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4 February, 2003

For the past month I have not rode my bicycle, the cold, weather-ridden streets are too mean for that sort of locomotion. Instead, I have ridden the tram. Let me tell you, it is addictive. Now that the weather is drying up a bit I find myself reluctant to go back to the bike. When you step out into the chill, the sky a thin grey blanket overhead, it is immensely comforting to see the single headlamp of the tram come screeching around the corner, all light and heat and that odd Viennese flavor of dingy comfort. The seats are wood and warm from the last passenger. There's no one to take your ticket; it is all done on the honor system (although I have been 'raided' a few times by ticket takers who hand out hefty fees to people who haven't paid, called 'Schwarze Reiter', Black Riders.) There's a little machine called an Entwerter that stamps your ticket and makes a sound like 'Bim!' therefore the tram is affectionately known as the Bim. On the tram and the U-Bahn (subway) you can relax and read a book instead of battling traffic. This is the part that makes it so difficult to go back to the bike, since it usually takes awhile for my blood pressure to get back to normal after a bike ride. If I encounter a taxi it takes three times as long. Unfortunately my stomach is starting to stick out from all the Viennese breakfasts I've been eating, (Kipferl! Kaffeetorte! Kardinalschnitte!) (there's a recipe at www.oocities.org/spinsnit) so I must go back to the bike soon. But it's so nice to be lazy and slip into a warm cozy tram. Maybe I'll buy a ticket for just one more month. It could snow hard again at any minute!

The streets are a big fur parade here, with both women and men sporting enormous Davy Crockett style caps (no tail though) and swaying carpets of ferret, fox, seal, chinchilla, bear, wolverine and god knows what else. You name it, they shot it. The wierd thing is there's a certain age below which only kept women wear fur, everyone else is wearing puffy ski parkas with zippers in the armpits. So perhaps it's a fad that will slowly die out. Or maybe, when I turn forty I'll suddenly see the logic, maybe it's a midlife crisis, an urge to be a cavewoman again. Although I haven't seen anyone trying to light any campfires in the U-bahn lately, perhaps I should try it.

Right now is school holidays from the Akademie, next week I will start an Intensiv Deutschkurs that should be three weeks of pure Hölle. I'm going to learn in three weeks what we normally learn in nine. Hmm. Still, it will give me something to do, which is important in this weather. Mein Deutsch ist immer besser, (My German is getting better), I can actually have small conversations although I discovered I can't yet read kindergarten-level books without a dictionary. Sigh. All I can think is to take my pencil and charge forward like a crazywoman.



Vienna Responds!! (by Laurenz Brein):

My dear!
Again I cannot refrain from weeding out some small mistakes in this witty exposée:
> system (although I have been 'raided' a few times by
> ticket takers who hand out hefty fees to people who haven't paid, called 'Schwarze Reiter', Black
> Riders.)

Actually they are called 'Schwarzkappler' - 'black cappers', and I have never heard of a 'Schwarzen Reiter' before.

> There's a little machine called an Entwerter that
> stamps your ticket and makes a sound like 'Bim!'
> therefore the tram is affectionately known as the
> Bim.

'Bim' is a fairly recent word, not older than a few decades, an refers to the sound the trams used to make instead of honking. You can still witness it in the older trams: the driver has a foot pedal with which he can ring a bell. If he does it gently, the tram produces a tender 'bim', as ineffective as a bicycle bell. However, when the drivers are angry (usually because a car is blocking the rails), they would hit the bell real hard, which sounds more like 'punk'.

> important in this weather. Mein Deutsch ist immer
> besser, (My German is getting better),

This German sentence actually means 'my German is always better'; what you wanted to say is, 'Mein Deutsch wird immer besser.'

Waving the raised index finger,
Laurenz