| Title: Ten Pages Of Completion Author: Gillian Silverlight Distribution: My site, those that have permission already, other please ask. Disclaimer: They are owned by Joss and the WB, I just play with them. Summary: Sequel to ‘Nine Pages Of Forgiveness’ Rating: PG-13 Ten Pages of Completion Buffy heard the sound of her mom’s car pull into the driveway just before dawn. She’d let Angel and Spike use it to bring Spike’s things back from his crypt faster, so the two vampires could be back safely before dawn. They came back into the house and Spike went straight over to Buffy, sitting down beside her. Angel stood in the doorway to the kitchen, looking unsure. “Angel, come sit next to me please.” Buffy asked her dark-haired ex-lover. Relief flowed across Angel’s face as he crossed the living room and sat on the sofa next to the small blonde. Spike sat on her other side. Giles and Willow had taken seats in the chairs facing Buffy. The three had been just chatting while they waited for the two vampires to return. “I was getting worried about you two. Any problems?” Buffy asked Spike. He looked across Buffy at Angel, waiting for his sire to reply to the slayer’s question. “I wanted to swing by the mansion and pick up those pages, Buffy. I think that it will make this conversation easier if you let Giles and Willow read them too.” Angel told her quietly. Inside he was silently pleading with her to agree. Angel felt that especially Giles needed to know just how serious he and Buffy’s other friends had affected her; as well as the repercussions from Spike’s and his own actions. Buffy looked into Angel’s eyes, seeing the questions and concerns mirrored there. “Alright.” She told him quietly. “If you feel that’s the best idea.” Angel reached over and took Buffy’s hand in his. “I do, Buffy. They need to know, just like Spike and I needed to know.” Taking a deep breath, Buffy just nodded, then leaned back and closed her eyes. Spike put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. Buffy leaned into the younger vampire’s shoulder. “I’m going to take them into the kitchen to read and try and answer any questions. Ok, love?” Angel asked the slayer he loved. “Yeah. Probably better that way. I trust you to answer whatever questions they may have, Angel.” Buffy told him as she opened her eyes to look up at his beautiful face. The three of them got up from their seats and went into the kitchen, leaving Spike and Buffy alone in the living room. “I’m really embarrassed for them to read that, Spike.” Buffy muttered to Spike. He nuzzled her neck laying a soft kiss on the side of it before looking into her hazel eyes. “I know you are, luv. But they do need to know what happened and why. They’ve not asked questions, just been here. Angel thinks it will help them accept you and I together easier.” Angel had spent the entire ride back over to Buffy’s house convincing Spike of the reasons for having especially Giles and Willow read those pages. They needed to understand what Buffy had been dealing with for so long; how it had piled up and overwhelmed her and why they needed to not make it worse. “If you really think so…” Buffy snuggled into Spike’s shoulder as he folded her into his arms, pulling her closer to him. “I do, luv. I never want to have to go through anything like tonight ever again. I don’t ever want to lose you, Buffy. I love you, kitten.” The very thought that they might not have been in time terrified Spike more than anything he’d ever seen in his entire existence. “I won’t leave you. I promise you I won’t. You said I was your soul. So I’ll make a deal with you. You be my strength and I’ll be your soul.” Buffy told him, half teasing. Spike saw the tear slide down her face and knew just how serious she really was. “Deal, luv. I’ll be all the strength you need me to be, and you’ll be my soul. Did you know, even though I’ve not seen myself in over a hundred years; I can see myself in your eyes when I look into them.” Spike pulled her slight form into his arms tighter, his own tears silently leaving a trail down his pale cheeks. They just sat and held each other close, sharing strength, love, support and just the joy of touching, as they waited for the others to return. ********************************************* In the kitchen, Angel handed the pages to Giles.” Maybe if you and Willow can read them together, we can get back in there quicker. Both of them are hurting right now until we get this all settled. I’ll try and answer any questions you might have.” “Ah, may we see what you and Spike wrote to her as well, this evening?” Giles asked very carefully. Angel was silent for several seconds as Giles thought the vampire might refuse his request. ”Yeah. I’ll go get them. They’re important in this as well.” Angel went up to Buffy’s room, picked up the letters from Spike and himself and took them back down stairs to the kitchen. Giles and Willow were deep into the first pages. Willow had tears rolling openly down her face. Angel laid the pages under the ones from Buffy’s diary and sat waiting. *************************************************** Giles had finished the last of the pages, the ones that Angel had written to Buffy. “Good lord, Angel! I – I had no idea.. About her, or you or Spike.” Giles sat heavily on the stool next to him, his mind racing. “I – she never told me the vast majority of that. You never gave me any idea either.” “And Spike? Did you have any idea about him or her or them? Would you have listened even if you did?” Angel asked the watcher quietly. “No, you’re quite right. I did have an idea about some of his feelings. I didn’t listen. I didn’t think he could feel so without a soul. I didn’t want to know. After what we all went through with her relationship with you… Sorry, Angel.” Giles struggled to explain and apologize at the same time. “No. It’s true Giles. So we all pushed her to this point as well as her keeping so much to herself.” Angel replied, a slight wiry smile on his face. “OK! Enough of the chest beating here, guys! We did it. We all did it. So how do we fix it now and not do it again?” Willow asked. She was angry. Angry at them, at herself for letting things with Buffy get so out of hand, for not knowing and for the two men arguing when they needed to be repairing the damage they had done. ”Sorry, Willow. You’re right. We need to go and let Buffy know we were wrong and that we understand and support her in whatever decision she makes.” Giles told the redheaded witch that was his slayer’s best friend. “Well, her choice is with Spike. I can tell you that already. She made us go get his things to move him in tonight. She doesn’t want to be alone.” Angel dropped the news on them to forewarn them of what was coming. With that comment, Angel turned to walk back into the living room where Buffy and Spike waited. Giles and Willow followed him. ************************************************ Spike was still sitting with his arm around Buffy, but now on the other side of her, was Dawn. Spike occasionally stroked the younger girl’s hair as Dawn sat with her hand enclosed between Buffy and Spike’s hand. Willow walked over to the sofa and sat on the edge next to Dawn, laying her hand on the teen’s shoulder. “Dawnie, what are you up? It’s late, or early.. or something. You should be asleep.” “I wanted to check on my sister. I needed to know she’s ok and that everybody else is ok too.” Dawn mumbled back at the witch. “She’s ok now, Dawnie. We’re all gonna be sure she’s ok from now on.” Willow looked at Dawn’s face and then allowed her vision to move to Buffy’s face, as her voice got harder. “Because if your sister ever again keeps stuff like that to herself, I’ll personally kick her butt!” Willow quickly leaned over and kissed Dawn on the cheek, then Buffy. Willow looked into the startling blue eyes of the blonde vampire holding and touching both Summers girls, comforting them. To everyone’s surprise, including her own, Willow kissed Spike on the cheek too. She turned back to the chair she had been using; her face flushed bright red from embarrassment. With a small smile on his face, Angel reached over and squeezed Willow’s hand. “They’ve read everything now, Buffy. We should all talk?” Angel asked the small woman he loved with his whole unbeating heart. “Yeah….I guess so.” Buffy turned and looked at Spike. He nodded at her. They both understood the question even without words. Angel saw the look pass between them and was a bit jealous. He used to be able to do that with her. Not any more. Not for a long time. In fact, not since the night of her seventeenth birthday. The dark haired brooding vampire sighed as his heart broke a little bit more. One day.. one day it wouldn’t hurt so bad, he told himself. Buffy had heard the sound Angel made. She looked at him and a looked passed between them. They did still understand each other! He saw the love in her eyes and the apology. He sighed again as the wound in his heart heal ever so slightly with that one look. Then Buffy closed her eyes and turned her head away. * ‘Close your eyes….’ She told me. This time she’s the one doing the closing. This time she’s been the one in Hell. * “Angel, I’m so very, very sorry to have hurt you in the past, and now tonight. I’m sorry I hurt all of you. I understand now why you had to do what you did, Angel. I want you to know I forgive you. I’ll always forgive you. I still love you and I’ll be there if you need me; but I have to do what you wanted me to do and that is be happy. So I’m gonna try to be happy now, finally.” Buffy turned and looked into Spike’s eyes. “I’m sorry for everything I put you through, Spike. And if you really want me, then yes, I’ll have you. I can’t promise we can make this work, but I accept that and I’m willing to try. I love you. You’ve known me better than almost anyone for so long..” She just looked at him for a second and then laid a gentle kiss on his lips as a tear trailed down her cheek. Spike reached up and just as gently kissed the tear away. “You know I want you. I can’t promise to be good at this relationship thing. But I love you, Buffy.” As he looked in the slayer’s eyes so very seriously, his other hand crept around her back and suddenly ruffled Dawn’s hair. “I love tha’ Nibblet too, you know.” Buffy’s soft reply of affirmation was almost drowned out by Dawn’s groan of complaint as her hair was mussed. Everyone laughed at that point, except Dawn. “Spike.. If Anya can manage to learn how to be human and handle a relationship with Xander, I think you can manage to do that with Buffy.” Willow reassured both of them. “Oh lord! We have to go through all of that again?!” Giles bemoaned to no one and everyone in general. “Cheer up Giles, he’s had a bit of practice so far and if he mis-behaves, Buffy can just beat him around a bit.” Angel chuckled earning him a glare from his childe and a glare with a decided twinkle in her eye from Buffy. “The big question, Buffy, is have you finally forgiven yourself?” Angel asked her gently. Buffy looked at him, then turned to Spike and kissed his cheek before she got up from the sofa and out of the younger vampire’s embrace. She walked over and sat very carefully on just Angel’s knees, curling her arms around his neck as he caught her by the waist with his large hands. “I’ll forgive myself if you can look me in the eye and tell me that you have honestly forgiven me and yourself as well.” “Touché.” Angel replied so that just Buffy and Spike with his vampire senses could hear him. Then a bit louder he spoke for the rest of them. “So we make a trade then? I’ll forgive you and myself, you’ve already forgiven me and you’ll forgive yourself?” “Yep. That’s the trade.” Buffy’s voice dropped to barely a sound. “Then we just have to do it.” Angel squeezed Buffy gently with both hands as he smiled that wicked half smile that always melted her heart. She leaned forward and hugged him close, then leaned in to kiss him. The kiss was deep and full of passion and tongues and tears mingled as it went on for what seemed forever. Both Angel and Buffy both knew that was how long it had to last, for this was a kiss goodbye to the love they had once had. They had to both let it go and allow it to evolve into friendship between them. When they finally broke the kiss, Angel helped her up from his lap and handed her back toward Spike, who stood up and had stepped forward to accept the hand of the woman they both loved, from his sire. Spike had known this was going to happen and as much as he didn’t want Buffy to kiss Angel, much less in front of him, they both knew this was necessary. Willow and Giles looked uncomfortable. Dawn had just looked curious. “Ah, did we miss something there?” Giles asked in a very puzzled voice. Buffy was sitting back down into the circle of Spike’s embrace next to her sister as she chucked a bit herself. “Yeah Giles, you did. But it’s ok. The three of us understood what just happened and it’s all ok.” “Oh, more of that arcane vampire stuff I’d just as soon not know about, correct?” Giles asked a bit relieved. Angel, Buffy and Spike all shared a look as they laughed. “I just said goodbye to the relationship that Buffy and I once had and gave her to my childe with my blessing, Giles.” There was a sad, serious note that echoed under the lighter tone in the older vampire’s voice. Giles and Willow both understood that it had been a difficult and painful thing for all three of them to do. “That brings us to the rest of this. I’ve asked Spike to move in with me as of tonight, Giles. Not as a house mate, but as my mate.” Buffy told her watcher. Her voice was serious and he heard the fear of rejection under her simple words. “Buffy. If Spike is the, ah, man you want and can be happy with.. That’s what I want. Your happiness.” Giles turned his gaze to the vampire next to HIS slayer. “But if you ever go back to your previous ways …..” The watcher left the threat hanging in the air. “Don’t worry. I won’t. I’ve given her my word as myself and as a Master Vampire. Kinda like if Red there gave her Witch’s Word. ‘S not something that either of us would ever break.” Spike told the older man as he looked at Willow for conformation of his words. “He’s right, Giles. That’s not something I’d ever break.. Bad icky stuff to break that.” Willow shivered just a bit to even think about the consequences. “About the rest of all of this, Buffy..” Giles started into the remaining issues at large.. **************************************** It had finally been close to noon before they had all gotten talked out. Angel and Spike had both eaten. Spike had called Willy and between he and Buffy and Angel, Willy had shown up with food for both vampires and all four humans. Dawn had gone back to bed right after she ate, around 8 am. Angel went up to Joyce’s room to sleep, Buffy and Spike went to her room to sleep. Giles had taken Willow home on his way. Buffy was laying facing Spike, their arms wrapped around each other. “As much as I want you, Spike, that wouldn’t be fair with Angel just a few feet away. Besides, I’m really, really tired.” “I know you are, luv. It’s been a long night for all of us. I’m pretty knackered as well right now. Besides, you’re right. Regardless of any other arguments Peaches and I have, wouldn’t be fair at all. Won’t do to him what Angelus did to me.” Spike remembered how badly it had hurt to hear Angelus and Druscilla. Buffy kissed him hard and very thoroughly until they were both gasping afterwards. “Bloody Hell woman! Keep that up and I’ll never get any sleep!” Spike hissed at her. “Just the one to go to sleep on, love. We have other nights and mornings and afternoons. Besides, isn’t this our usual luck? First time we’re in bed together and can’t do a thing..” Buffy teased him. Spike leaned into her and licked a long line down her neck, hovering over the large pulse in her throat. He could feel the warmth of her blood just beneath the skin; feel the beat of it slightly out of harmony with the beat of her heart as his arms were wrapped around her just below her breasts. He was drowning in the scent and taste of her in the air as he whispered into her neck. “That all changes in about 12 hours. Count on it, kitten.” “Oh trust me. I am.” Buffy told him, her voice husky with passion as they closed their eyes and tried to sleep. Gillian Silverlight 5/1/01 |