So you ask
yourself:
Is it because light travels faster than sound why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
It's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow. How cold will it be?
Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
Why do banks charge you an "insufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have any?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
Why do they call it the Department of the Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of asteroids?
Why is it called tourist season if you can't shoot them?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole plane made out of the stuff?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?
Computer test...
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing
argument about who was better on his computer. They
had been going at it for days, and God was tired of
hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said,
"Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run
two hours and I will judge who does the
better job." So down Satan and Jesus sat at the keyboards
and typed away.
They moused.
They did spreadsheets.
They wrote reports.
They sent faxes.
They sent e-mail.
They sent out e-mail with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did some genealogy reports.
They made cards.
They did every known job.
But ten minutes before their time was up,
lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder
rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every
curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just
sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on,
and each of them restarted their computers.
Satan started searching frantically, screaming
It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when
the power went out!" Meanwhile, Jesus quietly
started printing out all of his files from the past
two hours. Satan observed this and became irate.
"Wait! He cheated, how did he do it?"
God shrugged and said, "Jesus saves."
Thanks Arthur Debi
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