Authors & E-mails:
William Lee
Karen
Velvet
Sara
Pesha
Graceless
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel
Pairing: Andrew/Xander
Warnings: PG
Summery: Plot #1 Round Robin: Andrew & Xander gets a surprise delivery when Andrew's brother and sister- in- law die and leave him their 'fortune.'
Round 1 Part 1 by William Lee
Slowly the spirit scanned the documents on the desk. A smirk crossed his face when he saw the name at the top of one. “Well, well it looks as if Nummy and the little poof are getting a package. Let’s make it a surprise.” Concentrating intently, he moved the letter into the shredder. “This will teach the little wankers to mess with the Big Bad. Who are you going to call indeed?” Strutting into the back offices, he casually rearranged the papers on the other desk he passed.
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He was restless, it was boring here. It was always the same; there was no excitement, no screams, and no fun.
With a sigh, he settled down to wait. Something had to change eventually. It had to.
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CRASH!!! The sounds of destruction echoed throughout the house, causing the servants to shudder.
"Not going! Not going! Not going!"
"Child, you must go, you can not remain here by yourself."
"NO! They are queers and fags, my father said so. Not going!"
Looking at the path of destruction, the lawyer sighed. What had he done to the senior partners to warrant this assignment? Surly losing that Microsoft case wasn't this bad? Staring down at the redheaded child in front of him, he suddenly went cold at the look of cold calculation in the green eyes. It was just a kid, right?
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Something impinged on his awareness. There was a faint hint of color on the fog around him. He shifted, looking closer at it. No, it was just his imagination.
He settled down to wait. Something had to change eventually. It had to. He could be patient, Father had taught him that. Tipping his head to one side he paused. Where had that thought come from, who was Father?
Quietly, the exiled warrior side of Connor settled down to wait and consider recent events. Thing would change, they had before, and they would again.
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"Harmony, have Xander or Andrew called?"
"No, they haven't, Gunn. Which is really strange, because I specifically mentioned that they needed to in that letter……" Turning she called out sweetly, "Blondie bear, did you do anything to my desk?"
"Hey now! Why would you think that I messed with your precious desk? Now you and me on it, " Spiked leered.
"Hmm, let's see Spike, first you followed Andrew and Xander when they were here for that reunion and told everyone what they did in Angel's office." Wesley pointed out, as he entered the lobby area.
"Peaches had every right to know that they did with that rhino horn on his wall. Besides they took my amulet in return!"
"They returned it." Fred interjected, "It wasn't their fault that it got marked third class and routed through Timbuktu." She placed a few invoices into the basket on Harmony’s desk for processing.
"If they had coughed up the dough it wouldn't have."
"Yeah, Spike, but then you put Xander's Babylon 5 plates on E-Bay!" Gunn pointed out, as he traded a few files from his arms for ones on a nearby desk. "Wait, how did you get those anyway, you’re a ghost."
"Well, the whelp needed the dosh, how else was the little poof going to open that store of his. 'Sides, I gave him the money."
"Minus what you called your fee." Angel interjected as he left his office. "Why are we going over this again?"
"Spike intercepted the letter telling Andrew about his nephew," sighed Wesley. “The one Tucker’s will had us draw up. The important one that explained how his brother died overseas, he is the child’s guardian, and we need to meet with him to explain a few of the special provisions.” Turning his attention to Spike and glaring, "This wouldn't have anything to do with that working Ghostbusters costume and CD they sent me would it?"
"Nephew? What the blazes are you talking about, that letter only said that they were getting a delivery." Backing away from the group that was clearly getting angry with him Spike was thinking quickly. “Sides that, if it was that important, why did it sit on Harms desk for a week?
All eyes turned to Harmony.
"Ummm. I'm going on break, bye!" Scurrying out of the room, Harmony almost ran over Lorne.
"Hey, slow down, sweet cheeks, the fire exits are to the right. Bobby, get on the line to Vegas, I want to seal the deal on Montecore’s memoirs while the sitch is still hot, hot, hot! Hey, cats and kittens. Why the shock and dismay routine? You look like someone stole your favorite squeak toy."
Gunn sighed, "Spike fired another salvo in the prank war. He stole the letter telling Andrew about his nephew coming to live with him."
"No big, just pick up the phone and tell him. Bid-a-bing, bada-boom case closed."
"It's not that easy, Lorne. We needed to set up a meeting with them to prepare for his arrival. It seems that the child's mother has a contract with the firm." Turning, Angel started down the hallway, "Wesley, go and get your books. Gunn, grab a copy of that contract and the mother’s personnel file. We'll have to go to them. Fred, start working on recoporalizing Spike. I want to kick his ass for this one."
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Stephen sighed in frustration. Ever since he had answered that ad for a nanny to travel cross-country with a child, nothing had gone right. First his debit card had been eaten by the ATM machine, then he had been forced to share a taxi with that grandmother who had been coated with Ben-Gay, but now that taxi had left without unloading his luggage. If he did not need the money, and the trip to San Francisco he would just walk away from this assignment.
"Mr. ummm, Stephen?" The lawyer stammered as he looked at the paper in his hand
Turning at the smooth cultured voice, Stephen was surprised at the appearance of the man behind him. The drawn and haggard face spoke of several sleepless nights.
"Here are your tickets and your charge, the plane leaves in an hour." Shoving the papers into one hand the man shoved a small boy at him and turned to go.
"Wait, I don't have my luggage, I can't leave right now."
Throwing a card at him, the man continued to limp away, "Put what you need on this card."
Looking down at the card, Stephen almost fainted. It was a Platinum Visa, and the name on it was Wolfram and Hart.
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There was a faint hint of color on the fog around him. He shifted, looking closer at it. It was there, it was another change. Slowly the spot of color grew larger.
Connor settled down to wait. He was patient; Father had praised him about that when they hunted. There had been a change, there would be another.
Reaching into the fog, Connor pulled a sword out and started polishing it. Brushing the dirty and matted hair out of his face, a smile ghosted across his face as he leaned across the huge, black panther curled behind him.
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The bell over the door of Hero’s Unlimited chimed as the local school children rushed in to grab the new comic books. Andrew smiled tolerantly as his carefully arranged displays were demolished. Back in Sunnydale, he had dreamed of owning a store like this, a place where he could read comics, talk about the recently published games, or watch movies, while still getting paid.
Looking up at the sound of the bell, he frowned at the expression on his lovers face.
“Lover, did that low-down, stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy looking nurf-herder not like the plans for his store?”
“Na, they liked it well enough, it’s just…” Xander waved his hand vaguely. “I have that before the storm feeling again.”
Andrew blanched at that statement. The last time Xander had that “just before the storm feeling” he had wound up shutting the store for two weeks because the demon bike gang had come into town to celebrate. Looking around at his precious store he started making plans to protect the glossy comics, vintage Star Wars tapes, not to mention the complete set of autographed Star Trek pictures. “Let me get my pipes and ….”
“It’s not that kind of feeling, it’s just the……..”
“My mommy calls those the nameless dreads, she usually gets them just before grandma calls and tells her she is coming to visit.”
Xander and Andrew looked down at the little boy. Then back at each other with dawning realization.
“No, it is not….”
“It can’t be….”
Racing each other, they bolted for the calendar. They both caressed the face of Legollas before they checked the dates.
“Crisis averted, it is only November.”
“Ummm, hate to tell you this, Drew.”
Andrew froze at the tone in Xander’s voice. Looking back at his boyfriend, he silently begged him not to say those words. The hated words, the words they had promised never to utter ever again. The words that were the reason Xander would not allow him to put up Christmas decorations. He claimed they brought back too many painful memories.
Holding a register receipt in his hands, Xander look up, his eyes bright with tears and a touch of fear,
“It’s December, December 15th to be exact. And that means…..” he trailed off, not able to say THOSE WORD.
“Harris Family Christmas Party.” There, he had said it, without fainting or getting sick this time.
Xander blanched and looked at his boyfriend. While he was proud of him for not fainting at THOSE WORDS, hadn’t he learned that saying things like that out loud made them come true?
“Well, all of your family knows about you and me now. How bad can it be this year?”
At that moment, the tinny strains of circus music drifted in from the street. With a sense of growing dread, they turned in unison to the door as a garish parade of multicolored clowns looking like something just this side of Barnum and Bailey hell came marching through the comic store’s front door. More outrageous, than the clown costumes, were their packages; children’s toys of every shape and size imaginable. Before they could stammer out the thousand questions they had, a last clown entered. He was holding a sign that proclaimed in bold letters:
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Round 1 Part 2 by Karen
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"You know, I'm a smart girl. I have a college degree. I lived in a demon dimension. I'm currently studying the metaphysical properties of tridimensional nonanthropomorphic life forms. But *that* stuff is Greek to me." Fred slid the slim folder of paperwork across the large table with a frustrated sigh and blew a lock of hair out of her eyes. "When is Gunn getting here?"
At that moment, Gunn appeared at the doorway; the last person to arrive at the impromptu meeting Angel had called immediately after they'd located the contract of the illusive Mrs. Wells. Or the late Mrs. Wells, as Gunn had eventually learned.
"You are not going to believe the security spells this baby had on it. I'm thinking whatever this chick was contracted to do while she was alive, it was big. I've been trying to find the lawyer that originally drew it up, but apparently he's retired to Barbados on Wolfram & Hart's tab. The only person I *could* get in touch with was an ex-secretary of his. Said he claimed to have dealt with something so evil, the Senior Partners thought early retirement was only fair."
"Well that can't possibly be good," Wesley said as Gunn opened the file and began skimming it.
"So, lawyer boy. Wha's it say?" Spike said, hovering over Gunn's shoulder.
"I don't remember asking the Phantom Menace to join this meeting." Gunn scowled at the blond ghost.
"Spike, shut up," Angel barked and Spike, surprisingly enough, slunk to the corner to sulk. "We need to have all the information we can before we call Andrew and Xander." Angel managed to be patient for a full five seconds before turning to Gunn and asking, "So… what's it say?"
Gunn crinkled his brow and hesitated before answering. "It's weird. It's not a contract *with* Wolfram & Hart specifically. I mean, their lawyers drew it up, but…it actually looks like…" Gunn's eyes rapidly scanned the page.
"What? Don't leave us with a 'Who shot J.R.', Mr. Gunnysacks." When the people at the table turned to stare at him, Lorne added, "And before you ask, no I did *not* intend to drop a testicle joke in that last comment; so let's just move on, shall we?" Lorne, who rarely blushed, was turning a nice chocolate brown under his normally green skin.
"Well there's something here about dissolution of marriage…splitting the property…blah, blah, blah…irreconcilable differences, the usual…'my husbands a big, fat, evil bastard'…yadda, yadda, yadda…"
"You know, with Wolfram & Hart, that could be interpreted literally," Wesley volunteered.
"…and splitting the Spawn of--woah! I'm hoping that last line was just a little ad-libbing by our MIA lawyer because…I think it's a custody agreement."
"A custody agreement?" Fred asked, confused. "But we already have the custody agreement. It's in Tucker Wells' file. Andrew gets custody of his son after he dies."
"*Different* custody agreement…this one's older…it looks like…lemme see…weird! Listen to this. 'The separation shall take place at two years of age. There shall be no contact between siblings until such time as the child reaches her eighteenth birthday or until aforementioned dependent is deceased…blah blah blah…wherein the children may be reunited if appropriate guardianship can be claimed-- ' "
"Let me make sure I'm getting this. You're tell me that there's *another* child?" Wesley asked.
"That's exactly what I'm sayin'. Girl's in England. The file's got…" Gunn began flipping through the loose pages. "…addresses, contact numbers…looks like a nanny's been given temporary custody until now, but since the father is deceased…"
"Well is this nanny *aware* that the father has passed on?" Wesley asked.
"We contacted Tucker Wells' colleagues in England, per his will. So, yeah, I would assume they know," Gunn answered.
"So, in addition to a nephew, you're tell us that Andrew also has a niece?" Angel was dumbfounded.
"Right. A twin."
"That he's never known about?"
"Right."
"That he now has sole custody of beginning, well, as soon as this child gets stateside."
"Exactly."
"Xander's going to freak out," Angel predicted.
"This girl could be on her way as we speak," Fred pointed out. "And we *know* the nephew's almost there and they have no idea! Somebody's got to call them."
Spike suddenly recovered from his sulkfest in the corner.
"OH! OH! CAN IT BE ME? I WANT IT TO BE ME! CAN I DO IT? PLEEEEAAAASSSSE????"
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Xander and Andrew could do no more than blink at the garish display before them. While they gaped, the clown holding the sign gave a quick spin and launched into a very special rendition of "I'm a Little Teapot."
Here's a little song on your special day,
With a few trinkets for kids to play,
If you ever have need of a place to stay,
Don't he-sitate to come our way.
The clown finished with a flourish and then added, "From Mr. and Mrs. Donald Trump." He held out his hand expectantly, but before Xander or Andrew could place a tip in it-or, in fact, pinch themselves to make sure they weren't dreaming-an enormous bouquet of roses was being ushered in, followed by six dancing poodles and a small pony.
"Donald Trump bought us a pony?" Andrew finally asked, confused.
"No…Donald Trump bought us the singing telegram. And half of F.A.O Schwartz. It looks like," Xander examined the card, "the king and queen of Bulgaria bought the roses. 'To Mr. Andrew Wells. Congratulations on your adoption', "he read. "That's weird. And," he examined the tag around the pony's bridle, "the pony is from Madonna. Hey Andrew?"
"Yeah?"
"Why the hell is Madonna buying us ponies?"
"Technically, Xander, she only bought us *one* pony so--"
"Andrew! Are you with me here? There is a small horse in our store AND IT'S EATING THE FIRST EDITION 'PUNISHERS'!"
"Bad pony! Bad!" Andrew smacked the pony's nose softly. Their day couldn't get any crazier…
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"They're not answering their phone, Angel. I don't understand. It's the middle of the day. Shouldn't they be at their store?" Fred was more than a little confused. She knew how Xander and Andrew loved their store--it was practically all they could talk about the last time they'd visited.
"Probably too busy shaggin' like bunnies to take your call, pet," Spike offered.
"We don't need comments from you, Spike," Angel growled. "Try them again. And keep trying until you get them."
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The telephone at Heroes Unlimited rang, unattended, in the back room. On the sales floor, all hell was breaking loose.
"Xander? This guy wants to know if we'll accept the gold-plated swimming pool that Bill Gates ordered for us; and, if so, where can he break ground." Andrew gestured to the leader of a small team of construction workers camped out at the front door of the comic book store.
"We don't even have a *house*, Andrew! Where would we put it? In Mrs. Capowski's living room on the first floor? She thinks we're crazy enough after that handcuff incident."
"Well *you* tell them no. I had to turn down that guy with the trained monkeys from Elizabeth Taylor."
"Andrew, you seem to be missing a very large point here which is WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"
The bell above the door jangled again, this time ushering in what appeared to be paying customers.
"I'm really sorry," Andrew started, "but we're closing early today. We've had a little--"
"Andrew Wells?" A stern woman in a severe black suit stepped forward.
"Yes?" Andrew gulped.
Xander was suddenly reminded of his second grade teacher, Ms. Miller. She always smacked the desk with a ruler when the kids weren't paying attention. It used to make Willow cry, and Xander had always hated Ms. Miller for it.
The woman scowled briefly. It was obvious that she considered smiling a luxury not to be wasted on mere mortals. "Here. This is yours," the woman said in a cultured British accent.
Before Andrew could refuse acceptance of another package, bouquet, or performing animal, he felt a small sticky hand grasp his. When he looked down, he found himself staring into soft green eyes.
"Medicine, feeding schedule, shots, allergies, and all other necessary information is here." The woman thrust a small, Strawberry Shortcake overnight bag into his other hand while Xander stared, openmouthed. The woman scowled again. "Perhaps *you* can do something with her." In a swirl of overly starched fabric, she was gone.
"Hey! Wait! You forgot your….kid," Andrew finished when he realized he wasn't being heard by anyone, except the trained doves that now perched on a life-sized Wolverine cutout.
Andrew looked down at the little girl clutching his hand. Long red braids hung down each side of a pale, freckled face. From the pleated blue skirt to the shiny patent-leather shoes, she appeared proper in every way- much like the woman who had dropped her off. While one hand held on to Andrew, her other hand held a large purple lollipop. She appeared unconcerned about the stern woman's departure.
"Do you want some of my lolly?" she asked shyly and held the enormous sweet out to Andrew.
"Um, no. That's okay. You eat it. Xander?" Andrew turned his panic- face over to his boyfriend. "Are we in Bizzaro world? No, that can't be because that would be opposite and this isn't opposite, it's just weird and--"
"Hey, Mister? Where should we set up the children's petting zoo?"
Xander turned to a trio of men wearing matching coveralls.
"That's it! No more! Out! All of you out!"
"But what are we going to tell the Clintons?"
"Tell them to take their petting zoos, and their flowers, and their toys, and their remote controlled baby buggies and get the heck out of this store before I call the cops!"
The three men scurried from the store in a panic. Andrew had never seen Xander so wild, so forceful…he was very turned on.
"Does he always yell?" the little girl whispered with an English accent. "No! He hardly ever yells. Don't worry," Andrew soothed. "Who are you? And who was that lady?"
The little girl didn't answer, only gave her candy a lick and turned to stare at Xander. "You're very tall. Why do you have a patch? Are you a pirate? Do you have gold? My mummy had lots and lots of gold. And other moneys too. But not as much as daddy…mummy said he had *lots* of friends." She nodded knowingly at the room full of toys. While Xander was trying to think of something to say, she continued in the same soft voice. "Mummy was very rich. But she's gone now. Demons, you know."
Andrew did a double take. "Demons?"
"Yeah…I like your pony. May I ride her? I've had lessons. Mummy said I was quite the best rider in the county, considering my age, which is four and one quarter. But Mrs. Weisell said riding doesn't suit ladies, but I think that was mean. Do *you* want a lick of my lolly?" she asked Xander, beaming him a large smile.
Xander couldn't control his response to the Willow-like babble. He felt his face instantly smile back under the killer grin the little girl flashed him. Maybe it was the hair- always a sucker for a redhead. Then again, he always had been a sucker for any pretty girl. Or pretty boy for that matter…
"Andrew? Do we know this kid? Because her mom just left and I'm thinking…"
The bell above the door jangled with an air of foreboding. A guy a little younger than Andrew came in. Great, Xander thought. What would it be this time? Elephants? Musical toilets?
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A smile slipped onto Connor's face. In time, all things became known. His purpose now was clear. He would wait for his moment. The fun was just beginning…
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"I'm looking for…" the guy at the door looked at the thick fold of papers he was carrying. Xander felt a tickle of familiarity when saw him but it passed almost as soon as it had come. "…Andrew Wells?"
"That's me!" Andrew tried to hold up his hand, forgetting that it was stuck-quite literally-to a little girl.
"Hey. I think this kid belongs to you, right?" He gestured to the tiny redhead that stood next to him, glowering at the adults with sly, lowered lids.
"I don't actually think so. I mean, no."
"You *are* Andrew Wells, right?" he asked. "Don't you even *dare* move from that spot!" he suddenly ordered. Andrew and Xander froze before realizing that he wasn't talking to them. They looked to the small boy, who had somehow managed to remove both shoes and was eyeing the floor-to-ceiling shelf of Archie comics with determination. "Look, I have instructions to deliver him to Andrew Wells. You weren't at your home address and this was the next address on the list. And after the plane ride I just had, there's no credit card in the world that Wolfram & Hart could give me to take your job; so you sure as hell better be him."
"My father said you're fags," the kid suddenly accused, one finger planted squarely up his nose. Xander and Andrew both gaped at him. "He said he'd only let me live with fags over his dead body only he's really dead now. He died in New York. And I don't take baths. Ever. Never ever. Do you guys have McDonalds? What's a fag?"
"A fag," the little girl suddenly chimed in, "means cigarette. And my mummy wouldn't let me even touch one of those. She said they're bad for you. But they aren't fags; because I've seen fags on television, and those are boys, not cigarettes."
"Oh." The little boy seemed at a loss after that. Then he suddenly cried out, "I'm SuperTurd!" and began racing around the store, narrowly missing knocking Andrew to the ground. Finally, he gave an enormous leap and crashed into a Marvel stand. Comics fluttered through the air and the boy stood with a bleeding scrape on one knee.
"Steeeeephen!" he wailed, his countenance changing in an instant. The young man hauled the child over one shoulder.
"Do you have any Band-Aids?" he asked.
Xander nodded and pulled out a small first aid kit he kept under the counter. While the child's knee was bandaged, Xander and Andrew stared at the exchange with amazement.
"How did you get the scrape?"
"I cutted it on a shelf," the boy sniffed.
"Why did you cut it on a shelf?" Stephen prodded.
"'Cause I bumped into it."
"Why did you bump into it?" the young man asked, finally getting to the heart of the subject. The child looked guiltily at the Batman Band-Aid. For being not much more than a kid himself, Stephen could handle the kid pretty well.
"'Cause I was running even though you said I had to be on my bestest behavior for Uncle Andrew."
"Uncle WHO?" Xander said as Andrew fainted. He stood rooted to the floor with shock.
At that moment, another delivery person walked in. "Who's going to sign for the hot air balloon from a Mr. and Mrs. Pitt? Hello? Am I speaking Chinese here? Hey…is anyone gonna answer that phone?"
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Round 1 Part 3 by Velvet Crypt
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Xander sat between the Wells offspring. Not that he really wanted to, but he figured that if it prevented the end of existence as he knew it…hey, someone had to do it. The kids had taken to hating each other straight away. It was odd, in fact. Generally kids didn’t hate each other on sight. Maybe deep down they knew they were brother and sister.
By the time he and Andrew had sorted the delivery people and the small zoo out, sent everyone/thing back where it came from, and locked the front door to keep out customers—and maybe any new exhausted caretaker with a third red-headed, cranky and poorly dispositional Wells child—the kids had drawn battle lines. He and Andrew watched in horror as the opposing sides gathered their ammunition…the store stock.
So, Andrew grabbed the girl (“my name is not ‘girl,’ it is Victoria Elizabeth Wells, thank you very much”) and hauled her away from the Magic the Gathering display before she could begin to hurl the starter packs across the room. Xander snagged the boy (“don’t call me Buddy, you fag!”) by the collar and deposited him in a chair next to the cash register where he couldn’t reach the vintage Star Wars figures to recreate his own Death Star battle with his sister.
Miss Victoria was quite amenable to shooting venom filled glares at the boy (“Don’t call me boy!) but the kid (“Don’t call me kid, either!”) retaliated against his sister (“She is not my sister!) with his own weaponry. “Gross! Don’t flick boogers at Victoria! That’s disgusting!” Andrew wailed.
Eventually, both Victoria and Daniel, who kindly offered his name after gentle questioning (“You better tell me your name, you brat, or I’m gonna--") ("Andrew!"), came to an agreement and sat on opposite sides of the room, mentally cursing at one another. Meanwhile, Xander finally had a chance to answer the phone. Andrew couldn't tell if the look on Xan’s face was from relief or paranoia when he stated that Angel and Company needed to see them and the kids at the office downtown.
And so, here they were. Xander watched through the window as Andrew became more and more pale. He could see the pensive, brooding look on Angel's face and it didn’t look so good from where he was sitting either. He sighed and glanced down at the children flanking him. Victoria sat, stiff-backed and patiently, with her hands folded primly in her lap. She’d taken up staring at the weird abstract picture above Harmony’s desk a few minutes ago and it seemed to have her totally entranced.
Daniel, however, slouched in his seat to the point that he was nearly falling out of it. He had his finger up his nose again. Xander wondered how much of that was the actual pleasure in gold mining and how much was the enjoyment of riling up the adults who watched with disgusted looks as they walked by. Christ, this sucked. “So, anyone thirsty?” he offered the olive branch. “Would you like some water?”
“No thank you,” Victoria stated politely and went back to gazing at the painting.
Daniel snorted, his finger coming out of his nose. “What I want is my pony that Madonna gave me,” he stated before pointedly wiping his snot-covered finger on the cushion of Xander’s seat.
Years of killing slimy, gooey, snot-like monsters were of no help to Xander who tried heroically hard not to gag at the glistening streak gracing his seat. He scooted surreptitiously towards the clean side of his chair, but knew he hadn’t fooled the boy. He received a wicked smirk for his troubles. “I told you, Daniel,” Xander said instead. “We sent all of that stuff back. There was nowhere to keep it at home and we certainly couldn’t keep it at the shop.”
“You know, it’s really uncouth to bring up that Mr. Harris and Uncle Andrew are obviously poor,” Victoria piped up. “It’s very plain why Mummy left your father if he had the same manners that you do.”
Daniel leaped from his seat and launched himself at his sister with a roar. “Don’t you talk about my Dad like that!” he screamed. Xander snagged him by the waist and held him with his feet off of the ground. He turned them away from Victoria’s satisfied smile and winced with each slam of Daniel’s mini-docs against his thighs. He moved the boy carefully away from his crotch and held on until Daniel stopped thrashing.
He could feel all eyes on him but the spectacle they must be making took second place to the tiny, almost unnoticeable shakes that the small boy was making. He set Daniel back down into his chair and watched sadly as the boy curled up into a ball, facing the other direction; his face buried in his arms so that no one saw his tears.
Xander turned a disapproving eye on Victoria. She turned her nose up at him at first, snobbery evident in every bone of her youthful body, but then Xander’s soulful eyes wore her down. She dropped her gaze and began fidgeting with her skirt. “That wasn’t called for, Victoria,” Xander stated softly, sitting back down. “Maybe he was rude, but you really hurt his feelings.”
Victoria squirmed under Xander’s gentle voice. “Don’t you miss your mom?” She nodded briskly, tears filling her eyes also. “Well, as much as you miss your mom? That’s how much Danny misses his dad.” Victoria nodded again and leaned back in her chair, English manners forgotten momentarily.
“My dad called me Danny,” came the diminutive murmur next to Xander.
He winced. “Would you rather I didn’t call you that?”
A noncommittal shrug was his only answer. They sat in uncomfortable silence for long minutes.
“Where will we be staying?” Victoria finally broke the quiet. “Does this building have a penthouse in it?”
Xander grinned. “Yes, but you wouldn’t want to stay there. Andrew and I have a small house just outside of town.”
“How many bedrooms and baths?” she continued, a slight frown developing between her brows.
“There are three bedrooms and two bathrooms,” Xander answered obediently. “Both the extra bedrooms are filled full of stored stuff right now, but it shouldn’t take us too long to clean them out.”
“Two bathrooms?” Victoria seemed stuck on that fact. “But…but that means I’ll have to share my bathroom with a boy!”
Xander nodded.
“Well, what about the servants?” she pushed.
“We don’t have servants.”
Her eyes widened to the size of small saucers. “But…who cooks? Who cleans? Who picks up after me?”
Xander grinned. “I cook pretty well. And there’s always take-out. Andrew is a real stickler for cleanliness. And as for you two, you’ll be picking up after yourselves.” Victoria threw a hand up to her forehead and fell back against the chair muttering ‘horrible, horrible, horrible.'
On the other side, Daniel snickered. Xander exchanged a smile with him. “We didn’t have no servants neither,” the boy stated.
“Any servants either,” Xander corrected automatically. He inwardly rolled his eyes right along with Daniel. Oh what Willow would give to hear him now.
“Whatever,” Daniel waved him off. “The servants always left after Dad tried to kiss ‘em. Finally, he got tired of getting new ones.”
Xander frowned. “Didn’t you have a pretty big house, though?”
Daniel nodded. “Yeah. But Dad just summoned copercoreal dudes to clean.” Xander stared at the little boy in confusion. He mouthed ‘copercoreal’ back at Daniel and the boy rolled his eyes. “You know. Copercoreal.” He poked Xander in the chest. “Like us. Not like that guy in there, the one who walked through the wall,” he pointed at Spike lounging against the paned office window.
“Oh!” Xander smiled. “Corporeal.”
Daniel sneered. “That’s what I said.”
“Actually,” Victoria began helpfully, “what you said was--“
“Well, looky there!” Xander interrupted loudly. “Looks like they’re coming out!”
******************************************
Round 1 Part 4 by Sara
******************************************
“All that’s left is that you sign these papers, here,” Fred said gently to Andrew, presenting him with a packet of official looking documents. “You can read over them, or Charles can brief you on what all the big lawyer words mean.” She gave her trademark half smile.
Andrew took the papers, and stared down at them in quiet thought. He didn’t know what he was supposed to be feeling, or even what he was feeling. He hadn’t even know that his brother had children, hadn’t even the faintest clue that Tucker was dead, until Daniel and Victoria had shown up.
It was difficult to feel pity for someone’s death when they had been so dead bent on keeping you out of their life.
Andrew rubbed a hand through his hair for a moment. “Why do I get the kids again?” He mumbled.
“You’re the only known living relative, on either side of the family,” Gunn explained, standing up and walking briskly across the room. “So it was either you, or the hard knock life with Annie and all the other orphans.”
Andrew grimaced. Tucker may not have been in the best place in Andrew’s heart, but that was no reason to take it out on his kids. A fluttering feeling of guilt entered his stomach as he realized he’d been considering refusing the responsibility being set on his shoulders.
Letting out a deep sigh, he held out his hand to Gunn.
“I’ll need a pen.”
******************************************
Connor leaned forward in anticipation. The colors swirled into nameless shapes and faces, a drab and darkened sky dotted by the occasional bright light. A half purr, half growl escaped from his companion’s mouth as it paced behind him. The sound acted like a ripple along the hardly existent gray surface, until it reached the blurring colors, where it made what could be best described as a silent ‘boom’. The colors suddenly sharpened, and slowly began bleeding down to the floor, revealing a doorway into the bustling night streets of L.A.. Connor, smirking, stepped through, the panther at his heels.
******************************************
Xander stood up, relief spreading quickly across his face as Angel and his colleagues entered the room, Andrew trailing along behind them. He strode over to him and pulled him into an embrace.
Andrew buried his face into Xander’s chest, taking comfort in the familiar smell.
“I did it…” he murmured weakly. “…I guess they’re ours.”
Xander swallowed and nodded, lowering his face into Andrew’s strawberry-scented hair.
“That’s about it,” Angel said suddenly, interrupting the moment.
“We’ll be checking up on whatever other information there might be on Mrs. Wells,” Fred announced cheerfully, documents clutched firmly under one arm, “But other then that, I think you two are free to leave whenever you’re ready.”
“Great,” Xander said, draping an arm across Andrew’s shoulders, “No offense to you guys or anything,” he gestured towards the group of three, cleverly avoiding motioning too widely to Angel, “It’s just that, when you finally get rid of something you hate, you like to stay rid of it. And to be quite frank, I don’t think I can stand to be in the same building as,” his voice a falsetto, he mimicked Harmony almost perfectly, “Blondie Bear any longer then I have to.”
“Hey!” Spike’s pale head suddenly appeared through the wall. “I heard that!”
“Good,” Xander stated nonchalantly, “You were supposed to.”
Spike clucked his tongue at his former teammate. “Someone’s certainly in a nasty mood. I suppose that means the fires gone out for the happy couple, eh?”
Xander’s eyebrow began to twitch.
“’Course, I never had that problem with any of my ladies, but that’s the married life for ya, eh, Harris?” Spike smirked widely.
“I’m sure I would ask your advice, Spike,” Xander replied testily, “If, one, that were the case, and two, I thought that the advice of an impotent ghost could help my sex life.”
“You want to say that again, Wonder Boy?” Spike growled lowly, giving Xander the trademarked ‘Glare o’ Death’.
“What’cha gonna do about it?” Xander taunted in a sing-song voice.
Spike was just about to retort when he was interrupted by a bemused sounding Andrew.
“Xander, just in case you hadn’t noticed…” He sighed melodramatically, “The kids are gone.”
Xander, forgetting about Spike entirely, spun around and faced the chairs where, only a moment ago, the two mourning siblings had been.
Not surprisingly, both chairs were empty.
******************************************
Conner quickly found that when he touched things, his hand flowed through them like water. People couldn’t see him, hear him. He was still in some spiritual form. It simply hadn’t occurred to him before that he might have been this far misplaced from his body. But something had to have happened, or Skarrow wouldn’t have brought him here.
The panther had draped his self around the feet of a teenage girl waiting at a bus stop. She shivered, glanced down at her feet as though expecting to see something, and pulled up her socks.
“Skarrow…” Conner said in a low, commanding voice, though he knew he held no power over the magnificent cat. Skarrow untwined himself and came to sit at Conner’s side, staring up at him with the unnerving gaze of a predator.
Patience, child, The panther said back to him in a strange, frightening voice. Our purpose here will be made clear soon enough.
******************************************
“You’re not supposed to be doing that,” the girl warned in a haughty tone. Victoria sat primly on the edge of the roller-desk chair, hands clasped together on the lap of her smoothed, clean dress. Her hair had been taken out of the pigtails and set about her shoulders in a neat, proper fashion. “You’re going to get into trouble.”
“Aw, shut up, spoil-sport,” Daniel shot back, stopping his escapades of clambering all over the paperwork on Harmony’s desk long enough to stick his tongue out at his sister.
“You’re not supposed to say ‘shut up’, it’s very, very rude,” Victoria informed.
“Well, what are you supposed to say then?” the boy sat cross-legged on the desk and faced her.
“You are supposed to say please be quiet.”
“That’s for girls!” Daniel began tearing a square of paper out of a document in front of him.
“Not at all. My mummy said that all good girls and boys are proper, and if they’re not the demons will get them.” She paused and frowned at him. “You really shouldn’t be doing that.”
“I know about demons,” he said, ignoring her patronizing stare, “They did whatever my daddy told them to do. I’m not afraid of demons.”
Victoria’s eyes focused on something behind Daniel. “Prove it then,” she dared him.
“Can’t,” he said easily, “There ain’t no demons here.”
“There’s one right behind you.”
His eyes widened and he spun around, “Whe-where-” he swallowed as the huge looking demon across the floor caught sight of him and made his way over to the desk.
“Mummy said demons eat children like you.” Victoria said.
“Nuh-uh…”
“They do so.”
Daniel suddenly burst into tears as the demon reached the desk.
“Whoa, there, munchkin, what’s with the water works?” Lorne asked, surprised.
Daniel sniffled, “I don’t wanna get eaten.”
Lorne glanced around, blinking, “Whose going to eat you?”
“You are!”
“What? Says who?”
The shaken boy pointed at his sister, who sat calmly in the chair as though waiting for her brother to be eaten.
Lorne shook his head and tried to keep down a laugh as he soothingly patted Daniel on the back. “So you two must be Danny and Vicky, the brand spankin’ new adoptees.”
The girl huffed angrily, “My name is not Vicky, it’s Victoria!”
******************************************
Harmony and Andrew discovered Lorne at the secretary’s desk at almost the same time. Lorne now sat in the chair, Daniel curled up fast asleep on his lap, Victoria perched in her brother’s place on top of the paperwork.
“Demon’s are supposed to eat bad children,” Victoria insisted, “Mummy told me so!”
“Actually, Hon, demons prefer the innocent,” Lorne said indifferently, as though it didn’t effect him that he was relaying this information to a child.
The girl looked nervous, “Really?”
“Oh, Vicky, I wouldn’t worry too much. I’d say after what I saw in today’s little fiasco, Danny here still has more to worry about then you in that department.”
It only took her a moment to realize what the demon was suggesting. “That-that’s not a very nice thing to say!”
“Lorne!” Andrew interrupted, appearing suddenly, “You found them!”
“Lorne!” Harmony screeched as she came around the corner, “What did you do to my desk?!”
******************************************
After seeing Andrew, Xander and the children off safely, Lorne remembered something.
“Hey, Angel!” he called out to the vampire as he was stepping into his office. Pausing, Angel turned and inquisitively at his approaching friend.
“Yeah?”
“Wesley wanted me to tell you,” he said, stopping in front of him, “He found a new prophecy.”
“What kind of prophecy?”
“I don’t really know. All I got was something about the return of the son, or some-” Angel froze for a moment, then pushed past Lorne and headed in the direction of Wesley’s office.
“I’ll go see him myself.”
Lorne frowned, watching Angel’s retreating back. “What’s eatin’ him?”
******************************************
Round 1 Part 5 by Pesha
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Angel walked briskly towards Wesley's office and answers, desperately hoping that he was wrong and those answers had absolutely nothing to do with *his* son. Images of Connor flashed through his mind: Connor newly-born and screaming, Connor sleeping as an infant, and Connor older, crying, calling him a liar, a failure, no kind of real father.
"Angel!" Wesley abruptly exclaimed, breaking his chain of thought, "I'm glad you're here. You must have really rushed." Wesley gave him a measured look before continuing, "I hope you know this is most likely me simply reading too much into things. I could very well be wrong about this, so I don't want you to…"
Angel's state of mind was still shaky enough to leave him irritable and in no mood for Wesley trying to coddle him, "Just get on with it, Wesley. What have you got for me? Is it bad?"
Wesley heaved a long-suffering sigh before taking off his glasses to meticulously clean them…stalling for the right words to make his suspicions clear. Angel's black glower was incentive enough for him to resettle the glasses in their rightful place and begin, right words or no.
"There was something familiar about the terms of the children's separation contract, so I cross-referenced some volumes regarding reincarnation and found…an interesting prophesy," Wesley paused thoughtfully, looking about as though seeking the necessary words from the office walls.
"Wesley, I think we both know that time is often of the essence in this office. I don't *have* time to waste while you attempt to protect me from whatever it is you are attempting protect me from. I'm a big boy. Let me have it," Angel's comments, meant to incite the fretting ex-watcher into speech, caused a ruddy blush to settle darkly across the other man's stubbled cheeks.
"Oh! Of course. I just," Wesley blushed even darker, ears tingeing pink, and cleared his throat roughly before continuing, "Well, yes, at any rate, this prophesy was made by an old Romanian woman about fifty years ago. It just happened to have been recorded in `Modern Prophesies and…'"
"Wesley!" Angel broke in.
"She said that the son born of one of Darkness, possessing the Grace of Light, would be resurrected when twin innocents returned from the realm of shadow through the joining in love of two worlds," Wesley waited for Angel to react to his pronouncement, prepared for the worst.
"What?" Angel asked, puzzled.
"What?" Wesley rejoined, his thoughts of confronting Angel with knowledge of the other's hidden son disrupted not by anger or abashment, as he *had* expected, but by confusion…which he had evidently not.
"Wesley, I know you think you just said something incredibly obvious, but I'm gonna have to say that I'm drawing a blank as to what it has to do with…anything really. Can you repeat that with the relevant parts in plain English please?" Angel asked with an exasperated smile.
The blush back in place, Wesley cleared his throat again for posterity's sake, "Of course. Basically, that prophesy just stated that the son of a vampire possessing a soul would return from the dead when innocent twins were reincarnated through a loving union between two different worlds. We know from the contracts that the former Mrs. Wells was a powerful witch of an old and distinguished English background while Tucker was…well, Andrew's brother. Two different worlds indeed. Also, it appears that their relationship was in fact arranged for them by Wolfram and Hart. The fact that they just happened to fall in love later is what allowed them to… meet the prophecy's requirements. I believe that Wolfram and Hart arranged these people's lives in this manner to…well, Angel to resurrect your son."
Angel looked thoughtfully at Wesley's shelves, seeking answers in their beautiful bindings, perhaps. He quietly asked, "How would Wolfram and Hart have known that Tucker and…his wife would have twins? How did they know they would have met the requirements?"
"They were giving her fertility drugs to ensure that she conceived. The drugs increase the probability of multiples occurring. They couldn't have been certain, obviously, but it still makes sense that they would not have minded *trying* at the very least," Wesley responded, matter-of-factly.
"Why would Wolfram and Hart want to fulfill that prophesy? Who are these twins they are trying to reincarnate and why would their return influence the return of Connor?" Angel asked, turning to face Wesley directly for his answers.
`Connor,' Wesley thought, `So, he admits to having had a child. Why has he never mentioned him before?' Wesley's look turned grave as he considered how best to answer the questions posed him.
******************************************
Connor sighed raggedly as Skarrow paused before him. The panther's ponderous progress had halted unexpectedly before a large office building of some form.
"Why have we stopped here? Aren't we trying to get somewhere, Skarrow?" Connor questioned, innocently.
The black beast turned slowly around to stalk back to the man-child's side; its great head knocked imperiously at Connor's lax hand. As Connor obediently began to stroke the soft fur, Skarrow mentally conferred to him, "We *have* gotten somewhere, my friend. We are where we were to be all along. This is the home of your father. Your answers lie within and a little child shall lead you to them."
A deep purr rumbled from the powerful cat's chest as Connor slowly followed him forward, through the double doors of Wolfram and Hart.
******************************************
"Have you found them yet?" Andrew panted frantically as he ran to meet Xander at the elevator banks on the third floor…the fifth that they had searched fruitlessly so far.
"No. I say we go to Angel's office and see if he can have them paged or at least the building sealed so they can't wander out into the streets," Xander offered, taking Andrew's cold, slightly damp hand in his own.
Andrew sighed at the gesture and turned sparkly eyes on him, "I suppose we had better get used to being worried. I mean, we're dads now, right? And kids always get lost or don't get home on time or go out without telling you they're going out since they don't want to get a lecture or…something. I mean…I just hope that you don't think that I'm an awful father since I lost our kids and now I'm panicking. Xander, is Danny asleep in Lorne's lap?"
Xander smiled indulgently as he pulled his chatty lover towards Harmony's desk. It never failed. The minute he grabbed Andrew's hand, the other man lost all ability to pay attention to his surroundings, control his body…or still his tongue. He wouldn't have it any other way.
"Stealing babies isn't a custom amongst your people is it?" Xander smirked.
"Hey, it's not stealing if you just find it abandoned on the ground somewhere. That's called *finding,* honey. Speaking of finding, I think there just might be a `finder's fee' involved in the return of these particular lost items," Lorne gestured towards the sticky hand-prints marring his stylish suit.
"Finder's fee! We were really worried. Andrew here was rethinking his fatherly capabilities and it's not even been an hour since he *became* a father! Man, you just better hope I don't send you therapy bills," Xander joked.
"Yeah, well, you're definitely gonna hope your mailman gets lost on his way to your house with *my* dry-cleaning bill. This suit is ultra-suede," Lorne laughed.
Victoria then timely interrupted by announcing precisely, "I need to use the loo. Uncle Andrew, will you take me?"
******************************************
Round 1 Part 6 by Graceless
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TBA