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| You humans can't seem to get enough of your own stupidity, so I'll dish out more for you. Again, here are some product warnings that just HAD to be printed. Try not to laugh too hard.... or cry... |
| On a bottle of shampoo for dogs - "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." (So.... It's ok to feed it to everything else?) On a pair of shin guards - "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." (And here I thought humans were finally making technological advances!) On a hair dryer - "Do not use in the shower" (Well, not unless you want the wet and dead look.) On a container of underarm deodorant - "Do not spray in eyes" (But they get so sweaty!) On Holmes bathroom heater - "This product is not to be used in bathrooms." (.... I demand my money back.) On a butcher knife - "Please keep out of children." (OUT? Uh oh....) On a toilet bowl cleaning brush - "Do not use orally." (Animals!! All of you!) On a can of self-defense pepper spray - "May irritate eyes." (...May? Crime is about to skyrocket.) On a can of air freshener - "For use by trained personnel only." (Ok, here's your training course. Point toward offensive odor and press button. Graduation is tomorrow.) On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror - "Remember, objects in mirror are actually behind you." (The sad part is some humans still get confused...) Posted on a Boeing 757 - "Fragile. Do not drop." (Bad news for the pilot taking it to war tomorrow...) On a portable stroller - "Caution - Remove infant before folding for storage." (.... Uh oh... Anyone seen Trunks?!) On a bag of grapes - "Store in the cold section of the refrigerator." (.... Maybe refrigerators are more complex than I thought...) On a sign at a railroad station - "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." (Go ahead. I don't think my DEAD body will mind being in jail!) On a hospital's outside access door - "This door is alarmed from 7:00pm-7:00am" (Not even a jail is THAT strict!) On a milk crate - "Theft of this container is a crime." (Anyone bored enough to steal a milk crate would probably be thrilled to take a trip to prison.) On the dash board of a mail truck - "Look before driving." (Idiots that need to be told that shouldn't be driving or allowed to be a functioning member of society.) On a battery - "Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." (Can I at least look at it?) On an electric cattle prod - "For use on animals only." (Oh good! Then using this on Kakarotto isn't illegal afterall! ... But it's not like that would have stopped me.) Microwave manual - "Do not use for drying pets." (.......Why not?) On a laser pointer - "Do not look into laser with remaining eye." (Guess you should read the instuctions BEFORE you do something stupid, ne?) On a coffee cup - "Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" (Yeah... And two plus two is five!) Heated seat cushion manual - "Warning - Do not use on eyes." (Is that even possible?) On a curling iron - "For external use only!" (You humans are either really dumb, or really kinky...) On a dash board sunshield - "Do not drive with sunshield in place." (But it makes it more of a challenge!!) |