Anti-Converse Pledge

I, _____________________, hereby pledge to never buy Converse Allstars. I also pledge to never wear Converse Allstars.
I hereby acknowledge that Converse Chuck Taylor Allstars may infact be comfortable, cool looking, and or inexpensive but I will not give into their evil.
I will never be persuaded to wear the afore mentioned shoes and I will never support the wearing of said shoes by my friends or family.
If my friends and/or family decide to wear this type of shoe, I will still maintain my relationship with them, but I will occasionally try to ween them from their unhealthy addiction to Converse. I agree to randomly tell them that their shoes either
a. look stupid with their outfit,
b. are too big/small,
c. I saw Britney Spears or other stupid pop star wearing the same ones,
d. tell them that their Converse ran away to be with their friends when they come up missing,
e. Anything else deemed appropriate.

Signed,


_________________________ on this date of ___________________________