Wild Turkey and Pizza (PG-13 for suggestive language)
Part 3 of the Moderators Series
By Periwinkle

A/N This chapter IS meant to be in honor of Cathy McG, who labored so hard on the newsletter before going on leave. I’m a little late posting it. The prompts were 1) Wild Turkey and 2) Pizza.

Gibbs stormed into the lab, which was where his team had congregated before starting work that morning. They were sitting around saying “Good morning” to each other and sipping their caffeine of choice. Abby was already on her third Caf-Pow; Gibbs had a cup of coffee in each hand and that morning’s newsletter under his arm. He slammed his coffees down, threw the newsletter at the desk and then, seeing Jen approaching, decided to make a quick run to the Men’s room. He slammed the door so hard in the Director’s face that he almost caught the hair on the right side of her head in the doorjamb, just after the poodle-cut had finally grown out and Jen was starting to look like a Director instead of Tim’s Grandmother. All the ladies Tim knew in Florida, although slightly older than Jen, had bright orange hair in a fuzzy curly cut the way she had had at the beginning of last year.

“Someone got out on the wrong side of the door today,” Ziva commented. Tim, Tony and Abby looked at each other and then decided to let that one go. Unfortunately, Jimmy was also there and he was too young and earnest to overlook gaffes like that. “It’s bed, um, Agent David,” he pointed out, turning slightly red on the ears.

“Where’s the bed?” Ziva replied, looking around.

“No, you, um, I mean Agent Gibbs, got out of bed this morning.”

Ziva turned abruptly on Jimmy. “I do not sleep with Agent Gibbs!”

The team decided that Jimmy was just going to get deeper and deeper into the hole he was digging and so they moved over to Autopsy to get out of the war zone, Tony snatching up the newsletter on the way.

“Ah, Anthony, my dear boy,” Ducky greeted them. “And Ziva and Timothy. I see you’re reading the newsletter.”

“Well, actually, Ducky, we hadn’t gotten as far as reading it yet,” Tony said. “We just came over to say ‘hello’.”

“Why, how nice of you!” Ducky exclaimed. “And I see you brought my dear Abigail with you” and he gave her a hug. A close hug. “Have you noticed anything about the newsletter lately?”

“Oh, yeah,” said Tony. “Based on her icon, I want to meet this Rainsquall chick.”

Ziva looked at him. “You realize she lives on a different continent? It’s not like you can just bump into her.” She added under her breath "For which she should be very grateful."

“Oh, I have my ways,” Tony replied.

“And Meredith is back,” Tim added. “She’s really good at organizing and coming up with practical suggestions.”

“Anyone new?” asked Ducky, idly stirring his tea.

”Well, Nix is doing it now,” Ziva replied.

“Nix? Oh I love Nix! Why once when I was a young man, Nix and I went over to invite my partner out for a drink and he was naked in the bed, lying on his stomach, and…” Ducky suddenly cleared his throat and sat down so that the table was covering his lap. The team looked at each other, disappointed. That story had sounded like one they would have liked to have heard, based on the way Ducky kept shifting in his chair and crossing his legs. Tony tried to get a peek under the table, but Ducky had dropped a file in his lap, hiding all relevant clues.

"So, Duckman," Abby said, noticing his cheeks were starting to flush a little and taking pity on him. "What did you do last night? Anything, um, interesting?"

"Not last night," Ducky said. "I had to stay home with mother. We ordered a pizza because I was too tired to cook."

"I thought she couldn't have solid food," Tim said.

"She can't. All her meals go in a food grinder. In the future, I'm going to have to make sure that she doesn't order black olives and anchovies on her pizzas. Do you know what color that ends up being when it's all ground together?"

Everyone took a moment to digest that, so to speak. The universal reaction was "yuck" so Ziva decided to change the subject. "So what caused the shift in the newsletter editors?"

"Cathy went on leave," Tim said. “She's got more important things to do right now than worry about us."

"That's too bad for NCIS," Abby said. "She took good care of us. But I'm happy for her..." and Abby started bouncing on her toes.

Ducky opened his desk drawer and got out a bottle of Wild Turkey. "Let's make a toast to her. I always thought she was really sweet."

Tim went for the paper cups, just as Gibbs slammed in through the doors, new coffees in hand. "Better make them really stiff, Duck." Gibbs said. "We've got a doozie of a problem."

Everyone stopped dead where they were and turned to look at Gibbs, waiting for the other shoe to drop, but he was busy slamming back a couple fingers of the booze followed by a cup of coffee in one gulp. Then he continued, "Remember how we found Periwinkle stabbed with five pens and you said she was past hope? Um, Duck, you were wrong. She's back.'

"What!" said the team and then they reached as one person for the booze.

A/N Nix’s story is a Man From U.N.C.L.E. one, Dirty Laundry, which her summary calls "Shameless Porn." I have no shame – I love the story.

Part 4 - Getting Rid of Periwinkle

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