Title: Cogito Ergo Sum (1/1)

Series/Sequel: Third in the Vows Series, Sequel to Bittersweet

Author: Vivid Rain

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Lex uses something like syllogistic logic to come to some rather obvious conclusions.

Disclaimer: I don't own them. I borrow them for nefarious purposes.

Feedback: Cherished for ever and always.

Important Note: I never stated when Vows took place. It's alternative universe that begins in the winter of Clark's junior year of high school (So Damn Delicate) and is followed by Bittersweet which takes place in the summer after his junior year. Cogito Ergo Sum is a day in the fall of Clark's senior year.

Lex didn't remember if he had always thought logically or if was yet another thing that his father had embedded in him with numerous lectures and actions. Doesn't really matter which it is because it does help to organize his plans. Everything is logical. Everything is clear cut. Everything is black and white.

He snorted to himself.

The sun was slanting warmly through the window and the autumn cold was tearing at the leaves. His office was a pleasant enough place to work, most of the time. Why shouldn't it be? If he had to work here, then it should be a place he didn't mind being in for long uncomfortable hours.

Logic.

The papers in front of him could wait another ten minutes, he decided. Time for a break. With a full bodied stretch, he rose from the plush leather chair and winced as his shoulder cracked with an audible pop. A leisurely stroll to the couch which he drapes himself over with a resounding thud as he falls. Clark has been attempting to teach him the art of leisure, but Lex thinks he might actually know more about it then his cornfeed lover.

A yawn cracked his jaw resoundingly and he had to shake his head to clear the dizziness afterwards. The sound of the alarm at four had awoken both of them and after Clark had vacated the bed, Lex hadn't been able to fall back asleep. The bed seemed too large without another body and maybe he should buy a dog or something for the nights that Clark can't be here.

Clark. Lex shivered at his own weakness, wishing the brown eyed beauty to his side as he thought of that hard body against his in the rapidly cooling Kansas air that poured though his window. The summer had passed and their time went back to the odd hours of the evening and occasional grabbed afternoons when Clark's alibis worked out just right. No soap opera discoveries for them, if Lex could help it. The question at hand now is what there is to discover. Of course, it's obvious that he and Clark are engaged in an extremely sexual relationship for the past ten months, three weeks and four days, but what the hell did that mean?

Lex had always been an admirer of Descartes. The man got right to the heart of the matter: start by doubting everything. Though Lex probably doesn't have to back to the complete basics, he mentally wipes clean the slate of everything he knows about Clark, casts it all into doubt. Rebuilds a step at time with things that he's sure of.

It is given that:

Fact 1: Clark exists.

Fact 2: Clark is not human.

Fact 3: There are only three people aware of Fact 2: his parents and me.

Fact 4: Clark would only tell someone he trusts about Fact 2.

Conclusion:

Fact 5: Clark must trust his parents.

Fact 6: Clark must trust me.

All right. Not much to start with, but Lex plowed on.

It is given:

Fact 7: Clark has sex with me on a regular basis.

Fact 8: Clark has never had sex with anyone besides me.

Fact 9: Since engaging in sex with Clark, I haven't had sex with anyone else.

Conclusion:

Fact 10: Clark and I are engaged in a monogamous relationship.

That was a first, Lex realized belatedly. His other relationships had technically never been closed though there were times when he was satiated with one partner. Pleased with his line of thinking, he continued, shifting his weight on the couch and kicking off his shoes.

Fact 11: Clark lies to his parents about us.

Fact 12: Clark hates lying to his parents.

Conclusion:

Fact 13: Eventually, Clark will tell them.

Given:

Fact 14: Clark has to work at concealing our relationship.

Fact 15: I have to work at concealing our relationship.

Conclusion:

Fact 16: We have a relationship we both find to be worth working on.

It really wasn't anything that hadn't crossed his mind before. So why did it feel like a revelation? Was it that he was having these thoughts without Clark being right there?

Given:

Fact 17: I think about Clark all the time.

Fact 18: I miss him when he isn't with me.

Fact 19: I hate thinking that he will eventually leave me.

Fact 20: Clark is my weak spot.

Fact 21: I'd let Clark tell his parents about us.

Fact 22: We don't have to have sex to have a good time.

Conclusion:

Fact 23:

No. He is not going to do this to himself. Not again. It's to painful to believe that he can let this happen to himself. To be screwed over by someone that he cares for. But does he really have a choice? Lex has a very loose concept of religion. Doesn't much care for it or hold much stock in it, but he does believe in destiny and his is going to be pretty spectacular. No matter what he has to do to attain it.

So what if he was supposed to come to this hick town and meet the strange alien boy with the melting brown eyes? Does that mean, that maybe, he was entitled to something deeper then beautiful hot cars and playboy mansions? Did he, after all, deserve some human kindness?

Maybe. And maybe not. Either way it didn't matter. Fact 23 stood strong.

Final Conclusion:

Fact 23: I'm in love with Clark.

It washed over his mind like a ravaging storm. It stirred up self-doubt, anger, fear and all sorts of unpleasant memories. Made him want to run back to Metropolis right now and never look back. And yet...

He loved Clark. He hadn't loved someone in such a very long time. Didn't trust enough as he had thought that he hadn't trusted Clark enough. But as he traced through the last year or so, he found a strange pattern. Every single time he had vowed never to reveal something to Clark, he wound up telling him. Later rather then sooner to be sure, but eventually he had come clean about everything he did.

There weren't as many secrets protecting him as he thought. At some point, his armor had rusted and broken off. Clark Kent was embedded under his skin and nothing could stop that. Leaving now would only be a painful tearing for both of them. And he had always known that Clark would fight to keep him.

So the real question of the day was how does Clark feel?

Only one way to find out.

Ask.

The couch seemed to hot suddenly and rose in one fluid gesture, contemplating working out or at least stretching before returning to work. Decided against it and settled back into his leather throne. Typed busily on the screen.

*

Senior year was boring, Clark decided, shifting in the too small hard chair of his math class. Lana was gone, leaving behind a small hole in his life that he could neither explain or fill. He had given up on her a long time before, but his mind would roam back to her every so often without provocation. Besides her absence, nothing else seemed to have changed. Chloe was as vehement as ever, forever off on a story lead. More often then not now, she left him out of it unless it came to the point of physical violence. At which point he would charge in like a knight in scruffy flannel. That's how Lex described it anyway.

He and Pete still hung out for lack of anyone else, though they had long since realized that they weren't as close as they had thought. There simply was no one else to talk too. His classes weren't hard and he wasn't going to pretend they were. There was a looser feeling to this last year of high school as if nothing mattered nearly as much as it had before and that he could do whatever he liked and not have to suffer the consequences.

And for Clark Kent to not care about consequences was a major step.

He decided to blame it on Lex, even though the man probably had nothing to do with it.

The bell rang at last, liberating him from math and school for the day. Neatly, he avoided Pete in the hallway. He really didn't have any desire to see a movie or hang out in the other boy's room and stare at the ceiling while they scrambled for topic or wait for Chloe to get a grip on reality and come make their lives interesting.

Not that he could do much of anything else. With school back in session, his parents were tracking his activities much more closely and expected him to be places at exact times. The freedom of the summer had definitely left him. This time taking more then just long lazy hours.

The summer heat had left along with the simplicity of being with Lex. It was as if school had complicated things, though it was more then that. The somber halls of the high school reminded Clark that things weren't simple. He was leaving in a year for college and he knew that before he left, he was going to come clean to his parents about his relationship. Didn't know when, but it had to be before next summer. It would be too easy to fall into a pattern of lies that bound him in some ways, closer to Lex, but farther from his parents.

Wondered how Lex would feel about that. Then remember he had some news to tell him anyway. Speed over to the creepy castle on the hill that was undecidedly a second home to him now as weird as it was.

Found Lex concentrated at his desk, pouring over reports with a look of intense thought on his handsome face. Trying not to disturb the other man, Clark sank into the couch and pulled from his bag his math assignment, working through the problems. He could only stay a half-hour or so, but he was willing to wait a few minutes.

It turned out to be exactly one minute and ten seconds, before Lex looked up at him, a slight smile curled on his face.

"Hello, Clark."

"Lex."

"What brings you here, so early?"

"Uh...actually...my parents are going away next month. For three days. And I have to stay back to keep up with the farm. Because of what happened...before, they're going to call in every other hour to make sure that I'm there. So....I guess...uh.." He had tried to figure out how to words this, wondering how someone he had been with for nearly a year could still turn him into a completely tongue tied kid by looking at him with interest. "Do you want to spend the weekend at my house?"

A flicker of surprise and a slow smile.

"I think I can pencil you in." Lex said seriously, flipping through his agenda book.

"You're an asshole." Clark shot back, rising from the couch to sit on the edge of Lex's desk, careful not to mutilate any papers, but to land precisely on the agenda book. "There. I'm in."

"Well, technically, you're *on*, but I think you've made your point."

"Can I kiss you now?"

"I would be seriously offended if you didn't."

Their lips met in a tight lock and Lex just let his arms slid around the firm, warm body that he loved.

Given:

Fact 24: Clark tastes like peanut butter and jelly.

Fact 25: Clark and I are going to spend a weekend alone.

Conclusion:

Fact 26: We're going to have a serious talk over that weekend.