The Autograph Connection: Random Thoughts May 2003

Random Thoughts & Autograph Experiences
May 2003

Open Letter to Josh Hamilton

Josh,

Greetings to you up in North Carolina. I do hope your parents are doing well (I’m sure they’re reading my letter before you will get a chance to read this, so “Hello” to Mrs. Hamilton and Mr. Hamilton). I hope you’re enjoying the fishing at this time of year and maybe you’ve had a chance to watch a minor league game or two.

First off, I want to apologize to you for putting an undue amount of stress on you for the last few seasons. You see, I began to believe everything I read about you in the newspapers and every year when Baseball America came out with their annual top prospects report. Because of the media-hype, I told everyone that ever made fun of me for living in the Tampa Bay Devil Rays market that the Devil Rays could be competitive in the next few seasons (excuse me, I will refer to them as the “Rays” as to not offend you in case you have the Russ Johnson malady). I feel that by telling everyone about what a great player you would become, I added to the pressure you were already feeling, considering that Carl Crawford and Rocco Baldelli were handed starting positions while Lou asked you to toil in Double-A.

Maybe I missed the signs. When you reported to Training Camp, I told everyone that you looked “great.” That was my codename for “way too many tattoos.” I passed that off as way too much free time in the off-season and maybe you began to have a penchant for Blink 182 or Tommy Lee. I forget sometimes that even heroes may also have heroes.

When you left training camp, I hoped that the six weeks away from baseball would exorcise any demons you may have had. Then, on May 6th, I made my first visit to an Orlando Rays game and saw you out practicing before that game. You told us that you hoped to be activated by the weekend. With anticipation, I checked the boxscores that weekend to see your name next to the likes of Matt Diaz and Jonny Gomes. But, no Josh Hamilton in the boxscore. A few days later, the ambigious press release by the Rays was posted that said you’d be taking the rest of the year off to handle personal issues.

We want answers. Everyone is speculating about your issues. Is it a drug related issue? And, if it is drugs, is it an addiction to painkillers, to steroids, to Bolivian Marching Powder, or did the ink from all those tattoos poison your bloodstream? Did you get someone knocked up? Is it depression? End the speculation so that we don’t have to rely on hearsay. End the speculation so that next Spring Training, everyone and their dog isn’t coming up to you and asking, “So, Josh, what the heck happened to your 2003 season?”

If you found it hard to get back on the field in May after your six week vacation from baseball, you will find it even harder to get back next season. Baseball fans don’t forget, especially when you talk about first round draft picks. People still bring up the names Brien Taylor and Shawn Abner with regularity, remembering the misfortunes of those who never lived up to their potential. Pessimistic Rays fans would love nothing better than to exploit your foils and point even more of their fingers at Lamar and the rest of the front office for selecting you in the draft. However, there are many of us out there that want nothing better than to see you launch those mammoth home runs and showcasing your five tool ability.

So, Josh, let us know what’s wrong. Please. That way, we put a stop to the mindless nonsense floating around on the Internet about what kind of meltdown you’ve encountered. Maybe we can be more understanding and more welcoming when you put on your knee high socks next year.

That way we can concentrate once again on those players who chose to play during the 2003 season.

Best regards,

A Rays fan

The COA Debate

I marvel at how many bogus autographed items are out on the Internet. When I do get emails from perspective buyers of the items I sell on this site, I completely understand that they may question the authenticity of the autograph. If they question my credibility, my suggestion is to have them look around on the site and determine whether or not I'm legit.

A few people have asked me if I'll issue them a Certificate of Authenticity, or a "COA," with their purchase or trade. I used to send along a COA a few years ago when I belonged to the UACC. One of the UACC membership rules required that a member issued a COA with any autograph the member sold. When I decided not to renew my membership two years ago (too expensive and not enough benefits for the money, in my opinion), I also decided to no longer issue a COA with the autographs I sold. Case in point...take a look at this COA for a Tiger Woods golfball being issued on eBay:

That, my friends, is professionalism at its finest.

So, how do you protect yourself from getting duped or ripped off? There is no surefire way but here’s a few suggestions:

1. Buy from a reputable seller. EBay Feedback doesn't always tell you the full story. Did the seller detail how they got the autograph? What other items are they selling? If they are only selling Kobe Bryants, Michael Jordans, and Mike Piazzas, there is a good chance that the autograph is a big fat fake. No one is that lucky, not even the best dealers.

2. Don't always trust the "in-person photos" you see that accompany some auctions or web sites. Pictures are also, in my mind, a big sham. If they have a photo of somebody signing for them, are they using the same photo for every item signed by that player? Photos of the person signing are only good when they're selling a high end item, like a uniform or 16 X 20. If the seller is truly just a collector, it's doubtful that they would have brought along their Kodak camera to take a picture of the guys signing. Plus, most athletes get pissed if you try to take their picture signing your item and most dealers don't want to risk getting nailed by the player and ruining their chances for the next time.

3. Remember that a COA is just a piece of paper. It is not a legal contract that could ever hold up in a court of law. Do not rely solely on the COA as proving that the item is legitimate. When I think of COAs as being a guarantee of the autograph’s authenticity, I would like to reiterate the immortal words of Chris Farley in Tommy Boy:

"Look, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time."

4. Use the resources out there to get the autograph yourself. There are shows out there (many are too expensive), celebrity signings, and charity events galore. Though I occassionally trade or buy an autograph, I personally like to get the autographs myself in person. That’s the reason why I still don’t have Tiger Woods or Jerry Rice in my collection. There are too many bogus ones out there and one day I hope to meet both in person and get their autograph. Hopefully I can get Tiger’s autograph someday…he does only live 5 miles from house!

5. Don’t be afraid to ask the seller questions. Ask the seller questions like “Where did you get the autograph signed?” and “What if I don’t like the autographed item? Can I return it for a refund?” Granted, keep the questions educated and please don’t ask if the Ervin Johnson card you’re selling for $3 is MAGIC Johnson. If the seller doesn’t respond, or is snippy with their response, you pretty much have your answer.

Have any questions or comments? Send them to me at the_autographer@hotmail.com or post your response at the Yahoo Group if you're a member.

This Month’s “Shut Your Piehole”

This section is dedicated to the athlete or coach who makes a complete idiot of himself by the words spewed out of his mouth. This month’s candidates include Phoenix Suns’ coach, Frank Johnson. "Game 6 is ours," he said. With that guarantee, the Suns went out and lost game 6 to the Spurs, allowing the Spurs to advance to the second round.

In-Person Autographing

Busy night for autographing. First went to the Orlando Rays and split early to head over to the ESPN Club where Atlanta Falcons (formerly Buffalo Bills) WR Peerless Price was a guest. Got a nice photo signed by Peerless. Here's my haul from the game:
Rays: Josh Hamilton-4
Felix Escalona-3
Chairon Isenia-1
Jonny Gomes-3
Jace Brewer-1
Mudcats: Miguel Cabrera-2 (kind of shy but nice)
Steve Kent-2
Dontrelle Willis-photo and 3 cards
Drew Niles-1
Matt Padgett-1
Chris Aguila-1
Josh Wilson-1
Randy Messenger-1
Pat Magness-1
Billy Hall-4
Brandon Harper-1
Ryan Snare-2
Was ignored by Chip Ambres. Donnie Bridges said he'd sign after the game but I couldn't stick around that long because of the Peerless Price signing.

May 29th:After a monthlong hiatus, I decided to head out to Disney for another fun filled night of Southern League baseball. Me and the other 200 people there at Cracker Jack Stadium had a blast. Wasn't planning on going but Minor just got called up to Double A (that sounds weird) and I needed him for a set I'm doing so I went.

Here's my scant haul (1 a piece unless indicated):

Rays: Doug Waechter & Pete LaForest
Suns: Gookie Dawkins-4 (and raised his batting average to .136)
Tarrik Brock
Reggie Abercrombie
Ryan Minor-3
Mike Collins
Nick Alvarez
Brennan King
Jason Repko
Victor Diaz
Derek Michaelis
Edwin Jackson

Both teams took their time coming out of the dugouts for stretching which made it difficult to do well. Matt White was in the stands but I'd already packed up most of my cards since I'm moving into my house next week. Ryan Minor was totally cool and chatted for a few minutes about making the transition to being a pitcher. I told him that the move worked for Kieschnick and he said that was a big reason why he decided to try pitching.

This month's mailbox

Seth Gresinger: Tigers minor league pitcher and former top draft pick for Detroit (also a part of Team USA in '96). Had some injury problems and is currently at Toledo. Signed 2/2 cards.

Joey Waters: "Jumpin' Joey" was a big part of the Tacoma Stars in the MISL in the mid 80s. The Englishman stayed in Tacoma and is currently the soccer coach at Bellarmine Prep. Signed 1 custom index card (kept one at my request).

Frank Tanana: signed 3/2 cards (he provided a Bible card) and was nice enough to fill out my questionairre regarding the 1977 season (for the book I'm writing).

Mark Holzemer: 2/2 index cards. Mark briefly pitched for the M's along with the Angels. Recently retired from baseball after spending last season in Tucson.

Bert Heffernan: Catcher for the Mariners. Kept one of my index cards but signed the other. I also love his last name, being the last name of the King of Queens’ Doug Heffernan. Ironically enough, both live in New York!

Final Thoughts

Got my airline tickets for a return home to the great city of Seattle this summer. I get to take the family to Safeco for the first time since I moved away when they were building the stadium. It will be weird driving into downtown and not seeing the Kingdome.

I really believe I'm a sick individual. I actually miss the Kingdome. Oh well...I always have Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg.