Written By:
Amy, Lady_Renee, Loui, Dayblaze, Liz, CadetDru, Juliette, Kathryn Burns
Eye of Clarity, Goth Angel of Chaos, vez

"You're looking for who?" General George Hammond asked Jacob Carter.

"A Goa'uld who impersonates Santa Claus," Jacob answered.

"What a Gou'uld who impersonating Santa Claus?" replied the General.

"We know how ridiculous this must sound but it's true," Jacob replied and he looked at all
the members of SG-1, as did Martouf. They were all about to bust out laughing.

Keeping a straight face, Jack O'Neill said, "Whose presents did he not deliver?"

With Jack's wise crack, all the human members of SG-1 including General Hammond lost
it. Only Teal'c did not laugh as he looked to each of his human friends, not understanding
the Tau'ri sense of humor once again.

When the laughter finally died down and everyone sort of had their composure back,
Martouf continued for Jacob.

"This Goa'uld who impersonates your Santa Claus is quite insane."

"What's his name?" Daniel asked.

"The Goa'uld's name is Niko'las."

Daniel blinked. "As in, 'Jolly Old Saint Nicolas'?"

Martouf looked at Jacob, clearly puzzled as Jacob nodded a yes to Daniel's question.
"There's hardly anything jolly about Niko'las. He maybe insane but he's still dangerous."

"How so?" Sam asked.

"Apparently before he left the Systems Lords, Niko'las hoarded a great supply of Nish'ta,"
Martouf said.

"Oh that brings back memories!" Jack quipped.

"Also, Niko'las has forced all of his Jaffa to take on the appearances of...what are they
called again, Jacob?" Martouf asked, turning to his fellow Tok'ra.

"Elves."

"Yes, thank you, Jacob. Niko'las has forced his Jaffa to take on the roles of your Santa's
elves."

"You're not serious," Sam said.

"Oh aren't we."

"Oh meeting with those Jaffa is going to be a fun trip," Jack replied.

General Hammond cleared his throat. "All right, people, we've had our share of laughter
but this Niko'las is obviously a very serious threat or the Tok'ra wouldn't have contacted
us. Let's try to get this briefing back to business. Jacob?"

"So true my friend." as Jacob shifts his focus to General Hammond.

"Well then let's get on with the breifing" says Jack as he tries to get more serious about
the issue.

"What about reindeer?" Sam said, laughing despite her best efforts still.

"Niko'las has named nine of his ships," Martouf said.

"Nine?" Jack repeated. "There's supposed to be eight."

"The ninth is red and glows," Jacob said.

"Ahhh, Rudolph."

"Exactly," Jacob said, almost laughing with his daughter.

"Now, why does this Goa'uld have the Tok'ra so worried?" Daniel asked.

Jacob Carter took that one. "Rudolph the red-nosed.... spaceship..."

"Had a very shiny nose?" Jack finished.

"A shiny nose that killed many of the Tok'ra and Jaffa."

"Bad Rudolph."

"Indeed. It gets worse," Martouf said. "Several days ago, one of our operatives
discovered a plan in which Niko'las is planning to topple the System Lords."

"So what else is new?"

"If Nik'olas succeeds in toppling the system lords," Jacob intoned, "everyone will get a
                    lump of coal for Christmas."

"A lump of coal, well that's certainly a gift to be ever so excited about" replies Jack.

"Colonel." General Hammond glared at him.

                    Jack shrugged. "Sorry, sir, but this is one time I can't possibly take a Goa'uld seriously."

                    "You never do, Jack," Daniel said.

                    With that, Jacob and Martouf's heads bowed. When they looked back up, their symbiotes
                    were staring back at SG-1.

"Do not underestimate the threat that Niko'las poses," Selmak said.

"We won't," Daniel said before Jack could say anything.

Lantesh nodded and one of the Tok'ra guards stepped forward to lay a small holographic
                    device on the table. The same kind that Jacob had used before when he came to seek
                    their help in hunting Seth down.

                    He activated it and a hologram of a world in the midst of winter appeared. . .

"David Duchovny!"

Once again all eyes were on Jack O'Neill. Jack smiled sheepishly, shrugged and sat back
                    in his seat.

                    "Please continue, Selmak, Lantesh," Hammond said.

                    The Tok'ra nodded. . .

Selmak continued. "This is Bal Norilus, home of Niko'las. As you can see it is a world that
                    is in its 10th month of winter."

"Ten months of winter? That's a bummer," Jack said. "I'd move to Tahiti."

Sam placed her hand over Jack's mouth. "You were saying?" she prompted Selmak.

"Because of the long winters," Selmak explained, "coal is a most valuable resource. One
                    would think that the goa'uld had better power sources, but surprisingly Nik'olas uses it
                    almost exclusively."

Jack mumbled something under Sam's hand.

                    Selmak let Jacob take over the body once more. "I can guess what Colonel O'Neill's
                    thinking, about Niko'las going with tradition.... I'm sure you can let him speak now,
                    Sammy."
 

                    "If coal's such a valuable resource," Daniel asked, "why would he give it away?"

                    "He'll only be giving it to everyone for Christmas if he succeeds in killing all the system
                    lords," Jacob reminded him. "If he wins, he'll have the resources to heat his home without
                    coal."
 

"And then he'd come after us," Daniel said.

                    "And the Tok'ra," Jacob said. "We have to stop him."

                    Jack briefly struggled with Sam to remove her hand from his mouth. "So we're on Niko'las' naughty list too, huh?"

The briefing finally ended a few minutes after that. SG-1 prepared to head for the planet
                    of Niko'las, where they'd meet a team of specially trained Tok'ra to access the home of
                    Niko'las and then they'd all take it out together...

As they waited for the gate to be opened, Daniel finally decided to tell them what the
                    name of Niko'las' homeworld meant in English.

                    "Bal Norilus means North Pole. . ."

                    And Daniel saw the glint in Jack's eyes. . .

"As in the cold cold cold cold place where he makes toys for the little girls and boys?"
                    Jack asked sarcastically, "Well, Joy to the World."

At this the gate opened. "SG-1, you have a go. Good luck."

"Let's go," Jack said and they started, forwarded. He disappeared first in the event horizon, followed by Teal'c, Sam, and finally Daniel who was just pulling his parka's hood on, tying it tightly.

They emerged though at the other side and Jack looked around at the peaceful white landscape.

"Sweet."

Jack uttered a loud "HEY!!!" as a snowball hit him in the face. He looked up to see Teal'c
                    looking very pleased with himself. "Why'd you do that?" Teal'c responded, "Daniel Jackson was informing me of the customs associated with . . ."

Jack looked at Daniel who was looking like the proverbial cat who swallowed the canary.
                    There was also a smirk on Daniel's face as he started walking towards the rendevouz
                    point where the Tok'ra would meet them.

          "Sir?"

                    "Yeah, Carter?"

                    "We'd better make to the rendevouz point before dark because Dad told me they're
                    expecting a blizzrd to hit just after the sun goes down."

                    "All right let's move then. Teal'c, you take point."

Teal'c nailed Jack with one more snowball before he started to walk to get ahead of
                    Daniel.

                    "When this is over, remind me to have an all out snowball fight with them, Carter."

                    "Yes, sir."

Jack suddenly tripped over something, "What the . . .?" he began, then stopped in shock
                    when he realized what he'd tripped over. "A Christmas present?????"

"Careful, sir. It could be a Goa'uld booby trap," Sam said coming back. She knelt on the
                    ground beside Jack who was busy studying the little box wrapped in shiny red paper and
                    was off with a green bow. Jack picked it up despite Carter's cringing.

                    "What the-"

                    "What?" Sam asked.

                    "It says 'To Jack'. 'From Santa'."

"You're kidding!" Sam said, as Jack rolled his eyes.

                    "Nope, I'm not," he handed her the name tag. "This is starting to get freaky!"

                    "Sir, this looks like Daniel's handwriting," Sam observed.

                    They then heard laughter from nearby. . .

Jack yelled "DANIEL!!!!!!!!"
 

                    Daniel laughed so hard that tears rolled down his face. "I'm...s-sorry, Jack. I just couldn't
                    resist."

                    Jack rolled his eyes. "Can we PLEASE all try be a little more professional?" He began to
                    walk again towards Teal'c who had stopped on a snow bank ahead.

                    "What's eating him?" Daniel said.

"I do not believe that any creatures are attempting to consume O'Neill, DanielJackson."

"No, I meant- Nevermind. Let's go catch up to Jack," Daniel said, passing Teal'c. It was
                    clear now that Jack was going to take point. Raising an eyebrow, Teal'c followed his
                    strange human friends over the snowbanks...

There were no more incidents and bearly a word was spoken between the members of
                    SG-1. Jack was clearly in a foul mood and just before they reached the rendevouz point,
                    Daniel decided to talk to him.

                    "Jack? Can I talk to you?"

                    "I guess," came Jack's weary reply.

                    "Did I do something wrong back there? I mean usually you have a better sense of humor
                    than that," Daniel said.

                    Jack stopped and faced him. . .

"I'm sorry about snapping your head off back there. You're right, I do usually have a
                    better sense of humor than that. It's just that this whole thing with Niko'las has made
                    some painful memories of Charlie resurface."

"Oh."

                    There was an awkward silence between them. Jack rarely said anything about his son
                    because Daniel knew it was just too painful for him to think about him. He knew it had to
                    be painful because of his recent loss of Sha're.

                    They walked in silence until Jack stopped.

                    "We're here."

"Whatever gave you that idea, Jack?" asked Daniel with a sarcastic smirk.

                    Grinning, Jack placed a hand on the other man's shoulder, saying, "Oh, I don't know...
                    the building with the glowing lights, Xmas decorations and an actual,
                    honest-to-goodness candy cane tree?"

                    "Oh, yeah... well, if you're gonna state the obvious..."

"Do we want to go in?"

                    "You first, Danny boy."

                    "Oh, I couldn't---"

                    "SIR!" Carter cried. Rudolph the red-nosed spaceship had a very shiny nose that was
                    firing. The SG-1 team ducked.

Daniel dove for cover, four years of reflexes honed by hazardous Gate journeys kicking in
                    to action.

                    He found himself sheltering behind the candy cane tree. Assuming we live through this,
                    this is gonna be a fun report to write!

                    Then he noticed Jack. His best friend was sprawled on the ground, unmoving.

                    Without hesitation, Daniel scurried out from cover and began dragging towards the scant
                    shelter of the tree...

                    The Rudolph Space Ship wheeled round for another strafing run...

....knocking down the candy cane tree.

"Where the heck are the Tok'ra?" Daniel heard Sam say as she helped him to Jack to the
                    safety of the trees. Teal'c had taken a defensive position of watching Rudolph but he
                    was also watching for the first signs of Jaffa...

Suddenly, they heard this soft little jingling coming from somewhere in the trees. Sam
                    called Teal'c back over as Daniel tried to wake Jack up. Teal'c laid his staff on the
                    ground and took out his zat, aiming it at the area where the jingling was coming from. . .

                    "Don't shoot! I am not a Jaffa!" the intruder said as he appeared. He was dressed head
                    to foot as an elf.

                    "Prove it!"

                    A Goa'uld voice responded. "Do you not recognize me? I am Aldwin of the Tok'ra-- or
                    rather that is my host's name!"

Sam could only stare at the elvin version of Aldwin in shock and amusement as she said,
                    "Oh...my...God."

                    Behind her, someone bagan laughing uncontrollably...

Teal'c threw a snowball at Daniel to make him stop.

                    "That is it," Sam yelled. "We're all going to go to a team building class when we go back
                    to earth, okay?!"

"Gee, Sam!" Daniel exclaimed as he wiped off the snow from his face.

                    Sam looked at Aldwin. "Why the heck are we acting silly all of a sudden?"

"While some of us are being a Grinch!" Daniel quipped, causing Teal'c to stare at him
                    questioningly.

                    "DanielJackson, what is sort of creature is this 'Grinch'?"

"Jim Carrey."

"Um, I'll tell you about the Grinch & Jim Carrey back at the SGC, it'd take too long now."

                    Daniel's eyes widened as a thought took root in his silliness-addled brain.

                    "Sam... Could there be something in the air that's making us do silly things? You know, a
                    kind of 'silly-Nishta'?"

                    "Silly-Nishta?" she said doubtfully...

"It could be possible DanielJackson," Teal'c allowed. "I've seen Nishtas elicit many kinds
                    of reactions."

                    "And it would explain why I want to build a fort...."
 

                    About this moment, Aldwin took out some sort of wristbands. And he handed one to
                    each member of SG-1.

                    "What are these?" Sam asked.

                    "These bands will help to clear your mind of the effects of what Niko'las calls
                    Kres'mus'shee or your-"

                    "Christmas spirit," Daniel finished.

                    "Precisely. Someone will need to put one on Colonel O'Neill as well," Aldwin said.

                    "Put one what on me?"

"Colonel, you're awake!" Carter said.

                    "Yeah. Someone want to tell me what's going on?" Jack asked as Aldwin handed him a
                    wristband. "And where did you come from?" he asked Aldwin.

                    "Please, Colonel, put on the wristband and I will explain then," Aldwin said.

                    SG-1 complied and slipped the bands on. They all exclaimed in pain as the bands sent a
                    small elecrtic jolt through their bodies.

                    "Your heads will clear soon," Aldwin said.

                    "They already are. Now where's the rest of the Tok'ra team?"

                    "Right here, Colonel," Aldwin said. "Tok'ra kree!"

Jack O'Neill blinked and shook his head. Partly in an effort to clear it of the last effects of
                    the jolt that the wristbands had given them and partly because he didn't believe his
                    eyes.

                    The Tok'ra team looked like a SWAT team and Santa's elves got stuck in a blender and
                    come out a little mixed.

                    In a display of classic O'Neill sarcastic drawl, he said, "All right, which of you lost the bet that forced you to wear that?!"

The leader of the team looked at Aldwin. "Perhaps the wristbands have not cleared the
                    effects of the Nishta as hoped."

                    "Anise gave me her assurances that it would."

                    "Anise again......Sweet."

Jack mentally reviewed what was going on around him. Rudolph the red-nosed space
                    ship... SillyNishta-blocking wrist-bands....

                    "So, seriously, who lost the bet?"

Daniel shook his head as the Tok'ra team leader stepped forward to introduce in each
                    member of the assault team.

                    "...And I am called Lau'rus," he said, the symbiote clearly speaking.

                    "Okay, so I guess you guys ain't gonna tell me who lost the bet."

Aldwin spoke, "So that you will not immediately be recognized, you must dress
                    appropriately. We brought along some extra outfits of ours."

                    Jack did a doubletake.

"I don't think so! Only when Hades freezes over will you catch me dead in one of those-"

                    "Jack, I think General Hammond told us to fully cooperate with the Tok'ra," Daniel said,
                    taking his elf disguise from one of the Tok'ra.

                    "He did order us to do so, O'Neill," Teal'c confirmed.

                    Jack looked to Carter, his look saying rescue me please. "Sorry, sir, but the General did
                    order us to cooperate."

                    "Thanks, Carter, I knew you'd back me up on this one."

Sam smiled and shrugged. Jack held up the outfit the Tok'ra gave him.

                    "Not only is this outfit ugly but it's HONKIN' ugly!"

"Why in the worlds must we dress up like freakin' ELVES, for God's sake. And green
                    TIGHTS, are you people insane?" Jack was definitely not having a fun time.