Don

Don't be taken advantage of

Note: Most rabbit people are a joy to work with. Sadly there are those few who can make the rabbit world miserable if you don't know how to detect them, how to deal with them and how to avoid them.You are not being rude and its okay to look out for yourself.

Parents: Please, I can't express enough how impotent it is to keep a close eye on everyone your child does sales with. Always be present when your child is making sales with anyone no matter how nice this person seems to be. You would not believe some of the things people will pull to get a cheap or free bunny, even from a child. There are people who will also charge a child an arm and a leg for a pet quality rabbit with out any papers and your child thinks he/she just got a real good deal.

Never buy from a pushy person. This goes for everything in everyday life. Pushy people only care about the money they can get from you. They are not interested in what's best for the bunny and definitely not interested in whether you really want it or not. Their motto is "Buy now, think later." A gentle urge to buy is okay, pushy is not. There is a difference.

There are also thoughs who will try to become a very quick "Best Friend" so that they can use you quickly before you know what hit you. These type of people usually work with guilt trips on others. They will offer to do something out of the niceness of their harts and then act as though you owe them something in the end, (Guilt Trip) They will make you feel as though you are just taking advantage of them and their kindness. There are warning signs every where with these kind of people. You just have to know what to look for. Never ignore that red flag that goes off inside when dealing with other people. To a degree, it is okay to be judgmental and look for things that are not right, its okay to protect yourself and your family and that is what you are doing.

I have a story to tell that happened to myself. This is a perfect example of what these kind of people will do to a person. Had I not been quick to figure them out, the results would have been much worse. I was pushy when I needed to be, I backed off when I needed to, I didn't answer questions like "Don't you want to be close friends?", I did not allow them to push themselves on to me with their"Quick Best Friends" idea, I kept no secrets from my husband and friends when I began to smell trouble, I have wonderful friends who stood with me and are very supportive. I can't tell every bit of the story, it is way to long. I will skim over it to tell about the most important parts. Can you pick out all of the warning signs? (This is just one of my stories) In the end I tell you what I put together through everything that happens. If this is to long for you to read in one sitting, I have numbered the paragraphs so that you can keep track of where you are. I think that it is important that this is read all of the way through. This is a very serious thing and it should be paid closely attention to so that you can see all of the warnings to look for and what could happen if you are not careful.

My Story

1. At the Salina county fair I was standing with my two best friends. We had different bunnies out on the grooming tables to allow people to pet a real live rabbit. We were listening to bunny stories from thoughs who passed by and answering questions and giving out bunny knowledge as much as we could. This couple who really seemed to be in need of bunny knowledge approached me. They had just bought some bunnies from an auction. They thought for sure that they had Rex rabbits because they saw a rabbit that looked like theirs with the word Rex under it. They had Mini Rex. They came every night of the fair to talk to me about their bunnies. Normally I don't mind if someone is needy for bunny information but these two took up my night with questions to the point that I got nothing done for the show and it was very hard to pay attention to others who wanted to buy from me and then on top of that, most of the information I gave to them, they dismissed anyway. I felt as though my time was wasted.

2. After some weeks passed I got this call from the wife, (lets call her Mary) She was upset about her bunny having problems. I had told them to separate the bunnies. Well they only separated one. A doe that was about to have babies was forced to share a cage with a buck. The results were that he broke her back. She brought her to my house to see and I took her to yet another breeder to get another opinion. That opinion was the same as mine. I let her and her husband (lets call him Adam) know that I felt bad for them and if they lose her, I have a bunny that they could just have. I have him for sale for $25. but they can have him if they want him. I let them know that I was sorry that I didn't have a doe that I could part with.

3. A day or so later they showed up on my doorstep with out a call (I was in my P.J.s, not ready for company at all) to tell me that she gave birth, babies and mom died. They were wanting to pick up the buck that I said they could have. I said that was fine though I felt it would have been nice to have fair warning that they were coming over so that I could have been dressed. Before going out to get the bunny, Adam sat down with Mary on my couches and interrupted me telling them something to be hart to hart with Mary. He began to thank her for dealing with the bunnies (not that she wasn't just as much into this as he was) and how much it meant to him. I felt very uncomfortable and could tell by the way this was done that it was all for show infront of me. He didn't mean a word of it. What he was doing is something that is done privately between two couples so that they are able to be hart to hart.

4. We went out to the rabbitry and talked rabbit for a while. Walking back to the house, Adam noticed my home made 2 hole and 6 hole cages siting out on the ground. Asking me about them I told their stories. My chicken wire cage used to have poles for legs, having to take them off to move the cage I decided I wanted wood legs rather than putting the polls back on them. So there it sits. They were Netherland Dwarf holes. The other one I made recently for my English Lops. I wanted at least 2 holes that were oversized and could be converted to one enormously sized hole with the divider being a door that could be left open. (Keep in mind through out this story that I told him about the both of them and he saw both of them. He could see that they even needed a frame.) Out of nowhere he announces that he can put legs on them for me. It surprised me that he offered to do such a nice thing for me. He said he had lots of material to put legs on it with. Then I thought, well, maybe he just wants to return the favor for giving them a bunny. I was sure going to let him because I did need help with them. He then began to draw a picture of what he had in mind after we got back into the house. On a piece of paper he drew my cages , I watched as he explained how he would put a frame around them, he then went on about the legs and so on. (Keep in mind that he is talking about both of them, as in plural. He is also talking about putting a frame on it and he has offered to do it with his own stuff. Oh, and Mary is standing right there.) I let him know that I have lots of wood to be used for cages. Its at my mothers house. He can have what doesn't get used on my cages which was a lot.

5. Adam and Mary then began to talk about how good he is with cars and mention how much he wouldn't mind having a camper. He talked about this car he had worked on that was for sale at his house. He made it out to be an unbelievable car at such a cheap price. He had me thinking that it was in almost mint condition looking. (Weeks later I saw this car. It wasn't anything special at all. It looked like a piece of junk.) Needing lots of work done on my car I asked him if he would be willing to work on my car for trade for my camper that I had out at my mothers house. His eyes lit up "Yes!" he says in excitement. I continued to tell him that it is old and needs to be worked on. It has had a large amount of work done on the roof by the people who had it before me, I got it from some wonderful friends of mine, it was traded for a rabbit. I had cleaned it up and was using it for storage. It had 3 beds, a table with 2 booths that could also be couches, a sink, a stove, an oven, storage for luggage, a closet and a refrigerator. Amazingly it was very small even though it had all of this. I told him that he may not really want it, he can go take a look at it if he would like and then get back with me about it. "Oh, no." he says. "I want it, I don't care what kind of condition its in." Lets get your car done this weekend on Saturday. We will have a Barbie Q." Then he goes on telling me this story about a dog that I knew was not true. I was irritated because I don't like my time wasted with lies.

6. I received a call a couple days later telling me that it was still okay for me to bring the car out. They were going to go ahead and make the trade. I was confused. As far as I knew, they wanted it and the deal was already made. Why was Mary telling me this as though we hadn't made that deal? If they didn't really want it we didn't have to do this, I liked my camper a lot. I didn't really want to give it up if I didn't have to.

7. Mary constantly e-mailed me about worries she had with the Barbie Q and whether or not she was a good host and how her house is and on and on. It was to the point that I wished I could just drop off the car and go home until it was finished. She obviously was going to make me pat her on the back with every turn or mabie she just didn't have any social skills, I wasn't for sure which it was. (I don't mind patting people on the back but I don't like having to continuously be forced to do it 20 times a day every day. That makes anyone feel uncomfortable.)

8. I constantly e-mailed her back telling her that I am not going to judge her or her house or the way she raises her daughter or this or that and anythingelse that you can ever imagine or not imagine. (ofcourse she judged me any way that her and Adam could think of. They judged me, my house, my children, my marriage, everything. Things that were non of their business. She even said some judgmental things to me that weren't very nice. She was very out of line.)

9. Saturday came and it was tiring. Their 4 year old had no manners at all with other children. She constantly screams at her parents and was obviously used to getting her way. Enduring this, When Jody began to be unpleasant after being there all day long, I was about to cry I was so tired. (Jody is 2) It was announced that the car wasn't going to be done tonight so I was going to have to stay the night. No way was I staying the night. I didn't even know these people. I told Adam that since he was going to the store anyway then he could drop me off at home or I can call my husband and have him pick me up. They weren't real thrilled about this, my car was done in the next hour or 2. I know my car wasn't in the best shape but it wasn't as bad as he made it sound to be. He exaggerates quite a bit.

10. The next day I get this call from Mary telling me that they went to get the camper and there was a lot of stuff infront of it, they couldn't get it out. They said nothing to me about getting it so soon. My stuff was still in it!! She made it out as though they just had to have it right away. The next day I went out to my mothers house and got everything out of the camper, I called Mary and told her that all of my things were out of the camper and it was going to moved so that they could get it. She says to me "Oh, you didn't have to take your stuff out yet." She almost sounded disappointed. (It took them 4 months to pick it up after that.)

11. One day Adam was telling me that there is no way the roof on the camper was going to stay up and with the type of work that he was going to have to do to it to keep it up, it was going to make it real heavy. I knew he was full of it so I told him that was okay. He just wanted me to feel as though he had gotten a rotten deal and I wasn't going to put up with it.

12. I had to back off of answering questions and doing things for them. Mary would ask the same questions over and over and over and over........ They would dismiss most of the things I told them, the rest they would doubtfully question me about as if I didn't really know what I was doing. They would even ask someone else the same questions I had already answered 50 times, there for it became more and more a waist of my time to work with them. You wouldn't believe some of the things I did to help them get ready for their first show and it was for nothing.

13. At the first show that they attended, they were late getting to my house and trying to get them to realize that we needed to hurry was really hard. Even though I e-mailed her everyday for a long time, making sure she knew when to be at my home to follow me, when we needed to leave my home, when the show was suppose to start and how long it would take to get to the show. Some how that mourning this was all new news to her. Similar other situations took place all of the time. I grew tired of it very quickly.

14. Anyway, at the show they decided right off of the bat that they wanted a bunny that I had for sale. I was very disappointed because I really needed the money and of course they didn't have the money to pay for it. Mary would go on and on about how they didn't have the money to do anything or get anything but she couldn't get Adam to understand that. She isn't supposed to dare tell anyone without him being mean to her.(I will touch on this more in the a little later) So I was stuck in a position where I couldn't say 'no Adam, you can't buy her because I need the money' if I did that, he would know she was talking to me about him and wouldn't let her talk to me anymore and I she told me that he would be mean to me. (not that I cared for myself, I have friends. She, on the other hand made it out as though I was all she had.) Adam would want Mary to fork over the money that they needed for bills, I am feeling guilty for knowing what the situation is and taking the money. I decided that I still needed my cages up on legs, so if he could get them done before winter hit then they could just have her. (Keep in mind that this is not a trade for the work done on the legs, he offered to do that for free. This is an encouragement to get them done soon.) He did agree to it.

15. My friends arrived later in the day for the Lop specialty. Adam saw me greet them and I had a feeling that he was going to move right in and try the "Instant Best Friend" approach with them. He did. He didn't know that I noticed him doing that.

16. Adam and Mary had borrowed carriers from me for the show. They returned only one. They tried to tell me that they had returned them all. What kind of fool do they play me for? I got in their truck and showed them which ones were mine. (I have my name written on them.) He was not at all surprised that he still had carriers of mine but was yet rather disappointed that I knew my carriers. I wondered if I was getting them back had I not let him know that I'm not easily fooled.

17. Days after the show, Mary acts as though my friends were rude to them. HOW DARE HER. My friends are NOT rude, she just needed to quit winning. I let her know that I wasn't going to listen to it. Then later Adam said that they were to nice and felt uncomfortable. WHAT!!!!!!!! HOW DARE HIM!!!!! He was the one that approached them! I let him know as well that I didn't want to hear it.

18. I found out through my friends that Mary made it out as though I had told her that it was okay to show an animal who's color wasn't recognized and didn't tell her that the color wasn't recognized or that I didn't know. My friends know that I knew better and I was confronted about it. I was not happy at all. After all that I did for her, she acted as though I was the one who didn't know what I was doing infront of who knows how many people! I decided after that I was not going to help her with her bunnies anymore. If she wanted to know about colors or any other disqualification she could look it up herself. Then she can't point the finger at me.

19. I would continue to get mile long e-mails from Mary about how Adam can't get it that there isn't any money in the bank, they are in overdraft and she doesn't know how she is going to cover it at this point. He was so pig headed that he only cared about himself and what he could get for himself. She didn't matter to him at all. On and on and on and on... And then she would e-mail me all upset because Adam is so mean that he won't take them to a county fair an hour away. He wanted to go to drag racing. He wouldn't even let her go by herself because she isn't allowed to go anywhere by herself. Okay, lets think about this. There's no money and its all his fault yet she wants to spend gas money for an hour long trip and have fun at a county fair that will be expensive to have fun at. The fair is in a place that isn't a very good place to be in. I never go there alone. Yet she wants me to think that she is being picked on because Adam doesn't want her to go there alone with their child. Hello.

20. At this time they have noticed a really nice black buck that I had. They deeply wanted him. He was already sold, he just hadn't made it home yet. Adam tried to talk me into selling this rabbit out from underneath the lady who he was going to. He was very unhappy with me because I refuse to run my rabbitry that way. (keep this in mind as you read the story, I will not sell out from underneath another person.)

21. Weeks later the two of them came to pick up the cages. Mary insists that they thought that they already had frames. These cages couldn't be the ones Adam had agreed to do because the ones he said he would do, they thought they had frames on it. She wanted to take cages that already had legs and were in use. They acted as though they thought there was only one, not two. Mary did not want to take both of them and expressed that deeply. I said they could have that doe if he got both of them done before winter. I wasn't going to budge on it! We got them loaded as they tried to tell me that my chicken wire cage wouldn't work. I had to tell them another 10 times that I had used it before, it does work and is very well made. Of course experience means nothing to them so some how in there minds I was still wrong. Mary didn't like that I had 2 giant holes in one of them. She said something about putting more dividers in it. Over and over I had to go over this with her and at one point she even got a little argumentative about it. I don't see why she just couldn't get it that they were my cages and I should be able to have it anyway I want it. She also couldn't get it that the little holes were for Netherlands. She kept treating me as though I was going to stuff a huge 11 pound rabbit into a hole that couldn't possibly fit an 11 pound rabbit. I don't know how many times I went over that one with her before I finally gave up. She made absolutely no since. He announced before he took off that I had to buy the nails (and ofcourse he keeps what ever is left over.) He was only going to put together one cage and the other one was going to be a project for him to do when ever, maybe next year. What!!!! I don't think so. If I had to I was going to walk right into that garage of theirs and bring that rabbit home until they could pay for it because at this point I was more than sick of their lies and not wanting to keep their end of the deal. They were in a huff and being rude. They were treating me as though it wasn't right that I would expect something like this from them. They kept saying that they had to get cages of there own that they had to build and didn't have time to do both of mine, besides they didn't know there were two anyway, so that's okay if both don't get done. I'm not stupid, I knew full well that they didn't have any hutches to build. They had up what ever they were going to have up. At least for this year. They just didn't want to have to do it.

22. Adam and Mary both tried to make me believe that most of my wood was heavily infested with termites and was nothing but mush. He claimed that the bugs were so heavy in it that when ever he hit into it the bugs formed a cloud around him. I know they were lying to me. He says that he managed to find just enough decent wood to put legs on my cages. Has anyone ever heard of a pile of wood being that heavily infested and yet could still find some that was untouched by the bugs? It doesn't make any since to me. I know he was able to keep lots of wood. He also claims that my step dad told him if he was going to take some then he had to take itall. I have caught them in so many lies that I just don't believe it. I know that he also got a lot of other material from my step dad while he was there. He was not empty handed the way he wanted me to believe.

23. Scared that I wasn't going to get my cages back again with how disanist they have shown themselves to be, the lies and the guilt trips that they play are awful. They had even attempted to control me by threatening to tell my husband that I have said things about him. I'm told I never know what could be said to David when Adam is around him because he doesn't like women and therefor only has something to do with me because he's getting help from me in rabbits. Other than that I am nothing and is beneath him because I am woman.

24. At this point I was slipping into depression. I was having a hard time dealing with them and should have never allowed it to go on this long. It was now affecting my whole family. I just wanted my cages done and back so that I could cut off all communication with them. This game of theirs was mentally draining and tiring.

25. I called them up telling them that I was coming out in the next 3 days to work together to get all of them done. They both worked very strongly to discourage me. They didn't want me to see that they were lying. As if I didn't already know, they were only investing into indoor cages at the time. Why would they be worried about outdoor hutches if they weren't even going to use them? Adam ran out and spent $11. on nails and informed me that I owed him the money for it. In no time the cages were up on legs. He didn't bother to measure one of the cages and made the frame to big, causing him to do extra work to get it to fit. I was let know how unhappy they were for that. They tried to convince me that he paid for the tin he used for the roof. I knew better. It had nail hole from being used before and here and there were small rips to prove that it sat for a long time being junk before finding itself on my cages.

26. I got a call asking if now was a good time to bring the cages. I told them that I was about ready to go to the park with my children and husband. We rarely get to go do something together like this because our schedules rarely match. I was let known that they didn't care. Adam was bringing them out because now is when he wanted to do it. David and I needed to be ready to help him when he gets here. Fine, I wasn't going to argue about it. Dealing with them was about to come to an end and I was ready for that.

27. While I waited for him to come the phone rang again. It was Mary. A very mad Mary letting me know that Adam was mad as well. He was mad that he did all this work for just one rabbit. "The doe was trade for the work done on the car." I interrupted her right there. "The camper was trade for the work on the car!" Did she really think that she was going to pull that over me? So then she tries something else. Well, he thought he was getting the doe for doing one cage and that black buck for the other cage. He likes praise but he likes to be paid too." That was it!! I had it!! I let her know that I was not dumb. What makes her think she can convince me that a conversation took place that I know never did!! I know I never offered a sold rabbit to him and I never indicated it. I don't do that and they are not going to get him. I hung up with her. Mad that she had such the nerve, I was wondering what his adittude was going to be when he got here. I decided that I was going to give them a tort doe just so that if they want to say anything about this I could say, well, they got 2 rabbits out of it. That way I wouldn't have to go through everything that they had put me through. I showed him this rabbit that of course he was going to take. He decided that he wanted a white buck that was for sale as well. He said he was going to buy him but with all of the problems I had already been through with him, I knew I wasn't going to get paid. They would find something else that I owe them for and say that he was trade. I told him that he could just have him for the work on the cages. Then I did something stupid, I let him take the bunnies home in a 2 hole carrier. I should have garbed 2 cardboard boxes and put them in there. He had the nerve to look at me smiling and say"Now we are even." EVEN! He took advantage of me, what's even about that? I told him that I needed the carrier within 2 weekends from that day. He said that wasn't a problem. He would get it to me by then. I wondered if I wasn't going to get it back without a fight as I watched him put them into his truck. Then he stood there telling David and I long story after long story that in no way could be true. I wanted him to stop wasting my time with lies and just go. He finally did hours later.

28. I went to check on the cages. Just as I feared. All the work I had put into the floor was wasted. Adam didn't know how to work with the material that I used. He decided that it needed to be trimmed and in doing so he had totally detached the floor in my large holes. I had to nail the floor to the wood frame so that it would not fall out from underneath the bunnies. The chicken wire cage was smashed down and the holes smashed together. It looked horrible. I fixed it as much as I could.

29. Now it was time to get my carrier back. I had a huge fight on my hands as they tried several different guilt trips and then told me that he sold it to an Arab guy, would I like him to take an airline to go get it? By the way, how was my car running, was that gallon of oil enough or should he have put more into it?

30. I responded by telling him that I gave him a buck in the beginning without any strings attached. He never told me he wanted paid back for that pint of oil that he put in my car and I told him that he didn't have to do that, I had oil at home. If he wants he can have that buck for the oil and call it a good trade.

31. I got e-mail back right away saying that he was just joking and my car had nothing to do with this and in his words, don't be so defensive. I couldn't go on with this. He was scaring me and my friends were scared for me so I began talking to my mother about putting something infront of the camper so that they couldn't take it. I was going to sell it and replace the carrier that I couldn't get back rather than fight about it. Finally, Mary showed up on my doorstep with my carrier.