an IUD put in is a little painful. I was also told that it makes your periods heavier, and cramps worse. Well, Getting it put in was cake. It felt a little like the cramping I felt while in labor, but not nearly as intense. The nurse was like, "You can squeeze my hand now, Michelle," and I never felt like I had to. I did feel a little tiny bit faint at one point, for just a few moments, but I was lying down, so I guess the effect wasn't as intense as it would have been if maybe I was sitting or standing up. Further proof that I make a good masochistic submissive. I can take pain. :)

So enough about my uterus. On to other things.

I woke up early this morning because I needed the car. The sky was gorgeous. The moon was bright and large in the sky, and the horizon was blue, with a pink layer atop it, fading into yellow and orange, and finally a grey blue filled the rest of the sky. Framed by all the trees changing color, it really was breathtaking. I couldn't take my eyes off the moon; it was so cool. Funny how something you know about and see every day of your life can still be so mysterious. And so beautiful. I used to have dreams about being on the moon when I was a child. The ground, of course, glowed. I remember dreaming that I was on the moon, and it was just beginning construction so people could live on it. I was walking across vast, glowing nothingness until I found a road that led to a humongous.... gas station. Weird, I know. But something about that dream was so cool, and it has stayed with me for years. I think I had the dream a few times, actually. I would like to go to the moon someday. Even though I know the ground doesn't glow. :)

I can't help but feel a little weirdness lately. Everything's pretty much okay in general, except that I haven't talked to Bill much lately since the last big blowout with his girlfriend. Not that I haven't tried. He just isn't online much anymore. And if he is, he's pretty quiet. He says he's been extremely busy at work, but I get a really weird vibe about it. I miss him. He is one of my best friends after all. I was worried that all the weirdness with his girlfriend would distance us, and I think maybe it has. Who knows; maybe he is so busy at work that he doesn't have time to chat. I have little doubt about it, actually. But I just sense something. Some uncomfortable weirdness. Almost like he feels guilty talking to me, so he makes it short and sweet and then disappears all day. I hope this isn't the case, but I can't help the vibes I've been getting. I talked to Rob about it, but at the time I wasn't feeling as strange about it as I do now. I'm hoping everything is okay. I haven't had a chance to talk to him about it yet, so the strange feeling will remain until I do.

Or maybe I'm just paranoid. :)

I've been having a lot of good, creative ideas lately.
Too bad I keep FORGETTING them.
Elyse and I need to collaborate on some things. She's very creative, and has some great ideas. She offered to model for me; I have an idea for a painting but I need a model. So that should be cool.

Anyhoooooo... I must get going. So sorry I've been lax in my entries. Life, as mundane as it can be sometimes, gets in the way.