1. You can jump start your car without using cables

2. You can run your car of the coffee you drink

3. Whenever the Goa’uld try to destroy Earth, it isn’t a big deal. When you run out of coffee it is

4. People comment that you drink mud... which you do

5. You have a sacred shrine dedicated to coffee

6. On first reports of a major snowstorm, you go out and buy coffee.

7. For the Y2K, you stocked up on coffee, water, milk and sugar, then drank it all before the night was over.

8. Your idea of an overdose is 30 cups of coffee.

9. People wonder where you get so much energy

10. Your friend’s wonder when you don’t drink 20 cups of coffee then cart you off to the infirmary.

11. You get there you ask the doctor if you can have a caffeine IV

12. Life, to you, is one big coffee bean. Crunchy, tastes good, and when it’s gone you want some more.

13. It takes too long to grind coffee beans so you just chew them yourself.

14. Coffee is another food group... that requires more than ten cups a day.

15. When speaking to foreign species, you offer coffee as a peace gift.

16. Life isn’t complete without coffee.

17. You grow your own coffee beans, and refuse to share them with anybody.

18. You request in your will that you want to be buried with a dozen cans of coffee so you can take them to the afterlife.

19. Your former odd theories include coffee beans, hieroglyphics, and the introduction of a worldwide coffee drinking festival

20. Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil

21. You can ski uphill

22. You name you pet ‘Maxwell’ (coffee company)

23. You keep up a conversation with the fastest speaker in the world

24. You finish your work on time.

25. Workers at the coffee shop know your life, what you do for a living and what you’re going to order.

26. You think the greatest archeological find is an 1000 year old coffee bean encased in fossilized rock

27. You wrote your own song entitled: “I’m a coffee bean in a can” (reference to the Christina Agulaira song: ‘I’m a genie in a bottle’)

28. You win the Daytona 500 on a tricycle.

29. Your favorite book is called ‘Maxwell and the Giant Coffee Bean’.

30. You own a collection of coffee beans from around the world.

31. You wrote a 400 page dictionary that has to do with coffee

32. You own a webring/webpage dedicated to coffee

33. You have a coffee design in your office

34. You have a coffee museum

35. You start to call your coffee ‘Honey’ and forget you have a wife

36. You start stealing coffee from friends, coworkers and teammates... even the General

37. Your suggestion to defeating an enemy race is sending them decafe coffee

38. Add sour milk and cream (refer to #37) and to top it off, you replace the sugar with salt.

39. You consider coffee more addicting than the sarchopagus

40. You theorize that coffee might be the addictive property in the sarcophagus

41. You memorize all the coffee commercial jingles

42. (add on to #41) you force your coworkers to sing along

43. You develop a bad case of air-rage when the stewardess refuses to refill your coffee cup on a one hour flight for the 22nd time, telling you that "You've had enough!"

44. Your friends idea of a practical joke is changing your regular coffee to decaf... you get back at them by sending them to the Goa'uld homeworld next time your told to "dial out".

45. You hair colour matches the same shade of your favourite coffee bean - your attempts to cut your hair to look like a coffee bean, fail miserably (that means you Michael Shanks! Sorry!)

46. Your bumper sticker reads "I brake for coffee... or coffee breaks" or "Honk if you like coffee"

47. While on Coffee high you believed the chevrons were giant coffee beans and you tried to get them... almost getting vapourized when the stargate engaged

48. You met the #1 coffee drinker in the world... and you killed him... not surprisingly, you became the #1 coffee drinker in the world the next day.

49. Your testimony on the witness stand often includes the phase "The coffee made me do it"

50. Disney World executives have put a court order out on you for you to stop harrassing them regarding your proposal of 'Coffee Bean World' in both France and Florida.But Egypt is your #1 choice.

51. You began the National Coffee Drinking Festival...

52. You began the National Coffee Drinking Network, attemtpting to gain pledges to help serious coffee drinkers like yourself... and then squandered the money for Price Costco 100 lb. coffee beans for $6.99

53. Your website address is www.coffeebeans.com

54. Cops mistake the high caffine levels on the breath-a-lizer test for high Alcohal levels.

55. You are hired in a coffee bean factory and are fired a day later for "drinking on the job"

56. You are the anonymous inventor of 100 different tyoes of coffee beans... most of which you have mutated from different tyoes of beans.

57. Your glasses are shaped like Coffee beans... and are even tinted to match

58. You wear a coffee shade of lipstick... and your a guy

59. Your bedspread has minature coffee beans on it.

60. You discover the homeworld of coffee on PX-CAFE and discover the true origion of true coffee beans... But even that (ugh!) doesn't deter you...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Special Thanx to Geoff Smith who provided the cool background