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RENÉE'S AMAZING TOP TIPS
FOR AMERICAN STUDENTS OF GERMAN

Here's me on my first day off the plane to Vienna.
Two days later I used my worthless 'German in 30 Days' book as firewood.


School recommendations


1. Don't bother trying to learn a bunch of German if you're just going to Germany or Austria for a two week vacation. Everyone will want to speak English with you anyway. Really. Almost everyone here speaks 'a little' English, which is guaranteed to be more than the amount of German you can learn in a week off a CD-Rom.


2. If you actually really want to learn German, the best and fastest way to learn is to put yourself in a situation where you MUST learn it. I.E. go to Germany or Austria and don't just hang out with Americans at McDonald's the whole time. You must party at McDonald's with your new German or Austrian friends, instead. Maybe the best start would be a two-week intensive summer course in Berlin right before the Love Parade (which might be compared to a Gay Pride Parade, but it's more like Everything and Its Mother Pride Parade). If you can't find friends, tell everyone that you live in New York City and your brother is the singer in a band and his apartment is always empty.

Listen, I know everyone always says GO TO THE COUNTRY if you want to learn the language. I didn't take them seriously either. Now, however, I would take that a step further, and say: don't bother starting until you're in the country of your chosen language. Exhibit A: After 8 years of learning Spanish in California, I could speak tolerably well, but only because I made a point of hanging out with Spanish speakers and not due to school. Still I couldn't understand jokes or express anything complicated. I achieved, and passed over, that same level of speaking German after about 6 months of study in Austria. Save up your money and go for 6 months and take classes, and you will speak better than 8 years of classes in your home country.


3. 3 is the magic number. Find some activity that requires you to be around 3 or more native speakers. (Preferably an activity you enjoy). I learned to play the Austrian card game Tarock. English speakers always complain that no one wants to speak anything but English with them-- this is only true when the number of German speakers is two or less. Three or more German speakers, and the language automatically switches to German. At first you will not understand one single word because it will sound like everyone is talking with oatmeal in their mouths. Just let it flow over you, let your subconscious do its thing, and one day they will all spit out the oatmeal and ask you to join their secret club.


4. Stop trying to pass as a native! STOP IT! No one is ever going to be fooled into thinking you are anything other than a foreigner. The only people who manage to acquire an accent-free second language do so before the age of 12. At best and if you try really hard, German speakers might think you're from somewhere other than America. The sooner you relax your perfectionism and just start blabbing away in terrible German, the more and quicker you will learn. Remember: language is about communicating ideas from one human to another. As long as the idea gets across, you're doing great!!


5.Stop trying to understand every single word everybody says. When you initially come to a foreign country, you will be dependent on whoever's available to translate. I remember the first few months I would get impatient and annoyed when people around me spoke German and nobody bothered to translate for me. Now, of course that IS considered rude, but people do it anyway, and here's why: most of what is said is not worth translating. It isn't important, it isn't interesting, so just let it go. If you want proof, pretend you have to translate an ordinary discussion with one of your friends for a foreigner. You will quickly realize that most of it is less than newsworthy.

Of course, there will also be a lot of in-between times, when you know enough to understand the gist of the conversation, but not enough to get the jokes. All I can say about that is, you won't earn your triumphs without discomfort.


6. The best pronunciation tip anyone ever gave me was, "Don't say the er's." And it's true. If you just talk without American R's, your pronunciation will instantly improve. ('R' is usually replaced by 'ah') So how do you say the word, 'Fahrt' ? (Every American's favorite word to start with.) You say it, 'Faht.' What about 'tapfer'? 'tahpfah.' Or 'klar'? 'klaah'. (Keep in mind, this is only a first approximation.) As for r's in other places, as in 'Versprechen', let's just say that's an advanced level and you should ask a native speaker.


7. If you're going to guess about gender, (der, die, oder das) your best bet percentage-wise is to go with masculine (der). Nobody will be fooled if you try to cheat by saying 'da' all the time-- I have personally tested it for you.


8. For god's sakes don't try to learn German without taking a class. This IS particle physics. A little sweat over the grammar will go a looooong way.

The classes aren't ALL sweat. Here are members of Hannelore Scattolin's February 2003 class from the Wiener Hochschule: Front Row: Anastasia (Russia), Monika (Poland), Hannelore, Anna (Sweden). Second Row: Me, Simona (Romania), Lilia (Ukraine), Tanja (Croatia), Idania (Mexico), Jessica (Cameroon).


9.And here are some grammar tips.

It is MOST IMPORTANT to realize that the 4 cases (Nominativ, Akkusativ, Dativ, Genitiv) AND the genders (der, die, oder das) lie at the root of EVERY SINGLE GERMAN SENTENCE YOU WILL EVER SAY OR WRITE.

(I did not realize that at the beginning and was a little confused on those points.) DON'T be lazy about the cases. If you hate them, learn Japanese instead, which has no cases --but has about 270 forms of politeness to make up for it.

Finer points for those advanced students:

1) Most sentences use the Akkusativ and Dativ cases. The only time you use Nominativ is when you could instead put an = sign between the words: The grass = green, Nominativ. (Das Gras ist grün) He = a nice young man, Nominativ. (Er ist ein netter Bursch.) Most of the time, you've got to use Akkusativ or Dativ. Okay, okay, and occasionally Genitiv.

2) Many, many times the Dativ case is used instead of where we would say 'for you', 'for me', 'to you', etc. Example: Ich gebe es dir. I give it to you. Another example: Er hat es ihnen leicht gemacht. He has made it easy for them. A most useful example: Mir ist das zu viel. That is too much for me. This is NOT a universal rule for Dativ, rather it's something that helped me understand its use in some cases.


10. Sie oder du? Yuck! Picking whether to say Sie or Du is a pain. Du is gaining prominence and is now more used than Sie, no matter what your textbook says. (Sie is not 'cool'). A rule of thumb could be, under 40, say du. Over 40, say Sie unless it's a friend of a friend. Walk into a music store, say du, walk into a bank, say Sie: like that. Also, remember that they will know you're a foreigner and will generally forgive any faux pas. The one exception is old ladies in fur coats carrying small dogs. With them you had better say, 'Sie' or you may get whacked with an expensive handbag.

One useful phrase that works for everybody is the expression 'Wie geht's?' Because it can mean either 'Wie geht es dir?' (How are you? informal) or 'Wie geht es Ihnen?' (formal.) So if you're feeling non-commital you can use that one and wait and let them break the ice. But don't put it off forever... if feel yorself remaining silent rather than choose, you're waiting too long.


11. Reading is a great aid to remembering new words. Find something you LIKE to read, not something you think you SHOULD read. Do you like muscle magazines or romance novels? They exist in German! I myself find 'Krimis' or mysteries are great, because they're usually short and not too difficult, (Ingrid Noll's books are a good start) I started out on comic books-- there are about 1000 different 'Lustiges Taschenbuch' comic books for sale in every bookstore and newsstand, featuring old Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck comics translated into German. These are great because you can get some of the meaning from the pictures. But even the kind of magazines you find in the doctor's office will offer you a wealth of new vocabulary.

Newspapers and radio are not so good for beginners-- they have their own special vocabulary and use a lot of abbreviations and political words. I know an English couple who tuned into Austrian radio every day and just let it run on, on the same theory of osmosis as the student who sleeps with a book under his head. It didn't work. Television is a little better, especially dubbed American movies and TV series may be helpful if you already know the plot.

Advertising slogans are a GREAT help-- they are designed to make you remember, and have pictures for associating. I have learned many words and phrases from slogans on billboards. It's a lot more fun than looking it up in a dictionary for the hundredth time.


12. Don't take what people tell you too seriously. Each person has his or her own special ideas about language-- and depending on the region you're in, the 'official' rules will differ drastically. One person will tell you nonono, it must be this way and another will tell you the opposite. Don't get stuck thinking you must memorize every correction you receive. Just keep your ears open, express yourself as best you can, and relax. And each time you make a foolish mistake and everybody laughs, you can thank your lucky stars, because there's no better way to remember something than to have a bit of embarassment drill that neural pathway deep!


13. If you want someone to correct you during conversation, talk to them about it. (Not everyone enjoys doing this.) If you get stuck talking to a person who insists on correcting every other word because they want to 'help', and you are not in the mood, tell them not to correct you. You can say something like, 'Heute möchte ich einfach sprechen, korregieren Sie mich bitte nicht mehr.'

Learning a new language is very trying. You will get tired of it and you will need a rest from time to time. Let your feelings guide you. And when you feel that you can't take it anymore and you'll never speak German, remember that that is the best sign that you are almost there. Buy yourself a coffee und MACH WEITER!!



When all else fails, have a party.

Good luck everybody!

Renée Albe


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