Awards Ceremony
So.......awards. At the end of every season, regardless of the past years performance, teams have awards ceremonies. It is the one time of the year where the whole team can get together as one and reflect on the year over soggy Vol-Au-Vents, Cheese and Pineapple on sticks and shrivelled minature sausages at which point the obligatory 'this is your cock' joke can be made whilst rabidly waggling the aforementioned pork product in the face of your unsuspecting victim. But what is the point of awards ceremonies? Is it just a chance to make the team spastic feel better? Is it a chance to heap yet more glory on the gangly striker? Or is it just a time when thoroughly pointless and undeserved prizes are given out? Well, that is exactly the format the Lemons inaugural prize-giving will take. Seamlessly mixed in with the 'real' awards will be a series of completely pointless awards which serve no purpose at all. While I'm not on the subject, why do people say "There can only be one winner." No shit Captain Obvious. Care to make any more blindingly obvious statements? THE AWARDS Best Goalkeeper. Ever. Award - Dave King (Brilliant.I win an award.) The 'Nah,You're Alright Mate, We've Got Enough Players This Week' Award - Rich Top Goalscorer Award - Simon Kearney The 'Ever Present Teachers Pet' Award - Charlie Mattinson Patronising 'Most Improved Player' Award - Simon Kearney The 'Goal Isn't By The Corner Flag' Award For Poor Finishing - Scott Catling The 'Get Your Full Weight Behind It Son' Award For Rapier Like Shooting - Adam Fenwick