Hello my name is Stacie I am 34 years old and a mother of three boys and housewife. I am here to talk to you about sexual abuse .When I was 12 years old my family went out of state to visit relitives. Why we were out there my cousin sexual abused me. He was 16 and I was 12 . He had sex with me three different times. I tryed to tell my mother on the way coming home but all I could say was "He did it to me." she said "Did what?" I stoped not saying anything but thinking to myself, you know what. Never said anything about it again.
At 14 I was raped by my best friends foster brother Travis.It took me a week to tell anyone about it. The only reason I told was he was telling everyone at school he got down my pants, at that time I was really upset and very hurt, so on the way home on the bus I jumped him and beat the crap out of him till he told the truth about what he really did too me. I told my mom when I got home and then told her about my cousin then too. She could't believe it and we never talked about it again.
At the age of 15 I started to drink and dating a guy, we were together for about a year. After we broke up I started dating a other guy named Tom found out I was pregnant at 16 droping out of school to become a mother and a wife. Before being married I was about 4 months along when Tom started to hit me but thinking to myself I made my bed now deal with it . Few weeks after my son was born I was raped .They never found the guy . Weeks later I was in the hospital having a miscarage from the rape. I remember the our first christmas Tom hit me, and I tryed to tell his mother. She would not have me saying that about her son .So I called my friend and her family come and got me and I stayed with them. I ended up going back to Tom tho, we were married 2 years when I started seeing someone else Ted and found out I was pregnant again at 19 . I got divorced from Tom.
Ted was into drinking and drugs and always like to beat me .Three days before my 20th birthday i was raped by a friend of mine Sam. .Sam got 2 years probation and a fine only because it was his first offence.I tryed to kill myself a few days after that by taking an overdose of speed. Ted didn't give a crap about what happen . We stayed together for 2 years .
When I turned 21 I started going to the bars and drinking and having sex with who ever .Not caring about me .Why should I? I felt alone and scared and thinking if I just gave out sex then they couldn't take it from me. At 22 i found myself pregnant again but chose to have an abortion. {22yrs old and a mother of 3 no thank you).I live with that pain everyday .
Few months later I was getting married again, really don't know why maybe just to have someone around.I was still drinking and having sex not caring who I hurt . Rob and I stayed together for 4 years, in the last year I was married to him I meet someone else and started to date him . After getting divorced from Rob .I was getting married again.
Don and I have been married for 8 years. This one was different he stoped and seen my pain and helped me deal with what was going on in my life. He showed me that there was more to me then drinking and having sex. He loved me no matter what I did or what had happened in the pasted, he loved me. It was hard because for a long time I felt like a nobody .
A few years later I had a long talk with my mother about everything in my life .I heard all the lines:
How could you let this happen to you ?
Didn't you fight ?
Maybe if you weren't a b*tch all the time you wouldn't have been beat.
If you didn't dress that way.
After 21 years my grandma wrote me a letter telling me that I asked for this, I wanted it to happen with my cousin, and that I needed to apologize to him! Reading this letter I was very hurt and wrote her back and said only three people knows what happened, me , my cousin and GOD.
What people don't understand is that when something happens to them like rape or sexual abuse most people don't understand the long -term affects it has on someones life. Most people get addiced to Sex, Drugs, Alcohol they become Anorexic or Bulimic and also think of Suicide, anything to make the pain and being scared go away. Believe me I have been though all of it. Feeling like your whole life has been stolen from you. We need famliy support we need to speak out We are not to blame nor do we need to carry the shame and show them they can and will not rob us anymore. Please if you know anyone that has been abused or being abused get them help and be there for them, speak out we have nothing to be scared of or to be ashamed of.
