1. Chewing cotton - feels nasty against my teeth
2. Frogs and toads - just wrong.Horrible, slimy and bad.
3. Forks scraping against a plate - same effect as fingers down a blackboard. Only worse.
4. Paper cuts - the single most painful thing to happen to anyone.
5. Jobsworths - c'mon, don't stick so solidly to your job, it's not everything.
6. Dressing up smart - I just don't do it.
7. Overly happy people - give it a rest.Everything is not great all of the time
8. Cutting my toenails - just plain don't like doing it
9. Fat people - stop moaning that you are fat. The reason you are fat is because you shove cake in your face.
10. Getting food stuck in my teeth - it won't be moved without me bleeding.
11. Overly black people in films - not all black people are stereotypes movie peeps.They aren't all gangstas, rappers or figures of fun.
12. New kids tv - just rubbish.It's hardly of the quality of Rainbow or Mysterious Cities of Gold.
13. Duffel coats - even hated them when i was little and had no sense of style.
14. Council estate kids - smelly and disrespectful
15. Camping - no fun at all.Why pay to go through such hell!?
16. People with caravans - all smell of sour milk and wear cardigans
17. Skalextric - the best toy ever but mine never worked
18. Falling over and trying to hide it - you just cant without looking a total twat
19. British people on holiday - give our country a bad name with their stupid antics
20. Skanky tattoos - ones with a bird carrying a banner with 'Sharon' written on it, in front of a heart.Cheap, nasty and unoriginal
21. Spliffy + Fresh Nation clothes from ages ago - They were rubbish
22. People from other countries forcing their beliefs onto us - you are not from here, you have no right to try and dictate how we are allowed to live.
23. Those new mint strips - horrible mouth experience guaranteed
24. Suits - businessmen with their head firmly up their own arses.
25. People who dress their pets up - Er...why?They aren't real people.
26. People who wear 'Mum' necklaces from Argos + think it's the pinnacle of fashion - Errrr........it ain't
27. Same as above but with the 1/2 heart necklaces - Dean wears one half, Tracy wears the other half and because of that they will be together forever.Mmmm Hmmmm.
28. Queuing - I get far too impatient waiting for other idiots and their boring irrelevant questions.
29. People who slurp - DRINK IT PROPERLY!!
30. Insurance Ad's - "Have you ever been turned down for a loan?"No.Fuck off.
31. Orange skins not coming off - No one likes that white stuff
32. Walking into a room and forgetting why you are there - but you know you'll remember as soon as you walk out.
33. Comic Relief/Children In Need - I don't need some self righteous minor celeb telling me there's no food in Africa.Especially you Dawn French.You are the reason for starvation,poverty and all of the rest of the worlds problems.
34. Everyone becoming Irish on St Patricks Day - People who have listened to Boyzone or seen a picture of the Blarney Stone just 'become' Irish and mince round in a comedy oversized Guinness hat.Do you do anything for St Georges Day though?No.Twats.
35. Sequels - Has there ever been a sequel thats better than the original?
36. Political Correctness - Why?Whats the point of it?Some people may be offended at things i say but there is humour in other cultures/disabled people/my friends/myself.Just because something is deemed un-PC doesn't stop it from being funny and shouldn't make it a taboo subject.
37. Having to wear a pinny in Technology - I am not, repeat, not a housewife.I do not appreciate being told to girl-up in a pinny.
38. Smugness - Overly pleased with themselves people are wrong.
39. People With Lazy Eyes - Are you looking at me or the chair in the corner?Make your mind up.
40. Old Relatives Who Say 'My,Haven't You Grown?' - No I haven't, you've just shrunk.Midget.
41. Midgets - A bit creepy.
42. Clowns - Not funny.And who are these people?Surely by the age of 12 you should have grown out of your 'I want to be a clown when I'm older' phase yet some clowns are over 12.Tragic.
43. Manuals - I don't want to read 143 pages on how to work it,I have no patience.Make me a concise version.
44. Baby Photos - Why are there always semi-naked ones of you in the sink having a bath?Or is it just me?!
45. People Who Spit When They Talk - Whats wrong with speaking properly?I don't want to drink your mouth juices thanks.
46. Speedos - Eeeeewwwww. Just as bad as wearing a pair of Y-fronts swimming.Or maybe worse. I haven't decided yet.Wear SHORTS.SWIMMING SHORTS!
47. Being Cool - Costs too much, looks boring.
48. Local Characters - It's nothing to be proud of being referred to as a 'local character.' You are the sort of person that parents warn their kids about because you smell of cabbage and your own excrement because all you eat is cabbage. Then you shit yourself. Well, everyone needs a gimmick.
49. Computers - Far too smug for a machine. It is always your fault when something goes wrong and makes that stupid 'Ta-Da' noise when you turn it on. Why? You've done nothing yet computer,I turned you on.I am your master.
50. Talented Children - Why do they always have a look of self-satisfaction about them? The kind of look that says 'Even though I'm far younger than you,I'm still more talented than you'll ever be.' This may be true but I won't be a burnt out, crack addicted, bankrupt, teen parent at the age of 14 now will I?
51. The Cost Of CD's - I imagine that I keep CD shops in Sheffield in business. Yes I am an arse for buying them in the first place and yes I should invest in a CD Burner but why are CD's so much?
52. People - People generally are idiots. There are exceptions but the general public irritate me due to gross stupidity on a far too frequent basis.
53. Scientists - The sort of people who could and should be doing so much good for the world. However a great deal seem to spend their time doing things like this:
The British Dental journal did a complete, scientific, in depth, scholary, study on the 'chemical stain removing properties of whitening toothpaste'
Er....why? Get a proper job or start doing something useful that doesn't waste time/money and may actually benefit people.
54. The Crossing The Road Run - The run you do when a car is approaching and you feel the need to hurry up a bit. Sadly the road isn't sufficiently wide to get a proper run going so you end up doing a few steps of nearly running before you reach the other side, looking a bit stupid in the process.
55. Christmas - I love everything about Christmas but have serious issues that all shops start putting out their Christmas stock on October 1st. I don't want to see Santa's fat face before December 1st.
56. Tomatoes/ Bananas - They do bad things in my mouth and make me feel physically sick, As do any food types with a questionable texture.
57. Hairdressers - If I want a conversation I shall initiate one. Otherwise shut up and cut my hair and don't dare make inane 'holiday' related comments.
58. Hospitals - Smell of death mixed with TCP. Probably because people die there..............and they use TCP.