by Periwinkle
Written for the Gibbs/Ducky Challnenge 19 "Seven Virtues"
Over the years Gibbs figured that between him and Ducky they had probably covered all of the Seven Holy Virtues. Of course, if you asked Gibbs he also would have said that Ducky exemplified the Virtues while Gibbs had illustrated the Holy Virtues by being an example of someone who didn’t follow them. If pressed, he would have readily admitted that he was the one who had done the Seven Deadly Sins and Ducky was the virtuous one. Ducky, of course, would have disagreed. However, Ducky was biased – he was never as hard on Gibbs as Gibbs was.
It had been one of those days. The team had been out on a case and Gibbs had been snapping at his team for not moving at super-human speed. So much for Temperance and maybe even Charity. The team had done a great example of Prudence, moving out his line of sight as quickly as possible. Now Gibbs was riding in the passenger seat of Ducky’s Morgan, trying not to compress his lips at Ducky’s driving. (Fortitude? he thought.) If Gibbs had been driving they would have gotten to his house long ago and Gibbs would already be down in his basement sanding the boat, drinking his bourbon. On the other hand, maybe not. If they got to Gibbs’ house and Ducky was able to come in for a while the whole agenda changed. Gibbs found himself hoping that Ducky was able to stay. He needed Ducky tonight; needed to feel Ducky’s arms around him, Ducky’s voice in his ear absolving him of his sins, filling him with his goodnesss.
They pulled into Gibbs' driveway. Gibbs shook himself out of his self-absorption and looked at Ducky. The ME looked tired and there were little lines in his face. Ducky rarely looked his age, but tonight he was looking close to it as he stared out the windshield, obviously waiting for Gibbs to get moving.
“I’m sorry, Duck. Didn’t realize how long a day it had been for you. Should have gotten someone else to drive me home,” Gibbs said guiltily, watching the early moon shine its light across Ducky’s hair. For a moment, Gibbs could see gold in Ducky’s hair, reminding him of the young doctor he had fallen in love with. “I shouldn’t rely on you so much. There are other people who could have assisted me.”
“Don’t you dare, Jethro,” Ducky said with an edge to his voice, still staring ahead, sitting rigidly. “Don’t you dare think of having someone else take you home, unless you don’t want to be with me anymore.”
Looking at Ducky again, the way his lips were pressed tightly together, the shoulders held tightly, Gibbs realized that Ducky was scared. Gibbs was never good with words and he could tell that this time he had managed to give Ducky the impression that he wanted to break up. Why had he mentioned that there were other people? Mentally head slapping himself, Gibbs turned to Ducky and laid a hand on his shoulder, shaking it slightly. “Duck, look at me.”
Ducky continued to stare ahead at nothing, ignoring Gibbs.
“Duck, turn around,” and Gibbs, now taking both of Ducky’s shoulders and turning the older man to face him. “I only said that because I love you and could see you were tired. Don’t ever think I don’t want to be with you. You know, I had been hoping, until I realized how tired you were, that you would spend the night with me but I didn’t want to be selfish.”
That remark finally caused Ducky to look into Gibbs’ eyes. “Suggesting I come in and sleep because I’m tired is being selfish?” There was a slight upturning of the corner of Ducky’s mouth as if he was fighting a smile. Relief flooded Gibbs; he would be forgiven once again. Looking out at the stars, he thanked whoever watched over fools and agents for giving him someone with an endless capacity for forgiveness. Ducky’s charity was something he didn’t deserve and he knew it.
“Then you’ll come in with me?”
“Of course, Jethro. After the way you acted today I think you and I should relax for a while and let you decompress, or your team may murder you tomorrow.”
“As long as they don’t poison my coffee. That would be cruel.” Gibbs got out of the car, crossed over to Ducky and helped the older man to stand up, favoring his bad leg. Wrapping his arm around Ducky’s shoulder he guided him into the house, sat him down on the couch, hung up his coat and asked “Tea or Bourbon?”
“Your bourbon? You’d better give me tea for the sake of my liver.”
The men sat quietly on the couch for a few minutes, sipping their respective drinks and just enjoying the feeling of being together. Only one light was turned on, casting a soft glow in the immediate area around it, while the rest of the room remained in shadow, but a comfortable darkness that allowed them to relax. Finally, Ducky broke the silence by asking quietly “What’s been bothering you today, Jethro?”
“Dunno, Duck. I’ve been on edge for a few days. Remember the case last week with the little girl where I was so determined to get that bastard that killed her?”
“And you did, Jethro.”
“But I couldn’t save the kid.”
“I don’t think anyone could have. You’re not omniscient.”
“I lost perspective, Duck. The case became everything and I drove my team unmercifully. I’m amazed they didn’t quit.”
“They understand you, dearest. Probably better than you do yourself.”
Gibbs looked at Ducky, sadness showing for a moment on his face. Only Ducky ever saw Gibbs have emotions, as Gibbs usually kept himself bound up tight. His team would have been surprised to see this softer side of him.
Now that Gibbs was finally talking, he seemed to want to continue to the end. “That’s not what’s bothering me. It’s that I told myself I’d be better, that I’d ease up, and then today I was terrible to my team again.”
“And that’s the problem? You’re flaying yourself and wearing a hairshirt because you didn’t suddenly become perfect?” He reached up with his hand, stroking Gibbs’ cheek and running his thumb up to the corner of Gibbs’ eye. Leaning in, Ducky brushed a soft kiss across Gibbs’ lips.
Gibbs gave Ducky a rueful grin. “It sounds a little different when you say it like that.”
Ducky shook a finger at him, “So you weren’t patient today. It’s not as if you broke one of the Seven Deadly Sins. Focus on what you did right -- instead of being driven, you had fortitude. You were working for justice and the team understands that.” He brushed another kiss across Gibbs’ lips. ‘Let’s go lie down on the bed. We can talk there.”
So they went up to the stairs, undressed and laid down together in the bed, arms wrapped around each other. Discussion didn’t come because sleep overtook them, but in the warmth of Ducky’s body and his love, Gibbs found his absolution.