So, Legolas, you still willing to bet brunette mortals can't use a bow?
OR: Take THAT, swan!
Wow, talking jewelry... buy out Enron, you say? (AKA Proof that the ring is EVIL)
Sam, I swear, mention taters one more time...
(thinking with horror) Is the cameraman over there picking his nose?!
Y'know, this Shire is a really nice place... if I wasn't a crazy, undead, obsessive minion of a Dark Lord bent on destroying the universe, I might actually want to settle down here...
Glorfindel, go tell Keanu Reeves he's in the wrong dimension, I'm not evil, and he can't stop arrows in Middle Earth.
*in the background*: OWW! MY HAND!
Hmm. Guess he found out on his own.
   Is that...LIPSTICK?!
ARWEN: I'm thinking now *probably* wouldn't be the best time to tell you about Boromir...