Usual disclaimers apply.

Dialogue (R)
By Periwinkle

“It’s about time you got here. What happened? Your shoelace break?”

“I don’t know why you’re complaining, Illya, I’m rescuing you aren’t I?”

“I would have preferred to be rescued yesterday.”

“I’m sure you would, but I was, um, occupied yesterday.”

“Occupied? Occupied! The occupation better not have been called ‘Angelique’”

“Of course not. You know I only have eyes for you.”

“Then will you use them and get me out of here?”

“Oh, I’m using them all right. Did you realize that you are naked?”

“That doesn’t even deserve an answer.”

“I like that look on you. Naked, chained to the wall, only one part free to move…”

“Napoleon!”

“You have an objection?”

“Other than that we are in a cell, my wrists hurt, we don’t have any lubrication, I can’t get my hands on any part of you, and I definitely mean ‘any,’ and you are wearing entirely too many clothes?”

“Hmm.”

“Hmm?”

“Hmm.”

“Would you care to explain that statement, Napoleon?”

“I just realized you’re completely right.”

“Of course.”

“There is definitely something to be said for rescuing you and taking you back to my place for tender loving care.”

“I think the thing to be said is that 'I love you Pasha'.”

Illya was out of the chains in moments.