What do you mean you lost my signed picture of Galadriel?

Sheesh, I won the Istari Pointy Nails award, I get on the cover of Evil Monthly, and STILL Legolas gets more attention. Note to self: Sic orcs on fangirls. [Go Saruman!]

Shocked, Grishnak realizes *why* his mother told him never to look in the mirror.

AHHH! A SPIDER! A SPIDER! A... MERRY, you're going to get it!

No, it has nothing to do with static. Eowyn used all my conditioner.

Long- lost brothers or just the same plastic surgeon?

Look, guys, the exploding pipe gag got old back in Rivendell...

Sam: Stealin' brass ornaments just ain't right, Master Frodo. Frodo: Sam, I told you, when we sell this at the Rivendell pawn shop, you'll get a percentage...

Merry: Let's shave his feet, Pip!