The darkness creeps in again from nowhere,
waiting to run, to find the light, but where?
There's a silent pain eating away at my heart,
how can I fix it, where do I begin to start?
Not wanting the darkness to consume me,
yet everytime I head toward the light, it evades me.
The pain takes over, the regrets running free,
always wondering is there happiness for me?
I fight invisible ghosts, I hide behind the shame,
if anyone knew, could they look at me the same?
This silent battle, I fight each and ever day,
hoping in the darkness and confusion to find my way.
So overwhelming that I feel as though I might drown,
where can I find help, when there's no one around?
Will anyone care, will they ever truly know the cost,
or will it be too late and I am forever lost?
The voices talk loudly, sometimes becoming deafening,
but to control them I must, I have to do something.
Today I take control, to carefully move forward,
to again find myself, that will be the greatest Reward.
Copyright December 29, 2002
Searching deep in my soul, and what do I see,
the emptiness and fear, looking back at me.
Wondering why life throws so many curves in the road,
wishing I knew how to break this secret code.
How many losses can one heart bare or take,
before the decision, it has to finally make.
Reaching out desperately for someone to be close,
but knowing that is what I, myself, have chose.
Forever seems so long, and yet seems so short,
losing the pieces, one by one, from my heart.
Sometimes the pain seems to much to bear,
sitting here wondering, why it is that I care.
My tears are falling, like a monsoon rain,
showing how deeply my emotions do pain.
No one shall ever see my tears in sight,
for I hide them deep inside, with all my might.
Too many bad things have happened for too long now,
trying to hide my pain, but not truly knowing how.
There is a deep sadness within my eyes,
that I try my hardest to cover and disguise.
When will this nightmare finally end,
and true happiness can finally begin.
Copyright July 27, 2002
Nobody knows what he life lacks,
nobody knows what she's holding back.
Nobody looks at the tears that she cries,
then walk away, there are no goodbyes.
Nobody sees the pain that she holds inside,
if only they cared, if only they wouldn't hide.
Nobody sees the despair on her face,
she's been forgotten, in both time and space.
Nobody will remember she was ever here,
this person they all once said was so dear.
Nobody will remember how she looked or smiled,
all they will say is she was always so wild.
Nobody knows the anger she hides away,
eating away at her, more every waking day.
Nobody knows that she's gone, never to be found,
they all once cared, now none want to be around.
Nobody knows how badly she wanted to be somebody,
now she's gone forever, to those who cared.....
she became...... Nobody.
Copyright December 27, 2002
