In response to terrorism....

It has just dawned on me that while I have been searching frantically for article to try to explain to me what I have been feeling, what I should have been doing is searching within myself, so I guess I will start writing and see what comes out.

Sep. 11, 2001...
     started out a pretty usual day. I was at work, there were alot of people absent that day. We were doing estimates, I think. I was listening to CBS on my tv/radio like I do every morning. I went to the break room to call my son to wake him for work. When I got back to my desk the Judge Mathis show had already been interrupted whit the news that a plane had hit the World Trade Center. My first thought was Oh my...someone is in big trouble. It never occurred to me that it was anything other than a terrible accident. I turned around and got the attention of some of my co-workers, who were listening to the radio and hadn't heard anything yet. They had just gotten their radios changed over to the tv mode when a woman who was being interviewed at the scene said "Oh my God! Another plane has hit the building. He just flew right into it. He did it on purpose!" And the world seemed to me to miss a beat.
     No one said a word. Everyone who was listening stopped working and the others picked up on the fact that something horrible had happened and started asking questions. No one could answer anyone. All we could do was look at each other in disbelief. I can't even begin to explain the looks on the faces of the people around me. I've never seen so many emotions running through so many people in synch like that before. I probably never will again.
     After a little while, when more info started coming in, such as where the planes departed from and were headed to people started leaving the room to check on loved ones in Boston and New York. Luckily no one in our building lost anyone.
     About 2 and a half hours into the broadcast, there was an announcement that a building wide meeting had been called. Since I work in a goverment building, that is located about 4 miles from a major airport, we were told that anyone who didn't feel safe was free to leave. I think that most of us left more so that we could go hold our children and loved ones, rather than of any fears. It seemed like no one knew what to do, if we were safe, should we leave our homes? Or should we lock the doors and stay inside? I know that no one left the TV or radio for long.
     As the days, and now weeks have went on, the presiden has asked us to go back to our "normal" routines. How are we supposed to do that? I don't know if it is the amount of evil or maybe the pain that Mother Earth had to feel at the moment of the explosions and the crushing blow as what once was the pride of one of her bodies of land came crashing down while her children were trapped inside, bleeding & begging for mercy, but I, and probably many Wiccans, have been completely off balanced since. And everyone I know say the same thing, something just feels very wrong.
     The President says that this is a new kind of war, a war like we've never seen before, we are not fighting a person or nation, but terrorism itself. What does that mean? Does that mean that our thoughts, movements, lives are now going to be scrutinized? Are we now subject to investigation or is that limited to a certain "religious group" ? And if so are we still living in America? Are any of us still really "free"?
    People around me are talking about this being the end of the world. If so I believe   it is the end of the world as we now know it. I hope not. I hope that future generations do not have to live in fear. I hope that the damage done to Mother Earth on September the 11th does not kill the spirit of her children.
She will repair herself....will we?