Home boy
Hmmm....well I guess this is what boredom does to you.I thought it'd be a great idea to look on the Google Image Search for pictures of people who share my name.Sounds like a great idea.But isn't.These people who claim to be me are hardly the cream of society.They mainly consist of a bunch of reprobates with odd shaped heads.And probably quite dubious professions.I have no idea who these people actually are or what they do so I'm going to make up lives for them which may or may not be true.So,without further ado lets explore the sinister world of people who claim to be me.But aren't.
WOW!!I appear to be an African with a small hat, strumming a geetar.Check out my excessively camp pose, with my legs crossed. I imagine that I am playing Kum-By-Ya or hammering out some tribal rhythms. For my brothers.I do have the look of a kids tv presenter about me as well with my bright red shirt complemented with the tight chinos.And hat.
Well,whaddya know!!I'm an old man who sits alone in a room full of paperwork. Probably letters from the police telling me to stop harassing women through general stalker-ish behaviour.The trees outside indicate that I have shacked myself up in a wooden cabin, hidden deep inside a very dense forest that no-one will be able to find.Apart from the local amateurish police who view me as an exccentric local character. But I'm more than that.Much more.Oh yes.Mwah Ha haaaaaaaaa!!
CRAZY COOL!!I work for the YMCA, probably dressing up as an Indian,Cowboy,Police Officer or Sailor in my spare time.Love the tightly knitted jumper clearly made with some sheeps wool.I imagine that I knitted it myself.Really though, someone who works in the YMCA is doing themselves no favours by wearing a polo neck.The rosy cheeks suggests that I have just come back from pleasuring a small boy or have just performed a hi-tempo version of 'In The Navy.' To some old people.My eyes are more than a bit scary as well, with one eye slightly closed, is that a knowing wink or merely a birth defect?
Check dis out!!!!!I'm a FUTURE OLYMPIAN!!! Sadly I also appear to be a woman.From Romania.That is if the headings are above the respective people.And if I'm not a malnourished pixie from Eastern Europe I'm a polo neck sporting, greasy haired simp.Who has a thing for grey faced, dowdy haired, heavily accented, drawn out eyed foreigners.Surely being a FUTURE OLYMPIAN I could have done better than her.And have more taste than to wear such a fruity top. There does appear to be something of a horiffic pattern developing on the fashion front.
Wiggidy Wiggidy Wiggidy Whack!!Hey look kids,I'm clearly in a police line up.And I have an extraordinarily large neck.Clearly I was an extra in some 1940's Western films playing a small boy who rushed out of his house to see the cowboys ride past at which point I ripped off my stetson and waved it in the air in celebration of seeing some cowboys. Sadly after that major part my career went downhill, being forced to make walk-on appearances on 'Home Improvements' and appearing on 'After They Were Famous' in which they detail my downward spiral to a life of crime culminating in assault on little boys.Hence the reason i'm looking decidedly sheepish in this photo.
Bone-on!!!Look at my mackrel!!!And my beard!!And trendy way of wearing my sunglasses!!And my rednecks cap!!I really do epitomise the type of slack-javed yokel seen throughout America.I have probably been wearing that t-shirt for about 3 months and those jeans for about 6 months because everyone knows that you dont have to wash jeans as often. I'm just off home to the trailerpark to drink moonshine and beat up my wife.Because I'm a man.Grrr.
AWIGHT!!!Here is Dave King.He's FAMOUS!!He is the lead singer with Irish punksters FLOGGING MOLLY!! YEAH!!He rocks!!Go out and buy his music!It's even better than B*Witched and pisses all over Buffalo G!!Amazing but true!!And someone famous shares my name.I'm positively excited.Mission over.